Inspiration to your inbox

7 Signs It Won’t Get Past The First Date

Our high expectations for potential love at first sight are one reason there’s pressure on a first date, but there are at least 7 signs that this potential partner clearly won’t give you the love you deserve.

We have a lot of expectations on a first date. Researchers studying peoples expectations for a first date found that people stuck to traditional gender roles; people expect women on a first date to be concerned about their appearance, talk more, and to control access to sex, whereas expectations for men focused on planning, paying for, and orchestrating the date.

Not to put any pressure on you, but all of these expectations are probably already on your mind when you go on a first date, even if you were only worrying about what your date thinks about you. But it’s okay, you might still have hope of finding your true love if you can relax, be yourself, and remember what is most important to you in finding the right partner.

But what if your date is rude, gross, not your type, or worse? Is it easy to see the signs? To help place these potential red flags in your mind’s eye, we’ve compiled these warning signs:

7 Signs It Won’t Get Past The First Date…

1. Your date shows disrespect toward you or others

If your date belittles others, based on their appearance, social status, race, political party, gender or any other group that we can think of, you can be sure to expect them to disrespect you at some point in the future. Why wait for that time to come before you leave? Picking on other people is disrespectful and disrespect is surely a sign there may be no chance.

2. Your date has already tried to push your boundaries

Researchers studying communication and sexual expectations for first dates found that ‘men have higher sexual expectations than do women, and that participants’ sexual expectations are heightened when alcohol is available.’ Just something to keep in mind is that if you are drinking, your date may already have their hopes high for sex.

If your date has tried to pressure or manipulate you, whether it is for sex or anything that you do not want to do, take it as a sign of future manipulation in your relationship. If they can’t respect your wishes on a first date, when will they?

3. You have a bad gut feeling

Gut feelings have saved people from being in the wrong place at the wrong time, and in one case for a Reddit user, listening to their gut instinct help them avoid the Virginia Tech shootings that killed 32 students.

If your gut is speaking to you, pay very close attention. Absorb all of the details of the person you are speaking to. Remove your filter of ‘probably a nice person’ and look again. Would you hire this person to work for you? What signs of trust or distrust are you getting? Are you in a safe location where you can get to help if you need it? When in doubt, trust that your gut is alerting you to possible danger and get out, quickly and safely.

Related Article: 5 Gut Instincts You Should Never Ignore

4. Your first date shows signs of selfishness, deceit, or anger

Some personality traits are understandable once in a while, like wanting the last cookie for yourself, but if your partner acted selfish all the time, you’d hit the road.

Why waste time with someone who still hasn’t learned to share, much less to put someone else’s needs first? The same is true for any other negative personality trait that you dislike. This could be jealousy, anxiety, immaturity, or even negative personal habits that push all the wrong buttons for you.

People can change, but only if they want to. On a first date, you expect this person’s best. If they can’t give you that for even an hour or two, how can they be expected to behave differently over the course of our relationship?

5. Your first date is checking out other people

This one might be fine with you if you are not into monogamy, but most people at least expect their date to refrain from drooling over other possible romantic conquests while in their presence. Maybe they picked up on your cue that nothing sexual will be happening so they are already on to their “next prey”.

6. Your first date has goals that are not compatible and neither of you is interested in changing.

You like each other, but you can tell that your date is not likely to give up on that law school dream while you are planning to live in Paris and teach people to paddleboard on the Seine. If your first date is hooked on something so far from your goal, it might be a good idea to reconsider the second date unless one of you can out things aside for the other.

Related article: 5 Things That Happen When You Meet Your Soulmate

On the other hand, maybe your date could switch to international law and the two of you could still be on to a big adventure together. Life goals are a big topic for a first date, but if you’re in a hurry to move on to building your dream life, you might want to rush into these big discussions rather than spend time with someone who will only hold you back.

7. They expect you to be something other than your best self

You may have some flaws, but your date has a huge one if they want you to be anything other than the best version of you that you can be. If your first date is already trying to change something about you that you don’t want to change, it’s time to walk out gracefully.

