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4 Signs Your Partner May Become Abusive

A potentially abusive partner is a warning sign that you are in an unsafe situation. An emotionally abusive partner can quickly become a physically abusive partner. Domestic violence, physical or sexual abuse can quickly turn into homicide.

If you are even considering that you might be in an abusive relationship, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-SAFE (7233), click the chat now link on their website, or contact your local police department to report the behavior that concerns you. The National Domestic Violence Hotline call is free, anonymous, and confidential, and it could save your life.

Taking action quickly could save your life or the lives of those in the household with you. Protect yourself and your loved ones at all times. IF you were wrong about your partner possibly becoming abusive, at least you took steps to get help before you became a statistic.

4 Warning Signs Your Partner May Become Abusive

abusive

1. Controlling

Dictating when, where, and how you live and who you see is a sign that your partner may become abusive. A relationship should be a partnership, not a dictatorship, and you should have the freedom to make choices independently. When your partner wants to remove your ability to chose for yourself, you should be ready to protect yourself.

Perhaps your partner believes in strict gender roles where women do all the housework and child-rearing while men have a place in the workforce. Then they may also think that you need to submit to their will financially and sexually as well. When your partner believes that they have the power in the relationship, they will seek to take any power away from you to stay in control.

Distrusting you, thinking that you are cheating, or accusing you of doing things you didn’t do are warning signs that your partner may become abusive. Threats of harm are a way of controlling you with fear. You can read more about emotional abuse in our article 20 Warning Signs of an Emotionally Abusive Relationship.

According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline 800-799-SAFE (7233), in 2014:

“More than 20,000 victims disclosed instances of economic abuse, in which the abuser forcibly took control of or manipulated the victim’s finances in order to wield power over him or her.”

2. Belittling

Does your partner treat you like a child or as if you don’t know what’s best for you? That behavior is a warning sign that your partner may become abusive. In arguments, they use insulting, belittling language to make you feel less worthy than you are. Please read about taking back your self-worth in our article 5 Ways to End Abuse in a Relationship.

According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline 800-799-SAFE (7233), 96% of the abuse reported was emotional or verbal, in which the abuser degrades, threatens, insults humiliates, or isolates the victim.

3. Blaming

If your partner is making you feel like it is your fault that they are so angry, depressed, or anxious, it is a warning sign that they may become abusive. When your partner has decided that you are the reason for their emotional outbursts, you become the target of their anger.

Turning an argument around, so it is your fault, is another trait of a person who may become abusive. Suzannah Weiss writes in her article on loveisrespect.org that she learned that the name for what her abusive partner was doing is gaslighting; “gaslighting – my partner’s technique of making me doubt my thoughts, feelings, and perceptions – was an abusive manipulation tactic. For the first time, I saw why his behavior stressed me out. And it wasn’t because I was a bad partner.”

Of the reported domestic violence, 57% of victims were concerned about their relationships for more than six months before ever reaching out for help. The cycle of violence is such that the abuser takes away the power from the victim. The victim feels powerless to do anything, and the abuser can continue removing power from the victim. Stopping the cycle before you feel mentally and emotionally incapable of doing something is essential.

4. History

A history of abuse from their childhood or with previous partners is a warning sign that your partner may become abusive themselves. In childhood and early adulthood, we are still learning how to cope with our painful emotions. Unfortunately, seeing parents who are violent and have a poor ability to cope with negative emotions teaches the same coping behaviors to their children.

According to one study on the prevention of domestic violence, “witnessing domestic violence or being the victim of abuse undermines one’s ability to trust and regulate emotions and results in hostile, dependent, insecure individuals with little ability to develop healthy relationships.” The same researchers say that “male batterers are more likely to score poorly on mental health tests (for example, anxiety, depression, mania, psychosis) and criminality indicators (for example, anti-social personality and stranger violence).”

You May Have Extraterrestrial DNA. Here’s Why…

Although it sounds impossible, it might just be that you are the genetic descendant of extraterrestrials who passed on their DNA to you. Your ancient alien ancestors may have encoded information about their dying species into your DNA, hoping that life would go on.

