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5 Things to Remember When You’re Surrounded By Negative People

Being constantly surrounded by negative people can affect every area of your life. Identifying when there are too many negative people and energy around you is an important part of being able to change yourself for the better. It can improve your relationships and your overall outlook on life.

stop negativity

Keep these things in mind when you find yourself surrounded by negative people and use them to help you move out of the negative space.

5 Things to Remember When Negative People Surround You:

Remember to stay focused on solutions

When questioning and understanding the negative people around you is to focus on how to eradicate it, and prevent it in the future.

Why focus on the solution?

The answer is simple: not only do you end up receiving more of what you focus on, you also send out a ripple of positive energy that is received by others. With that basic principle in mind, it makes sense to focus on the solution rather than the negative energy and problems associated with it.

Remember to accept possibility and release expectation

Happy people aren’t happy because bad things don’t happen to them, they are happy because they know how to handle the bad things better. Someone who is happy has similar challenges to those that are not happy. The difference is that they release expectation of what might happen, and focus to create their best possible situation – no matter whether it ends up good or bad.

Knowing that life could deal you some good apples (and some bad ones), releasing expectation makes it easier to work through situations because you are ready to accept whatever happens. The key is to take action right away to move back into a positive space.

Remember to show yourself compassion.

negative people

No matter how bad surroundings may get, remember that the negative people around you aren’t necessarily a problem you have to deal with. While you are responsible for the energy you create, the burden of others shouldn’t be carried on your shoulders.

See the importance of this distinction, because if you can separate yourself from the negative energy of others, you can focus on getting to the heart of the matter logically, without allowing the emotion to latch onto you.

Remember to Focus

Sometimes when negative energy is coming at us from all directions, we have a hard time knowing what to do. It is so intense that it can paralyze us into inaction. Instead of tackling the big ball of negativity all at once, try doing one small thing. Just one.

Doing one thing will crack open a space in the negative energy for the positive to begin to shine. That little bit of positive will begin to build and your motivation to do more “things” will propel you to eliminating the harmful energy.

Remember to accept them as they are, and release them if you have to

With everyone in our lives, whether positive or negative, we have two choices: to accept them as they are or let them go. Accepting them means accepting the negative source to the point where you can begin to move through it. It doesn’t mean you must allow the negative people to remain in and influence your life. Accepting them means handling the challenge and creating change.

When negative people surround you, it’s obvious that change is needed. That doesn’t mean change will immediately occur or solve the problem. If the negativity persists you may see that it has become a toxic cycle that no longer serves you, and have to come to terms with letting them go.

In the end, you have to do what is right for you and your mental well-being and overall happiness. It isn’t easy to let go, but when they aren’t contributing to your highest good anymore and possibly even harming you, what choice do you have?

Become aware of the messages you are receiving throughout the day. Find the sources of negative messages and begin to eliminate them from your daily routine.  Learn to recognize the type of unhealthy thinking you are most likely to encounter. Start having an inner dialogue about how to handle these situations now, before you are in the moment. Knowing how you will handle the situation before it occurs, will help you when the time comes.

7 Ways to Overpower Negative Beliefs

Negative beliefs hold us back. They reinforce feelings of failure, fear, and apathy. When we believe these beliefs, we allow them to control our destiny and to take back control of our journey; we must stop ignoring and trying to work around them and confront them instead.

These beliefs can be about anything and are influenced by everything around us, including the people we know, the books we read and the social networks we visit.

Here are seven ways to overpower negative beliefs:

“Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy. Human beings have the awesome ability to take any experience of their lives and create a meaning that disempowers them or one that can literally save their lives.” – Tony Robbins

Explore

Exploring what fuels our negative beliefs will allow us to address the habits and behaviors and make changes. It’s helpful to understand how our beliefs are formed and what influences them.

When we have a complete understanding, it will help us change our behaviors, it will help us recognize when certain beliefs are limiting our potential.

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Be Curious

Being curious takes what we learn in the exploring phase and questions how we will move through negative beliefs into beliefs that support our vision and potential.

The curiosity factor will help us explore what happens on the other side of the belief and the different scenarios we might encounter along the way. It helps us see possibility, and the negative belief becomes more positive.

Determine if The Limiting Belief is Fact or Fiction

After exploring the beliefs and being curious about it, it is time to take what we’ve learned and determine if the belief is fact or fiction. You are holding on to the belief for a reason, you were either convinced of it or the belief may have been valid at one time.

