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Which Personality Type Are You Most Compatible With?

December 3, 2015 by Power of Positivity

Do likes attract or do opposites make the best relationships? You probably know the type that you’re attracted to, but is that the perfect type for your personality? You know yourself at least a little by now, but how do you know what personality type would make the best partner for you?

If you know your own personality, you can begin to understand how certain personality types might be a more perfect match for yours than others. If you’re looking for the perfect relationship fit for your personality type, here’s how to find your perfect match.

The nine personality types listed here are based on the system of the Enneagram. The Enneagram system was developed in the 1960’s, but has its’ roots in ancient wisdom from South America and Asia.

What’s Your Perfect Relationship Based On Your Personality?

The Nine Personality Types

The descriptions of the nine personality types of the Enneagram system are below but taking a quick quiz will help you to determine your type easily. Now that you know your own type, let’s find your perfect relationship match.

1. Reformer

The Reformer personality type is a perfectionist, or at least they want to make things better. In fact, they like their lives to be organized and they are very responsible.

The Reformer’s perfect personality match is the Individualist who can help the Reformer to break out of a rut. An Individualist will help you find unique ways to accomplish your goals. Avoid the Enthusiast unless you want a challenge in directing that boundless energy.

2. Helper

The Helper personality type needs to be needed. They are selfless and giving people who idealize love. The Helper remembers birthdays and special occasions with gifts and is always ready to help a friend in need.

The Helper’s perfect personality match is the Challenger who will defend and protect the Helper from overextending themselves. A Challenger will encourage a Helper to speak up. Avoid Individualists because they may tend to take advantage of Helpers.

3. Achiever

The Achiever personality type seeks success. They are hard working achievers who are focused on the next goal. Achievers want to be admired for their accomplishments. They tend to be extroverts.

The Achiever’s perfect personality match is the Enthusiast whose spontaneity will help the Reformer to have fun. Avoid the Peacemaker since they will seem lazy compared to an Achiever’s energy.

4. Individualist

As their name implies, the Individualist personality type doesn’t want to be like everyone else. They thrive on being unique and different.

The Individualist’s perfect personality match is a Reformer who can help them achieve their goal of being special. Avoid Helpers due to the potential for Individualists to become dependent.

5. Investigator

The Investigator personality type tends to be introverted and they prefer to read, write and express their thoughts. They appreciate intelligence and people that inspire them.

The Investigator’s perfect personality match is the Enthusiast since they can help break an Investigator out of their shell for a little more fun. Avoid the Challenger unless you enjoy debating with your partner.

6. Loyalist

Loyalists are not quick to trust other people. This personality type will be extremely loyal but they need others to prove themselves first. Once they feel comfortable, a Loyalist will be devoted to their mate.

The Loyalist’s perfect personality match is a Peacemaker who will put their mind at ease over worries about infidelity. This will be a long-term monogamous match. Avoid the Achiever who may make a Loyalist feel neglected.

7. Enthusiast

The Enthusiast personality type loves new adventures. They are energetic and like making plans. An Enthusiast is creative, open-minded. Besides that, this personality tends to be extroverted.

The Enthusiast’s perfect personality match is an Investigator who will bring just enough calming energy to the Enthusiast. The opportunities for learning that an Enthusiast will seek out are a good fit for the Investigator. Avoid the Reformer who will be too much of a controlling influence.

8. Challenger

A Challenger hates being controlled so they take control themselves. They are decisive, strong-willed, practical and energetic.

The Challenger’s perfect personality match is the Helper who will care for the Challenger’s high maintenance personality. A Helper can reduce stress for the Challenger when they take on too much. Avoid the Investigator since they can be seen as indecisive.

9. Peacemaker

The Peacemaker personality type avoids conflict and seeks harmony. They are somewhat introverted because they want to avoid anything that will disturb their peace of mind.

The Peacemaker’s perfect match is the Loyalist who will bring peace of mind to the Peacemaker. You know you can rely on them to be there when you need them. Avoid the Achiever who can be seen as too pushy and goal focused.

Indeed, understanding your own preferences is the best way to find the right match for yourself. When you know what you like, as well as what you won’t tolerate, you can find your perfect personality partner for your perfect relationship.

