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This Is For Every Person Who Has Ever Had Anxiety

This Is For Every Person Who Has Ever Had Anxiety

In the fast-paced, chaotic world we live in today, it seems that more people suffer from anxiety than ever before.

In fact, according to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, 40 million adults age 18 or older in the United States have some anxiety disorder, making anxiety the most common mental illness in America.

Often, anxiety can feel incredibly isolating, lonely, and scary and can make the sufferer feel like no one truly understands. Anxiety only rests while you sleep, and even then, sleep seems to evade you more nights than it should. Anxiety clouds your mind so much that you can barely differentiate reality from the one you’ve created inside your mind. Indeed, the one within speaks so much louder. Does the battle ever end? Do hope, love, and happiness ever win?

As someone who suffers from anxiety herself, I can relate to how debilitating, hopeless, and frustrating you feel if you have anxiety. The following letter goes out to everyone who battles their mind daily and might need a little something to keep them going.

This Is For Everyone Who Has Ever Had Anxiety

stress and anxietyAnxiety doesn’t care whether you feel tired or fed up; it persists despite your weariness. Moreover, it trudges on and infiltrates your mind just when you thought you’d found peace. It doesn’t let up. It only seems to get worse when you try to fight it. The moment you wish it would just leave you alone for a while, it seems to bite back twice as hard.

Anxiety haunts you in your sleep and follows you around during the day. It doesn’t let your mind rest, always making you fixate, contemplate, and suffocate. You didn’t ask for this, and you can’t understand why you can’t attain peace. Life already comes with challenges, but the anxiety makes it worse because EVERYTHING feels like a huge obstacle.

Going on simple errands seems draining before you even walk out the door, and giving a presentation at work prompts panic and significant discomfort. Life moves so quickly, and it seems that taking time to rest and refuel one’s mind and body is looked down upon. This world wasn’t made for the anxious, so where do all those who have anxiety fit in? How do we deal with a world that asks us to keep on going even when we feel we can’t take another step?

With so much to worry about, it seems that peace of mind is either a distant memory or a paradise island you can’t afford to visit. Anxiety creeps up when you least expect it and stays around long after you try to send it packing. It doesn’t ever want to leave! It builds a permanent home in your mind and robs you of all positive thoughts and feelings. You try to fit in, smile at strangers, keep up with friendships, and go about your everyday life, but inside, you know something feels wrong.

The worst part…

You try to correct these thoughts and feelings and heal them from within, but anxiety is a tricky beast to tame. Anxiety is a silent monster, sabotaging your mind and taking up valuable space when you didn’t even invite it inside. It just comes and goes when it wants and seems to stay far too long when it does visit.

Anxiety doesn’t understand you when you say you need a break or when you question the voices running through your mind. It’s persistent, resistant, and cruel, a parasite that sucks your energy and clouds your brain. Anxiety doesn’t just live in the mind, though. You know the feeling all too well. Perhaps you have jittery nerves, a racing heart, butterflies in your stomach, headaches, nausea, blushing, a lump in your throat, sweaty palms, and the sheer panic that overtakes you in a stressful situation.

The worst part is you can’t seem to differentiate between a stressful and harmless environment. Eventually, it all seems to bleed together. Everything seems stressful because your brain can’t remember how it should feel in certain situations.

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Final Thoughts on Reaching Out to Anyone Who Has Ever Had Anxiety

If you are one of the millions who suffer from an anxiety disorder, please don’t hesitate to get help if you need it. It doesn’t make you weak or a burden to ask for help. Instead, it makes you brave and strong to admit that you have a problem and need guidance. No one should have to go through this life alone. So don’t hold back your thoughts or feelings just because society tells you to. Sit down and talk with a loved one, write in a journal, meditate, or do anything that helps feel a sense of release and relaxation.

