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5 Signs She Is Not The One For You

Do you see any of these five signs of potential trouble in the woman you love? If so, then she might not be The One for you. It’s not always easy to come to terms with the fact that you aren’t compatible. The good news is that you might be able to fix things.

A relationship disconnect is very hard to repair when love and expectations do not match up. It might be better to walk away from the relationship instead of marrying her if she’s not the one true love for you. You and she both deserve a joyful life, full of peace of mind.

When you are looking for The One, you must be compatible with her in what is most important to you. However, you must also be ready to change part of your life to fit the needs of the most important woman. Your own beliefs, opinions, expectations, feelings, and actions can determine whether or not she is The One for you.

Note: These signs can apply to either men or women. Consider them a good rule of thumb, regardless of gender. We based this article based on psychological studies of women, whose behavior sometimes differs from that of men. You can also read our article on signs that he is not right for you.

5 Signs She Is Not “The One” For You

One thing to remember when looking for the woman who will be The One for you is the reality of age. If your love interest is younger than fifty, she may still be interested in having children with someone she sees as an excellent potential father. Researchers found that reproductive drives often push mate selection for women. Researchers say that women who can find a high-earning mate tend to have more children. Also, with a mate who earns more, her children will be healthier and more likely to carry on her genetic line by having their own children.

So if you do not want to start a family and you learn that she does, respectfully part ways so that you can both have all you want in life. Please read on if you and your partner are on the same page on this very urgent issue.

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1. She is not the one for you if you wish to change her

People are capable of change, but only if they want to. If you want her to change something about herself, it will hurt her self-esteem to know that you do not accept her as she is. That wound of hurt you have created by not loving and accepting her as she is will eat away at her and make her angry at you.

She can change when she puts her mind to it. If the change you want her to make is also one she wants for herself, she might still be The One for you. Ask her if this is something she also dislikes about herself and help her change. Otherwise, accept her ‘flaw’ as you see it, or move on.

2. She is not the one for you if you do not see her as an equal

Preferences for character traits like a sense of humor are different for women in different cultures, but one thing any woman is looking for in a mate is someone who treats her as his or her equal. Respect should be an automatic gift you give any woman who you might think is the one. But true equality is more than that.

Treat your excellent female partner the way you would want to be treated. For example, make sure you both have a say in critical financial decisions if she earns less money than you happen to make. Conversely, many women today are primary wage-earners. Sso don’t be intimidated and put her down to make yourself feel better about her high income. Neither scenario is a recipe for success.

3. She is not the one for you if her friends and family don’t get along with you

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She’s had those close relationships with family and friends long before you came along. It’s not likely that she will dump them all for you. It will not work if you can’t play nice with her family when you see each other.

Ultimately, the opinions of those close to her are very important when it comes time for her to choose her life partner. You might get the boot if her friends think you’re not her.

When you spend time with her close friends or family, resolve to be courteous, not take anything personally, and find a way to have a good time, even if an evening with her family is like seeing the dentist.

4. She is not the one for you if you aren’t comfortable being alone together doing nothing

The initial attraction is insufficient to sustain a relationship with The One. Make sure that you are blissfully happy just hanging out with her. Picture yourself old and sitting beside her in a rocking chair and ask yourself if you will still be happy. Some couples have that easy way about them–and most people do want that, even if they don’t see it right now.

Alone time is a great time to check in with her and ask her if there’s anything she needs to talk to you about. Allowing her time to express her feelings while you listen is essential. If you can’t handle the touchy-feely talk time, it’s a good sign that she, or any woman, is not likely The One for you right now.

5. She is not The One for you if her future goals are not the same as yours

It’s hard to see a future together when your beloved wants to save the condors, and you want to be a world-renowned pastry chef, but weirder combinations of ambitions and dreams do sometimes work out for soulmates.

This future goal difference is only an absolute deal-breaker if you refuse to change or adapt your lifestyle to accommodate hers. What if you both moved to the Grand Canyon so she could save the condors, and you opened a pastry shop on the rim for the millions of visitors each year?

Even if your love does share some of these five signs in common, you might be able to repair things. Saving your relationship and making sure she chooses you as The One could be as easy as a change of mind on YOUR part. If not, it’s too bad because she’s not The One for you, but she will be The One for the person willing to change to help her achieve her dream.

