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4 Messages From The Heart You Should Never Ignore

April 24, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Your heart is connected to something larger than your body. You may call it God, universe, spirit, gut, intuition, higher self, or something other than these names. Your heart will let you know when something is not right. It will also speak to you through messages, inklings, and signs when it is definitely on the right path. There is a battle constantly going on between the rational mind and the sensitive heart – and it’s important to tune into what’s going on between the two for your own well-being mentally, physically, and spiritually.

Here are 4 heart-centered messages you should never ignore:

1. Honor your feelings.

Ask yourself questions and then wait for the first answer that pops into your head. This is a sign of your heart speaking to you. Watch and observe carefully for physical signs and synchronicity around you. When things are meant to be there is no pressure or blockage. There is a flow of joy coming through you with a “knowing” that is impossible to explain. This “knowing” is your heart singing a song of certainty. We have been taught in our society that you follow your heart up to a point and then let the mind take over. The issue with this concept is that the mind will analyze and overthink what the heart has already set out for you to be true. This is second-guessing yourself.

“Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray.” ~ Rumi

2. Follow your authentic truth.

Following your heart provides you with purpose. Your authentic truth is your imprint in this world. Each one of us has a unique individual authenticity. When we pursue our dreams and aspirations the world opens up more in our favor. We get to create from a place of power. Following your heart means pursuing your highest calling. We cannot do or follow passion halfway in our lives. You must be all in.

Passion is your truth. You must trust your heart and your mind will make the distinction of what is right for you. When you come from a place of purpose and truth there are little mistakes. We must dare to be ourselves. Once you start living from your truth you will find that there is no need to pretend or care about impressing anyone else.

“Truth resides within each of us. I’ve come to believe that authentic truth is not so much learned or taught as remembered in the deepest recesses of the soul (self), the ultimate essence of the Spirit of which we all partake.” ~ Carlton D. Pearson, God Is Not a Christian, Nor a Jew, Muslim, Hindu…: God Dwells with Us, in Us, Around Us, as Us

3. Open your mind to endless possibilities.

Do not be afraid of confusion. This is the place that the heart and mind will battle over what’s right. Allow yourself the gift of imagination and go to the impossible. Life is full of unlimited possibilities and the heart will always entertain these because it brings out the child-like qualities in us. As children, we do not ask for logic.

Children act on their heart’s desire. It is said that the perpetual enemy of the heart is the rational mind. Somewhere after the age of six, we begin to lose that sense of wonder that anything is possible. When in doubt of what you need to do follow the inkling that still believes in the impossible without questioning the improbable.

“Listen to the mustn’ts, child. Listen to the don’ts. Listen to the shouldn’ts, the impossibles, the wont’s. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me… Anything can happen, child. Anything can be.”~ Shel Silverstein

4. Be courageous.

Listening to your heart also means finding the courage to go against many obstacles and naysayers around you. Your heart knows what’s best for you. This vulnerability sometimes comes with a price of judgment and criticism. Not everyone will understand your decisions. But, having the willingness to follow what your heart dictates serves as a freedom to pursue whatever you want on your terms.

Don’t allow fear to dictate your path. Courage is one of the most valuable traits in humanity. When you listen to your yearnings and intuition you will be taken to places that force you to grow and expand in consciousness.

“There are so many ways to be brave in this world. Sometimes bravery involves laying down your life for something bigger than yourself, or for someone else. Sometimes it involves giving up everything you have ever known, or everyone you have ever loved, for the sake of something greater. But sometimes it doesn’t.

Sometimes it is nothing more than gritting your teeth through pain, and the work of every day, the slow walk toward a better life. That is the sort of bravery I must have now.”~ Veronica Roth

5 Signs He Is Not The One For You

April 24, 2016 by Power of Positivity

You haven’t made up your mind yet, and the uncertainty makes you wonder if maybe he is not ‘The One’ for you. In this article, we will look at five deal-breakers that could be the reason you haven’t committed yet.

Your man is probably looking for someone attractive, healthy, intelligent, kind, honest, has a sense of humor, is dependable, and someone who has good communication skills. These were the traits that most men and women looked for in a study of over 200,000 men and women.

