Inspiration to your inbox

Which Love Language Do You Speak?

Which Love Language Do You Speak?

An unhappy relationship, as per Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The Five Love Languages, comes down to basic roots. We speak different love languages. Dr. Chapman has been a counselor for over 30 years and has identified five love languages.

“Love can be expressed and received in all five languages. However, if you don’t speak a person’s primary love language, that person will not feel loved, even though you may be speaking the other four. Once you are speaking his or her primary love language fluently, then you can sprinkle in the other four and they will be like icing on the cake.”

As you read the following, can you identify yours?

What is your love language?

love language

1. Words of affirmation.

Using loving words is a sure way to get into someone’s heart. Are you easily moved by words of encouragement? There is a big difference between nagging and supportive words. Someone who has this needs to hear encouraging words from their mate. You thrive on words of kindness. On the same token you also use this language to love another and show support. Something as simple, “You are a great husband/wife. I appreciate you so much. Thank you for all that you do.” In today’s techno world a simple text of loving words hits the spot. A post-it note on the car seat will go a long way with your spouse. Words are beautifully used to enhance the emotions of love so a person with this love language gets hurt on negative words. Remember that the tongue has no bones, but it is strong enough to break a heart.

2. Acts of service.

Doing something without asking or expecting can be magical for the person with this love language. Do you find yourself doing things for your spouse for not reason but because it feels good? Do you also expect him/her to show you through action? This language is an expression of love without the use of words or explanation. If you enjoy when your mate takes out the garbage, puts gas in your car, vacuums, fixes things that you cannot fix, gives you time alone to take a long bubble bath while he watches the kids, or cooks dinner when you are running late, this is your language of love.

3. Receiving gifts.

This love language has nothing to do with materialism or possessions. This is about acknowledgment. If you have this love language and your mate forgets to bring you a birthday card, you will be deeply hurt. Receiving gifts is about the gesture behind the action. Gifts are gestures of love and appreciation. Something as simple as bring home your mate’s favorite candy can feel like Christmas morning to them. Small gestures go a long way with this language. You don’t have to purchase anything to touch the heart. It’s about giving from a place of gratitude and appreciation.

You cannot force someone to accept an expression of love. You can only offer it. If it is not accepted, you must respect the other person’s decision.” ~ Gary Chapman

4. Quality time.

Spending quality time means having undivided attention. This love language represents anything from TV watching together in bed, reading next to each other, walking in a park, or sharing a dessert. It’s about creating special memories through togetherness. It can be a lovely as staring at a full moon with a glass of wine. If you love spending time with your loved one more than anything else then this is your love language. We are a busy generation. Do not let the hectic schedules of work, children, or commitments disrupt the time you spend with your loved one.

5. Physical touch.

This type of touching doesn’t mean the act of sexual relations. The language of physical touch is about being caressed and loving without being intimate. If you love when your mate passes by you and rubs your shoulders, or holds your hand in public, then most likely this is your love language. A tight hug in the morning with a peck on the lips brings a feeling of new beginnings to your day. It’s as subtle as a kiss on the cheek. We are physical beings. The person with this love language who has been neglected for a long period of time will be very unhappy in their relationship. Just as children need hugs, so do adults in relationships. Make the time to show your love through a physical gesture on a daily basis.

You can have several types of these love languages. There is one that stands out, dominating the others. Once you know your primary love language, and that of your loving partner, you can understand them better. We all communicate in different ways, but having a deep sympathetic reaction of how we love and need love, is a helpful addition to any relationship. After all love, is not just a noun…it’s also a verb.

For love, we will climb mountains, cross seas, traverse desert sands, and endure untold hardships. Without love, mountains become unclimbable, seas uncrossable, deserts unbearable, and hardships our lot in life.” ~ Gary Chapman

11 Quotes To Remember When You Feel Stressed

–Sometimes we need a little help to remember that this moment will pass. A few words, an affirmation, can make a world of difference. Here are a few quotes to remember when you feel stressed and overwhelmed in your life.

