7 Warning Signs Your Relationship Is About To Be Over

January 10, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Your anxiety over a possible relationship breakup is driving you crazy, and you have been mulling over the signs your relationship is about to be over. You’re feeling uncertain about your romantic future with your partner. Being on rocky ground doesn’t feel good and you just want to know, is it over or not?

Because your relationship is a partnership between the two of you, you create a new self-concept of yourself with your partner than you had before the relationship. This type of change in your individuality is normal in a healthy relationship. When you notice clear signs your relationship is about to be over, you may feel like you are unsure of yourself.

One study found that people felt a sense of loss of their own identity after the end of a romantic relationship because they had invested so much of themselves in the partnership. Worrying about who you are without your partner is normal, and the anxiety may start once you notice signs your relationship is about to be over.

If you haven’t confronted your partner with the question of whether your relationship is about to be over just yet, you’re probably looking for the warning signs that your relationship is about to be over. Here are some warning signs that you might have already picked up on.

Here are 7 warning signs that your relationship is over:

1. The possibility of a breakup is on your mind constantly

Your anxiety about a breakup could be nothing, but more than likely you’ve picked up on the signs that your relationship is about to be over. If your gut is telling you that things are ending, you might be right.

The alternative is that you’re picking up on signs of problems in the relationship. Just because you’re having problems doesn’t mean that it’s over. All couples argue, after all. But if you do sense a problem, it’s definitely time to fix it if you hope to save the relationship.

2. You don’t spend as much time together as you used to

Is your partner on social media more than they are socializing with you? According to a study of 205 Facebook users in relationships of 3 years or less, a high level of Facebook usage is associated with breakup/divorce, emotional cheating, and physical cheating. The researchers also found that Facebook was a source of conflict for these couples.

Whether you believe that your partner is seeking other romantic relationships online or not, the amount of time that they spend isolated from you can be a reason for concern, and could be one of the signs your relationship is about to be over.

3. Your conversations are boring

Did you feed the dog? You forgot your keys. We’re having chicken for dinner. If your conversations are just about the day in, day out parts of living, it’s either a sign of your total harmony in your relationship, or that you’re avoiding deeper subjects that you’re afraid to bring up.

Couples argue, they express their emotions, they talk about their future plans, they laugh, and they encourage each other to become even better people. Ask yourself if you’re avoiding some subjects out of fear that you have less in common than you wish that you did.

4. Your emotional health is suffering

If depressed, fearful, anxious, frustrated, angry or hurt is how you feel the majority of the time, it’s a warning sign for the health of your relationship and also your mental well-being.

If you are able to express your feelings to your partner, now is the time to do it with honesty. Let them know that you have been feeling neglected, and ask them how they are feeling about your relationship with them. If they don’t seem concerned about your feelings, this is likely one of the signs your relationship is about to be over.

5. One of you has changed significantly

People change for reasons other than trying to impress a romantic partner.

However, significant changes in the following areas could mean that your partner is having an affair, which should be a surefire sign your relationship is about to be over:

Longer/later/different work schedule
Having sex/being intimate less often
Musical taste changes
Different opinions from what they used to believe
Spending money on unusual things (flowers, dry cleaners, rental cars)
More frequent trips away from the house
Clothing style changes
Weight or appearance changes

Change is not always in response to seeking another romantic partner but these changes may lead you to investigate whether your partner is courting someone new.

6. You don’t trust your partner as much as you used to

When you ask your partner questions about where they have been or who they have been with, you aren’t sure that they are telling the truth. You ask yourself if you’re being insecure or if your partner really is a liar. Trust your gut, but back it up with evidence if you are able to before you confront your partner. If they act suspiciously or conceal the whole truth from you about their whereabouts or the people they’ve been hanging out with, you should consider that as signs your relationship is about to be over.

7. You can’t picture your future together

You’re not only scared that you might not have a future together, but you also can’t envision how things could be with your partner one, two or ten years from now unless things changed for the better.

Knowing the signs your relationship is about to be over might not be enough to know for certain if it is about to end. You might need to confront your partner but before you do, read our article about questions to ask yourself before ending a relationship.

20 Ways To Avoid Depression and Anxiety

January 9, 2016 by Sarah Barkley

Millions of people worldwide suffer from various mental illnesses, with the most common mental disorders being anxiety and depression. The most comprehensive mental health study about anxiety and depression to date was published in the journal Psychological Medicine and was performed by researchers from the University of Queensland.

