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What Does Your Birth Order Reveal About Your Personality?

May 21, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Your siblings and you were always fighting over who was the favorite. But you might all like to learn how your birth order affects your personality. Even only children have different perspectives on the world than the rest of us.

The firstborn, middle child, or the youngest, the order that you arrived into your family can make a difference in how you feel about your role in the larger family of our society. How you spent the early years of your childhood makes a difference in how you developed into yourself.

In this article, we will look at how birth order, from only child to the last born child, affects your personality.

How Birth Order Affects Your Personality

Researchers at the University of Michigan who studied intellectual development and birth order found that IQ was higher for the firstborn children typically. There was less difference in IQ between triplets and twins as you might imagine. Researchers also showed that the gap in IQ from firstborn to second decreased with the amount of time between children. For example, children spaced two years apart had less difference in IQ than those born one year apart.

The scientists explain the intelligence differences this way; imagine your parents giving one child all of their attention and creating a stimulating environment for them to learn and grow. By the time the second child comes, even if the parents try to keep everything the same, the amount of attention they can give each child is reduced.

The Only Child’s Personality

Only children get the best of what their parents can give them because they don’t have to share attention with others. Only children may be thought of as being lonely, but they are very independently minded and are self-sufficient.

Researchers who studied 800,000 participants found that verbal skills were higher for children in smaller family sizes and for first-born children. As the one and only, first-born children get all the help with early language skills that they could possibly need.

An only child might feel some pressure because they have the sole responsibility for carrying on the family genes. As an only child, your personality tends to be spoiled. You usually get what you want. However, you are more than capable of either getting it for yourself or pouting to someone until you get it.

The Firstborn

As the eldest child, you had the responsibility of looking out for your younger brothers or sisters, but that doesn’t mean that you didn’t also torture your siblings every chance you got. As the oldest, you were taller and stronger, after all. You took the toys you wanted and the food you wanted from the others.

There is evidence that firstborn children grow up to make more money and we have already said that they have a higher IQ and verbal skills than their younger siblings. Again, this is about your parents giving you everything until child #2 came along.

You may have some unresolved issues with your siblings because you may see them as having stolen some of your limelight from Mom and Dad. It’s OK because your siblings might still resent you for getting the best of everything.

The Middle Child

As the go-between for your older and younger siblings, you had to play the role of the negotiator. You are really good at keeping the peace and arguing to get what you want.

You didn’t get as much attention as the eldest or youngest. You’re comfortable speaking up for yourself because you had to. You also are better at taking care of yourself and are more independent than your siblings.

Yes, you know how to share. In fact, you might think you’d be tired of it, but middle children seem to enjoy the community of family and a large group of friends around them. Middle children have excellent social skills, can typically manage emotions well, and pick up on subtle signals from people easily.

The Youngest Child’s Personality

You poor thing; you had to wear all of the hand-me-down clothes and play with all of the hand-me-down toys from your brothers or sisters. Besides that, you got picked on, pushed around, and were always accused of ‘tattling’ on your siblings.

You cried tears over toys taken away from you and what seemed like unfair treatment. But all those tears made it possible for you to appreciate when you did have a new toy or something to call your own.

You are very charismatic and outgoing, partly because you had to speak over your siblings to make your voice heard. Mom and Dad were more confident parents by the time they had you. As a result, you might feel that they did not care about your childhood milestones like they did for your older brothers and sisters.

(C) Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

5 Things To Remember When You Doubt Yourself

May 21, 2016 by Power of Positivity

We all have limitations, but when you’re facing severe self-doubt you might be distorting the reality of your actual abilities. Some things are probably unattainable for you, but you need to remember that the number of them is fewer than you think.

Self-doubt is being uncertain about your ability to do something or even being unsure about your ability to do it well. When you lack the confidence to do what you either need or want to do, you can feel stuck. In this article, we will look at 5 things to remember when you are faced with self-doubt.