11 Quotes To Remember When You Feel Stressed

1. “A negative mind will never give you a positive life.”

stressed

Shifting your perception changes your mood. Positive thoughts vibrate at a higher level, thus creating a calm state of alignment. Negative thoughts reinforce negative actions. Think in terms of love, happiness, hope, and grace.

2. “Everything you need will come to you at the perfect time.”

stressed

Life is not a long journey of unrelated events. Everything happens in divine order. When you are stressed it’s important to step back and remember that things have an order for lessons, obstacles and outcomes. Trust in your inner guidance.

3. “I am in competition with no one, I run my own race, I have no desire to play the game of being better than anyone, in any way, shape or form. I just aim to improve, to be better than I was before. That’s me and I’m free.”

competition quote

When we are under stress we forget our authentic power of manifesting change. Keeping it real is mind over matter. Stay in the present and realize the potential of your power. You are traveling at your own pace and your own timing.

4. “Today’s a perfect day for a whole new start. Let go of fear and free your mind. It’s time to open your heart.” ~ Chris Butler

today quote

What better way to find joy than to let go and free your mind. Go meditate if you feel stressed. Go take a hike. Sit outside under the sun. Let go of all the chit chat. Today is a whole new day. You woke today to the privilege of great possibilities.

5. “Always believe that something amazing is about to happen.”

always believe

Instead of focusing on the problem, step away and remember that there is magic around you. You get to create the future with your thoughts. Journal your dreams. Write a letter to your self with a list of what you want in your life. Let mysticism be your driven force.

6. “I’ve decided to be happy because it is good for my health.” ~ Voltaire

voltaire quote

Deciding to be happy is a choice. It’s a mood enhancer. Think of a happy place, or a precious memory. Breathe in those mental scenes and smile. Bring joy into your space.

7. “Don’t wait to pray until you need something. Pray and be thankful everyday for your blessings!”

pray quote

Prayer is a connection with the Divine. It brings hope and grace. It calms the mind. To shift the focus of a problem and allow faith to help is re-directing the negative focus. Letting go and letting God take the wheel is a release of the issues at hand.

8. “Don’t allow other people to hold the key to your peace of mind.”

quote

You are the creator of your life. Take full responsibility for your choices, actions and reactions. You know better than anyone what’s best for you. You get to decide what’s needed in your life. Stay brave and focus on creating a life of peace.

9. “Ships don’t sink because of the water around them; ships sink because of the water that gets in them. Don’t let what’s happening around you get inside you and weigh you down.”

stressed

Never let the negativity or toxic energy around you weigh you in your decision making. What weighs you down will bring about other ailments. You are not Atlas having to carry the world on your shoulders. Take one step at a time and clear all the water in your ship.

10. “A quiet mind is able to hear intuition over fear.”

quote

Silence is golden when you are stressed. Shut down the mind chat through meditation. Listen to your inner guidance. Ask and wait. Fear is an illusion.

Related article: 7 Signs You Need To Chill Out

11. We’re so busy watching out for what’s just ahead of us that we don’t take time to enjoy where we are…

stressed quote

When you are stressed out it feels like you are filling an imaginary bucket of fears for what hasn’t happened and might never will. Detach, move, change positions and bring in some good thoughts. Breathe the sweetness of possibilities in the present. Your mind, body and spirit will thank you for it.

6 Signs You’re Stuck In A Spiritual Prison

Spirituality is a personal facet of many people’s lives. It is a path that we try to move through while being fully present in human form. Being “spiritual” is not about religion. It’s about picking from different belief systems, philosophies, or religions and choosing a personal direction. This direction is often a lonely path for us. It is intimate. Here are six signs of spiritual imprisonment that force us to continue looking beyond what the soul is here to do.

6 signs of spiritual imprisonment:

1. Not forgiving the past.

The lack of forgiveness is one of the biggest imprisonments in spiritual growth. Our memories store everything. You move through days without knowing what is composing or being kept in cellular memories. When you least expect it you step on that thorn of the past and the pain, abuse, belittling, and self-worth issues overwhelm you. You don’t let go. You continue to carry the horrific acts of the pain in every part of your being. Forgiveness is never for the other person. It is for you to move past the bars of solitary confinement. Open the gate of your prison cell by forgiving your part in that story and letting go of whatever the other person did to you.