After poring over surveys from 91 different countries involving more than 480,000 people, they found that 1 in 13 people globally suffers from anxiety, and 1 in 21 people will have major depression at some point in their life.

Each person responds differently to coping mechanisms and healing techniques when it comes to mental health and mental disorders. Suppose you want to improve your mental health. In that case, you can do a few simple things that have no harmful side effects like pharmaceutical pills do, and work toward fixing the underlying problem instead of covering it up with a temporary fix.

Here are twenty ways to avoid depression and anxiety:

1. Change your diet.

In Western countries, in particular, our diets have been inundated with heavily processed, chemical-laden, nutritionally-lacking “food-like substances.” If you want to experience better mental health, go to the source first.

Once you start feeding your body with nutrient-dense, high-quality foods such as fresh fruits and vegetables, nuts, seeds, and starches, you will notice a significant shift in your mental health.

Refer to our article here if you’d like to read more about the relationship between our gut and our brain.

2. Find hobbies that you genuinely enjoy.

Often, we tend to choose activities that will increase our productivity and benefit our lives in the long term. Productivity and goal-setting have been so ingrained in our culture that allowing ourselves the time to have experiences for our enjoyment seems like a ludicrous idea. Frankly, we work too much and play far too little.

Put yourself first for a change, forget about work for a bit, and do something that makes you feel free. In our search for ways to help people with anxiety and depression, maybe we should look at how much time they allow themselves to have fun instead of just prescribing another pill.

3. Another way to improve your mental health is to set goals.

Contrary to our last point, having some goals can add to your mental wellness. Of course, this needs to be offset by plenty of time for self-care, self-love, and self-expression, but at least some of your time should be spent on what you’d like to accomplish in your life. You don’t have to have some glorious goal in mind, but having something to work towards, even if it’s cutting out watching TV before bed, can improve your mental health.

We all want to feel good, and reaching our goals and facing challenges can help improve our moods.

4. Volunteer for a cause you believe in.

Not to discount anxiety and depression at all, but many people spend so much time focusing on themselves and how they feel that they leave very little time for helping others.

A study performed by researchers at the University of Exeter Medical School in England found that volunteers reported decreased depression, higher levels of satisfaction, and an increase in well-being.

5. Adjust your self-talk.

Many times, we beat ourselves up for no reason. Having positive conversations with yourself can uplift your mood and increase your self-esteem, which will help you have a brighter outlook on yourself and life in general. Try to recite an encouraging mantra each morning to get your day started on the right foot, and repeat positive affirmations to yourself throughout the day to keep the good vibes flowing!

6. Don’t fight your emotions.

Regarding mental health and mental disorders, many sufferers continue to fight their feelings instead of simply allowing them. Don’t stuff your emotions down in an attempt to get rid of them; this will only enhance mental illness. Start treating yourself with compassion, and don’t expect perfection – no one feels 100% balanced and mentally healthy all the time, so don’t expect yourself to.

Healthily express your emotions, whether through talking with someone, journaling, drawing, singing, or whatever means feels right to you.

7. an excellent natural treatment for anxiety and depression is to spend more time outdoors.

Make sure you get enough sunshine. Doctors and mainstream media have told us to fear the sun because it might cause skin cancer. But just as we shouldn’t lay out in the sun all day, so shouldn’t avoid it altogether. In modern times, many people have very little access to the outdoors, leading to a Vitamin D deficiency. Vitamin D helps to regulate our moods and supports other vital bodily functions, so make sure to spend at least 30 minutes a day outdoors to improve your mental health.

8. Work through your fears.

Instead of running from your fears, go in the opposite direction. Take steps each day to overcome your concerns, and once you come face-to-face with them, they won’t seem so scary. To improve our mental health, we need to learn and grow each day actively. Instead of living in fear, live in love and passion. Look at life as an endless learning tool, and it won’t seem so scary anymore. Life provides plenty of opportunities to feel good. We just have to be willing to take them.

9. Make sure to get adequate sleep.

Frequently, a poor sleeping schedule can lead to even worse mental health. Try to get at least 7-8 hours of sleep a night for a natural way to help mental illness.

10. Don’t feel bad for saying no.

Don’t take on more than you can handle; start getting comfortable saying no. No one can do everything that people ask of them, so don’t try. Being a people-pleaser means you regularly put yourself on the back burner, which eventually leads to burnout. Say yes to yourself more, and you will start to see your mental health improve.