We live in a stressed-out world, but this doesn’t mean you have to take on the feelings of the majority. Take time away from society, and don’t apologize for it. Nature, going within, taking care of your body, having positive people in your life, having a sense of purpose, and helping others can all help to alleviate feelings of anxiety. Never give up because the feelings won’t last forever. You have to be willing to work on yourself and have the courage to fight the demons in your mind. Remember, they can’t win if you don’t let them.

(C) Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

7 Stretches In 7 Minutes For Lower Back Pain Relief

There really is no other way to say this: back pain sucks. Anyone who has experienced a back injury or a bout with back pain can attest to how much it sucks. Back pain is also incredibly common: 31 million Americans experience back pain during any given time.

The agony caused by back pain can be excruciating and even lead to disability or handicap. Common back pain also requires due diligence in order to care for it effectively. The most common types of back pain involve aches, spasms, and stiffness – all of which contribute to an affliction that is sometimes difficult to manage or predict.

One lifestyle trend that has led to prolific back pain is the sedentary nature of our daily lives. More of us work sitting in a cubicle than at any other time in history. Spending more time in the office or working from home means more sitting and less exercise. Less exercise leads to a complacent body, which is turn leads to less muscle activity. Do you see where this is going?

The good thing is that we can do more to both prevent and heal back pain. As it turns out, stretching is one of the best methods for doing both. It doesn’t require much time either.

Back pain is the leading cause of disability in Americans under 45 years old. More than 26 million Americans between the ages of 20-64 experience frequent back pain. National Centers for Health Statistics

Here are 7 stretches that you can do in 7 minutes to help reduce back pain:

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1. The “Complete” Back Stretch

You can do this quick stretch if you have something you can grab onto – a countertop, desk, couch, table, etc. –. Simply hold onto the surface and walk backward, maneuvering the back until it is at a 90 degree angle. Make sure to push the butt upwards until pressure can be felt in the lower back. Hold this position for about 15 seconds. Repeat.

2. The Spine Stretch

Lay on the floor with legs and arms flat. Make sure the legs are together. Rest the left hand around the abdominal area, keeping the right arm straight and flat against the floor. Keeping the legs together, bend them towards the waist. Slowly rotate the legs leftwards as far as possible while keeping the rest of the body in position. Hold for about 20 seconds. Repeat.

3. The Hamstring Stretch That Reduces Back Pain

Lay flat on your back and place your hands behind the thigh. Slowly lift the leg with your hands while sliding them down towards the foot until fully stretched. Hold this position for about 20 seconds and repeat with the other leg. This stretch is particularly effective for instances of lower back pain.

4. The Knee To Chest Stretch

This stretch is performed exactly as advertised. Simply lay flat on the ground, eyes upwards. Flex either leg at the knee and place your hands on the shin. Pull your knee towards the chest until you feel tight. Hold this position for about 20 seconds and then repeat with the opposite leg. Repeat two or three times.

5. The Piriformis Stretch

While this stretch sounds complicated, it is relatively easy. Lay on your back and cross the left leg over the right, resting your left ankle on the right knee. Grab ahold of your left knee with your hands and gently pull it toward the opposite shoulder. Hold this position for 20 seconds and relax. Switch sides and repeat twice.

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6. The Hip Flexors Stretch for Back Pain

There are a few different variations of this stretch. The one we’ll describe here is arguably the simplest and most effective. Get yourself into a half-kneeling position – the back leg is the one that is to be stretched. Drive your hips forward until the back knee is resting on the group. This exercise should stretch the iliopsoas, a primary hip flexor that, when stretched, can alleviate lower back pain.

7. The Lying Down Quadriceps Stretch

The quadriceps are also attached to your lower back. Loosening up and relaxing these muscles can help to relax any tension, which is often the source of lower back pain. Lay on your side with a hand supporting your head. Grab the lower shin and pull the leg back behind the body as far as possible. Hold the position for about 20 seconds. Switch sides and repeat once or twice more.

 

What Do Your Social Media Updates Reveal About Your Personality?