But just like we change, so do our beliefs. Now it’s time to reflect on the belief and determine why we are holding onto it. Once you realize the negative belief no longer offers value, it is easier to discount it.

Isolate Negative Beliefs

Negative beliefs become more powerful when other negative experiences are present or when other people are fueling the fire. Isolate the belief and work through it on your own by exploring it, being curious about it, and determining if it is fact or fiction. Our beliefs and the transition from limited to supportive need to happen in our minds.

Find Supportive Evidence

Finding evidence to support why the negative belief isn’t valid will help us put it into perspective. In many cases, negative beliefs are playing to our emotions. Counteracting that with logical evidence might be just what we need to put it to rest. Listing all the reasons why the belief is not true or no longer valid provides an internal release of the power the belief holds.

Reframe the Negative Belief

It’s not realistic to think a negative belief will just go away, so to help them move along it is important to reframe it in a way that supports you. You can state the belief followed by why it is false or doesn’t provide you value anymore. Reframing the belief into what is true for you now is a very effective way of changing the negative belief into one that is supportive and purposeful.

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Move On

Negative beliefs hold power when we allow them to continue to influence us. Remember the past is the past, and it doesn’t influence our now or our future unless we allow it. It is often easier to say let it go than it is to do it. When you have a negative belief you have two choices: 1. accept it and let go or 2. change it. The tips in this article will help you change it when you can, but if you can’t, you need to learn to live with it. What’s more important is you must stop allowing it to prevent you from achieving your goals.

Ultimately, it is important to remember that negative beliefs exist because we allow them to be. We have the power to change them from negative to powerful positive ones with a mindful journey through changing the belief into something that works for us, not against us.

Ed Miliband said it best:

“My beliefs will run through everything I do. My beliefs, my values are my anchor and when people try to drag me, as I know they will, it is to that sense of right and wrong, that sense of who I am and what I believe, to which I will always hold.”

Find your truth and go there when your beliefs are challenged.

What Is Your Animal Sign?

Native Americans have always been greatly connected to the Earth and all the creatures that inhabit it. They also believe in an animal birth totem, or the spirit animal that guides you through life based on your birth date. Each sign’s birth animal can provide insight into one’s personality, life path, and other essential aspects of our existence here on Earth.

So, what is your animal sign, and what does it mean?

animal sign

Image courtesy: consultthesage.com

Otter (Jan 20 – Feb 19)

Otters have a spunky, eccentric personality. On the other hand, they also excel at solving problems, and will never give up until they have an answer. Many people find them hard to read, but this doesn’t bother the otter. They see the world through a unique lens, and don’t care what anyone else thinks about them. Otters constantly crave freedom and adventure, but have a more gentle, empathetic side as well.

Wolf (Feb 20 – March 19)

The complex, mysterious wolf likes to sit back and watch the world around them, simply observing and taking notes. They can be hard to get close to, as they tend to hide their emotions and only show people certain parts of themselves that they feel comfortable with. Highly creative, intelligent, and artistic, the wolf spends much time in solitude, perfecting his craft. The phrase “lone wolf” comes from here, as they are fiercely independent.

Falcon (March 20 – April 19)

This animal represents the sign Aries, a fiery, independent, dominant sign. Falcons like to oversee a situation, leading the way the entire time. They don’t like to be controlled or bossed around, and don’t take it very well when people try to tame them. Falcons dive into a new project or business idea headfirst, without doing much observing or thinking beforehand. They can come off as brash and intolerable, but they have a good heart underneath their stubborn, boisterous personality.

Beaver (April 20 – May 20)

The beaver possesses a strong work ethic, not quitting a job until it’s done. They can be stubborn, however, and not listen to other people’s input about a situation. They are loyal, honest people, and you can always count on them to follow through. They have a level head, and think in terms of practicality and logic.

Deer (May 21 – June 20)

Despite the deer’s docile nature, they can also be sociable and highly likable. They move quickly, never stopping until they reach their destination. Deer are amiable and light-hearted, but can also have a totally opposite personality, crawling into their shell and wanting to be alone at times. This behavior goes along perfectly with a Gemini, whose birthday falls between the dates listed above.

