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7 Signs of Concealed Depression

April 14, 2016 by Sarah Barkley

Concealed depression can strike anyone at any given time, but many people keep their feelings hidden. Someone you know could be falling apart inside, but they might appear tough on the outside, so they don’t feel like a burden to loved ones or cause themselves any embarrassment.

Depression affects approximately 264 million people of all ages worldwide, according to the World Health Organization.

Concealed depression can fluctuate in severity depending on events going on in a person’s life and vary in duration. Depression stems from many different factors, including genetics, diet, environment, personality, and chemical imbalances in the brain.

Sadly, many people who have depression don’t get the help they need either because they feel embarrassed to speak up about their mental health or because other people had made them feel guilty or weak when they tried to explain their feelings.

Twelve Key Causes of Concealed Depression

Knowing the signs of depression isn’t always easy, as people can hide it very well. Look out for the following signs of hidden depression regarding both yourself and your loved ones so that you and others may get the help you need.

1 – Abuse Can Cause Concealed Depression

If someone has experienced physical, sexual, or emotional abuse, it could cause depression. Even if the person believes the abuse doesn’t affect them anymore, depression can subtly creep in. Addressing the underlying trauma is essential to overcoming mental health issues.

Suppressing the memories and feelings won’t help, and turning to unhealthy coping mechanisms will only help temporarily. If you aren’t comfortable talking to someone close to you, consider seeing a therapist for help with your healing process.

2 – Medications

Surprisingly, some prescription medications can cause depression as a side effect. If you think this could be your cause of depression, don’t stop taking it without consulting a doctor first. They might prescribe something different, but continuing treatment for your other health conditions is essential.

Some of the medications that can cause concealed depression include:

isotretinoin (acne treatment)
interferon-alpha (antiviral drug)
corticosteroids (used to treat inflammation)
barbiturates (anxiolytics, hypnotics, and anticonvulsants)
benzodiazepines (often used for anxiety, insomnia, or seizures)
anticholinergics (for stomach cramping)
beta-blockers (blood pressure medication)

3 – Conflict With Others

If someone is genetically predisposed to depression, conflict with others can trigger it. Personal conflicts and disputes with family and friends can lead to depressive episodes. Likewise, conflicts with a boss or co-worker can cause depression as well.

4 – A Loss Can Cause Concealed Depression

Whether the loss is a death, a job, separation, or anything else, it causes grief that can lead to depression. Grief is normal, but when it begins to affect the other aspects of life, it might be depression. If the grief accompanies feelings of low self-worth, negative thoughts about the future, or suicide, it has manifested into depression.

5 – Women Struggle with Concealed Depression More Often Than Men

Studies show that women are twice as likely as men to become depressed. While no one knows for sure why this is, it could be that women go through many more hormonal changes. Men can still develop depression, but it occurs more frequently for females.

6 – Genetics

Depression can occur as a result of a genetic predisposition. Studies show that there likely isn’t one gene that contributes but multiple genes interacting with each other in different ways. Even having one contributing gene can cause imbalances within your body.

Having a blood relative with depression doesn’t mean you will have depression. Instead, it means that you can develop depression more easily during life changes or other unexpected situations. Plus, you could be more likely to develop depression triggers.

7 – Major live Events

Surprisingly, events that are supposed to bring joy can cause depression. Starting a new job, getting married, having a baby, or graduating are major life-changing events. The drastic change can be hard to overcome, and adjusting to your new life can trigger mental health issues.

Retirement also commonly causes depression, as people who have spent their lives working struggle to adjust. Since they once filled their day with a job, they might not know what to do with their day now. It leads to loneliness, feelings of worthlessness, and a sense of loss in their life.

8 – Social Isolation

Feeling isolated from others can cause depression, no matter the reason for the isolation. Some reasons for being alone typically include being excluded from social groups, struggling to leave your home, or being ill. When someone isn’t around other people that love and care about them, it can quickly lead to poor mental health.

9 – Serious Illness

If you or someone close to you is diagnosed with a serious illness, depression can set in. As you deal with the unknown and experience symptoms and side effects, it can take a toll on your mental health. Seeing a loved one go through an illness can affect you similarly.

10 – Brain Chemistry

Studies show that people with depression have different physical characteristics in their brains. It is still unknown how the changes affect depression, but the link is already there.

So far, the research indicates that neurotransmitters and the way they interact with neurocircuits plays a role. When the brain experiences an imbalance in serotonin, norepinephrine, and dopamine neurotransmitters, it becomes depressed.

11 – Hormones

Changes in the hormonal balance in a body can trigger depression. These imbalances may occur due to pregnancy, childbirth, thyroid problems, menopause, etc.

