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What Does Your Tongue Reveal About Your Health?

Our tongue is probably the least thought about organ in our body. Most of us know that the tongue allows us to taste food and helps us form words, but is there anything else that’s worth knowing about this fleshy, muscular organ?

In fact, there is. As it turns out, our tongue can reveal important facts about our health. When we go and see our doctor, they’ll often have us open our mouth and extend our tongue. They do so for good reason: our tongue is one of the most visible representations of our overall health.

The best way make a determination of our health while examining our tongue is to match its appearance to potential causes. With that said, let’s take delve into some common health conclusions that can be made when the tongue appears or feels a certain way.

What does your tongue reveal about your health?

1. Tongue contains brown or black fuzz

While this look can be alarming and deeply troubling, it’s actually just a matter of oral health. A tongue that contains brown or black fuzz is the a strong indication of bad oral hygiene.

Papillae –tiny bumps we see on our tongue – normally become worn down simply by eating and drinking. However, they can sometimes experience overgrowth which makes them prone to concentrations of bacteria and discoloration. Doctors point out that the root causes of this visually unappealing condition are normally smoking, drinking coffee or dark teas, or just bad dental hygiene.

The remedy is to simply eliminate the habit that caused it. Stop smoking, drink less coffee or tea, and practice good hygiene. Tongue scrapers are also available that make the removal of fuzz easier.

2. Visible patches of white

A frequent symptom among tobacco users, patches of white underneath the tongue, around the gums, and on the insides of our cheeks (called leukoplakia) are usually caused by an irritant of some sort.

Although leukoplakia isn’t normally dangerous, is can be potentially serious. Most patches of leukoplakia are benign (non-cancerous), but some can show early signs of cancer. Tobacco users, especially smokers, that display these lesions have between a 5 to 17 percent chance of the patches becoming cancerous. Doctors point out that these precancerous patches will normally disappear when tobacco use is stopped.

3. Burning sensation of the tongue

Burning sensations of the tongue are quite common – 15% of people will experience it sometime in their life. Women are seven times more likely to get a burning sensation, as it sometimes occurs post-menopause.

If the tongue appears normal yet burns, it can mean a couple of different things. Hormonal changes, wrong toothpaste and allergies from toothpaste can create a burning sensation. Many toothpastes get their foamy appearance from an ingredient called sodium lauryl sulfate (SLS), which has been known to cause stinging and burning – even suddenly. In this instance, it’s advisable to change to a paste that does not contain SLS (Sensodyne is a popular brand for this reason).

In many cases, the burning sensation will subside without intervention. For cases when the symptom is persistent, doctors will often prescribe antibiotic rinses or neuropathic medication.

4. “Geographic tongue”

Affecting roughly between 1 to 14 percent of the population, Geographic tongue is a medically coined term that refers to a sporadic, rutted appearance resembling bumpy terrain. Fortunately, this is a very common, normal condition that doesn’t normally indicate any health concerns.

Experts are somewhat unclear about what causes Geographic tongue, although it’s believed that the growth and degeneration of taste buds could play a role. When this growth and degeneration of is uneven, it creates a visually noticeable effect.

This condition of the tongue doesn’t usually require medical intervention. However, if they become painful it’s advisable to see a doctor, who will usually then prescribe some type of anti-inflammatory steroid paste or antihistamine rinse.

5. Small, painful sores (Canker sores)

Canker sores are painful sores that form on the tongue and cheeks. Most people reading this have had canker sores at one time or another…and they’re a nuisance. Fortunately, they’re not dangerous or cause for any type of health concern. Canker sores are not contagious – not be confused with cold sores (lip sores) that are very transmittable.

Common as they are, health professionals aren’t quite certain what cause them. However, doctors say that canker sores are probably some sort of virus. People that are burnt out and stressed are more susceptible to canker sores, so we all have another great reason to reduce our stress levels.

6. Wrinkles

Our tongue is not exempt from the aging process, which is usually the cause of a wrinkled tongue appearance. Noticeable crevices in the tongue are typically harmless, although poor oral hygiene can spur an infection within these crevices.

If an infection occurs, it is usually treated with an antifungal medication of some sort. Doctors also point out that dental fixtures – such as dentures – can cause hollows to form on the tongue. For the rest of us, wrinkles on the tongue can be somewhat counteracted by drinking enough water, practicing good dental hygiene and brushing our tongue.