The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.” ~ Steve Maraboli

2. Remaining in a depression for years without help indicates spiritual imprisonment.

Depression is a form of spiritual imprisonment. We have faith. We ask for God’s guidance but choose not to act on our resources. Spirituality forces us to look at the Shadow side of the self. The dark night of the soul is a symptom of higher conscious evolution. During this period, there is a total eclipse of sadness and confusion. The world as it was is no longer.

There are definitely times when we must suffer God’s absence, when we are called to enter the dark night of the soul in order to pass into some new understanding of God, some deeper communion with him and with all creation. But this is very rare, and for the most part our dark nights of the soul are, in a way this is more pathetic than tragic, wishful thinking. God is not absent. He is everywhere in the world we are too dispirited to love.”~ Christian Wiman

3. Not living through your authentic nature.

We constantly try to experience love with others, waiting for another to value us, but it starts with the self. If you don’t see your worth, no one else will ever see it either. Spirituality often makes it difficult to distinguish how and what we feel. What’s right? We live behind the prison bars of self-doubt because who we are as spiritual beings doesn’t align with what society expects from us. In some cases it’s not about being brave.

It’s about being conscious of your survival. We are spiritual beings having human experiences. This means we must step into the truth of who we are and the purpose of our existence.

4. Being stuck in an unhealthy relationship.

Our spiritual nature requires a passion for life. We are not meant to suffer in eternal hell through another. We learn from these experiences but if we don’t surpass and move on it all becomes spiritual stagnation. It can be difficult to end a relationship, even when divine guidance nudges us to move on. But, to stay is an act of self-sabotage, spiritually and emotionally. It becomes cancer that slowly eats our insides.

As you evolve spiritually, you begin noticing certain relationships’ toxic nature. To read about how spirituality can actually benefit relationships, see our related article here.

5. Obsession with television, porn, and social media.

Spirituality requires quiet time to reflect and meditate. The temptations of overexposing the soul to addictions to computers, television, or technology are constant. It’s difficult to find a common ground to disconnect and breathe. Everything should be done in moderation. We live in a 3-D world, but spirituality is not 3-D. It requires us to move past the chit-chat. It’s bad enough that we are addicted to our thoughts. Addiction is imprisonment to the soul’s yearning for peace, connection, and spirit.

6. Not following your passion and using your spiritual gifts.

A mundane life, full of stress without play, is the kiss of death to the spiritual person. We are meant to live our life’s purpose. Spiritual growth requires that we look at our passion and gifts. We must follow them and have them work for us. If you love writing, do something about it. If you enjoy playing an instrument, find a time and place to share it with others. When we align with joy and our innate abilities, abundance follows. We are meant to live out our dreams and desires.

You have the answers to all your spiritual questions. With you, you carry the spiritual knowledge to change, feed and enhance your life through divine guidance. You are all there is. You must take a long, hard look at what is working and what is not. Then let go of what is no longer working through your spiritual connections.

There is no passion to be found playing small – in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.”Nelson Mandela

7 Ways to Move Forward When You Feel Emotionally Paralyzed

Have you ever felt like you couldn’t keep going due to being drained emotionally? It happens to the best of us, and often when we least expect it. Being emotionally paralyzed means that we’ve been through so much turmoil that our minds and spirits have a hard time processing it all, so we begin to shut down mentally. When we go through trauma, taking time for ourselves is perfectly understandable and normal. However, when we start to fall into a habitual state of emotional fear and stress, this is where it can become a problem. Here are some ways to move on when you feel you can’t any longer.

7 Ways To Move Forward When You Feel Emotionally Paralyzed

1. Breathe

Deep and purposeful breathing is our best tool against anxiety, frustration and overall negative feelings. When you start to feel tension in your neck or butterflies in your stomach, take a minute and breathe deeply.

