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6 Reasons Men Leave The Women They Love

6 Reasons Men Leave The Women They Love

Love is tricky. Why do men leave women when it takes so much courage to fall in love in the first place? For men, it might be more difficult to deal with falling in love than for a woman. When a man falls in love, he must take into account the suffering that might occur by opening up all of himself to her. Is the risk worth it?

A man rarely dives in fully but steps little by little into the world of second-guessing and ups and downs. Men know they are not born with an innate understanding of how women operate.

Sometimes a few simple factors can go a long way in increasing understanding. This can go both ways.

Here are 6 reasons why men leave the women they love:

men leave

1. He feels that she’s trying to fix him.

When a man starts to feel that he’s not enough, that his flaws are massive, or that he cannot be himself without judgment, he starts looking for the exit. Women, often without realizing it, tend to emasculate men by making them their projects and trying to change or “improve” them.

Albert Einstein said, “Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.” What a man really needs is a woman who offers wholehearted encouragement so a man can discover who he truly is.

This is what we all need in a relationships. A man can grow and mature with the help of a loving and supportive partner.

2. He is threatened by the woman’s success.

In a study conducted by the University of Florida, men experience a huge blow to their self-esteem when their female partners experience success, even when they are not in direct competition.

A woman’s success also negatively impacts how the man views the future of their relationship.

If the man has not been able to attain the success he feels he deserves, this is often a pivotal reason he might leave a relationship. He cannot join her in her success or support her because he is inwardly comparing her success to his failures.

3. He feels bothered too often.

Men can zone out sometimes, but not more often than when a woman repeatedly says the same thing to him. Constant bothering and belittling can destroy a relationship. Men may play like children, but they are not kids. They rarely tolerate constant whining and complaining. Men need to feel appreciated and uplifted. They will ignore and avoid this type of ‘nagging’ because it adds to negative reinforcement or even passive-aggressive conflict.

If he knows she will give him grief, he will not respond well to requests or comments. If he feels she will complain no matter what he does, he realizes there is no satisfaction in doing what she wants. To a man, a nagging woman is not a supportive or enjoyable partner to have.

 

4. He suffers a lack of intimacy.why men leave women

Believe it or not, men crave intimacy just as much as women. If a man has to beg for it while the woman withholds it to get him to do things, he may leave the relationship to seek that connection with someone else.

A man will not stand by too long with a woman who will not participate in intimate encounters with her partner. A man falls in love with a woman for many reasons, but he also needs to feel that he is the most desirable person in her life.

5. She compares him to other men.

There is nothing more annoying to a man than listening to a woman talk about past relationships. When the woman compares him to an ex, that’s the beginning of the end. Men do not want to analyze their partner’s past relationships and intimate connections.

A man wants to believe he is the only one that matters right now. He doesn’t want to hear that a previous lover did this or that. He wants to know that what he is doing right now is enough.

6. Her emotional co-dependency.

Men need their space. Men also need their friends. A man doesn’t want to be treated as a possession or feel like he is a babysitter. When a man feels that he has lost his freedom to participate in sports, outings, or social gatherings with his friends, he might leave. A healthy relationship requires both parties to have their own friends and hobbies. Co-dependency tarnishes the spark of a relationship.

Men don’t over-analyze this feeling of being imprisoned. The moment they feel their lives have drastically been high-jacked, that’s when they break up. Men deeply fear losing their freedom.

why men leave women ansd vice versaFinal Thoughts on Why Men Leave Women They Love

Men fall in love with the expectation of being appreciated, respected and supported. If a man no longer feels like he is the hero of the story, he will naturally face a serious decision in whether or not he should change his relationship status.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

What Is Your Social IQ?

Our ability to connect meaningfully to another person is one of our greatest gifts as humans, and it is what defines social IQ. How well can you connect to another person?

Social intelligence is responsible for some of our planet’s most essential and well-paying jobs. We pay more to people who are well-skilled in social interactions because society highly values those skills.

Here are just a few examples of some highly paid careers that are people-focused and which require a high level of Social IQ:

  • Lawyer
  • Politician
  • Sales Rep
  • Public Relations
  • Human Resources
  • Psychiatrist
  • Marketing

The ability to persuade others and the ability to be sensitive to the needs of others are also skills that people with a high Social IQ have.

How do we measure social IQ?

On a basic level, social intelligence is your level of skill at getting along with many different types of people. Picture it like this; if you were placed in a room with 10 people, only one of whom spoke your language, would you be able to make a connection with one of the nine people who couldn’t communicate verbally with you? Would you connect with the one person you could talk to, or would you be alone?