The idea is more than just science fiction, it is actual science theory and has been studied by many researchers hoping to learn the truth about our amazing DNA.

You May Have Extraterrestrial DNA. Here’s Why…

Holes in current scientific theories of DNA

The concept of extraterrestrial DNA arises from two pieces of information that science does not explain well. The first is how the incredibly complex DNA sequence evolved out of just separate molecules floating together. The second is how only part of our DNA contains the genes that make us living, breathing humans; the rest is called junk DNA.

Nobel Prize-winning DNA researcher Francis Crick, author of the book Life Itself, did not believe that the DNA molecule could have been created on Earth by accident. It is such a complicated system that he felt it could not have been created by the process of evolution.

A current scientific theory explains the evolution of DNA through the idea of a primeval soup. When the Earth was created, all of these atoms and molecules were moving around and eventually some of them were together in a pool of water that had the ideal conditions for DNA to be created.

Francis Crick felt this primeval soup idea of how life was created was unlikely. He compared the likelihood of DNA has evolved this way to the same likelihood of a fully functioning jumbo jet being formed from the random debris blowing around in a hurricane.

An alternate theory of DNA

Crick instead created his theory of extraterrestrial DNA, which he called the theory of Directed Panspermia. Crick theorized that an alien race facing doom sought to preserve the essence of life and sent it to Earth via a spaceship.

A spaceship is the only way possible for the extraterrestrial DNA to reach Earth because a meteor would be exposed to too much radiation on its way to Earth from another solar system. It is also unlikely that any meteor could have left a solar system other than ours and arrived here.

Extraterrestrial DNA has messages

Our DNA has extra pieces that don’t seem to have a purpose. Scientists refer to these pieces as ‘junk DNA’ because they do not have any of the necessary genes that are important for our development.

Interestingly, patents have been issued for using DNA as a recording device. Scientists have already been able to record a song on the DNA of an E-coli molecule.

Crick proposed that maybe on our so-called ‘junk DNA,’ extraterrestrials could have recorded messages for us. These aliens sent the ingredients of life off into space hoping to preserve life and possibly the history of their civilization.

The conditions on other planets are more likely to favor the survival of microorganisms like DNA than they would for more advanced creatures. So aliens would not have sent their equivalent of lab rats into space because the creatures would likely die on another planet, but sending DNA would be different.

The Human Genome Project has decoded 3.2 million bases of the human DNA. Of these, 97% have no apparent function. The ENCODE project has attempted to uncover hidden meanings in this leftover DNA. Some of the junk DNA is believed to help with regulating the expression of genes.

The ENCODE project believes that between 9 to 50% of DNA has information that regulates the expression of genes

Ewan Birney, a computational biologist, says that ‘the evolutionary rules for regulatory elements are different from those for protein-coding elements. Basically the regulatory elements turn over a lot faster. So, if you find a particular protein-coding gene in a human, you’re going to find nearly the same gene in a mouse most of the time, and that rule just doesn’t work for regulatory elements.’

In other words, the junk DNA isn’t junk, or it doesn’t seem to be. The future for disease-prevention research may lie in understanding the junk DNA rather than focusing on genetic mutations.

So, even if 9 to 50% of the unexplained part of our DNA can now be accounted for, an unexplained portion remains to be decoded. Also, the theory of the primordial soup that created DNA in the first place remains a vague, unproven idea that Francis Crick did not agree with.

So the possibility remains that you are walking, thinking, feeling expression of extraterrestrial DNA that arrived here on Earth to preserve the essence of life. The potential for being an alien ancestor certainly may change your perspective as you go about your day.

5 Awkward Feelings You Have When You’re On The Right Path

This might come as a surprise, but the right path doesn’t always emerge paved in gold, blanketed with comfort. Many times, when you follow the right path in life, you will inevitably experience uncomfortable feelings. Why? Well, think of it like this. When you’ve become accustomed to certain beliefs or a way of living for so long, and your life radically changes, it will feel foreign, and maybe even scary at first.