11. Avoid Toxic People

Some people make us feel bad about ourselves, even if we can pinpoint the reason. Spending time with people who bully others, put you down, or exhibit other harmful behavior could cause anxiety or depression. Some toxic people will take advantage of you, too.

If you recognize toxic people in your life, make a change right away. Stay away from people who make you feel bad about yourself, take advantage of you, spread rumors, or bad-mouths people.

12. Focus on Healthy Relationships

A support system can make all the difference in your life as it makes you happier. Studies show that social support can protect against depression and promote mental health. After you eliminate toxic people from your life, focus on healthy relationships. Foster the ones that make you feel good about who you are, and you’ll notice an overall improvement in your life.

13. Practice Mindfulness

Practicing mindfulness is one of the best ways to improve your mental health. It improves your mood and reduces stress. You can meditate, take a walk to write about your surroundings, keep a gratitude journal, listen to music, or slow down your breathing.

14. Regularly Exercise

Experts say that regular exercise can help treat and prevent depression. It increases your body’s temperate, calming your central nervous system. Exercise boosts physical and mental health, and it can quickly change your life.

Exercise also releases feel-good chemicals that boost your mood and improve overall mental health. It reduces chemicals associated with depression. Aim for at least 150 minutes of moderate to intense exercise each week, breaking it into small sessions.

Some of the ways you can get more exercise include joining a sports team or exercise studio. You can also take the stairs instead of the elevator or park at the back of a parking lot. The best way to get more exercise is to make it a habit.

15. Seek Professional Help

Talking therapy is a beneficial way to overcome and avoid mental health issues. It helps you discover the root cause of your mental health concerns, allowing you to address them. Therapy can help you grieve, find new ways of acting and thinking, and look into past traumatic experiences.

16. Minimize Daily Choices

Experts say that when faced with too many choices, aiming to make the best ones causes higher rates of anxiety and depression. Each day comes with options, from what outfit you wear to what you eat. However, no matter how small the decisions are, they pile up.

To minimize your daily choices, learn to be decisive more quickly and reduce the number of decisions you’ll have to make. Plan your outfits and meals, and don’t put off other accessible choices.

17. Avoid Stress as Often as Possible

Research shows that people with chronic stress have a higher risk of mental health concerns. Some people are more susceptible to stress, including those with a genetic predisposition. People who experienced neglect or abuse as a child are more likely to become stressed.

18. Limit Social Media Time

Increased social media use can contribute to anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. Social media can be addicting, although it’s a way to stay in contact with friends and family. It’s one of the easiest ways to share big news or plan and invite others to events.

Some of the ways to limit social media use include:

Only logging into social media with a purpose
Avoiding logging in several times a day
Deleting the app from your smartphone
Using extensions that only allow you to use social media for a preset time

19. Think About Your Triggers

Identifying your triggers can help you avoid depression and anxiety. When you know your triggers, you can plan for them or work to prevent them. If you can’t avoid the triggers, you can plan for them by:

Reminding yourself what’s coming and what it’ll involve
Having a friend check in with you during the experience
Make an appointment with a therapist before and after

On the other hand, if you can avoid your triggers, it’s best to do so. Eliminate or reduce exposure to prevent depression. Some avoidable triggers include exposure to news or media, alcohol or drug use, or not getting enough sleep.

20. Reduce the Use of Alcohol, Drugs, and Nicotine

Excessive use of alcohol, drugs, and nicotine is associated with higher risks of anxiety and depression. If it’s hard for you to limit alcohol use during social situations, make a few changes to make it easier.

Consider ordering an appetizer instead of a drink, or choose a location that doesn’t have alcohol. Another option is to ask for juice and not tell anyone it’s a non-alcoholic beverage. The people in your life should accept your decision to refrain, but you don’t have to say it to them right away.

Nicotine can perpetuate anxiety and depression, so it’s best to avoid that. To quit smoking, remind yourself of all the benefits of stopping. Try to find a friend to hold you accountable and quit with you.

If you need help stopping drug use, you can reach out to a professional. You can talk to a therapist for more options or reach out to a National Helpline.

7 Common Anxiety Triggers

Recognizing triggers can help you address them and improve your life. If anxiety seems to consume your daily life, start by figuring out what causes it. Some of the potential causes are common, so look for the following situations.

1. Neglecting Yourself

When you don’t take care of yourself, it can quickly cause mental health issues. You must take care of your personal needs and focus on self-care to live a happy and fulfilling life.

You’re likely perpetuating mental health issues if you don’t shower regularly, continually skip meals, or frequently stay up too late. Make beneficial life changes that promote personal health and happiness.