12 – Substance Abuse

People with substance abuse issues are almost 30% more likely to develop depression. While drugs or alcohol might temporarily make someone feel better, it will only worsen things.

What Happens When You Conceal Depression

Concealed depression affects the entire family as your emotional and behavioral health worsens. You could miss out on treatment options, hindering your ability to overcome depression. Even worse, concealing depression could lead to health complications.

1 – It Can Become Habit Forming

Concealed depression can cause the person to form the unhealthy habit of keeping things to themselves. Keeping things to themselves can further harm their emotional well-being as it doesn’t help them. Keeping things bottled up leads to the inability to let go, and the feelings only get strong.

People might convince themselves that sharing their emotions is a hindrance to others. They might feel like they aren’t important to their loved ones or that it might bother others. Plus, they might not want to receive unhelpful comments or opinions.

2 – Explosive Behavior

Keeping things bottled up can lead to explosive behavior and anger issues. It causes bitterness and other unhealthy thoughts and feelings, leading to detrimental actions.

Explosive behavior can negatively impact relationships with friends, family, and a partner. Sometimes, it even occurs at work, making things tense with your co-workers. People might start to keep their distance to avoid dealing with the behavior.

3 – Intense Feelings of Loneliness

When you hide your feelings from others, it makes you feel alone. The lonely feeling only gets stronger the longer the depression is concealed because you try to hide that anything is wrong. You might begin to avoid people you care about so that you don’t have to talk about your feelings.

Concealed depression can cause you to feel weak or like others are better off without you. It might even cause you to miss out on experiences as you put up an emotional wall. Anytime you try to remedy depression with isolation, it backfires and intensifies your negative feelings.

4 – It Takes a Toll on Physical Wellness

Some of the symptoms of concealed depression include fatigue, lack of focus, and loss of interest in life. You might become so sad that they experience an upset stomach, diarrhea, anxiety, body aches, and other physical issues.

Depression causes additional strain and stress, weakening the immune system and making you more vulnerable to chronic conditions. Left untreated, it can increase your risk of developing diabetes and high blood pressure.

5 – Fluctuating Energy Causes Negativity and Lack of Productivity

If you don’t get enough sleep or sleep too much, it can negatively affect your ability to complete tasks. You won’t be as productive as you should be and will become easily distracted. Plus, your mind won’t be ready to find beneficial solutions to obstacles throughout the day.

Not only does fluctuating energy cause a lack of productivity, but you’ll express negative energy, as well. Negative energy leads to bitterness, irritability, and impatience with others. Fluctuating energy levels might cause you to snap at others and say things you later regret.

6 – Unhealthy Dietary Habits

Concealed depression can cause people to find comfort in other ways, such as overeating and making unhealthy dietary choices. Other times, people find comfort in self-discipline and choose not to eat when they are upset.

If you struggle with this, you might skip meals or consume large amounts of junk food. You will experience sudden weight gain or loss as your perception of food changes.

7 – You Become a Risk to Yourself and Others

Hiding your depression can cause feelings of despair and worthlessness. These feelings can lead to suicide, as experts believe someone with concealed depression is more likely to have suicidal thoughts. You become a risk to others when your explosive behavior becomes physically or mentally harmful to those around you.

8 – You Miss Opportunities to Get Help

If no one knows you have depression, you could miss out on chances to get help. Someone you know might have experience with it, and they can give you their insights and advice. Or, they could offer emotional support to let you know you aren’t alone.

Here Are Seven Key Signs of Concealed Depression

Do you know how to identify concealed depression?

1 – A Loss in Activities Someone Used to Enjoy

Many people with depression find that they have no interest in doing much of anything, and just getting out of bed can seem like an insurmountable task most days. People who are depressed try to engage in things they once found enjoyable but don’t find these activities pleasurable anymore. For example, if you once loved to dance, but just the thought of getting up and moving seems like torture, you might have concealed depression.

2 – Lacking Energy Much of the Time

One of the biggest indicators of concealed depression is a lack of energy, which stems from the inability to sleep at night or the constant feelings of hopelessness and despair that plague the mind. Both of these can cause severe exhaustion, making it difficult for those with depression to get out of bed most days. However, you can combat these feelings by eating a healthy diet, drinking plenty of water, exercising, and socializing even if you don’t feel like it. Also, ensure you don’t schedule too much in one day to not become overwhelmed.

3 – Either a Loss or Increase in the Appetite

Another common symptom of concealed depression is overeating or losing interest in food. Gary Kennedy, MD, director of geriatric psychiatry at Montefiore Medical Center in Bronx, New York, says, “A sudden change in weight, either gaining or losing, can be a warning of depression, especially in someone who has other symptoms of depression or a history of depression.”