When you go through an internal awakening and realize you cannot keep living like you have been, you might begin to question everything you once knew. Don’t worry, everyone goes through this from time to time. You can’t expect the right path to appear and your life suddenly becomes devoid of challenges or upheaval. In fact, uncomfortable feelings can indicate that you have found the right path; after all, why would we ever follow through with a decision if we didn’t feel the least bit of apprehension? Isn’t life about taking risks, and going forward even if we feel scared? Oftentimes, the things that scare you will actually contribute to your growth as a person, which means you should follow through with them as you continue on your journey.

Here are 5 uncomfortable feelings you have when you’re on the right path:

sad feelings

1. Nervousness/anxiety

Anytime we face something new in life, we will start to experience feelings of apprehension. After all, anxiety and excitement are basically the same emotion, expressed differently. Maybe what we feel anxious about, can actually turn into what we feel excited about later on. As you continue on your journey, you might find that old ways of thinking simply don’t match up with your life choices anymore. You might begin to see the world as a hostile, scary place, and wonder how you fit into it all. Don’t worry or beat yourself up, this feeling is normal.

Oftentimes, it takes feeling utterly bewildered and on the verge of a breakdown to see things clearly. Feeling anxious simply means you have been resisting change, so just let go and let flow. Everything will work itself out in the end.

However, if you feel anxious the majority of the time, here are some ways to combat those emotions.

2. Feeling lost

You might begin to feel disassociated with everything around you, and feel totally disconnected from yourself and others. Again, these feelings will pass. All this means is that you’ve begun to awaken to your true identity, and all the old layers and false beliefs will start to melt away. If you feel like you’ve lost your direction, don’t let this overtake your senses. Remember, you have to lose your way to find it, as we live in a universe of duality. You cannot know yourself until you lose yourself, so consider this a blessing.

3. Insomnia

As you start to follow the right path in life, you might find that you have trouble falling, or staying, asleep. While this might seem harmful and very destructive, it can lead to incredible breakthroughs and new ways of thinking about life. Remember, it must get worse before it gets better, so losing sleep can indeed lead you to discover a totally new way of living that will help you feel more fulfilled, relaxed, and happy, thus resulting in better sleep.

These times might seem difficult and scary, but also remember that you are not alone here. 7 billion other people have to occupy this planet and share your struggles and fears as well, so find solace in this fact.

4. Isolation

Awakening to the right path can seem incredibly isolating at times. Others might imply that you’ve lost your mind, but don’t pay them any attention. Oftentimes, we find our inner truths in silence and solitude, so embrace them. You don’t need to feel afraid of your own company; instead, learn to love it. Make friends with your darkest shadows and your brightest light, and you will find that you don’t feel so alone by yourself after awhile. Isolation gives us a chance to define ourselves, instead of allowing our group of friends or family members define us.

5. Realizing that you don’t know who you are

It’s perfectly normal to release old labels and ways of identifying yourself. You don’t need to have stringent labels placed on yourself in order to function in this world; embrace yourself as the beautiful, cosmic being that you are, and keep an open mind. Being present and realizing that we can change moment to moment will help you on your path, as you strip away all the labels that no longer serve you.

9 Things You Owe Yourself

Daily self-care rituals provide a sense of stability and regularity in our hectic daily lives; they give us an opportunity to establish healthy habits for living a more fulfilling life. You probably perform small rituals each day without even realizing it. Your morning routine of making coffee, having breakfast, and getting the kids ready for school serves as a ritual. The activities you do in the evening after work count as a self-care ritual, also. Maybe you come home, light some candles, and take a warm bath. Or, maybe you hit the gym or go for a run.

All of these things help us establish a routine, and allows our life to flow from one activity to another, smoothly and effortlessly. If you don’t already give yourselves some of these things daily, they will seriously help improve the quality of your life.