How do you kindly let them know that it won’t be going any farther?

Thank your date for making time to meet you and tell them that you are looking for someone that has your best interests at heart, shares your goals, and that you don’t want to spend time that is not in pursuit of that relationship goal. Tell them goodbye and congratulate yourself on supporting your own best relationship interests.

5 Ways To Strengthen Your Gut Instincts

Many of us live with fear and anxiety dictating our daily lives. The more fear we carry, the tighter we hold on to the idea of control. We want to control relationships, situations, and events. As we go through our days, we realize that there is something deeper guiding us, and that control is an illusion. The most beautiful thing you can do to honor your intuition is to accept the messages without judgment. We begin to understand that these little whispers are there for a higher purpose. This inner guidance is an internal GPS that lets you know right from wrong.

Here are 5 ways to strengthen your intuition:

Related article: 5 Ways To Tune Into Your Intuition

1. Meditation and Prayer

The moment the mind detaches from the egotistical programming, you witness the space that flourishes and pushes intuition. Meditation changes the brain function by reducing the blood pressure and pain responses. It also awakens other parts of the brain that release hormones to help in depression and anxiety. The act of shutting down the brain and allowing for thoughts to come and go without controlling them is imperative for strengthening your gut reaction. Meditation allows for you to “check in” with the higher self. Making time for meditation and contemplation is important for reaching a higher state of awareness.

2. Visualization

Visual imagery is a form of stress relief. When you envision a happy place or visualize something you want, joy takes over. Bliss moves from a higher frequency in consciousness thus making space for intuition to take over. Visualization has no limitations. Your mind is able to create anything it desires. You can do this through various ways: journaling, painting, collages, writing, music, or any other tool that you can sense. We are moved through our sense of smell, taste, seeing, touching, and hearing. When you feel it through these senses the brain opens up and clears the clutter of negative thoughts.

3. Mantras and Affirmations

Affirmations elevate the state of your thoughts to positive intentions. The repetition of words helps with your intuitive levels. Daily affirmations create goals which provide powerful direction in our subconscious. Simply saying, “I am powerful. I am healthy. I am always balanced and centered.” are ways of stating and setting aspirations. Your mind, body and spirit are always affected by words, those you say to yourself and those you say about others. Making a practice of creating positive thoughts is an excellent exercise for the spirit.

4. Let go of the daily routines

Being spontaneous and breaking monotony helps create a balanced state of awareness. Playfulness and creativity raise you to states of euphoria. Most people have to work. Many have families and endless responsibilities. A break in normal daily activities helps overcome the “rut” of boredom. You get to decide today if you want to take a different road to work, or simply stop at that bookstore on the way back from town. You are responsible for your own joy-making activities. This simple gesture of switching things up helps raise your consciousness.

5. Detect, accept and reject.

You are human. Things will come up with self-doubt and issues of insecurity. When these things come up remember to detect them. Don’t ignore their presence. Sometimes it’s about allowing a release. Secondly, accept whatever it’s trying to move through you. Honor those emotions. You are who you are because of all that has happened to you in the past. Thirdly, reject what is not of importance. The more you disconnect from drama from others (or your own) the easier it is to listen to your inner voice. Sometimes old programming and beliefs come up when you are making a decision. Detect these stories. Accept what you can from them and reject the rest.

The mind is powerful. When we allow it to do its job without demands, judgment, and control it produces magic. Most of us live in rigid states of stress. Shutting down the ego and letting our higher self guide is the best thing you can do in your life for yourself. Your intention is your mind’s hidden potential that is there for everything you want and need. It’s like having your own genie in a bottle. The only way to strengthen intuition is to be guided by your feelings.

Intuition is the highest form of intelligence, transcending all individual abilities and skills.” ~ Sylvia Clare

11 Life Lessons From Bruce Lee

Most people recognize Bruce Lee as a renowned martial artist and action film actor, but along with his incredible athleticism, strength, and poise, he also left behind many important life lessons. It takes a lot of dedication, determination, and willpower to reach the level that Bruce Lee did with martial arts, and many people have considered him one of the most influential martial artists of all time. Along his journey in life, he gained much wisdom that he shared with the rest of the world that we can still apply to our lives today.

