5 Things That Happen When You Feel Lonely

March 7, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Everyone feels lonely from time to time, but that doesn’t mean it gets any easier to deal with.

Scientists have even called loneliness an epidemic due to the severity of the situation in today’s fast-paced modern world. You can feel alone by yourself or even when surrounded by others. But either way, the pain runs deep through your veins. You feel like no one will ever understand you, and you’re just floating through the universe in this time and dimension as a sort of hollow shell. You look in the mirror and wonder if something is wrong with you, if anyone else possibly could feel the same way as you.

When you feel lonely, you just want to connect with someone, anyone, but having a real conversation doesn’t come easily these days. We know how you feel, so if you can relate to what we’ve said so far, read on for some valuable tips to combat loneliness.

Here are 5 things that happen when you feel lonely:

1. You feel millions of galaxies away, even in a crowded room.

You know the feeling..you walk into that party or social gathering hoping to form some sort of connection, but instead, you just feel distant and detached. Everything feels so loud, so hectic, so wrong. You long for a deep bond with someone that night, but it just doesn’t happen. You wish you could teleport to somewhere a bit less noisy and a bit more you. Nothing seems right about being there, but you stay anyway so you don’t seem like the outcast or the one who can’t socialize. You make small talk, but you feel so disinterested in the conversation. We all know the worst feeling in the world is being along in a crowded room, but how can we combat this heart-wrenching feeling?

How to transform lonely to alone: In this situation, seek out those who seem a bit quieter and disengaged from others. Find those who also look lonely, and gravitate toward them. The quietest people usually have the most to say, so if you crave a meaningful connection with someone, pick someone’s brain who looks a little out of place and uncomfortable. They will probably have a lot to say once you get to talking.

2. You zone out, not talking to those around you in conversation.

You went out with the intention to socialize and enjoy conversation with people, but you just don’t click with anyone. They make small talk about people and events, but you’d rather talk about ideas. About deep things. So, you space out a bit, wishing you could just meet people that you actually connected with.

How to transform lonely to alone: Remember that you won’t connect with everyone in the world. It’s okay to feel a bit lonely sometimes, but you can actually feel alone without it deepening into loneliness. Keep in mind that the connection you have with yourself is the most important in the world, and as long as you have that, you won’t ever have to feel lonely again.

3. You hear the people talking, but you can’t connect with them.

Everything just seems too loud and chaotic. The noise infiltrates your thoughts, making it hard to stay in the present and concentrate in the moment. You don’t know how to approach people in this setting, because it seems that everyone just wants attention or is trying to dominate the conversation. You just feel in a daze, floating around from group to group but not really finding a home in any of them.

How to transform lonely to alone: Like we said in the first point, try to find a group that seems a bit quieter. Go for the people that don’t just want to act loud and crazy, because chances are, you won’t make much of a connection there. However, if that’s more of your personality, go for it. But if you enjoy quiet introverts more, seek those people out in social settings.

4. You long for a real conversation, but don’t know how to start it.

You want an intelligent, thoughtful conversation, but have no idea where to begin. How do you just jump into deep topics with someone you just met? Or even someone you’ve known for a while? Maybe the other person wants a meaningful conversation too, but like you, doesn’t know how to start it off. Everyone wants connections, but fears them at the same time, it seems.

How to transform lonely to alone: Start out with easily relatable topics. You don’t have to dive right in and discuss the meaning of life with someone you just met; you can ease into it slowly by bringing up other topics, such as your favorite documentaries or top places to travel. Real conversations can exist, but don’t scare people away by diving too deep too quickly.

5. No matter where you are, you long to be elsewhere, where people understand you.

You stand there surrounded by dozens of people, but still feel so alone. You just want someone to understand and relate to you, but it seems so difficult to find. Where can you find people who just get you, and better yet, accept you?

How to transform lonely to alone: If you can’t connect with anyone where you are, you can either leave the situation, or maybe go within and see if you have any blockages that prevent you from connecting with people. You have to understand, everyone wants to connect with someone, but you have to remove any obstacles in your way first that might keep you from forming a true bond with another person.

If you’d like more tips on how to overcome loneliness, read our related article here.

7 Important Life Skills You Weren’t Taught In School

March 7, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Our school days are often those that we look back on with happy nostalgia, but there are probably some very important life skills that you weren’t taught there. In fact, some of the best lessons we learn come from making mistakes and trying again.

Making learning relevant to students is the subject of a study that seeks to incorporate out-of-school learning into science education in the classroom. Using real life examples helps students see that life outside of school is a good place to continue learning. This is especially important since most of us will spend much time learning outside school.