Both scenarios can lead to severe complications, so if you notice yourself having no appetite or eating to appease your emotions, you could be depressed.

4 – Regular Insomnia

According to WebMD, 80% of adults with depression have trouble falling or staying asleep. Patients who have chronic insomnia have triple the chance of developing depression compared to those who don’t have insomnia. Many doctors believe that most patients would see a drastic decrease in their depression symptoms by treating insomnia. While a couple of nights of tossing and turning don’t signal depression, not being able to fall and stay asleep over the course of weeks or months could point to a deeper issue.

If you find that you have trouble sleeping most nights, and you’ve noticed this happening consistently over a long period of time, you might suffer from concealed depression.

5 – Abusing Substances to Cope with Concealed Depression

Not only is substance abuse a common cause of concealed depression, but it can also be the result of this condition.

Many people use substances for various reasons, but it can indicate concealed depression in some people. Most of the time, people want to escape their minds and emotions for a short amount of time and easily become addicted to the substance since it provides the desired result. While this is a more obvious sign of depression, someone who abuses substances such as drugs and/or alcohol might try to deny their depression and say they use it for other reasons.

6 – Denial of the Problem

People with depression have become skilled at covering up their true feelings, either so they don’t have to go through the hassle of telling someone about their struggles or because they feel embarrassed. Either way, if you notice that someone you love tends never to complain and keeps their feelings to themselves most of the time, they might have concealed depression.

7 – Wanting to Spend Unhealthy Amounts of Time in Isolation

People with depression lose interest in many activities and people they once loved and tend to isolate themselves from others. A good indicator of depression is turning down social activities most of the time and spending most of the time alone in their own room away from others.

Final Thoughts on Signs of Concealed Depression

When someone has concealed depression, it can be hard to figure it out. They do anything they can to hide the issue, even going as far as to deny it themselves. Concealed depression leads to more life-threatening problems, so identifying it is essential.

Learning the signs is the first step to helping yourself or someone in your life overcome depression. Without treatment, depression can drastically decrease your quality of life and overall well-being.

9 Things You Need To Do If You Love An Aries

April 14, 2016 by Power of Positivity

If you’re in love with an Aries, you are bound to have a powerful romantic bond if you can connect with them by doing these 9 things. Aries is a dominant, energetic, strong, active, and passionate sign and you need to know a lot about what to expect from your Aries partner.

9 Things You Need to Do If You Love an Aries

According to cafeastrology.com, your Aries partner has these famous people in common with Aries as their sun sign:

Alec Baldwin, Mariah Carey, Jackie Chan, Russell Crowe, Shannen Doherty, Robert Downey Jr., Stacy Ferguson “Fergie”, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Ashley Judd, Lucy Lawless, John Madden, Conan O’Brien, Sarah Jessica Parker, William Shatner, Gloria Steinem, Vincent Van Gogh, Christopher Walken

When your partner is an Aries (born between March 21 and April 19), you are in for a wild ride with lots of energy and excitement! There are at least 9 things you need to do to keep your Aries partner happy.

1. Celebrate accomplishments with them

Aries is the first sign of the zodiac and they tend to be born leaders. To keep your Aries partner happy, make sure to praise all of their accomplishments, and there will be many.

Each day your Aries partner sees a new challenge that they want to take on. This can be frustrating at times because Aries is more likely to leave something unfinished if they lose interest in it. But your Aries partner has probably already moved on to their next challenge.

2. Keep them stimulated

Aries can easily get bored. They also have a tendency to be impatient. In this sense they can seem childlike, but you might really want to consider having an activity planned to keep them occupied, especially if you know there might be a wait involved.

Keeping your Aries partner busy is a challenge, but they will definitely appreciate your efforts to keep them moving. Tell your Aries to run around the theater as fast as they can while you wait in line for movie tickets.

3. Try something new

Let your Aries partner take you along to a new adventure, like zip lining or their most recent fitness craze. When you have an Aries for a partner, they will constantly be seeking new and different experiences. If you want to be a significant part of your Aries partner’s life, you will need to embrace all things new.

4. Help them or get out of their way

Aries is a leader and your Aries partner has a goal in mind. You can either help them accomplish it, get out of their way, or get mowed over as they push through you to reach it.

The most beneficial choice to your relationship would be to help Aries out. Ask Aries how you can help them get what they want and then show up with a huge amount of support.

