5 Signs You Need to Clear Your Mind

May 20, 2016 by Power of Positivity

When you are unable to keep your attention directed at a person or an activity for the needed length of time, it’s just one of the signs that you need to clear your mind right now.

Functioning in your day without a clear mind is like playing the role of a puppet. The less you are mentally present in your body, the less you see, hear, feel and care about the world around you. You are a shell of a person moving and acting without feeling, sensing or truly being.

In this article, we will cover 5 signs that you need to clear your mind, as well as some techniques to help you be more present and focused.

5 Signs You Need to Clear Your Mind

1. You feel fatigued

A lack of energy is common for those who need mental clarity. The energy that you need to get through your day is blocked by a mental, emotional, or metaphysical block and you need to remove it. In our recent article If You Feel Like You Can’t Get Motivated, This May Be Why, we talked about the solar plexus chakra and how to remove an energy blockage.

2. You feel stuck

Not making any progress lately? Not able to do what you want to do? When you lack mental clarity, you feel stuck, like you are literally unable to go out and do what you want to do.

The blockage is most likely either a mental one or an emotional one. You can choose to hold on to the false thoughts that you have and stay in a mental fog or you can challenge your thinking and escape from the prison of your mind.

When we are stuck emotionally, we have feelings of regret, sadness, anxiety, fear, frustration and so on that are keeping us in one place. Find a healthy way to express how you feel by writing in a journal, being creative with art, or even working physically in your garden.

Getting outside has been shown to reduce stress and directed attention fatigue (DAF). Directed attention fatigue is what happens when you use your brain too long for a specific task. Once you find a healthy outlet for your mental or emotional blockage, you should regain mental clarity quickly.

3. You aren’t taking good care of yourself

From drinking too much to not brushing your teeth, to risky sexual behavior, lacking mental clarity usually means that you are also engaging in hurtful behavior toward yourself. You aren’t showing yourself the love right now, and the rest of us can tell because your hygiene is suffering.

You used to look sharp, clean, and well-put-together every day, but lately, you look like you dragged yourself out the door. Good self-care is also self-love. To give yourself love, you need to have mental clarity and be focused on the present moment.

Give yourself the gift of excellent self-care. A massage or pedicure, healthy, heart-warming food, joyful movement, and listening to soothing music can help enhance mental clarity.

Researchers studying mental clarity and music found that music could affect the listener’s physiological and psychological state significantly. When you engage in self-loving behavior, you experience the love that you give to yourself in the present moment. You have to have the mental clarity to give love.

4. You feel frustrated

Anger is welling up inside you. You feel so frustrated at being blocked that you have a short fuse with people lately. Everything is irritating to you.

Anger is a sign of a lack of mental clarity because the angry person has allowed their mood to become negative rather than maintaining a focus on the task that they were working on. A negative Words have the power to hurt when you take them personally. Remind yourself of the previous times that you were able to handle frustration calmly and gracefully. Practice by visualizing yourself handling this with grace too.

5. You feel depressed

Sadness or even feeling a lack of energy or desire to act is a sign that you need mental clarity. Depression can be scary because the person who is suffering has no desire to help themselves and their depressed mood often drives others away.

If you know someone or suffer from depression, the hardest thing you can do is ask for help, but please do ask someone for help now, before you cause harm to yourself. Depression is a downward spiral that you can climb out of.

Seek a licensed counselor to talk about your feelings. You can find them online now so getting help privately is easier than ever. Having an outlet for your emotions in the form of conversation with a stranger is sometimes exactly what you need. Sunshine, exercise, lemon water and a favorite meal might do the trick, although you may need to ask a friend to force you to do these things.

4 Signs Overthinking Is Hurting Your Relationship

May 20, 2016 by Power of Positivity

We carry past issues into new relationships. When this happens, anxiety takes over while inducing a hefty dosage of overthinking. We fear heartache. We begin the downward spiral of panic reading into every conversation, moment, and silence.