We are lifelong learners and absorb new skills as we go about our daily lives. Each day, when you think of it, you are picking up some new piece of information that you didn’t have before. In your later out-of-school days, let’s celebrate these seven important life skills you’ve learned since you left school.

7 Important Life Skills You Weren’t Taught In School

1. You weren’t taught to live in the moment in school

Your school days were planned. You had a starting bell, timed classes, timed tests, recess, lunch, and the end of your day were all scheduled. One of the hardest lessons of all is learning not to focus on what is coming up or what is already past but what is happening right now.

Slowing down your mental focus to allow for the wave of the present moment to wash over you is hard to re-learn once we leave school. Before we start school, we are free to run when we want to run, sleep when we want to sleep, and drink and eat when we want (as long as someone is there to provide it for us). Time constraints were taught, and then you worked to unlearn them again.

2. You weren’t taught how to say no and make life choices in school

So much of your school life in your youth is spent obeying your authority figure teacher. You rarely get a choice in anything in school. They tell you where to sit, what to read, when to eat and when to go home. You don’t get to say no to any of that unless you want to be disciplined for it.

As an adult, you learned to reclaim your voice and say no to what you didn’t want. Some of us are still learning that we have this power and how to use it. Being a yes-man or woman is always more socially accommodating to the person who asked. But learning to reclaim your “No Power” is a skill you learned outside of school that serves you well.

3. You weren’t taught to follow your heart in school

Your heart knows what it wants, but delayed gratification is taught in school. You can’t have ___ until you ____. When you deny your desires, they are still there, but now you have buried them under the weight of responsibilities, time, and money constraints. Listening to your heart when it says, “spend the day in the park” instead of going to the office is not a skill you picked up in school.

4. You weren’t taught how to appreciate the emotions you will experience in life in school

Your emotions enhance your world experience by giving you important feedback about how you feel toward people, actions and words. In school it is more likely than you were taught to stop crying and suppress your anger or frustration rather than lashing out.

Of course, as an adult, you learned that suppressing emotions only led to other problems later on. Using your emotions as a cue to make decisions based on what we feel strongly about is a skill you learned as an adult.

5. You weren’t taught how to rely on yourself in school

You had an abundance of people who could help you in school, but the skill they forgot to teach you was how to handle things on your own when your parents or teachers weren’t around to help. Caring for yourself when you are sick, providing your own entertainment, making and managing your money,

6. You weren’t taught how to dissent in school

The knowledge taught to you in school left little room for dissenting opinions. There might have been an opportunity to argue in debate or later on in your college years. But in school, you were most likely not taught how to think independently or argue your case for the opposite viewpoint. The art of respectful dissent is something you learned outside of school.

Researchers are now looking at how teachers use assertive discipline in classrooms to control student behavior. The assertive discipline approach is based on teachers’ needs for control, but it does not advocate for student needs. They now believe that there are potential negative consequences of assertive discipline, particularly for education in a democratic society.

7. You weren’t taught how to have and keep romantic love in school

Your love life is certainly an area where most people have to learn by making mistakes, and you definitely didn’t learn anything about love in school. You may have had a boyfriend or girlfriend as a child or young adult, but learning to keep a romantic partner happy by focusing on meeting their needs, communicating, compromising and keeping the passion alive is something you had to learn on your own. Or maybe you read our guide: 10 Tips to Help You Find Your Soulmate.

45 Life Lessons From A 90 year old

March 7, 2016 by Power of Positivity

These life lessons are widely known from the highly popular column by Regina Brett. “45 lessons, written by a 90-year-old” was originally featured in The Plain Dealer Newspaper in Cleveland, Ohio.

Since then, it has gone on to spread the story that Regina is now 90 years old. She is really only in her ’50s, but nonetheless, this Pulitzer Prize finalist has a wealth of knowledge and life lessons that you would think she truly was in her 90’s.

Anyone can pick up helpful life lessons from this list. Enjoy and let us know which one is your favorite in the comments.

45 Life Lessons From A 90-Year-Old

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short not to enjoy it.

4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will.

5. Don’t buy stuff you don’t need.

6. You don’t have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.

7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.

8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for things that matter.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.

12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye… But don’t worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful. Clutter weighs you down in many ways.

18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It’s never too late to be happy. But it’s all up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Overprepare, then go with the flow.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words, ‘In five years, will this matter?’

27. Always choose Life.

28. Forgive but don’t forget.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give Time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.

35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have, not what you think you need.

42. The best is yet to come…

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.

Source: reginabrett.com

Final Thoughts: Learn From These Wise Words

In the comments below, let us know which of life lessons resonated the MOST with you?
# 21 & 39 was our favorite! Miracles are everywhere, just look!