5 Things to Remember When Faced With Self-Doubt

Self-doubt is perfectly normal. Most of us are less than 100% confident all of the time. Even Brown University Philosopher David Christensen wonders if an ideally rational and intelligent person would be able to avoid self-doubt. Being uncertain, and trying anyway, is kind of what makes us human.

Then again, people confident in their intellect are usually not competent or well-accepted socially. Nobody likes a smarty-pants who is right all the time. Think of the social awkwardness yet righteous insistence of TV’s Sheldon Cooper, the smart-but-anxious character of The Big Bang Theory.

If your fears and doubts are limiting your ability to thrive in your life, now there’s something you need to do about it. When you are holding yourself back from trying due to fear of failure there are 5 things you need to remember when self-doubt creeps in.

1. You are more likely to believe people who lead you to doubt yourself

Do you think you might pick up on doubt signals from someone else? When you speak, do you notice that the listener’s facial expressions make it look like they disagree with you? When faced with self-doubt, it can be challenging to remember that not everything someone else says about your capabilities or their facial expressions is a negative statement about you.

Researchers at The Ohio State University studying self-doubt found that they could introduce doubt in a situation, and those with lower self-esteem would be more likely to question their own abilities. When you have self-doubt, you must doubt your ability to judge someone else’s opinion of you too.

Think of the few people you trust who you believe would give you an honest, fair opinion of your skills. To check your self-doubt, ask one of these people to give it to you straight. If the opinion comes from someone else, remind yourself that this person’s opinion is not valuable to you.

2. You are more sensitive to cues that reinforce your self-doubt

The scientists at The Ohio State University say ‘Cues that provoke feelings of self-doubt may be more readily noticed by high-self-doubt individuals, who are particularly sensitive to such cues, than by low-self-doubt individuals, who are not.’ You are likely to be taking a lot of words personally.

They found ‘evidence that self-doubt is implicated in behavioral strategies (e.g., self-handicapping) that are designed to protect self-esteem but that do so at the cost of sustaining self-doubt.’ In other words, people who doubt themselves might sabotage themselves so they are prevented from failure, which would hurt their self-esteem even more. You already doubt yourself plenty, so there’s no reason to add to your pile of evidence by failing even to try to succeed.

3. You may have missed opportunities, but there will be more

Even if you passed up the chance to do something because you were faced with self-doubt, you could be sure that you will have another chance. Life is filled with second chances. Even the IRS lets you file an extension, after all.

From missing the chance to tell someone we love them to take a chance on skydiving, you can always decide to do it later anyway. When you’re faced with self-doubt, remind yourself that you can choose to try whenever you’re ready.

4. Conquering self-doubt is about changing your thought judgments

When you doubt yourself, you are engaging in meta-cognitive thinking. For example, let’s say that you doubt your ability to sing. You have judged yourself to be a bad singer based on whatever evidence you have.

To resolve your feelings of self-doubt, remember 8 different times that you sang and felt good about how your voice sounded to you, how you felt when the music expressed your emotions and the sensations in your body while that was happening.

Researchers in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin also found that people with lower self-esteem had difficulty remembering times when they had previously performed well. If you can try to focus on remembering times when you were confident, you will be more likely to convince yourself to be brave.

If You See Spiders Often, This May Be Why

May 21, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Whenever something shows up repetitively in your life, you should take this as a signal from the universe. It might signal that you must learn some important lessons or grow in certain areas. Animal guides such as spiders act as messengers delivering vital messages from beyond. Indeed, they show us where we can improve and what we can learn. Having a spider show up repeatedly means that you either need to learn patience and get in better touch with your creative energy.

Spiders have incredible patience and are masters of complexity in the way they weave their webs. Similarly, the spider can teach you to use your skills in order to create a beautiful masterpiece, and to not cut corners in life to get ahead. This spirit animal wants you to become more receptive to new skills and your own emotions. Additionally, it helps you connect with the darker side of yourself in order to keep growing as a person. Spiders weave their own way through life, and they want you to do the same. Let’s look at some more important messages the spider wants you to receive.