5 Signs You Might Be A People Pleaser

December 3, 2015 by Power of Positivity

It seems that our society runs on pleasing others, whether it’s our bosses, our families, our teachers, our friends, or our spouses. Unfortunately, many people focus so much of their attention on pleasing other people, however, that they forget to take care of the one person that needs it the most – themselves. People pleasers get their validation from outside sources, so they flit from one person to another, catering to their every need and desire. Oftentimes, we engage in this self-serving, yet degrading behavior without even knowing it, and lose ourselves in the process.

People pleasing can become quite addictive, as you start to see how many people you can make happy. You start to feel as though they rely on you for their own well-being and contentment, and this makes you feel needed and important. While you should strive to make others happy, it should never substitute for the happiness you provide for yourself.

Here are 5 signs you might be a people pleaser:

1. You often feel inferior to others.

A people pleaser never feels equal to his or her peers. They always feel like they can’t measure up, so they have to compensate by waiting on other people hand in foot so they can feel needed in society. Their self-worth comes from other people, and if they can put a smile on someone else’s face, their self-esteem rises each time. A people pleaser feels it is his or her duty to make other people feel good, and while that that is an honorable mission in life, it means nothing if the person neglects their own happiness.

2. You rely on other people to make you feel good about yourself.

Linda Tillman, Ph.D, a clinical psychologist from Atlanta, Georgia, said that a people pleaser’s “personal feeling of security and self-confidence is based on getting the approval of others.” At the heart of a people pleaser’s issues is that they severely lack confidence, so they have to seek it outside themselves to boost their self-esteem. If you constantly seek other people’s approval, and don’t truly love yourself, you might be a people pleaser.

3. You never stand up for yourself.

People pleasers let other people walk all over them, because they fear that sharing their true feelings will make other people dislike them. They don’t want to lose people, so they do everything in their power to get them to stay, which, in their mind, means acquiescing to their every desire. They will allow other people to tarnish their character and take advantage of their kindness, because they feel like no one will like them if they actually assert themselves.

4. You always put other people’s needs ahead of your own.

Other people always come first – you put your own desires on the back burner so that others can see what a noble and caring friend you are. You might think this makes you a better person, but in the end, it only hurts you. Forgetting about your own needs means you don’t truly care about yourself, so you cannot fully love and care for others. If you neglect your self-care and continually cater to other people despite having no time for yourself, you are probably a people pleaser.

5. You have an intense fear of disappointing others.

Because you have anxieties about losing other people and falling short of their expectations, you do whatever you can to convince them to stick around. You don’t want to disappoint them, so saying no to their requests isn’t an option. You let other people dictate your every move, and fear that speaking up will cost you your friendships. A people pleaser will run themselves into the ground if it means that they can satisfy everyone’s desires and keep portraying an image of a hero or savior.

If you find yourself caring what other people will think about you and avoiding making any decision that ruffles feathers, this constitutes people pleasing behavior.

In order to stop this type of self-destructive behavior, you need to ask yourself why you feel you must please others so much. Do you have a fear of abandonment? Do you have a need to fill a void by seeking approval in others? You first must get to the root of the people pleasing addiction before you can start to get help and reverse the behaviors. More than anything, people pleasing is a habit, used to compensate for one’s lack of self-confidence.

You need to believe in yourself and realize your own self-worth, and stop asking other people to do the dirty work. In a way, people pleasing is a selfish behavior, because in the end, you want to put a smile on other people’s faces for your own personal benefit.

Understand that you can have a healthy relationship with other people without bending over backwards for them; a relationship involves two people, so you can speak up and express your feelings. Love yourself enough to form balanced, positive relationships with both yourself and others. You deserve it.

5 Things Every Couple Should Know By Their 1st Anniversary

December 3, 2015 by Power of Positivity

Time flies when you’re in love, and if you’ve made it to your 1st anniversary as a couple, you know a few things you didn’t know before. You and your partner are two different people who somehow made it work despite the odds and past failed relationships.

Congratulate yourselves on reaching this couple milestone. It didn’t always come easy, but being in love made it easier. If you could pass on what you’ve learned, you’d tell new couples that every couple should know at least five things by their 1st anniversary.

5 Things Every Couple Should Know by Their 1st Anniversary

Great advice for every new couple.

1. How to Fight Fair.

You won’t always agree on things, and when you don’t, there can be raised voices and hurtful words. You’ve survived at least one major blowup by now, and you learned a lot about each other in the process. You now know your partner’s hot-button issues, and they know yours.

