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This Is How Curiosity Changes Your Brain

Lifelong learning is one of the benefits of having a curious mind; now science can show us what happens in your brain when you’re learning. Our own sphere of our world is so small but it has much to offer our curious minds.

Expanding our circle of learning to other people, cultures, countries, continents, and the universe creates even more opportunities for gaining knowledge. A curious mind is a healthy mind and here are the things that are happening to your brain when you are curious.

These Things Happen to Your Brain When You Are Curious

Curious Brains In The Classroom

As children in school, we learned to sit still, listen, and pay attention to the teacher. According to a paper presented at East Carolina University, the downside to a classroom learning environment is ‘In a sedentary classroom led primarily by electronic communication, we can find that students stop exploring and instead are only memorizing. Students may forget the importance or value of asking why, how, and what. Instead, many accept what they hear to be truth or fact. Using curiosity, the brain can be a very powerful tool that can promote increased memory and enjoyment in the learning process.’

Now that we are out of the classroom, we need to remember our childlike curiosity and ask questions; why, how, and what are good questions to start with. Asking questions of people around us also helps us to connect with others while we learn.

The Desire To Understand Our World

Humans have modified our world dramatically since our arrival on this planet. Part of these tremendous changes are due to our drive to know deeply and understand how and why things work. Armed with knowledge, we are able to take action and make changes to adapt the environment to meet our needs.

One of the important reasons that we are curious is to reduce uncertainty. As an adaptation, the more knowledge we have, the safer we are. For example, learning about a tiger if we are in its native territory helps us to avoid being killed by it.

You may recall in our recent article that serotonin also plays a role in learning and memory. Decreased serotonin, for example in people suffering from depression, causes memory and learning to suffer as a result.

Related article: 5 Ways to Increase The Serotonin In Your Brain

Stress can also affect our ability to learn. Neurogistics.com says ‘Surprisingly, memory can also be impaired (meaning that the brain is not stimulated enough) when stress is inadequate. This situation is often due to lack of movement (circulation) that causes the increased release of dopamine, which is the focus and memory neurotransmitter.’

We gather information through our senses; sight, hearing, taste, touch and smell help us to get the data we need to make decisions. When we are actively gathering information, we are curious and interested in learning.

In a study of curiosity, researchers looked at the activity in the brain when presented with topics that people were either interested in or not interested in. Researchers who scanned the brains of subjects with MRIs found:

  • People are better at learning information that they are curious about
  • Memory for other information presented during curious states also improved
  • Curiosity and anticipatory activity happens in the nucleus accumbens and midbrain
  • Memory benefits for incidental material depend on midbrain-hippocampus involvement

The nucleus accumbens is a center in the basal forebrain that is also important for motivation, pleasure, and reward. The nucleus accumbens also connects to the olfactory (sense of smell) center of the brain, which is why certain scents trigger memories for us.

The fact that the motivation center of the brain is active when we are curious means that learning serves as a type of reward for us. We enjoy the act of being curious.

The midbrain includes centers for vision and hearing. The hippocampus plays a role in both long-term, short-term memory and spatial abilities. All of these memory centers are active when we have the desire to learn.

In our recent article, we talked about how random thoughts or mind pops often links to memory and problem solving, as well as helping with creativity.

Related article: Why Random Thoughts Are Actually Important

The researchers in the curiosity study say ‘These findings suggest a link between the mechanisms supporting extrinsic reward motivation and intrinsic curiosity and highlight the importance of stimulating curiosity to create more effective learning experiences.’

The desire to learn makes it easier for us to retain information. In other words, you won’t remember it if you don’t care about it first. Becoming childlike again with our desire to discover and explore our world can help us to increase our knowledge base.

What Does Your Iris Reveal About Your Health?

Proponents of iridology claim that the iris of the eye can reveal a lot about a person’s emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual health. Practitioners of iridology mainly use the practice as a preventative tool, an early warning system. The practice can also be useful in the evaluation of the healing process and for discovering signs of eventual health. It is common for practitioners to use the principles of iridology to gauge their health status in a multitude of areas.

