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7 Ways to Move Forward When You Feel Emotionally Paralyzed

Have you ever felt like you couldn’t keep going due to being drained emotionally? It happens to the best of us, and often when we least expect it. Being emotionally paralyzed means that we’ve been through so much turmoil that our minds and spirits have a hard time processing it all, so we begin to shut down mentally. When we go through trauma, taking time for ourselves is perfectly understandable and normal. However, when we start to fall into a habitual state of emotional fear and stress, this is where it can become a problem. Here are some ways to move on when you feel you can’t any longer.

7 Ways To Move Forward When You Feel Emotionally Paralyzed

1. Breathe

Deep and purposeful breathing is our best tool against anxiety, frustration and overall negative feelings. When you start to feel tension in your neck or butterflies in your stomach, take a minute and breathe deeply.

Close your eyes and focus on your breath. Breathe in deeply through your nose and visualize your entire body filling up with your breath. Then slowly exhale through your mouth and watch the breath leave.

Do this five times and feel the incredibly relaxing effects it has on your body and mind.

2. Declutter

Clutter can rob you of the vital energy you need to live your best life. Spending just a few minutes decluttering the spaces you live and work in can have a huge impact on enhancing your life.

Make a conscious choice to declutter. This will free you up to appreciate what you have and focus your attention on the things that matter most. Start small with a shelf or a drawer. You will be surprised how far you can get with just ten minutes of decluttering.

3. Do what scares you

Ride a motorcycle, go zip-lining, parachute, climb a mountain, go surfing, or go skiing. Overcoming your fears is one way to live life on the edge. Get in front of an audience in Open-Mic night at any local cafe or bar. Join a meet-up group and explore an area near where you live. Take a cruise alone. Go to a homeless shelter and help for a day. Take flowers to a stranger in a hospital. Leave a sweet note on a neighbor’s door. To get over fears, you must tackle them head on…you cannot go around them.

4. Give up the “all or nothing” mentality

Even the most positive, self-confident people in the world have spells of insecurity and negative thinking sometimes, but it can become debilitating if you actually believe these thoughts. For example, let’s say you want to get a higher paying job. You might tell yourself “If I don’t land this job, then I will never find anything else and that means I just don’t deserve anything better.” See how damaging this type of thinking can be? By telling ourselves we won’t find happiness and fulfillment unless a certain event occurs, then we have vested all our faith and energy in an outcome. This means that if something different happens, our rigid way of thinking will prevent us from seeing the bigger picture, and realizing the universe simply had different plans for us.

Rather than thinking in absolute terms and conjuring up the worst case scenario in your mind, start thinking more realistically. Self-defeating thoughts can really prevent you from living up to your full potential, and trick you into thinking you can never change your life due to one event or situation.

5. Stop comparing yourself to others.

Comparison does nothing for you, except make you doubt yourself and feel inferior to others. It can make you feel worthless if you expect your life to look exactly like someone else’s, and will most certainly only pave the road to disappointment. Or, you could use it in the opposite way, in order to feel better about yourself and where you’re at in life. It helps to remember that everyone here is on their own journey, and no one is inherently better than anyone else. We all have our own roads to take, our own destinies to fulfill. Your path will look differently than your neighbor’s, your sister’s, and your friend’s, and this doesn’t mean you have chosen the wrong route.

It means you have certain lessons you need to learn here that might differ from others, so stop comparing your journey to everyone else’s. Focus on how you can become a better person, and everything will start to fall into place.

6. Replace the “I Can’ts” with “I Can’s”

Another form of degrading thoughts, the “I can’t” mentality can stop you in your tracks before you’ve even taken a step forward. If you don’t think you’re good enough or deserving of something, then of course, it won’t show up in your life because you’ve created a blockage. You have put up walls to keep out potentially amazing things from manifesting in your reality, and told yourself you can’t achieve what you want before you even try. The universe works with the Law of Attraction, so whatever you think will show up in your life, regardless of if you want it or not.

If you don’t like what you see in your life, the primary culprit here is your mind. Change your thoughts, change your life!

