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5 Signs Your Friendship Is Bad For Your Mental Health

March 31, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Our friends should make us feel happy, exhilarated, alive, and most of all, healthy. Many people look to friends for support, community, and laughter, but when a friend doesn’t pull their weight or does something to intentionally hurt you, it can really damage your mental health. A friendship can, in large part, determine our happiness. After all, we require human connection for fulfillment, health, and happiness, so it’s of utmost importance to find people that we can bond with on a deep level.

Unfortunately, there are many unhealthy relationships. Why people keep up these harmful relationships, we can only speculate. However, any length of time that you feel your mental health has been compromised is far too long when it comes to friendships. In order to have a happy, healthy life, make sure to evaluate your mental state after having interactions with friends to see if they are really worth keeping around or not.

Here are 5 signs your friendship is bad for your mental health:

1. Feeling like you have to tiptoe around that person.

A real friend would never want you to hold back your thoughts and feelings, and encourage you to share whatever is on your mind. However, a friend that doesn’t support your mental health would make you feel as though you have to censor yourself around them. This friend might become easily upset or angry, so you feel you have to watch what you say around them in order to keep them happy. If you can’t feel comfortable around a friend and have to babysit their emotions, this friendship probably isn’t good for your mental state.

2. Excusing their behavior

Sometimes, we like to find excuses for someone’s actions in order to feel better about spending time with them. Maybe we understate what they’ve done, or blame it on them working long hours and just not having mental clarity. If this “friend” says something rude to us, we might just convince ourselves that they were “just joking” or “didn’t really mean it.” We can come up with all sorts of excuses to justify someone’s behavior, but that doesn’t mean their behavior should be excusable. If a person is continually rude to you, tries to belittle you, or disregards your feelings, they’re most definitely not going to promote positive mental health.

3. Feeling like you have to beg for them to hang out or make time for you

Real friends never blow you off or tell you they’re too busy to see you. While they might have to rearrange their schedule a bit, a true friend will never use lack of time or energy as an excuse to avoid hanging out. A clear sign of a true friend is that they always seem to follow through with their promises and see you no matter how busy their life gets.

They don’t allow life to take over and just toss you aside when things get hectic for them; they include you in their life, and set aside specific times each week to catch up with you. If you have a friend who constantly blows you off and ignores your calls or text messages, this can severely impact your mental health if you considered them a close friend.

4. Feelings of distress when you’re around them

If you’ve had this friendship in your life for a long time, you might just excuse these feelings as normal because you’ve gotten used to them. However, feeling anxious, depressed, or on edge around someone does not represent a healthy relationship. If you have a sense of dread before hanging out with them, and it only worsens in their company, they probably aren’t going to be good for your mental health. You should have friends who encourage you to better your life and make you feel excited and optimistic about it. If you feel the opposite around them, and you can’t seem to get through a conversation without feeling drained or depressed, you should definitely consider making new friends who will support you and look after your mental state.

5. Not feeling good enough in the friendship

A real friend will allow you to be whoever you want to be, without judgment. True friends don’t ask you to change the parts of yourself that even you can’t accept – they embrace you anyway, flaws and all. They put your insecurities to rest, and actually find beauty in your imperfections. A true friend will love and adore you for whatever you identify with, and will admire you for both your strengths and weaknesses.

True friends don’t place conditions on your friendships – they let you come as you are, and don’t put any pressure on you or the relationship. If you don’t feel good enough around this person, and they ask you to change your personality or specific things about yourself, you should leave the friendship before it impacts your mental health even further.

6 Things That Happen When You Don’t Sleep Enough

March 31, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Unfortunately in today’s society, many people suffer from sleep deprivation and the health problems associated with this growing epidemic. With one in three Americans beginning their day without getting enough sleep the night before, it comes as no surprise that the health of people today continues to decline.

Very important processes happen during sleep that cannot happen during any other time. Still, it seems that we don’t prioritize sleep as a collective. We put it off by staying on our phones, watching shows on Netflix, and doing anything we can to stave off sleep. Or, we have so much work to do that getting enough sleep seems like an impossible task.