Researchers also say that heterosexual men and women ranked religion, fondness for children, and parenting abilities higher than homosexual men or women. They also say that the biological drive to have children leads men and women to search for an attractive, young, and healthy partner.

We mention this here because your search for the guy who is ‘The One’ may be very different if you have a specific goal, like raising a family.

5 Signs He Is Not “The One” For You

1. He’s not The One for you if he hasn’t finished growing up yet

Selfishness, being an egomaniac, outdated values, and jealousy are just a few of the psychological problems he might still be dealing with. Most adults mature and learn lessons about these negative personality traits because society disapproves of childish behavior.

If your man is still learning what it means to be an emotionally mature person, he may require too much retraining to make it worth your time. It IS still possible that he is The One, but it may involve a little change on your part. Keep reading to the end of the article.

2. He’s not The One for you if the future is all about him

Do your goals, dreams, and ambitions all take second place to his? Traditionally, the higher income earner makes decisions in a partnership, but that doesn’t mean you have to be second.

Ask your man to give you a voice in the decision-making process. If he doesn’t want to share the power to control your future, feel free to let him know that he’s not The One for you.

3. He’s not The One for you if he doesn’t understand emotions

We understand that there is immense cultural pressure for men to be tough and not show emotions, but The One for you needs to be able to express his deep love and connection with you.

4. He’s not The One for you if he shuts down communication

Another cultural guy trait is not being able to talk through problems. Your man can jump into action when you need him, but if you ask him to explain why he chose to spend $6000 on Superbowl tickets, he gets defensive and shuts down – or worse – he justifies his purchase based on how much you spend on your work clothes.

Communication is so essential for a lasting, long-term relationship, which is what you are hoping for with The One. Talking is how couples express their needs, make sure their needs are met, and make sure that they feel supported emotionally, mentally, and sexually.

5. He’s not The One for you if he’s broken your trust

Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. Unfortunately, if your man has broken your trust in the past, he is more likely to do it again. You can live with that uncertainty in your lives forever because, let’s face it, ‘The One’ is your forever mate.

Unfortunately, the stereotype of promiscuity for men is true. Researchers say ‘Men may possess three adaptations that make it seem as though they are generally more ‘oriented’ toward short-term mating than women: (1) Men possess greater desire for short-term sexual relationships than women; (2) Men prefer larger numbers of sexual partners over time than women; and (3) Men require less time before consenting to sex than women.’ This doesn’t mean your man can’t commit, but you should be aware of his tendencies.

If you feel secure that your man has changed his behavior for good, or you’ve decided to live with the possibility that he could hurt you again, he could still be your One. If you aren’t ready to forgive and trust him going forward, let him know that he is not The One for you.

Don’t despair if all signs point to ditching this man and moving on to the next One. People CAN change their behavior; sometimes, a licensed counselor can help unlearn old habits. On the other hand, adjusting your attitude toward your partner’s perceived ‘faults’ is all it takes from feeling that he isn’t The One to feeling like he is.

What Are the Signs to Know When You Do Find The One?

There are several signs that someone has found “the one,” including the following:

A strong and effortless connection: They feel comfortable, relaxed, and at ease in each other’s company.
Mutual respect and support: They support each other’s goals and aspirations and deeply respect each other’s opinions and decisions.
Similar values and interests: They share common values and interests and enjoy spending time together doing things they love.
Good communication: They are open and honest with each other and can effectively communicate their feelings, thoughts, and needs.
A sense of security: They feel secure in their relationship and trust each other completely.
Shared plans for the future: They have a shared vision for their future together and are excited about the life they will build together.

Final Thoughts on the Search for The One

It’s important to remember that everyone’s experience of finding “the one” is unique, and these signs may vary from person to person. Ultimately, finding “the one” is a feeling of deep contentment, happiness in a relationship, and a sense that this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. You might make a few missteps along the way, which is okay. Indeed, it will make you appreciate your true soul mate better once you meet that person.

5 Things To Remember If Your Partner Ends Your Relationship

April 24, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Whenever a relationship ends, you may experience loss, blame, and despair. During these difficult moments, you encounter tremendous vulnerability and shame. This is followed by resentment and anger. No matter how excruciating the moments get, please remember your greatness.