7. Spend 10 minutes a day in gratitude.

Focusing on the things that we are grateful for every day brings the good in our life into focus. What better way to move on in life than to realize you already have everything you need to begin with?

10 Stories That Will Make You Believe In True Love

Love has no expiration date. There is hope and faith in knowing that someone out there is waiting on your heart to unite. Lovers come into this life on a treasure hunt. They move through years as scavengers waiting to find “that one” individual that will connect with them. If you have lost hope in love, please read these love stories that will restore your faith in true love.

Here are ten stories that will make you believe in true love:

love

1. The sweet couple who died holding hands.

Both in their 90’s, Norma and Gordon Yeager died holding hands in the intensive care unit at a hospital after a car crash. Having been married for 72 years, they left this world together. Gordon passed on first and then shortly, an hour later, his wife followed him while their hands remained locked together.

2. A couple is torn apart by war.

Anna Koslov kissed her husband, Boris, goodbye as he left for Russia’s Red Army. They were only married for three days. Boris returned home from his military commitments to find a vacant house. Anna was gone. Under the regime of Joseph Stalin, she and her family went into exile in Siberia. There was no contact between the husband and wife after that.

But, Boris spent years searching for this beloved. Over many years Anna and Boris remarried and had their families. Boris became a writer and dedicated his first book to Anna. In 2007, after becoming a widow, Anna went back to her home time to visit the house that Boris and her had spent their only three nights as a married couple. By a serendipitous course of events, on the same weekend that Anna was back home, Boris was was visiting his parent’s gravestone. After more than sixty years, they were reunited with their eternal love finally as husband and wife.

3. Apart for only one day.

Helen and Les Brown were married for 75 years. He was a photographer and she sold real estate in Long Beach, CA. They met in high school and got married at 18. They were always together until their last day on earth. Helen died July 16, and Les died July 17. They had a joint memorial a few days later.

4. Two strangers model for a hotel brochure and end up falling in love.

Two attractive young employees of De Vere Dunston Hall, a hotel in England, were hired for the hotel’s brochure. The hotel asked models Amanda Semmence and Kieron Dudle to pose as bride and groom for their advertisement. Soon after, Amanda and Kieron began a beautiful relationship. Three years later, they got married at the place where they had become the pretend bride and groom.

5. High school reunion.

Cathy Kennedy and Denis Keeran went to a private high school in Central Florida. He was the geek, and she was the cheerleader. He had his eye on her way back then. She never noticed him. They graduated and life took them on separate journeys. Both got married, had children and grandchildren. Both lost their spouses after 38 years of marriage. And, then through a deep emotional moment (after the loss of his wife to cancer) Denis decided to attend their 40th high school reunion, hoping to see “that beautiful girl” that made his heart skip a beat way back then. He finally got the belle of the ball. They are having the time of their lives.

6. Retired postmaster creates a replica of Taj Mahal.

Faizal Husun, 71 years old,creates a replica of the Taj Mahal in memory of his late wife,Tajammuli. They were together for more than 58 years. When she passed away 3 years ago he begin recreating the famous monument as a devotion of his wife, utilizing all of his savings, and only hiring workers whenever he has extra income. The mini structure is still under construction.

7. Cycling from India to Sweden for love.

In 1971, Pradyumana Kumar was a renowned artist in India. He made a portrait of Charlotte Von Sledvin who was visiting from Sweden. They immediately fell in love. According to rituals in India they got married, and shortly thereafter, Charlotte had to leave back to Sweden. Pradyuman did not go with her because he had not money and refused for her to pay for his ticket. He did promise to join her one day. Pradyuman cycled to Sweden, taking him five months to reunite with his wife. They have been married for over 40 years and have two children.

8. In spite of being disowned by his family man reunites with the love of his life.

For over 34 years, Ashok Jain remained in love with his Hindu Bengali girlfriend. His orthodox family could never accept the religious differences. He was scrutinized and disowned. He left his family and went on to start a new life with his love. Once he found a job, he began his own family five years later.