Woodpecker (June 21 – July 21)

Persistent, dedicated, and courageous are just a few words to describe the noble woodpecker. They might be small, but they pack a big punch. Woodpeckers make their presence known when they walk into a room, but they aren’t arrogant by any means. In fact, quite the opposite is true. They are humble, gentle, and extremely caring, always putting others before themselves. However, when people don’t meet their expectations, they can get easily hurt.

animal sign

Salmon (July 22 – Aug 21)

The salmon has a big personality, and naturally lights up a room when they walk into it. They don’t mind having the spotlight on them, and actually prefer it. Very talented, intelligent, and gregarious, the salmon needs big goals and dreams to set their sights on, otherwise they might fall into bad habits and stagnation. They enjoy having upbeat, positive people to surround themselves with, preferably who also have their sights on a huge dream.

Bear (Aug 22 – Sept 21)

Logical, analytical, and straightforward describe the courageous, mighty bear perfectly. Bears have a great deal of patience, and will remain loyal to you no matter what. While a bear might have a bad temper underneath their quiet disposition, they rarely show this side of themselves.

Raven (Sept 22 – Oct 22)

Ravens have an innate way of creating the perfect balance in their lives, and therefore help others to feel more balanced, as well. They don’t tolerate injustice or bullying, always standing up for what’s right. While they too have a quiet demeanor, they know what they want in life, and don’t ever hesitate to go after it. They have a very eloquent way of speaking, appearing calm and cool even when they feel a whirlwind churning inside them.

Snake (Oct 23 – Nov 22)

Snakes might have a bad reputation, but don’t judge them before you get to know them. They can appear aloof and sneaky, but they have big hearts. You have to peel back their layers to understand them better. They are highly sensitive, creative people, but don’t hurt them – they have a tendency to get revenge whenever people do them wrong.

Owl (Nov 23 – Dec 21)

Owls seem to have a split personalities. While they do possess great wisdom, strength, and patience, they can also be flighty and unstable. They also have a hard shell, and it’s not easy to penetrate unless you have patience with them. Owls are serious yet warm and friendly. They don’t like to stay in one spot too long, always wanting to leave to get some fresh air and a new adventure under their wing.

hawks

Goose (Dec 22 – Jan 19)

Geese are some of the hardest workers of the animal signs, and often consume themselves with work so much that they neglect other aspects of their life. They are not easily swayed by other people’s opinions, but enjoy trying to persuade others to accept and believe theirs. One of their biggest fears in life is failure, so they immerse themselves in their work to make sure that doesn’t happen to them.

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This Is What Happens When You Massage These 3 Spots On Your Ear

Acupuncture, an alternative form of therapy originating in China, has gained immense popularity throughout the world today, especially in Western nations. People go to an acupuncturist for a variety of reasons, either to heal physical pain, balance emotional energy, or just to simply relax and quiet their mind. Acupuncturists place needles in certain meridian points in the body, believed to stabilize or unblock stagnant energy in the body.

On the ears, you can find three major points to massage or do acupuncture on; giving these spots attention can do everything from healing mental imbalances to aligning chakras to helping you manage stress more effectively.

We will explain in further detail below.

Here’s what happens when you massage these 3 spots on your ear:

1. Shen Men

The ancient Chinese actually called this point on the ear the “Heavenly Gate.” 

That’s because it draws divine energy from the universe into the body, making it a very powerful massage and acupressure point. Just underneath the helix at the top part of your ear, you will find this acupressure point. Because it is known as a master point, massaging it gently for just a few minutes each day can heal ailments such as anxiety, depression, inflammation in the body, etc.

You can either use a Q-tip or your fingers to massage the Shen Men point, just make sure to use small, circular, gentle motions in order to activate the incredibly powerful healing energy.

2. Point Zero

Dr. Paul Nogier, a French neurologist, actually invented auriculotherapy, or ear acupuncture, publishing his results in 1957. He found that the ear perfectly mirrors an inverted fetus, with Point Zero representing the exact centerpoint of the ear. If you compare this point to the midpoint in the human body, it would align perfectly with the solar plexus chakra.

So, by massaging this point in your ear, you can bring your body back into perfect alignment, regulating the brain and hormones in the process. This point of the ear, known as the crus of helix, lies near the vagus nerve, which directly connects the brain and the gut. By stimulating this point on the ear, many believe it can help activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which will bring a great calming energy to the body.

