7 Things You Need To Learn About Your Temper

December 28, 2015 by Power of Positivity

A temper is something in all of us that is at the heart of much of the negative energy that we have seen in our history, both recent and ancient. Anger is a very natural feeling, but how we behave in response is what can get out of our control. The following are important facts about your temper that everyone should keep in mind.

7 Things You Need to Learn About Your Temper

1. You are still learning how to be angry

You observe how other people respond to frustration all the time. When someone throws the remote at the TV in anger, you make a judgment that you don’t want to act that way. You see someone else who is frustrated with an incompetent clerk at the store. They are clearly frustrated but their response is to sigh heavily, tell the clerk to take their time so that they get it right and then they turn and apologize to the people in line behind them. You know which response you’d prefer to have yourself and you make that choice.

By seeing others in stressful situations, we select our behavior role models and try to follow in their footsteps. We tell ourselves that next time we get angry we will try a deep breath first.

2. You are still angry about your childhood

Your parents treated you differently from your siblings. One of your parents wasn’t there for you when you needed them. Your parents fought too much. Almost all of us can identify with one or more of these statements because these are inevitable parts of growing up.

If someone let you down and you were unable to stand up for yourself as a child, you might still be feeling resentful about it, even to this day. If you lived with siblings, you always felt that your parents liked them best and you were angry about it. You wish that your dad or mom was there more often when you needed them and you are still angry that thy weren’t.

Have a chat with yourself and ask what you’re still upset about from your childhood. Work through those issues on your own, with your parents, or find a licensed therapist to talk to about your lingering anger.

3. Managing your anger can help you succeed

Successful people are the picture of grace under pressure. That stereotype is one that hiring managers are looking for. In fact, they will almost always ask you in an interview about a time when you faced a lot of pressure and how you responded in a time of crisis.

How you appear outwardly when you are under pressure can say a lot about how you are perceived by those who might promote you. If you can never let them see you sweat, you’ll go farther than if you do.

4. The health of your relationships is at stake

A major cause of broken romantic relationships is the anger of one partner over the behavior of the other. Expressing anger rather than hurt feelings can mean that the relationship is doomed. Expressing hurt communicates to your partner that you acknowledge what they said but that you took it personally whereas expressing anger blames them for your hurt feelings. In a study of positive versus negative patterns of emotional expression in childhood and teenage years, researchers could predict subjects’ success in future romantic relationships. Those who had a negative pattern of emotional expression with anger had more conflict in their relationships.

5. Others can sense your anger

We have evolved to have the ability to sense anger as a strategy to protect ourselves from harm. This makes sense when you are faced with an angry bear coming at you, but we have also adapted to learn to detect anger in human speech.

Your voice conveys anger to others whether you know it or not. A Swedish study found that anger can be recognized 83% of the time from speech intonation, even if angry words are not used. The research is being used to develop a voice recognition tool to help telephone call centers to get irate customers helped faster.

6. Your temper is a killer

Rapid heartbeat, high blood pressure, increased cortisol hormone levels, and muscle tension are the physiological signs of anger. They are also the signs of stress and we know that living in a state of chronic stress leads to heart disease and other illnesses.

Not only that, intense anger that is out of control can lead to violent outbursts that cause people to kill each other. If you are concerned about violent thoughts that may lead you to violent actions, please contact a Crisis Counselor.

7. You can learn a lot from your anger

When you notice that you are angry, ask yourself, ‘Why am I angry?’ This will help you get to the root cause of your anger and you can learn about how to manage your temper better.

You can also learn to not be angry. When something happens that provokes your temper, you can chose not to get angry. You can choose to slow your breathing, relax your physical body and change your thoughts to reframe the event. Instead of taking it as a personal attack, try thinking of it as that person feeling tired and lashing out at you.

What You Can Tell About Someone’s Personality In 10 Seconds

December 27, 2015 by Power of Positivity

They say that you can’t judge a book by its’ cover, but first impressions are often lasting impressions. Making a quick judgment of someone’s personality is something that we do subconsciously when we first meet someone.

Whether we are looking to date someone, hire someone, or partner with them, we need to know if we can rely on them. So we must see if they are compatible with our own personality. Further, we need to determine if we click with them.

