6 Ways To Find Your Way to Your Partner’s Heart

May 16, 2016 by Power of Positivity

The heart muscle sends ripples of pumping joy out to your toes and fingers whenever you think of your beloved; if only you could find the way to your partner’s heart, you know they would feel the same.

6 Ways To Find Your Way to Your Partner’s Heart

They say that a man’s stomach is the way to his heart, but they also say that all men want to be respected and all women want to be loved. It is more likely true that every single one of us just wants to be loved and respected. Let’s look at the 6 ways that you can find your way to your partner’s heart.

1. Be slightly unavailable

This is not a suggestion to stray from your romantic partner, this is an important part of making yourself desirable to your mate. If you are always there, hanging on your partner’s every word, with no dreams or pursuits of your own, you are just a passive tagalong in your relationship.

Find your way to your partner’s heart by taking an active role in your well-being. Do the things that you love, even if your partner doesn’t. You supporting your own interests is how you show yourself love, and that makes you more alluring to your partner.

2. Put yourself first

Who is more likely to be someone that you would care about, a person with ambition, or someone without? No one loves a doormat, so make sure that your goals remain your priority. In a perfect world, with a perfect soulmate, your goals would be the same.

Make your partner aware that you plan to pursue your dreams, and that you are not willing to sacrifice that just to earn a place in your partner’s heart. Be willing to adjust the timeframe, or how specifically you will reach your goal to fit with your partner’s plans. Don’t let go of your passion for your partner.

When you prioritize your own plans first, you reaffirm your determination to your partner. That passion, drive, and self-love makes you an object of desire and will help you find your way to your partner’s heart.

3. Ask for a favor

Strangely enough, a psychological study showed that doing a favor for someone makes you like them more. It seems that our brain justifies that fact that we are willing to help this person by reasoning that we must like them.

So you can use this fact to your advantage to find your way to your partner’s heart. Never take advantage, but ask your partner to do little things for you to help you.

4. Learn your partner’s love language

Each of us gives and receives love a little differently. Pay close attention to what your partner likes. According to Gary Chapman, author of the 5 Love Languages, there are 5 ways in which we prefer to give and receive love; Tasteful clothes or fine gifts, sensual touch and closeness, communication with positive words of love and encouragement, spending time, or giving to others.

5. Praise your parents’ relationship to your partner

It makes sense, our experience with close, loving relationships starts with our parents. If your parents had a successful, happy relationship, we think that we can also be successful in love.

Researchers at the University of Massachusetts studying relationship lessons and attitudes of optimism vs. pessimism found that your parents’ happiness or divorce in their relationship predicts your attitude about marriage.

Even if your parents’ marriage was a disaster, make it sound rosy when you tell your partner about your childhood with your happy parents. Doubt about your genetic ability to maintain a relationship is not a good way to find your way to your partner’s heart.

Same for your partner, tell them that their horror stories about their parents’ relationship just show how much their parents cared, and had good intentions of raising a resilient adult. Putting a positive perspective on it helps heal emotional wounds too.

6. Help your partner to heal their heart

Your partner hasn’t opened their heart to you yet and it might mean your beloved has had emotional pain in their past, it is possible that in order for you to find your way to your partner’s heart, you have to rebuild it first.

Researchers studying forgiveness found that you may actually benefit from getting counseling to forgive someone who has wronged you. When participants who had been dumped in a relationship went to counseling sessions for a 6-week forgiveness program their mental health improved more and they had more forgiveness toward their ex than the control group did.

Maybe your partner would benefit from talking to a counselor about it. Counseling can be found confidentially online and in apps now too. If your partner won’t try a counselor, get them to talk it through with you so they can forgive their ex and bring you completely into their heart.

11 Quotes To Remember When You Feel Exhausted

May 16, 2016 by Power of Positivity

There’s no doubt about it – this life can get pretty tiring after a while. With so many responsibilities we must take care of, we can easily become exhausted if we don’t take time for ourselves. We have kids to take care of, jobs to get to, a house to clean up, errands to run, and so much more, in addition to our minds that can sometimes get the best of us. At times, life can seem like a battlefield, but the next time you feel exhausted, just keep the following 11 quotes in mind to help you keep going.