5. Love them fully

Don’t hold back emotion for an Aries partner. Make sure to return their passion with the same intensity. Aries can be overwhelmingly passionate for their chosen romantic partner.

Aries is likely to feel a burning passion for their partner as a fire sign. The romantic partner of an Aries will have an incredible sex life. Be sure to include teasing in your foreplay with Aries, because they love the chase.

6. Simplify things

Your Aries partner does not like complicated things. You can help your partner by simplifying tasks into a couple of steps rather than 5 or more. Aries is the most likely sign to interrupt you and tell you ‘TMI.’

7. Be honest and straightforward

You’ve probably learned by now that your Aries partner does not like long stories that beat around the bush. Get to the point quickly for Aries, tell it like it is, don’t sugar coat it, etc.

Honesty is always the best policy when it comes to Aries. If you made a mistake, own up to it and get it off your chest immediately. Aries will have already forgotten about it when you do, but if you don’t come clean they might silently fume at you while doing their hardest workout ever.

8. Get active if you love an Aries…

An Aries partner is a very physically active sign. They will be at the gym before you’ve opened an eyelid. If you want to spend time with your Aries partner, you may have to take up rock climbing, hiking, kayaking, tennis and whatever other sport that your partner is into.

9. Have fun if you love Aries…

Aries can tend to be playful, innocent, and childlike in their appreciation for having fun. If you can get your Aries to crack a smile, and you creatively find ways to play with your Aries partner, you will have a smiling, happy Aries partner for life.

11 Quotes To Remember When You Feel Discouraged

April 14, 2016 by Power of Positivity

We all feel discouraged from time to time. Some days, we might run full speed ahead and tackle life with no problem, but other times, we might feel like throwing in the towel. Life contains ups and downs for a reason, so that we may appreciate the good times and learn from the hard ones. If you ever feel like giving up, just consult the following inspiration to get you through another day.

Here are 11 quotes to remember when you feel discouraged:

1. We’re so busy watching out for what’s just ahead of us that we don’t take time to enjoy where we are. – Calvin & Hobbes

2. It doesn’t matter if it’s a relationship, a lifestyle or a job. If it doesn’t make you happy, let it go.

3. Stop wishing your life was different and live the one you have, because it’s the only one you have got.

4. “Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.” – Albert Einstein

5. Go 24 hours without complaining. Not even once…then watch how your life starts changing.

6. Don’t be in such a rush to figure everything out. Embrace the unknown and let your life surprise you.

7. Ships don’t sink because of the water around them; ships sink because of the water that gets in them. Don’t let what’s happening around you get inside you and weigh you down.

8. The struggle you’re in today is developing the strength you need tomorrow. – Robert Tew

9. Do not judge my story by the chapter you walked in on.

10. Be patient. Some things take time.

11. Remember the time you thought you could never survive? You did, and you can do it again.

Here are some more tips to help you become encouraged again:

1. CLAIM YOUR JOY INSTEAD OF FEELING DISCOURAGED.

When life seems a little boring, realize it’s because of us, not because of a task, our job or the lack of a nightlife. We have the ability to create joy and excitement in everything we do, and it starts with our thoughts around the situation. It is not so much about trying to fix the situation or even ourselves as it is learning new things, finding the good, and focusing our energies on activities that have personal meaning.

2. FREE YOUR MIND.

We need to take the time to look after our emotional well-being by putting time aside every week for a yoga class or a little meditation. The relaxing breathing strategies involved in both will help eliminate stress and reduce anxiety. We will feel better, and will look at things differently.

3. MAKE LITTLE, POSITIVE CHANGES TO OVERCOME FEELING DISCOURAGED.

When we make small changes to our daily routine, it brings back the excitement. Take a new exercise class, read a book, or even just doodle – these can get you out of a rut and ignite your creative self. You will soon realize that the act of starting and doing something new can give you some confidence to continue creating.

4. REFRAME NEGATIVE THINKING.

Negative thinking is common, but it’s how we handle the thoughts that will either drain our excitement for life, or build on it. We can’t stay in the midst of negativity and hope to be our best selves. Understanding our negative thoughts and reframing them into thoughts that better serve us keeps us from getting stuck.

5. PRACTICE OPTIMISM.

An optimist is more excited about everything, not just life! If you’re not presently an optimistic individual, don’t worry – optimism may be learned. And it’s not whether the glass is half full or half empty, it’s knowing you can fill it up.

Teach yourself to see the other side, even with the small setbacks, little adversities, frustrations, disappointments, and letdowns in daily experiences. Look for the lessons and trust things will work out. When you do, it’s easy to get excited about the possibility.

