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9 Things You Need To Do If Your Partner Is A Gemini

May 20, 2016 by Power of Positivity

As the love interest of your Gemini partner, there are at least 9 things you need to do for your lover who is such a duality. You really got a bargain when you landed a Gemini as a partner, because it’s like a two-for-one deal.

Of course having multiple partners wrapped up in a single person can be both an extra help as well as too much to handle. So, what’s a Gemini lover to do for their partner to keep the twins tamed and terrifically happy? Keep reading to find ways to double the bliss in your Gemini romance.

9 Things You Need To Do If Your Partner Is A Gemini

Those born May 21 – June 20 are the sign of the twins, Gemini. Gemini is ruled by the planet Mercury and is an air sign. Gemini is associated with the color green and the birthstone emerald. Friends of Gemini know that they are energetic, indecisive, witty, unique, and are an intellectual sign.

1. Let your partner have alone time

Gemini almost always has nothing but good feelings, however, in those few times that they are feeling down, let them have some solitary time to work things out. Your partner enjoys reading and learning, so offer some interesting books to stimulate their imagination.

2. Let them play with others

Don’t be mad, but Gemini tends to have quite a few besties, because hey, there’s two of them to go around. Geminis tend to attract a crowd due to their natural charisma.

In our article ‘7 Things You Need To Know About Being Friends With a Gemini‘ we told you ‘Researchers confirmed ‘the astrological proposition that people born with the sun in a positive sign (Aries, Gemini, Leo, Libra, Sagittarius, Aquarius) are extroverted and those with the sun in a negative sign (Taurus, Cancer, Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn, Pisces) are introverted.’

3. Let your partner be right

Gemini loves being different from the rest, so being a naysayer comes naturally to this zodiac sign. They have to be different from you, after all. This can be one of the sign’s most frustrating facts for friends of Gemini.

4. Make your partner a little jealous

Lovers of Gemini know that they are all over the place and easily bored, but they keep you on your toes too, just like a toddler. If you’ve known your Gemini partner for a week or 10 years, by now you know that they are good-hearted but don’t seem to want to commit.

To a Gemini lover attracted to you, stay desirable yourself. If Gemini sees you as attractive and gets jealous, they will want to keep you all for themselves. They want all the best things for themselves, and who can blame them for their excellent taste in you?

5. Be honest about your emotions

Gemini is comfortable with uncomfortable emotions. They like to be honest and will ask you about things that others would sweep under the rug. As a result, your lover knows more about you than anyone else.

They don’t like negative emotions so they will try to help you turn that frown upside down fast, which is what they do for themselves too. Hiding sadness, anger or fear from one will make them distrust you because they are pretty good at picking up on subtle things that give your true feelings away.

6. Let your partner be indecisive

Gemini loves to see both sides of any decision. It’s not that they can’t make up their mind, it’s that your Gemini partner likes both decisions at once. If you can, let them have it both ways to cut down on lengthy decision-making time.

7. Accept that you are third place in their heart

Gemini loves him or herself first and foremost, and then they love their silent twin second. This means that as Gemini’s partner-in-love, you come in third place. They can seem self-involved but they always have to look out for their twin self too, so really they are very selfless.

8. Gemini is pretty noncommittal with romantic partners

It’s not that they don’t like you, but they like everyone else too. They are hard to tie down to just one person. They can be monogamously happy, but they love variety so much that it takes a very fascinating lover who attracts a lot of attention to get a Gemini to make a commitment.

9. Listen more than you speak

Of course your partner should listen to you too, but Gemini’s can’t wait to tell you all about what they learned today on their explorations. Giving your twin lover a listening ear, good eye contact, asking questions and keeping energy and enthusiasm in your tone is a priceless gift that your partner will appreciate.

Doing This ONE Thing Reduces Stress and Improves Brain Performance

May 19, 2016 by Power of Positivity

There’s a reason that they call it ‘paying’ attention. Indeed, this one thing can help you reduce stress and help your brain perform better, rather than making you pay for your effort.

Mentally, it can be exhausting to not even get much done in a work day or a day at home when you hoped to get more done than you accomplished. But you just can’t keep pushing forward when your brain stops working as well as it should.