The basic foundational principles of iridology are as follows:

  • The iris is an extension of the brain and consists of many thousands of nerve endings.
  • Each organ connects to the iris via the nervous system.
  • Every organ is encompasses a certain amount of space in either the left or right iris of the eye.
  • The physical appearance of the iris (patterns, colors, etc.) are a manifestation of each organ’s health.

Iris: A flat, colored, ring-shaped membrane behind the cornea of the eye, with an adjustable circular opening (pupil) in the center. – Dictionary.com

What Does Your Iris Reveal About Your Health?

Related article: 5 Warning Signs Of Early Vision Loss

The iris itself is made up of very dense and straight lines that extend from the pupil to the outer rim of the eye. When these lines take on a shade similar to that of hardwood, vitality and recovery ability are believed to be strong. However, if these lines are loose and resemble softwood in color, it is believed that underlying health is weak.

It is also possible for these normally-fine lines of the iris to become distorted. When this happens, it is common for these lines to separate further from one-another. Called “markings,” these distorted lines can mean weak blood circulation and damage and/or poor health of a particular organ.

Color changes of the iris may also reveal potential health problems. For example, brown discolorations in blue or green eyes may indicate digestive system deterioration, weakness of the gall bladder, and/or liver problems.

When color of the iris changes from a bluish to brownish shade, the body may be having an allergic reaction of some kind. People with allergies involving the skin, respiratory system and digestive system commonly experience a similar color change.

White markings within the iris may indicate that an organ is inflamed, while grey or brown markings may indicate that an organ requires some type of strengthening or stimulation. It is common for organs that are inflamed to becoming chronically weak, during which time the white of the iris will take on a shade of grey. It is believed that the darker the grey area, the weaker the organ(s). Conversely, when an organ begins to heal, the grey coloration will convert back to its original white color.

Here are some of the more-common iridology discoveries:

  • Pupil reflex: Non-contraction of the pupil when exposed to bright light may indicate dullened reflexes, an overstimulated nervous system, or weakened adrenal glands.
  • Nerve rings: Circles or arcs of a white color may appear on the outer part of the iris. The appearance of these circles/arcs may indicate irritation or hypersensitivity of the nervous system.
  • Stomach area discoloration: When healthy, the stomach area of the iris is not visible. However, stomach irritation will generally result in the area bordering to the pupil turning white. Brown coloration of this area may indicate chronic stomach problems.
  • Intestinal area discoloration: A white intestinal area of the iris can indicate inflammation, ulcer or irritation. In this case, practitioners will often avoid certain products, including: gluten, spices, acidic foods and dairy products.
  • White outer ring: A thick, white ring on the iris’s outer parts may indicate excessive salt intake. So avoid sodium, drink plenty of water and ingest plenty of potassium, magnesium, and vitamin D. Supplementation of these vital minerals is also acceptable.
  • Dark outer ring: A dark ring at the outer part of the iris, called the “scurf rim.”  It may indicate unhealthy skin. It is also common for this symptom to indicate poor lung and/or kidney circulation.

7 Things A Strong Woman Will Never Tolerate In A Relationship

You’ve created a relationship with the strong woman in your life who loves you, but you might be wondering how to keep her buff heart bonded to yours. It can be a daunting task to allow a strong woman all the freedom she needs to spread her wings while making sure that her heart belongs to you alone.

This challenging balancing act is easier than it sounds if you can avoid some seriously unacceptable behavior. Let’s discuss seven things your strong woman will never tolerate in your relationship.

7 Things A Strong Woman Will Never Tolerate In A Relationship

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1. Disrespect

Disrespect is a very broad category of behavior that a strong woman will not tolerate in a relationship. You may worry, but how will you know if you’ve disrespected her?