9. The incredible gay couple who fled India for the freedom of love.

Amit Gokhale and Sameer Samudra left India and settled in the United States to give their love a fighting chance. Their family members, as most of India, do not accept homosexuality. They are supportive of each other and what their love means to them regardless of how their country sees their relationship. Now in the USA they can make their relationship legal.

10. Love is sweeter the second time around.

After 48 years of being apart, an English couple finds love again. Ollie Ingram and Wills Holmes fell in love in 1955, but their union ended after 10 years. Ollie explains that their first marriage failed because they tied the knot too early. After decades apart and other marriages, the couple ran into each other at a party and rediscovered their love for one another. Both widowed, at 76 and 79 years old, decided to remarry. Wills says, “I never thought I would be lucky enough to marry the woman of my dreams twice in one lifetime. Ollie looked as beautiful as the first time, and we know it will last this time.”

The heart expands with each connection. It vibrates, learns, and teaches the brain exactly what survival needs. We do not live solely for ourselves. We are here to unite, attach, and bridge the way from one heart to another. It doesn’t matter if it takes 20, 40, or 60 years. In matters of the heart, there is no timeline. At age three, you can meet your soul partner and move through different experiences and journeys. Love is eternal.

Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone – we find it with another.”~ Thomas Merton

9 Reasons Why You Need At Least One Crazy Friend In Your Life

You might already know about the numerous health benefits of having great friends in your life, but what about having a crazy friend to boot? Friends laugh with us during the good times, cry during the bad, and just help us through life. They understand where we’ve been and support our direction, but crazy friends add a little bit more to the mix. They take away the seriousness of life and give us laughter and good memories.

Here are nine reasons why you need at least one crazy friend in your life:

crazy friend

1. They turn that frown upside down

Crazy friends will make you laugh at the drop of a hat. They have a lighthearted, carefree approach to life and enjoy making people feel good and forget their problems. A crazy friend won’t let you stay in a bad mood for too long because their contagious humor will quickly lighten your load and make you forget about your problems, at least for a little while.

2. They challenge us to try new things

A crazy friend won’t let you stay in the confines of familiarity – they’ll push you to step outside your comfort zone and show you what you’re truly made of. Always wanted to go skydiving but too afraid to go through with it? No worries, that crazy friend of yours will accompany you to help you knock one of your bucket list items out.

3. They have a positive outlook on life

Crazy people normally have a great outlook on life; their upbeat personalities and great sense of humor prove that. These people have been through a lot in life, just like all of us, but they’ve chosen to use those experiences to better themselves and to teach them that life is truly what we make of it. So, they’ve made it their playground – they make the rules, they run the show, and they choose to feel happy and positive about life. These types of friends are wonderful to have around, especially if you’ve been going through a rough time.

4. Crazy friends have a great sense of humor

Like we said before, you’ll never stop laughing when you hang out with that crazy friend. Everything just seems funnier with them because they put their own unique spin on everything that happens and just have a lighthearted approach to life that all of us could learn from. True friends will always help you to stay in a good mood, and will truly care about making sure you feel good in their company. To read more about signs you have a true friend, consult our related article here. 

5. They hardly ever let themselves get into bad moods

A crazy friend doesn’t know how to stay down in the dumps too long; it kills their vibe and doesn’t resonate with their soul. So, it won’t last long if they seem in a bad mood. They tend to have a positive outlook on life and don’t allow petty things to affect them.

6. Crazy friends don’t take themselves too seriously

Another plus to having a crazy friend is that they don’t set ridiculous standards for themselves, and if they mess up, they don’t beat themselves up. They stroll through life casually, learning, growing, and loving along the way, but not getting hung up on trivial things that won’t matter in the long run. They don’t get embarrassed or ashamed easily because they have high self-esteem and truly value themselves. If they make a mistake, they simply laugh it off and keep going.

7. They show you how to let loose

A crazy friend won’t let you spend a Friday or Saturday night cooped up in your room catching up on Netflix. They’ll take you out on the town, possibly get you into a little trouble, and maybe leave you with a few regrets, but they’ll make sure you don’t forget about the time you spend with them. Since they don’t take life seriously, they enjoy showing the world their wild side as often as possible – and they want you to come along for the ride!