This lack of mental clarity and the stress that not being able to finish a simple task as you should is something we’ve covered in previous articles.

Negative emotions, old ways of thinking, fears about our abilities, and too much going on in the place that we are trying to think can all interfere with our performance and mental ability. Let’s look at the one thing you need to be doing to reduce stress and improve your mental performance.

Doing This ONE Thing Reduces Stress and Improves Your Brain Performance

Spending more time, energy, and effort on a project until it is complete may seem like it will get things done faster. But it’s a bad idea to go full steam. Unless a deadline is looming, use this one thing to reduce stress and improve performance; slow down.

The more time you can devote to whatever it is you are working on, the better you will perform, in both quality and accuracy. Deliberate movement, thought and being open to receiving all of the sensory information that is coming in will help you feel calm and mentally clear.

Slowing down our movements and speech is the easiest way to start using this technique to reduce stress. By slowing your physical movement, even by a small fraction of your normal speed, you are more deliberate.

You avoid making mistakes like neglecting to notice hazards around you. You will notice yourself making fewer fumbling missteps that could end up the next viral video.

When you slow down your movements, you will then have more time to think. What is really happening is that by slowing your physical body, you give yourself more time to process incoming sensory information. Things that you didn’t pay attention to before become part of your awareness.

Learn more easily and help improve mental performance

In a study of classroom teacher interactions in the Journal of Teacher Education, researchers found that teachers typically only wait one second after asking a question before providing an answer. When a student finishes speaking, the teacher also typically ask another question within less than one second.

The scientists were able to prove that extending the wait time between the teacher asking a student a question and expecting an answer gave several measurable benefits for students:

Length of the responses increased between 300-700%
Students had time to remember the facts that back up their answers
Students made more guesses
The students asked more questions
Students proposed experiments to test theories
Students discussed topics with each other
There were fewer times when no one answered
There was less need for discipline
Students who never participated before began contributing
Unsolicited participation increased
Students reduced inflection, which is the rising vocal tone used when asking a question, in their answers, indicating increased confidence

Clearly the students felt like they would be listened to so they were more likely to speak up when the teacher slowed down to wait for answers.

Scientists noticed that teachers changed their actions with students in these ways:

Were more flexible with covering different discussion topics to encourage participation
Asked more and different questions
Had higher expectations for students

Although this study is about a classroom environment, you can imagine yourself as a student of the world slowing down to let your partner, coworkers, friends, and family think of their response to questions that you would ask them. You can also ask them to give you a moment before rushing ahead.

Multi-tasking makes your brain less capable

An Italian study at the University of Bologna found that mental resources are depleted or recovered depending on how much effort we spend making decisions on a project. We can’t keep working at maximum mental effort. That’s because we use up the total amount of mental energy that we have.

The researchers showed that mental fatigue is real, and it is worse when we are under pressure to go fast. They say that multitasking, which is multi-decision-making, results in lower performance as well as reaching the threshold of mental fatigue ‘beyond which the worker cannot avoid being exhausted.’ They recommend taking a break or leaving the workspace until you can recover your mental energy.

9 Comebacks For Dealing With Sarcastic People

May 19, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Sarcasm can be funny if you don’t take things personally, but it can also be a form of hostile bulldozing. An aggressive sarcastic person can turn words into daggers while masquerading them behind humor. Usually sarcasm comes out quickly in a way that teases or mocks the other person. If you find yourself among this type of behavior, the best thing to do is walk away. This type of personality loves a good laugh, so if you just ignore them they will stop. But, if you feel the desire to say something, then here are some ways to do just that.

9 Comebacks For Dealing With Sarcastic People

1. “Don’t let your mind wander, it’s far too little to be on its own.”

Sarcasm sometimes carries wit that’s beyond nasty. It comes out in such a way that the words and tone make the recipient it feel uneducated. There are lots of introverts who use sarcasm to deviate from their own internal issues. Let this comeback force them to think before they say something to you again and walk away.

2. “I would like to insult you back but I’m afraid you wouldn’t understand me.”