IF YOU SEE SPIDERS OFTEN, THIS IS WHAT IT MEANS

To give you an idea of how different cultures regard spiders, we’ll delve into a few common beliefs about these complex, beautiful creatures. Many cultures hold spiders in high regard for their amazing ability to create intricate, delicate masterpieces that are nothing short of a miracle. If you recognize the spider as your spirit animal, you probably have a knack for creativity and have an ability to stay in tune with your intuitive side. The spider symbolizes creation and beauty. In several traditions, spiders symbolize the Mother and the Divine Feminine. In Ancient Egypt, the spider represented the goddess of the Divine Mother, Neith. And in some American Indian tribes, the spider symbolizes the creator of the world, and therefore, is held in high regard for its feminine energy.
The spider might also want you to use more patience in your life regarding a project or task you’ve been working on. Spiders use extreme patience in order to weave their webs. So the spider can teach you to increase your awareness and focus in life. Spiders take time to create their webs, and don’t rush through it. Similarly, they can teach you to slow down, use precision, and take your time to create things in life. Instead of rushing through and coming to conclusions quickly, the spider invites you to look at situations from different angles.
Just as the spider weaves her web, she wants you to learn to use all aspects of your life and integrate them into the whole. When the spider appears in your life, it can show you to utilize many different pieces of your story into the puzzle, and see yourself through many angles in order to become a more whole version of yourself.The spider invites you to contemplate life on a deeper level, and slow down to gain perspective. Spiders are masters of perception. So they want you to look at life through different lenses so that you can solve problems appropriately. This beautiful creature wants you to weave your own web in life, and create your own story based on the experiences you’ve had and the different perspectives you’ve gained.
If the spider appears in your life, this means he or she wants you to examine your shadow self more closely. We can learn many important lessons from the darker parts of ourselves, and this can allow important issues to come to light. Many people fear spiders, so if we look at what this means emotionally, we can see that spiders have an association with the darker side of life. Spiders invite you to look more closely at your personality and see which parts you haven’t come to terms with yet. In other words, do you feel insecure about what others say about you? Do you not like certain parts of yourself? The spider wants you to come to peace with these aspects of yourself, and bring the darkness into the light.The spider doesn’t necessarily mean negativity and fear, but you might interpret it that way. The spider can give off feelings of unease or insecurity. Whenever your spirit animal evokes these feelings within yourself, you need to examine your life more closely and see where you can improve. Look into your personal feelings and see what makes you feel unhappy, insecure, depressed, or any other negative emotion. Where these feelings take you is where your personal work begins.

As with any other animal totem, spiders will show up the moment you need a sign from beyond. This spirit animal will guide you to continue down the right path in life. The spider represents strong feminine energy, creativity, patience, and strength. It also invites you to become more receptive and intuitive, and rely on your unique gifts to get you ahead in life. Don’t fear the spider – embrace it, and it will teach you many valuable lessons on your personal journey.

5 Signs You Need to Clear Your Mind

May 20, 2016 by Power of Positivity

When you are unable to keep your attention directed at a person or an activity for the needed length of time, it’s just one of the signs that you need to clear your mind right now.

Functioning in your day without a clear mind is like playing the role of a puppet. The less you are mentally present in your body, the less you see, hear, feel and care about the world around you. You are a shell of a person moving and acting without feeling, sensing or truly being.

In this article, we will cover 5 signs that you need to clear your mind, as well as some techniques to help you be more present and focused.

5 Signs You Need to Clear Your Mind

1. You feel fatigued

A lack of energy is common for those who need mental clarity. The energy that you need to get through your day is blocked by a mental, emotional, or metaphysical block and you need to remove it. In our recent article If You Feel Like You Can’t Get Motivated, This May Be Why, we talked about the solar plexus chakra and how to remove an energy blockage.

2. You feel stuck

Not making any progress lately? Not able to do what you want to do? When you lack mental clarity, you feel stuck, like you are literally unable to go out and do what you want to do.