Here are 9 Things You Owe Yourself (Even If You Think You Don’t)

owe yourself

1. You owe it to yourself to write in a gratitude journal.

Feeling grateful doesn’t just sound good on paper; it actually has science backing up the benefits of expressing gratitude. A slew of studies have linked gratitude to lower levels of stress, higher immunity, better sleeping habits, lower overall body fat, and a happier mood overall, to name a few benefits. You’ll want your gratitude journal to be separate from your regular journal, just so you can focus your energy in the moment of what you feel grateful for.

This way, you can also look back on your journal and see how your gratitude has grown over the course of your practice. You can either write in your journal at the end of the day, when you wake up, or both, and don’t hold back. If you only feel grateful today that you had hot coffee, write that down. If you feel grateful for a million things that day, write them all down. Most importantly, remain honest with yourself and don’t hesitate to write down little things that might seem “silly” to others.

2. You owe yourself an easy start to your morning.

How do your morning rituals look right now? Do you hop out of bed, rush to your phone to check emails and notifications, and hurriedly run to the bathroom for a quick shower before grabbing a piece of toast on the way out? If this sounds like you, you might want to consider moving at a slower pace, and practicing mindfulness in your morning routine. Get out of bed slowly, stretch your limbs, and just sit for a while. Don’t run straight to your phone or computer, forget about getting ready for the moment, and just breathe. Allow your body to wake up, and simply train your brain to relax into the present moment.

These simple rituals can really transform an otherwise hectic, chaotic day, and give you a new perspective.

3. You owe it to yourself to meditate.

Obviously, we fully support the practice of meditation, and have mentioned it many times before, because it provides so many benefits in our daily lives. Meditating regularly can actually alter your brain chemistry, lower stress, boost your immune system, give you a more positive outlook, increase mental clarity, and so much more. If you have wanted to start a meditation practice but don’t know how, please refer to our previous article about meditation for beginners here.

4. You owe yourself a healthy breakfast

Many people skip breakfast, but it costs them later in the day when their energy levels start to drop. In order to get your day started on the right foot, opt for a healthy breakfast consisting of a smoothie, oatmeal, or a bowl of fruit with a piece of toast or some sort of grain on the side. Fuel your body with the nutrients it needs so you can feel your best throughout the day. Skipping breakfast might seem more convenient, but our bodies need food regularly to stay energized. If you have to, wake up 30 minutes to an hour earlier each day so you can prepare a nourishing breakfast.

5. You owe yourself exercise.

By now, you probably have heard all the benefits of exercise, but we’ll reiterate them here anyway. To list just a few, regular exercise improves your mood, releases chemicals such as dopamine and serotonin to leave you feeling happier and relaxed, helps you maintain a healthy weight, boosts self-esteem, lowers the risk of health problems, boosts energy levels, increases immunity, and much more. The key is to find something you really enjoy, and do it regularly, at least three to five times per week. This way, it won’t seem like a chore, but rather, something to look forward to in your routine.

6. You owe yourself a few deep breaths.

Deep breathing can stabilize your stress levels, give you peace of mind, and even lower your blood pressure. Breathing correctly can improve your mental, emotional, and physical health, and can also help you sleep better at night by calming your mind.

Here are 5 Breathing Exercises That Relax You Immediately

7. You owe it to yourself to be a decent human being

In our society, we tend to focus so much on paying our bills, doing our errands, and just trying to survive that we often forget about the mutual benefits of helping others. Getting in the habit of offering a helping hand to at least one person per day will give you a greater sense of self-worth, while also making someone else’s life a little easier.

8. You owe yourself the power of positivity.

Complaining does nothing but drain our valuable energy, and sucks the life out of us eventually. Complaining keeps us focused on the negatives, so try going at least a week without complaining at all, and see how much better you feel. A positive mindset gives way to a positive life, so keep this in mind next time things don’t seem to go your way.

9. You owe yourself time away from your phone.

It’s no secret that the bright lights from our electronics can keep us awake at night. The light plus the action of playing games, watching YouTube videos, or checking emails stimulates our brain, which is exactly the opposite of what we need to be doing before bed. Try reading, meditating, taking a warm bath, or drinking tea before bed instead of staying glued to technology, and see how much better you sleep at night.