7. Bright red tongue

If our tongue starts to take on the color of a red apple, it’s time to check our vitamin intake. Papillae on the tongue require vitamins – especially iron and B12 – in order to develop normally. When we’re deficient in these two vitamins, our tongue can appear very red and smooth.

In rare cases, this condition can cause burning when eating certain foods. Vegetarians are also susceptible, since their diets often do not contain an adequate amount of B12. For some vegans, medical professionals advise taking supplements with a doctor’s recommendation.

3 Things You Need To Know As Mercury Retrograde Ends

Mercury retrograde gives us an opportunity to slow down, go deep within, and do some internal processing. Things can seem to go haywire during Mercury retrograde, but this tests our patience and teaches us valuable lessons in the process. Communication may not seem as clear or concise, technology might break down, and we just feel frustrated and a bit out of sorts. However, this Mercury retrograde in particular was a powerful one for inner reflection, healing, and positive change.

Here are three things you need to know as Mercury retrograde comes to an end:

1. This is a time for exciting new developments.

Since January 5th, Mercury has been retrograding in Capricorn, which means you might have thoughts of a new career path, different hobbies, or just totally restructuring your life and the way you approach it. The recent full moon helped facilitate these aspirations towards newfound career goals and life paths, as the Leo full moon governs our creative expression, and requires us to put our hearts into whatever passion we choose. As far as the opposing sign, Aquarius, you might have also noticed a shift in your interests.

Maybe you have a desire to learn more about a particular subject, such as science, or maybe you just want to dive right into any intellectual conversation. Leo governs our hearts and feelings, but Aquarius governs our minds. You will likely notice developments in both your mind and heart as we exit Mercury retrograde, so prepare yourself for exciting changes!

2. Consider your personal goals and career choices carefully.

You will also likely notice that your thoughts about your career and personal goals will change during this time. Don’t be surprised if your career path changes drastically, as this particular Mercury retrograde challenges us to release the old and bring in the new. Mercury retrograde, along with a full moon, bring with it intense energy. Not to mention, Mercury is conjunct Pluto and and square Uranus, so these energies might bring about a sudden need for independence and freedom, which could signify a shift in your life goals.

Even if you have been stuck in the same job for years, now is the time to consider if it’s truly the right choice for you. Also, reassess your goals outside of work. You might find a new hobby or project to work on, while also tackling all the other goals you had previously set for yourself. Don’t hold back; now that we have begun to exit the retrograde, it’s time to unveil everything we have been hiding and truly awaken to our highest selves.

3. Expect a total transformation and rebirth of the self during mercury retrograde.

You will likely have the desire to go deep within, rip out old wounds, and center yourself for the days to come. What passions do you have that you haven’t yet chased? What dreams have been sitting inside your mind, unfollowed? Use this time to deepen your connection with yourself, and figure out what you truly want and who you are in this vast universe. You can decide who you will be, never forget that. No one can define you but yourself, so allow yourself the opportunity to grow as the universe continues to expand.

However, don’t put too much pressure on yourself, either. Everything will unfold as it should, so don’t force or fight anything. Just go with the flow, while also remembering to follow your heart no matter what. During the retrograde, you might’ve felt a bit sluggish, off center, and imbalanced. However, don’t allow this energy to carry over into this week.

The Mercury retrograde gave us an opportunity for deep reflection, but as we exit, we can use what we’ve learned to better our lives and truly shape them into what we have always imagined. If you want to learn a new skill, now’s your chance! If you want to volunteer somewhere, or start up a business, or practice yoga, or learn how to draw, don’t stop yourself!

Always listen to your heart, because it will never lead you down the wrong path.

5 Things That Happen When You Meet Your Soulmate

When you meet that special person who is the soulmate that you’re meant for, you can expect special things to happen in your life.

To ensure you are on the right track with your partner, read our article here. If this person is your twin flame, ideal match, and destiny, you will be in for a wonderful journey together.

A Gallup poll stated the following:

“While marriage is losing much of its broad public and institutional character, it is gaining popularity as a ‘SuperRelationship’ — an intensely private spiritualized union, combining sexual fidelity, romantic love, emotional intimacy, and togetherness.”

5 Things That Happen When You Meet Your Soulmate

signs of soulmate

As you and your soulmate bond, you will find that this one important romantic connection will shape other things that will happen to you.