Here are 4 signs that your overthinking might be hurting your relationship:

1. Clinging to the phone.

When we carry insecurities we try to control everything around us. Our thoughts are powerful. When our partner doesn’t call or text we begin to fear he/she has someone else. Or, we aren’t as important as we want to be. We check our phones, our messages, and every part of social media available. People are busy. They have jobs, responsibilities, and hobbies. Overthinking creates scenarios that aren’t there. When we get comfortable in relationships we don’t have to be on constant call. Step back when the anxiety appears. Ask yourself, “What has changed for me to feel this way?” Give your partner space to be his/her own person. Obsessing over a phone call creates a tremendous amount of stress.

2. Over analyzing every moment.

Have you spent a great time with your loved one and when the evening is over you begin to analyze every conversation? You begin to find fault in yourself and him/her through replaying sarcastic jokes or comments. Our egos will do anything and everything to feed on insecurities. Our worth gets questioned and you begin to feel like you are on an emotional roller coaster of untruths. You must realize that when you feel good about yourself, everyone else does too. Keeping busy during these moments of panic helps reduce the escalation of an argument while later avoiding insomnia. Take deep breaths. Go for a walk. Take yourself to a movie with a friend. Distraction distances the issue at hand.

3. Putting your partner through a test.

When you begin to question everything, you also put your relationship on a tremendous strain of stress. If you are second guessing everything he/she says you are also creating tension between the two of you. Being in a loving relationship requires trust and respect. If you have your reasons for feeling that he/she isn’t being faithful then you must tackle that issue. But, if this is based on past experiences and unhealthy patterns of obsession then you need to find a way to deal with these issues before your partner is exhausted by the behavior. Miscommunication damages relationships. Sit and express your fears without blame and judgment. The faster you share your thoughts the easier it is to let go of the obsession.

4. Assuming the worst.

Your partner is late for dinner. You’ve called his cell and he doesn’t answer. You call his office and he’s been gone for hours. You immediately believe that he is having an affair. He walks into your home and finds you sitting in hysterical sobs. You don’t let him speak. Or, you kick him out of the house. You don’t know that he’s been in a meeting. You don’t know he had a minor traffic accident. That’s because you assumed the worst before even asking. In his defense, you have not taken the time to hear him.

This happens when our minds transmit post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) from the past. If one person cheated we assume that everyone else will as well. Overthinking forces the brain to extract any scenario from past events while creating new drama. This also causes depression and high levels of anxiety. Some people begin to feel the effects immediately through migraines, upset stomachs, and heart palpitations. The body goes on the high alert mode of fight of flight.

A research study at University of California Santa Barbara reveals that overthinking can be detrimental to human performance.

“There are two kinds of memory: implicit, a form of long-term memory not requiring conscious thought and expressed by means other than words; and explicit, another kind of long-term memory formed consciously that can be described in words. Scientists consider these distinct areas of function both behaviorally and in the brain.”

The brain will react to past stimuli of long-term memory. When you find yourself overthinking and over-analyzing a present situation it is mechanically placed in the brain as a past function.

In order to break the cycle, there are several things you can do:

1. Consciously catch yourself and step out of the moment by doing something different. If you are obsessing about not getting a text, go for a hike or sit outside in nature.

2. Get creative. Inspiration cannot flow if you are overthinking. The act of letting go of things is necessary in order to create.

3. Call a friend. Talking about things releases them from the mind. When we hold on to thoughts they become catastrophic in nature. Share your concerns and fears.

4. Bring laughter into your life. Watch a comedy. Bring joy in those moments that generate stress. Laugh at yourself. It’s important to step away from the moment of anxiety and find something that gives pleasure.

Overthinking is a habit that can be re-adjusted and reworked. It’s up to you to find what’s important in your relationship. Make time to sit and talk with each other. You don’t want to lose a loving partner. Be vulnerable and be brave with one another.

9 Things You Need To Do If Your Partner Is A Gemini

May 20, 2016 by Power of Positivity

As the love interest of your Gemini partner, there are at least 9 things you need to do for your lover who is such a duality. You really got a bargain when you landed a Gemini as a partner, because it’s like a two-for-one deal.

Of course having multiple partners wrapped up in a single person can be both an extra help as well as too much to handle. So, what’s a Gemini lover to do for their partner to keep the twins tamed and terrifically happy? Keep reading to find ways to double the bliss in your Gemini romance.