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Final Thoughts on Realizing Your Partner is Not The One for You

You might be in love with a new partner. But unfortunately, love is not the only glue that holds together a long-term, successful relationship. Besides the warm and fuzzy glow, you must have compatible personality traits, share similar goals and values, and respect each other. Without those ingredients baked into every aspect of the relationship, the initial attraction will fade, and things will fall apart.

Love is hard. It takes work and commitment. But you will find it easier to find the one person for you once you know what traits will help you build a strong foundation for your love.

5 Signs Your Dreams Are About To Come True

Did you know you dream every night? When you sleep, you dream approximately two hours a night, but you don’t remember these nocturnal visions most of the time. You might dream in vivid colors or black and white. Dreaming occurs in all stages of your sleep. However, those you experience during your rapid eye movement stage (REM) of sleep are the most detailed and accurate. Some people say they’ve had a dream that came true shortly afterward. Could that be real?

Here are five signs your visions can come true.

1 – Your dreams are spiritual in nature

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If you read the scriptures, you know that visions were often how God conveyed a message to someone. For example, King Solomon received his wisdom in a dream. Do not forget how Joseph, Jesus’ earthly father, was told to take his little family to Egypt to flee Herod. Today, individuals believe that God still speaks through dreams. Dreams are symbolic, which can make them challenging to interpret. Even though your dreams are symbolic, it doesn’t mean they will not come true.

Sometimes, people you know or have seen appear in your dreams. One woman told the story about how she’d been praying about going on a mission trip to Texas but wasn’t sure what to do. She had a dream about Whitney Houston. At first, she couldn’t understand why she had dreamed about this singer, but then she realized her last name was the answer to her question about going on the mission trip.

These stories may sound silly in today’s world. But your visions do come true when you’re looking closely at the symbols.

2 – You sense your vision is telling you something

Dreams can pull up something that’s deep inside you already. For example, they may help you finish a project or create something new. In 1953, scientist James Watson dreamed about two intertwined snakes with heads on opposite ends. The dream gave him an understanding of a double helix, the structure and the shape of deoxyribonucleic acid, or DNA. DNA is in all cells of every living thing.

A long list of other creative ideas has come about because of the visions of famous authors, musicians, and inventors. These phenomena are hard to dispute because the world benefited from the books, songs, or inventions that changed the world.

3 – You dream about how you treat people (or how they treat you)

Researchers found that an individual’s dream was meaningful according to their dream. So, if you dream about a friend who protects you, then you’ll feel more affection toward your friend. If you envision that your friend betrays or hurts you, you won’t feel affectionate towards your friend. So, your visions have the power to affect your feelings about people or situations. This suggests that it can affect your emotions when you dream before you even wake up!

4 – You imagine hidden revelations

Because your dreams come from deep inside you, some individuals feel dreams reveal hidden truths you might otherwise miss. This type of dream is called an intuitive dream. For example, one person told a story about how she imagined she was diagnosed with a severe disease. A couple of months later, she found out she had cancer. Her mother had died because of cancer several years earlier, and she’d been experiencing shortness of breath and fatigue. What occurred was that her intuition brought up something that she knew deep down inside. Her vision showed her a hidden truth.

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5 – Signs a dream can warn you

Your nightly visions can serve as a warning to you. They call these precognitive dreams. This type tells you about something that is going to happen.  In 1860, President Abraham Lincoln reportedly had a nightmare where he was walking through the White House. He came up to a coffin surrounded by guards. When he asked one guard who had died, the guard told him the president had been assassinated. A few days later, John Wilkes Booth assassinated President Lincoln.

Some people said this wasn’t a precognitive dream since Lincoln had survived an early assassination attempt. But others believe his dream was a warning about what was to happen to him.

How can you make your dreams feel real?

If you want to make your dreams feel real, try eating these foods before your bedtime.