What Does Your Tongue Reveal About Your Health?

Our tongue is probably the least thought about organ in our body. Most of us know that the tongue allows us to taste food and helps us form words, but is there anything else that’s worth knowing about this fleshy, muscular organ?

In fact, there is. As it turns out, our tongue can reveal important facts about our health. When we go and see our doctor, they’ll often have us open our mouth and extend our tongue. They do so for good reason: our tongue is one of the most visible representations of our overall health.

The best way make a determination of our health while examining our tongue is to match its appearance to potential causes. With that said, let’s take delve into some common health conclusions that can be made when the tongue appears or feels a certain way.

What does your tongue reveal about your health?

1. Tongue contains brown or black fuzz

While this look can be alarming and deeply troubling, it’s actually just a matter of oral health. A tongue that contains brown or black fuzz is the a strong indication of bad oral hygiene.

Papillae –tiny bumps we see on our tongue – normally become worn down simply by eating and drinking. However, they can sometimes experience overgrowth which makes them prone to concentrations of bacteria and discoloration. Doctors point out that the root causes of this visually unappealing condition are normally smoking, drinking coffee or dark teas, or just bad dental hygiene.

The remedy is to simply eliminate the habit that caused it. Stop smoking, drink less coffee or tea, and practice good hygiene. Tongue scrapers are also available that make the removal of fuzz easier.

2. Visible patches of white

A frequent symptom among tobacco users, patches of white underneath the tongue, around the gums, and on the insides of our cheeks (called leukoplakia) are usually caused by an irritant of some sort.

Although leukoplakia isn’t normally dangerous, is can be potentially serious. Most patches of leukoplakia are benign (non-cancerous), but some can show early signs of cancer. Tobacco users, especially smokers, that display these lesions have between a 5 to 17 percent chance of the patches becoming cancerous. Doctors point out that these precancerous patches will normally disappear when tobacco use is stopped.

3. Burning sensation of the tongue

Burning sensations of the tongue are quite common – 15% of people will experience it sometime in their life. Women are seven times more likely to get a burning sensation, as it sometimes occurs post-menopause.

If the tongue appears normal yet burns, it can mean a couple of different things. Hormonal changes, wrong toothpaste and allergies from toothpaste can create a burning sensation. Many toothpastes get their foamy appearance from an ingredient called sodium lauryl sulfate (SLS), which has been known to cause stinging and burning – even suddenly. In this instance, it’s advisable to change to a paste that does not contain SLS (Sensodyne is a popular brand for this reason).

In many cases, the burning sensation will subside without intervention. For cases when the symptom is persistent, doctors will often prescribe antibiotic rinses or neuropathic medication.

4. “Geographic tongue”

Affecting roughly between 1 to 14 percent of the population, Geographic tongue is a medically coined term that refers to a sporadic, rutted appearance resembling bumpy terrain. Fortunately, this is a very common, normal condition that doesn’t normally indicate any health concerns.

Experts are somewhat unclear about what causes Geographic tongue, although it’s believed that the growth and degeneration of taste buds could play a role. When this growth and degeneration of is uneven, it creates a visually noticeable effect.

This condition of the tongue doesn’t usually require medical intervention. However, if they become painful it’s advisable to see a doctor, who will usually then prescribe some type of anti-inflammatory steroid paste or antihistamine rinse.

5. Small, painful sores (Canker sores)

Canker sores are painful sores that form on the tongue and cheeks. Most people reading this have had canker sores at one time or another…and they’re a nuisance. Fortunately, they’re not dangerous or cause for any type of health concern. Canker sores are not contagious – not be confused with cold sores (lip sores) that are very transmittable.

Common as they are, health professionals aren’t quite certain what cause them. However, doctors say that canker sores are probably some sort of virus. People that are burnt out and stressed are more susceptible to canker sores, so we all have another great reason to reduce our stress levels.

6. Wrinkles

Our tongue is not exempt from the aging process, which is usually the cause of a wrinkled tongue appearance. Noticeable crevices in the tongue are typically harmless, although poor oral hygiene can spur an infection within these crevices.