Here are five things to remind yourself if your partner ends the relationship:

1. The pain from a breakup is real.

Scientists at Columbia University in Manhattan, NY, have researched the brain of college students after a break-up using functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI). These findings have shown that when the participant is shown a picture of their ex-partner, the brain lights up just as it would through the exposure of physical pain.

You are not imagining the hurt and destitution. And, just like any physical ailment, it takes time to heal. Your heart and your mind will recover. An unexpected breakup is distressing. The mind and body will need time to truly re-adjust to all the events surrounding them. Time is the best healer but does not put limitations and expectations on it. The worst thing you can do is rush the healing process.

2. You are worthy.

After a breakup, we are left wondering, “What did I do? Was I not good enough?” Thoughts begin to create around your self-worth. You are worth more than a relationship ending. A lot of times it isn’t about what you did or didn’t do. Personalities clash. Relationships are powerful lessons and experiences. Instead of asking negative questions that bring your self-esteem down, why not ask, “What did I learn from this person?”

Focus on the good. You will carry the memories of your relationship with you onto other unions. Don’t allow what one person reflected on your emotional body to become the foundation for another relationship.

3. You get to push a restart button.

Your world has just crashed. It’s been hard. You were blindsided. Step back and realize that this is a wonderful opportunity to start fresh. You don’t want to chase after someone who doesn’t recognize your vastness and greatness. You want to flourish and be happy. Make a list of things you have wanted to do but your partner did not. Go explore those parts that bring you joy.

When we are in relationships we forget to take care of ourselves. We are too busy trying to make sure the other person is happy. You are responsible for yourself. This is a wonderful time to redecorate your bedroom. Get a haircut. Start taking a painting class. You have the time to do those things that are on your bucket list. Don’t put them off any longer.

4. Stop trying to substitute the loss.

The devastation from heartache is profound. Do not reach for something to fill the space or the hurt. This is detrimental to your healing. You cannot heal when you immediately fall into another relationship. That cookie or bottles of booze won’t heal the ache either.

Therapy is a beautiful tool for allowing emotions to come through in a productive manner. Meditation, yoga, and hiking are examples of positive venues for those times when it’s too much to sit alone in the dark thoughts of sorrow. Start a gratitude journal. Each day writes down three things that have made you happy. Readjust the focus on something other than the finality of a relationship. You will be amazed at how much better you will feel.

5. Love yourself and the world will see your greatness.

You know all that love you poured into that relationship? You know the way you prepared a meal with such gratitude? Why not do the same for yourself? When you begin to give yourself that kind of love and attention the world opens up to you saluting your magnificent nature. You are the best candidate for love and know yourself better than anyone. You have created a world around you and just because someone walked out of it doesn’t mean that the world ends. Self-love is not selfish. Loving yourself is the most healing source of energy you will ever have.

Breakups, divorces, and even the loss from death are life-changing experiences in our lives. Mourn properly. Allow time to heal those parts of yourself that feel shattered and broken. Make the time and space to love yourself and connect to nature. Your physical, emotional, and spiritual bodies will be glad you gave yourself the love that you so righteously deserve. Reach out to friends and family. You are not alone in this.

“One of the best times for figuring out who you are & what you really want out of life? Right after a break-up.”~ Mandy Hale

10 Signs Of A Scarcity Mindset

April 23, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Most people have been taught from early on that having money and abundance of any kind is a subject of fairy tales. They have been programmed to believe that there is only a certain amount of things they can reach. In Stephen Covey’s words, from The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, “The Scarcity Mentality is the zero-sum paradigm of life. People with a Scarcity Mentality have a very difficult time sharing recognition and credit, power or profit — even with those who help in the production. They also have a very hard time being genuinely happy for the success of other people.”

Here are 10 signs that you have a scarcity mindset:

1. It’s difficult to be happy for those who succeed around you.

The scarcity mindset doesn’t allow anyone to be happy for those who get a promotion at work, buy a new house, publish a book or anything that doesn’t involve them. The ego dictates the shots.