There is a difference between being funny and being sarcastic. Sarcasm forces you to think and take things personally. However, returning with this comeback is a way to disarm that person for next time. You do not need to participate in every discussion with this type of person.

3. “I don’t understand your type of craziness, but I sure admire your commitment to it.”

Sometimes a person might have a reason to get a reaction from you. Observe their manner of speaking and body language. Is there something that is triggering them off? This comeback allows you to put them back in their place. And always just walk away with a smile on your face. People who are sarcastic love to get a rise out of others.

4. “I’m afraid I can’t say much since I would be talking outside of your emotional zip code.”

Silence is golden. If you cannot say something nice, don’t say anything at all. But, sarcastic people will continue to push buttons to get a rise out of someone. Sarcasm isn’t always mean. Some people just have different sense of humors. If it’s all in fun and games then something like this comeback returns the humor.

5. “You are not as bad as people say, you are much worse.”

This comeback is a return on a nasty sarcastic one. Sometimes a sarcastic person can’t see boundaries. Something like this will stop them on their tracks and make them think if their comment was truly bordering on rudeness. Sarcasm is sometimes too much spice for one sitting. Then…walk away.

6. “Who crapped in your cheerios today?”

This is for the moody sarcastic person who can’t see how intolerable she’s being. Sometimes when we are having a bad day we tend to snap in a sarcastic tone. As a reminder of negativity, this is one of those questions that keeps the person informed that pessimism is not accepted.

7. “If you are gonna be two-faced, at least make one of them attractive.”

There’s a thin line between being mean and sarcastic. A person can be one way and sarcastically express another side of themselves. This comeback lets the person know that you are aware of their Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

8. “Remember when I asked for your opinion? Me neither.”

At times, sarcasm comes with a hefty dosage of opinions. It makes it even harder to swallow when you have not asked for a viewpoint or assumption from that person. This comeback reminds the person that their input is not necessary.

9. “Your inappropriateness knows no boundaries.”

Sarcasm can also arrive with sexual innuendos. They are uncomfortable and hard to take. Even if the person is saying something in humor when it comes with nuisance and displeasure, it is necessary to stop that person before anything further arises. Sexual sarcasm can be distasteful and ill-suited. This is one of those comments that requires that you be stern when you speak. Set your boundary before it continues.

Dr. Clifford N. Lazarus wrote an article for Psychology Today where he expresses that “sarcasm is actually hostility disguised as humor.” And then continues to state:

“Despite smiling outwardly, most people who receive sarcastic comments feel put down and usually think the sarcastic person is a jerk. Indeed, it’s not surprising that the origin of the word sarcasm derives from the Greek word “sarkazein” which literally means “to tear or strip the flesh off.” Hence, it’s no wonder that sarcasm is often preceded by the word “cutting” and that it hurts.”

When you are among someone sarcastic, listen but don’t respond immediately. Then remind that person of their intelligence and to use their wit appropriately. Relationships can suffer greatly if too much sarcasm is used. It can border on hostility and bullying. You get to decide what you tolerate in your life.

5 Things That Happen When You Suppress Your Emotions

May 19, 2016 by Power of Positivity

The emotions we show outwardly are often suppressed so that we appear more calm, but hiding how we feel can cause things to happen to our bodies. Hiding how you feel is pretty normal for us, and even more so in other cultures, but what is the health cost of stuffing emotions?

These Things Happen To Your Body When You Suppress Your Emotions

1. Memory lapses

Emotion associated with an event helps us to remember the event better. When we deny or suppress the emotion part, our brain has to resolve the decision to store the memory with the fact that we do not want to remember the emotion.

A Stanford University study showed that intentionally suppressed emotions cause impaired incidental memory while the emotion is being hidden. Memories are often processed at night, while we sleep which is believed to be one of the functions of dreams.

2. Mental fatigue

Your brain is trying to not remember the situation that caused you to have the emotion that you are trying to suppress. At the same time, you are getting new information in. Your brain is holding the memory that you wanted to forget because of the uncomfortable emotions that it brought up.