5 Questions To Ask Yourself Before A Relationship

March 6, 2016 by Power of Positivity

There is a famous Greek mythological story about the perception of love in a relationship. The myth of Pygmalion and Galatea has been brought down through centuries as a love story. Pygmalion was a gifted Greek artist who created beautiful sculptures. Pygmalion was disappointed with the women he met, especially the prostitutes. He was so disgusted by their reactions and behaviors that he decided to create the perfect woman, thus the sculpture of Galatea made out of ivory stone.

Pygmalion spent countless hours making her into his ideal woman, chiseling carefully the curves and creating a beautiful body while speaking to it. He would dress her up. He would tell stories. Then one day, Pygmalion went to Aphrodite’s temple and begged for the love of this woman. Aphrodite took pity on the artist and made the statue come to life, and shortly thereafter, Galatea and Pygmalion married.

This story has several metaphoric clues to relationships. There might be signs that we are trying to manipulate our desires into creating the perfect love carved in stone.

Here are 5 questions to ask yourself before you begin a relationship:

1. Are we trying to create flawless love in our partners?

Relationships are not perfect. Oftentimes, our counterparts mirror our imperfections. It’s in those enhancing moments that we try desperately to chip away the characteristics that we don’t want. In all the negative light, we become lunatics trying to create something that we cannot change. We are human beings. Sometimes we enter into relationships blindly with an irrational belief that “this is the perfect person.” Later on, the blinders come off and what was once lust is no longer part of the love equation.

2. Are we holding on to a myth?

Society has implanted an idea of “perfect fairytale love.” From the time we are children we watch and listen to romantic fairy tales. It’s difficult to see what’s an illusion and what’s actually real. Love is NOT carved in ivory stone. It’s not perfect. It requires work. It expects nothing more (or less) than patience and acceptance. You create that which you are. In order to attract the desired partner, you have to consider your own imperfections. You have to be willing to look at the dark and the light in yourself.

3. What happened to love at first sight?

We are creatures of determining beauty by first glance. Hormones flare and exude our animal instincts. But, does this hold on forever? Beauty is not just in the eyes of the beholder. Beauty resides deeply in the heart. Just like Pygmalion, many of us spend countless hours searching for the ideal mate that we have created since childhood. We have formed a “type,” and when that type enters the room, we are left drooling for attention. How often do we actually get the type that is in our heads? Age takes care of making sure we return to reality. Outside beauty doesn’t last forever.

4. Can we survive relationships through what is called the Galatea and Pygmalion effects?

The Galatea effect is a psychological theory that states that people can overcome anything by raising their self-worth. The Pygmalion effect is a phenomenon relating to motivation: people can conquer anything when they are supported and encouraged. In relationships can we be Galatea and Pygmalion?

One person has to be the motivator and the other the doer. There has to be a balance of giving and taking. Unfortunately in our society, we forget the partnership theory in relationships. It starts with clear intentions of how we will support, love, and respect our mate. Life wears us down and we no longer motivate the other. Galatea and Pygmalion are perfect examples of belief and ultimate love through perseverance.

5. Is there a way to manifest the perfect mate for me?

We have the power to create anything we want in life, including a partner who brings out the best in us. But, while you continue having a false idea of what is perfect, you might not see what’s right next to you. Relationships work on trust, forgiveness, love, acceptance, and awareness. It’s important to understand that if you aren’t being treated to your highest worth and potential, then it’s time to move on. When people tell you who they are, believe them from the beginning. You cannot change anyone. You are only responsible for you.

Pygmalion created what he needed. He chiseled and prayed and spoke to the Gods. He didn’t settle for the other women. You have the capacity to bring the love of your life into your life…but first you must be honest with what you want. Love is not written in stone, but it is written in the heart. Follow your heart, but take your mind with it too.

“Love is not something that happens just once and lasts uniformly throughout your lifetime. No, that kinda love can only exist in fictional stories. But if you fall in and out of love with the same person, for countless number of times, each time rediscovering those feelings that you thought you had long lost in past and somehow it still feels as fresh as the morning dew… That’s the real deal, that’s how it happens in real life.” – Seekerohan

This Is What Happens To Your Brain When You Eat Junk Food

March 6, 2016 by Power of Positivity

“Nobody had ever told me junk food was bad for me. Four years of medical school, and four years of internship and residency, and I never thought anything was wrong with eating sweet rolls and doughnuts, and potatoes, and bread, and sweets.” – Robert Atkins

Science has since reaffirmed most of Dr. Atkins’ apprehensions about junk food, yet there remains an unexplainable absence of scientific study in one very important area: how junk food affects the human brain.