11 Quotes To Remember When You Feel Exhausted

1. “Anxiety happens when you think you have to figure out everything all at once. Breathe. You’re strong. You got this. Take it day by day.” – Karen Salmansohn

2. Do not confuse my bad days as a sign of weakness. Those are the days I am actually fighting my hardest.

3. The biggest wall you’ve gotta climb is the one you build in your mind.

4. Stop letting it bother you, just let it go. Your mind can only take so much.

5. Today I refuse to stress myself out about things I cannot control or change.

6. Sometimes you don’t realize the weight of something you’ve been carrying until you feel the weight of its release.

7. Sometimes you just need to disconnect and enjoy your own company.

8. The souls that have seen the darkest days can shine the brightest light. Keep going!

9. When life gives you a hundred reasons to break down and cry, show life that you have a million reasons to smile and laugh.

10. Stop worrying about what can go wrong, and get excited about what can go right.

11. Set a goal that makes you want to jump out of bed in the morning.

Here are a few tips to help you fight exhaustion and get your energy levels up:

1. EAT BETTER IF YOU FEEL EXHAUSTED.

It’s hard to be happy when your body isn’t feeling its best. In fact, undernourishment can cause fatigue. So if want to start feeling better immediately, all you have to do is make small changes to the type of fuel you use. The advice is simple, and it’s to eat more natural, whole foods and less processed ones. Drink water and green tea and fewer sodas and energy drinks. It doesn’t have to be hard or an all-or-nothing proposition to create new habits. Start by adding one good food and eliminating one bad.

2. EXERCISE REGULARLY.

Now that you’re getting up early and eating better, what are you going to do with the extra time? Move. Adding more movement into our day is an important part of being happy. Keeping the body active as it goes through life helps to make sure your life is active well into its golden years. As with any habits, start small and then continue to add activities that you enjoy that also help you break a sweat.

3. SLEEP MORE.

There is no doubt that sleep affects our happiness. We are fooling ourselves when we think surviving on four hours of sleep a night is what we need to do to achieve our big goals. Good sleep helps us be more productive and make better decisions, and those are things to be happy about.

4. ACCEPT THAT WHICH YOU CAN’T CONTROL.

Happiness can’t exist in the midst of worry and regret. Let go of the things you can’t control, while saving your energy for the things you can. There’s no point in getting upset at the traffic that makes you late. Adopting habits such as leaving the house ten minutes earlier, though, is something you can control. Focus on the solution, not the problem and watch your attitude shift.

5. EVALUATE YOUR ROUTINES WHEN YOU’RE EXHAUSTED.

There is a love-hate relationship with the routines of our day. Some routines are necessary for efficiency, but too many routines may prevent us from living in the moment. It’s well-known that one of the best ways to increase our happiness is to be more mindful. The goal here is to create a balance between habits/routines and embracing the moment. Wake-up and bed-time routines help our body shift from one state to another, so those are helpful. But the routine of driving to work may prevent us from an opportunity to learn, observe and establish our mood for the day. Let’s evaluate our habits and routines and see where we can bring more mindfulness into the day.

If You Have Trouble Getting Motivated, This May Be Why.

May 16, 2016 by Power of Positivity

You just can’t get motivated to do what needs to be done, and the reason why might not be obvious. If only you had the energy, drive and determination to get up and get moving, you’d be set, but it’s nowhere to be found.

You are definitely not alone. People who struggle with motivation find that although they have the desire to take action, their body and brain aren’t making any effort.

Breaking this feeling of being stuck and not being able to get motivated to do anything is the key to changing your life, if you can find a way to just do it. Let’s look at why you can’t get motivated and what you can do about it.

If You Feel Like You Can’t Get Motivated, This May Be Why

Ask yourself these questions about your recent lack of motivation:

Is your gut telling you that something is wrong?
Are you literally having digestive problems lately?
Do you feel out of control and powerless?
Are you engaging in risky or self-medicating behaviors?
Do you lack physical energy?
Do you worry about how others see you?

This may sound like a strange set of questions to ask yourself regarding your lack of motivation but it can reveal the cause of your blocked motivational energy.

If any of these symptoms sounds familiar, you might not be able to get up and get going due to a blocked chakra. Specifically, your solar plexus chakra is blocked and is not allowing energy to flow.

The good news is that the blockage is a spiritual, psychological, or metaphysical one. This means you can heal this energy block and get your motivation back again.