Of course, we can’t always get the recommended amount of zzz’s. So an occasional deviation from this suggestion won’t do much harm to the body. However, continually skimping on it can do some serious damage to our mental and physical health.

A team of Norwegian neuroscientists studied what exactly happens in our brains when we don’t get enough. After observing sleep-deprived groups in a controlled environment, they found that lack of sleep can alter the white matter in our brains, and other studies have found that it can interfere with our genes.

While our bodies can repair the damage from not getting enough sleep, you will not feel at your best if you consistently get less than the recommended amount of shut-eye. Continually operating in a sleep deprived state can cause long-term health problems, such as the six listed below.

Here are 6 health problems that happen when you don’t sleep enough:

1. Cardiovascular Disease

Scientists have found the link between cardiovascular disease and poor sleep long ago, but a recent study presented at EuroHeartCare confirmed these findings more concretely. After observing 657 Russian men between the ages of 25 and 64 for 14 years, researchers discovered that almost two-thirds of the men who had a heart attack suffered from a sleep disorder as well.

Even more alarming, the men that had a sleep disorder also had a 2.6 times higher risk of myocardial infarction, a heart attack that occurs when the heart muscle dies, and a 1.5 to four times greater risk of stroke.

2. Alzheimer’s

Experimental Brain Research published a study showing that a lack of sleep contributed to poor decision-making, diminished reasoning, and problem-solving skills, and slower reaction times when faced with specific tasks.

Also, a 2013 study conducted by researchers at Johns Hopkins University found that a lack of sleep can both cause Alzheimer’s and serve as a catalyst for the disease. The study further backed up previous research that discovered sleep eliminates “cerebral waste,” or the white matter in the brain that can build up and cause dementia.

This study comprised 70 adults ranging between the ages of 53 and 91. Researchers found that the participants who reported getting poor sleep each night had a higher amount of beta-amyloid deposition in their brains on PET scans. This compound is one of the telltale signs of Alzheimer’s.Thus, the findings led the researchers to conclude that sleep deprivation prevents the brain from ridding itself of “cerebral waste.”

3. Obesity/Diabetes

A three-year-long study of over 21,000 adults evaluated the relationship between sleep and weight. It found people who slept on average of fewer than five hours a night were not only more likely to gain weight but were also at risk of becoming obese.

Also, a recent study by the University of Chicago revealed how bad sleep can lead to obesity and diabetes.

Researchers studied 19 men’s sleep patterns and found that those who got only four hours over the course of three nights had elevated levels of fatty acid within their blood between 4 a.m. and 9 a.m. Those who got 8.5 hours per night had a 15 to 30 percent decrease in fatty acids. What’s more, researchers found that the elevated levels of fatty acids caused a higher instance of insulin resistance, which ultimately leads to diabetes. So, those who got longer and deeper sleep did not have the same risk for obesity or diabetes.

4. Suicidal Thoughts

While this is not a disease by any means, it still should be noted as a health risk associated with lack of it. In 2014, a study found a link between increased incidences of suicide in adults and poor sleep, even if they didn’t suffer from depression in the past. A 10-year study conducted by researchers at the Stanford University of Medicine followed 420 participants ranging from mid to late adulthood. Out of this group, twenty participants who had trouble with sleep, unfortunately, committed suicide. As a result, the research team concluded that those with chronic poor sleep had a 1.4% higher chance of committing suicide.

5. Ulcerative Colitis

According to a 2014 study, both too much and too little can cause ulcerative colitis, an inflammatory bowel disease that causes ulcers in the lining of your digestive tract. Researchers from Massachusetts General Hospital found that getting the proper amount of sleep can ward off the inflammation that leads to digestive problems.

After following women enrolled in the Nurses’ Health Study (NHS) I since 1976 and NHS II since 1989, researchers concluded that risks of ulcerative colitis increased when the women got less than six hours of rest per night. Alternately, researchers also found that more than nine hours of sleep increased risks as well, suggesting that a small window exists for warding off inflammation in the gut. Although only adult women were part of the study, the increased chances of developing ulcerative colitis when in a sleep-deprived state existed no matter the age, weight, and lifestyle habits the women had.