9 Things You Need To Do If Your Partner Is A Gemini

Those born May 21 – June 20 are the sign of the twins, Gemini. Gemini is ruled by the planet Mercury and is an air sign. Gemini is associated with the color green and the birthstone emerald. Friends of Gemini know that they are energetic, indecisive, witty, unique, and are an intellectual sign.

1. Let your partner have alone time

Gemini almost always has nothing but good feelings, however, in those few times that they are feeling down, let them have some solitary time to work things out. Your partner enjoys reading and learning, so offer some interesting books to stimulate their imagination.

2. Let them play with others

Don’t be mad, but Gemini tends to have quite a few besties, because hey, there’s two of them to go around. Geminis tend to attract a crowd due to their natural charisma.

In our article ‘7 Things You Need To Know About Being Friends With a Gemini‘ we told you ‘Researchers confirmed ‘the astrological proposition that people born with the sun in a positive sign (Aries, Gemini, Leo, Libra, Sagittarius, Aquarius) are extroverted and those with the sun in a negative sign (Taurus, Cancer, Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn, Pisces) are introverted.’

3. Let your partner be right

Gemini loves being different from the rest, so being a naysayer comes naturally to this zodiac sign. They have to be different from you, after all. This can be one of the sign’s most frustrating facts for friends of Gemini.

4. Make your partner a little jealous

Lovers of Gemini know that they are all over the place and easily bored, but they keep you on your toes too, just like a toddler. If you’ve known your Gemini partner for a week or 10 years, by now you know that they are good-hearted but don’t seem to want to commit.

To a Gemini lover attracted to you, stay desirable yourself. If Gemini sees you as attractive and gets jealous, they will want to keep you all for themselves. They want all the best things for themselves, and who can blame them for their excellent taste in you?

5. Be honest about your emotions

Gemini is comfortable with uncomfortable emotions. They like to be honest and will ask you about things that others would sweep under the rug. As a result, your lover knows more about you than anyone else.

They don’t like negative emotions so they will try to help you turn that frown upside down fast, which is what they do for themselves too. Hiding sadness, anger or fear from one will make them distrust you because they are pretty good at picking up on subtle things that give your true feelings away.

6. Let your partner be indecisive

Gemini loves to see both sides of any decision. It’s not that they can’t make up their mind, it’s that your Gemini partner likes both decisions at once. If you can, let them have it both ways to cut down on lengthy decision-making time.

7. Accept that you are third place in their heart

Gemini loves him or herself first and foremost, and then they love their silent twin second. This means that as Gemini’s partner-in-love, you come in third place. They can seem self-involved but they always have to look out for their twin self too, so really they are very selfless.

8. Gemini is pretty noncommittal with romantic partners

It’s not that they don’t like you, but they like everyone else too. They are hard to tie down to just one person. They can be monogamously happy, but they love variety so much that it takes a very fascinating lover who attracts a lot of attention to get a Gemini to make a commitment.

9. Listen more than you speak

Of course your partner should listen to you too, but Gemini’s can’t wait to tell you all about what they learned today on their explorations. Giving your twin lover a listening ear, good eye contact, asking questions and keeping energy and enthusiasm in your tone is a priceless gift that your partner will appreciate.

Doing This ONE Thing Reduces Stress and Improves Brain Performance

May 19, 2016 by Power of Positivity

There’s a reason that they call it ‘paying’ attention. Indeed, this one thing can help you reduce stress and help your brain perform better, rather than making you pay for your effort.

Mentally, it can be exhausting to not even get much done in a work day or a day at home when you hoped to get more done than you accomplished. But you just can’t keep pushing forward when your brain stops working as well as it should.

This lack of mental clarity and the stress that not being able to finish a simple task as you should is something we’ve covered in previous articles.

Negative emotions, old ways of thinking, fears about our abilities, and too much going on in the place that we are trying to think can all interfere with our performance and mental ability. Let’s look at the one thing you need to be doing to reduce stress and improve your mental performance.

Doing This ONE Thing Reduces Stress and Improves Your Brain Performance

Spending more time, energy, and effort on a project until it is complete may seem like it will get things done faster. But it’s a bad idea to go full steam. Unless a deadline is looming, use this one thing to reduce stress and improve performance; slow down.