As a result, your decision to suppress your emotions has made your brain simultaneously try to remember to forget the upsetting event. What a paradox but now you’ve caused yourself to be mentally tired. Read our article on mental fatigue for some tips to reduce the brain strain.

3. You get less oxytocin

Suppressing emotions means that you are denying anger, sadness or fear and these negative emotions can often be worked out with those closest to you. Letting out your emotions on the ones you love rather than the ones who hurt you will result in relationship problems.

With your relationship suffering, you get less of the cuddle hormone oxytocin. Oxytocin reduces stress in the body by lowering your blood pressure, heart rate and rate of respiration. A hug is exactly what you need, but because you are suppressing your emotions, you push away the ones who can help you most.

4. You have bad sleep habits

Another thing that happens to your body when you suppress emotions is insomnia. Lack of good sleep can cause your brain to shut down when you need it most; on the job. A sleep deficit can cause you to make costly mistakes at work, and your boss will definitely notice. Not to mention, poor sleep habits affect all other areas of life, including relationships, physical health, and mental health.

5. Elevated blood pressure

The same Stanford study that showed that hiding emotions messes with your memory also found that suppressed emotions led to a higher rate of cardiovascular activity.

Higher heart rate, blood pressure, and rates of respiration all increase when your body is stressed and suppressing emotions is stressful to your brain and body.

(Here are 5 additional signs of suppressed emotions)

6. Weight gain

Many people who stuff their emotions down inside also stuff comfort food. This bingeing to feel better, does indeed make you feel better. Food triggers our pleasure and reward center in our brain so we do feel better.

This can create a roller coaster cycle of feeling bad, eating to feel better, and then feeling bad for allowing yourself to binge.

7. You have digestive problems

From upset stomach and ulcers to acid reflux and constipation; there are many digestive problems caused by suppressed emotions. Suppressing emotions is very similar to how your body reacts to stress.

8. Your temporal lobe is not able to do its job

The part of your brain that is in the forehead part of your head is your temporal lobe. It is responsible for stabilizing mood and since you are telling it to not pay attention to the negative emotions, it can’t work the way it is supposed to.

Rather than suppressing emotions and causing all of these problems for your body, try what don Miguel Ruiz, author of The Four Agreements says. ‘Don’t take anything personally.’ When you choose not to take anything personally, we hear someone’s words that we judge to be hurtful and we choose not to accept their judgment of ourselves because we know that we are worth more.

Speaking politely in the moment while thinking to yourself that you won’t take the words personally is a way to be socially proper while choosing to not feel angry. Mr. Ruiz says ‘Whatever happens around you, don’t take it personally’ Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves.’

9. Facial wrinkles

Concern, frustration, anger, anxiety, they all wrinkle your face when you show these feelings, but suppressing emotions causes wrinkling too. The reason? Your face is trying to conceal your natural facial expression in response to something or someone.

10. Teeth shift positions

Teeth grinding is one of the most frequent strategies that people use when they are trying to suppress their emotions. We think of someone who trying not to show the emotions of anger and frustration grinding their teeth.

Teeth grinding weakens the protective enamel coating on your teeth. Teeth grinding from suppressed emotions also causes the teeth in your mouth to shift positions and become deformed.

5 Types of People to Keep In Your Life (And 5 to Avoid)

May 18, 2016 by Power of Positivity

You are not here on this world to be alone. You have many people that come in and out of your life to teach you and force you to grow. Our interactions with the world hold deep experiences.

Here are 5 types of people to keep in your life:

1. The Cheerleader.

This is your motivator. No matter what you do, this person is in your corner cheering you on and encouraging you to continue following your dreams. And when you are feeling down, the cheerleader is the one that finds light at the end of the tunnel. They are the voice of motivation.

2. The Connector.

This is that one person who knows everyone, or has the means to find another who can help you. The connector is magical. He/she connects you to the next person who can better guide you to your goals. This type of personality is the go-to person. They might not have the answers but they will send you to the person who will while making it easier for you to navigate in this life.