As Dr. Fernando Gmez-Pinilla, professor of neurosurgery and physiological science at UCLA puts it: “Food is like a pharmaceutical compound that affects the brain.” Gmez-Pinilla would know – she’s spent numerous years studying the cause and effect relationship of food and the brain.

Since conducting her research, Gmez-Pinilla has significantly altered her own diet – a testimony to the wide-ranging effects of food, particularly sugar, on the human brain. Specifically, Gmez-Pinilla eats much less fast food and junk food since her studies. And yes, most fast food is considered junk food because of the high calories and low nutritional value that the vast majority of fast food contains.

Here’s what happens to your brain when you eat junk food:

The brain’s synapses – chemicals responsible for transferring information from one cell to another – are negatively impacted by junk food. As a result, the brain’s ability to learn and memorize are diminished.

In addition to reducing the brain’s learning and memory functions, junk food negatively alters cognitive and body function in other ways.

First, junk food creates the tendency to eat too much food, too quickly. All junk food lacks nutritional value and essential nutrients, including fiber. As such, the innate sense of satiety (feeling “full”) dullens when eating junk food. This results in eating more and more to obtain any feeling of fullness – all while ingesting “food” saturated with sugar and refined carbohydrates and of no nutritional value.

Second, junk food can negatively affect our mood. In one study, researchers discovered that people who ate fast food are 51 percent more likely to have depression. Dr. David Katz, director of Yale University’s Prevention Research Center, says: “Higher intake of fast food may very well increase risks of depression by causing poor health in general.”

Third, the human brain can get addicted to sugar. The chemical makeup of sugar activates brain receptors that correlate with addictive behavior. Physiologically, brain scans have revealed that neural activity when eating sugar is similar to that of an alcoholic or drug addict. Dopamine (the brain’s “reward” chemical) levels also ebb and flow in a way that mimics addictive tendencies. These discoveries have led to many calling for sugar to be labeled as a “toxic substance;” one to be regulated in a way similar to alcohol and tobacco.

Next, sugar can initiate episodes of “brain fog,” a general term used to describe periods of mental confusion and lack of clarity. Researchers at the University of California, Los Angeles hypothesize that sugar causes the formation of free radicals in membranes and inhibits the nerve cells’ ability to communicate properly. The study’s author explains that these physiological alterations can lead to a diminished ability to “remember instructions, process ideas, and handle our moods.”

Perhaps most troublesome is newfound evidence that suggests sugar can actually cause our brain to shrink. Researchers at Deakin University and the Australian National University discovered that Australians with unhealthy diets – including excessive intake of sugar (see results of the study) – can decrease the size of the hippocampi. The hippocampus area of the brain is believed to be vital to learning, memory and mental health. Further, researchers discovered older adults that have maintained a healthy diet have larger hippocampi.

The results of the study:

– Older adults who ate more unhealthy foods, such as sweet drinks, salty snacks and processed meats, have smaller left hippocampi.

– Older adults who ate more nutrient-rich foods, such as vegetables, fruits and fish, have larger left hippocampi.

– Findings of the study are deemed to be relevant to both dementia and mental health research.

Professor Felice Jacka, the lead author of the study, summarized the findings: “…it points to the importance of diet for brain health in (all) age groups. As the hippocampus is critical to learning and memory throughout life, as well as being a key part of the brain involved in mental health, this study underscores the importance of good nutrition for children, adolescents and adults of all ages.”

In conclusion, various scientific studies have determined that sugar and junk food: shrinks the brain, limits learning and memory, impairs cognition, is addictive, negatively impacts mood, and promotes overindulgence. Of course, the complete elimination of sugar from our diet is unnecessary (although ideal, health-wise). Instead, we should aim to strictly limit the amount of sugar in our diet. Those of us with children would be wise to monitor their sugar habit, as well.

This Ancient Medicinal Tea Can Cure High Cholesterol and Diabetes

March 6, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Many fruits contain a variety of essential nutrients for the body, but few have as many vitamins and minerals as the mighty guava fruit. This fruit recently became dubbed “the ultimate superfood” because of both its medicinal and nutritional benefits. Guavas grow in Mexico, Central, and South America, and have a tangy, sweet, tropical flavor. They contain many antioxidants, and in ancient cultures, they would actually use the leaves from the guava fruit to make healing, medicinal tea to cure a variety of ailments.