Our perceptions of others sway our decisions about how to treat them. We do this with everything from making a decision about who to vote for in the election or whether to accept a date from someone. Although making a snap judgment about someone or having someone do that to you may seem unfair, it happens.

Sometimes even evidence to the contrary cannot sway our initial impression of a person. Imagine this. You see a tatted woman riding a motorcycle. You presume she’s rough and tumble. However, you strike up a conversation and learn she’s the CEO of a non-profit dog rescue agency. Would you change your first impression now that you have more information? Or is your first impression too strong to change?

What You Can Tell About Someone’s Personality in 10 Seconds

1. Trustworthiness

As part of our human evolution, we learn quickly to judge trustworthiness in order to protect ourselves from harm. In the first 10 seconds, people believe that they can get a gut feeling for whether or not they should trust someone. You can read more about how to tell if you are being lied to here.

2. Attraction

In a culture of speed dating and swiping right, we can most easily tell if we are initially physically attracted to someone based on their appearance. You probably know your type and if you’re set on a brunette, then blondes just won’t do it for you. We tend to be attracted to people who are similar to us, so we look for similar traits in our potential mates and tend to rate them as more attractive if they are more like us.

Sexual orientation is also something that we think we can determine based on appearance, and according to one researcher, we can. People who were allowed to view photos for less than a second were accurate at guessing sexual orientation 60% of the time, even when those photos had no makeup, piercings, hairstyles, glasses or tattoos.

In a study of speed dating, women initially said that they were looking for someone with a good earning potential while men chose attractiveness as their preferred trait. However, these traits were not what the daters actually ended up selecting in their eventual romantic partners. What we think we want in our mate may not be the deciding factor for us.

3. Extroversion

Is the person you are meeting an outgoing personality, or are they shy? This personality trait is fairly easy to determine in the first ten seconds. Indeed, we learn someone’s social intelligence from these cues:

Body language
Eye contact
An excitement in their voice
Animated facial expressions
Hand gestures

4. Neuroticism

Germophobic behavior like avoiding a handshake, fidgeting, personal hygiene, and some repetitive habits like nail biting are things we can also tell about someone in a short amount of time. We may assume someone behaving this way is anxious, even if the reason for the fear is not obvious to us.

5. Competence

Researcher Alexander Todorov studied people’s responses to faces and found that subjects perceived photos of people with thin lips and wrinkles at the eye corners as distinguished, intelligent, and determined. Photos of people who were baby-faced were judged to be physically weak, naive, and submissive, although they also thought they were honest, kind, and warm.

In another study about how voters choose candidates based on appearance, participants were asked to rate photos of congressional candidates for how competent they looked. The study participants selected the candidate who turned out to have won for 71.6 percent of the Senate races and 66.8 percent of the House races based only on how competent-looking they thought they were.

6. Openness

Body language is easy to tell if someone is open in a 10-second initial meeting. If they are receptive to you, their feet should both be pointing toward you, arms relaxed, shoulders back, and their head should be up, and they will make eye contact with happy facial expressions.

When someone is not receptive to you, their body language will be more turned inward. Their shoulders round forward, they cross their arms, they avoid eye contact and their facial expression seems more disagreeable.

According to Nicholas Rule, a researcher who presented his findings at the annual conference of the Society for Personality and Social Psychology, “Not only should people not assume that others will be able to overcome aspects of their appearance when evaluating them, but also those of us on the other end should be actively working to consider that our impressions of others are biased.”

15 Signs You Have A Candida Infection

December 27, 2015 by Power of Positivity

“Know the signs I have a candida infection? What the heck is that?!” At least a few of you out there just uttered a similar phrase.

Definition of a Candida (yeast) Infection

Candida (fungus): Candida is a genus of yeasts and is the most common cause of fungal infection worldwide. Many species are harmless commensals or endosymbionts of hosts, including humans; however, when mucosal barriers are disrupted, or the immune system is compromised they can invade and cause disease. (Wikipedia, 2015)

Anytime we hear “fungus” we start to gag just a bit, but candida is an essential human ally. Candida aids digestions and assists with nutrient absorption – two significant functions. The problem starts when the fungi overproduce, causing the breakdown of the intestines and entering the bloodstream, releasing toxic byproducts, and generating “leaky gut”.