Close your eyes and focus on your breath. Breathe in deeply through your nose and visualize your entire body filling up with your breath. Then slowly exhale through your mouth and watch the breath leave.

Do this five times and feel the incredibly relaxing effects it has on your body and mind.

2. Declutter

Clutter can rob you of the vital energy you need to live your best life. Spending just a few minutes decluttering the spaces you live and work in can have a huge impact on enhancing your life.

Make a conscious choice to declutter. This will free you up to appreciate what you have and focus your attention on the things that matter most. Start small with a shelf or a drawer. You will be surprised how far you can get with just ten minutes of decluttering.

3. Do what scares you

Ride a motorcycle, go zip-lining, parachute, climb a mountain, go surfing, or go skiing. Overcoming your fears is one way to live life on the edge. Get in front of an audience in Open-Mic night at any local cafe or bar. Join a meet-up group and explore an area near where you live. Take a cruise alone. Go to a homeless shelter and help for a day. Take flowers to a stranger in a hospital. Leave a sweet note on a neighbor’s door. To get over fears, you must tackle them head on…you cannot go around them.

4. Give up the “all or nothing” mentality

Even the most positive, self-confident people in the world have spells of insecurity and negative thinking sometimes, but it can become debilitating if you actually believe these thoughts. For example, let’s say you want to get a higher paying job. You might tell yourself “If I don’t land this job, then I will never find anything else and that means I just don’t deserve anything better.” See how damaging this type of thinking can be? By telling ourselves we won’t find happiness and fulfillment unless a certain event occurs, then we have vested all our faith and energy in an outcome. This means that if something different happens, our rigid way of thinking will prevent us from seeing the bigger picture, and realizing the universe simply had different plans for us.

Rather than thinking in absolute terms and conjuring up the worst case scenario in your mind, start thinking more realistically. Self-defeating thoughts can really prevent you from living up to your full potential, and trick you into thinking you can never change your life due to one event or situation.

5. Stop comparing yourself to others.

Comparison does nothing for you, except make you doubt yourself and feel inferior to others. It can make you feel worthless if you expect your life to look exactly like someone else’s, and will most certainly only pave the road to disappointment. Or, you could use it in the opposite way, in order to feel better about yourself and where you’re at in life. It helps to remember that everyone here is on their own journey, and no one is inherently better than anyone else. We all have our own roads to take, our own destinies to fulfill. Your path will look differently than your neighbor’s, your sister’s, and your friend’s, and this doesn’t mean you have chosen the wrong route.

It means you have certain lessons you need to learn here that might differ from others, so stop comparing your journey to everyone else’s. Focus on how you can become a better person, and everything will start to fall into place.

6. Replace the “I Can’ts” with “I Can’s”

Another form of degrading thoughts, the “I can’t” mentality can stop you in your tracks before you’ve even taken a step forward. If you don’t think you’re good enough or deserving of something, then of course, it won’t show up in your life because you’ve created a blockage. You have put up walls to keep out potentially amazing things from manifesting in your reality, and told yourself you can’t achieve what you want before you even try. The universe works with the Law of Attraction, so whatever you think will show up in your life, regardless of if you want it or not.

If you don’t like what you see in your life, the primary culprit here is your mind. Change your thoughts, change your life!

7. Spend 10 minutes a day in gratitude.

Focusing on the things that we are grateful for every day brings the good in our life into focus. What better way to move on in life than to realize you already have everything you need to begin with?

10 Stories That Will Make You Believe In True Love

Love has no expiration date. There is hope and faith in knowing that someone out there is waiting on your heart to unite. Lovers come into this life on a treasure hunt. They move through years as scavengers waiting to find “that one” individual that will connect with them. If you have lost hope in love, please read these love stories that will restore your faith in true love.

Here are ten stories that will make you believe in true love:

love

1. The sweet couple who died holding hands.

Both in their 90’s, Norma and Gordon Yeager died holding hands in the intensive care unit at a hospital after a car crash. Having been married for 72 years, they left this world together. Gordon passed on first and then shortly, an hour later, his wife followed him while their hands remained locked together.