One well-known test of social intelligence is the George Washington University Social Intelligence Test (GWUSIT). This specific test was created to ‘measure certain factors of judgment, information, and memory related to dealing with people and carrying on social relationships.’

In a study of the use of the GWUSIT, researchers found a sex difference in Social IQ for women and men. They discovered that women seem to have a higher Social IQ and they tested on average 5 points higher than men. The reason behind women’s higher Social IQ may be genetically encoded into our chromosomes and DNA.

Related article: 7 Ways to Show Emotional Intelligence

Evolutionarily speaking, women who could discern the subtle differences between a potentially successful mate and a mate who was less likely to provide for a family were able to have children who survived to pass on the Social IQ genes. Women seeking a suitable mate would have had to be able to tell intelligence, trustworthiness, reliability, and probably looked for stamina or energy as well.

What Is Your Social IQ?

Let’s look at some of the essential traits of someone with a high level of interpersonal intelligence.

Communication skills

Listening and speaking are both equally important here. Communicating your needs well means that you can ask for what you need to be happy. Listening is possibly more important though and could be expanded upon to include the ability to pick up non-verbal cues.

For example, when you are listening, can you tell what someone gets excited about? If so, this means that you can detect what motivates a person. This information comes in handy when you are trying to negotiate for something you want with someone with a high Social IQ.

Knowledge of and ability to follow social rules

Most people know that ‘double dipping’ their chip at a party is a social faux pas. But if you don’t know the rules and offend someone, it could reduce your likelihood of an invitation to party with those people again.

Rejection from a social group is a fear that many people have, and with good evolutionary reason. In our evolution, rejection by the group meant having to fend for yourself without the relative safety of a group to scare off predators.

Managing impressions

When a person wants to be accepted into a specific social group, they learn about that group and begin to mimic the traits of the group. Taking control of the image you portray to others while still keeping your authentic self is something that most of us have done at one time or another. For example, who you are in a job interview is very different from who you are at the bar on Friday night.

For example, someone who wants the acceptance of a wealthier group of people might try to be seen by members of the group while wearing designer label clothes. They would also behave like those they wanted to be accepted by, in their way of speaking, hand and facial gestures, posture and other movements.

Role flexibility

Being able to change what you focus on now versus what you will focus on when you have a small child clinging to you is one example of role flexibility with Social IQ. Real-self versus parent-self is one role switch that we have to make.

Roles that most of us have all experienced at some point include:

  • Teacher
  • Student
  • Beginner
  • Expert
  • Lover
  • Rejected romantic partner
  • Driver
  • Passenger

Related article: 5 Reasons Introverts Make the Best Relationship Partners

5 Signs Your Relationship Is Toxic and Needs to End

George Pratt, a clinical psychologist, author and licensed marriage and family therapist associated with Scripps Health, says that a toxic or unhealthy relationship can exist among married couples, and people who date. Moreover, it can also impact former couples after a breakup.

So no matter what the nature of the relationship, Pratt said, they have one thing in common:

“Toxic relationships can exist in any kind of relationship, and they are bad for your health.” He has stated that most people don’t even acknowledge that they are in a toxic/negative relationship that needs to end. Depression, anxiety, stress, and a weakened immune system can be present in these negative experiences.

Here are 5 signs that your relationship might be toxic:

Related article: 10 Critical Things You Should Never Tolerate In A Relationship

1. Conflicts and arguments are ever-present.

There is one person who needs to always be right. This need often stems from narcissism and egotistical behavior. Of course, this person has little empathy and understanding for their partner. They must have the last word. So consider these questions if you don’t know that you are in an unhealthy relationship: Are you challenging one another with productive discussions? Are these one-sided arguments? Does one person in the relationship always find a way to make it the discussions about them?

2. You are being emotionally bulldozed.

Sometimes we don’t notice what is happening. However, we know that something doesn’t feel right. Are you constantly being put down? Is your partner humiliating you in front of others? Does that other person utilize passive-aggressive behavior by saying one thing and then doing another? Anger is very present in these negative conversations. Toxic relationships are abusive, verbally and at times physically. Once you submit to that type of relationship the person will find a way to degrade you to stay with them while feeding on your fears and insecurities.

3. You are co-dependent on each other.

There is a difference between a loving-supportive relationship and one that is based on possessing a person. If your partner is jealous and constantly accusing you of cheating, this is a sign of destructive behavior that should not be tolerated. Love and respect are healthy. Co-dependency is not. Can you detach your dreams from that of your partner’s? Do you have your own friends? Do you spend time away from each other? What about your own goals? A co-dependent relationship does not allow for healthy boundaries.