The blockage is most likely either a mental one or an emotional one. You can choose to hold on to the false thoughts that you have and stay in a mental fog or you can challenge your thinking and escape from the prison of your mind.

When we are stuck emotionally, we have feelings of regret, sadness, anxiety, fear, frustration and so on that are keeping us in one place. Find a healthy way to express how you feel by writing in a journal, being creative with art, or even working physically in your garden.

Getting outside has been shown to reduce stress and directed attention fatigue (DAF). Directed attention fatigue is what happens when you use your brain too long for a specific task. Once you find a healthy outlet for your mental or emotional blockage, you should regain mental clarity quickly.

3. You aren’t taking good care of yourself

From drinking too much to not brushing your teeth, to risky sexual behavior, lacking mental clarity usually means that you are also engaging in hurtful behavior toward yourself. You aren’t showing yourself the love right now, and the rest of us can tell because your hygiene is suffering.

You used to look sharp, clean, and well-put-together every day, but lately, you look like you dragged yourself out the door. Good self-care is also self-love. To give yourself love, you need to have mental clarity and be focused on the present moment.

Give yourself the gift of excellent self-care. A massage or pedicure, healthy, heart-warming food, joyful movement, and listening to soothing music can help enhance mental clarity.

Researchers studying mental clarity and music found that music could affect the listener’s physiological and psychological state significantly. When you engage in self-loving behavior, you experience the love that you give to yourself in the present moment. You have to have the mental clarity to give love.

4. You feel frustrated

Anger is welling up inside you. You feel so frustrated at being blocked that you have a short fuse with people lately. Everything is irritating to you.

Anger is a sign of a lack of mental clarity because the angry person has allowed their mood to become negative rather than maintaining a focus on the task that they were working on. A negative Words have the power to hurt when you take them personally. Remind yourself of the previous times that you were able to handle frustration calmly and gracefully. Practice by visualizing yourself handling this with grace too.

5. You feel depressed

Sadness or even feeling a lack of energy or desire to act is a sign that you need mental clarity. Depression can be scary because the person who is suffering has no desire to help themselves and their depressed mood often drives others away.

If you know someone or suffer from depression, the hardest thing you can do is ask for help, but please do ask someone for help now, before you cause harm to yourself. Depression is a downward spiral that you can climb out of.

Seek a licensed counselor to talk about your feelings. You can find them online now so getting help privately is easier than ever. Having an outlet for your emotions in the form of conversation with a stranger is sometimes exactly what you need. Sunshine, exercise, lemon water and a favorite meal might do the trick, although you may need to ask a friend to force you to do these things.

4 Signs Overthinking Is Hurting Your Relationship

May 20, 2016 by Power of Positivity

We carry past issues into new relationships. When this happens, anxiety takes over while inducing a hefty dosage of overthinking. We fear heartache. We begin the downward spiral of panic reading into every conversation, moment, and silence.

Here are 4 signs that your overthinking might be hurting your relationship:

1. Clinging to the phone.

When we carry insecurities we try to control everything around us. Our thoughts are powerful. When our partner doesn’t call or text we begin to fear he/she has someone else. Or, we aren’t as important as we want to be. We check our phones, our messages, and every part of social media available. People are busy. They have jobs, responsibilities, and hobbies. Overthinking creates scenarios that aren’t there. When we get comfortable in relationships we don’t have to be on constant call. Step back when the anxiety appears. Ask yourself, “What has changed for me to feel this way?” Give your partner space to be his/her own person. Obsessing over a phone call creates a tremendous amount of stress.

2. Over analyzing every moment.

Have you spent a great time with your loved one and when the evening is over you begin to analyze every conversation? You begin to find fault in yourself and him/her through replaying sarcastic jokes or comments. Our egos will do anything and everything to feed on insecurities. Our worth gets questioned and you begin to feel like you are on an emotional roller coaster of untruths. You must realize that when you feel good about yourself, everyone else does too. Keeping busy during these moments of panic helps reduce the escalation of an argument while later avoiding insomnia. Take deep breaths. Go for a walk. Take yourself to a movie with a friend. Distraction distances the issue at hand.