While many of us would like to think Facebook and Twitter don’t reflect someone’s real life, in some ways, their status updates say a lot about their personality. We don’t recommend spending hours deciphering posts to determine the personality types of your online friends, but social media updates can provide a quick overview of someone’s character traits. We all find ourselves bored from time to time and use social media as a way to combat that boredom, so you may as well get something out of the time spent on Facebook, Twitter, or other media platforms just to have something that is trending similar to this Jimmy John Shark photo. Why not check it out as well?

People post about a variety of topics from esoteric musings to job opportunities to a new gadget they bought, and believe it or not, you can tell a lot about a person just by what they decide to share on their social media accounts.

What you choose to share on social media reflects alot about what kind of persona you’d like to create online, and different types of status updates suggest different personality traits.

Here’s what your social media updates say about your personality:

Related article: What Does Your Palm Reveal About Your Personality?

Have you ever wondered what prompts a person to post a photo of their hubby vs an update about the nature of our existence?

Well, this study in the “Journal of Personality of Individual Differences” reveals everything you’ve ever wanted to know about status updates and personality types.

Researchers Tara Marshall, Katharina Lefringhausen, and Nelli Ferenczi studied the effects of an individual’s self-esteem, levels of narcissism and the Big Five personality traits (neuroticism, extraversion, openness to experience, agreeableness and conscientiousness) on their status updates, and found pretty interesting results.

They also formed conclusions about the purpose of these posts, whether the user wanted attention and acceptance, an outlet for self-expression, or the ability to communicate information on their channel or webpage.

In order to come up with the results, the researchers first categorized the topics that people post about on Facebook: social activities and everyday life (social activities, something funny that happened to them, everyday activities, pets, sporting events), intellectual thoughts (views on politics, current events, research/science), achievements (achieving goals, their own creative output, accomplishments, anything work or school related), diet and exercise, children and feelings about their relationship.

After this step, the researchers then gave 555 Facebook users (59 percent female and 41 percent male) tests to measure their levels of self-esteem and narcissism, as well as their levels of the Big Five personality traits.

They also asked the participants how often they used Facebook, how many “likes” they usually got on their status updates and how frequently they posted about the topics listed above.

After crunching the numbers, the researchers began to notice a pattern regarding what types of status updates people made, and what type of personality they had.

Not surprisingly, the study found that posts about social activities, life, and achievements received the most likes and comments, and posts about deep thoughts and intellectual ideas received the least amount.

While this certainly seems a bit shallow and superficial, it makes sense when we think about the general population. Most people want to congratulate someone on an achievement or connect with them socially, but many people shy away from debates and deep topics.

Related article: Which Bird Personality Type Are You?

For instance, talking about politics or religion in an opinionated way on your Facebook might deter people from engaging with you at all, depending on the words used and the context of the subject matter. Strong viewpoints on Facebook make people shy away because they generally don’t want to get involved in a discussion or feel singled out if they have a different view than everyone else on the thread.

Now, onto the Big Five. This portion of the study perhaps revealed the most interesting results about personality and status updates.

Also, according to the study, people who have lower self-esteem have a tendency to post updates about their romantic relationship “as a way of laying claim to their relationship when it feels threatened.”

On the opposite side of the coin, the narcissists among us enjoy posting status updates about achievements in order to receive validation, which proves “consistent with narcissists’ tendency to boast in order to gain attention.”

People high in narcissism also tend to post about their diet and exercise routine, but for the purpose of self-expression.

This suggests that narcissists might post about their health regimen in order “to express the personal importance they place on physical appearance.”

Extroverted people generally post more about social activities and everyday life as a way of connecting with others.

Neurotic people have a tendency to post updates for validation and to “seek the attention and support that they lack offline.”

People who enjoy new experiences and have an open mind generally use Facebook to share intellectual ideas and post their opinions about topics in order to share information.

People high in conscientiousness write more frequently about their children to communicate and share information, perhaps in “an indirect form of competitive parenting.”