4. Your faults are often magnified.

If your flaws and imperfections are being expressed on a daily basis, this is a sign of a toxic relationship. In fact, it is detrimental to end it because the more time passes the easier it becomes a habit. Your self-worth and self-esteem will take giant blows. Thus, you may begin to ask yourself these questions: Do you feel mentally and physically healthy with this person? Are they bringing out the best in you? Are you enriching each other? Is your partner your cheerleader?

5. You are literally sick and tired.

In a research study by Dr. Roberto De Vogli including over 10,000 participants, it showed that toxic and negative relationships have a correlation to heart disease. Your body is being affected in elevated stress levels that can cause the immune system to shut down. As a result, the emotional body takes a beating and starts to affect the physical body. The first place that stress affects is the heart, and the second is your sleep pattern. Are you losing sleep and worrying about issues with your relationship? Is your weight fluctuating? Do you feel exhausted all the time? If you are in a toxic relationship you will feel aches on many levels.

Relationships serve as great lessons in the evolution of life. In fact, we grow from these experiences. You do not have to stay in these relationships forever. Setting boundaries and putting yourself first is important. So always remember that healthy relationships are based on mutual love, respect, encouragement, and security. If this is not present, you might have to make a life-changing decision.

“The only relationships that exist are based on truth. Everything else is just a mutual and isolating delusion.” ~Stefan Molyneux

5 Signs Ego Is Ruining Your Relationship

Psychologist Carl Jung said, “The first half of life is devoted to forming a healthy ego, the second half is going inward and letting go of it.” It’s not such an easy concept. Sometimes ego is a huge part of a relationship. It becomes a tug of war between spirit and emotional stability. When it comes to love, we often turn to our egos to make decisions, play the blame game, and manipulate.

Here Are Five Signs That Ego Is Destroying Your Relationship:

Know these signs that you must humble yourself.

1. Constant blame reveals an inflated ego

If you are constantly blaming your counterpart for everything, you need a reality check. Ego is controlling your relationship and using manipulation to do it. Do you take any responsibility for your actions? Can you step aside and analyze the situation without blaming the other? The ego loves to blame and criticize. It will do everything and anything to transfer and reprimand another. Unfortunately, that which we avoid is usually what we get in relationships. When we don’t take responsibility for our actions the ego will utilize this to project onto another.

ego

2. Your ego tells you that everyone else is better than you

Are you playing the victim card in your relationship? Do you compare yourself to your partner? Are you always putting yourself down in order to get a rise? The ego will partake in negative reinforcements rather than positive ones. It will engage in negative chatter and magnify your imperfections. If you are doing this it is definitely time to step back and recheck your relationship. You are not a martyr. If this is a role you are fulfilling it is time to be accountable for what you are bringing to your love life.

3. Jealousy

The green-eyed monster is the greatest platform for drama in a relationship. Ego feeds on self-worth and lack of acceptance. A loving relationship is based on mutual respect and awareness of another. It doesn’t contribute to the comparing, put-downs, and ridicule that jealousy creates. This is a drama that becomes the highest form of toxic energy in relationships. If you are in an abusive relationship, the ego will keep you there through jealousies. What is causing you to entertain these thoughts? Is your partner causing you to question the relationship? This is a red flag to step back and be honest with abuse in a relationship.

4. Fear of rejection

This sort of fear stops you from moving on and achieving any goals. When you stop yourself because of this fear you are doing an injustice to your relationship. Shifting your perception rather than being paralyzed by the ego’s anxiety and nagging is a constructive way to gain self-worth. Your ego shines when you have negative self-talk. Are you giving up your authentic truth to make another happy, as not to rub their ego in the wrong way? This is not a healthy boundary. Loving relationships are based on mutual admiration and acceptance. If you are being driven to feel rejection perhaps it’s time to analyze your commitment to this person.

5. You must have the last word

Ego has a way of turning everything about you into a one-man play. If you find that you or your partner talks excessively without asking about the other, well you are in a huge ego-driven relationship. The ego plays a wonderful role in keeping us from achieving complete peace and happiness. It is the mind’s way of controlling. It will also create scenarios that don’t exist. If you find that you must have the last say in everything, it’s time that you step back and find the root. Do you feel superior, or inferior? Do you lack self-assurance and, therefore, have to prove that you are worth it? Ego has a way to disguise inferiority by over-talking. If you are in a relationship that is argumentative ego might just be fueling it. Is this how you want to be loved?