6. Cancer

The American Academy of Sleep Medicine released a statement connecting the lack of sleep with higher rates of certain types of cancers. These included breast, prostate, and colorectal cancers. It also showed that people who slept longer than seven hours per night had the lowest mortality rates in the group.

The National Sleep Foundation released a revised sleep recommendation report based on age.

The new recommendations are as follows:

Older adults, 65+ years: 7-8 hours
Adults, 26-64 years: 7-9 hours
Young adults, 18-25 years: 7-9 hours
Teenagers, 14-17 years: 8-10 hours
School-age children, 6-13 years: 9-11 hours
Preschool children, 3-5 years: 10-13 hours
Toddlers, 1-2 years: 11-14 hours
Infants, 4-11 months: 12-15 hours
Newborns, 0-3 months: 14-17 hours

How To Release Attachments To Emotional Wounds

March 31, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Emotional pain is the attachment that holds us back from moving forward into a healthy life. These attachments block the way from creating a spiritual, emotional and physical connection with others. They are traumas that need to be pulled from the roots.

Here are 5 ways to release attachments to emotional wounds:

1. Clearing old thought patterns.

From the moment we are born, we are instilled with programming. Childhood is a time of learning and creating who we become in the future.

Spiritual healer and therapist Dan Sainsbury believes that in order to clear these old thought patterns, you have to be willing to approach them as if the issue is an entity itself. How and where do you feel the pain in the body? Speak to your soul and ask for the release of that particular issue. This is not a one-time technique. The deeper the thought pattern, the more difficult it is to release.

2. Dealing with limiting beliefs.

Self-worth embraces and feeds emotional wounds. Shifting from a negative belief to a positive one requires habit. This includes daily affirmations, mantras, and allowing yourself the ability to let go of control. Suppose you take an interest in someone but your limited belief system holds you back. Or you feel they might reject you. So you stop yourself from meeting that person. You are carrying past traumas of self-esteem and hurt.

Limited beliefs live in the subconscious. They are not at the level of awareness. You can alter these wounds by first ignoring the negativity, and then replacing the belief with a new awareness that you are worth it. It takes two positive thoughts to overcome a negative one.

3. Reprogramming the untruth to become your authentic truth.

Psychologists used to believe that reprogramming was just an emotional stimuli. Science has recently found that reprogramming will also be done via synthetic genetic devices that work on a cellular pathway controlling old forms and behavior. There is an “engineering of gene networks that has been limited by an inability to interface with native components.”

Reprogramming is not just on the spiritual and emotional body. What we carry from the past is stored in classes of RNA. In the future, your DNA can be altered to reach your authentic truth. For now, redirecting your thoughts is a matter of mind over matter.

4. Shifting awareness.

Our perception creates our reality. Wounds run deep in our memories. Not only do we store our emotions in the mind, but we also often rooted in our physical body. In order to release these attachments you must substitute one thought with another. You also need to take care of the issues that arise in physical form. Louise L. Hay, author of You Can Heal Your Life, “You have the power to heal your life, and you need to know that. We think so often that we are helpless, but we’re not. We always have the power of our minds…Claim and consciously use your power.”

Returning to the present moment and releasing the past creates a new awareness.

5. Letting go of suffering through forgiveness.

Rumi said, “The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” Suffering brings the opportunity to release and forgive. Forgiveness is not for anyone but yourself. Holding on to the past is destructive. In truth you cannot move on without forgiving yourself and the situation. Forgiveness is accepting what has happened and allowing for growth to intercede. It is about letting those old wounds heal and making space for new lessons. You cannot move forward without this release.

You have the ability to recreate, reprogram and reset your spiritual, emotional and physical body. It takes courage and conscious awareness. It requires that you show up and acknowledge those things through love and self-acceptance. You are perfect with all your imperfections. Sometimes those wounds are noticeable. Other times they are silent. It’s up to you to explore and release the fragments of the past.

“Sometimes we must undergo hardships, breakups, and narcissistic wounds, which shatter the flattering image that we had of ourselves, in order to discover two truths: that we are not who we thought we were; and that the loss of a cherished pleasure is not necessarily the loss of true happiness and well-being. (109)” ~ Jean-Yves Leloup, Compassion and Meditation: The Spiritual Dynamic between Buddhism and Christianity.