If an infection occurs, it is usually treated with an antifungal medication of some sort. Doctors also point out that dental fixtures – such as dentures – can cause hollows to form on the tongue. For the rest of us, wrinkles on the tongue can be somewhat counteracted by drinking enough water, practicing good dental hygiene and brushing our tongue.

7. Bright red tongue

If our tongue starts to take on the color of a red apple, it’s time to check our vitamin intake. Papillae on the tongue require vitamins – especially iron and B12 – in order to develop normally. When we’re deficient in these two vitamins, our tongue can appear very red and smooth.

In rare cases, this condition can cause burning when eating certain foods. Vegetarians are also susceptible, since their diets often do not contain an adequate amount of B12. For some vegans, medical professionals advise taking supplements with a doctor’s recommendation.

3 Things You Need To Know As Mercury Retrograde Ends

Mercury retrograde gives us an opportunity to slow down, go deep within, and do some internal processing. Things can seem to go haywire during Mercury retrograde, but this tests our patience and teaches us valuable lessons in the process. Communication may not seem as clear or concise, technology might break down, and we just feel frustrated and a bit out of sorts. However, this Mercury retrograde in particular was a powerful one for inner reflection, healing, and positive change.

Here are three things you need to know as Mercury retrograde comes to an end:

1. This is a time for exciting new developments.

Since January 5th, Mercury has been retrograding in Capricorn, which means you might have thoughts of a new career path, different hobbies, or just totally restructuring your life and the way you approach it. The recent full moon helped facilitate these aspirations towards newfound career goals and life paths, as the Leo full moon governs our creative expression, and requires us to put our hearts into whatever passion we choose. As far as the opposing sign, Aquarius, you might have also noticed a shift in your interests.

Maybe you have a desire to learn more about a particular subject, such as science, or maybe you just want to dive right into any intellectual conversation. Leo governs our hearts and feelings, but Aquarius governs our minds. You will likely notice developments in both your mind and heart as we exit Mercury retrograde, so prepare yourself for exciting changes!

2. Consider your personal goals and career choices carefully.

You will also likely notice that your thoughts about your career and personal goals will change during this time. Don’t be surprised if your career path changes drastically, as this particular Mercury retrograde challenges us to release the old and bring in the new. Mercury retrograde, along with a full moon, bring with it intense energy. Not to mention, Mercury is conjunct Pluto and and square Uranus, so these energies might bring about a sudden need for independence and freedom, which could signify a shift in your life goals.

Even if you have been stuck in the same job for years, now is the time to consider if it’s truly the right choice for you. Also, reassess your goals outside of work. You might find a new hobby or project to work on, while also tackling all the other goals you had previously set for yourself. Don’t hold back; now that we have begun to exit the retrograde, it’s time to unveil everything we have been hiding and truly awaken to our highest selves.

3. Expect a total transformation and rebirth of the self during mercury retrograde.

You will likely have the desire to go deep within, rip out old wounds, and center yourself for the days to come. What passions do you have that you haven’t yet chased? What dreams have been sitting inside your mind, unfollowed? Use this time to deepen your connection with yourself, and figure out what you truly want and who you are in this vast universe. You can decide who you will be, never forget that. No one can define you but yourself, so allow yourself the opportunity to grow as the universe continues to expand.

However, don’t put too much pressure on yourself, either. Everything will unfold as it should, so don’t force or fight anything. Just go with the flow, while also remembering to follow your heart no matter what. During the retrograde, you might’ve felt a bit sluggish, off center, and imbalanced. However, don’t allow this energy to carry over into this week.

The Mercury retrograde gave us an opportunity for deep reflection, but as we exit, we can use what we’ve learned to better our lives and truly shape them into what we have always imagined. If you want to learn a new skill, now’s your chance! If you want to volunteer somewhere, or start up a business, or practice yoga, or learn how to draw, don’t stop yourself!

Always listen to your heart, because it will never lead you down the wrong path.

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