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What Are You Grateful For? Researchers Explain How Gratitude Changes Your Life

Counting your blessings is not just about adopting an attitude of gratitude; it’s about making extraordinary things happen in your life. Gratitude is a worldview that we wish more people would adopt. Why? Because it’s much more positive than the alternative–taking things for granted.

In a study of gratitude and subjective well-being, participants kept records of their moods, coping behaviors, health behaviors, physical symptoms, and overall life happiness. Researchers found that participants who expressed gratitude showed higher well-being. Researchers also found that gratitude helped people to feel greater happiness. The scientists say, ‘Results suggest that a conscious focus on blessings may have emotional and interpersonal benefits.’

Researchers studying gratitude have a difficult task because it is hard to define. They begin by saying, ‘It has been conceptualized as an emotion, an attitude, a moral virtue, a habit, a personality trait, or a coping response. The word gratitude is derived from the Latin root gratia, meaning grace, graciousness, or gratefulness.’

In a quote from P.W. Pruyser, the researchers say that the words that come from the Latin root of gratitude are ‘kindness, generousness, gifts, the beauty of giving and receiving, or getting something for nothing.’

These Things Happen When You Start Counting Your Blessings

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The field of positive psychology is relatively new, but psychologists are fascinated by the resiliency of people who have a positive, grateful outlook as compared to those who focus on the awful things that happen.

Positive people rarely have a life that’s free of loss, rather, they are able to experience loss as a temporary moment of sorrow that enhances the joy of the other moments of their lives.

The Positive Psychology Center is ‘founded on the belief that people want to lead meaningful and fulfilling lives, to cultivate what is best within themselves, and to enhance their experiences of love, work, and play.’ Psychologists hope that curing many types of mental illness could be as easy as helping people to learn to count their blessings.

1. You strengthen friendships

So much of what we accomplish in our lives is due to the support and help of our friends and loved ones. By expressing our thanks to the blessings of friendship, we are expressing our thanks for the efforts that others took on our behalf. Counting our friendship blessings often means openly expressing thanks to them. When your friends feel appreciated, they are more likely to help you in the future.

Not only do others feel better when you are grateful for their help, but you feel better too. Researchers say ‘Encouraging people to focus on the benefits they have received from others leads them to feel loved and cared for by others.’ Feeling loved is a great reason to count your blessings.

2. You build a sense of spirituality

“‘Thank you’ is the best prayer that anyone could say. I say that a lot. Thank you expresses extreme gratitude, humility, understanding.” – Alice Walker.

When we are grateful for something that we cannot attribute to the help of a specific person, we feel blessed by a force beyond ourselves. It is as though we have been helped, supported, and loved by a caring being. Thanking that energy that has brought you such abundance gives us a way to connect to the divine.

Many people believe that the more we are grateful to the divine for our blessings, the more blessings we are likely to receive in return.

3. You improve your creative thinking

Think of it this way: someone who is grateful for the love and care of their romantic partner is more likely to seek to show their gratitude with words and actions that demonstrate their thanks. Someone who is not grateful does not take the time or effort to think of a way to express gratitude.

Our brains are more active when we consciously count our blessings versus taking them for granted. This mindfulness can also help in other areas of your life that require creative thinking.

4. You cope better with stress

Taking a moment to count your blessings during an upsetting event can shift your mindset from a negative to a positive. Instead of what went wrong, you focus on what you learned from the experience. You spend less time in a negative emotional state like fear, anger, or sadness. Thus, you slow down your heart rate to move into calm acceptance, then happiness as the negative moment passes.

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5. You improve your mood when you count blessings

Feelings of depression, anxiety or anger can be quickly changed to happiness. Counting your blessings is one easy way to move into a positive mood. Therapists are beginning to look at exercises in gratitude as a way for patients to recover from mild depression.

Try journaling or using an app to track your mood. Then write down at least two things you are grateful for and check your mood again. You may be pleasantly surprised to discover that your mood has improved over what it was before you counted your blessings.

5 Signs Your Partner Thinks You’re “The One”

Is there a sure way to know if you’ve met “the one?” It takes time for a partner to give a clue on how they feel. In this stressful world, long-term commitments seem rare. They are as mythical as finding a unicorn in the backyard. But, when you find that one person who wants to be with you, hang on to them.