Try These Six Habits if Your Ego Is Ruining Your Relationship

It’s easy to get so caught up in your own head that you sacrifice the people you love. If you find that your ego is too big, it is time to get back to the person you know you should be. Here are some suggestions to humble your ego.

1. Stop your ego from controlling your life

One early sign that your ego is too large is that you feel you need to have everything figured out before you do correct yourself. When you’re trying to control even the minute details, you set up for stress and unrealistic expectations. That’s because you can’t control everything in life, no matter how hard you try. So now is the time to let go of your control and relax. You’ll set yourself free from your own unfair expectations.

ego

2. Embrace correction of your ego

When your ego rules your life, you don’t like it when a loved one or co-worker points out your faults. As a result, you become quick to blame others or every situation you land in. To get back to a kinder version of yourself, you need to embrace correction. Don’t resist criticism. Allow the correction to sand the rough edges off your character so you can become kinder.

3. Drop “I”

Your ego needs to feel special. Thus, you feel jealous when others get praise or credit for things. There’s a desire to draw attention to yourself, to say, “Look at me, see what I did.”

To become a better version of yourself, it’s best to drop “I” and look outward. So begin praising others and encouraging them. Focusing on yourself is one of the best techniques to hush your ego and reset your life.

4. Stop trying to please

Do you always crave approval from others? Wanting to please people or receive approval is a sign your ego could destroy your relationships. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to encourage others or help people. However, if your are not helping your life’s journey if you engage in this behavior. If you have sincere motives for helping other people, you should receive satisfaction whether or not they show appreciation. The difference is that you render aid to them because they need it–not because you want them to like you more.

5. Look outside yourself

If your ego is ruling your life, it destroys more than your relationships. Indeed, it also places your will above God’s will for your life. Finding help and putting faith in God is a way of looking for help outside yourself. Trusting a higher power brings you comfort and confidence. That’s because you can relax knowing there’s someone bigger than you ruling over your life. You can take the focus off yourself and look outward.

6. Choose kindness over ego

An inflated ego blinds you to how poorly you treat other people. One way to quiet an inflated ego is to focus on being kind. Kindness means you are always considerate and generous to others. You build up others rather than tear them down.  So show kindness to the people around you; it will help you feel happier about your life and who you are.

ego

Final Thoughts on Identifying When Your Ego Might Ruin Your Relationships

At any point in your relationship, you must step back, breathe, and take accountability for your actions. You are your thoughts. You are your actions. If your ego is driving you to these negative challenges it is also screaming for attention. Loving another requires complete vulnerability. Let go of the chit-chat and be honest with yourself and others. You get to choose your words and actions. You get to change and shift the way your relationship should be. It all starts with you!

5 Things Respectful Relationships Do Differently

Respect is an incredibly important word in the context of a relationship. We can hardly begin to imagine a happy romantic relationship without it.

You may define respect in various ways, but most of us would agree that we know respect when we receive it and when we don’t. We also know that respect includes having your needs met and also being considerate of another person’s needs.

A relationship without respect often feels wrong in your gut, whereas a respectful relationship feels energizing and uplifting. Whether you have a respectful relationship or are looking for how to build one, this list of five things that respectful relationships do differently is for you.

5 Things Respectful Relationships Do Differently

relationship myths

1. Forgive the past

Forgiveness is part of the key to trusting in your partner, which one of the most important things that respectful relationships do differently. Trust means to trust your partner going forward, even if you couldn’t trust your partner in the past. A study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology defined a secure, respectful adult relationship style as one where partners are ‘comfortable with closeness and being able to depend on others.’

Your relationship with your parents can also impact how you relate to a romantic partner. If your parents were not respectful and accepting, it is unlikely that you behave respectfully at all times toward your partner. Adults who struggle with having respectful relationships often experience ’emotional highs and lows, jealousy, and obsessive preoccupation with their partner’ according to a study of relationship quality in couples.

2. Compromise on anything that isn’t your utmost priority

You have your core values, which you should never compromise on, and then there’s the stuff that’s slightly less important. Within a respectful relationship, partners know that they have to act selflessly. In turn, the partners empower each other to be happy.

Giving to get creates a win-win situation for a respectful relationship. Willingness to compromise is important to respectfully meeting the needs of two people in a relationship with different preferences, tastes, thoughts, feelings, and expectations.