  • Spicy foods: When you consume them before bedtime, they elevate your body temperature and make it hard to fall asleep. You may also have nightmares because of spicy foods. This outcome could be because eating close to your bedtime increases your brain activity and metabolism so that you end up with nightmares.
  • Garlic: Garlic can give you some pretty weird visions if you eat it too close to your bedtime.
  • Cheese: Some individuals swear that cheese gives them nightmares. While others feel it depends on what kind of cheese you eat. People said when they ate cheddar cheese. They envisioned celebrities. Individuals who ate Leicester cheese drifted back to when they were young kids.
  • Tryptophan: Foods that contain this amino acid raise your serotonin levels. Serotonin can make you have wild visions. You will find tryptophan in chicken, salmon, lamb, flour, eggs, milk, and white rice. Cheddar cheese has the highest levels of tryptophan.
  • Vitamin B6: If you eat foods like bananas, oranges, fish, liver, nuts, eggs, chicken, spinach, or carrots before bedtime, don’t be surprised if you have vivid dreams. These foods contain a lot of Vitamin B6, which affects your dreams.
  • Apple cider vinegar: Drinking a couple of teaspoons of apple cider vinegar mixed in a glass of water before bed will cause you to have realistic visions.

Can you have better dreams?

You can’t control your dreams, but you can improve your sleep, which increases their likelihood. There’s no guarantee you’ll remember your dreams, but being stress-free and well-rested may help you recall them in the morning so you can get the most benefits.

Tips for getting better sleep include the following:

  • Get enough sleep: Most adults need at least seven hours of sleep every night.
  • Your bedroom is for sleeping: Be sure your bedroom is just for sleeping or romance. Remove the things from your bedroom that are a distraction, such as your television, desk, or exercise equipment, if you want to get good sleep.
  • Exercise: Exercise improves your ability to sleep well. Just be sure you don’t exercise too near your bedtime because it can prevent you from falling asleep.
  • Relax before bed: At least an hour before bed, find a way to relax. Take a relaxing bath, read a book, or enjoy calm music.
  • Avoid using your computer or iPhone: Turn off your laptop or iPhone about an hour before your bedtime. Blue screens affect your sleep.
  • Avoid drinking alcohol before bed: Alcohol disrupts your sleep.
  • Take melatonin: If you can’t fall asleep, try taking a melatonin supplement. Be sure you don’t take too much of this supplement because it can have the opposite effect and keep you awake.

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Final thoughts on signs your dreams are about to come true

You dream every night, even though you may not remember each one. Your dreams can have spiritual significance or warn you what is coming. Or perhaps they could reveal a hidden truth to you or affect how you treat people. Dreams aren’t understood by scientists, but well-known scientific discoveries, songs, books, and inventions have resulted from them.

6 Communication Mistakes That Hurt A Relationship

Conflict is one reason that relationships break up, and solving conflict is all about avoiding the communication mistakes that can hurt the bond you have built with your partner.

A study in the Journal of Personality and Individual Differences found ‘The most satisfied couples were those who did not avoid discussion of relationship problems and who rated their partners high in EI [Emotional Intelligence].’ Emotional Intelligence is your and your partner’s individual ability to detect someone’s emotional state based on verbal and non-verbal cues.

When your partner says, ‘You seem angry,’ they pick up on your facial expression, body language, and the fact that you are giving them the silent treatment. We do this often in a relationship, but we rarely think about it as a skill. Women tend to have higher Emotional Intelligence than men do, and they also perform more of the ’emotional work’ of the relationship.

Emotional work is the conversation and actions that people undertake to maintain a state of dynamic harmony in their lives. Doing ’emotional work’ means checking in with your partner’s emotions, asking how you can help them feel better, drawing them into a discussion about feelings, or checking their level of anxiety (fear), anger, or sadness.

Let’s examine some of the most popular communication mistakes that may be hurting your relationship and how to correct any damage that’s been done so far.

Don’t Let These 6 Communication Mistakes Hurt Your Relationship

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1. Shutting down

Avoiding talking, giving someone the silent treatment, turning your back to them, or telling them that you don’t want to talk is a way of refusing to solve the problem. It’s okay to let yourself cool off if you are experiencing emotions like anger and you are worried that you won’t say anything kind.

When your anger, fear, or sadness get the most of you, you are more likely to hurt your partner’s feelings in communication, which solves nothing. Instead of shutting down all communication, let your partner know that you’d like some time to cool down or think about things before continuing the conversation.

2. Taking things personally in the relationship

This one is tough for anyone who does not have a strong sense of self-love. When your partner says they hate it when you cook cabbage, it has nothing to do with your effort to cook them a healthy meal, so don’t take it personally.