Here are five signs your partner thinks you are “the one”:partner

1. Your partner relates with ease.

He/she says, “I’ve never told this to anyone before.” This is a sure sign you might just be the one. Relationships that are easy don’t require questioning. Men, especially, have a hard time with sharing intimate details. They don’t speak of their fears. Most people hold on to their vulnerability and do not show it for a long time in relationships. So, if your partner is sharing, openly crying, and feels completely comfortable around you this is a sign that there is a deeper meaning to this union than just a passing fling.

2. There is not enough time to spend together.

Relationships go through this in the beginning, but if you are still each others’ best pastime this is a nice clue that your partner thinks you are a keeper. People who make time to be with their partners have the best intention of making it serious. If you are as happy outside of the bedroom as you are in the bedroom you can be sure that your magical powers have a sweet spell over your partner.

Is your sweetheart planning on spending holidays and other special days with you and your family? Does your partner enjoy activities that also involve his/her friends? Do you feel included in things that are important to him/her? People who fall deeply in love crave being together always. There is constant laughter and play. These relationships are incredibly connected in physical, emotional, and spiritual ways.

3. There is little or no outside drama.

You understand each other without explanations or expectations. Relationships that are meant to turn into committed ones have very strong bonds. Men are extremely grateful for not having to explain things. Women also enjoy not having to worry about expectations.

If you are not dealing with jealousy, creating scenarios that question commitment, then you can be sure this person will keep you around for the rest of his/her life. If your partner is telling you that you make him/her feel calm and safe, you can be sure you are the one.

4. You share similar priorities and moral values.

If you are discussing finances, future goals, and the what if’s of your lives together, most likely that should let you know there is some seriousness to this relationship. Partnerships that share similar ventures such as where you will live, having a family, pets, and other deep conversations tend to be stable. They are sure signs of future commitments.

Have you heard the phrase, “Our kids….” And no one fainted? Future plans come naturally to those who want to stay for the long haul.

5. You can be yourself completely.

Your partner sees your vulnerability and weakness and still loves you. This is a sure sign that you are a keeper. It’s easy to be happy. The struggle in partnership comes when stress appears via finances, past traumas, unresolved emotional issues, and work problems. If your partner is sticking with you through all the ups and downs of life, be sure you are marriage material. We tend to push those we love when we are overwhelmed. If he or she is still showing you that you are not alone accept that you are worth it.

In our society, we have placed a lot of hardcore value when defining the phrase “The One.” This is not just for marriage. There are millions of couples out there who do not officially tie the knot. We expect the one to be like a fairy tale. The true companion in our lives is better than any story. You are the one person your counterpart wants to spend a lifetime with. The union of two souls is one of the most special events in our lives. To be “the one” is to be the one person who has your back and will raise you when you are down. That person knows your value.

“To be fully seen by somebody, then, and be loved anyhow – this is a human offering that can border on miraculous.” ~ Elizabeth Gilbert, Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage

10 Things Everyone Should Do Before They Turn 30

While an age doesn’t really mean much, doing certain things before you turn 30 will help you later on in life. Plus, during your teens and 20s, you have a considerable amount of freedom that you might not have in the coming years.

We believe everyone should create their own bucket list, of course, but we also think that everyone should get an opportunity to do the following things while they’re young.

Here are 10 things everyone should do before they turn 30:

Related article: 25 Things You’ll Never Regret Doing

1. Travel to foreign countries.

It’s one thing to read about cultures and foreign lands in a textbook – it’s a whole different ballgame to actually experience it for yourself. Travel expands your horizons, gives you greater understanding of other ways of life, and makes you more tolerant and accepting. Also, it helps you to think on your feet more, become comfortable with the uncomfortable, and learn to appreciate what you have. Before you turn 30, travel to the places you’ve always dreamed of. You won’t regret it for a minute.

2. Become part of a group or organization that aligns with your purpose.

Nothing feels better than to become part of something bigger than you that actually matches up with your interests and beliefs. Want to help cure world hunger? Why not see if you can find a local organization that feeds the homeless? While this won’t solve the greater issue overnight, it will certainly help people, and that satisfaction you get from serving others is priceless. Before you turn 30, reflect on what your goals are and what you feel most passionate about, then go out into the world and see how you can work toward accomplishing those dreams.