2. A couple is torn apart by war.

Anna Koslov kissed her husband, Boris, goodbye as he left for Russia’s Red Army. They were only married for three days. Boris returned home from his military commitments to find a vacant house. Anna was gone. Under the regime of Joseph Stalin, she and her family went into exile in Siberia. There was no contact between the husband and wife after that.

But, Boris spent years searching for this beloved. Over many years Anna and Boris remarried and had their families. Boris became a writer and dedicated his first book to Anna. In 2007, after becoming a widow, Anna went back to her home time to visit the house that Boris and her had spent their only three nights as a married couple. By a serendipitous course of events, on the same weekend that Anna was back home, Boris was was visiting his parent’s gravestone. After more than sixty years, they were reunited with their eternal love finally as husband and wife.

3. Apart for only one day.

Helen and Les Brown were married for 75 years. He was a photographer and she sold real estate in Long Beach, CA. They met in high school and got married at 18. They were always together until their last day on earth. Helen died July 16, and Les died July 17. They had a joint memorial a few days later.

4. Two strangers model for a hotel brochure and end up falling in love.

Two attractive young employees of De Vere Dunston Hall, a hotel in England, were hired for the hotel’s brochure. The hotel asked models Amanda Semmence and Kieron Dudle to pose as bride and groom for their advertisement. Soon after, Amanda and Kieron began a beautiful relationship. Three years later, they got married at the place where they had become the pretend bride and groom.

5. High school reunion.

Cathy Kennedy and Denis Keeran went to a private high school in Central Florida. He was the geek, and she was the cheerleader. He had his eye on her way back then. She never noticed him. They graduated and life took them on separate journeys. Both got married, had children and grandchildren. Both lost their spouses after 38 years of marriage. And, then through a deep emotional moment (after the loss of his wife to cancer) Denis decided to attend their 40th high school reunion, hoping to see “that beautiful girl” that made his heart skip a beat way back then. He finally got the belle of the ball. They are having the time of their lives.

6. Retired postmaster creates a replica of Taj Mahal.

Faizal Husun, 71 years old,creates a replica of the Taj Mahal in memory of his late wife,Tajammuli. They were together for more than 58 years. When she passed away 3 years ago he begin recreating the famous monument as a devotion of his wife, utilizing all of his savings, and only hiring workers whenever he has extra income. The mini structure is still under construction.

7. Cycling from India to Sweden for love.

In 1971, Pradyumana Kumar was a renowned artist in India. He made a portrait of Charlotte Von Sledvin who was visiting from Sweden. They immediately fell in love. According to rituals in India they got married, and shortly thereafter, Charlotte had to leave back to Sweden. Pradyuman did not go with her because he had not money and refused for her to pay for his ticket. He did promise to join her one day. Pradyuman cycled to Sweden, taking him five months to reunite with his wife. They have been married for over 40 years and have two children.

8. In spite of being disowned by his family man reunites with the love of his life.

For over 34 years, Ashok Jain remained in love with his Hindu Bengali girlfriend. His orthodox family could never accept the religious differences. He was scrutinized and disowned. He left his family and went on to start a new life with his love. Once he found a job, he began his own family five years later.

9. The incredible gay couple who fled India for the freedom of love.

Amit Gokhale and Sameer Samudra left India and settled in the United States to give their love a fighting chance. Their family members, as most of India, do not accept homosexuality. They are supportive of each other and what their love means to them regardless of how their country sees their relationship. Now in the USA they can make their relationship legal.

10. Love is sweeter the second time around.

After 48 years of being apart, an English couple finds love again. Ollie Ingram and Wills Holmes fell in love in 1955, but their union ended after 10 years. Ollie explains that their first marriage failed because they tied the knot too early. After decades apart and other marriages, the couple ran into each other at a party and rediscovered their love for one another. Both widowed, at 76 and 79 years old, decided to remarry. Wills says, “I never thought I would be lucky enough to marry the woman of my dreams twice in one lifetime. Ollie looked as beautiful as the first time, and we know it will last this time.”