3. The Teacher.

This is your mentor. The teacher will teach you through examples and will make sure that lessons are being consciously observed and acknowledged. The teacher is the Yoda of the group. This person uses metaphors and world events to put you back in your place while forcing you to see the dark and light parts of yourself. Knowledge is power and the teacher is that one person whose guidance is priceless.

4. The Therapist.

It’s important to have that one person you can share your deepest fears and secrets without judgment. The therapist has the ability to hear you through words and your actions. This person knows you so well that he/she can analyze what you haven’t considered. This is the person who can be the devil’s advocate and you don’t take offense because they see past the issue at hand.

5. The Comedian.

You always need a friend who can make you laugh, especially at yourself. The joy of having this friend is that life is taken as a joke. Sometimes you need to step back and see that nothing is as it seems. The comedian can turn any event into a sarcastic stand up routine. And, in this person you begin to find light.

Just as we need these type of people in our lives to support and love us, we also do not need other types who bring out the worst in us with their toxic energy.

Here are 5 types of people you need to avoid:

1. The Gossiper.

This person will talk to you about everyone and when he/she turns their back will talk about you as well. They raise their attention by putting others in the worst scenarios. The gossiper has no problem sharing stories and creating some along the way. They are toxic and emotionally draining.

2. The Complainer.

This is that person whose life is constantly under some kind of drama. The complainer feeds on the negative attention of others by feeling sorry for him/herself. They will look at your life and complain about everything as well while instilling their story into it. At the end of the day you have nothing good for them because they are victims of society.

3. The Super-Agreeable.

You know this person well. This is the one who agrees on everything you say and do without truly supporting you. This type of person is passive aggressive. They seek approval by being hypocritical in nature. You don’t know their motives until it’s too late and you been sucked into some of their drama. They don’t care about you. They care only about themselves. The super-agreeable person is looking out for what’s best in their world. If they can use you to get it they will.

4. The Pessimist.

This is the greatest burden in your social group. No matter what you share there is constant gloom and doom. This is the kill-joy dweller. The pessimist is the angry, resentful, and bitter soul who is constantly reminding you that you will not succeed and will challenge you to it. They love to instill their fears and anxieties. Their negativity is unhealthy and distressing.

5. The Know-It-All.

We love someone who knows things, but what we cannot tolerate is the one who is an expert of all! This is that one person who says things without truly checking their facts. They know everything about anything. They are the con artists, the emotional vampires sucking on your lack of knowledge in a specific area. Most times they are so full of insecurities that in order to feel superior they must make you feel stupid. These are the self-reliant liars.

Surround yourself with people who bring you to your best. You can easily spot those others who suck on your emotional needs and stories. Always be yourself and attract the best types of people who enrich your life with joy.

6 Behaviors That Create Selfish People (And How To Avoid Having Them)

May 18, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Selfish people come across our lives all the time. There is a difference between self-loving and being selfish. This type of person only thinks about themselves while bulldozing their way on others to get what they want. Psychologist F. Diane Barth defines selfishness as having two primary characteristics: “1. Being concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself; 2. Having no regard for the needs or feelings of others. If someone is both totally self-involved and uncaring about anyone else, they are not likely to be very responsive to you in any way other than evaluating how you meet their needs.”

Here are 6 behaviors that create selfish people (and how to avoid them):

1. Selfish people exhibit manipulation.

The person who will utilize behavior for their benefit without regard to you is a master manipulator. Selfishness is not a genetic physical disposition in our psyche. It is a learned behavior from childhood. Children are suppose to be selfish up to a point since they are learning from their environments. It’s important to distinguished from the behaviors of self love and self care. However, the manipulator feeds on another person’s self-esteem. Stand back and realize that you are not getting anywhere by arguing with this person. This type of selfishness has little or no regard to your needs. If you are feeling like you are being used then most likely you are.

2. Uncaring.

Selfish individuals are emotional tyrants. They are uncaring and have no sympathy for your needs. The more love and reward you show them the easier it is for them to feed from your kindness. They might appear charming and caring at first but their behavior goes astray the moment you don’t submit to their desires. The best way to deal with an uncaring and unselfish behavior is to put yourself first and let them know it. They don’t tolerate that. They are all about them. Explaining to them things like this is redundant since they can’t see past their own issues.