1. Miracles begin to happen

Finding the one who was meant for you, your soulmate, can feel like a miracle for you. Why would it not be possible for other extraordinary things to happen? With your new sense of love, fulfillment, and belonging to another, you will begin to notice other happy coincidences.

The connection of you to your soulmate was a part of your destiny. Now that you are on the path to completing this part of your life’s purpose, other pieces will also begin to fall into place for you.

2. Your soulmate helps you solve problems that you had no answer for before

Not having a loving partner was like having a problem that needed to be solved. Now that the hole in your heart has been made whole, you can focus your energy on other things that need fixing.

Neil Clark Warren, the author of Date or Soul Mate?: How to Know if Someone is Worth Pursuing in Two Dates or Less, says that your soulmate will be someone who is your financial partner for life, roommate for life, and joint parent to every child you will have for life. When you have found a soulmate, these crucial decisions are no longer a concern for you. Having someone to rely on that can support you in these ways relieves a huge burden.

With your soulmate’s help, you can work to find solutions together. Two minds and hearts are far better than one at overcoming any obstacle. Your partner supports your dreams and wants you to be happy, so they will focus their energy on helping you do what needs to be done.

soulmate quotes

3. You connect more deeply with friends and relatives

Once you have met your soulmate, the other meaningful connections in your life also become more meaningful. You have found a way to bond so deeply with one person that you appreciate the value of that strong connection to people. So you begin to seek out opportunities to connect closely to the other special people in your life.

You begin spending more time with family, asking your parents, relatives, and friends about their love lives. You learn to appreciate the love that created you and your soulmate.

Friends who support your relationship will be ones that you keep. But anyone who feels that you have not made the right match will be gone from your life quickly. You have no room in your life for someone who can’t support your connection to your true love.

4. Love happens for other people around you too

Once you have met your soulmate, you start to help others to see the possibility of love connections around them. The quality of a soulmate is now one of the most desirable traits in a partner, according to a Gallup poll of men and women aged 20 to 29. Now that you have found your soulmate, you want your friends also to find their soulmates. That’s because you want them to experience the happiness that you have.

Knowing yourself, your dreams, fears, values, morals, likes, and dislikes is an excellent first step to finding the right soulmate connection, according to Neil Clark Warren. With your perspective on true love and a good knowledge of your friend’s personality, you can help them find mates that will feed their soul, not starve it.

soulmate

5. Your worldview changes

Your soulmate will begin to help you see things differently. You have a positive, energetic outlook that you might not have had before. Your soulmate has helped your heart open and you will be more forgiving, loving, and accepting of others.

You begin to think about the legacy you will leave for future generations. Will you build a family together? How will the world look for your future family? Even if you don’t decide to have children, you begin to wonder how you can help others see true love is indeed possible, even in a cynical world that doesn’t believe in soulmates.

7 Green Superfoods You Need To Be Eating

There are several so-called “superfoods” that possess incredible health benefits. Superfoods span across the food pyramid – from the well-known strawberry to the inconspicuous watercress vegetable (anyone?). Apparently, the watercress is a spinach-like vegetable with a heavy dose of nutrients – including Vitamin K, beta-carotene and a few other important cancer-fighting types.

This article is going to focus more on the green superfoods. We’ll discuss the vast nutritional benefits of our personal favorites and also the lesser known nutritional powerhouses.

Here are seven green superfoods you need to be eating:

1. Apples

Okay, so apples come in colors other than green – but they’re still a tremendous food. Apples are free of fat, cholesterol and sodium while being a nutrient-dense treat. A good source of fiber, apples can help aid in losing weight and fighting off obesity. Apples also contain an important antioxidant called Quercetin, which is believed to block free radicals from damaging brain cells. They’re also good for the heart – in a study published by the Journal of Functional Foods, those who ate an apple a day for 4 weeks lowered their bad cholesterol levels at a 40% higher rate than those who did not.

2. Avocados

Guacamole is just one reason why avocados are such an awesome food. Despite the common belief that avocados should be avoided because of its high fat content, they consist of very healthy fats that our diets need. They’re incredibly nutrient dense, containing about 1/3 of the recommended daily intake (RDI) of vitamin K and folate. They’re also a great source of vitamins B6 and C. Avocado also aids in digestion, stabilizes blood sugar, improves eye health, and can help with weight loss.