6. ELIMINATE WASTED TIME TO STOP FEELING DISCOURAGED.

When we start to look at our day, we’ll probably notice quite a bit of time wasted on non-value added activities like Candy Crush, Facebook or mindless television. Wasted time is energy draining, and as mentioned earlier, it’s hard to get excited when your energy is drained. When you know down deep you need to do something, you will find the time and the energy. But beware, because time fillers have a way of creeping in.

6 Habits of Consistently Happy People

April 14, 2016 by Power of Positivity

We’d all like to feel happier, but happiness can sometimes seem like an elusive emotion that only certain people can experience regularly.

Happiness is a huge topic of discussion nowadays – you can walk through any self-help section of your local bookstore and see dozens of books on the topic. Research happiness on Google and you’ll notice that thousands of entries pop up. However, as much as people talk about happiness, do we really understand how it works?

While happiness means something different for everyone, you can actually do a few things each day to make it easier to feel happy.

Here are 6 habits of consistently happy people:

1. They get up early.

Studies have shown that people who wake up earlier not only feel happier but are more productive than their peers who sleep in. Something about seeing the sunrise while drinking a morning cup of tea or coffee allows you to reflect on life and actually have time in the morning for yourself.

Sleeping in means you’ll have to rush to make it to work on time, and also won’t have as much energy as someone who tackles tasks early in the morning before others wake up. As they say, the early bird gets the worm, and this age-old phrase obviously holds a lot of truth.

2. They exercise regularly.

Happy people also make it a point to move their bodies often – a sedentary lifestyle only clouds the mind and promotes an unhealthy body. Consistently happy people know this, as we all know that exercise releases feel-good hormones and endorphins that boost your mood and give you the energy to make it through the day. Happy people care about their bodies and make sure to treat them well so that they feel their best.

3. They don’t sweat the small stuff.

The happiest people don’t let trivial matters get in the way of their mood – they simply allow the experiences to happen, whether good or bad, and learn from them. Happy people enjoy life no matter what happens because they know that the little stresses of life also hold valuable lessons and are necessary in order to enjoy the best things in life. Consistently happy people let the trivial matters in life roll off their shoulders and simply get back up again when life knocks them down.

4. They make new goals and try their hardest to achieve them.

Consistently happy people also write down their goals and go after them. They don’t allow themselves to become complacent and stagnant – they constantly want to set the bar higher for themselves and achieve things they never thought were possible. The happiest people push themselves to the limit in life and don’t allow anything to stand in the way of personal greatness, whatever that means to them.

5. They love to learn.

Also, happy people never stop learning. They have a curious mind and always want to know more than they did before about a variety of topics. They have an open mind as well. So they allow new information to pour in while making a point to go over it later. They absorb new skills quickly and consider life as a constant learning tool. Consistently happy people love to learn because they know that new information and ways of looking at something will help them grow as human beings.

6. They help others often.

Finally, the happiest people don’t just hoard all of the good energy for themselves – they share it with others. They look out for their fellow human beings and offer a helping hand whenever possible. This might mean that they volunteer at a local animal or homeless shelter, or engage in small acts of kindness such as opening the door for others. Happy people look at humanity as a giant team and want to serve others so as to promote unity and care for other human beings.

As you can see, it doesn’t take much to become a happier person; it just takes consistency, commitment, and consideration for others to boost your mood. Happiness isn’t just meant for a certain group of people – anyone can become happier in their life if they just choose to feel happier!

What Do Your Wrinkles Reveal About Your Health?

April 13, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Wrinkles are an inevitable part of the natural aging process. As we become older our skin gets thinner, drier and less elastic. Our skin’s ability to protect itself from damage is also reduced as we age. Eventually, wrinkles, creases and lines form on our skin. – Medical News Today

With age comes wrinkles. It really doesn’t get any simpler than that. And there is nothing wrong with having wrinkles – it’s a natural development of aging. Depending upon how one looks at it, wrinkles can be a sign of beauty, wisdom, knowledge, growth and even wellness.

Interestingly, wrinkles can also reveal certain things about our health. In many instances, unfortunately, certain signs of wrinkling can indicate a potential health problem. On the positive side, once these potential risks are identified, it is possible to be proactive in seeking treatment.

Here are 6 things that wrinkles reveal about your health:

1. An increased risk for heart disease

If one or both earlobes show a diagonal crease or wrinkle, it may indicate an increased risk for heart-related illness, including coronary heart disease. Researchers are unsure about why this enigmatic correlation exists, but there are two primary theories:

– The heart muscle and ear lobe are developed from the same genetic material, and a direct link exists between each part.

– Ear creases are a type of skin degeneration with the root cause being vascular disease.