2. You are constantly comparing your worth to others.

You must “keep up with the Joneses.” Your self-worth and self-esteem are based on the comparisons of those around you. When you cannot keep up it becomes a struggle to keep going. Materialism determines your merits, virtues, and significance in the world.

3. You feel that when others acquire things, you have a less chance of acquiring those things.

You believe that there is a limited amount of things out there. Whenever someone reaches and grabs those things, like nice car for example, there is less for you to acquire.

4. On a subconscious level, you like others to fail.

You get happy when others do not accomplish their goals. You become very supportive during their downfall. But secretly, you rejoice in their inability to get what you believe is yours to receive.

5. When you win, you feel like you have conquered over everyone else.

You are no team player. You believe in survivor of the fittest. This type of mentality is narcissistic in its journey to be the very best at everything. They crave the title of success and they don’t care who they have to step on to reach it.

6. You are full of negative reasons why you don’t reach your goals.

The scarcity mindset is an oxymoron paradox. You crave for success but you find every excuse not to acquire it. You are a go-getter when you speak but you find reasons not to follow through with your goal. Then when others reach those goals you enter into victimization mode. How dare they take your success? They are not equipped to have that!

7. You have a difficult time sharing with others.

What is yours is yours and you worked hard to get it! Chauvinism is masterful for this mindset of scarcity. You become a child with selfish tantrums. The mind chit-chats, “I got this on my own. You go get your own.”

8. You are always trying to be in charge.

You truly believe no one else can do the job you do. You’ll be the leader at all costs. You have what it takes and no one else can possibly accomplish these things. This type of mindset does not allow for advice. It will never ask for help even when they need it the most.

9. Success means beating someone else.

You measure life based on fame, accomplishments and victory over anyone else. You get a tremendous high from feeling like you are the very best.

10. You ignore long term goals.

The scarcity mindset does not allow for long term goals. It is set on instant gratification. What can you get right now? How much can I get for this? Today is one thing, and tomorrow might be another because someone you know might just get that promotion that you deserve! You don’t focus on anything that can’t be reached quickly.

The scarcity mindset is not a genetic disposition. It can be changed, like the old saying, “Change your attitude, change your life.” You get to decide how you will survive in this world. Abundance is a state of mind. When you help others you are also aiding in your growth. When you rejoice in another person’s success you are bringing light into your path for success. Greed does not equal success. It’s temporary. When you continue to step over other folks’ toes, eventually you will be left alone. Your success is scarce based on your fears not because someone else has succeeded.

A shift in perception is vital in order to change from a scarcity to an abundance mentality. Your thoughts are your power. They are your own personal genie in the bottle. You can manifest wealth, health, and unlimited joy, or you can continue to determine your worth based on scarcity. There is no limited amount of supplies in this world. You have the ability to change every second of every day. Being vulnerable and accepting help is part of the process. This life is not meant to be spent alone. The joy and grace you give to others is returned with magical gifts.

“Worrying about scarcity is our culture’s version of post-traumatic stress. It happens when we’ve been through too much, and rather than coming together to heal (which requires vulnerability) we’re angry and scared and at each other’s throats.” ~ Brene Brown

5 Lessons To Learn From Being Single

April 23, 2016 by Power of Positivity

While many of us tend to feel happier in a relationship, you shouldn’t look at being single as inherently “bad” or less enjoyable. Even though it can seem lonely and emotionally unsatisfying at times to not have a partner, you can gain many important benefits during your time as a single man or woman. Society seems to push the message that we can only find happiness in another person, however, this is very far from the truth.

Being single doesn’t have to mean loneliness and despair; in fact, you might be surprised to find out that science has proven that some people actually do better single. Whether you fit into this category or not, you can still learn to enjoy and cherish your time without a partner, so that you’ll feel even more ready to dive back into the dating world later.

Here are 5 important lessons to learn from being single:

1. Love isn’t just bound to a relationship.

With the advent of modern movies, advertisements, and mainstream media, we’ve been brainwashed into thinking that love somehow only exists in romantic relationships. Sadly, many people still feel incomplete without someone to call their own, and can’t seem to find love unless they have a significant other. However, love shouldn’t have conditions – it should just exist and become your primary state of being. In other words, you shouldn’t have to have a significant other to recognize the abundance of love in your life.