3. Leave a job that drains you.

It’s been drilled into us from an early age that we must figure out what we want to do with our lives before we even become an adult, drop thousands of dollars on an education, and then spend 40+ years working towards retirement in a job we may or may not enjoy. This doesn’t mean that people can’t find happiness following a traditional path, however, the statistics speak for themselves – 52.3% of Americans feel unhappy at work. So, if you fall into that group of people, ask yourself why you continue to go to that job. If you can’t find a reason other than to pay the bills, don’t feel afraid to leave that job, or career, in favor of something else that truly makes you happy.

4. Learn how to cook.

In this world, we have access to a plethora of foods, from Taco Bell to fine dining establishments. However, most of the “foods” out there have been so altered that they hardly resemble the natural foods they come from. Before you turn 30, learn how to cook for yourself using fresh, healthy ingredients. You’ll save money, save time, and save your health. What could be better than that?

5. Learn to really, truly love yourself.

Many industries in this world profit off of people who don’t really love themselves. Think about it – the beauty industry mostly profits off of women and men who somehow feel inadequate in their appearance and want a quick fix to make them feel better about themselves. The diet industry profits off of vulnerable people who have struggled with weight less and/or simply getting healthy, and want a quick fix for slimming down. Advertisements urge us to buy this because we deserve it, eat this because we’ve had a long week and need to indulge, or do this because it will make us feel more confident. It never ends, but within yourself, you’ll find all the answers.

Loving yourself means to go within and accept yourself the way you are. Nothing outside yourself will ever match the love you can give to yourself.

6. Set money aside for experiences, not material items.

We have covered this topic before in one of our previous articles that you may have read. Science now proves that we don’t get as much satisfaction out of buying material items as we do buying experiences, simply because the items don’t come with memories. We create memories when we try new things, and people are more likely to bond over a shared experience than, let’s say, the TV they both just bought. Before you turn 30, try to use your disposable income on experiences that will stay with you for years to come.

7. Volunteer.

Like we mentioned before, helping others gives you instant gratification. It will improve the lives of others while also helping you to better yourself and your life. You can find tons of local opportunities for volunteering if you just Google your city + volunteering, or talk to people from your community. Before you turn 30, learn to look out for others as much as you look out for yourself. This will truly bring you inner happiness and fulfillment.

8. Date different kinds of people.

We sometimes get trapped in a box of the people we should date, the people we should be, and the things we should do and say. However, going along with stereotypes or what feels the safest won’t help you grow. If you continue to date the same types of people, you won’t really figure out who you get along with best, or what type of person vibes the best with you. Before you turn 30, commit to meeting as many people as possible so that you can both grow as a person, and learn which types of people you connect the best with.

9. Relax.

Before you turn 30, learn how to disconnect from all the worries and stress in your mind. This might be the most important thing on this list, because so many people live in a continual state of anxiety and fear. Allow yourself to let go and ride the waves of life. You can’t control the outcome, but you can control your own reactions to it.

10. Take care of your health.

Before you turn 30, commit to eating healthy the majority of the time, and exercising regularly. Many people sadly experience health problems later in life that could’ve (most likely) been prevented with assurance of health.

How many of these things have you done before 30? Are you still doing them after 30? Let us know in the discussion below!

7 Warning Signs You Have Low Serotonin Levels

Serotonin is not only responsible for mood but appetite, pain reception, digestion, and sleep. While the term “serotonin levels” is most frequently mentioned along with depression and anxiety, low serotonin levels can result in many different symptoms and side effects.

Most people don’t particularly know – nor care to understand – the functionalities and importance of neurotransmitters. That is, of course, until they or someone they’re close to is impacted by some disorder potentially caused by the abnormal neurotransmitter activity.

The fact is that the brain’s neurotransmitters are primarily part of what makes us…well…us. These brain chemicals are wholly responsible for the myriad communications in our brain and body. In the brain, neurotransmitters relay neuronal signals that allow it to operate correctly.

Here are seven warning signs of low serotonin levels:

Serotonin is an inhibitory neurotransmitter…adequate amounts of serotonin are necessary for a stable mood and to balance any excessive excitatory neurotransmitter firing in the brain…serotonin also regulates many other processes such as carbohydrate cravings, sleep cycle, pain control and appropriate digestion. Low serotonin levels are also associated with decreases immune system function.Neurogistics.com

1. Craving sweet and starchy food

Carbohydrates, such as sweet and starchy foods, can indirectly impact serotonin levels. It is common for those with low levels to yearn for foods that are rich in carbs.