5 Things Your Skin Reveals About Your Health

March 31, 2016 by Power of Positivity

“Body organs aren’t all internal like the brain or the heart. There’s one we wear on the outside. Skin in our largest organ – adults carry some 8 pounds (3.6 kilograms) and 22 square feet (2 square meters) of it.” – National Geographic Science

Our skin is a very important organ that serves a variety of functions. The most important role of the skin is as a barrier to elements that would otherwise harm our bodies. However, being the most visible organ, our skin can also provide insight into the conditions of our inner body.

As a reference, our skin has three layers: the epidermis, dermis and subcutaneous (hypodermis). Physiologically, the epidermis is the outermost layer of the skin and provides a waterproof barrier. The dermis consists of connective tissue, hair follicles and sweat glands. The hypodermis is made of fat and connective tissue. We get our skin color from cells called melanocytes, producer of the pigment melanin. This process takes place in the epidermis.

This article focuses on common, acute skin conditions that generally have underlying causes. We’ll discuss the condition, causes and potential remedies.

Here are 5 things that your skin reveals about your health:

1. Acne

Description: A prevalent skin disorder with a number of different signs. Generally, acne produces blackheads, pimples, whiteheads, and cysts.

Potential causes: Cases of acne can arise by consuming excessive inflammatory foods, a diet lacking in nutritional value, a gut imbalance or hormonal activity.

The prolific nature of acne is not limited to teenagers, although this demographic provides insight into why acne occurs. In teenage years, the production of testosterone and other hormones causes the skin to increase oil production. Youths are particularly susceptible due to the wide-ranging physiological changes that are taking place.

Adult acne, although less common, generally occurs due to an inadequate diet, specifically one that is lacking in nutrition. A well-balanced diet is important for balancing hormones, reducing gut inflammation and a healthy immune system. When any of the functions are irregular, the skin is prone t to periodic outbreaks.

2. Dry skin

Description: Skin that is cracked, flakey and rough, producing undesirable effects such as itching and peeling.

Potential causes: Dry skin often occurs due to nutritional deficiencies, circulatory problems, or hormonal imbalances.

Dry skin isn’t always a byproduct of inadequate hydration, although that may also contribute to the condition. Furthermore, constant application of moisturizers and creams is not a preferred long-term solution.

Skin dryness that is persistent in nature can be the result of a hypothyroidism – insufficient production of thyroid hormones, problems with blood circulation, and exposure to certain environmental conditions. A diet lacking in nutrition is also a common cause of dry skin, making a well-balanced diet important to skin health.

3. Eczema

Description: A skin condition that encompasses rash that is scaly, itchy, and sometimes blistering. The rash is often found on the hands, feet, face, behind the ears, and in the flex points of knees and elbows.

Potential causes: Food allergens, skin irritants (soaps, shampoos, disinfectants), microbes, hormonal imbalances, environmental conditions

Eczema is an extremely uncomfortable and irritating skin condition that affects nearly 30 million Americans. The number of potential causes often makes a trip to the family physician a necessity, especially if the underlying cause is food allergens or environment-related. Eczema can result in asthma-like symptoms, including airway restriction and wheezing.

Food intolerance is a common underlying cause, as improperly undigested food can cause a condition called “leaky gut,” which unnaturally enhances the permeability of the small intestine. The condition can cause toxins to be released into the bloodstream and affect our immune system.

4. Psoriasis

Description: A common skin disorder that forms thick, red, bumpy patches covered by silvery scales. Psoriasis can appear anywhere, but is most often found on the elbows, knees, scalp and lower back.

Potential causes: Metabolic syndrome, overactive immune system, irritation of the gut

Psoriasis is a particularly difficult condition to live with, as its effects on the skin can be quite visible. Combining this with the fact that those suffering from the condition are often given a variety of non-effective treatments, those with psoriasis are often frustrated and searching for answers.

Medical professionals aren’t exactly certain what causes this skin condition, although they believe that an irregular immune system can cause skin inflammation, including psoriasis. Outbreaks can be triggered by strep infections, emotional stress, cuts, scrapes or surgery.