Everyone has their preferences, and they have a right to ask you to do things their way. However, so do you. You have every right to make your home stinky with cabbage, whether or not it’s your favorite vegetable.

So whose rights are more important? Neither of yours. That’s where the divine art of compromise comes in. When you feel hurt by your partner’s words, look inside rather than blaming them for hurting you. Words can hurt, but only if you let them break you.

3. Making assumptions

Making assumptions is one way that people take things personally. When your partner says, ‘Oh for the love of Pete!’ as soon as they come home from work, we can make all sorts of assumptions. Did I do something wrong?

Again, let’s avoid unnecessary hurt feelings and ask your partner what’s wrong or if you can do anything to help. Maybe they had a frustrating day and just tripped over their shoelaces. You’ll never know unless you ask.

This quote by don Miguel Ruiz, author of The Four Agreements, says all you need to know about making assumptions and taking things personally:

‘The problem with making assumptions is that we believe they are the truth! We invent a whole story that’s the only true for us, but we believe it. One assumption leads to another assumption; we jump to conclusions and take our story very personally. Then we blame others and react by sending emotional poison with our words. Making assumptions and taking them personally creates a lot of emotional poison, creating a whole big drama for nothing.’ Your relationship should be a drama-free zone.

4. Filtering

Filtering is a type of mind game that you play with yourself where you only hear the words that you want to hear, be they positive or negative. Make sure you are not tainting your partner’s meaning with your desires.

5. Judging

You’ve already made up your mind that what your partner said was bad/good. You made a judgment call as soon as they began. That’s unfair, and you wouldn’t want them to do that to you. Wait, give them the benefit of the doubt, and suspend judgment indefinitely.

6. Waiting for your turn to talk instead of listening

You cannot listen clearly if you are rehearsing what you want to say in your head while your partner is talking. Active listening is a gift that you give your partner. Even if it pains you to keep listening about what the cat did today, listen like your life depended on it.

Turn your body and head toward your partner. Make good eye contact, mirror their facial expressions (match their excited face by raising your eyebrows with interest, etc.), ask questions after they are done talking, and make sure that you understood them perfectly, sum up what you heard them say. NOW, it’s your turn to talk.

15 Other Relationship Mistakes Every Couple Should Avoid

Communication issues aren’t the only relationship mistakes couples make. Relationships aren’t easy as they take work and constant learning. If you know the common mistakes, you can recognize them and address the issues.

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1. Not Being Appreciative of the Little Things

The little things in life mean more than anything else, but it’s easy to ignore or become accustomed to them. Don’t waste your time and energy obsessing over the big things because the minor aspects can add to so much more.

Remember that only appreciating big acts of romance will lead to disappointment. You may go a while without anything extravagant occurring, and that’s okay, as long as you embrace the little things while you wait.

Improve your situation by saying thank you when your partner does something for you. Make a conscious effort to notice acts of kindness and consideration.

2. Not Having Fun Together

A healthy romance requires having fun together and making time for play. You must be friends with your partner, and you must take time to enjoy each other’s company. The more you have fun together, the happier you’ll be.

3. Relying on Your Partner for Happiness

It isn’t your partner’s job to make you happy, so don’t rely on them for it. Your partner should be there to learn and share life with you, but it’s up to you to find happiness. Learn to make yourself happy, and you’ll notice a drastic improvement in your romance.

4. Not Setting or Enforcing Boundaries

One problem is not having boundaries in your relationship. Tell your partner how you want them to treat you and things that make you uncomfortable. Likewise, your partner must have the opportunity to set boundaries, too.

Boundaries help keep the peace in your romance and encourage respect. Once you set them, make sure you both enforce them. If you let the boundaries slip, it can create tension and a lack of trust.

5. Not Prioritizing Your Partner

When you think about the essential things in your life, your partner should rank near the top of your list. You don’t have to decide who or what is most important to you, so long as your lover is amongst the ranks. Not prioritizing them is a mistake because it shows you aren’t thinking about where they fit into your goals.

6. Losing Affection and Romance

Humans thrive on human contact, and it’s essential to a healthy romance. When you experience contact with your partner, your brain releases hormones that encourage loving feelings.

If this is a problem for you, create some new habits. Kiss goodbye, hug whenever one of you gets home, and hold hands whenever you can. These habits are just starting points for reintroducing affection and romance.