While the study might not reflect everyone’s habits on social media, it does provide some insight into people’s general personality traits, and what types of statuses each personality might post on social media accounts.

How To Solve An Argument With Your Partner In 3 Steps

An argument are a normal part of a relationship, but they don’t have to be a constant headache when there is a fairly simple solution to solving them.

You and your partner are two different people with different needs, so having conflict is normal. The art of negotiating is something that is worth your time to master because it will help you in other areas of your life as well, not just with your relationship.

How To Solve An Argument With Your Partner In 3 Steps

Problems in a relationship can come from a huge range of topics from financial to sexual. Communication with calm, honest expression of feelings is the way to solve these problems in just a few steps. Remember that communication includes both listening and talking and that listening is the more important of the two.

Arguing fair is important for couples during the discussion process, so let’s review the rules of engagement according to psychologist and couples counselor Dr. Nathan Cobb.

Start by agreeing to abide by these fair fighting rules:

  • No degrading language (name calling, cursing, belittling)
  • No blaming
  • Don’t use raised voices or yelling
  • No violence or threats of violence
  • No threats of divorce
  • Focus on your own needs, not what you think your partner’s are
  • Focus on today, not the past
  • Take turns speaking

These are the ground rules before you start working on bringing peace to your arguments, but you may want to add more depending on you and your partner’s personal boundaries about what is and isn’t off limits.

1. Manage your own emotional response

Anger and frustration are typically the most common emotions that people experience when they are having an argument in their relationship. Anger has the potential to become violent if it is not managed. Slow your breathing down before speaking and if needed, take a five-minute walk while distracting yourself with a good song.

Fear or anxiety is possible when you worry that your partner may leave you. Think about any worries that you have now and remind yourself that fear is about what might happen in the future, not what you can do right now.

Sadness or feelings of depression is certainly normal when you are having problems in your relationship. Sadness means that you need something that you aren’t getting, so this is a great place to start looking at what you really need in your relationship. Think about how you would finish this sentence: ‘I’m sad because I need more ____ in my life.’

2. Give your partner’s argument some time and perspective

Now that you’ve given your emotions a thought, think about whether this is a situation that needs to be handled right now or if it can be put on hold. Researchers at the University of California at Irvine sound that people who were not able to manage anger with strategies such as taking a time-out had fewer and lower quality romantic, social, and occupational relationships.

Your partner is so frustrating at times. Why can’t they see things from your perspective from time to time? Good point, and yet, have you tried to see things from their perspective?

Related article: 10 Reasons To Have Sex Daily

When the argument continues, it is difficult for either of you to gather your thoughts beyond the immediate gut response of yes/no or good/bad. The issue is deeper than that because someone is not getting his or her needs met.

Unless a decision is needed urgently, even as little as 2-5 minutes of quiet peace can calm your mind enough to start gaining some insight into how to resolve your differences. It can also help you see how important this issue is to your partner and that means it’s worth your time and consideration.

3. Ask for what you need

Each of you should now take a few minutes to express what you need from the relationship that you are currently not getting. This should be very specific with what you want your partner to do for you.

For example ‘I need to feel secure in our relationship’ is vague because it does not define what you expect from your partner. Instead you could say ‘I need you to be honest and tell me when you talk to members of the opposite sex.’

Related article: 5 Little Things That Will Improve Your Relationship

Couples counseling is a healthy option for those who might need an impartial person to listen to the argument from an unbiased perspective and offer suggestions for how to solve things. If you and your partner have tried to work things out and are still committed to each other, look for a licensed therapist in your area.

Some relationship problems can be solved with communication training programs. According to a study in The Journal of Family Psychology ‘It has been shown that five to six sessions of relationship education with a skills-training focus reliably improve couple communication.’ Licensed counselors are also available who will work with you via video phone call. There are counseling apps and counseling by text available now as well. Check out all of your therapy options before you or your partner throw in the towel.