Dr. Haim Shmilovich, a contributing author of one of the studies undertaken at the Tel Aviv Medical Center, says: “Our study showed a test accuracy of 67 percent, meaning that, in a general way of speaking, if you have this sign, you have a 67 percent change of having coronary artery disease.”

2. Decreased bone density (“brittle bones”)

In a study at the Yale University School of Medicine, a link was discovered between severity of wrinkles and bone mineral density. According to one researcher, “Skin and bones share common building blocks/proteins, and aging is accompanies by changes in skin and deterioration of bone quantity and quality…”

The researchers continue, stating that there is a potential link between wrinkle severity and lower bone density: “We found that deepening and worsening skin wrinkles are related to lower bone density among the study participants. The worse the wrinkles, the lesser the bone density, and this relationship was independent of age or of factors known to influence bone mass.”

3. Potential high blood pressure

According to a research study done at Leiden University Medical Center in the Netherlands, women who have a younger appearance – including less facial sagging and eye drooping – generally tend to have lower blood pressure. Also, the same study discovered that individuals who come from families with a history of longevity have less skin wrinkling on their upper arms than others in their age group.

4. Potential high stress

Doctors can indeed tell how stressed we are by our number of wrinkles. As one dermatologist put it “I can often tell how anxious a new patient is by the lines in her face.”

Stress often causes us to furrow our brow, which can lead to the development of permanent forehead wrinkles. However, these wrinkles are not limited only to the forehead. Continuous stress releases significant amounts of cortisol, the so-called “stress hormone.” As a result, our skin’s collagen diminishes and causes potential wrinkling.

5. High levels of sugar

Sugar contains a bonding agent that attaches to a protein in the body, creating advanced glycation end products (AGEs). Yes, that is a genuine byproduct and yes, that is a real (and fitting) acronym.

AGEs chemically breaks down the molecular structure of two important gatekeepers of skin health – elastin and collagen. Breaking down these two skin components increases the likelihood of developing additional fine lines and wrinkles.

A better, much healthier idea is to eat some fruit instead. Some fruits, particularly mangoes and pomegranates, contain beneficial skin properties. Specifically, research demonstrates that fruits can reverse skin damage (incredible!).

6. Nothing health-related at all (but still check!)

Of course, there’s a high likelihood that absolutely nothing is wrong. As mentioned, wrinkling is a completely normal part of the aging process. However, there is many a firm believer that potentially helpful methods of managing one’s health are worthwhile to examine.

Final Thoughts: Last Tips for Skin Health

Get more sleep: Inadequate sleep has been linked to more wrinkles and fine lines, mouth drooping and pale skin.
Eat more fruits and vegetables: Fruits and veggies contain carotenoids, a powerful skin antioxidant. The properties of carotenoids, particularly its anti-inflammatory effects, can be a powerful ally for skin health.
Quit smoking: Perhaps no real surprise that smoking speeds up the skin’s aging process. The nicotine in cigarettes narrows blood vessels and restricts blood flow. In short, the more one smokes, the more damage is done to the skin.

4 Types of Negative People You Need To Avoid

April 13, 2016 by Power of Positivity

We have people who enter our lives for many reasons. Some become friends, lovers, or partners, while others help us through many obstacles. Then others force us to ask, “What is this person teaching me, and why is my patience being tested?” There are many types of people, but here are four personality types that you want to avoid. Their characteristics are exaggerated, annoying, pessimistic, and toxic.

10 Negative People You Should Avoid Dealing With

Here are ten negative types of people you want to avoid:

1. The User.

This personality is egotistical. They are master manipulators who use deception to get what they want, without any regard for anyone’s feelings. Users often rationalize their behavior to make sense of their actions. They also play the victim card to their advantage. As humans, we are often fogged by our emotions. The user feeds on those who are kind and sensitive. They are the bullies of the world. Once they get what they want, the person is left to pick up the pieces. Users are quiet hurricanes who pass through our lives with tremendous destructive powers. They take, attempt to intimidate, and insult. If you are among this sort of person, the best thing you can do is be assertive, try not to engage in their drama, and set boundaries. Users don’t like the word “no.” They prey on those who they know will do favors for them.

“The successful man doesn’t use others. Other people use the successful man, for above all the success if of service.” –Mark Caine

2. The Gossiper.

People who feel insecure about themselves will spread rumors and gossip about others. This negativity makes them feel better. The gossiper is a toxic thread in any group of folks. They feed on the misfortunes and mistakes of others, often exaggerating the truth. They take and pull from whatever source they need to to get attention. These folks create stories out of boredom, for power and control, jealousy, revenge, and popularity. The best thing you can do is not partake in their accounts. Do not ask questions. Stop their nonsense the minute they start to speak of someone else. The gossiper hurts three people with their words: themselves, the person who is listening, and the person they are gossiping about. You might be next on their agenda if you don’t stop their storytelling.