It’s easy to become complacent and stop making an effort for affection. However, it’s a huge mistake that could interfere with your relationship. Make a change soon so that you can refocus and embrace your romance.

7. Not Making an Effort

Relationships aren’t always easy, and you must make an effort if you want it to work. You won’t always agree with your partner on things, and you’ll sometimes have arguments. Additionally, you’ll sometimes have to do activities you don’t want to do.

If you promised your partner you’d go somewhere with them, make an effort to go. Likewise, do things that would surprise them and bring joy to their day, even if it takes a little work. These little things mean so much and can make or break your romance.

Another way you can make an effort is by refraining from criticism. Find other ways to express your feelings without making your partner feel bad. You can discuss things without hurting their feelings, but it’s all about making an effort.

8. Making Promises You Can’t or Won’t Keep

Making unrealistic promises is a mistake. You’ll eventually break those promises, damaging the trust you’ve built. Stop making these promises, and avoid blanket statements you can’t guarantee.

Don’t promise your partner that you’ll make everything better when you don’t know if it’s possible. Instead, tell them that you can try your best to overcome issues together.

Similarly, don’t promise to hurt your partner because you may mistakenly say the wrong thing. Hurting their feelings can make them think you don’t keep your promises if you had made the promise. Unless you’re sure you can fulfill it, don’t make a promise.

9. Believing Things Will Be Perfect

Many people expect their relationship to be perfect, but it’ll never happen. Nothing is ideal in life, and you can’t expect perfection from your partner. Please don’t get mad or frustrated when things don’t go the way you’d hoped because it’s all a part of life.

Look for progress instead of perfection, and communicate with your partner when you have a problem with something. Holding your significant other to an unrealistically high expectation can cause intense issues.

10. Lacking Independence

Many people get lost in their relationships, forgetting who they are. You both must remain independent, even as you become closer. If you don’t do things separately, it causes co-dependency.

If you’re co-dependent, you won’t know what to do if your partnership ends suddenly. It can also make you feel trapped and like you don’t have any other options. Some signs of co-dependency include not being able to run errands alone or consulting your partner for even minor decisions.

Do things without your partner, including spending time with friends and working on your hobbies. Don’t abandon your personal goals, either. You both must have a life outside of each other.

Sometimes you must learn to do things alone. If that’s the case for you, take some online classes, sign up for events, and do other things to foster your independence.

Before you know it, you’ll see the benefits of spending time away from your partner. It’ll make your relationship better and remind you of who you are as an individual.

11. Sacrificing Positive Parts of Your Life

Life changes when you find a new partner, but you shouldn’t sacrifice positive areas. Don’t sacrifice who you are and what you want in life. Additionally, don’t neglect your friendships and relationships with family.

Instead, get to know yourself and determine what you like. Figuring out who you are can help you determine things you aren’t willing to compromise. The right person will respect and encourage these things, so don’t settle into a romance with someone who won’t.

12. Expecting Your Partner to Be Everything You Need

You can’t expect your partner to be the only person to fulfill all of your needs. A healthy relationship requires recognizing that you must also take care of yourself.

Your partner can’t be your best friend, roommate, support system, lover, and assistant. If you expect this from your partner, it is hard to keep the passion alive. It zaps your partner’s energy and makes them feel like they never do enough.

Instead of expecting so much of your partner, build a community of people. These people should bring joy to your life while fulfilling needs and taking some pressure away from your partner. When you find a support system, you’ll notice a significant improvement.

13. Obsessively Search For Them and People They Know on Social Media

Social media stalking seems harmless, but it can interfere with your relationship. Looking at pictures of their exes or looking up every mistake they’ve made can cause you to make false assumptions. It can change the way you look at them and cause resentment.

Additionally, it can disrupt new romances because you form ideas without getting to know them well enough. It leaves little to talk about, or you’ll have to pretend to be surprised or curious about things you already know. Obsessively searching online can also make you feel insecure or unworthy.

It’s okay to do a quick search to ensure they’re not a criminal, but don’t go beyond that. Avoid the temptation to scroll their social media and look at the profiles of everyone they know. If you already scrolled, remind yourself that you’re only viewing the online version and not the genuine person.