The heart expands with each connection. It vibrates, learns, and teaches the brain exactly what survival needs. We do not live solely for ourselves. We are here to unite, attach, and bridge the way from one heart to another. It doesn’t matter if it takes 20, 40, or 60 years. In matters of the heart, there is no timeline. At age three, you can meet your soul partner and move through different experiences and journeys. Love is eternal.

Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone – we find it with another.”~ Thomas Merton

9 Reasons Why You Need At Least One Crazy Friend In Your Life

You might already know about the numerous health benefits of having great friends in your life, but what about having a crazy friend to boot? Friends laugh with us during the good times, cry during the bad, and just help us through life. They understand where we’ve been and support our direction, but crazy friends add a little bit more to the mix. They take away the seriousness of life and give us laughter and good memories.

Here are nine reasons why you need at least one crazy friend in your life:

crazy friend

1. They turn that frown upside down

Crazy friends will make you laugh at the drop of a hat. They have a lighthearted, carefree approach to life and enjoy making people feel good and forget their problems. A crazy friend won’t let you stay in a bad mood for too long because their contagious humor will quickly lighten your load and make you forget about your problems, at least for a little while.

2. They challenge us to try new things

A crazy friend won’t let you stay in the confines of familiarity – they’ll push you to step outside your comfort zone and show you what you’re truly made of. Always wanted to go skydiving but too afraid to go through with it? No worries, that crazy friend of yours will accompany you to help you knock one of your bucket list items out.

3. They have a positive outlook on life

Crazy people normally have a great outlook on life; their upbeat personalities and great sense of humor prove that. These people have been through a lot in life, just like all of us, but they’ve chosen to use those experiences to better themselves and to teach them that life is truly what we make of it. So, they’ve made it their playground – they make the rules, they run the show, and they choose to feel happy and positive about life. These types of friends are wonderful to have around, especially if you’ve been going through a rough time.

4. Crazy friends have a great sense of humor

Like we said before, you’ll never stop laughing when you hang out with that crazy friend. Everything just seems funnier with them because they put their own unique spin on everything that happens and just have a lighthearted approach to life that all of us could learn from. True friends will always help you to stay in a good mood, and will truly care about making sure you feel good in their company. To read more about signs you have a true friend, consult our related article here. 

5. They hardly ever let themselves get into bad moods

A crazy friend doesn’t know how to stay down in the dumps too long; it kills their vibe and doesn’t resonate with their soul. So, it won’t last long if they seem in a bad mood. They tend to have a positive outlook on life and don’t allow petty things to affect them.

6. Crazy friends don’t take themselves too seriously

Another plus to having a crazy friend is that they don’t set ridiculous standards for themselves, and if they mess up, they don’t beat themselves up. They stroll through life casually, learning, growing, and loving along the way, but not getting hung up on trivial things that won’t matter in the long run. They don’t get embarrassed or ashamed easily because they have high self-esteem and truly value themselves. If they make a mistake, they simply laugh it off and keep going.

7. They show you how to let loose

A crazy friend won’t let you spend a Friday or Saturday night cooped up in your room catching up on Netflix. They’ll take you out on the town, possibly get you into a little trouble, and maybe leave you with a few regrets, but they’ll make sure you don’t forget about the time you spend with them. Since they don’t take life seriously, they enjoy showing the world their wild side as often as possible – and they want you to come along for the ride!

8. Crazy friends don’t care what others think

Most importantly, they pay no mind to the opinions of others. They feel comfortable and happy with themselves; if other people want to talk about them, so be it. They’ll continue to dance like no one’s watching and march to the beat of their own drum.

9. Crazy friends make life more fun

Simply put, life doesn’t seem as enjoyable without having that one crazy friend to put things into perspective. On the days when you feel that stress will eat you alive, they come to the rescue and take you out to do something fun. When you hang out with them, they just have so much laughter and good vibes to share that you can’t help but fall in love with them just a little bit.

Skip to content