3. Sympathetic Autonomic Point

Located on the inner part of the helix, massaging this point on the ear helps to calm the body’s “fight-or-flight” response, designed to prompt us into action and pump adrenaline throughout our bodies in the face of danger. However, in modern society, many people unfortunately live in a constant state of fear and stress, because their sympathetic nervous system is simply overwhelmed and overstimulated.

Simply put, we do not give our bodies and minds near enough self-care and time to decompress as we should, which makes our systems have to work that much harder in order to maintain functionality. However, giving attention to this part of your ear can give your body and mind a chance to restore itself and heal from all the stresses you face each day.

Massaging this point on your ear also helps instill a regular heartbeat, eliminate stress, relax the muscles, and bring the nervous system back into a state of tranquility.

The whole idea behind any alternative therapy, especially acupressure and acupuncture, is to bring awareness back into the body. In our frenzied world, many of us become disjointed and greatly disconnected from our bodies, and therefore, we open ourselves up to disease and misfortune. By reconnecting with ourselves and giving our bodies the self-care and attention they deserve, we can bring ourselves back into alignment, and learn to live in a state of bliss once again.

5 Feelings Couples Experience In A Loving Relationship

Couples who are in a deeply loving relationship don’t always feel lovey dovey; that would be unnatural. Being in a caring relationship with another person means that you both experience feelings within the boundary of a safe partnership.

The range of emotions that you experience as a couple can range from feeling exhilarated over a positive event like a promotion, to feeling sorrow when one of you loses a loved one. Being there for your partner in good times and in bad is what a strong, loving relationship is all about.

5 Feelings Couples Experience In A Loving Relationship

relationship

1. Trust

“Trust takes years to build, seconds to break and forever to repair” – Unknown

The feeling of trust is perhaps the most important one for couples in a loving relationship. Loving couples feel that they can rely on their partner not only to be honest but to provide a safe environment, protect their feelings, be reliable and build an intimate emotional bond.

Trust is key to a healthy sex life since this is the most vulnerable that couples can be with their physical selves and their feelings. Marriage and couples counselor Dr. Richard Nicastro says that “During sex, the stakes are always elevated because sexual intimacy is inherently risky emotional business – that is, the level of emotional vulnerability evoked with someone you deeply care about presents both the potential for intimate sharing and authentic contact and, when things go awry, emotional wounding and withdrawal.”

2. Concern

When one partner hurts, the other half of the relationship often hurts for them. This concern for the feelings of your partner is part of your loving bond. Feeling concern means that loving couples care and feel empathy for their partner.

When one partner is worried, couples in deep love feel the stress together. Because the relationship is a partnership, they work together to solve problems. Loving partners also feel concern when partner is dealing with recovery from an illness.

3. Frustration

Although anger is something that partners feel, more often couples feel frustration over miscommunication. Feeling frustration is usually a result of one partner’s expectations not being met. Either your partner didn’t know what you expected or they knew and didn’t follow through.

If one partner has said “I’m not a mind reader!” it’s probably because the partners aren’t good at communicating their needs. Loving couples all experience this and because they care, they work on clearly communicating their needs to their partner.

If one partner didn’t do what was expected, loving couples handle these multiple ways. The easiest is to just let it go. Whatever caused the frustration is in the past now so a loving spouse will forgive and continue to feel deep love for their partner in spite of their faults.

Or, partners may decide to confront their spouse and express that they let them down this one time. They explain what they would like them to do differently next time, and thank them for listening.

4. Hope

Loving couples are supportive of their shared hopes and aspirations. They have a long future ahead of them and they are have a positive outlook. They can see what they’ve been able to overcome in their relationship this far and they feel hopeful for what’s to come.

Loving couples expect the best, but plan for the worst. Everett L. Worthington Jr., author of Hope-Focused Marriage Counseling: A Guide to Brief Therapy says that the focus on hope is a focus on solutions to problems. Worthington says that hope-focused counseling counters negative patterns and replaces them with a positive focus of hope which shows couples how to mutually value each other.

5. Devotion

Of course loving couples feel romantic love for each other, but devotion to each other is so much more. Partners who are devoted feel loyal to their partner. They are kind and supportive. Devoted couples are supportive of their partner’s decisions. They will be there through good times and bad.

Loving couples with feelings of devotion are deeply committed to their partner. Not only would they never cheat, they envision the next 50 or more years with their love. This is a characteristic of the deep, true love that passionate, romantic, couples feel.