8. Crazy friends don’t care what others think

Most importantly, they pay no mind to the opinions of others. They feel comfortable and happy with themselves; if other people want to talk about them, so be it. They’ll continue to dance like no one’s watching and march to the beat of their own drum.

9. Crazy friends make life more fun

Simply put, life doesn’t seem as enjoyable without having that one crazy friend to put things into perspective. On the days when you feel that stress will eat you alive, they come to the rescue and take you out to do something fun. When you hang out with them, they just have so much laughter and good vibes to share that you can’t help but fall in love with them just a little bit.

11 Life Lessons To Learn From Mister Rogers

You probably recognize him from the well-known children’s TV show, Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood, where he spread positive vibes, love, and kindness to his audience. He spent his whole life showing us that we should love everyone despite their supposed shortcomings, and offer compassion and understanding whenever we can. His warm, gentle personality and important life lessons touched the lives of many, and he showed us what being neighborly really meant.

Here are 11 life lessons we can learn from Mister Rogers:

1. We have an obligation to help one another on this planet.

“We live in a world in which we need to share responsibility. It’s easy to say, ‘It’s not my child, not my community, not my world, not my problem.’ Then there are those who see the need and respond. I consider those people my heroes.”

“I hope you’re proud of yourself for the times you’ve said ‘yes,’ when all it meant was extra work for you and was seemingly helpful only to somebody else.”

“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’ To this day, especially in times of ‘disaster,’ I remember my mother’s words, and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers–so many caring people in this world.”

2. Accept your feelings, but learn to deal with them in a healthy way.

“There’s no ‘should’ or ‘should not’ when it comes to having feelings. They’re part of who we are and their origins are beyond our control. When we can believe that, we may find it easier to make constructive choices about what to do with those feelings.”

“There is no normal life that is free of pain. It’s the very wrestling with our problems that can be the impetus for our growth.”

“Confronting our feelings and giving them appropriate expression always takes strength, not weakness. It takes strength to acknowledge our anger, and sometimes more strength yet to curb the aggressive urges anger may bring and to channel them into nonviolent outlets. It takes strength to face our sadness and to grieve and to let our grief and our anger flow in tears when they need to. It takes strength to talk about our feelings and to reach out for help and comfort when we need it.”

3. Understand that everyone is fighting a tough battle, so be kind to all.

“Part of the problem with the word disabilities is that it immediately suggests an inability to see or hear or walk or do other things that many of us take for granted. But what of people who can’t feel? Or talk about their feelings? Or manage their feelings in constructive ways? What of people who aren’t able to form close and strong relationships? And people who cannot find fulfillment in their lives, or those who have lost hope, who live in disappointment and bitterness and find in life no joy, no love? These, it seems to me, are the real disabilities.”

4. Love always wins.

“Love isn’t a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.”

“Mutual caring relationships require kindness and patience, tolerance, optimism, joy in the other’s achievements, confidence in oneself, and the ability to give without undue thought of gain.”

“We need to help people to discover the true meaning of love. Love is generally confused with dependence. Those of us who have grown in true love know that we can love only in proportion to our capacity for independence.”

“The connections we make in the course of a life–maybe that’s what heaven is.”

5. We’re here to help others feel good about their own existence.

“As human beings, our job in life is to help people realize how rare and valuable each one of us really is, that each of us has something that no one else has–or ever will have–something inside that is unique to all time. It’s our job to encourage each other to discover that uniqueness and to provide ways of developing its expression.”

6. Don’t obsess over being perfect – it doesn’t exist.

“Little by little we human beings are confronted with situations that give us more and more clues that we aren’t perfect.”

7. Take the plunge of self-discovery.

“Discovering the truth about ourselves is a lifetime’s work, but it’s worth the effort.”

8. Cherish the little things in life.

“In the external scheme of things, shining moments are as brief as the twinkling of an eye, yet such twinklings are what eternity is made of — moments when we human beings can say “I love you,” “I’m proud of you,” “I forgive you,” “I’m grateful for you.” That’s what eternity is made of: invisible imperishable good stuff.”