The more time you can devote to whatever it is you are working on, the better you will perform, in both quality and accuracy. Deliberate movement, thought and being open to receiving all of the sensory information that is coming in will help you feel calm and mentally clear.

Slowing down our movements and speech is the easiest way to start using this technique to reduce stress. By slowing your physical movement, even by a small fraction of your normal speed, you are more deliberate.

You avoid making mistakes like neglecting to notice hazards around you. You will notice yourself making fewer fumbling missteps that could end up the next viral video.

When you slow down your movements, you will then have more time to think. What is really happening is that by slowing your physical body, you give yourself more time to process incoming sensory information. Things that you didn’t pay attention to before become part of your awareness.

Learn more easily and help improve mental performance

In a study of classroom teacher interactions in the Journal of Teacher Education, researchers found that teachers typically only wait one second after asking a question before providing an answer. When a student finishes speaking, the teacher also typically ask another question within less than one second.

The scientists were able to prove that extending the wait time between the teacher asking a student a question and expecting an answer gave several measurable benefits for students:

Length of the responses increased between 300-700%
Students had time to remember the facts that back up their answers
Students made more guesses
The students asked more questions
Students proposed experiments to test theories
Students discussed topics with each other
There were fewer times when no one answered
There was less need for discipline
Students who never participated before began contributing
Unsolicited participation increased
Students reduced inflection, which is the rising vocal tone used when asking a question, in their answers, indicating increased confidence

Clearly the students felt like they would be listened to so they were more likely to speak up when the teacher slowed down to wait for answers.

Scientists noticed that teachers changed their actions with students in these ways:

Were more flexible with covering different discussion topics to encourage participation
Asked more and different questions
Had higher expectations for students

Although this study is about a classroom environment, you can imagine yourself as a student of the world slowing down to let your partner, coworkers, friends, and family think of their response to questions that you would ask them. You can also ask them to give you a moment before rushing ahead.

Multi-tasking makes your brain less capable

An Italian study at the University of Bologna found that mental resources are depleted or recovered depending on how much effort we spend making decisions on a project. We can’t keep working at maximum mental effort. That’s because we use up the total amount of mental energy that we have.

The researchers showed that mental fatigue is real, and it is worse when we are under pressure to go fast. They say that multitasking, which is multi-decision-making, results in lower performance as well as reaching the threshold of mental fatigue ‘beyond which the worker cannot avoid being exhausted.’ They recommend taking a break or leaving the workspace until you can recover your mental energy.

9 Comebacks For Dealing With Sarcastic People

May 19, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Sarcasm can be funny if you don’t take things personally, but it can also be a form of hostile bulldozing. An aggressive sarcastic person can turn words into daggers while masquerading them behind humor. Usually sarcasm comes out quickly in a way that teases or mocks the other person. If you find yourself among this type of behavior, the best thing to do is walk away. This type of personality loves a good laugh, so if you just ignore them they will stop. But, if you feel the desire to say something, then here are some ways to do just that.

9 Comebacks For Dealing With Sarcastic People

1. “Don’t let your mind wander, it’s far too little to be on its own.”

Sarcasm sometimes carries wit that’s beyond nasty. It comes out in such a way that the words and tone make the recipient it feel uneducated. There are lots of introverts who use sarcasm to deviate from their own internal issues. Let this comeback force them to think before they say something to you again and walk away.

2. “I would like to insult you back but I’m afraid you wouldn’t understand me.”

There is a difference between being funny and being sarcastic. Sarcasm forces you to think and take things personally. However, returning with this comeback is a way to disarm that person for next time. You do not need to participate in every discussion with this type of person.

3. “I don’t understand your type of craziness, but I sure admire your commitment to it.”

Sometimes a person might have a reason to get a reaction from you. Observe their manner of speaking and body language. Is there something that is triggering them off? This comeback allows you to put them back in their place. And always just walk away with a smile on your face. People who are sarcastic love to get a rise out of others.

4. “I’m afraid I can’t say much since I would be talking outside of your emotional zip code.”

Silence is golden. If you cannot say something nice, don’t say anything at all. But, sarcastic people will continue to push buttons to get a rise out of someone. Sarcasm isn’t always mean. Some people just have different sense of humors. If it’s all in fun and games then something like this comeback returns the humor.