3. Putting your partner through a test.

When you begin to question everything, you also put your relationship on a tremendous strain of stress. If you are second guessing everything he/she says you are also creating tension between the two of you. Being in a loving relationship requires trust and respect. If you have your reasons for feeling that he/she isn’t being faithful then you must tackle that issue. But, if this is based on past experiences and unhealthy patterns of obsession then you need to find a way to deal with these issues before your partner is exhausted by the behavior. Miscommunication damages relationships. Sit and express your fears without blame and judgment. The faster you share your thoughts the easier it is to let go of the obsession.

4. Assuming the worst.

Your partner is late for dinner. You’ve called his cell and he doesn’t answer. You call his office and he’s been gone for hours. You immediately believe that he is having an affair. He walks into your home and finds you sitting in hysterical sobs. You don’t let him speak. Or, you kick him out of the house. You don’t know that he’s been in a meeting. You don’t know he had a minor traffic accident. That’s because you assumed the worst before even asking. In his defense, you have not taken the time to hear him.

This happens when our minds transmit post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) from the past. If one person cheated we assume that everyone else will as well. Overthinking forces the brain to extract any scenario from past events while creating new drama. This also causes depression and high levels of anxiety. Some people begin to feel the effects immediately through migraines, upset stomachs, and heart palpitations. The body goes on the high alert mode of fight of flight.

A research study at University of California Santa Barbara reveals that overthinking can be detrimental to human performance.

“There are two kinds of memory: implicit, a form of long-term memory not requiring conscious thought and expressed by means other than words; and explicit, another kind of long-term memory formed consciously that can be described in words. Scientists consider these distinct areas of function both behaviorally and in the brain.”

The brain will react to past stimuli of long-term memory. When you find yourself overthinking and over-analyzing a present situation it is mechanically placed in the brain as a past function.

In order to break the cycle, there are several things you can do:

1. Consciously catch yourself and step out of the moment by doing something different. If you are obsessing about not getting a text, go for a hike or sit outside in nature.

2. Get creative. Inspiration cannot flow if you are overthinking. The act of letting go of things is necessary in order to create.

3. Call a friend. Talking about things releases them from the mind. When we hold on to thoughts they become catastrophic in nature. Share your concerns and fears.

4. Bring laughter into your life. Watch a comedy. Bring joy in those moments that generate stress. Laugh at yourself. It’s important to step away from the moment of anxiety and find something that gives pleasure.

Overthinking is a habit that can be re-adjusted and reworked. It’s up to you to find what’s important in your relationship. Make time to sit and talk with each other. You don’t want to lose a loving partner. Be vulnerable and be brave with one another.

9 Things You Need To Do If Your Partner Is A Gemini

May 20, 2016 by Power of Positivity

As the love interest of your Gemini partner, there are at least 9 things you need to do for your lover who is such a duality. You really got a bargain when you landed a Gemini as a partner, because it’s like a two-for-one deal.

Of course having multiple partners wrapped up in a single person can be both an extra help as well as too much to handle. So, what’s a Gemini lover to do for their partner to keep the twins tamed and terrifically happy? Keep reading to find ways to double the bliss in your Gemini romance.

9 Things You Need To Do If Your Partner Is A Gemini

Those born May 21 – June 20 are the sign of the twins, Gemini. Gemini is ruled by the planet Mercury and is an air sign. Gemini is associated with the color green and the birthstone emerald. Friends of Gemini know that they are energetic, indecisive, witty, unique, and are an intellectual sign.

1. Let your partner have alone time

Gemini almost always has nothing but good feelings, however, in those few times that they are feeling down, let them have some solitary time to work things out. Your partner enjoys reading and learning, so offer some interesting books to stimulate their imagination.