3. Brussels sprouts

A somewhat bitter vegetable, Brussels sprouts have gained a reputation as something to be avoided. Looking past this, it is an incredibly healthy veggie and can taste very good when combined with something tangy or savory. On the nutritional side, these sprouts are a great source of vitamin K, folate and iron. Just one cup of cooked Brussels sprouts contains 130 percent RDI of vitamin C, as well. It’s also rich in fiber, manganese, potassium, choline and B vitamins. However, they’re not just a nutrient-dense veggie; they also have cancer and chronic-disease fighting properties in the form of phytochemicals such as antioxidants.

4. Kale

It seems that these green vegetables are just packed with antioxidants, and kale is no different. In fact, kale has one of the highest antioxidant levels of any vegetable. Only a few – arugula, beet greens, cabbage, sweet potatoes, and raw garlic – have a higher antioxidant (ORAC) rating. ORAC is short for Oxygen Radical Absorbance Capacity, which measures foods ability to absorb potentially damaging free radicals.

Free radicals are molecules that can damage the body at the cellular level, and are a problematic presence in the formation of diseases and disorders such as rheumatoid arthritis, cardiovascular disease, and diabetes. But besides being a wonderful and powerful antioxidant, kale has been shown to have cancer fighting properties and promote urinary health.

5. Nopales (or Nopal Cactus)

Okay, so who has heard of these superfoods? Nopales have been a stable of Mexican cuisine for a long time (let’s all forgive Taco Bell). It is a desert plant and resembles the texture of a cactus, with spikes and all. Interestingly, this superfood also produces both fruit (in prickly pear) and vegetable (green pad; its skin). It apparently tastes pretty good, as it has found a culinary following in both the United States and Europe.

Health-wise, the nopales is beaming with an assortment of nutritional goodies. It has a high level of B-Complex vitamins such as thiamin, riboflavin and niacin – all essential to the body’s metabolic functions. It’s also been traditionally known to reduce the symptoms of inflammation and diabetes. Rich in antioxidants, it’s good for an assortment of important immune system functions. Finally, the Nopal Cactus helps support healthy blood sugar levels through a slow, timed release of sugars.

6. Pistachios

Who doesn’t like pistachios? Not only are these things absolutely delicious (they make Pistachio flavored ice cream…ice cream!), but they’re absolutely rich in vitamins and nutrients. This nut is rich in fiber and protein; while just a one-ounce serving has almost as much potassium as a whole banana. Pistachios are also known to reduce our bad cholesterol levels, increase our good cholesterol, and boost our antioxidants. Pistachios are also well-known for helping to prevent Type 2 diabetes. Rich in Vitamin E, pistachios protect the skin and also contain carotenoids – helping to shield our eyes from damage.

7. Spinach

There’s a reason this tasty vegetable was the first thing Popeye reached for when he needed to beat down Bluto for messing with Olive Oyl. Consider this: Spinach contains more nutrients per calorie than any other food on earth. Seriously…we could write an entire article on Spinach alone (which we just may). But here’s is a rundown of this incredible vegetable:

  • Packed with vitamins A, K, D, and E
  • An excellent source of Omega-3’s
  • Carries anti-cancer and anti-inflammatory antioxidants
  • Protects the eyes against diseases such as cataracts and macular degeneration
  • Balances the acidity that many of us ingest through our processed diet, which can drain energy and increase obesity

Here are a couple of other tips to maximize this wonderful food. First, try choosing only organic spinach as non-organic can contain high levels of pesticides. Second, look for the greenest spinach, as this likely indicates the highest level of vitamin C.

7 Signs You Have An Iodine Deficiency

When many of us contemplate ways to achieve optimal health, many share a general consensus that we need to eat healthy, exercise, and stay away from harmful habits – smoking, drinking to excess, etc. One area that doesn’t seem to get the recognition it deserves is appropriate supplementation. We often fail to ensure that our bodies consume an adequate amount of vitamins and minerals. Specifically, iodine deficiency can have dire consequences on the body.

While we may have learned about iodine in chemistry class, little to nothing is taught about the element’s function as it relates to the human body. Turns out, iodine is essential to our body’s health on a number of levels. In fact, there are few minerals that have a bigger impact on our overall well-being.