Being single can teach you to not only find love in other people, places, and things, but find it within yourself, as well. When you cultivate enough self-love, you will then see the reflection of this love in everything and everyone else in the world. Love should be a state of being, not a feeling you can only have in a relationship.

2. You don’t need anyone else to validate your existence.

Being single can also teach you that you and you alone have the responsibility to see value in yourself. You shouldn’t look to anyone else for acceptance or assurance, because if you have to do that, this means you don’t see your own self-worth. Other people can boost your self-esteem or provide support in times of uncertainty, but they shouldn’t replace the value you give to yourself.

As a single man or woman, you can learn how to love and take care of yourself, so that you won’t have to rely on someone else to do this for you.

3. Alone time is recovery time.

Many people in relationships don’t seem to remember how to spend time alone since they spend so much of it with their significant other. However, alone time allows us to recharge, do solitary activities that we enjoy, and cultivate passions and awareness without the presence or input of our partner. When you spend time alone, you have the opportunity for quiet reflection and powerful insights, something that you can’t really get in the presence of someone else.

4. Another person should add value to your life, not be the sole source of your happiness.

Also, your happiness should come from within, not from reliance on someone else to give it to you. Other people should make you feel good and excited to be around them, but you shouldn’t totally rely on them for feelings of safety, happiness, or anything else. Honestly, other people can leave whenever they wish, so depending on them for our sole source of well-being doesn’t sound like too promising of an idea. If you find happiness within yourself, no one can take that away from you.

So, during your time as a single man or woman, you can figure out your likes, dislikes, and what truly makes you happy. You get to discover yourself all over again, and nothing is more exciting than learning how to have a positive relationship with yourself.

5. Being single can provide you with the time to explore your own interests and hobbies.

Finally, being single allows you so much free time to do things you truly enjoy without having to check in with someone else first or see if they want to tag along. You get to be the boss and make your own decisions without the input of someone else, which can be totally liberating. All the time you spent with your significant other trying to decide what to do on the weekend or attempting to agree on a restaurant to eat at will seem quite taxing when you can just get up and do whatever you want on your own. No checking in with someone, no compromising, and no skipping out on things you enjoy just because someone else doesn’t agree.

Simply put, being single allows you the freedom, flexibility, and time to find yourself again, and learn how to truly fall in love with the one person who matters most – you.

Here’s Why Introverts Are The Leaders Of The Future

April 23, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Oftentimes, introverts feel that they must “correct” their personality in order to fit in with an extroverted world. To the introvert, the outside world can seem highly exhausting, overwhelming, and unnecessarily fast-paced. Our livelihood, politics, and how quickly and easily we make friends (among other things) often depend on us at least acting extroverted in order to mark our place in the world.

Introverts often feel like they don’t fit in with the current world where endless self-promotion supersedes quiet reflection. However, introverts certainly have an important role to play in our society, and have a lot of value to add to businesses, friendships, and the way the world will be shaped in the future…

Introverts can sometimes be mistaken for being shy, uncaring, or otherwise uninterested in their surroundings, but their brains are simply wired differently than that of extroverts. Introverts feel most energized alone, whereas extroverts obtain their energy from external sources. Researchers estimate that extroverts make up anywhere between 50-74 percent of the population.

So, what types of things do introverts excel in, and what does this mean for the future? We will explain in further detail below.

Here’s why introverts are the leaders of the future:

1. They have wonderful listening skills.

Introverts care about what other people say (at least, when they talk about highly intelligent, interesting topics), and consider each conversation as an opportunity for learning and stimulation. They don’t just hear what you say – they ask questions to gain understanding, look you in the eye, and make sure you’ve finished what you have to say before responding. They talk less than they listen, but this makes them wonderful leaders, friends, and people in general.

2. They tend to have a greater awareness of their feelings.

Introverts have great intuition, and know their emotions on a deep level. They might cancel plans if they feel too tired or not up for socializing. And to them, that just means they are listening to their inner voice. They don’t apologize for how they feel; they just go with the flow and listen to their emotions.

3. They also empathize with others’ emotions.

In addition to knowing exactly how they feel at all times, introverts can read anyone like an open book. They have an uncanny ability to feel what others feel, and to empathize with them.