Fortunately, newer and more advanced treatments are now available for patients. These treatments include steroid creams, moisturizers, prescribed vitamin D cream, and retinoid creams. Doctors also recommend seeking lifestyle changes, which includes stop smoking, reduce alcohol intake, and eat a nutrient-dense, low-glycemic diet.

5. Skin tags

Description: Small, soft protrusions located on the neck or eyelids, or under the armpits, breasts or near the groin.

Potential causes: obesity, hormonal imbalance, blood-sugar conditions

Skin tags are another skin condition that can be caused by hormonal fluctuation. However, skin tags are more commonly caused by skin growth from high blood-sugar levels. Insulin resistance, something that potentially affects up to 75 percent of the population, is often the root cause of spikes in blood sugar.

Obesity can cause glucose to be converted into visceral fat, which significantly reduces the amount of glucose used for important bodily functions. This effect contributes to irregular fluctuations in blood-sugar levels and increases the likelihood of developing skin tags.

7 Things You Deserve In A Relationship

March 31, 2016 by Sarah Barkley

Many of us settle in our lives, giving in when we know that we deserve more. We settle into a relationship and don’t demand the treatment we know we should get. However, life doesn’t have to be this way.

You shouldn’t have to settle for the love you deserve to have, and you can make a change within your current relationship. Take a look at your love life and think about your happiness levels. If something needs to change, it’s up to you to ask for it.

When you recognize that you deserve more, you must speak up and tell your partner what you need. They won’t know unless you tell them, and your happiness depends on it.

Seven Things You Deserve in a Relationship

1. Mutual Trust and Respect

These are two things that you cannot buy or acquire. They grow with authenticity in a relationship and are necessary to feel at ease.

To have trust and respect, you must also be trustworthy and respectful. You cannot receive what you don’t have in yourself. Love yourself, respect yourself, trust in yourself, and the rest will follow.

“The truest form of love is how you behave toward someone, not how you feel about them.” – Steve Hall

2. Happiness

When you connect with your joy, the right person falls in alignment with you. Happiness arrives through the simplest forms in relationships. The grace of joy is a state of mind, and when you walk along with a partner who lifts you, the world is just sweeter.

You can overcome anything, and loving relationships won’t zap your happiness. They have happy couples that bring out the best in each other.

“Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.” – Robert A. Heinlein, Stranger in a Strange Land

3. Humor and Inside Jokes

In a loving relationship, you should have an abundance of laughter. It heals emotional wounds and encourages couples to stay together.

There is enough anger and stress out in the world. When you are with someone who can make you laugh at yourself, you are in the company of freedom.

You deserve to be open and joyous. Inside jokes, dirty stories, sarcasm, and play are needed to develop true love.

“He was uncomplicated and upbeat and easy. At one point, I might have thought these traits made him a simpleton, but now I think they translate to happiness.” – Emily Griffin, Baby Proof

4. Safety and Security

There is nothing more beautiful than sitting with your partner in silence and feeling their presence holding you. You can be vulnerable and comfortable with them each time. Safety and security are necessary for a lasting relationship, and you deserve to have them.

When your loved one has your back, there is nothing that you cannot accomplish. These connections happen within the heart, and you deserve to have someone hold you during hard times without judgment. There is a difference between a person trying to fix you and one who accepts you for all that you are.

“To be fully seen by somebody, then, and be loved anyhow – this is a human offering that can border on miraculous.” – Elizabeth Gilbert, Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage

5. Adventures and Serendipitous Moments

You deserve a partnership that creates beautiful and magical moments. Romance is never-ending, and you shouldn’t settle for mediocracy. Adventure comes in the ability to let go of rigidity and routine.

You and your partner should be able to create and recreate anything. Enjoy last-minute hikes, star gazing, or just a run to the coffee shop when you least expect it. Each moment that you leave normalcy is an ability to create simple memories full of love and appreciation.

“The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

6. Passion and Intense Intimacy

Studies show that sexual desire is more than an emotion that we crave. Arousal involves motivation and thought to process, and it’s not just a feel-good desire.