9. Value yourself.

“The world needs a sense of worth, and it will achieve it only by its people feeling that they are worthwhile.”

10. Never give up.

“Often when you think you’re at the end of something, you’re at the beginning of something else.”

11. Keep things into perspective.

“Fame is a four-letter word. And like tape, or zoom, or face, or pain, or life, or love, what ultimately matters is what we do with it.”

Related: Watch this 10 Second Lesson on love, from Mister Rogers

Here’s Why You Should Wash Your Pillows Often

What it is about bedding that causes us to ignore cleaning it? Most of us are pretty good about sheets and blankets, but what about everything else? While our beds and pillows may not get much attention, we spend a lot of time in them. Not paying attention to the cleanliness of our sleeping space is, in a word, gross.

Here’s why you should wash your pillows often:

According to various experts, we should wash our actual pillow every three months, and the pillow covers every three weeks. Why? Pillows are a favorite habitat for some pretty disgusting things, including countless numbers of bacteria and fungi. Dirt, dead skin cells, and skin oil seep into every tiny crevice. Oh, and a relative of spiders, the dust mite, loves to visit our bedding en masse.

The accumulation of dust mites is also a health concern, causing physical reactions that imitate allergies. Statistically, two-thirds of all people with allergies are sensitive to the presence of dust mites – meaning more severe allergic reactions. If this rational discourse isn’t enough, just Google “dust mite” and click on “images”…yeah…an ugly little sucker. Imagine a colony of these just nesting in your bed, blankets, and other bedtime accompaniements.

pillows

Many allergens are airborne – transmitted through the air and inhaled. This is not the case with dust mites; symptoms that accompany the presence of dust mites are usually strongest in the morning. In other words, if “allergic” symptoms are more severe in the morning, the pillow may be the issue. Doctors also recommend that people with year-round nasal allergies get tested for a dust mite allergy.

Further, we should have a cover for every one of our pillows, washing and drying them at least every three weeks. Further, zippered protectors can assist with lessening the buildup of mites, bacteria, and fungus.

Pillows other than those with feathers can be cleaned in the washing machine. Those containing feathers should be dry-cleaned to prevent damage. Again, ensure that the pillow is cleaned at least once every three months. In between cleanings, cycling a pillow for thirty minutes on low in the dryer can help clear out the accumulated dirt, dust, and debris.

Here are some additional pillow tips:

– Replace your pillows every six months if heavily allergic.

– For those with no allergies, a replacement once every year or two will suffice.

– It is more important to clean your pillows than to replace them.

– Mark on a calendar when you clean pillows and covers. Schedule the next cleaning date for both.

– If allergic, get tested for dust mite allergies.

– Between cleanings, cycle them in the dryer on a low setting for thirty minutes. This helps to clear out some of the clutter.

Here’s a quick way to test if your pillows need to be replaced: fold the pillow in half and place a book or shoe on top. If you let it go and the object is flung off, the pillow is still fine for use. If not, it’s probably time to find another pillow.

However, you can launder your still usable pillow as follows:

Washing

– Check the label and confirm the pillow can be machine-washed (most can)

– Remove the pillowcase and any pillow protector

– Fill washing machine 1/3 full with hot water (hint: a substitute for boiling water to get a deeper clean)

– Add these ingredients: 1 cup of laundry detergent, 1 cup of powdered dishwasher detergent, 1 cup bleach, and ½ cup of  Borax. Or, just add regular detergent for a less-intensive clean

– After the detergent dissolves, add the pillow(s) and fill the washer with hot water (hint: 2 pillows are ideal for one cycle)

– Halfway through the cycle, flip the pillow(s) over. This evens out the effects caused by the hot water stream.

– Repeat the rinse cycle.

wash your pillows

Drying

– Use the air cycle for down and feather pillows. You can dry synthetic materials using low-heat setting.

– Place pillow(s) in the dryer (hint: adding tennis balls wrapped in several clean socks can help fluff it as it dries). Set them outside in the sun to dry on a nice, warm day.