According to Dr. Terry Orbuch, author of 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great, unlike what Hollywood films make us believe, passion in a loving relationship can fade over time, but it can be rekindled. Orbuch says: “Passionate sex is a byproduct of sustained emotional intimacy along with a continuing sense of adventure and exploration and sense of playfulness.”

Over the course of their relationship, couples who are deeply in love will strengthen their emotional bond. The shared feelings that they experience bring them closer together.

This Is Why You Should Sleep On Your Left Side

A good night’s rest is important to your health, energy, and attitude. On a good night, we spend many hours resting and letting our bodies recover from the day’s stress. The position you sleep in can help or hinder your body’s functioning while resting. The alignment of your internal organs may be one reason why sleeping on your left side is better.

Why the Side You Sleep on Matters

Although some of our organs come in mirrored pairs, like our lungs and kidneys, most of the organs in our body are different on each side. For example, the bulk of our stomach and the spleen lies on the left side, and most of our liver and gallbladder are on the right side.

Sometimes we experience health problems that only affect one side of our body and not the other. You may notice your left eye was twitching but not the right. Maybe you experience a sudden cramp on your right side bit, not the other. Consult with your physician if you have symptoms that are specific to one side of the body or the other.

This Is Why You Should Sleep On Your Left Side

your left side

There are multiple reasons why you should sleep on your left side. Certified Ayurvedic Therapist Dr. John Drouillard says that left-side sleeping posture has the following benefits for our well-being:

  • Facilitate lymphatic drainage
  • Heart pumps downhill
  • Better elimination of bowels
  • Support healthy spleen function
  • Encourages proper digestion
  • Helps circulation back to the heart
  • Helps bile flow freely

The lymphatic duct is where lymph fluid drains and it is located on the left side of the body. Lying this way while you sleep allows gravity to help the fluid drain to where it should go. After the lymph fluid is purified, it drains into the left side of the heart.

When you say the pledge, you put your hand over your heart, which is on the left side of your chest. When you sleep on this side, the blood from the biggest artery in your heart heads down to your abdomen. Again, gravity is helping the heart work more efficiently in this position.

Another reason why Dr. Drouillard says that you should sleep like this is for easier bowel function. The large intestine dumps waste into the descending colon on your left side. Again, helping this process is another reason you should sleep like this.

The spleen on the left side of our body filters blood. Therefore, sleeping in this position helps blood to flow into the spleen more easily.

Lying on your left allows the liver and gallbladder on the right side of the body to secrete bile which then is assisted by gravity to flow into your stomach and pancreas on the left side.

Sleeping this way is so beneficial to digestion that Dr. Drouillard recommends lying on your left side for a brief nap following a big meal. He says this will help give you energy after the meal rather than make you sleepy.

There may be a good reason why pregnant women should sleep this way. For pregnant women, especially late in term, researchers at the Veterans General Hospital-Taipei found that the left side sleeping position was the most beneficial. This is due to the enhanced blood pressure-lowering effect of this sleep position on the heart.

Side sleeping can be beneficial over back sleeping to prevent snoring. For those who have sleep apnea, side sleeping is a preventative tool. With sleep apnea, the breathing becomes blocked by the relaxed tongue. As a result, the patient stops breathing periodically through the night. Side sleeping fixes this, although either side is better than back sleeping for those with sleep apnea.

Although you may start your sleep on your left side, very few people wake up exactly in the same pose they went to sleep in. If you occasionally wake yourself enough during sleep to realize what position you are in, try resuming sleep on your left side to continue to have the health benefits left-side sleeping gives you.

your sleep

Why Right is Right (for Some)

Certain health conditions may benefit from sleeping on the right rather than the left side. For example, researchers at the Sleep Research Laboratory of the Toronto Rehabilitation Institute found that patients with Congestive Heart Failure rolled onto their right sides more often than their left sides as they slept. Researchers believe that heart failure patients do this as a way to protect themselves from the discomfort associated with the enlarged heart beating against the chest cavity.

Similarly, a study published in the American Journal of Cardiology found that patients with Coronary Artery Disease should sleep on their right sides because doing so increased the interval between heartbeats.

Right-side sleeping can be wrong for those who suffer from GERD (Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease). According to Dr. Matthew Edlund, M.D., GERD patients who sleep on their right sides experience increased symptoms and may lose sleep due to discomfort.

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