Disrespect for a strong woman could be anything from telling her that she throws ‘like a girl’ to disagreeing with her opinion in a derogatory way. It could be your disagreement that women deserve equal pay for equal work to your tone when you say something you thought was a compliment.

Following the Golden Rule is treating her how you would want to be treated. Even better than that is treating her how she wants to be treated. You aren’t a mind-reader, most likely, so the easiest way to avoid disrespecting her is to ask her how she would like to be treated.

2. Dominating the relationship

Control can be kinky sometimes in the bedroom. Still, when one partner totally dominates the balance of power, it puts a strong woman in a position of powerlessness, which she will never tolerate in a relationship.

Strong women know how to take the lead, when to be in control and when to be vulnerable and they can do all of it without you telling them what to do. To be in a relationship with a strong woman, you have to let her be in the drivers seat frequently.

3. Treating her with inequality

Treat the strong woman in your relationship as your equal in every way, and if she needs your help, trust her to ask for it. Make your relationship a level playing field, regardless of your income, education, ethnicity, gender, political affiliation, social status, etc. Your strong woman will appreciate the respect you’re giving her.

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4. Breaking her boundaries

If a strong woman has already told you ‘No’ or ‘Don’t do that again’ once, you’d better be sure not to break her personal boundaries again. Women have been repressed as the weaker sex for a long time in our social norms, and as a result, strong women everywhere have had to stand up and demand that they do not tread on us.

A strong woman knows her personal limits, values, morals, and beliefs and she knows where to draw the line. Don’t push her boundaries, or you will feel her anger.

5. A negative attitude toward her suggestions

Everyone can have periods of negativity and. So they will reject their partner’s ideas. But a strong woman will never tolerate someone who is always negative about her wonderful suggestions.

6. Not supporting her dreams or her heart

‘There may come a time when a lass needs a lawyer’ – Marilyn Monroe

Do not think that a strong woman will continue to tolerate a partner without interest in helping her achieve her dream. For that matter, she doesn’t want you to stomp on her heart either. Support her desires or a strong woman will look to leave the relationship.

Researchers studying men’s and women’s psychological well-being in relationships found that supportive relationships are less psychologically distressful while strained relationships are associated with anxiety and distress.

Not being supported is stressful for both men and women, however, researchers also found that the strong women were more socially active than men, which meant that they would have had even higher stress levels if they didn’t have the emotional support of their friends.

7. Emotional constipation

Just let it out already. In a study of women in lesbian relationships, most strong women wanted the independence of decision-making and communicating emotions to form a deep, intimate connection to their partner. These two qualities are also desirable in a relationship with a firm heterosexual woman.

Women possess higher emotional intelligence than most men do. As a result, they pick up on the subtle body language, tone, and verbal cues that reveal hidden emotions.

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Final Thoughts on the Things Women Don’t Tolerate in a Relationship

Women are also strong because they do most of the emotional work in a relationship. That is, women seek to help their romantic partner express negative emotions, understand the reasons for the feelings, and help return their partner to a positive emotion.

How To Stop Emotional Eating In 3 Steps

Emotional eating feels like you’re filling a bottomless hole of what you think will make you feel better. The problem for most emotional eaters is that it is difficult to stop. When you feel low and you want to feel happy, emotional eating is an easy way to feel better quickly. Eating an Oreo cookie might make you feel happy, but eating the whole box will make you feel horrible.

The cycle of indulging your craving to feed your emotions, and then regretting the choice and feeling bad can then lead to emotional eating again. This up and down emotional eating roller coaster leads to weight gain. Weight gain is one major reason to work on controlling emotional eating. Unhealthy nutrition which can lead to diabetes, heart disease, inflammatory illnesses, and cancer risk is another good reason to avoid emotional eating.

Eating to manage negative emotions is not healthy. Ideally, when faced with stress that makes us feel angry/sad/afraid we would take a moment to calm ourselves and find a healthy way to change our emotional state to a positive one.