Energy blockage

The unseen flow of energy surrounding and penetrating your body is your aura. An ancient Ayurvedic healing theory says that your energy flows like a force that provides energy to your organs through 7 energy centers or chakras.

These chakras send energy from the earth under your feet through your body’s 7 centers in an upward spiral beginning at your tailbone and ending at crown of your head.

When there is a blockage in your solar plexus chakra, above your belly button, you can’t get motivated. You feel tired, mentally drained, and you feel less than yourself. If you are giving mental and physical energy to something that is not helping you, then chose to stop now.

Spinning your wheels is a metaphor that people use when they just can’t get past a point at which they are stuck. A spinning chakra sends energy no where; usually the chakra will spin in a spiral, sending energy to your higher chakras. When you are blocked, you cannot receive the information from your gut in your brain.

How you can remove the blocked energy

Working with opening the chakra of the solar plexus is an emotional process. The solar plexus is the gut chakra. This is exactly the energy center that we are referring to when we say ‘Trust your gut.’

Your instincts have been off lately, which is causing you to fail to act out of fear. You might have recently had a setback, or discovered that you couldn’t trust someone that you thought you could. Something happened that caused you to stop listening to your gut.

Begin the process of healing your solar plexus chakra by seeing with open eyes, heart and mind what is hurting your feelings right now. Ask yourself these questions:

What is hurting or frustrating me the most right now? Say it aloud.
What part of your life is not the way you want it to be?
Why are you continuing to allow this circumstance to continue in a way that is causing you frustration and anxiety?
Why have you not decided to act yet?
When will you decide to act?
Why not now?
What other excuses are you making to keep from making progress?
Why are you making excuses when all you need to do is acknowledge that you have failed to act, decide to act, and take a step forward?

Other reasons you can’t get motivated

A balanced solar plexus chakra should help you to feel self-confident, in control, and energized. If you’re still feeling like you can’t get motivated, evaluate whether or not you might be sabotaging yourself by creating the blockage.

In psychology, many cures are focused on becoming mindful of the small ways in which we might be setting ourselves up for failure rather than for success. Ask yourself what else you have not tried to remove any obstacles to succeeding with getting motivated.

For example, you may be secretly afraid of failure or afraid of success. Not being able to get motivated might mean that you prefer to stay put rather than go forward into an unknown. Do you fear the hurt of failing? Decide not to be afraid.

7 Things That Can Make Or Break Your Relationship

May 16, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Trying to make a lasting romance with your soulmate is a wonderful thing to work toward. To do it, you will need to know about certain things that can tip the scales one way or the other.

7 Things That Can Make or Break Your Relationship

1. Listening (or a lack thereof)

Listening sounds easy, but it is harder than you think. The more you can practice active listening and not just waiting for your turn to speak, the better off your relationship can be.

Listening is the equivalent of showing respect for your partner. Making an effort to talk to your partner with your bodies facing each other, making eye contact, picking up on body language, gestures and facial expressions can really make or break your relationship.

Communication is the foundation for a trusting relationship and trust can make or break your relationship. How you handle your relationships with others outside of the relationship is also important to trust.

2. Working together

In a perfect world, you and your partner would always have the same goals and you would be able to work together to achieve your dreams and those of your partner. It’s not likely, although you are probably both seeking to move in the same direction or you wouldn’t be together.

Related article: 4 Habits of Couples That Last

To test what can make or break your relationship, try tackling a project together. For example, assemble some bedroom furniture with your partner. See if you communicate well over what tools to hand each other, what part needs to go where, how to interpret the instructions, and if you can arrive at a successful end project. Did you argue over small things? Which one of you was more likely to get frustrated quicker? Which one of you blamed the other person?

Use this team project as a learning experience for your relationship. What can you do differently to improve communication? How can you manage frustration better next time? How can taking accountability help your relationship?

3. Mutual respect

No one deserves to be treated with disrespect. Even a single moment of being treated poorly by your partner can make or break your relationship. If an insult is thrown by you, recognize your mistake and apologize. Resolve to avoid using hurtful language in the future.

Was it your partner who showed disrespect toward you? You need to speak up for yourself right away. Forget the ‘I feel’ language and go straight to what you prefer to hear from your partner in the future. Say ‘I need you to use respectful language with me.’

4. Balance

Not feeling like your partner and you are on a level playing field can feel unfair. Each person should have a say in the decisions that affect both of you. If your partner is power-hungry, it can make or break your relationship.