5. “You are not as bad as people say, you are much worse.”

This comeback is a return on a nasty sarcastic one. Sometimes a sarcastic person can’t see boundaries. Something like this will stop them on their tracks and make them think if their comment was truly bordering on rudeness. Sarcasm is sometimes too much spice for one sitting. Then…walk away.

6. “Who crapped in your cheerios today?”

This is for the moody sarcastic person who can’t see how intolerable she’s being. Sometimes when we are having a bad day we tend to snap in a sarcastic tone. As a reminder of negativity, this is one of those questions that keeps the person informed that pessimism is not accepted.

7. “If you are gonna be two-faced, at least make one of them attractive.”

There’s a thin line between being mean and sarcastic. A person can be one way and sarcastically express another side of themselves. This comeback lets the person know that you are aware of their Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

8. “Remember when I asked for your opinion? Me neither.”

At times, sarcasm comes with a hefty dosage of opinions. It makes it even harder to swallow when you have not asked for a viewpoint or assumption from that person. This comeback reminds the person that their input is not necessary.

9. “Your inappropriateness knows no boundaries.”

Sarcasm can also arrive with sexual innuendos. They are uncomfortable and hard to take. Even if the person is saying something in humor when it comes with nuisance and displeasure, it is necessary to stop that person before anything further arises. Sexual sarcasm can be distasteful and ill-suited. This is one of those comments that requires that you be stern when you speak. Set your boundary before it continues.

Dr. Clifford N. Lazarus wrote an article for Psychology Today where he expresses that “sarcasm is actually hostility disguised as humor.” And then continues to state:

“Despite smiling outwardly, most people who receive sarcastic comments feel put down and usually think the sarcastic person is a jerk. Indeed, it’s not surprising that the origin of the word sarcasm derives from the Greek word “sarkazein” which literally means “to tear or strip the flesh off.” Hence, it’s no wonder that sarcasm is often preceded by the word “cutting” and that it hurts.”

When you are among someone sarcastic, listen but don’t respond immediately. Then remind that person of their intelligence and to use their wit appropriately. Relationships can suffer greatly if too much sarcasm is used. It can border on hostility and bullying. You get to decide what you tolerate in your life.

5 Things That Happen When You Suppress Your Emotions

May 19, 2016 by Power of Positivity

The emotions we show outwardly are often suppressed so that we appear more calm, but hiding how we feel can cause things to happen to our bodies. Hiding how you feel is pretty normal for us, and even more so in other cultures, but what is the health cost of stuffing emotions?

These Things Happen To Your Body When You Suppress Your Emotions

1. Memory lapses

Emotion associated with an event helps us to remember the event better. When we deny or suppress the emotion part, our brain has to resolve the decision to store the memory with the fact that we do not want to remember the emotion.

A Stanford University study showed that intentionally suppressed emotions cause impaired incidental memory while the emotion is being hidden. Memories are often processed at night, while we sleep which is believed to be one of the functions of dreams.

2. Mental fatigue

Your brain is trying to not remember the situation that caused you to have the emotion that you are trying to suppress. At the same time, you are getting new information in. Your brain is holding the memory that you wanted to forget because of the uncomfortable emotions that it brought up.

As a result, your decision to suppress your emotions has made your brain simultaneously try to remember to forget the upsetting event. What a paradox but now you’ve caused yourself to be mentally tired. Read our article on mental fatigue for some tips to reduce the brain strain.

3. You get less oxytocin

Suppressing emotions means that you are denying anger, sadness or fear and these negative emotions can often be worked out with those closest to you. Letting out your emotions on the ones you love rather than the ones who hurt you will result in relationship problems.

With your relationship suffering, you get less of the cuddle hormone oxytocin. Oxytocin reduces stress in the body by lowering your blood pressure, heart rate and rate of respiration. A hug is exactly what you need, but because you are suppressing your emotions, you push away the ones who can help you most.

4. You have bad sleep habits

Another thing that happens to your body when you suppress emotions is insomnia. Lack of good sleep can cause your brain to shut down when you need it most; on the job. A sleep deficit can cause you to make costly mistakes at work, and your boss will definitely notice. Not to mention, poor sleep habits affect all other areas of life, including relationships, physical health, and mental health.