Relationships with passion and intense intimacy are healthy because it promotes a soul connection. Love builds on top of brain circuits that balance out the rest of our emotions. You deserve a partner that brings about the joy of acceptance and freedom of sexual expression.

“As if you were on fire from within. The moon lives in the lining of your skin.” – Pablo Neruda

7. Unconditional Love

You cannot get what you don’t have in yourself. When you love yourself with appreciation, understanding, and complete acceptance, another person can continue to create that space of unconditional love.

You deserve a love that sees the best in you, loves your quirks and imperfections, and can enhance your belief in yourself. Love has no limitations. It is the highest form of true altruism. In the presence of this kind of love, the world has no boundaries.

“The only way love can last a lifetime is if it’s unconditional. The truth is this: love is not determined by the one being loved but rather by the one choosing to love.” – Stephen Kendrick, The Love Dare.

How to Tell Your Partner What You Need in the Relationship

If you ever feel unfilled in your romance or like the connection is no longer strong, you must find a way to tell your partner. Whether you’re feeling neglected, abandoned, insignificant, or anything else, you should be able to communicate. You need to know that you matter to the person you care about, and sometimes you have to tell them what you need.

You’ll want to tell your partner in a way that gets you heard, but you’ll also want to be understood. Yelling or begging don’t always work, and you must find ways to communicate clearly. These methods should help you get your relationship back on track with both partners feeling cared for.

Step 1: Prepare for the Discussion

Preparing for the conversation is essential because you must make sure to discuss every point you want to make. Plus, you have to be in the right mindset for a mature conversation. Start preparing by thinking about why you feel your partner isn’t giving you what you need.

Think about all your thoughts regarding their treatment of you, from the other person being lazy to not caring about your needs. These are all thoughts to discuss, and thinking of them ahead of time will help you prepare. You must approach your partner about these thoughts, but give them the benefit of the doubt and remember that you are a team working through this together.

Step 2: Figure Out What You Need

Talking to your partner about your needs requires you to understand them yourself. You can’t ask your partner to fulfill your needs if you are unsure of them. Ask yourself what you need and how you want to accomplish those things because it should all be part of the discussion.

If you need more physical attention, it might be that you want to hold hands or hug more often. Likewise, if you need deeper communication, tell your partner that you want time to talk each day without any distractions. Determining the actions that will fulfill your need is essential to minimizing the problem.

Don’t expect your partner to know how to meet your needs because they might not need the same action. It’s best to be open and clear about what you want. Figuring it out before talking to your partner will help you state your needs.

Step 3: Remind Yourself of What Not to Do

Before approaching your partner, remember there are some things you should avoid. For starters, don’t blame, shame, or criticize them. If you do, they won’t take the rest of the conversation well, and the situation will remain unresolved.

Don’t withhold love from your partner, either. Distancing yourself or giving the silent treatment won’t encourage them to fulfill your needs. Instead of allowing your anger or sadness to worsen the situation, realize that your feelings are only your interpretation.

Your partner might not be withholding the things you need on purpose. Everyone needs different things, and their needs get fulfilled in different ways. You must understand your significant other isn’t trying to make you unhappy.

Step 4: Choose an Appropriate Time to Bring it Up

Talking about what you need while in the company of others probably isn’t ideal. Likewise, having an explosive public fight about it isn’t beneficial, either. Make sure you pick an appropriate time to talk about your thoughts and feelings.

Tell your partner that you have something important to talk about, and ask when a good time would be for them. This way, you don’t start a conversation without time to finish, and it doesn’t interfere with other essential things. The time should be beneficial for both of you.

Step 5: Praise Them

Start the conversation with something you’re happy about in the relationship. Praise your partner for something they did recently, and show that you recognize the good things, too. Your praise doesn’t have to be about important things, as mentioning the small instances is just as meaningful.

By starting the conversation with a positive comment, your partner will be more receptive to what you say. They’ll see that you recognize their efforts rather than feeling insulted and put down. It helps open you up to a discussion rather than your partner feeling blamed for not fulfilling your needs.

Step 6: Focus on How You Feel and Why You Feel That Way

Spend time thinking about how you feel and identifying the emotions. Figuring out how you feel can help you determine why.