3. Communicate immediately

Our bond to another human being, romantic or otherwise, is based almost entirely on our ability to communicate with that person. Maybe you’ve said ‘I’m not a mind-reader’ to your partner before in anger over a misunderstanding.

When it comes to conflict, you have two choices in a respectful relationship:

1) Say something right away if something is bothering you or,

2) Let it go.

If you wait, your partner is likely to be resentful over you having saved up a laundry list of reasons that you are upset. Address each incident that hurts your feelings as soon as it happens and with kindness.

Beyond saying what upset you, the next step is to ask your partner for how you would prefer to be treated next time. For example, ‘Honey, I wish you would have just told me that you prefer the other brand of coffee rather than telling me how much you dislike this one.’ A positive focus to communication with a partner is always a thing that respectful relationships do differently.

Related article: 7 Things You Deserve in a Relationship

4. Separate but together

How can you hope to keep the spark of interest alive in a long-term relationship if you already know everything there is to know about each other after a year of being in a relationship? Out of respect for the fact that your partner has different interests, tastes, and preferences from your own. So make sure to keep at least one separate activity that your partner does not participate in.

Having separate interests from your partner provides two huge benefits:

1) While you do what you like to do, your partner has time to themselves to do what they like to do when they are alone.

2) You’ll have done something that is a mystery to your partner and that will spark your partner’s interest.

In a respectful relationship, you would never exclude your partner intentionally from your time away from them. Offer to include them, but be honest if you prefer them to not come with you.

5. Honor each other’s dreams

Before you met your partner, you had dreams of your own. Now you have together dreams. There’s nothing wrong with that as long as your heart continues to be fulfilled.

When your memories of the dreams you used to have are bigger than the dreams you have now, you need to let your partner know. You deserve all the chances to be your most amazing self in life. If your partner does not see the same future as you do, however, you might find yourself faced with a difficult, but respectful, decision.

These Things Happen to Your Body When You’re On Your Cell Phone Before Bed

Many of us use a cell phone more now than ever, and they certainly have their benefits. However, plenty of people have pointed out the flaws of our plugged in world, such as losing our social skills, suffering from depersonalization, getting lazier, and even losing sleep.

Technology can serve as a wonderful tool to help us stay connected and learn new information. But that convenience comes with a price, and when it comes to our health, how much are we truly willing to sacrifice? Did you know that using your smartphone before bed can not only disrupt sleep? In fact, it can even make you feel hungover the following day?!

Here’s what happens to your body when you’re on your cell phone before bed:

smartphone

According to a new study from Michigan State University, people who stayed up after 9PM finishing up work felt notably more tired and less productive the next day compared to those who didn’t get on their cell phone at night, the Telegraph reports.

“Smartphones are almost perfectly designed to disrupt sleep,” Russell Johnson, MSU assistant professor of management, told the Telegraph. “Because they keep us mentally engaged late into the evening, they make it hard to detach from work so we can relax and fall asleep.”

While this study only focused on those who stayed on their phones to do work, it can easily apply to people doing other activities on their phones, such as playing games, checking emails and scrolling through social media accounts.

The study also stressed that the “blue light” emitted from smartphones disrupts the body’s production of melatonin, a chemical that helps induce sleep. Countless studies have shown that the bright lights emitted from phones and computers can delay sleep for hours past your bedtime.

The bright blue lights from tablets, phones and computers basically tell our brains that we need to stay awake, not go to sleep. Artificial light can severely inhibit your body’s ability to produce melatonin, and research even found a link between disruptions to the circadian rhythm and a higher risk of cancer. We need darkness in order to produce melatonin, so especially at night, staying off electronics is vitally important.

Natural darkness helps to protect the body from damage, and keeps your sleep patterns intact. The suppression of melatonin also links to immune system deficiencies, type 2 diabetes, metabolic syndrome, obesity and heart disease.

Final Thoughts on Using a Cell Phone Before You Retire to Bed

Out in nature, the sun tells our bodies to wake up and start the day. So, with all these artificial lights today, we stay awake longer and longer. That’s because our brains don’t know the difference between natural and unnatural light. However, you can make things easier on yourself by turning off electronics a few hours before bed. Then, keep them off during the night so they don’t awaken you with notifications.
Our society seriously needs to remember to slow down and take time to look after our health. You can do other things before bed. For example, try reading a book, practicing meditation or yoga, writing in a journal, or taking a nice, warm bath. Our world puts so much emphasis on plugging in. So remember to tune out a little bit each night. Instead, tune into your body’s desires and needs.
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