3. Plotting and scheming.

This specific trait or action arises from the fear of losing control. The moment you step into the picture you are disrupting their goal. The selfish person will continue doing things behind your back and plotting a different angle to suit themselves. The lack of control scares them. They have to manipulate everything. The best way to deal with this type of behavior is to show them who is really in charged through kindness. And when that doesn’t work it’s important to let them go. You cannot be responsible for how they feel since they cannot see your point of view.

4. Self-centered and conceited.

Narcissism and selfishness arrive from a lack of self-worth and an attention seeking behavior. In order to feel better this type of personality will brag and make everything about them seem relevant. Stay true to yourself. The moment they put you down remember not to take it personally. Anyone who goes around hurting another is truthfully a hurt individual. They must put themselves up by putting another down.

5. Giving and sharing do not come easily.

Selfish people pretend they care. They might say the right things but their actions speak loudly. They only do things for others when they will receive great benefit from them. It’s not in their nature to go out and give. If they do it is because they want the attention back to them for giving. They will make sure they let the world know how wonderful they’ve been. The easiest way to readjust their behavior is to take away their focus. Do not praise the behavior. It’s best to just allow the act itself to go unnoticed.

6. Selfish people expect others to do things for them.

A selfish person has high expectations of what they need. They live based on what others think of them and what they can do for them. What can they get out of this? They expect the world to revolve around their needs and desires. They ask for lots of favors, so stop doing them. Don’t give into their demands. Limit the time you spend around this type of person because if they don’t have you available to their demands they will not need to be with you.

To some extent, we are all considered selfish when we give to ourselves first and foremost. But there is a line between narcissism and self-care. Being selfish is self-absorbing of others. This type of personality is arrogant and self-indulging. There are ways to deal with selfishness and remove those who bathe only in their glory. End all relationships that don’t support you because you deserve better.

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9 Things You Need To Do If Your Partner Is A Gemini

1. Let your partner have alone time

2. Let them play with others

3. Let your partner be right

4. Make your partner a little jealous

5. Be honest about your emotions

6. Let your partner be indecisive

7. Accept that you are third place in their heart

8. Gemini is pretty noncommittal with romantic partners

9. Listen more than you speak

Doing This ONE Thing Reduces Stress and Improves Your Brain Performance

Learn more easily and help improve mental performance

Multi-tasking makes your brain less capable

9 Comebacks For Dealing With Sarcastic People

1. “Don’t let your mind wander, it’s far too little to be on its own.”

2. “I would like to insult you back but I’m afraid you wouldn’t understand me.”

3. “I don’t understand your type of craziness, but I sure admire your commitment to it.”

4. “I’m afraid I can’t say much since I would be talking outside of your emotional zip code.”

5. “You are not as bad as people say, you are much worse.”

6. “Who crapped in your cheerios today?”

7. “If you are gonna be two-faced, at least make one of them attractive.”

8. “Remember when I asked for your opinion? Me neither.”

9. “Your inappropriateness knows no boundaries.”

These Things Happen To Your Body When You Suppress Your Emotions

1. Memory lapses

2. Mental fatigue

3. You get less oxytocin

4. You have bad sleep habits

5. Elevated blood pressure

(Here are 5 additional signs of suppressed emotions)

6. Weight gain

7. You have digestive problems

8. Your temporal lobe is not able to do its job

9. Facial wrinkles

10. Teeth shift positions

Here are 5 types of people to keep in your life:

1. The Cheerleader.

2. The Connector.

3. The Teacher.

4. The Therapist.

5. The Comedian.

Here are 5 types of people you need to avoid:

1. The Gossiper.

2. The Complainer.

3. The Super-Agreeable.

4. The Pessimist.

5. The Know-It-All.

Here are 6 behaviors that create selfish people (and how to avoid them):

1. Selfish people exhibit manipulation.

2. Uncaring.

3. Plotting and scheming.

4. Self-centered and conceited.

5. Giving and sharing do not come easily.

6. Selfish people expect others to do things for them.

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