Candida infection is strangely unique in the sense that it can cause a variety of health issues, including:

Bad breath
Brain fog
Craving sugar
Depression
Hormonal imbalance
Fatigue and exhaustion
Loss of sex drive
Weak immune system
Urinary Tract Infection

For something that doesn’t generate much press, candida can cause problems! So, how do these problems start?

Causes of an Overgrowth of Yeast

Typically, there are enough healthy bacteria in our gut to regulate candida levels; however, some actions can cause irregular candida presence, including:

Heavy consumption of alcohol
Eating a diet high in carbohydrates and sugar
Eating a diet high in fermented foods such as sauerkraut and pickles
Taking antibiotics that effectively kill off the healthy bacteria
Having a high-stress lifestyle
Taking oral contraceptives

Please note that this is not an exhaustive list. Further, many individuals who do these things never have candida problems. However, these are known instigators of candida infections and overgrowth.

While typically a difficult condition to diagnose, a few symptoms could mean a candida infection.

Here are fifteen signs you might have a candida infection:

1. Intestinal discomfort

As the primary habitat of candida, the pain often originates in the gut. Consistent burping, bloating, constipation, diarrhea, and flatulence are all symptoms of a candida infection. This happens because the yeast overtakes the healthy bacteria in the gut, resulting in infection. When the candida infection is treated, people often experience dramatic relief from these symptoms.

2. Brain fog

A somewhat ambiguous term, brain fog is a blanket term meaning constant feelings of fatigue, distraction, and moodiness. Our commercialized and busy world has made brain fog quite common. There are also dietary reasons for the disorder, such as processed foods and factory-farmed meats. Candida overgrowth and infection can also cause mental symptoms. Some signs include lack of focus, poor coordination, difficulty concentrating, and poor memory.

3. Sinus infections

Similar to many other candida symptoms, sinus infections are common, making it challenging to discover the source of the problem. Candida generally causes consistent sinus problems such as the runny nose, persistent cough, post-nasal drip, and increasing congestion. The consistency of sinus infections – especially for people with no known allergies – can pinpoint candida as the culprit.

4. Chronic fatigue

Chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS) is an abnormality characterized by constant feelings of fatigue or exhaustion that lasts over a period of six months. The disorder is known to produce other symptoms as well, including difficulty concentrating, headaches, joint pain, memory problems, and sore throat. Candida infections increase the likelihood of someone developing CFS.

5. Hormonal imbalance

Candida infection can cause early menopause, low sex drive, migraines, water retention, mood swings, weight gain, and endometriosis. Inflammation is also a widespread symptom; this causes the yeast to become larger and expand outside the digestive tract. Candida overgrowth also produces a byproduct that resembles estrogen, which can lead to a more severe imbalance of hormones.

6. Repeated vaginal and urinary tract infections

Candida may be the root cause of the vagina or urinary tract cyclical infections. The fungi can be transmitted sexually and passed between partners. Women can decrease the odds of contracting candida by taking specific actions, such as not wearing tightly-fitting underwear/pantyhose and avoiding hot baths during a yeast infection.

7. Skin and/or nail infections

Toenail fungus and athlete’s foot are two common types of yeast infection, which can originate from a strain of candida. Continuous infections may be a sign of a candida infection, especially if coupled with any other symptom of candida infection.

Something frustrating about the symptoms on this list is that all of them can be caused by something other than a candida infection.

8. Inflammatory bowel diseases

Studies show that high levels of candida are often found in your gut if you have an inflammatory bowel disease such as ulcers, Crohn’s disease, and ulcerative colitis. Conventional treatments for these diseases include antibiotics and steroids, which ease the conditions but provide the perfect environment for candida to grow. As the candida increases in your gut, it slows the healing process down. This frustrating cycle makes it difficult to heal your inflammatory bowel disease and rid your body of candida.