2. Let them play with others

Don’t be mad, but Gemini tends to have quite a few besties, because hey, there’s two of them to go around. Geminis tend to attract a crowd due to their natural charisma.

In our article ‘7 Things You Need To Know About Being Friends With a Gemini‘ we told you ‘Researchers confirmed ‘the astrological proposition that people born with the sun in a positive sign (Aries, Gemini, Leo, Libra, Sagittarius, Aquarius) are extroverted and those with the sun in a negative sign (Taurus, Cancer, Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn, Pisces) are introverted.’

3. Let your partner be right

Gemini loves being different from the rest, so being a naysayer comes naturally to this zodiac sign. They have to be different from you, after all. This can be one of the sign’s most frustrating facts for friends of Gemini.

4. Make your partner a little jealous

Lovers of Gemini know that they are all over the place and easily bored, but they keep you on your toes too, just like a toddler. If you’ve known your Gemini partner for a week or 10 years, by now you know that they are good-hearted but don’t seem to want to commit.

To a Gemini lover attracted to you, stay desirable yourself. If Gemini sees you as attractive and gets jealous, they will want to keep you all for themselves. They want all the best things for themselves, and who can blame them for their excellent taste in you?

5. Be honest about your emotions

Gemini is comfortable with uncomfortable emotions. They like to be honest and will ask you about things that others would sweep under the rug. As a result, your lover knows more about you than anyone else.

They don’t like negative emotions so they will try to help you turn that frown upside down fast, which is what they do for themselves too. Hiding sadness, anger or fear from one will make them distrust you because they are pretty good at picking up on subtle things that give your true feelings away.

6. Let your partner be indecisive

Gemini loves to see both sides of any decision. It’s not that they can’t make up their mind, it’s that your Gemini partner likes both decisions at once. If you can, let them have it both ways to cut down on lengthy decision-making time.

7. Accept that you are third place in their heart

Gemini loves him or herself first and foremost, and then they love their silent twin second. This means that as Gemini’s partner-in-love, you come in third place. They can seem self-involved but they always have to look out for their twin self too, so really they are very selfless.

8. Gemini is pretty noncommittal with romantic partners

It’s not that they don’t like you, but they like everyone else too. They are hard to tie down to just one person. They can be monogamously happy, but they love variety so much that it takes a very fascinating lover who attracts a lot of attention to get a Gemini to make a commitment.

9. Listen more than you speak

Of course your partner should listen to you too, but Gemini’s can’t wait to tell you all about what they learned today on their explorations. Giving your twin lover a listening ear, good eye contact, asking questions and keeping energy and enthusiasm in your tone is a priceless gift that your partner will appreciate.

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How Birth Order Affects Your Personality

The Only Child’s Personality

The Firstborn

The Middle Child

The Youngest Child’s Personality

(C) Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

5 Things to Remember When Faced With Self-Doubt

1. You are more likely to believe people who lead you to doubt yourself

2. You are more sensitive to cues that reinforce your self-doubt

3. You may have missed opportunities, but there will be more

4. Conquering self-doubt is about changing your thought judgments

IF YOU SEE SPIDERS OFTEN, THIS IS WHAT IT MEANS

5 Signs You Need to Clear Your Mind

1. You feel fatigued

2. You feel stuck

3. You aren’t taking good care of yourself

4. You feel frustrated

5. You feel depressed

Here are 4 signs that your overthinking might be hurting your relationship:

1. Clinging to the phone.

2. Over analyzing every moment.

3. Putting your partner through a test.

4. Assuming the worst.

In order to break the cycle, there are several things you can do:

9 Things You Need To Do If Your Partner Is A Gemini

1. Let your partner have alone time

2. Let them play with others

3. Let your partner be right

4. Make your partner a little jealous

5. Be honest about your emotions

6. Let your partner be indecisive

7. Accept that you are third place in their heart

8. Gemini is pretty noncommittal with romantic partners

9. Listen more than you speak

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