The opening abstract that preceded the introduction of this article is from a 1999 study by the New England Journal of Medicine. Researchers discovered that pregnant women with untreated hypothyroidism – a condition where the body lacks insufficient thyroid hormone – negatively impacted children’s cognitive development. Most, unfortunately, the children involved in this study also scored lower on tests of attention, language, and visual-motor performance.

Causes of Iodine Deficiency

One of the root causes of hypothyroidism is iodine deficiency. This is because the thyroid gland requires the mineral in order to regulate the metabolism and development of the skeleton and brain, in addition to a few other purposes. Dr. Jorge Flechas – one of the world’s most prominent experts on hypothyroidism – cites insufficient iodine as a cause or contributing factor to a number of different developmental problems. Among these are:

  • Goiter: abnormal enlargement of the thyroid gland.
  • Cognitive and developmental delays: below-average levels of intellectual function.
  • Cretinism: severe impairments in physical and mental development due to untreated congenital hypothyroidism.
  • Cancer: including breast, stomach, thyroid, ovary, and prostate.

Dr. David Brownstein, also a world-renowned physician and author of the book Iodine: Why You Need It, Why You Can’t Live Without It, states that iodine is one of the most misunderstood and unvalued nutrients. He then cites a variety of different diseases and conditions that proper iodine supplementation can alleviate or prevent, including:

  • ADHD
  • Autism
  • Breast, Thyroid, Ovarian, and Uterine Cancer
  • Fatigue
  • Fibrocystic Breasts
  • Graves’ Disease
  • Hashimoto’s Disease
  • Hypothyroidism
  • Malfunctioning immune system

Additionally, iodine deficiency is a precursor to a number of different health problems. Fortunately, the iodization of common table salt has drastically reduced the numbers of iodine deficiency disorders (IDD) in developed countries. Health professionals are still concerned, as studies show the average American’s iodine intake dropping nearly 50% over a 20-year span.

Now that we understand iodine’s importance, let’s examine some of the more common symptoms of iodine deficiency. We’ll also provide some common food sources of iodine.

Here are 7 symptoms of iodine deficiency:

Even a mild, symptom-free case of thyroid deficiency in a pregnant woman can affect her child’s IQ scores years late, results of a study suggest. Children aged 7 to 9 who had mothers with untreated hypothyroidism in pregnancy had IQ scores about 7 points lower than youngsters of women without such a deficiency. – The New England Journal of Medicine

1. Increased fatigue

Increased fatigue directly relates to the inactivity of the thyroid. This can manifest into a noticeable drop in energy levels. As a result, this symptom of individuals is one of the first noted with an iodine deficiency.

B6

Dietitians explain the dangers of a B6 deficiency (and how to beat it!).

2. Weight gain

When iodine is insufficient, our bodies’ metabolic functions experience a drop-off – this slows the body’s ability to convert food into energy. As a result, fat is more likely to be stored in our cells.

3. Increased sensitivity to cold

Increasing sensitivity to cold generally implicates a slow metabolism. As our metabolic rate decreases, blood flow does as well. Less blood flow to our organs – including our skin – can result in excessive feelings of coldness.

4. Dry skin

20% of all iodine is stored in our skin, specifically in the sweat glands. The absence of iodine in the sweat glands results in a decreased ability to perspire. Combining this effect with decreased iodine supplementation, our skin doesn’t receive enough moisture. The result of this dryness manifests as dry, flaky, or cracked skin.

5. Constipation

Deficient iodine levels slow the normal functioning of the digestive tract. It also inhibits the ability of stomach muscles to properly contract. That functionality is necessary to move waste through the intestine. So if you suffer from constipation often, consider the presence of an iodine deficiency.

6. Depressed mood

Areas of the world that suffer from disproportionate cases of hypothyroidism cite depression as one of the commonly-reported symptoms. The symptom of depression is believed to be the result of the myriad of adverse effects an inactive thyroid has on hormonal stability and cognitive function.

iodine deficiency

7. Thin or brittle hair and nails

The underproduction of thyroid hormones effectively disrupts the supply of important nutrients to the hair and nails. So without sufficient nutrients, the normal growth and development of hair and nails are stunted. As a result, this can potentially lead to thinning and brittleness of hair and nails.

Fortunately, many healthy and widely-available food sources contain iodine. While iodized table salt may be the most convenient, here are some others: seaweed, bread, navy beans, baked potatoes, strawberries, and cranberries.