“Strong minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, weak minds discuss people.” –Socrates

3. The Blamer.

You know this one well. Everyone has one around them. The Blamer is the person who has the victimization personality. They take little responsibility for anything they do. They point the finger at anyone and everyone around them. This is also the martyr. Blamers lack self-control and have very low self-esteem. This personality will do anything possible to deviate blame from themselves. If you are among this type of person, the best thing to do is shift the conversation, take charge of it by questioning everything, and re-affirm where accountability is with them. You are not responsible for anyone but yourself. Please do not allow this persona to feed you with their insecurities. Everyone makes mistakes, and this is where the blamer loves to project issues to anyone but themselves.

“Blaming others is an act of refusing to take responsibility. When a person can’t accept the fact or the reality, they blame another person or the situation instead of taking accountability.” –Dee Dee Artner

4. The Complainer.

Do you have one of these in your office? You know them by the way they are dramatically exhibiting the woe-is-me attitude. Coping with this type of person requires listening and asking for clarification. They might feel victimized by the questioning, but it is the only means to effectively get to the core issue. You should disagree with the complainer. Do not apologize to them either. You must be supportive while being serious and not participate in the matter. Detaching complainers pushes them to complain even harder. They can’t help but need attention by making sure everyone around them is hit with some negative story.

Some people go to incredible lengths to be complicated. Our experiences create our personalities. Dr. Nando Pelusi states in Psychology Today, “Resisting the trap set by difficult people is easier if you’re aware of your vulnerability to getting hurt and then feeling angry.” You do not have to be anyone’s target when they choose to be toxic and harmful. The only thing you can do is to avoid participating in their drama.

“Complaining does not work as a strategy. We all have finite time and energy. Any time we spend whining is unlikely to help us achieve our goals. And it won’t make us happier.” — Randy Paush, The Last Lecture

5. Opportunists.

The opportunist is one of the negative people you want to avoid as they want to use you. They have a goal and will stop at nothing to achieve it. This person doesn’t care about your feelings or emotions, as they tend to be on the selfish side. They feel justified in their behaviors as it benefits them.

This person has difficulty maintaining friendships, as they’re fake and have narcissistic tendencies. They will use and manipulate you till they get everything they need, and then they will drop you in a heartbeat. Another major issue with these people is that they tend to be cynical, so it’s hard to develop a true friendship.

“An opportunist hides the truth and keeps the options for the achievement of the purpose.” ― Ehsan Sehgal

6. The Jealous Type.

Ah, the green-eyed monster doesn’t make for good friendships. When someone has a jealousy issue, they’re often envious of others. They constantly compare their lives to other people and think that someone else is better off. These folks tend to focus on negativity, so they’re toxic to be around for long periods.

They will try to sabotage your happiness, whether they mean to. Having them as a friend or a partner isn’t going to be good, as sooner or later, their true colors will come shining through. Until this person learns to put their insecurities to rest, they’re incapable of having any healthy connections.

“O, beware, my lord, of jealousy;
It is the green-ey’d monster, which doth mock
The meat it feeds on.”
― William Shakespeare, Othello

7. Controllers.

You can’t mention negative people without bringing up the controlling person. A control freak may come across as assertive, but their insecurities speak loud and clear. Life will always have uncertainties, but it’s being able to roll with the punches that make or breaks your character.

This person fears losing control, and there’s often some trauma in their background that’s made them this way. They have a very unhealthy way of dealing with things around them, so they try to keep their thumb on everything. If something doesn’t match their ideas, they become quite anxious and demanding.

It’s not uncommon for this individual to have passive-aggressive behaviors, as their abusive tendencies hurt you. They’re not above judging, criticizing, and voicing their opinion, but it’s not about you as it’s more about them.

“Abuse grows from attitudes and values, not feelings. The roots are ownership, the trunk is entitlement, and the branches are control.” ― Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

8. Bullies.

No one wants to hang around with bullies, as they’re energy vampires that can suck you dry. Don’t ever let these negative people get any of your energy, as once they get a leg up on you, they will take control. When you hear the word bully, you think of the school playground and a child who dominates the group.

However, there are bullies in churches, workplaces, and in adult relationships that you must face. They can be any age and know how to work things for their benefit. The bully is very much a manipulator, as they can make you miserable until you give in to their demands.