14. Creating Unrealistic Expectations

If you try too hard to impress your partner, it creates unrealistic expectations. These expectations lead to disappointment because you make a false pretense. Be yourself right from the start, and your partner will know what to expect.

Then, you’ll know if they are into you before getting in too deep. It’s okay to be your best self, but don’t pretend to like things you don’t. Additionally, don’t pretend to be able to do more than you really can regularly.

If things go further, your partner will find out anyway. By being yourself, you can quickly get into a comfortable rhythm, allowing you to better know one another. You can go the extra mile sometimes and do something special, but don’t create the idea that it’s a typical occurrence.

15. Trying to Control or Change the Other Person

If you have control issues, it can interfere with having a healthy relationship. No one wants someone to tell them what to do every second of the day. Likewise, they don’t want someone giving them ultimatums.

Allow your partner to be themselves and make their own decisions. Don’t interfere, or you’ll disrupt their feeling of individuality.
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Final Thoughts on Building a Stronger Relationship

If you want your relationship to last, it’s essential to identify communication mistakes and other issues. When you recognize the problems, you can address them and improve the situation.

Healthy relationships require effort, but It’s worth it when you’ve found the right person. Use this information to help you make beneficial changes in your romance.

7 Signs of Suppressed Emotions

Suppressing emotions may be a socially-approved way to show you are not a ‘cry baby,’ but it may cause these 7 negative things to happen that can affect your mental and physical health.

Human beings share the capacity for emotion, which enhances our ability to relate to one another on a deep level. Expressing emotions in a socially healthy way helps you to connect to others, establish relationships, work cooperatively, and be a courteous, productive, and positive member of your social network.

Let’s look at 7 negative things that happen to you when you suppress emotions, as well as some ways to express them in positive ways.

7 Signs of Suppressed Emotions

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1. Losing interest in activities that were once fun

Suppressing the emotions of sadness, anger or fear is unfortunately a symptom of depression. People who feel pressure to hide how they feel are like an appliance that has had its cord cut. They have no connection to the outlet, so they can’t receive energy and use it to accomplish a task.

In a research study of men compared to women, scientists looked at suppressed emotions with regard to depression, ‘Men reported suppressing emotions more than women and women reported more depressive symptoms. However, suppression was only related to depression in men and not women.’

Does emotional expression prevent depression? Researchers are unsure of all of the factors related to depression, but this could be one of them. Women express their emotions and have the freedom to discuss feelings whereas men feel societal pressure to hide emotional displays.

2. Trouble sleeping

Sleep disturbances like insomnia, tossing and turning, and restless dreams can be a sign of suppressed emotions. Your brain is trying to work out the details of the psychological problem that you are dealing with, but you are forcing it to do so without your help.

While you sleep, memories are being processed and stored. But when you aren’t coping with your emotions, your brain works on handling the emotion without you at night. It’s as if your brain says ‘Ok we are sad about this memory, but we’ve decided not to show sadness, so where can I stuff it where it won’t be seen?’

3. Conflict in your relationship

When your significant other can’t tell if you’re happy, sad, angry, or afraid, it can keep them on edge. They may respond with anger at your lack of emotion.

A healthy relationship requires the expression of the emotions of love, care, concern. In our article 7 Things You Deserve In A Relationship you may recall that unconditional love is something you should be able to expect in a relationship.

A study in the journal Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin found that ‘Suppressing emotions was associated with emotional costs for the partner discussing his or her sacrifice.’ This means that not being able to talk about emotions that came up when one partner made a sacrifice in the relationship resulted in poor emotional health for the one who made the adjustment.

The researchers also found that increases in emotional suppression connected with decreases in emotional well-being and relationship quality as reported by both partners. The emotional suppression was also associated with thoughts about breaking up with a romantic partner.

4. Lack of commitment in the workplace

Hopefully, your manager allows you to express your emotions about changes that impact you at work, otherwise, you may experience significant workplace unhappiness. When workers suppress emotions at work, they feel less committed to the work, have elevated stress levels, higher heart rates, higher levels of anxiety, and experience overall less psychological well-being than workers who have opportunities to vent frustrations.

5. You feel tired a lot

Suppressing emotions takes up mental energy, so you may find yourself tired more often than usual. Another common sign of suppressed emotions is mental fatigue, brain fog, or distracted thinking.