In romantic relationships, usually the highest income earner has the power in the relationship, and traditionally the men are the higher income earners. But that doesn’t mean that the men with the power can’t help their female partners. Researchers found that ‘feminist men are important for women’s relationship health. In each study, women reported greater relationship quality, equality, and stability to the extent they perceived their partner to be a feminist; they also reported greater sexual satisfaction .’

5. Intimacy

Look, no one is wishing they had less sex. It is highly unlikely that you and your partner are overdoing it, so let’s add more intimacy. Intimacy is not all about having sex, although forgetting that a man’s sex-drive is higher than that for most women would be a mistake.

Related article: 10 Reasons To Have Sex Daily

Frequent intimate touching like kissing, hugging, cuddling, caressing and massaging is important to many women. For men, just sex is usually all they need because the touching is included with the act. Women like the same amount of touching, just spread over the whole day.

6. Relationships outside your relationship.

Treating your partnership as a priority, or not, can really make or break your relationship. Your respect for your relationship should be equal to the respect that you would want for yourself.

Do not speak ill of your partner to others. If you have problems, your partner is the one you should be talking to about it. If you can’t talk with them yet, ask yourself why. Your partner should be the one that you can open up to.

You should not be spending more time with another person or engaging in conversation or actions that imply that you are looking for a different romantic partner.

7. Putting fun in the less-than-fun

Making a game or a joke out of everything can be annoying, but playful teasing, poking fun in a gentle way at your partner, or making an inside joke can make a grumpy afternoon into a playful time.

Making an effort to inject fun into special moments with your partner will be worth the time and can make or break how happy you both feel in your relationship.

10 Things You’ll Only Understand If You’re A Gemini

May 15, 2016 by Power of Positivity

The children born May 21 to June 20 understand that being the sign of the twins, Gemini, can be the most outrageous fun, and burdensome at the same time. At times it’s as though you are literally carrying your twin self around with you.

Gemini is ruled by the planet Mercury and is an air sign, which means that you think you know everything. It’s okay, you are really good at convincing others that you know everything too.

Let’s look at 10 other things that you’ll only understand if you’re a Gemini.

10 Things You’ll Only Understand If You’re A Gemini

1. Your shadow self is real

As the astrological sign represented by the twins, Gemini is a sign with multiple personalities. You can be Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde depending on the situation.

2. Outgoing is not something you have to work at being

In our previous article ‘7 Things You Need To Know About Being Friends With a Gemini’ we told you that ‘Researchers confirmed ‘the astrological proposition that people born with the sun in a positive sign (Aries, Gemini, Leo, Libra, Sagittarius, Aquarius) are extroverted.’

As an outgoing person, you are open and welcoming to people of all kinds. Well, maybe not negative people, or boring people, or people with no style, unless they let you make them over.

3. You are uniquely you

You love being stylish but would never be happy with the latest look for a single designer. One of the things you’ll only understand if you’re a Gemini is that looking like anyone else is such a faux pas to you that you accessorize to the max.

4. Finishing things is not something you are good at

Of course, you can finish that project that you started three weeks ago, you just lost your drive about halfway through it. Maybe your Gemini twin self will finish it for you one of these days, but no one should be expecting that the project will be done by a certain day or time, that’s for sure.

5. Gemini is not hyper, they’re bored

Gemini has a reputation for being nervously twitchy and unable to sit still for very long. You have a high amount of energy, which others may call nervousness, but that you know is really your desire for something NEW NOW that keeps you from being patient.

You are already boring to Gemini if you aren’t able to be changeable, flexible, able to switch topics quickly, have high energy and enthusiasm, and are ready for a spontaneous dance party to break out at any moment.

6. Gemini is enchanting and attracts many lovers

Oh, let’s face it, you are the star of the show at any party or event, with your elegant style and effortless charisma. Gemini is desirable for their ability to stimulate all of your senses, and arouse your mind, emotions, and energy all at once.

A Gemini lover is unforgettable. You are up to any challenge that your lover might have for you in bed and twins love variety. Really, your lover is getting to have a three-way with you since you are such a dual personality.

7. Geminis have sexy brains

You may only understand this if you’re a Gemini but your thirst for knowledge is pretty unquenchable. You LOVE learning; about people, foreign countries, cultures, theories, beliefs, etc. You’re more likely to travel than almost any other zodiac sign because you are seeking knowledge.