Learn from these wise life lessons from Bruce Lee.

Here are 11 life changing lessons from Bruce Lee:

Related article: 11 Life Lessons To Learn From John Lennon

1. Live your life to the fullest.

“If you truly love life, don’t waste time because time is what life is made of.”

“Real living is living for others.”

“Knowing is not enough, we must apply. Willing is not enough, we must do.”

“To hell with circumstances; I create opportunities”.

“The key to immortality is first living a life worth remembering”.

2. Embrace your mistakes.

“Don’t fear failure. — Not failure, but low aim, is the crime. In great attempts it is glorious even to fail.”

“Mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them.”

“Those who are unaware they are walking in darkness will never seek the light.”

3. Your mind is the greatest enemy, unless you learn to master it.

“Defeat is a state of mind; no one is ever defeated until defeat has been accepted as a reality.”

“Do not allow negative thoughts to enter your mind for they are the weeds that strangle confidence.”

“As you think, so shall you become.”

“A quick temper will make a fool of you soon enough.”

4. Don’t try to control reality – just go with the flow.

“The great mistake is to anticipate the outcome of the engagement; you ought not to be thinking of whether it ends in victory or defeat. Let nature take its course, and your tools will strike at the right moment.”

“In order to control myself I must first accept myself by going with and not against my nature.”

5. Simplify your mind, simplify your life.

“It’s not the daily increase but daily decrease. Hack away at the unessential.”

“If you spend too much time thinking about a thing, you’ll never get it done.”

“Be happy, but never satisfied.”

“Absorb what is useful, discard what is useless and add what is specifically your own”

6. Only focus on becoming the best version of yourself.

“I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.”

“?The successful warrior is the average man, with laser-like focus.”

“Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself – do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it.”

“For it is easy to criticize and break down the spirit of others, but to know yourself takes a lifetime.”

“To know oneself is to study oneself in action with another person”.

7. Push yourself past the comfort zone.

“If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them.”

“Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one”

“In the middle of chaos lies opportunity”

8. You can achieve success through persistence, but more than that, believing in yourself.

“Life’s battles don’t always go to the stronger or faster man. But sooner or later the man who wins, is the man who thinks he can.”

“Remember no man is really defeated unless he is discouraged.”

“I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times.”

“The doubters said,
“Man can not fly,”
The doers said,
“Maybe, but we’ll try,”
And finally soared
In the morning glow
While non-believers
Watched from below.”

9. Stay humble.

“Showing off is the fool’s idea of glory.”

10. Don’t be afraid to walk the path alone.

“Only the self-sufficient stand alone – most people follow the crowd and imitate.”

muhammad ali quote11. Always know your self-worth.

“The more we value things, the less we value ourselves”

“It is not a shame to be knocked down by other people. The important thing is to ask when you’re being knocked down, ‘Why am I being knocked down?’ If a person can reflect in this way, then there is hope for this person.”

10 Reasons Animal Lovers Make The Best Relationship Partners

Have you ever been in a relationship with someone with a pet at home? Maybe you noticed it, and maybe you didn’t, but there’s something extra special about those who love their furry friends that also choose to love us. With an animal lover for a partner, you are sure to feel the full emotion and devotion of a loyal heart that’s wagging in time with the tail of their furry pal. Here’s why…

10 Reasons Animal Lovers Make The Best Relationship Partners

animal lovers

1. Animal lovers make the best relationship partners because they anticipate your needs

As much as we wish they would, our beloved pets cannot speak their wishes to us. Animal lovers make better partners because they learn to read subtle cues and provide what is needed for the ones they love. As one researcher put it, ‘Neither infants nor animals have words to express their needs, and so it is left to the caregiver to anticipate and provide for those needs.’

2. Animal lovers make the best relationship partners because they are comfortable with gross stuff

Well, any animal lover has had to clean up after Felix or Fido enough times to know that sometimes, it can be grossly loving a pet. Pet owners everywhere have had their share of messy love, from hairballs to broken baggies.