To give you a little history on the medicinal use of the guava, it may have originated in Peru several thousand years ago; Peruvian archaeological sites have unveiled guava seeds found stored with beans, corn, squash, and other cultivated plants. The Tikuna Indians use the leaves and bark of the guava as a cure for dysentery, and in fact, many tribes throughout the Amazon use it for this purpose, as well as for sore throats, nausea, vomiting, vertigo, and to ease menstrual cramps. The Dutch Pharmacopoeia lists guava leaves for the treatment of diarrhea, and Latin America, Central and West Africa, and Southeast Asia also employs the leaves for use in treating diarrhea. In Peruvian herbal medicine today, they use the guava plant for conditions such as diarrhea, gastroenteritis, intestinal worms, gastric disorders, vomiting, coughs, menstrual pain and hemorrhages, and edema.

The guava fruit contains important vitamins and minerals as well, making it incredibly beneficial to include in your diet. If you haven’t ever tried guava tea, we’ll give you a few reasons to start brewing it below.

Here’s how this ancient medicinal tea can cure diabetes and high cholesterol:

Drinking guava leaf tea may cause cholesterol and triglyceride levels to decrease. Study participants who drank guava leaf tea had lower total cholesterol, low-density lipoprotein levels and triglycerides after eight weeks of consuming the tea whether or not they underwent medical treatments for high cholesterol, according to an article published in “Nutrition & Metabolism” in February 2010.

In addition to treatment for high cholesterol, guava leaf tea is used in Japan as one of the Foods for Specified Health Uses to aid in preventing and treating diabetes. Compounds in the tea stop the absorption of two types of sugars, maltose and sucrose, which therefore keeps blood sugar levels under control following meals. The article published in the aforementioned journal “Nutrition & Metabolism” summarized two studies that demonstrated this effect. The first study described short-term results, as participants who drank guava leaf tea after consuming white rice showed greater decreases in blood sugar after 30 minutes, 90 minutes and 120 minutes than compared with a study where participants drank hot water instead. In the second, longer-term study, participants with either prediabetes or mild Type 2 diabetes who drank guava leaf tea with every meal over a period of 12 weeks had lower fasting blood-sugar levels than they did before consuming the tea.

While we initially only mentioned the benefits of guava tea regarding cholesterol levels and diabetes symptoms, drinking guava leaf tea can help loosen the bowels to treat diarrhea. In a 2008 study published in the Journal of Smooth Muscle Research, researchers tested the anti-diarrheal properties of guava leaves on rats. They found the extract delayed the onset of castor oil-induced diarrhea, as well as lowered the frequency and severity of the diarrhea. This evidence shows that guava leaf tea can effectively treat a variety of conditions and ailments.

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Guava leaf tea contains so many antioxidants that it can also treat patients with gastric (stomach) cancer. Its anticancer and antitumor properties come from compounds, like lycopene, quercetin, and vitamin C, which work to eradicate free radicals in the body. A 2011 study published in the journal Food Chemistry found that when people consume the tea leaf extract, it leads to apoptosis, or gastric cancer cells attacking themselves.

If you don’t have any tea on hand, however, guava essential oils can also inhibit cancer growth in the body. A 2006 study published in the journal Cancer Letters showed that guava essential oils could halt cancer activity in patients with stomach cancer, due in part to its rich concentration of nerolidiol, caryophyllene, beta bisabolene, p-selinene, aromandreno, tannins, beta sitosterol, leucocyanidins, and triterpenoids.

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5 Things That Happen When You Feel Lonely

Here are 5 things that happen when you feel lonely:

1. You feel millions of galaxies away, even in a crowded room.

2. You zone out, not talking to those around you in conversation.

3. You hear the people talking, but you can’t connect with them.

4. You long for a real conversation, but don’t know how to start it.

5. No matter where you are, you long to be elsewhere, where people understand you.

7 Important Life Skills You Weren’t Taught In School

1. You weren’t taught to live in the moment in school

2. You weren’t taught how to say no and make life choices in school

3. You weren’t taught to follow your heart in school

4. You weren’t taught how to appreciate the emotions you will experience in life in school

5. You weren’t taught how to rely on yourself in school

6. You weren’t taught how to dissent in school

7. You weren’t taught how to have and keep romantic love in school

45 Life Lessons From A 90-Year-Old

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.

22. Overprepare, then go with the flow.

36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.

Final Thoughts: Learn From These Wise Words

Here are 5 questions to ask yourself before you begin a relationship:

1. Are we trying to create flawless love in our partners?

2. Are we holding on to a myth?

3. What happened to love at first sight?

4. Can we survive relationships through what is called the Galatea and Pygmalion effects?

5. Is there a way to manifest the perfect mate for me?

Here’s what happens to your brain when you eat junk food:

Here’s how this ancient medicinal tea can cure diabetes and high cholesterol:

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