For example, you might feel distant because you haven’t spent enough one-on-one time lately. Or, you feel angry and frustrated because household responsibilities aren’t shared equally. As you communicate with your partner, tell them how you feel and why so that the conversation doesn’t get off-topic.

Step 7: Specify Your Need

You’ve already identified what you need, but you must be clear about it with your partner. Tell them that it’s essential to fulfill the need and be specific about it. Your significant other might not always understand what you’re saying if you aren’t clear.

Step 8: Ask Them to Do Whatever it is You Need

Sometimes all it takes to fulfill your need is to ask your partner to do it. If you need more physical affection, ask them to cuddle with you. When you need help around the house, ask for it.

Asking for what you need doesn’t always work, but there’s a good chance it will. Your partner might not realize what you need but would be more than willing to do whatever it is if they knew.

If they’re okay with fulfilling the need but would instead do it another way, be open to discussion. When they can meet your needs another way, negotiation can give both of you what you deserve.

Step 9: Ask if There’s Anything Else They Want to Talk About

Don’t make your significant other feel like you’re having a one-sided conversation. Let them know you’re listening to their concerns and needs, too.

If they bring something up, make sure you give them the same respect and attention. Your lover’s needs might be different than yours, but they still matter just as much.

Step 10: Use the Word ‘We’

When you say “we” instead of only referring to yourself, it gives your partner an invitation to participate. It helps them understand what you want and need and reassures them that you want to do that with them. You can work on a plan together rather than leaving your partner feeling isolated.

Step 11: Say Thank You

When you thank your partner for listening, it shows them how much you care. It also shows your partner that listening to your needs and allowing you to share is meaningful to you. Plus, they’ll feel appreciated, which can be beneficial after a conversation about the things you need.

Other Things to Remember About Building a Relationship

Here are a few final thoughts on maintaining a healthy partnership.

Remember Every Conversation Is Not Make-Or-Break

Please don’t give your partner a request that they must change, or you’ll walk away. While you deserve to have your needs met, your partner deserves a chance. If you’re already at the point of ultimatums, there might not be much left to save.

The first time you talk to your partner about what you need and want doesn’t have to be the only time. It might require occasional reminders or suggestions. Consider that change takes time and doesn’t always happen overnight.

Understand That Your Partner Can’t Know What You Need Unless You Tell Them

You can’t expect your partner to know what you need from them. Please don’t get angry when they don’t know, and make sure you communicate clearly. When you stay calm, your lover is more likely to take what you say to heart.

Although many people think they need someone to complete them, it’s not how things work. Don’t assume it’s a negative sign if your partner doesn’t automatically know what you want or need.

Don’t Make It Personal.

No one is perfect, including you and your significant other. Neither of you is better, and unfulfilled needs aren’t about personal shortcomings.

Don’t make the conversation about what your partner isn’t giving you. Instead, it should be a conversation about how you should treat each other.

It shouldn’t only be one of you that changes, either. Since no one is perfect, there will be things your partner would like to be different, too. Don’t take any of it personally because it’s all about bettering your relationship.

Final Thoughts on Knowing You Deserve Only the Best from Your Relationship

You deserve to have your relationship needs meeting in a way that works for you. Don’t sacrifice meaningful things to avoid having a conversation about it. Your partner wants to fulfill your needs and make you happy, so don’t be afraid to speak up.
Spend time thinking about what you need and how you want it fulfilled. Don’t ambush your partner, either, as timing is crucial. You deserve to feel fulfilled, and communication can make all the difference.

8 Signs You May Have Depression

March 30, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Depression is a serious medical attention that afflicts millions of individuals worldwide. Contrary to popular belief, depression’s symptoms are not limited to feelings of sadness. In fact, the illness encompasses a wide range of symptoms – some of which are described below – that negatively affect everyday life.

“In 2014, an estimated 15.7 million adults aged 18 or older in the United States had at least one major depressive episode in the past year. This number represented 6.7% of all U.S. adults.” – National Institute of Mental Health

One of the essential aspects to understand about depression is that not everyone will experience the same symptoms. Depression is an enigmatic illness, and one that even the most brilliant medical minds don’t yet satisfactorily comprehend. Depression is also a very individualistic illness, and a symptom that arises or don’t arise often depends on each person’s brain chemistry.