But, the good news for you is that if your partner is an animal lover, they will be comfortable with how you smell two days after you should have had a shower. Your animal-loving partner will also have no problems with bodily fluids; yours or their own.

3. Animal lovers make the best relationship partners because they can find fun in the messiness

Chocolate syrup, whipped cream, or coconut oil…having an animal lover for a partner is better because they are laid back enough to find fun in getting messy. Cleaning up is part of the fun, too, just don’t shake the water off them.

4. Animal lovers make the best relationship partners because they know what it means to love unconditionally

Animals love giving love to us, and they give it freely. Animal lovers make better partners because they have received the unconditional love of a pet, and they try to give the same love to both animals and the important people in their lives.

All the physical activity involved with owning a dog will also keep your animal-loving partner more physically fit. That translates to more stamina, which means longer fun sessions in bed.

5. Animal lovers make better relationship partners because they believe in love at first sight

Most pet parents will tell you that their animal chose THEM, not the other way around. Many also feel that they were destined to be with their animal. Many others believe that a current pet is the reincarnation of a childhood pet.

Animal lovers feel about their pets like Hollywood depicts star-crossed lovers. These two were destined for each other. It’s hard to be upset about their passion when your partner is so romantic about their puppy or kitty love.

6. Animal lovers make better relationship partners because they are better caregivers

People who care for animals form a relationship bond with the animal. Animals need people for basic care such as food, water, bedding, and veterinary care. In return for being such excellent caregivers, animal lovers receive companionship and affection and give those to their pets and humans.

7. Animal lovers make better relationship partners because they make better parents

Raising animals is much like raising kids. Even as adult animals, dogs can understand enough basic language, gestures and body language to know almost as much as a human toddler.

Our beloved pets sometimes test our energy, patience, and emotions, just like children and teenagers. If your partner can handle a pet with kindness and compassion, you know that your animal lover will also be a good parent.

When you have an animal, your family will also be more active with outdoor activities. A study found that families with kids and dogs engaged in more outdoor fun and had more social interactions than pet-free households.

8. Animal lovers make better relationship partners because they can handle a commitment

getting married

A relationship with a cat or dog can last up to fifteen years. Some domestic birds, turtles, and lizards live even longer than that. If your partner is an animal person, you know that they can go the distance despite training frustrations, health problems, financial setbacks, heartbreak, and loss.

9. Animal lovers make better relationship partners because they are positive people

Animals are excellent stress-reduction companions. The act of petting an animal has the physiological effect of reducing both heart rate and blood pressure. Animal lovers make better partners because they are less stressed out.

Dogs are so easy to make happy with a treat, and they are happy because of their lolling tongues, wagging tails, and exuberant spirits. Your animal-loving partner is probably just as easy-going, positive, and joyful with how they show you they are happy to be with you.

10. Animal lovers make better relationship partners because they know how to be loyal

Just like our animals would never leave us in our worst moments, neither would an animal-loving partner desert you. At the end of the life of a beloved pet, an animal lover is right there deciding to ease suffering with the veterinarian.

Animal lovers have such tender, loving, caring hearts, and they give love selflessly to their life partners, including the furry, feathered, or scaly ones.

Which Bird Personality Type Are You?

We love personality tests because they teach us more about ourselves, and now you can learn what your bird personality style says about you.

Yasir Osman of Leadernomics.com says the ‘DOPE [dove, owl, peacock, eagle] personality test divides people into four bird groups, i.e. the ‘neutral dove’, ‘analytical owl’, ‘relational pea- cock’ and ‘decisive eagle’. These bird groups represent different personalities. All the birds have their different basic desires, emotional needs, controlling factors and characteristics.’

What Does Your “Bird Personality” Reveal About You?

The 4 Bird Personality Test was created as a way for people to easily relate to the four personality categories. Because we are familiar with the 4 birds used, dove, owl, peacock, and eagle, we can relate the image of the animal and the typical personality traits that we might assign to each.

This makes it easier to remember your own personality style as represented by a bird. Representing personality styles with one of the four birds also helps you to picture a coworker, friend, family member, or romantic partner as a different bird personality style than your own.