Multi-vitamins and other supplements are also available that will deliver the recommended daily amounts of iodine.

5 Signs You’re Being Taken Advantage Of

In an ideal world, all of our relationships would be fruitful and contribute to a sense of purpose. Unfortunately, the trials and tribulations of life often derail even our best intentions. We enter in relationships intending to make things work and to give all of ourselves to someone else. But as with a countless number other things, relationships are fallible. The time may come when you start to take your partner for granted. That’s not atypical. Relationships will always be fallible because human beings are fallible.

People distance themselves from one another all the time. This often leads to the earnest desire to get things back to “the way they were.” This is a very natural, human emotion. Nearly every person that enters into more than one relationship will assuredly experience thoughts and feelings of inadequacy and low self-worth. Nearly every person will want to break down those relationship barriers that have derailed such a sacred bond.

Relationship experts continuously stress the importance of communication in any type of mutual partnership – friendship, marriage, dating, etc. It is often the breakdown of communication between two people that eventually results in a failed relationship. This is mentioned because every one of the below-mentioned “signs” has a common denominator: some type of breakdown in communication. Keep this in mind.

Here are five signs your partner is taking you for granted:

I now know that things I always thought I could depend on can crash in an instant. Because of the love that I have been shown, I now know what it means to be ‘beloved.’ I now know that no breath is to be taken for granted. Rebecca Wells

1. They are always gone

Remember during those initial phases of a relationship when we’re seemingly always attached to the other person? Well, it’s indeed a “phase” for most of us…on some level. It’s normal that as a relationship develops, we strive for a bit more independence and alone-time. After all, we’re together quite often and time apart is healthy… again, on some level.

Many people that were victims in a failed relationship had been avoided by their partner. The relationship essentially gets to a point where the other person feels like bailing. Maybe the relationship is a bit more complex – children involved, finances, owning a home, etc. – and they can’t or won’t completely disengage. In that instance, they’ll just disappear for long stretches of time without much explanation.

quotes on kindness

2. They display a severe lack of trust

A severe, unwarranted lack of trust is an affront to the character of another person.  In essence, they’re taking for granted the foundation on which the relationship was laid. When one person can’t trust the word of their partner, it’s often to the demise of a relationship.

They’ve trusted enough to enter into a relationship. But for whatever reason, they irrationally doubt the intentions of the other person. In a sense, this is a lack of engagement; a lack of engagement that could easily be overcome if they were willing to engage in constructive dialogue. The problem is that they’re often not willing to do so. In reality, many partners with trust issues have them because of their own self-image and ego.

3. The conversations are one-sided

One of the best ways to show someone your love is to listen to them respectfully. How many times have we heard “he/she doesn’t listen enough?” This is perhaps the most prevalent complaint that marriage or couples therapists hear. This problem usually manifests itself in one of two ways: either we’re always doing the talking or they are. Either way, the conversation is a one-way street.

When we don’t make a conscious effort to actively listen to our partner, we’re showing an egregious level of disrespect. When we’re not making an effort to engage in any type of meaningful dialogue, we’re showing an egregious level of disrespect. The bottom line is that effective, two-way communication is a must for a relationship to be healthy.

4. They don’t keep their commitments

How many of us remember our first date or our first serious relationship? When we gave our word that we’d be somewhere at some time, we were there. Granted, some of this fastidiousness may have been during the “honeymoon phase,” but we did our best to be there.

As with most relationships that develop, it’s normal to be a bit laxer about our role in the relationship. We get comfortable, we think we know the well-meaning intentions of the other person…so, we just let it slide. Then we let it slide some more until we come to the realization that something is obviously wrong.

Taking someone’s time for granted is taking them for granted, period. When it happens continuously, it’s almost always a sign of disengagement.

taking for granted

5. They show a lack of empathy

Of all the above-mentioned signs, this may be the most hurtful. In a relationship, empathy – at its core – is an expression of love. When we’re separated from the feelings of another person, we start to withhold the emotional feedback that they need at a given time. This is something we do to someone who’s irreparably lost our interest; or perhaps, never had it in the first place.

When we’re in love with someone, it’s only human that we’re sensitive to their thoughts and feelings. When this no longer becomes the case, someone is being taken for granted in the worst way imaginable. Nobody in any kind of relationship should have to experience that.

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