Why we like “comfort foods”

Dr. Brian Wansink, author of Mindless Eating; Why We Eat More Than We Think and director of Cornell University’s Food and Brand Lab says ‘The fact we like comfort foods is predictable, but it is also somewhat predictable which foods we will like, when and why we like them, and when all of it backfires. For starters, we found that men prefer meal-related comfort foods like steak, pasta, pizza, burgers because they make them feel special and well-taken care of. Women, on the other hand, don’t think of these as comfort foods. These foods reminded them of work – cooking and clean-up. Women much preferred the convenience of the snack foods, like cookies, chocolate, and ice cream. Eating ice cream from the container equals no cooking and no clean-up.’

Dr. Wansink and his team have conducted many experiments since 1997 when the Cornell Food and Brand Lab opened. In this research facility, scientists have created a fake restaurant where members of the public are invited to eat while researchers observe their eating habits.

Although the Cornell Food and Brand Lab has made many food-related discoveries, here are some key findings related to emotional eating during a sad movie:

  • People eat more while watching sad movies, but they can eat more healthy foods by making healthy snacks available.
  • When in a bad mood, focus on something other than the present to reduce consumption of indulgent foods.
  • To make healthier food choices, do something to make you feel happy and positive.
  • Women felt that they overate and were rushed through their meal when they ate with men due to the need to impress.

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Here’s a 3-step process that can help end the process of emotional eating…

Once you know the trigger, then you can make a choice to take different actions in response to the stress.

1. Say ‘I can.’

Believing in yourself and your ability to accomplish anything you set your mind to is very empowering. Even if cravings have seemed irresistible in the past, by saying ‘I can resist those brownies’ we confirm our faith in ourselves.

The power of ‘I can’ is what enables people to finish triathlons at age 60 and it’s what helps many drop 100 or more pounds. Say ‘I can resist emotional eating’ when you feel the urge to indulge.

2. Celebrate your accomplishments, no matter how small.

If you were able to resist the jar of M&Ms at the office, congratulate yourself. Don’t celebrate by rewarding yourself with any food treats, unless it’s excellent nutrition, but praise yourself for making excellent choices.

3. Practice mindfulness.

Emotional eating is brought on by a trigger in your environment. Most likely, something stressful happened and you responded by wanting to self-medicate with food to increase your levels of serotonin.

Being able to recognize the trigger for the emotion is an important step to being aware of what prompts you to binge. Let’s say that every time your boss visits your desk during a day, you reach for candy. The boss coming to your desk is a stressful trigger.

10 Causes of Emotional Eating

1. Stress

Daily stress is a big contributor to emotional eating. Your work, home, family, and other responsibilities stretch you thin. It’s hard to get a break to relax. So, it’s tempting to indulge in something sweet or high-fat for comfort and a bit of relief.

2. Foods addictions

There’s a close relationship between emotional eating fueled by pleasure-seeking and food addictions. Studies found when patients ate what they considered delicious feel-good foods, their bodies released endorphins, causing them to feel happy.  Researchers say that repeating this experience over and over leads to food addictions. It’s interesting that the same motivation to use drugs, seeking pleasure, also causes your brain to release endorphins.

3. Depression

Your mental health is a big part of your decisions on what to eat. Anxiety, depression, and even anger cause emotional eating. It’s easy to turn to unhealthy foods to feel better. If you think you’re eating because of a mental health issue, be sure to get help to deal with the root causes and get your body and mind back in shape.

4. Comfort

Who hasn’t eaten a bowl of ice cream for comfort? Although food is within your control, when you need some extra comfort, all your control goes out the window. Maybe you have a hard time coping with difficult situations. So, you turn to food for comfort. It makes everything feel better, at least for a while. Major life events can trigger certain feelings that make you feel a need to gain control and feel secure again. Feelings that can cause emotional eating, and desiring comfort include:

  • Sadness
  • Frustration
  • Guilt
  • Anger
  • Fear
  • Grief

5. Boredom

Sometimes your emotional eating is nothing more than feeling bored. According to one study, some people eat when they have nothing else to do. It’s a way to escape the monotony of their life. People who ate out of boredom say they couldn’t remember what they ate. These individuals also said they didn’t feel genuine hunger, but impulsively ate to fill their day.