2. Financial Concerns

Your finances can directly lead to depression and anxiety. Financial concerns happen to everyone, even those who appear to live comfortably. You might be worried about saving money, paying off debt, or paying for an unexpected expense.

Having a financial plan can significantly reduce symptoms. If you can’t plan alone, seek the help of a financial advisor.

3. Regularly Skipping Meals

If you don’t eat regularly, it could cause a blood sugar drop. With low blood sugar, you might become jittery and experience anxiety symptoms.

Eating well-balanced meals is essential as it provides you with energy and nutrients, preventing low blood sugar, nervousness, or agitation. Without regular meals, your mood takes a hit, affecting your mental health.

4. A Messy or Cluttered Home

A messy home can cause depression because it’s a lingering item on your to-do list. You always feel like you must accomplish so many things around the house, causing stress and overwhelm.

Many times, the tasks seem so overwhelming that you avoid them. However, avoiding decluttering and cleaning exacerbates the issue because it keeps pressing. Start tidying up regularly to reduce your anxiety and eliminate one thing from your to-do list.

5. Health Issues and Medications

An upsetting or difficult health diagnosis can trigger or worsen anxiety. It’s a powerful trigger because it produces immediate personal feelings that can be overwhelming.

To avoid this trigger, be proactive with your healthy by attending regular check-ups. Address health concerns early on to prevent worsening conditions. Additionally, talk to a therapist to process your feelings surrounding a diagnosis.

Some prescription and over-the-counter medications can trigger depression, too. The ingredients in these medications can cause you to feel uneasy, setting off events in your body and mind that cause symptoms. Common medicines that trigger anxiety include birth control pills, cough and congestion medications, and weight loss prescriptions.

6. Caffeine

Caffeine can be beneficial in small doses, but anything more can induce anxiety. Sometimes caffeine can even trigger a panic attack. If you notice that caffeine triggers or worsens your symptoms, try cutting back one serving at a time.

Everyone’s tolerance is different, so it’s hard to determine how much you should consume. As you cut back, note how you feel each time, deciding if you need to keep minimizing your intake. You can also try decaffeinated coffee or tea as a replacement.

7. Negative Self-Talk

Your thoughts control how you feel, and negative self-talk can trigger anxiety. If you frequently get upset or frustrated and resort to negative thinking, it’s time to make a change. Learn to refocus and shift your thought process, allowing yourself to eliminate negativity.

Final Thoughts on Living with Anxiety

You can’t eliminate or prevent depression and anxiety, but you can try to make a change. Your lifestyle choices play a role in your mental health, so you must learn to manage symptoms. Once you make it happen, you can prevent a reoccurrence.

It’s beneficial to your overall mental health and well-being when you learn to avoid depression and anxiety. If you can’t avoid it on your own, consider seeking professional help. You deserve to live a happy and fulfilling life, and you can make it happen.

Here’s Why Your Brain Needs You to Read Every Day

January 9, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Do you read every day?

There is little argument that technology has been experiencing a tremendous boom, especially within the last ten years. If you live in a developed (or developing) country, you can often look almost anywhere and find at least one person playing with their mobile toys.

Along with the proliferation of mobile devices comes the debate on whether or not the expanding use of them is advancing collective intellect or dumbing it down. Other research areas focus on whether our ability to focus and sustain attention is dwindling because of our beloved devices. The research (and debate) continues.

Technology aside, one activity that is certainly adding to our intelligence and boosting brainpower is reading. Numerous scientific studies have confirmed (over and over again) that the ability to read is essential to cognitive development, especially at a young age. A fascinating study showed the direct correlation between reading at a young age and healthy cortical development.

Here are ten great reasons you should read every day:

What are the other benefits of reading? Well, let us list the numerous benefits below for you.

“A capacity, and taste, for reading, gives access to whatever has been already discovered by others. It is the key, or one of the keys, to the already solved problems. And not only so. It gives a relish, and facility, for successfully pursuing the yet unsolved ones.” – Abraham Lincoln, 16^th President of the United States

1. Enhanced Intelligence and Knowledge

No real surprise here – when you read, it improves intellect and builds upon your knowledge base. Understandably, many of us underestimate the power (and fun!) of reading when we are young. As we get older, however, we come to realize that books are interesting, with many of them having the magical ability to “transport” us to different places – fantasy or fiction.