When the body ingests carbohydrates, more tryptophan – an essential building block of serotonin – becomes available. In turn, the brain and body produce more serotonin. Furthermore, many foods high in carbohydrates contain gluten, which is also addictive.

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2. Cognitive impairment

Serotonin is an essential chemical for normal cognitive function. Research has demonstrated that proper neurotransmitter levels improve mental ability and may help correct defective cognitive functioning.

While many believe that it plays a role in overall thinking abilities, its most significant impact is on memory. Those with low serotonin levels are more likely to have problems with memory consolidation.

3. Anxiety

Medications that boost levels are commonly prescribed to people suffering from anxiety. Brain imaging has shown that those with high anxiety have limited serotonin in areas of the brain responsible for impulse and emotional control.

It is worth noting that three other neurotransmitters, gamma-aminobutyric acid (GABA), dopamine, and epinephrine, also play a part in anxiety disorders.

4. Fatigue or Exhaustion

Serotonin levels have a marked effect on energy production. Some people who experience chronic fatigue undergo testing for insufficient amounts of the chemical. However, when they replenish, they go from fatigue to noticing a drastic improvement in energy levels.

As with many of the symptoms described in this article, feeling tired or exhausted can result from many different conditions. Chronic (long-term) fatigue increases the possibility of low serotonin in the brain.

5. Digestive trouble

It is an essential chemical for relaying signals between the brain and digestive system. Medical professionals have discovered a link between irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) and inadequate serotonin levels.

As demonstrated with IBS patients, digestive processes often resume normalized functionality when such deficiencies are corrected.

6. Insomnia

The amount of serotonin available also directly affects the production of melatonin. When serotonin levels are low, the ability to produce melatonin is impaired. As part of a domino effect, the circadian rhythm – an essential element of the sleep/wake cycle – is off-kilter.

When this happens, it is complicated for someone to follow a natural sleep/wake pattern. Specifically, the ability to fall and remain asleep is often negatively affected.

8. Libido changes

Among its many properties is serotonin’s effect on libido (sex drive). Low levels are directly linked to an increased desire to have sex but a diminished ability to connect emotionally or bond – not a good recipe for intimacy.

Further, fluctuations in serotonin levels, whether in production or reduction, can impact one’s attitude, not to mention physical capabilities, concerning sexual activity.

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Seven  Simple Ways To Boost Serotonin Naturally

Despite insistence from the medical community that prescription medications are the best way to increase and stabilize serotonin levels, there are numerous other ways that this chemical can be produced – without the nasty side effects of pharmaceuticals.

•      Get Some Sunlight

Without sunlight, your body wouldn’t be able to produce serotonin, making it critical for your survival. Many people with depression don’t make enough serotonin, and a lack of sunlight may contribute to this. When you go outside, sunlight hits your eyes and signals your brain to produce the neurotransmitter serotonin. This hormone helps boost your mood, regulate appetite, stimulate digestion and maintain a regular sleep-wake cycle.

So, serotonin doesn’t just help you wake up in the morning; it also contributes to feelings of sleepiness later in the day. Your body requires serotonin to produce melatonin, the hormone that promotes sleep. When you don’t get enough sunlight, your circadian rhythm becomes imbalanced, making it more difficult to fall asleep at night. It also can cause daytime drowsiness, irritability, depression, and other problems associated with poor sleep.

Make sure to get at least fifteen minutes of sunshine at sunrise and sunset to regulate your serotonin and melatonin production.

•      Exercise or meditate (or both!)

It’s well-documented that exercise can boost feel-good hormones due to the release of endorphins. Studies have shown that exercise helps reduce anxiety and depression because of an increase in two precursors of serotonin – tryptophan, and 5-HIAA. Scientists also found that exertion triggers increases in the firing rates of serotonin neurons, therefore stimulating the release of serotonin.

After an intense workout, most people report feeling a “runner’s high” because of this flood of neurotransmitters. So, if you want to increase your serotonin, aim for moderate or vigorous exercise at least three to four times per week. Stick with something you enjoy so that you will look forward to the workouts!