4. Introverts don’t feel remorse for taking some “me time.”

Introverts don’t feel sorry for taking time to pamper themselves and make sure their well-being is taken care of. In today’s stressed out, fast-paced world, they know how important “me time” is to the mind, body, and spirit.

5. Introverts know themselves on a deep level.

Introverts gain their energy from being alone, obviously, which gives them plenty of time to know themselves inside and out. They may struggle with self-confidence at times, but at the end of the day, they realize the importance of self-love, and try to look at themselves in a positive light.

6. They have a deep appreciation for all life.

Introverts naturally gravitate towards non-human animals, most likely for two reasons: 1) They don’t talk, which gets rid of the hardest component of a relationship with humans. 2) They are cuddly and fuzzy (well, most of them that humans would interact with, anyway), so introverts see this as comforting and healing.

7. They don’t shy away from important topics.

If you want small talk, you’d better just forget about connecting with an introvert. While introverts can fake the small talk, this isn’t their area of expertise. These people thrive on connecting with people in a much deeper way, which means you will never get bored around them.

8. Introverts think before they speak.

Introverts mull over what they want to say before speaking, and listen to the other person in entirety before they even begin to formulate a response. This is why some people think they are not as good at talking compared to extroverts, since it takes them much longer to gather their thoughts. However, this just means they are making sure they say the right thing before letting the words leave their lips.

9. They feel more comfortable in the natural world.

Introverts love nature – it provides time for quiet reflection, away from the noise and chaos of modern living. They don’t have to cultivate energy for socializing or getting ready for a party or other social engagement – they can just enjoy the world around them for a while, without any responsibilities or distractions.

10. Introverts have a knack for creativity.

Introverts use their imagination and innovative abilities to bring important new discoveries into this world. While extroverts can do this as well, introverts tend to think over all the possibilities before diving headfirst into any sort of new endeavor, which makes the final product even better.

11. They seek answers within.

Introverts know that the answers to life’s burning questions lie within them, and spend plenty of time trying to make sense of the world around them.

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Here are 4 heart-centered messages you should never ignore:

1. Honor your feelings.

2. Follow your authentic truth.

3. Open your mind to endless possibilities.

4. Be courageous.

5 Signs He Is Not “The One” For You

1. He’s not The One for you if he hasn’t finished growing up yet

2. He’s not The One for you if the future is all about him

3. He’s not The One for you if he doesn’t understand emotions

4. He’s not The One for you if he shuts down communication

5. He’s not The One for you if he’s broken your trust

What Are the Signs to Know When You Do Find The One?

Final Thoughts on the Search for The One

Here are five things to remind yourself if your partner ends the relationship:

1. The pain from a breakup is real.

2. You are worthy.

3. You get to push a restart button.

4. Stop trying to substitute the loss.

5. Love yourself and the world will see your greatness.

Here are 10 signs that you have a scarcity mindset:

1. It’s difficult to be happy for those who succeed around you.

2. You are constantly comparing your worth to others.

3. You feel that when others acquire things, you have a less chance of acquiring those things.

4. On a subconscious level, you like others to fail.

5. When you win, you feel like you have conquered over everyone else.

6. You are full of negative reasons why you don’t reach your goals.

7. You have a difficult time sharing with others.

8. You are always trying to be in charge.

9. Success means beating someone else.

10. You ignore long term goals.

Here are 5 important lessons to learn from being single:

1. Love isn’t just bound to a relationship.

2. You don’t need anyone else to validate your existence.

3. Alone time is recovery time.

4. Another person should add value to your life, not be the sole source of your happiness.

5. Being single can provide you with the time to explore your own interests and hobbies.

Here’s why introverts are the leaders of the future:

1. They have wonderful listening skills.

2. They tend to have a greater awareness of their feelings.

3. They also empathize with others’ emotions.

4. Introverts don’t feel remorse for taking some “me time.”

5. Introverts know themselves on a deep level.

6. They have a deep appreciation for all life.

7. They don’t shy away from important topics.

8. Introverts think before they speak.

9. They feel more comfortable in the natural world.

10. Introverts have a knack for creativity.

11. They seek answers within.

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