9. Psoriasis

The most common type of psoriasis produces itchy, red bumps that get sore and infected when scratched. Psoriasis often appears on your lower back, scalp, elbows, or knees. If you have psoriasis, there’s a good chance you will develop candida. Studies found that candida intensifies the spread of psoriasis, causing outbreaks and infection in your skin, mouth, or gastrointestinal tract. If you have psoriasis, there’s a good chance of candida in your saliva and feces. There may not be an apparent connection between how bad your psoriasis is compared to the amount of candida present in your saliva or feces, but candida does trigger psoriasis. The best treatment is antifungal to ease your symptoms of psoriasis and reduce candida growth.

10. Pain during intercourse

Sexually active individuals who participate in what researchers call oro-genital sex are more likely to test positive for candida. Pain during intercourse was linked to the growing candida and repeated incidents of candida. Be sure to talk to your doctor if you have pain during intercourse to eliminate other diseases that cause the same symptoms.

11. Pain when urinating

Urinary tract pain is often associated with a urinary tract infection. Candida is the most common cause of fungal urinary tract infections. Studies show that today there is an increasing number of antifungal Candida species on the rise. Here are some other symptoms of excessive candida in your urinary tract include

Burning as well as pain when you urinate
You need to urinate often
Dark-colored or cloudy looking urine
Bad smelling urine
Pain in your pelvic region

12. Thrush-local mucosal infections

When candida is in your mouth, you may get thrush. Thrush causes white bumps on the tongue or inside your mouth, throat or tonsils. It can cause bleeding or soreness on your tongue or mouth. Poor hygiene in your mouth or wearing dentures makes you more susceptible to thrush.

At first, your dentist may think you have periodontal disease, but it could be candida, which often masks itself as this disease. If you take anti-inflammatory steroids or are on a lot of antibiotics, you may be prone to oral candida issues.

13. Chronic sore throat

Candida in your mouth or throat often causes pain in your mouth or even your throat. A persistent sore throat could indicate you have some candida growing in your mouth. Your throat may hurt so badly that you have a hard time swallowing. If your sore throat persists, visit your doctor so that he or she can test your throat to see if candida is present.

14. Joint pain

One surprising sign that you have candida is joint pain. Candida left untreated or released into your bloodstream after surgery may result in Candida arthritis causing pain, swelling, and stiffness in your joints. Your hips, legs, and knees are often affected by Candida arthritis. Researchers are still trying to understand precisely how candida causes painful bone infections that sometimes occur for patients with candida arthritis.

15. Halitosis

Researchers found that patients who often complain of constant halitosis have candida on the tongue. Steady bad breath should be tested for candida in your mouth. Although other things can cause persistent bad breath, it’s always good to eliminate the possibility of a candida infection.

Bonus: Less frequent signs of a candida infection

Here are some of the less frequent symptoms you may have a candida infection.

Stomach pain
Allergies
Feeling anxious all the time
Autoimmune disease such as thyroid problems
Burping or bloated feelings in your stomach
Constipation
Depression
Diarrhea
Endometriosis
Gas
Impotence
Infertility
Insomnia
Low libido
Muscle weakness

If you struggle with any of these conditions and your doctor hasn’t been able to find a cause, you may want to visit a holistic doctor who is more familiar with testing for candida. Many people suffer from candida symptoms for years before getting to the root cause of a candida infection.

How to Get a Diagnosis for Your Candida Infection

If you want your doctor to check for candida infection, there are three options: a blood test, stool test, or a urine Organix dysbiosis test. Dr. Amy Myers, a world-renowned functional medicine physician, gives specific advice on each.

– You want to check for IgG, IgA, and IgM candida anti-bodies for the blood test. Elevated levels of any one of these can mean candida overgrowth. The drawback is that this test can often be negative, while the stool or urine test is positive.

– Stool testing is the most accurate, checking for candida in both the colon and lower intestines. In addition, the lab can usually identify the species of yeast. The most effective treatment can also be ascertained from this test.

– The Urine Organix Dysbiosis test checks for a waste product of candida called D-Arabinitol. Elevated levels often mean candida overgrowth.

Natural Tips on Dealing With a Candida Infection

Here are some dietary guidelines to help you combat yeast overgrowth.

Healthy diet

You should eat a healthy diet to fight candida infections. Certain foods tend to elevate your blood sugar, making you more susceptible to candida infections. Eliminating these foods from your diet helps your body fight off the candida infection and makes you less prone to them. These foods make you less resistant to candida.