Meditation can also enhance serotonin production because it lowers stress and anxiety, putting the mind in deep relaxation. Several studies performed on participants following their meditation sessions found an increase in serotonin in the urine. One study of Transcendental Meditation practitioners observed higher levels of serotonin before and after participants’ meditation sessions when compared to the control group.

Many studies prove the benefits of meditation, as practiced throughout the world for thousands of years. All you need to do is sit quietly, surrender, and be present. Focus on your breath and let go of the world. All you’ll start to remember is your true self beyond the phenomenal world.

•      Eat carb and protein-rich foods.

Our diet plays a significant role in our mental and physical health. Certain foods have high levels of tryptophan, which gets converted into serotonin in the body. Make sure to add the following foods to your grocery list if you want to increase serotonin through your diet:

  • bananas
  • beans
  • chia seeds
  • dark green leafy vegetables
  • eggs
  • fruits
  • lentils
  • nuts and seeds
  • oats
  • pumpkin
  • salmon
  • tempeh
  • tofu
  • tuna
  • turkey

Since about 90% of the body’s serotonin is made in the gut, it’s crucial to maintain a healthy diet. By eating a balanced diet with fresh, whole foods, your body should naturally produce adequate amounts of serotonin.

•      Buy serotonin supplements (tryptophan, for example)

If you have a hard time eating tons of fresh foods, you can supplement with tryptophan. Called L-tryptophan, this essential amino acid is a precursor to serotonin and helps regulate mood. One study found that healthy individuals supplementing with tryptophan had a noticeable decrease in anxiety levels. They also had a more positive mindset after taking the supplement.

•      Get a massage

Massages instantly relax the body and mind, especially if you get a deep tissue massage. One study found that massage therapy decreased cortisol levels by 31% while increasing serotonin by 28%. In addition, dopamine levels increased by 31%, suggesting that regular massages can positively affect stress.

•      Take some B-vitamins (Supplements with a “B-complex” formula are ideal)

B vitamins such as B6 and 12 help the body convert tryptophan into serotonin. A healthy, balanced diet usually provides all the necessary B vitamins. But, if you have trouble getting enough, a B-complex vitamin can help fill in the gaps. Interestingly, many people with depression have low levels of B12 and folic acid, both essential vitamins for regulating moods.

•      Get some 5-HTP (also a beneficial treatment for hypertension, depression, fibromyalgia, insomnia, and anxiety)

5-HTP is another amino acid that converts into serotonin in the body. Experts usually recommend 5-HTP over tryptophan because it crosses the blood-brain barrier more easily. Also, it converts to serotonin more efficiently and has a more significant antidepressant effect.

Adults need to take 50-100 mg two times per day. Note that if you take antidepressants or other psychiatric medications, you shouldn’t take 5-HTP or other supplements that increase serotonin. This can cause a dangerous condition called serotonin syndrome, where the body produces too much serotonin.

There are many ways to boost serotonin levels naturally, and it may be beneficial to consult with either a medical or holistic/natural health professional. Despite their side effects, prescription drugs may be the answer for some. Although, trying one (or more!) of these natural serotonin boosters may do the trick.

As a bonus, laugh with friends and family as often as possible. Laughing helps release feel-good hormones such as serotonin, making life more bearable. We take life far too seriously nowadays, so perhaps doctors should start prescribing laughter to their patients! After all, they say laughter is the best medicine for a reason.

Also, stick to a sleep schedule since sleep deprivation can cause a negative mood and increase depressive symptoms. As long as you take care of your health, you shouldn’t have a problem producing enough serotonin.

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Final Thoughts on Natural Ways to Boost Serotonin Levels

Today, many people struggle with getting enough serotonin due to our unnatural ways of living. Humans require ample sunlight, fresh foods, relaxation, and exercise to feel our best. It isn’t easy to acquire all of these facets of health when we work inside most of the day. However, we can still learn to adapt and take care of our bodies despite difficult living conditions.

Patterning our sleep-wake cycles with the sun and moon can help restore our serotonin levels. Also, eating a balanced diet full of protein and complex carbs, meditating, exercising, and taking supplements can increase serotonin. It does take a bit of extra work to maintain our health nowadays, but you can start with one thing at a time.