Knowing the personality style of those around you helps you to partner better with them because you can see how they have a different perspective, strategy, and preference than you do. Each bird personality type has a different way of handling relationships, emotions, communication, and conflict.

personality meme

About the Bird Personality Test

Richard M. Stephenson of richardstep.com created the 4 Bird Personality test, also known as the D.O.P.E. or dove, owl, peacock, eagle test) ‘based off of the original four personality types test formulated by Dr. Gary Couture.’

We can easily understand the personality traits most closely associated with these four birds. We have seen representations of wise owls, peaceful doves, etc., so we can quickly categorize people as one of these four personalities once we know a little about them.

For example the following traits apply to the four bird personality types:

  • Dove – peace-loving and kind
  • Owl – logical and intelligent
  • Peacock – showy and outgoing
  • Eagle – bold and decisive

Personality tools like the Four Bird Personality Test can help people to become more aware of their own instinctual responses to conflict. A study by the Marquette University Law School found that these types of personality tests help people to understand the behavior of others, especially when it comes to negotiating conflict.

Knowledge of another’s personality gives you insight into their strengths and weaknesses. It also helps you to learn their preferred way of making decisions so that you can make sure to provide all of the information that they need, help them to manage their feelings about the decision, and try to create a win-win for both people.

Remember as you read the description that this is meant to be a tool used for guidance learning about strengths and opportunities, and helping you to work your best with other bird personalities. Let’s look more in-depth at what your bird personality reveals about you.

You can take the 40-question 4-bird (dove, owl, peacock, eagle or D.O.P.E.) personality test online through this link. Here are the summary descriptions of each bird personality.

Dove

The dove has a high emotional intelligence, while being very passive with communication.

Positive traits of the Dove in the four bird personalities:

Patient

  • Giving
  • Trustworthy
  • Introverted
  • Avoids risk-taking
  • Respectful
  • Honest
  • Reliable
  • Easygoing
  • Negative traits of the Dove in the four bird personalities:
  • Dependent
  • Predictable
  • Follower
  • Gullible
  • Dependent on others

Owl

The owl has a high logical intelligence, while being very passive with communication.

Positive traits of the Owl in the four bird personalities:

  • Introverted
  • Calm
  • Meticulous
  • Just
  • Mindful
  • Determined
  • Conservative
  • Detail-oriented
  • Careful
  • Curious

Negative traits of the Owl in the four bird personalities:

  • Distrusting
  • Self-centered
  • Indecisive
  • Vindictive
  • Short-sighted

curiosity

Peacock

The peacock has high emotional intelligence, while being very active with communication.

Positive traits of the Peacock in the four personalities:

  • Talkative
  • Open-minded
  • Energetic
  • Emotional
  • Charismatic
  • Social
  • Enthusiastic
  • Adventurous
  • Competitive

Negative traits of the Peacocka are these:

  • Scattered
  • Emotional
  • Selfish
  • Controlling
  • Dominating
  • Power-hungry

Eagle

The Eagle has high logical intelligence while being very active with communication.

Positive traits of the Eagle personality are the following:

  • Charismatic
  • Honest
  • Takes initiative
  • Independent
  • Driven
  • Aggressive
  • Motivated
  • Compelling
  • Fearless

Conversely, negative traits of the Eagle are:

  • Blunt
  • Unsympathetic
  • Egotistical
  • Controversial
  • Impatient
  • Pushy
  • Stubborn

The eagle is the most common personality type of the four birds, with just over 29% of the general population being an eagle type.

cockatielHere is one example of how to gain some valuable insight from this personality tool:

Ask your coworkers to find out what their bird personality reveals about them. If you find out that you are an eagle, for example, and your coworker is an owl, you may need to draw them into a conversation by asking questions.

9 Things You Need To Do If You Love A Taurus

Keeping your Taurean mate’s heart throbbing for only you is pretty simple if you do these 9 things for your partner. Earthy Taurus born April 19 to May 20 is rooted in the physical world and they relate best to the senses of touch and taste, which can be a wonderful benefit for you if your partner is a Taurus.