If you’re having frequent ‘brain farts,’ then check yourself for suppressed emotions. Ask yourself if you may have any repressed anger, fear or sadness that you haven’t been dealing with.

Try writing down your feelings, talking to a trusted friend about it, or seeking a licensed counselor to work through it. You can find counselors online, through text crisis lines and in person. There are even counseling apps that you can use to track your emotions.

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6. You feel even more powerful emotions

Bottling up emotions can lead you to feel even stronger emotions. For example, if you are repressing sadness and another sad event happens, your response is likely to be stronger than it would have been without the additional hidden emotion.

7. Fewer close friendships

Suppressing emotions by changing facial expressions and body language is a type of deception. Perceptive people and empaths can pick up on something being wrong when others are hiding emotional responses. This can keep people from connecting with you on a personal level.

When we become aware of deception in others, like hidden emotions, we become fearful of other things that the person could be hiding from us. People who suppress emotions are unlikely.

5 Habits of Bitter People (and How to Avoid Having Them)

We all know bitter people and we think ‘I hope I never get like that,’ but do you know how to avoid becoming a bitter person?

Bitterness can have serious consequences for your life. It drives others away, puts a barrier around your heart that keeps love out, and it gives you a negative perspective that makes you think that everyone is out to get you.

It’s important to avoid ending up grouchy, grumpy, unhappy, and angry in our lives, which makes it important to identify these habits so that we can avoid them…

5 Habits of Bitter People You Need to Avoid

psychopaths

A habit is a behavior that you engage in regularly, often without any conscious awareness of it. You are so used to acting this way that you do it automatically, without thinking. And that’s the problem.

Habits that we are not aware of are usually negative. We suppress our feelings about our behavior because we disapprove of our actions on some level.

We know that acting bitter is not pleasant to others. However, complaining about past hurts is normal to a certain extent. We remember the things from our past that caused us pain and we continue to dwell on the past.

A personality assessment tool called the Reminiscence Functions Scale was developed to look at how people recall their past experiences. One of the factors that was identified is called Bitterness Revival. Bitterness Revival is when people spend time thinking about memories of old injustices and bad times, rehashing lost opportunities.

You might think that bitterness revival is something that older people would engage in more often, but research on this has shown that young adults are more likely to spend time thinking about bitter memories. Women also tend to score higher on bitterness than men do.

1. Being jaded

Being jaded means not caring. When you just don’t care about others it makes you a sociopath. The funny thing about bitter people is that they clearly DO care about what happens to THEM, just not what happens to those who have hurt them.

Unfortunately, a bitter person also tends to generalize their anger toward others who didn’t hurt them yet. The bitter person assumes that people are out to get them. For example, a man who has been through two previous divorces now sees all women as only wanting to hurt him. This distorted, jaded worldview now closes off the bitter person from being able to connect in a meaningful way with someone else. It also makes the bitter person more likely to lash out at others for their potential to cause them pain.

Remember that what you see is a reflection of you in some form. There is always work to be done on the inside to change the outside, and is certainly something to care about if you wish to live a sweet, not bitter, life…

2. Being jealous

Jealousy, envy, wishing for what you don’t have, whatever you want to call it, it’s unkind to others. You are basically saying ‘I hate that you have that because I want it.’ Jealousy is childish and it’s a habit of bitter people that you need to avoid.

If you want something someone else has, you can be happy for them having it, while still wanting it for yourself. Now take action to get whatever it is that you want and avoid becoming a bitter person.

3. Holding a grudge

Forgive and forget is not a habit of bitter people. Instead, they keep a tally of all the things that you have done wrong and they will present you with a list of all the things that you have said or did when you have your next big argument.

Don’t play this childish game either. When someone does something that you dislike, try to tell them right away that you prefer being treated differently next time. Otherwise, you come across as a bitter nag who can’t speak his mind.

4. They act out in attention-seeking ways

Someone who is bitter is likely to create a big scene, act melodramatic, and all but beg you to show them that they are the most important person in the world to you. No one needs this much drama. Please avoid this habit of bitter people.

If you feel a need for attention, work silently and let your results make the noise. You will be seen and heard, we can almost guarantee it.

bitter person

5. Focusing only on the negative

Be honest with yourself; if someone you loved offered you a date at the opera, would you be excited and open to a new experience or would you tell them every reason you couldn’t, or didn’t want, to go?