Begin by taking supplements, as this doesn’t take much time out of your day, and you can manage it easily. Then, try waking up with the sun and walking a few times per week. Before you know it, you’ll start feeling more vibrant and cheerful due to the extra serotonin.

5 Things You Gain When You Let Go of Control

“The only reason you suffer is because you choose to suffer. If you look at your life you will find many excuses to suffer, but a good reason to suffer you will not find. Happiness is a choice, and so is suffering.” – Don Miguel Ruiz

Letting go of the need to control can help you open your arms to receive other good things. Being in control can be seen as a good thing, especially when we think of the opposite, which is being out of control. But clenching your fists too tightly around your need to control things can leave you stressed out.

We all know a Type A personality, control freak, or someone who is constantly rushing around seeming busy. These high-stress people have two things in common:

1) They want things to be a certain way
2) They get frustrated easily when things do not go their way

Related Article: Are You A “Type A” Or “Type B” Personality?

In this article we will look at the ways in which letting go of control can help you gain a sense of calm and acceptance that you didn’t know was possible.

5 Things You Gain When You Let Go of Control

The need to control our environment is a human trait. Ever since we have arrived on this planet we have had a desire to make our living arrangements more suitable to our preferences.

This constant need to change what is already there, to perfect what is already good-enough, and to set our expectations higher and higher leads to a state of disappointment with the present moment.

Those who feel the need to control things feel unhappy about the current state of their world. They seek to move things into a more pleasing configuration (rearranging furniture, modifying a recipe, setting strict standards of cleanliness, etc.)

1. When you let go of the need to control, you gain peace

Mindfulness starts with focusing on the present moment. People who need to be in control are always focusing on the future. They spend time planning for tomorrow instead of living today.

Related article: 11 Things to Remember When The World Feels Overwhelming

2. When you let go of the need to control, you gain self-control

Learning to be aware of your impulse to control is the first step toward releasing the need to always be in control. The second step is resisting the urge to act.

The ability to resist our impulses is a psychological skill that you can use to see positive changes in your life. Just like you resist the urge to eat a donut when you are feeling stressed, you should try to resist the impulse to act to control other people’s behavior and your environment. Replace this behavior with deep breathing, meditation or by taking a walk.

3. When you let go of the need to control, you gain patience

People who need to be in control have very little patience. They are insistent upon their needs being met urgently. They force themselves on other people and demand that their request is more important than someone else’s. These controlling personalities are the ones who push to the front of the line, who bark orders at others to get things done, and who yell at service representatives over the phone.

Living at a lower stress level allows you to accept that things will be done in their own time. To everything there is a time and season. Slow down to the pace of nature and let go of the need to control the process of reaching your goal. Take one step toward your goal now and let everything else unfold as it should.

4. When you let go of the need to control, you gain acceptance

Things are as they are, and in spite of your efforts to control them, you have very little control over a great deal in your life. Weather, traffic, other people’s actions, and the stock market are things that you will never be able to control.

Realizing that you lack control over huge areas of your life no matter how much you try to control other areas, should be eye-opening to you. All we truly have control over is our own responses, thoughts, emotions, and actions.

Acceptance of your powerlessness over other things is like releasing a huge burden off of your shoulder. You don’t have to try to control things, because in the end, you can’t control things, you can only influence them…

Related article: How to Release Attachments To Emotional Wounds

5. When you let go of the need to control, you gain your health

A study published in the British Journal of Medical Psychology, researchers followed subjects over a 10-year period to study the relationship between personality styles and death. It was found that personality variables were much more predictive of death from cancer or cardiovascular disease than was smoking, and that different personality types were susceptible to either of these two diseases. Personality type was defined in terms of differential ways of dealing with interpersonal stress, and it was found that stress was a very potent cause of death.

Can you guess which personality type was more likely to die from cardiovascular disease or cancer? If your guess was that the people who were a more controlling, Type-A personality were more likely to die, you would be correct. That is why letting go of control could help you gain your health, and longevity.

5 Ways to Love Yourself As Much As Your Partner

Most people put their partner’s feelings and needs way before they put those of their own. We have been taught that self-love is selfish or egotistical. In reality it is the only way to ever fully love another.