8. Geminis are best in a cage-free environment

You do not like being tied down, pinned down, caged up, holed up, hiding out, etc. Being out there in the world, learning, seeing, talking, and experiencing things is what Gemini is all about. Unless you’re in one of your moods. Then your twin will talk you into going out anyway.

9. You are more socially flexible than other people you know

One of the benefits of being a Gemini is to be able to change who you are to fit the time, place, and people you are with. This flexibility of persona makes you adaptable to any social situation. You make friends with people easily, but you hate fake people.

10. You are comfortable with conflict

Others may shy away from touchy subjects, debates, or emotional issues, but not Gemini. You’ll only understand that conflict is just a talk about a topic and that it’s nothing to get upset about if you’re a Gemini.

Of course, Gemini also will cut you off when you are speaking about something depressing to talk about him or herself, but at least your Gemini friend will ask the deep questions that other people are afraid to. Gemini understands pain but rarely shows it on the outside.

5 Things Highly Intelligent People Do Differently

May 15, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Sadly, it seems that society doesn’t value true intelligence in these times, as it tends to neglect anything that requires critical thinking and any form of higher knowledge. The intelligent have great ideas, but they often are ignored in favor of those with the ability to entertain and distract us from what’s really going on. Those with high levels of intelligent couldn’t be bothered with the news and entertainment of today, and instead value deep contemplation and reflection in order to gain perspective and new ideas.

Intelligence is quite rare today, and isn’t practiced and applied like it used to be. However, you can easily adopt the habits of these sorts of people if you’d like to increase your intelligence.

Here are 5 things highly intelligent people do differently:

“Action is the real measure of intelligence.” – Napoleon Hill

1. They question mainstream ideals.

Intelligent people don’t just believe everything they hear; they question tradition, beliefs, morals, the entire system we live in, and basically every sort of idea in existence.

They don’t just jump from bandwagon to bandwagon. Instead, they apply critical thinking skills and delve deeply into issues before forming an opinion. They most certainly don’t believe everything they hear on the news, or from any authority figure. Highly intelligent people see through the lies and don’t just allow people to push them around or back them into a corner. Dogma means nothing to them – they think what they want to and follow their own path in life.

2. Intelligent people don’t worship idols.

Highly intelligent people also don’t see anyone as a guru or master – they know that they can find all the knowledge they seek within. Though they understand that everyone can teach something in life, they do not possess knowledge on every single subject. No one knows all the answers, so therefore, highly intelligent people don’t regard anyone as an idol. They look at themselves as their own personal guru, with the wisdom and strength to get them through any situation.

3. They constantly are on the search for knowledge.

Highly intelligent people never feel quite content with what they know – they always desire to learn more and experience more. They enjoy expanding their mind and engaging in intelligent conversation whenever possible. Intelligent people have an addiction to and fascination with knowledge – they don’t allow themselves to become complacent, as this will make their minds stagnant and stale. They realize that knowledge truly is power, so they like to arm themselves with as much mental ammunition as possible.

4. Intelligent people turn their thoughts into action.

Following up on the quote we began this article with, highly intelligent people know that thoughts and ideas mean nothing without action. They understand that to get anywhere in life, you must apply what you know into actionable steps. The thoughts inside your head do no good if you don’t share them with others and use them in order to provide something for this world, so intelligent people try to see where they can apply their knowledge.

They don’t allow anything to get in their way of using their knowledge to better this planet somehow, and enjoy conjuring up new plans in order to achieve their goals.

5. They value quiet reflection.

More than anything else, highly intelligent people know the value in sitting quietly with oneself. This world moves so fast and doesn’t seem to put any emphasis on “being.” We all must do, work, produce, act, move, and earn. We don’t spend enough time thinking, being, feeling, living, loving, and reflecting. Therefore, highly intelligent people spend as much time as possible with themselves and their thoughts, as they know the true power of going deep within for answers.

Even if they don’t want answers in the moment, highly intelligent people still see the importance of spending time alone away from all the noise in the world. that’s because this helps one to destress and rejuvenate the mind, body, and soul.

Highly intelligent people have a great relationship with themselves. Indeed, they know that this relationship forms the basis for everything else in their lives.

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6 Ways To Find Your Way to Your Partner’s Heart