6. Reward

Food is often used as an incentive to finish a difficult task, or as a reward when you do a good job. This is reinforced in childhood. Food is used to comfort or motivate kids to do things. As an adult, it’s easy to fall into the same habit of rewarding yourself with emotional eating. When you work hard, you want to go to a coffee shop and get a drink and a muffin as a reward for it.

7. You watch television

It’s suggested that people eat more when distracted. If you’re intensely watching your favorite show on TV, it’s easy to overeat and not even know it. Emotional eating is connected to television ads, too. These ads play on your emotions. They use nostalgic scenes of families eating together, and suddenly you want the food the television family is eating. That’s powerful persuasiveness.

8. A bad habit

Sometimes you create a bad habit that leads to emotional eating.  If you eat three cookies with your mug of coffee every morning after you get to work, you’ve created a habit. It may seem harmless, but if you try to break the habit, you feel stressed. And weirdly, this can cause you to stress eat. Creating habits centered on food is never a good idea.

money habits

9. Peer pressure

Sometimes your friends or co-workers set you up for emotional eating. It’s easy to fall into a trap of making bad food choices when your coworker suggests getting food and drinks after work every day. Even if you don’t want to go out for drinks, you may give in, so you don’t appear like a bore to everyone else.

10. You feel tired

Feeling tired makes you emotional and hungry.  It’s your body’s way of trying to increase your energy. Munching on food becomes mindless as you try to make up for your tiredness throughout the day. A good night’s sleep helps you avoid mindless emotional eating.

Common Foods People Crave During Bouts of Emotional Eating

Many people crave these foods during stressful times.

Chocolate

Chocolate is one of the most popular foods people crave when they’re emotional eating. Some people suggest chocolate cravings is your body craving magnesium, but this hasn’t been proven yet. If you think your chocolate craving is because you’re low in magnesium, snack on magnesium-rich foods such as:

  • Edamame
  • Peanuts
  • Cashews
  • Almonds
  • Beans
  • Spinach

Ice cream

That bowl of ice cream you ate just now might be a calcium craving. Of course, it might have nothing to do with a calcium deficiency. Scientists don’t have any proof either way. If you’re craving dairy, try to avoid high-fat dairy foods. Instead, choose calcium-rich foods such as

  • Leafy greens
  • Beans
  • Milk
  • Low-fat yogurt

Pasta

Cheesy, warm, and comforting, a bowl of pasta is a common food people crave during bouts of emotional eating. Craving carbs like pasta could mean your brain needs a little boost of serotonin. Carbohydrates increase your blood sugar, which gives you more energy. These foods also encourage the production of serotonin, which makes you feel happier. It’s no wonder carbs are many people’s go-to food craving.

Cookies and sweets

When you crave sweets like cookies during bouts of emotional eating, you want a mini-brain boost that sugar gives you. The glucose boost makes you feel better for a short time, but later you have a sugar crash when your blood sugar quickly goes down. If you’re craving sweets, try to eat some berries, such as:

  • Raspberries
  • Blueberries
  • Strawberries
  • Blackberries

The berries taste sweet, but they’re lower in sugar than most fruits. Plus, they’re healthy for you to snack on.

Potato chips

Salty and crunchy potato chips rank high on the list of common foods people crave during bouts of emotional eating. When you crave potato chips, you’re really craving salt. Salt cravings could indicate a health problem.  So, talk to your doctor about them.

emotional eating

Final Thoughts on Breaking the Cycle of Emotional Eating

Emotional eating is a black hole. But remember, you’re not alone in your struggle to break the cycle of emotional eating. Many people have had emotional eating habits and found ways to break the cycle. Figuring out why you want to eat is your first step, then replacing the urge to eat with something else is next. You can break free from the emotional roller-coaster of emotional eating.