It is easy to take for granted that countless amounts of information are available and accessible at our whim. If we’re interested in a topic or engage intellectually with a topic that interests us, we can usually find something that’s been written about it – and read about it.

2. Increased Vocabulary

It is said that vocabulary is the best indicator of intelligence – if this is the case, #1 certainly makes sense! Anyways, when you listen to someone and are unsure of a word they’ve used, it can be frustrating to continue the conversation. Further, it can be somewhat embarrassing to ask what a particular word means in the middle of a conversation. Deciding to read instead of watching TV is a fantastic way to expand your vocab which, in turn, enhances communication ability.

3. Articulacy

With a more expansive vocabulary, one becomes more articulate as well. Most of us are aware of the way that we speak to others. We want to sound reasonably bright and knowledgeable when we communicate with those around us. Further, articulating and using language well is a potent and influential tool to those around us. When you read more and more, your brain has the magnificent ability to (often subconsciously) remember words and expressions that can enhance the ability to express yourself.

4. More Concentration

Perhaps more than anything else out there, reading books sharpens your concentration ability. To be able to follow a storyline one page at a time requires mental staying power. Please make no mistake about it. Concentration is a direct byproduct of willpower; when you increase your innate ability to concentrate, you increase willpower. In this way, reading books regularly can improve many different areas of your life – work, school, and even social engagements.

5. Heightened creativity and imagination

As reading increases mental flexibility, heightened creativity and imagination are often a direct result. Many types of writing – poems, novels, short stories, etc. – require us to picture people, places, and things in our mind’s eye. As such, we can enhance our brain’s remarkable ability to create and imagine. When we are more imaginative and creative, we often produce work and other things that are more innovative and interesting.

6. Sharper Critical thinking

Reading is an excellent way to increase our ability to analyze and assess information. Books often contain particular information that, if missed, can result in missing a key point of information. The ability to analyze data and make educated assessments based upon that information is an essential function of our daily lives. We can thank reading for improving these critical skills.

7. Mental Health

Most of us are quite conscious about our physical health. We (at least somewhat) watch what we put into our bodies and make an attempt to get some physical activity. Well, just as the body requires physical exertion to stay fit, the mind does as well. Some research has also shown that regular readers not only improve their cognitive ability but also may be better protected against ailments such as Alzheimer’s disease and dementia.

8. Relaxation

Yes, reading can bring some much-needed stimulation to your brain, but it can also help you wind down. This is especially true of tranquil and spiritual texts such as the Bible, Quran, and other scripture. Self-help books and other inspirational materials can help bring about a sense of peace.

9. Expands your Worldview

Without sounding too harsh, so many people have such limited perspectives on the world around us. These people are so wrapped up in their little world that they forget a nearly limitless one out there to be discovered. Reading is powerful in the sense that it can engage us with other peoples, cultures, ideologies, religious and spiritual beliefs, politics, etc., without ever booking a flight. In our opinion, it is important to be engaged with the world around you, and reading provides that opportunity.

10. Personal enrichment and accomplishment

Education does not end with a degree or diploma. Instead, it is a lifelong journey that is immeasurably valuable, perhaps more so than anything else that’s existed. In many ways, a free book is more educational than a six-figure degree. How would we ever intimately know the world around us or ourselves without the innate curiosity to learn? Reading is a terrific way to satiate this curiosity and experience tremendous personal growth in the process.

Reading is important. Get kids started early with this reading program for kids (learn more here)

Here’s Why You’re Not Married Yet

January 8, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Marriage isn’t for everybody. At this point, you’ve probably attended multiple wedding ceremonies, and maybe you’ve even been a bridesmaid or groomsman. However, if you’re still waiting to tie the knot with someone, you might wonder why you are not married.

Watching your friends get married can inspire thoughts of the same possibility for yourself. If you remain unmarried right now, here are eleven possible reasons why you chose to stay single.

Here are eleven of the most common reasons why you are not married yet:

Look no further than the following behaviors for a perfect explanation.

1. You’re not married because you need to work on yourself first

It isn’t easy to give your all to someone when you are still working in progress yourself. In a survey of young adults, marriage readiness was viewed as a 2 step process. First, there is a shift from being cared for by others to taking care of oneself. Secondly, there is a transition from self-care to caring for others.

These findings suggest can easily explain why you’re not married:

You still need to learn to have meaningful relationships
You’re just beginning to understand life-long commitments
You are learning to care for others, so you might not believe you’re ready for marriage.