The best way to handle this person is to be honest with them. Once you stand up to a bully, they usually back down. Like the traditional narcissist, they likely have some trauma in their past that’s made them behave this way. Emotionally detach yourself from this person before it’s too late.

“Life is a ﬁght, but not everyone’s a ﬁghter. Otherwise, bullies would be an endangered species.” ― Andrew Vachss, Terminal

8. Energy Vampires.

Some negative people suck the life right out of you. They’re so toxic that one phone conversation can make you feel drained and exhausted. They never have anything nice to say, and even if you try to be positive, they will find a way to give it a negative spin.

This person is so miserable that they would love to bring along some company. They will call to bombard you with all their drama and the latest horrible scoop of their life. This person may also play the victim card to get your pity, but some might become a bit abusive to get their way.

How do you know if you’re involved with an energy vampire? It’s all about how you feel after hanging up or leaving their presence. Your state of mind after contact will be the indicator, as these people give you a headache and can even make your stomach hurt.

“Say goodbye to the energy vampires in your life — the negative souls who steal your enthusiasm.“ — Robin Sharma

9. Pathological Liars.

If you ever entangle with a pathological liar, you need to run as quickly as possible. This person wouldn’t know the truth if it smacked them on the top of their head. Unlike some people who lie to get out of trouble, this person lies just for lying. An interesting study published by the National Library of Medicine found that people guilty of chronic lying tend to have impaired function in social situations.

They often feel inferior and need to make up a story to appear better. Their insecurities come across when they must face situations at work or home, and they think that lying is the best way to combat these feelings. This negative person is going to play mind games with you. The lies will get more intense as they snowball from trying to cover up their untruths. Avoid them at all costs.

“Hypocrites get offended by the truth.” ― Jess C. Scott, Bad Romance: Seven Deadly Sins Anthology

10. Egotists.

Dealing with a self-absorbed person is difficult, but the National Library of Medicine classifies this person as egotistical or narcissistic. Not only will they waste your time, but they’re a threat to your mental wellbeing. A relationship needs to have a healthy balance of giving and taking to be effective.

However, this person is so focused on themselves that they usually have empty relationships. They have no problem communicating their thoughts and feelings with you, but they won’t have time when you want to vent in return. This person has a grandiose view of themselves, and they think they’re better than everyone else in everything they say or do. Avoid these negative people and find healthy relationships.

“Egotist, n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.” ― Ambrose Bierce, The Unabridged Devil’s Dictionary

How to Set Boundaries with Negative People

Since you know all of the types of people you should avoid, you need to know what to do when you encounter them. You need to protect yourself from negative people at all costs, and here are a few ways to safeguard your heart and mind.

1. Limit Contact with Negative People

If possible, try to limit your contact. A person can only be an energy vampire if you allow them. When they invite you for dinner, movies, or another social event, say “No.” You get to control your life, and you don’t need someone toxic spilling all their poison onto you.

2. Do Not Let Negative People Create Emotional Space in Your Life

Creating an emotional separation is easier in some situations than it is others. It may be a challenge if it’s your spouse or a relative. However, if you’re in the wrong emotional place because you have a toxic person you share it with, it might be time to reevaluate some things.

3. Clearly State Your Boundaries

It would help if you had boundaries in all areas of your life. If you don’t have such safeguards, energy vampires and negative people will walk all over you. Draw your lines in the sand, and don’t let anyone cross them without your permission.

4. Nurture Yourself When You Can’t Avoid Negative People

You need to make sure you take care of yourself. Being around these people that seem to suck the life out of you can be pretty taxing. So, getting appropriate self-care is the key to staying mentally healthy. Remember, the physical and mental parts work closely together, so you want to ensure both are healthy.

5. Honor Your Needs

You know all those aches and pangs that you get when you’re around these negative folks? Well, it’s your body’s warning system. It would help if you listened to what your body is trying to tell you. That feeling in the pit of your stomach is your intuitive side warning you to stay away. You don’t want to be around people who make you feel worse, as true friends pick you up.

Final Thoughts on Identifying the Negative People…and Avoiding Their Drama

It’s hard to find true friends these days that will be there for you as much as they expect you to be there for them. However, you need friends to make your life fulfilled. Whether you’re dating, married, have relatives, or acquaintances that tend to be negative, you can avoid the drama.

You get to call the shots in your life. People can only mistreat, abuse, and control you if you allow them to do so. Once you determine that someone is harmful and toxic, it’s time to cut your losses and move on.

If it’s a relative that you can’t avoid, you can limit your exposure to them for your mental health. Find people that pick you up when you fall, offer a shoulder to cry on, and are there through the good and bad.

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