(C) Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

13 Yoga Poses That Melt Away Stress

Stress is a serious health risk that can be easily eliminated from your life by trying these 13 easy yoga poses. The simplicity of holding a pose while breathing deeply allows the muscles to release stress. The mind is also able to rest through yoga by focusing on breath and position rather than stress.

Why does yoga work to eliminate stress from your body? The gentle stretching of multiple muscle groups paired with the focus on posture and rhythmic breathing help to bring the body to a state of relaxation.

For those who are chronic worriers, yoga allows their mind to focus on the physical sensations of their body and breathing. Eliminating stressful thoughts by replacing them with thoughts about controlled movement is one way that yoga helps people with anxiety.

13 Yoga Poses That Eliminate Stress From Your Body

Some yoga classes are designed to increase metabolism with accelerated breathing and moving through poses more quickly. Although these yoga methods are good for fitness, the better strategy for eliminating stress is slow, controlled movements and breath. Read more about how breathing techniques can help in our article This Ancient Breathing Technique Can Help Relieve Anxiety.

Multiple studies have shown a decrease in anxiety for people who use yoga with as little as one session of doing certain yoga poses. Research has shown that yoga can also help relieve phobias as well as general stress.

Stress and fear are closely related emotions. If you have stress in your life, it is likely that you will feel fearful about the future. When you are worrying about ‘what if,’ your mind is not focused on the present moment.

Yoga helps practitioners to focus their minds on the here and now. Being focused on the present moment is best for our mental well-being. For those who suffer from anxiety and stress, yoga may be the best alternative to taking medication.

Prior to doing yoga exercise, make sure that your physical health can support these activities. If you have any injuries, talk to your medical professional before undertaking a yoga program. For the following yoga poses, hold each for 5 slow breaths or 1-2 minutes.

1. Child’s Pose

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For this simple yoga pose, kneel on a yoga mat.

Bend forward with your forehead resting on the mat and your chest resting on your thighs.

Rest hands near your feet, palms up.

2. Head to Knee Forward Bend

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Sit with legs extended and feet flexed.

Bend one knee, bringing the foot to the inside of the upper thigh.

Place palms on either side of extended leg.

Bend forward with forehead resting on extended leg.

3. Bridge Pose

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Lie on your back with feet flat hip width apart and knees bent.

Palms should be facing down with fingertips toughing heels.

Raise hips and chest off the mat.

You should feel tightness in your thighs, buttocks and abdominal muscles,

4. Cow Pose

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Kneel on all fours.

Allow the belly to sag down toward the mat as spine also curves downward.

Lift chin upward.

5. Standing Forward Bend Pose

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While standing, bend forward.

Palms should be flat on the floor near feet.

Head should rest against legs.

6. Easy Pose

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Sit crossed-legged on the yoga mat.

Both feet should be under the opposite knees.

Rest palms of your hands on your knees.

7. Dolphin Pose

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Stand and bend forward, touching palms to floor.

Walk hands forward until you can place your forearms flat on the yoga mat.

Relax your neck and head.

8. Eagle Pose

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Bend knees and balance on one foot.

Cross other leg over balancing leg, then wrap foot behind calf of balancing leg.

Cross arms, bend elbows and press palms together.

Repeat on opposite leg.

9. Cat Pose

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Kneel on all fours with toes pointed.

Round back into a curve arcing up.

Allow head and neck to relax.

10. Corpse Pose

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Lie flat on your back.

Palms should be facing up.

11. Puppy Pose

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Kneel on all fours with feet flexed and toes against yoga mat.

Walk hands forward with arms straight and palms against floor.

Allow chest and forehead to touch floor.

12. Extended Triangle Pose

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Stand with one foot facing forward and other foot turned out 90 degrees.

Step forward one giant step with the foot that is turned out.

Bend forward placing hand on the ankle of forward foot.

Reach opposite arm upward.

13. Legs Up the Wall Pose

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Sit with rear close to a wall.