2. You’re still clinging to an old flame

If you have hopes of rekindling things with someone who you haven’t let go of, that could be why you’re not married yet. If you aren’t ready to move on, you aren’t ready to be married yet, either. How can you hope to find Mr. or Mrs. Right when Mr. or Mrs. Might-Have-Been is still on your heart and mind?

3. You’re not ready to commit

You enjoy dating, meeting many new people and having fun. Why choose just one? Deciding to prepare for settling down in marriage is sometimes a case of how soon you think you will be making a move to marry.

In a study of young adults, those who perceived that they were fast approaching marriage age were less likely to have patterns of alcohol or substance use, were less sexually permissive, and were more likely to be developing strong family values. These results suggest that people will sow their wild oats as long as they can before getting ready for marriage, which might explain why you’re not married yet.

If you’re having fun in various bedrooms, then marrying might not be your idea of fun, and could be why you’re not married. Casual sex can be enjoyable, but it is not likely to lead to marriage anytime soon. As you grow as a person, you might decide to settle down with one partner–that’s your personal choice.

4. You’re not married because you don’t want to get married

There is no rule saying that you have to get married. You may feel pressure or an expectation to, but there is no reason that you should get married just for those reasons. You may have decided that marriage isn’t the best thing for you at this point in your life, and that’s perfectly fine, hence why you’re not married.

5. You’re stuck on the social conventions or parental expectations

Your parents would disapprove of the person you are with, and their opinion matters to you, so this might explain why you’re still single. Or perhaps you want to find someone who has the same faith or cultural background as you do. Some cultures still have arranged marriages, so you may decide to keep to that tradition if it is essential to you.

6. You’re not married because you don’t believe in marriage

You feel like marriage is an outdated custom that you don’t feel any pressure to follow. Marriage doesn’t have to be the endpoint of a stable, committed relationship. Other people expect marriage to be the outcome of love, but you don’t have to accept their expectations.

7. You’re too cynical

Marriages end in divorce so often that you aren’t sure that it wouldn’t happen to you. Currently, approximately 53% of marriages end in divorce, and in America, it is estimated that divorce occurs once every 36 seconds.

Divorce rates are higher for those whose parents are divorced and those who have been previously married. The odds are against you, and some people choose not to play at all, which may explain why you’re still single.

8. You’re not married because you don’t know how to compromise

Maybe you love having things the way you like them and can’t imagine setting aside anything to make room for another person. However, your inability to find a middle ground could be why you stay unmarried.

If you are selfish or quickly become angered at others when you can’t have things your way, you aren’t ready to be half of a union. Marriage requires both partners to compromise and work together cooperatively. You can read more about the signs that you might have an anger problem here.

9. You have options

Another reason why you remain single is that thanks to the increase in civil unions and domestic partnership options. So you don’t believe that marriage is only one of many options available to you. After all, marriage is a legal contract. So you want to make sure that you are taking care of your best interests.

10. You’re not married because you haven’t found the right person yet

You definitely shouldn’t rush to marry if you think your partner is not the one you want to spend forever with. Maybe it’s not that you’re not too picky, you’re just selective enough, but you haven’t found someone who checks all of your boxes yet. If you’re unsure about your current relationship, you can read our article about 10 Signs Your Relationship is Wrong For You.

11. You can’t afford it

Another reason why you’re not married is that a wedding ceremony is a major economic hurdle for a couple to face. In fact, this expense can drain your finances at a time that should be a starting point in their commitment to each other. Spending tens of thousands of dollars on a party that lasts less than one day ends up putting couples in debt before they’ve even tied the knot. Bringing debt to a marriage is a significant source of stress for a young couple.

7 Ways to Overcome Your Biggest Fears

January 8, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Nothing scares people more than their biggest fears and phobias. Why? Because it only exists within the mind, and most of us would rather avoid conquering that beast than try taming it. We make fear real by focusing so much on those fears that manifest before us.

If you have been searching for ways to overcome your biggest fears, but have fallen short on ideas, don’t worry. We have discovered some of the most effective ways to combat fear and put it to rest.

Here are 7 ways to overcome your biggest fears:

“Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.” – Les Brown

1. Challenge your fears anyway.

In talking about ways to overcome your biggest fears, perhaps the most prominent and straightforward method of tackling them is by marching straight into them. Why should you allow your thoughts to dictate what you will and will not do in life? Don’t become a slave to your thoughts; master them instead. Challenge the negative ones and say “Hey, you don’t get to boss me around. I understand you feel afraid, but it’s okay. You’re safe.” Your ego loves to run the show, but to overcome your biggest fears, you can’t allow it take center stage.