White rice: White rice has no fiber. It causes blood sugar to spike. Instead, eat brown rice that is packed with fiber and minerals.
White bread: Like white rice, white bread has little fiber. It’s made with refined flour that gets digested very quickly in the body. Choose whole-grain bread for good fiber, B vitamins, and niacin.
Sugary drinks: Juices, soda, or seltzers filled with fructose sets you up for candida infections and growth. Choose water or clear seltzers without sugar or artificial sweeteners, which aren’t that healthy.
Fatty meats: High-fat meats aren’t as healthy as lean, low-fat fish or chicken. Eat a healthy diet. It boosts your immune system and helps you fight off candida infections.
Fast food: High in fat, sodium, and sugar, fast foods aren’t an excellent choice to fight off candida infections.

A healthy diet should be full of healthy proteins, greens, and whole grains. These foods level out your blood sugar, so it doesn’t spike and allow yeast or candida to multiply.

Yogurt

Yogurt is packed with healthy bacteria culture. It helps your gut have the right balance of good flora to help fight off candida. It’s a natural probiotic that regulates your gastrointestinal system and vaginal systems. Eat yogurt that is low in fat and sugar. Plain Greek yogurts are best. Add fresh blueberries and nuts for extra flavor and crunchiness.

Eliminate alcohol

Alcohol a large amount of sugar that feeds candida. If you drink a lot of wine or beer, there’s a good chance they have a candida infection. Even vodka and gin contain alcohol, so it’s best to stop drinking alcohol, so allow the body to heal completely from the candida infection. If you’re prone to them, you should limit themselves to one drink only occasionally so you won’t get another infection.

Apple cider vinegar

A recent study found that ACV, apple cider vinegar, kills candida. A woman with extensive vaginal candida didn’t respond to the standard treatments. Hence, doctors put apple cider vinegar on the affected area and wholly cured the woman of candida. This is promising news for treatment since many treatments fail to remove the candida altogether. Note: don’t try this without checking with your physician first!

Fermented foods

Studies found that fermented foods are healthy for the gut. Probiotics are bacteria that cause the fermentation process in foods. This means that fermented food and probiotics are interconnected and have similar effects on your body’s building up good gut bacteria.

Editorial Note: The connection between eating fermented foods is ongoing and complex. Some doctors insist they are helpful; while others believe it can worsen a yeast infection (as noted on the “causes” list.) The bottom line, here, is to check with your doctor so you can explore all your options.

Tea tree oil

Studies on tea tree oil found that this essential oil works as an antiseptic. It kills bacteria, viruses, and fungal infections, including yeast. Researchers found tea tree oil effectively killed candida. Of course, don’t use it orally or vaginally without a holistic doctor’s advice. Always dilute tea tree oil in jojoba or olive oil before using it on your skin.

Garlic

Garlic has antifungal properties. It contains allicin, a sulfur-based compound that can fight candida.

Roasted garlic recipe

Pull off the papers of the garlic head. Cut off the top. Drizzle a little olive oil over the garlic. Sprinkle with kosher salt. Wrap in a piece of aluminum foil and roast in the oven for 35 to 40 minutes in a 400-degree oven. The garlic is thoroughly roasted once the cloves are tender all the way through. Allow the garlic to cool, then press out each clove to remove the garlic. You can add the freshly roasted garlic to recipes or freeze it for later use.

Cinnamon

This familiar spice has antifungal properties as well as anti-inflammatory properties. Sprinkle cinnamon in your hot drinks or your bowl of oatmeal for extra help to fight and prevent candida growth.

Ginger

Ginger is another warm, pungent spice that possesses powerful antifungal properties. It’s also excellent support for the liver and helps ease the gut.

Final Thoughts on Coping with Candida Infections

Chronic candida infections are painful and uncomfortable. If you suffer from them, you are desperate to find a way to heal the burn and prevent further infections. Fortunately, there are many natural ways for you to deal with a candida infection. Get the diagnosis you need from your doctor. Then, take charge of your yeast overgrowth through a better-balanced diet and healthy lifestyle changes.