Furthermore, some people will experience one symptom while other’s more than one. Also, the illness will range in duration, from acute (short-term) to chronic (long-term). People may experience short or long episodes, take or not take prescription medication, etc.

It is our sincere hope that the following list and description of eight common signs of depression may help someone understand their possible condition. Should you or someone you love suffer from such an illness, it is our intention to provide hope…even in such difficult circumstances.

Here are 8 signs you may have depression:

1. Frequent feelings of sadness

They call it “depression” for a reason, and that’s because it is, well, depressing. Occasional sadness is usually temporary and fleeting. Frequent, inexplicable feelings of sadness are a likely indicator of depression. Medical professionals believe that a chemical imbalance of the brain, specifically a lack of the neurotransmitter serotonin, is to blame for the frequent sadness that often accompanies depression. Doctors are more likely to diagnose a patient with depression if that person has frequent (daily) feelings of sadness over at least a two week period.

2. Loss of interest may reveal depression

Most people that suffer with depression have hobbies or activities that interested and engaged them prior to the onset of depression. The illness has a diabolical way of “clouding over,” or masking feelings of activities that once sparked feelings of engagement and joy. Those that experience this symptom generally have feelings of apathy towards activities that once created joy. Further, they generally recognize their newfound feelings of indifference to once-enjoyable activities.

3. Fluctuations in weight

This symptom can be experienced in one of two ways: a noticeable tendency to eat more or a limited desire to eat at all. The former usually results in some degree of weight gain, while the latter predictably results in weight loss. It is not uncommon for those with depression to unintentionally gain or lose more than 5 percent of their body weight in a month.

4. Insomnia or excessive sleepiness

Similar to the third sign, this symptom is also experienced to one of two extremes: excessive sleepiness or excessive wakefulness. Depression effectively manipulates the chemical activity in the brain, including in regions that control sleep/wake cycles. As such, it is very common for those with depression to have either prolonged periods of insomnia or prolonged, frequent periods of sleep. Fortunately, natural remedies exist that can aid with re-attaining normal sleep patterns.

5. Fatigue may come from depression

An unexplainable lack of energy is another all-too-common symptom of depression. In attempts to regain energy, those with depression may attempt to sleep more, although this is a rather counterproductive measure that generally results in oversleeping. Fatigue is a far-reaching symptom of depression, affecting one’s emotional, cognitive, physical and social elements.

6. Brain fog

Since depression counteracts multiple brain chemicals, it’s unsurprising that cognitive ability is often interrupted. Unfortunately, focus and concentration is also impaired, which affects the ability to think clearly. It is also quite common for those suffering with depression to produce work that is below their traditional standards of quality, so trouble in the workplace or at school is a common occurrence. Individuals with depression frequently report that a type of fogginess is noticeable in their thinking patterns, commonly referred to as “brain fog.”

7. Suicidal thoughts

One of the more tragic outcomes of depression is suicide – approximately 60 percent of those with depression have suicidal thoughts, of which about 15 percent take their own lives. 60 percent is quite a significant number, although unsurprising given depression’s often damaging psychological impact. Usually, those with suicidal ideations have low levels of self-esteem and an unnaturally distorted outlook on life’s prospects.

If you need someone to talk to right now, you can call 988 for help right away.

8. Substance abuse may result from having depression

The abuse of drugs or alcohol is a key escape mechanism for those who suffer from this disease. Sadly, these individuals need something…anything…that will relieve the continuous thoughts that are the source of distress, even temporarily. Most at risk are those who have an underlying substance abuse disorder combined with depressive symptoms. It’s worth mentioning that substance abuse can breed those dark emotions and vice-versa.

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Here are 8 signs you may have depression:

1. Frequent feelings of sadness

2. Loss of interest may reveal depression

3. Fluctuations in weight

4. Insomnia or excessive sleepiness

5. Fatigue may come from depression

6. Brain fog

7. Suicidal thoughts

8. Substance abuse may result from having depression

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