You can’t grow in life unless you learn to power through your fears despite how very real they might seem.

2. Focus on other things besides what you’re afraid of.

How many times do we fixate on our thoughts until we feel paralyzed by them? Probably far too often. If you have too much time on your hands, your mind will need something to keep it busy. And unfortunately, the mind just loves to worry, and plan, and analyze. It loves to solve problems, and sometimes it gets carried away and tries to solve problems that don’t even exist yet. You see, fear doesn’t yet exist, until we make it real by obsessing over the thought of the fear itself. When thinking of ways to overcome your biggest fears, try to remember that what you give the most energy to will inevitably manifest.

So, by focusing on compassion, love, and positive things about your life, you will start to see more of that showing up.

3. Practice meditation.

Perhaps one of the best ways to overcome your biggest fears is through the peaceful practice of meditation. Meditation allows you to slowly sink into a deep space of relaxation, surrendering to the present moment and dispelling fear. Many studies have shown how meditation can reduce anxiety and everyday stress by detaching us from our thoughts temporarily, and stripping away all of the identities we have gained through our thoughts and feelings. In other words, meditation allows everything that isn’t us to melt away, leaving behind our true selves.

If you have desperately been seeking ways to overcome fear, search nowhere else but within for the answers.

4. Try to think about the positives of facing down your fears.

Instead of thinking of fear in a negative light, try to see the bright side of it. Fear gives us a challenge, a character-building opportunity. Also, focus on how you will feel after facing your fears. The feeling of liberation, exhilaration, and strength you will feel afterward should make standing up to your fears worth it in the end. Start training the mind to focus on how you want to feel rather than how you do feel in the moment, and your fears will start to transform into excitement.

5. Forgive yourself.

If you suffer from anxiety, chronic stress, or just occasional bouts of excessive worrying, stop beating yourself up. This will only perpetuate the cycle you have put yourself in of feeling fear, getting mad at yourself for feeling that way, and therefore attracting more of what you don’t want. The path to freedom lies in forgiveness and understanding, so when you think of ways to overcome your biggest fears, remember to treat yourself kindly.

Fear will only keep showing up until you can apologize to yourself, and simply allow your feelings to move through you rather than constantly fighting them.

6. Express gratitude.

Most people feel fear because they have moved their attention away from what they already have to begin with. Fear stems from a discomfort of the unknown, but gratitude begins with focusing on what you’ve been blessed with already. Ways to overcome your biggest fears include expressing gratitude for what you have and what you have yet to experience. Feel grateful for your fear, and then you can start cracking through the resistance you’ve built against new experiences, people, and places.

7. Start with the basics: diet, sleep, and exercise.

Fear and anxiety are pretty much synonymous. At the heart of anxiety, lies a fear of something seemingly out of one’s control. However, have you been paying attention to what you can control? You get to decide what to put in your body, what type of exercise you do, and how much sleep you will get. All of these factors can greatly affect your mental health. Research has shown that sleep deprivation can actually cause anxiety disorders, and many studies have linked poor gut bacteria caused by diet to higher stress and anxiety levels. Lack of exercise also contributes to built up tension in the mind and body, therefore leading to anxiety.

If you want to get to the heart of ways to overcome your biggest fears, start with the essentials of feeling healthy and balanced.

6 Signs You’re In A Relationship With Your Soulmate

January 8, 2016 by Power of Positivity

Are you a hopeless romantic to believe in finding a soulmate, or does that make you a hopeful romantic? You have a yearning for finding your soulmate, that one person who will complete you, even if you haven’t yet met them. In some cases, you might have even met them already, but just need some signs you’ve found your twin flame.

We usually think of hopelessly romantic movies when we think about finding the perfect love. In fact, movies help us define our romantic ideals. In one study, researchers found that watching romantic movies significantly predicted that a person believed in a perfect mate for everyone. People who watched romantic comedies reported stronger beliefs in an ideal romantic partner than those who did not.

Another study showed that believing that one’s life partner was Mr. or Mrs. Right was associated with having a happier relationship. When participants’ beliefs about their relationships were challenged by the researchers, those who believed that their partner was their soulmate were more likely to express a relationship protecting thoughts than others.

If you are wondering if your life partner and you are kindred spirits who were meant to be, here are some signs that you’re right for each other alongside some of our favorite soulmate quotes.