What Does Your Favorite Music Reveal About Your Personality?

December 27, 2015 by Power of Positivity

A world without music seems almost unfathomable. We rely on music to help us express and understand our emotions; we get lost in music when nothing else seems to make sense. We allow it to transport us to another place, another time, another plane of understanding. I’m sure you can think back to a hard time in your life and remember that music, in part, helped you to get through it.

Music plays an undeniably pivotal role in our lives. It makes life more meaningful, but our taste in music can also reveal aspects of our personality. Professor Adrian North of Heriot-Watt University in Edinburgh, UK, performed the most comprehensive study to date on the relationship between musical taste and personality. He surveyed over 36,000 people in over 60 countries to learn more about their musical preference, as well as their personality. Based on their answers, North was able to connect a liking for certain music genres to specific personality traits.

Here’s what your favorite music says about your personality:

Indie

Indie fans have a high level of creativity, but low levels of self-esteem and work ethic. They also have a headstrong nature, not letting others sway their opinions or outlook on life. They usually have a contemplative, rather quiet disposition, but are friendly and warm upon getting to know them.

Heavy Metal

Fans of this type of music have high self-esteem and feel comfortable with themselves, but don’t have very much work ethic. They have a rather reserved personality, but open up to others easily. Despite the harsh sounds of their music, they have a gentle, loving personality, and share many traits of classical music lovers. However, heavy metal fans tend to be younger, in most cases.

Rap/Hip-Hop

Rap fans have both an outgoing personality and high self-esteem. They tend to blurt out whatever’s on their mind, without thinking twice about it. Fans of rap usually enjoy sharing music with others, instead of blocking out the world with headphones. Because of their extroversion, you can probably catch them dancing and singing along to their favorite songs. However, they tend to be a little self-centered, and not have much sensitivity or empathy to other people and issues in the world.

Electronic/Dance

Fans of dance and electronic music also enjoy the social aspects of music. They like going to concerts and raves to experience music with other people, and have an outgoing, friendly personality. They’re approachable, creative, and have strong opinions about things.

Country

Country fans work hard, have an outgoing personality, and are relatively easy to get along with. They are unassuming deeply caring about other people, but aren’t very willing to learn about other types of art or music. Country music fans can be set in their ways, and are very opinionated. They also tend to be conservative, but can have a friendly conversation with pretty much anyone.

Reggae

Reggae fans have many positive traits, including high self-confidence, creativity, extroversion, generosity, and kindness. They feel comfortable with themselves overall, but don’t have much work ethic. They prefer to move at a slower pace in life, simply enjoying each moment and observing the overwhelming beauty around them.

Classical

Classical music lovers have high self-esteem, feel at ease with themselves, and possess extreme creative talents, but tend to be reserved and quiet. They also are highly intelligent, worldly, and financially well-off, typically.

Pop

Pop fans have a bubbly, charismatic, outgoing personality. They have high self-esteem, but fall short in the creative realm. Also, they tend to worry incessantly over little things, and often use music to regulate their mood. Pop fans hate spending time alone, preferring to surround themselves with lots of people.

Rock

Rock fans have high self-confidence and creative talents, as well as a strong work ethic. However, they tend to dwell on negative events or people in their lives, and use music to get their frustrations out. They also tend to obsess over themselves, and don’t offer the same kindness and generosity as lovers of other types of music, such as reggae.

Blues

Blues fans have high creativity and self-esteem, much like fans of classical music. They also score highly in introversion, and tend to reflect deeply on their feelings and thoughts. They feel comfortable with themselves, but tend to enjoy their time alone more than with other people.

5 Things You Need To Know About Being In A Relationship With An Introvert

December 26, 2015 by Power of Positivity

Introverts have so many desirable, positive traits, but are still largely misunderstood both in general and oftentimes in a relationship. Introverts make up 16-50% of the population, which means you probably know at least one introvert in your life. People mislabel them as aloof, unfeeling, or shy, but they just require ample alone time to recharge their batteries. They actually love people, but spending too much time around others drains their energy stores. They acquire their energy from within, which explains why they don’t mind time in solitude.

If you’re in a relationship with an introvert, it’s important to understand their personality traits so you can have a thriving, healthy partnership with them.