Many people feel a strong connection to astrology because the personality descriptions seem so much like us. Researchers believe that we may start to develop our personality based on repeated readings about our zodiac sign and descriptions of how our sign typically behaves. We feel a connection to the positive traits of the description, and we seek to change our behavior to be more like that of our astrological sign.

Researchers in the Journal of Social Behavior and Personality found that college students who knew their astrological signs, were more likely to feel a connection to a description of the personality for their sign (when they did not know that it was their own sign’s description) as compared to the personality description of another astrological sign.

At the University of Helsinki, Finland, researchers found that the belief in astrology could be used as a coping strategy for dealing with upsetting events. They found that those who believed in astrology felt that it gave support to their self-concept and that they could turn to an astrological chart reading for positive guidance during a crisis.

9 Things You Need to Do If Your Partner Is A Taurus

Don’t worry though because your Taurean partner is good in a crisis. In fact, your relationship should be easy for you if you can just relax, and do these 9 things that your partner needs you to do if he or she is a Taurus.

taurus

1. Let them set the pace for your intimate time

Your sex life is probably pretty outstanding if your partner is a Taurus. Not only that, but cuddle time is also pretty much mandatory daily. Taurus loves to be adored, and looking into your eyes, seeing your love for them, hearing how much you love them, is one of your partner’s favorite places to be.

Taurus can be quite passionate and energetic, so you may notice them initiating intimacy more often that you do. If your Taurus partner wants it every day and you’re fine with twice a week, you might be seduced on the days you’d rather pass.

2. Let them have it their way; most of the time

Partnerships are supposed to be equal, but the Bull is usually pretty bossy about their living space preferences, eating preferences, clothes, finances, you name it.

3. Accept their sometimes brutal honesty

Taurus loves you, just as you are, but they will also offer advice on how to make you even better. It’s up to you to resist, accept the feedback, or to let your Taurean partner mold you.

4. Let them express their gratitude with gifts

The easiest thing to do if your partner is a Taurus is to accept their overwhelming generosity and incredibly touching, perfect, thoughtful gifts that they give. Lucky you.

5. Honor their trust in you, always

Really Taurus is not that angry, rage-filled, snorting bull that some imagine, that is unless you break their trust. Taurus is so loyal and trusting of those closest to them. But you need to avoid angering the bull when your partner is a Taurus.

Before they decided to trust you, your Taurus partner was cautious in choosing you as a trustworthy person. If you break your Taurean partner’s trust, they may never forgive you.

good quotes

6. Learn to love routine and consistency

Taurus is not boring. At least they don’t think so. But they do like things their way, which means that dinner should be carrots Florentine, served in the dining room at 5:30, followed by their favorite TV show, cuddling under a blanket while sipping their favorite beverage for an hour, followed by – you get the point.

Your life is kind of planned out for you when you attach yourself to a Taurus for a partner. The good thing is that you won’t have any unexpected surprises from your partner, but the bad thing is that things are pretty much the same day in and day out.

7. Help develop their self-esteem

Only Libra rivals Taurus in the love of all things beautiful. Taurus likes what life has to offer; Venetian glass, hand-tooled Corinthian leather, imported champagne. If your partner is a Taurus, it’s important to bolster their self-confidence. Don’t be afraid to tell them they have excellent taste, make great choices in their clothes, etc.

8. Pick up on the MAJOR hints about gifts

One of the strange things that you need to do if your partner is a Taurus is to understand that they already have their own birthday gift picked out. They also have the perfect wrapping paper, card, cake, and dinner planned out. Just ask them; it will make it easier on you.

Now the hard part is trying to exceed your partner’s expectations. This may be impossible, but your Taurean partner already has their next 10 gift-giving occasions on their Amazon wish list, so head there for some inspiration.

9. Avoid surprising your Taurean partner with anything unpleasant

We’ve already mentioned that Taurus likes things planned out, and when your partner is a Taurus, you should avoid startling them with something they weren’t expecting, especially if it might upset their plans that they have had for six months.

Skip to content