6 SIGNS YOU’VE FOUND YOUR SOULMATE

1. YOU’LL NEVER BE THE SAME PERSON YOU WERE BEFORE YOU MET YOUR SOULMATE

“A true soulmate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake.” – Eat, Pray, Love

You experienced a major change in your identity when you met your partner. Maybe it was meeting the soulmate that inspired you to change. On the other hand, maybe you made a decision to be different because of them.

You used to have casual partners but that’s in the past now. You used to go out all night with your friends but you haven’t done that since finding your soulmate. Or perhaps you used to believe that you’d never change for someone, but now you can see why others become different when they’ve met their One.

2. YOUR SOULMATE MAKES YOU A BETTER PERSON

“You make me want to be a better man.” – As Good As It Gets

Among the other signs you’ve found your soulmate is that they challenge you to continuously improve yourself and the world around you. You both want the same things in life and you have inspiring, exciting plans for how you will contribute to future generations.

This doesn’t mean that your other half should always be a “better person” than you, rather than you both share core values that you help each other to achieve. Additionally, you share a mutual feeling that you constantly want to be and do better for the other person.

3. YOUR CONNECTION TO YOUR SOULMATE IS MORE THAN PHYSICAL

“You’re everything I never knew I always wanted” – Fools Rush In

When you think of your ideal partner, the one you have no problem calling “my soulmate,” you feel overwhelming love for them flowing through your own soul. You feel so full of love and joy that you have to express your feelings before they burst out of you. You have a soul connection, connecting with them on an intimate level that has little to do with sex, one of the surefire signs you’ve found your soulmate.

The sex is great, of course, because you respect each other and you can sense your soulmate’s needs. But beyond that, you are joined mentally and can share spiritually in deep, meaningful ways. Read our article on 5 Signs You’re in a Spiritually Intimate Relationship to learn more about these connections and find out more about soulmate relationship signs.

4. BEING APART ONLY MAKES THE REUNION BETTER

“I think I’d miss you even if we’d never met.” – The Wedding Date

Separation is not a problem for either of you. You trust each other to not stray out of the boundaries of the relationship while you’re apart, another one of the obvious signs you’ve found your soulmate. While time apart can be difficult for many soulmates, when you are experiencing true love, you may also appreciate the old adage that “absence makes the heart grow fonder.”

You also know that the pain and loneliness, while you’re apart, will only make you happier to see your soulmate again. Your reunion will make sparks fly because upon finding your soulmate, the world forever changed.

5. YOU FEEL LIKE YOU KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT EACH OTHER

“What’s a soulmate?… It’s one person who knew you, accepted you and believed in you before anyone else did or when no one else would.” – Dawson’s Creek

Upon meeting your soulmate, it was as if you had known each other before. There was something familiar, and every thought you had about how to find your soulmate melted away when you saw the comfort and safety of home in their eyes. If you had a menu of the traits that you would ask for in a mate, you couldn’t have asked for more.

When one soul finds its match, the soul connection can feel so unreal that you wonder if you had a past life together and were reborn again to find each other once more. The fates must have aligned to bring you a love that was right for you, a surefire sign you’ve found your soulmate once again.

6. YOU MAKE A POWER COUPLE

“I want all of you, forever, you and me every day.” – The Notebook

Another one of the signs you’ve found your soulmate is that you are stronger with them than apart, and the two of you could conquer the world if you wanted to. Think of other inspiring power couples that you see in business, Hollywood, and politics. That’s you and the one you call “my soulmate.”

FINAL THOUGHTS ON RECOGNIZING YOUR SOULMATE

You can sense that you have an impact on others just by the display of intimate connection that you exude when you are in public. Your friends want to know where to find a soulmate like yours, and if your partner has a brother or sister who is single. They want what you’ve got, and why wouldn’t they? Finding a soulmate is a rare occurrence, but it feels like coming home, and that’s what everyone wants.

These are just a few of the signs that you may have already found your soulmate. And if you are yet to meet that special someone — don’t worry. Because like in any romantic comedy, they could be right around the corner! And when you do meet them, pay attention to these special signs that you may have found more than just a regular relationship. Because perhaps, then, you’ve found your one true soul connection.

The truth is, beyond love languages and soul connections, setting aside any implicit theories about what does and doesn’t make a true “soulmate,” the most important things in a relationship are happiness, communication, and perhaps a little bit of hard work. So take some time to enjoy your romantic movies and deep connections, but don’t forget to stay rooted in reality. Because you never know. Perhaps your one true soulmate was someone you knew all along.

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