Here are 5 things you need to know about being in a relationship with an introvert:

1. They love having deep, stimulating conversations.

Dating an introvert means you had better prepare yourself for hours of conversation ranging from the meaning of life to quantum physics to aliens to everything in between. They may not show off their conversation skills much when you first meet them, but give them a chance to warm up to you. Introverts don’t like small talk, and would rather just cut to the chase and peel back the layers of your soul immediately without playing games. They enjoy a conversation that teaches them something new, or challenges their opinions.

Gossip, fashion, sports, and other common topics of conversation just don’t interest them. Introverts live for midnight talks that really make them think, ones that cut their soul wide open and give them a broader perspective of life.

2. An introvert takes a while to open up to others in a relationship.

Sometimes, talking to an introvert can feel like pulling teeth, but show some patience with them. They will come around; they just need some time to feel comfortable with you. Introverts may not have the best history with relationships, as people tend to walk all over them or leave them in the dust from a lack of understanding. An introvert needs a lot of mental stimulation, and frankly, most people don’t give them what they need.

Just show them that you do find them interesting and worthy of talking to, and your support will have them opening up in no time.

3. They require a lot of time alone to restore their energy.

Introverts acquire their energy from spending time in solitude, so respect their boundaries. If they don’t feel like going out on the town with you tonight, don’t push them to do so. While introverts don’t mind having fun and going places, they also need time to themselves so they can decompress and recuperate. The world moves at a very fast pace, and sometimes, an introvert just can’t keep up. They put their self-care and self-love at a high priority, so spending time alone allows them the chance to slow down and work on their mental and spiritual health.

Don’t make them feel guilty or wrong for needing some space; support them instead, and realize that they can be a better partner to you if you allow them some time to recharge their batteries.

4. An introvert may have a hard time sharing their feelings in a relationship.

Like we said before, introverts may have been burned by people a few times before. They have a high sensitivity to energies and feelings, and sometimes feel overwhelmed by the conflicting and turbulent frequencies on the planet. An introvert might retreat into their shell from time to time, afraid of feeling too vulnerable. If they don’t want to open up to you just yet, don’t pressure them to. Simply tell them: “You can talk to me whenever you feel ready.” This will show them that you support them, but also care about hearing what they feel deep down inside.

Introverts just need someone to make them feel safe and loved, so offer this to them, and they will eventually pour their heart out to you.

5. They stray away from loud, crowded places.

If you pursue a relationship with an introvert, keep in mind that they tend to avoid noisy, bustling places. They would much rather spend a quiet evening with Chinese takeout, Netflix, and you than try to fight crowds and pretend to enjoy themselves. Of course, they do go shopping and to the grocery store and other “normal” activities, but they just do these things in small doses. The hectic environment of most places tends to overwhelm their senses, as they have a high sensitivity to stimuli.

However, inviting them to a picnic in a quiet meadow or taking them hiking in the wilderness will light up their soul and show them that you do understand them. Especially if you treat them to these things after a noisy party or chaotic shopping trip.

Remember, introverts just need balance in life. Offer this to them, and they will likely stick around for a while.

5 Signs You’re In A Relationship That’s Bad For Your Mental Health

December 26, 2015 by Power of Positivity

When we enter into a relationship, it should always be good for our mental health. Our sincere hope is that we can share mutual, positive thoughts and feelings with the other person for a long time to come without burden. Much of the happiness that we derive out of a relationship is dependent upon our positive state of mind.

Ultimately, the success or failure of any relationship, friendship, courtship, marriage, etc., hinges upon the frequency, depth, and quality of interaction that we have with someone else. Eventually, our mental state is affected either positively or negatively, depending upon these interactions.

Unfortunately, there are many unhealthy relationships. Take divorce for example. While the statistics vary according to the source, about half of all marriages end in divorce (the actual stat is probably a bit less than half, actually). Divorce is an extremely painful event; one that can potentially damage someone’s mental health before, during, and afterward.

It’s not just divorce, however. Our friendship and dating relationships also have the capability to affect our mental health.