Focusing on the negative is limiting you to a tiny set of experiences that you could otherwise be having.

Your life could be fuller right now if you were more open and positive about new experiences, change, setbacks, etc. Don’t let yourself become a bitter person and avoid this bad habit.

It’s the attitude, words and actions that you take daily that make up a personality trait like bitterness and choosing different habits is within your power to control.

These Things Happen to Your Brain When You Eat A Pickle Every Day, According to Science

It turns out that eating fermented foods such as sauerkraut, pickles, and yogurt may help ease certain types of anxiety. Also, they might decrease general neuroticism. Nutritionists realized this after scientists and other mental health experts discovered that the stomach may influence mental health.

In one study of 700 students at the College of William and Mary, those that ate higher levels of fermented foods had fewer social anxiety symptoms. One professor explained it this way:

“It is likely that the probiotics in the fermented foods are favorable changing the environment in the guy, and changes in the gut, in turn, influence social anxiety.”

Pickles and the Gut-Brain Connection

pickles

The biological connection between the gut and brain has been known for a while. In relation to anxiety, scientists believe that good bacteria in fermented foods increase levels of a chemical called GABA. GABA is a neurotransmitter that has an anti-anxiety effect on the body. In other words, good bacteria that accumulate in the gut by eating fermented food may have a direct anti-anxiety, sedative effect.

It is worth noting that the gut’s ecosystem varies from person to person, so it is difficult to predict the necessary amount of pickles or other fermented food to achieve a sedative effect. On the same token, it is difficult to predict the degree of “anti-anxiety” effects by eating such foods.

While human studies linking fermentation and the brain are few in number, scientists have studied such an effect on animals. Previous studies have discovered a link between probiotics and depression or anxiety. In such studies, manipulation of fermented food intake had a direct impact on both personality and social anxiety.

According to Dr. Matthew Hilimire, a professor of Psychology at William and Mary, say this:

“Giving these animals these probiotics increased GABA, so it’s almost like giving them these drugs but it’s their own bodies producing GABA. So your own body is increasing this neurotransmitter that reduces anxiety.”

Scientists at the University also note the link between GABA levels in the brain and decreased inflammation of the gut. On this end, scientists discovered the lessening of adverse gut reactions – including gut leak and inflammation – and the consumption of fermented foods.

These results suggest that consumption of fermented foods that contain probiotics may serve as a low-risk intervention for reducing social anxiety. – US National Library of Medicine

Findings of the Study

The study’s researchers explain this gut/brain connection further:

“The fermented foods so often included in traditional dietary practices have the potential to influence brain health by virtue of the microbial action that has been applied to the food or beverage, and by the ways in which the fermented food or beverage directly influences our own microbiota…this could manifest behaviorally…”

Fascinatingly, the number of neurons in our gut is roughly the same number of neurons located in our spinal cord. There is actually a term for this neuronal arrangement in the gut, the enteric nervous system. Experts also call this our “second brain.”

Because of these neuronal firings, our gut is capable of reacting without communicating with our brain. In fact, some believe that cravings for certain foods may not come from the brain at all. Instead, they argue, they come from the gut.

Our microbiome, the community of bacteria that resides in our gut, changes according to our age, genetic code, stress levels, and where we live. Furthermore, this microbiome is capable of communicating with our Central Nervous System (CNS) and influencing our behavioral traits.

In the relationship between probiotics, fermented foods, and behavioral changes, other studies demonstrate a link between the gut/brain communication network and other changes in behavior.

In one study, participants were split into two groups. One cohort took prebiotics every day and one that took a placebo. After just three weeks, the prebiotic group had lower levels of the stress hormone cortisol. Besides that, they paid less attention to negative information and more attention to positive information when tested.

pickles

Final Thoughts on Eating Pickles Every Day

The bottom line is that consuming fermented foods – pickles, sauerkraut, yogurt, etc. – can initiate a gut reaction. In turn, that may relieve stress and anxiety in the brain. Also, we know that the gut does indeed have a “mind of its own,” and one that can influence our thoughts and behaviors. If we’re willing to eat healthy, exercise, and do the advantageous things necessary to promote gut health. Indeed, we may just find we’re better off in terms of our mental health as well.

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