11 Quotes To Remember When You Feel Lost In Life

At some point or another, we all feel a little bit lost in life. With so many decisions to make, so many unknowns making us question our existence, and so many responsibilities to juggle, our vision can sometimes become clouded. As humans, we want to know all the answers, but unfortunately, life doesn’t really work that way. We simply have to do the best we can with what we’ve been given, and just try our hardest each day to live life according to our own principles and beliefs.

Any time you feel like you’ve lost your sense of direction, refer to the following quotes below to get back on track.

Here are 11 quotes to remember when you feel lost in life:

Read and reflect on these statements when you need a pick-me-up.

1. Always remember that your present situation is not your final destination. The best is yet to come.

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You don’t have to have everything figured out right now. Simply breathe, enjoy the journey, and don’t take life so seriously. As long as you put in the effort and believe in yourself, you’ll get where you want to be.

2. Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us.

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You can’t always predict how something in your life will affect the future, but most of the time, the hardest things in our lives prepare us for a beautiful new beginning. Trust the process, and count on your friends and family when times get rough. Once you make it through the storm, a rainbow will be awaiting you.

3. If you don’t like where you are, move. You are not a tree.

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In life, we get to make choices, but oftentimes, we get mentally paralyzed just thinking about our next move. We stay in jobs we hate in towns we don’t enjoy simply out of familiarity and fear of changing our lives. However, to live the most fulfilling, happiest life possible, change is necessary. You control your life, so you get to decide how it will unfold. Make sure you listen to your heart always.

4. You can’t start the next chapter if you keep rereading the last.

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Remember to only look back to see how far you’ve come, not to wish you could turn back time. When you feel lost in life, just remember what you’ve learned from your past, and keep your eyes focused ahead on all the good things awaiting you.

5. If it doesn’t open, it’s not your door.

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When you feel lost in life, remember that if you hit a roadblock, you can always turn around and find a different way. There are many paths to take in life, and you might still be looking for the right one for you. Take your time, and don’t rush your destiny.

6. Sometimes you need to step outside, get some air, and remind yourself of who you are and where you want to be.

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Sometimes, feeling lost in life just means you haven’t had enough time to connect with yourself. A walk in nature or even a short trip away from the hustle and bustle of the city could provide the clarity you’ve been seeking.

7. Sometimes you need to talk to a three-year-old just so you can understand life again.

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Adults tend to feel lost in life because we’ve lived through so much, and have had to endure many hardships. Life tends to harden us a bit and make us feel cynical and closed off. However, talking to a toddler might just make you feel better about life, because oddly enough, children seem to have this whole thing figured out pretty well.

8. Listen and silent are spelled with the same letters. Think about it.

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When you feel lost in life, remember to pay attention to what you hear in the silence. Quiet your inner world, and you’ll find exactly what you need.

9. Sometimes, you have to stop thinking so much and just go where your heart takes you.

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Maybe feeling lost in life results from overthinking. To find your path, follow your intuition, and never give up. Stay persistent, and don’t allow negative thinking to pull you in too deeply.

10. You don’t have to have it all figured out to move forward.

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Sometimes, just taking one step can show you the staircase to the door you’ve been searching for. It doesn’t take some grand plan to live a happy life. It just takes following your heart, and making a decision rather than waiting for the perfect answer to appear.

11. Never stop believing because miracles happen every day.

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Above all else, when you feel lost in life, keep your faith in yourself and believe in the universe. Suffering only takes place when we need to learn something from it, and darkness is necessary so that we may appreciate the light. You’ll find your way – just keep going and don’t let false thoughts discourage you.

5 Signs Your Partner Is Becoming Distant

Talking to a wall is what it can feel like when your partner is becoming distant in your relationship. You feel like you are lacking a connection that is meaningful in any way. You feel like a balloon adrift in the wind, just waiting to be popped.