Five Factors That Impact How a Relationship Might Impact Mental Health

In the midst of a relationship whirlwind, it can be quite difficult to slow down and evaluate our mental state. Much of the time, our focus lies in one of two areas: (1) healing the relationship, or (2) devising a way to get out of it. The degree of damage that a negative relationship causes to our health depends on a few different variables, including the following:

Length of relationship
Type of relationship (marriage, friendship, courtship, etc.)
If any violence occurs (mental or physical)
Whether you have children together
If infidelity took place

That said… any length of time that our emotional and/or mental health is suffering is too long. This is especially true when it is a direct result of a person that is unworthy of our love, affection and attention.

“How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.” – Wayne Dyer

Is Your Partner Harmful to Your Mental Health?

Here are 5 five signs that your partner may be bad for your mental health:

1. Continuously second-guessing thoughts and feelings (thinking perhaps you’re overreacting or being too dramatic/sensitive/etc.) when you have the right to be.

Occasionally, it is normal to second-guess our thoughts and feelings. After all, we’re human. That said, it is not normal for someone that we’re in a relationship with to act in a way that constantly causes us to evaluate our mental state and second-guess our emotions. If this happens repeatedly over time, there is a strong possibility that the other person is acting manipulatively.

It’s worth noting that there is often denial at this phase, either by the person causing the harm or by the recipient of it. The one causing the harm will generally deny intent, often saying things like “I didn’t know you felt that way…” or “I didn’t mean to …” However, the recipient will often deny the other person’s intent for them, as in trying to rationalize another person’s behavior!

2. It harms your mental health if you make excuses about their behavior

If we ever find ourselves making excuses for someone else, well, we need to stop. Now, this can be a difficult thing, especially if it’s someone we deeply care for and/or love. The problem with continuously making excuses for someone else is two-fold: (1) it enables the other person to continue their negative behavior without consequence, and (2) making excuses to other people about their behavior will harm another relationship: the person we’re giving excuses to. It’s only a matter of time before they begin to feel used and mistreated.

But, we also need to watch the excuses we make. For example:

“I’d rather settle for him/her than be lonely”
“They’re a great friend, I’ve done something wrong”
“I don’t want to hurt their feelings…”
“I’ll bring it up later…”

3. Denying yourself the right to think/feel/act…

If our excuse-making gets out of control or we’re so keen on sustaining a relationship that’s not working, we’ll often flat-out deny ourselves the right to think, feel or act. Some of us will even talk ourselves into thinking that we’re somehow a benefactor for putting someone else before us!

We see this often with couples, especially those that have children. One person is completely disillusioned with the relationship, but “for the sake of the kids” or “not wanting to stir the pot” they’ll just bury their thoughts, feelings, and emotions. They certainly won’t take any kind of action that may change their circumstances. This will also happen with someone who’s been a close friend for a long time.

4. Unsettled anger, fear, or anxiety when interacting with your partner can harm mental health

In a relationship that’s been mentally unhealthy for some time, there will often be a sense of negative emotions being amplified by communicating with the other person. There’s almost a sense of dread that never quite dissipates, despite our best efforts. It’s as if we’ve been hurt for so long, that any conversation or other type of interaction causes negative feelings to resurface. The frequency and intensity of these thoughts and emotions are generally related to the severity and length of the mistreatment. Consistently negative thoughts and emotions will harm our mental health.

5. Constantly trying to ‘fix’ the relationship to little avail

A relationship is a two-way street. Both people have to be willing to give and take from time to time. When someone is not willing to reciprocate the type of effort needed to sustain a healthy relationship, there is often little that can be done. If, despite our effort to do so, the other person either: (1) seems to change only for a short period of time or (2) refuses to make any type of change to their behavior, it is likely a telltale sign that the relationship is just not going to work out. Friendships cannot be forced. Dating cannot be forced. Marriage cannot be forced. We can “work” on a relationship, but that’s only possible if both people are willing to put in the time and effort to do so.

In summary, we should not be willing to tolerate a continuously negative relationship. While we may be reluctant or fearful in cutting ties with someone else, it is oftentimes for the best – both for us and for them. We should be proactive in taking our mental health with the utmost seriousness while refusing to engage with people who threaten to unsettle our emotional and mental stability.

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