Put both legs up the vertical surface of the wall with feet flexed.

Arms should be out straight from shoulders with palms down.

These poses help blood flow to muscles and you should feel a gentle warming of your body as you stretch. The release of muscle tension from yoga can result in less pain, including relief of minor tension headaches.

7 Life Lessons You Can Learn From Being In A Relationship

As life-long learners connecting with people all over this big blue planet, we gain many lessons from being in both healthy and unhealthy relationships. The way we define love as a society may change over time, but the way it feels in your heart will always be the same.

Being in a relationship can give you emotional lessons as well as social knowledge in the form of intrapersonal and interpersonal skills.

After you have been with someone for a while you can learn to pick up on your partner’s body language habits, facial expressions and what they mean.

You learn to use your emotional intelligence, which is the ability to detect another person’s emotional state, which is a valuable social skill to have.

7 Life Lessons You Learn From Being In A Relationship

1. We can choose our emotional state

A couple who is going through a difficult time, for example, with the illness of a loved one, often has to go about the usual business or earning money, paying bills, and caring for a family. The stress of having to cope with a setback while also needing to keep moving can be a burden.

One significant life lesson you learn from being in a relationship is to choose your mood. Sure, you may have a sorry situation to recover from, but hanging your head only brings down those around you. Making the best of a bad situation is an excellent life lesson that love teaches us.

2. The moments of pain are worth all of the joys

These setbacks are just that, a temporary moment of disappointment. The laughter, joy, smiles, giggles, jokes, euphoria, hugs, snuggles and more all make these sad moments as temporary as the pain from a needle when you get a shot. It hurts for a moment, and then you’re all protected.

Related article: 6 Signs You’re In A Relationship With Your Soulmate

3. People are capable of change

Aging, choices we make, experiences we gain, how can we not change over time? People rarely change their core beliefs, values or traits that they’ve had since birth but they can change their attitudes, behaviors, thoughts and beliefs, no matter their age.

Related article: 7 Things A Strong Woman Will Never Tolerate In A Relationship

The key to being able to change someone is for that person to be willing to change. Can you change your partner, not really but you can reward them by praising things that you like them doing. This reinforces the positive behavior as long as they like the reward.

This type of Pavlovian behavior psychology has been around for decades and it is still relevant today. Anything that activates your brain’s pleasure center can act as a reward for reinforcing good behavior. That could be food, sex, a ‘Thank you honey,’ or anything that your partner loves.

4. The past can only affect your attitude if you let it

Researchers at the University of Massachusetts studying relationship lessons and attitudes of optimism vs. pessimism found that peoples experiences in their own dating relationships predicted whether or not they were optimistic or pessimistic about future love relationships.

In other words, if your parents had it rough, you will too. But people in relationships have learned the life lesson that they are in control of their behavior in the here and now and they won’t let the past affect how their present relationship progresses.

5. Learning to compromise will help you all through your life

You never get to control the remote? How about the room temperature? Isn’t it your partner’s turn to do the dishes There will never be a day where everything goes your way when you’re part of a couple and that’s one life lesson that people in relationships have learned.

That’s because by being in a relationship they have learned to compromise. Peaceful harmony cannot exist between two grown adults who have different tastes, preferences, likes, and dislikes all the time. Therefore, it is essential to learn how to compromise in order to live with a partner in a relationship.

6. Forgiveness is powerful healing magic

Researchers studying the effects of a 6-week counseling program to help forgive someone who has wronged you. When participants completed the program, their mental health improved more and they had more forgiveness toward their exes than the control group did.

7. Love changes over time

The initial fire and passion from a relationship’s beginning may have faded, but the emotions become more intense, deep, and primal than ever. The heart muscle becomes stronger as it is exercised, and even through deep emotional connections we increase our heart rate slightly. Stronger hearts can love more deeply, and that’s one heart-healthy life lesson you learn from being in a relationship.

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