5. Elevated blood pressure

The same Stanford study that showed that hiding emotions messes with your memory also found that suppressed emotions led to a higher rate of cardiovascular activity.

Higher heart rate, blood pressure, and rates of respiration all increase when your body is stressed and suppressing emotions is stressful to your brain and body.

(Here are 5 additional signs of suppressed emotions)

6. Weight gain

Many people who stuff their emotions down inside also stuff comfort food. This bingeing to feel better, does indeed make you feel better. Food triggers our pleasure and reward center in our brain so we do feel better.

This can create a roller coaster cycle of feeling bad, eating to feel better, and then feeling bad for allowing yourself to binge.

7. You have digestive problems

From upset stomach and ulcers to acid reflux and constipation; there are many digestive problems caused by suppressed emotions. Suppressing emotions is very similar to how your body reacts to stress.

8. Your temporal lobe is not able to do its job

The part of your brain that is in the forehead part of your head is your temporal lobe. It is responsible for stabilizing mood and since you are telling it to not pay attention to the negative emotions, it can’t work the way it is supposed to.

Rather than suppressing emotions and causing all of these problems for your body, try what don Miguel Ruiz, author of The Four Agreements says. ‘Don’t take anything personally.’ When you choose not to take anything personally, we hear someone’s words that we judge to be hurtful and we choose not to accept their judgment of ourselves because we know that we are worth more.

Speaking politely in the moment while thinking to yourself that you won’t take the words personally is a way to be socially proper while choosing to not feel angry. Mr. Ruiz says ‘Whatever happens around you, don’t take it personally’ Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves.’

9. Facial wrinkles

Concern, frustration, anger, anxiety, they all wrinkle your face when you show these feelings, but suppressing emotions causes wrinkling too. The reason? Your face is trying to conceal your natural facial expression in response to something or someone.

10. Teeth shift positions

Teeth grinding is one of the most frequent strategies that people use when they are trying to suppress their emotions. We think of someone who trying not to show the emotions of anger and frustration grinding their teeth.

Teeth grinding weakens the protective enamel coating on your teeth. Teeth grinding from suppressed emotions also causes the teeth in your mouth to shift positions and become deformed.

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5 Signs You Need to Clear Your Mind

5 Signs You Need to Clear Your Mind

1. You feel fatigued

2. You feel stuck

3. You aren’t taking good care of yourself

4. You feel frustrated

5. You feel depressed

Here are 4 signs that your overthinking might be hurting your relationship:

1. Clinging to the phone.

2. Over analyzing every moment.

3. Putting your partner through a test.

4. Assuming the worst.

In order to break the cycle, there are several things you can do:

9 Things You Need To Do If Your Partner Is A Gemini

1. Let your partner have alone time

2. Let them play with others

3. Let your partner be right

4. Make your partner a little jealous

5. Be honest about your emotions

6. Let your partner be indecisive

7. Accept that you are third place in their heart

8. Gemini is pretty noncommittal with romantic partners

9. Listen more than you speak

Doing This ONE Thing Reduces Stress and Improves Your Brain Performance

Learn more easily and help improve mental performance

Multi-tasking makes your brain less capable

9 Comebacks For Dealing With Sarcastic People

1. “Don’t let your mind wander, it’s far too little to be on its own.”

2. “I would like to insult you back but I’m afraid you wouldn’t understand me.”

3. “I don’t understand your type of craziness, but I sure admire your commitment to it.”

4. “I’m afraid I can’t say much since I would be talking outside of your emotional zip code.”

5. “You are not as bad as people say, you are much worse.”

6. “Who crapped in your cheerios today?”

7. “If you are gonna be two-faced, at least make one of them attractive.”

8. “Remember when I asked for your opinion? Me neither.”

9. “Your inappropriateness knows no boundaries.”

These Things Happen To Your Body When You Suppress Your Emotions

1. Memory lapses

2. Mental fatigue

3. You get less oxytocin

4. You have bad sleep habits

5. Elevated blood pressure

(Here are 5 additional signs of suppressed emotions)

6. Weight gain

7. You have digestive problems

8. Your temporal lobe is not able to do its job

9. Facial wrinkles

10. Teeth shift positions

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