A distant partner can feel scary. You worry about what could have happened to cause such a change. Then you wonder if you are imagining things as you two sleepwalk through your lives together doing only the things that need to be done and nothing more.

Let’s look at five troubling signs your partner is becoming distant in your relationship.

5 Signs Your Partner Is Becoming Distant In Your Relationship

There are ways to develop intimacy with your partner that aren’t sexual. But it’s difficult to have any intimacy at all when your partner is distant in your relationship.

You and your partner have created a bond based on trust, happiness, shared experiences, common thoughts and experiences, and a deep loving care for each other. Now things have clearly changed. What once brought you joy now brings you anxiety.

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1. You’re experiencing less intimacy.

Basically, the fact that your partner is becoming distant is resulting in a lack of trust, which means less intimacy. Trust is necessary for a couple to have intimacy because you are making yourself vulnerable to your partner during the act of being intimate.

If you feel unsafe with your partner, you do not wan to open yourself physically to them. If there is a lack of physical intimacy, dysfunction, or other intimacy issues, seek the help of a licensed therapist or counselor to help you reconnect intimately with your partner.

There has probably been very little cuddling, touching, massaging, hand-holding, kissing, giggling, or other sharing of closeness in your relationship. This lack of touch and sharing is definitely a sign your partner is becoming distant in your relationship.

2. You don’t know what’s going on

The lack of communication between you is disturbing. You and your partner used to share everything about your day. If you saw someone or talked to them, you would tell your partner and they would do the same for you. Now, the lack of life details that you know about when your partner is away from you is scary.

Related article: 7 Signs of Suppressed Emotions

You used to feel like your partner was your best friend. Now you wish you could talk to someone who understood how you feel about having a distant partner.

3. You are no longer the priority in a distant relationship

Something, or someone, else has taken your place at the top spot on your partner’s priority list that was reserved only for you. What used to be your partner’s favorite pastime (snuggling with you) has now been replaced by an activity that you are excluded from. Ouch.

This one hurts so much that it’s hard to admit that it’s happened to you. When your partner isn’t able to open up to you, they WILL find an outlet for their emotions.

Emotional cheating is real, and even if your partner is not telling you what’s going on, they may have found a sympathetic ear to confide in. Your alarm bells should definitely be going off.

4. Your partner no longer wants to have fun with you

Again, your partner left you out of the fun that they are having with someone else, somewhere else. Did you really choose not to participate, or did your partner wildly hint that you really ought not to come this time and made up a good-sounding reason’ This could be another painful reality check too.

5. You may not be included in your partner’s future plans in a distant relationship

You definitely should be being included in the future plans that your partner is making. If you have been left out of vacation plans for a weekend away with friends once in a while, that’s one thing, but being excluded from plans with their family members is a troubling sign. After all, you’re a member of the family when you’re in a committed partnership.

Another bad sign would be being excluded from plans with a ‘friend’ who could be someone that your partner is emotionally, or physically, cheating with. If any of these other signs is clear to you then your partner may be planning a future where they are physically distant from you as well as being emotionally distant.

Final Thoughts on an Emotionally Distant Partner

It is possible that your partner is a person who needs quite a lot of independent space. Perhaps they are emotionally distant by nature of their personality, not because they have a need to hide feelings from you as they withdraw from the relationship.

Attachment theory in psychology describes a way that people develop secure or insecure relationships with others. Withdrawing from the partnership is a sign that your partner is detaching from the secure partnership.

One other possibility exists for your partner being emotionally distant; it could be all in your head. Researchers say that ‘those who have an avoidant [personality] style typically develop models of themselves as being suspicious, aloof, and skeptical and of significant others as being basically unreliable or overly eager to commit themselves to relationships.’ It’s time for a serious talk with your partner to find out if you are just insecure or if your partner is becoming emotionally distant in your relationship.

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