Deceptive Behaviors Lying People Display to Reveal Themselves

Trusting your gut when it comes to being able to tell if someone’s lying is something we’ve all heard before. But trusting your nose? That’s something new.

Lie detection is usually done with a lie detector test. But when you learn to look for certain signs that someone is lying, you can become a human polygraph.

Lie detection can be done by those who are experts at facial expression. They say that a whopper is as plain as the nose on your face. If you already read our article, 10 Signs You’re Being Lied To, then you know that lie-spotting is a strategy of lie detection based on non-verbal facial expressions and body language cues.

Catch Lying With Non-verbal Cues

We are familiar with the story of Pinocchio and how his nose would grow every time he told a lie. Having a way to easily detect deception could either help or hurt our social relationships with others. If we knew that someone had deceived us, how do we resolve our trust with that person in the future?

lying

Some researchers asked themselves, what if Pinocchio believed that his lie would never be detected? If we knew we would not be accused of lying, would we still be able to see the signs of lying? In a study of a mock crime, scientists looked at the difference between the brain scans of those who believed that a lie detector could detect their lie and brain scans of those who believed they would get away with the lie.

When participants fibbed and worried about being caught, their brain activity gave them away. Researchers say ‘Producing deception is emotionally taxing and causes anxiety and physiological arousal that require effortful self-regulation.’

In other words, having to remember the details of the fib created stress for the liars, and that stress showed up as increased brain activity in certain areas of the scan.

Lie researchers say the emotional conflict resulting from making a false claim while risking a potential confrontation is what causes brain stress. Plus it elevates cortisol levels for the person who is lying. When people lie, they have to prepare a response for the person who is doing the interrogation. They have to remember important details of their story and if they forget, they will be caught in a whopper.

The Pinocchio Effect: How You Can Tell If Someone’s Lying By Their Nose

Lies are one of the warning signs of sociopathic behavior, as you read in our article 7 Warning Signs You’re in a Relationship With a Sociopath. Once you know that there is a pattern of lying, you may face a decision about whether to trust someone close to you again.

In a study of non-verbal cues that are signs of fibbing, researchers say rubbing, touching, or blowing the nose are all ways to tell if someone’s deceiving you. When it comes to detecting a fib with the nose, scientists say ‘Stress causes an increase of blood to the extremities which causes tingling in the nose; hence, individuals rub their nose when they feel discomfort.’

Other fairly common signs of lying from this study were:

  1. Tripping over words and using ‘um’ or ‘uh’ as filler words
  2. Long pauses before answering
  3. Evading the question
  4. Using ‘well’ at the beginning of a sentence
  5. Use of the words ‘no,’ ‘do not,’ or ‘cannot’
  6. Higher pitch/tone of voice
  7. Keeping eye contact longer than usual
  8. Folding arms
  9. Touching throat (for women this is a sign of lying)
  10. Holding something in front of them, like a piece of paper
  11. Clasping hands together
  12. Positioning feet towards the exit
  13. Hand gestures don’t match what is being said
  14. Not using any hand gestures
  15. Blinking often
  16. Moving the fingers

lying

Why lie detection is right on the nose

These researchers also say ‘Stress causes individuals to feel hot, which forces them to fan themselves to cool down.’

The stress of deceiving someone causes the skin to flush with blood, which is an attempt for the body to lower its temperature. The blood flow can sometimes cause the skin to appear reddish, especially in the nose.

The liar feels the hot flush of blood rushing to the skin and they may attempt to cool themselves by fanning themselves with hands or paper. Another study focuses specifically on nose temperature and found that the nasal temperature rose when study participants were asked to fib about cheating on a test.

The higher nose temperature was detectable during the planning of the deception due to the increased mental activity and also during the telling of the lie. Researchers suggest that the future of deception detection may involve thermogram imaging of faces to detect deception.

Does knowing about lie detection methods make you less likely to fib, or make you a better liar? A good liar could use all of this information to avoid the non-verbal signs of lying. Besides that, they could maintain a calm, cool exterior. But their nose might still be what shows them to be lying, just like Pinocchio.

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