When you take care of your needs and your dreams anything you do will overflow with more love. We are magnets in what we put out into the world, reflects how we feel about ourselves.

Here are 5 ways to love yourself as much as you love your partner:

true love

1. Honor your feelings.

We are so busy occupying space with others that we forget to check in with our emotions. We ask our partners, “How are you feeling? Is there anything I can help you with?” But, when was the last time you sat yourself down, made a sacred space in your life, and asked the same questions?

When you ask yourself, “How am I feeling? What do I need right now?” something magnificent happens. We are answered with the of truth of our needs.

Give yourself compassion, love, support, and understanding. The moment you begin to honor yourself everything and everyone around you will begin to honor those feelings as well. The most powerful relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself.” ~Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

2. Connect with the spiritual part of your soul.

It is said that we are spiritual beings having a human experience. Your soul guides you to fulfill your dreams. Being authentic to what you desire is important. We tend to give ourselves completely to our partners and others in our lives. We dive into a relationship and the depth of all that is asked of us. There is a part of your essence that needs complete acknowledgment. If you cannot reach the sacredness of your truth then you cannot know what it is to take care of another.

Do you make time for yourself through yoga, exercise, meditation, prayer or just sitting outside? Do you journal? How do you communicate with your higher self? There is a need to truly embrace all facets of our humanity: mind, body, and spiritual connections.

Best selling author and relationship expert, Dr. Margaret Paul says, Love is not a feeling we generate from our mind. It comes from the heart when our heart is open to our source of love. When you open to learning with your higher power about loving yourself and others, love flows into your heart and you feel loved.”

3. Take time to play.

How do you entertain yourself? Do you ever go to a movie or a park alone? When was the last time you had a date with just yourself?

Those things you do with your partner are also things you can do alone with yourself. Part of loving yourself is also nurturing the inner child. Laughter and play time is important for the soul. Stuart Brown, psychiatrist and founder of the National Institute for Play in California says that play is a timeless state of being which is essential to humans. “Play is what builds complex, skilled, responsive, socially adept and flexible brains, which in turn build complex, skilled, responsive, socially adept and flexible people and societies.”

Related Article: 7 Signs You’re Still a Kid At Heart

The simple act of just taking a coloring book, sitting outside on the grass, and enjoying a half hour is enough to bring you joy. The same way you enjoy playing with others, it is imperative to do that for yourself. Your inner child will feel loved.

4. Take care of your needs.

Taking care of your body and health gives you a feeling of self-love and appreciation. Eating healthy foods, exercising and getting adequate sleep gives your emotional mind the clues that you are worth loving. It is also important to take care of your finances and home. When you live in a disarray of chaos you feel depleted. Think of the last time you cleaned out your closets, your room, and your garage. How did you feel?

Sometimes it feels like a giant load has been removed. When you respect your own space you are letting yourself acknowledge your importance. We forget to take care of ourselves and place children, family and partners above and beyond what we should be doing for the self.

Your body is the temporary temple of your Spirit. What you keep around you in the extended temple of your home needs to change as you change and grow, so that it reflects who you are. Particularly if you are engaged in any kind of self-improvement work, you need to update your environment regularly. So get into the habit of leaving a trail of discarded clutter in your wake, and start to think of it as a sign of your progression!” ~ Karen Kingston, Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui

5. Follow your bliss and create balance.

Work takes up a large part of our lives, so finding a career that fulfills us is important. Staying in a job that is not conducive to your soul’s yearning causes an imbalance of mind and body. Would you tell your partner to go look for another job if he/she was miserable? Would you help him/her find out what would be a good position?

Creating a work life that is fulfilling and uplifting brings harmony in all other aspects of your life. Placing your needs and abilities before anyone is one of the most rewarding ways to love yourself.

All work and no play manifest anxiety and depression. Put yourself first and foremost by honoring your passion. We are born with innate gifts that require time to polish. Do you like to make things? Check out different forums to sell them. Do you enjoy writing? Start a blog. You don’t have to do it all at once but start by taking baby steps.

You should not expect others to make you feel loved while filling a space you can only fulfill in yourself. Learning to take responsibility for your emotional, spiritual, financial, and physical needs will fill your heart with love. And, this love will overflow into other relationships. Owning your stories, being faithful in self-care, and living authentically will inspire others around you to do the same.

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