Couples in longer-term relationships know that frustration is an emotion that rears its ugly head occasionally. Part of being a successful couple is compromising to make you both happy. But that means giving up some things that you liked but your partner didn’t.

Psychologist Dr. Nathan Cobb has nine rules of fair fighting that avoid yelling, foul language, and blaming to help couples learn to achieve greater closeness by reaching a mutual understanding. You can read his rules for fighting fairly in this link.

At this point in your relationship, when a fight happens, you both make your cases and somehow come to an agreement or an impasse. Arguing teaches couples about the importance of good communication. Advanced couples learn how to prevent a fight from happening in the first place, but don’t rush the process. You’ll get there eventually.

2. How to Make Your Partner Laugh.

Humor in a relationship is so important. Teasing, joking, flirting, and playing are the highlights of your relationship. Whether your partner is down and needs a smile or you love to see them giggle, you learn what makes them laugh once you’ve been with someone for a while.

Couples who play together stay together, and the more fun they have, the more relationship happiness they seem to enjoy. According to a study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, sharing new and exciting activities is consistently associated with better relationships. Having fun creates a positive environment without stress where couples can connect.

A relationship takes work, and the most valuable thing that you can do for each other is give your time. Time spent doing activities you enjoy creates a bond over shared experiences. Howard Markman, a psychologist at the University of Denver’s Center for Marital and Family Studies, says, ‘The more you invest in fun and friendship and being there for your partner, the happier the relationship will get over time.’

3. How to Handle a Setback.

Life is not always a bowl of cherries. Sometimes there are major pits to deal with. As a committed couple, you work together to get over the problems that you face together. Whether it’s the loss of a job, an illness, or the loss of an aging relative, by your 1st anniversary, you’ve had at least one major negative event in your lives as a couple.

How you respond when something bad happens is key to the health of your future relationship. Loving partners provide emotional support to each other in times of hardship. You both work through the emotional pain of the loss and remind each other of better times.

Successfully dealing with a negative event in your life is a hurdle that you have to face. Now that you’ve done it, you know that you can handle anything that life throws at you, and you’ll be stronger together as a result.

4. What is Most Important to Your Partner.

Interests, goals, beliefs, and values; by your 1st anniversary, you know all of these for your partner. It’s part of what makes them the fascinating person that you fell in love with. You know what makes each other tick at this point in your relationship.

While getting to know each other, you learned about your partner’s political views, their culture, family history, medical history, and why their past relationships failed. As much as you know about your partner, there are still new ways for them to surprise you, and that’s part of what your future together will hold.

5. How to be Intimate in Many Ways.

Couples who make it to their 1st anniversary know that although their initial passion kept the flame of love burning brightly, things cooled off slightly in the following months. You know how to turn each other on, but now you also know that intimacy isn’t just about having sex.

Long-term couples find many ways to be intimate beyond sex. Holding hands, cuddling, and massages, as well as daily hugs and kisses, are all a part of successful intimate partnerships. Just touching your partner shows them that you care about being connected to them physically and nurtures that intimate bond.

What Does Your Zodiac Reveal About Your Thoughts?

December 2, 2015 by Power of Positivity

The zodiac sign you were born under says a lot about your personality, demeanor, and your overall thoughts about life. The mindset of each zodiac sign varies, as all twelve signs possess different characteristics.

If you’d like to know more about the mindset of your zodiac sign, keep reading below.

What is your zodiac mindset?

Aries

Aries don’t mind taking on the world by themselves; they have a headstrong, go-getter attitude, and nothing will slow them down or stand in their way. They leap before they crawl, and have high self-esteem no matter what people say about them. To people who don’t know them, they might seem bossy, demanding, and arrogant, but they have big hearts, and will protect and cherish those they love with everything they have.

Taurus

Taurus might seem stubborn and unwavering, but they just like to do things their way, and don’t see the need to speculate on how to do something if they know how already. They have a strong work ethic, and love to indulge in the finer things in life after working so hard. Loyalty and trust matter deeply to them, so if they let you in, don’t disappoint them. They don’t open up easily, so consider yourself special if you get to see the parts of themselves they usually keep hidden.

Gemini

Geminis have a split personality, making it difficult for most people to understand them. On one hand, they love going out, meeting new friends and conversing with old ones, and just living it up to the fullest. They have a charismatic, warm, open personality that draws people to them easily, but they also have a fiercely independent side that makes them hide away from others at times and do their own thing. Gemini believe in having fun above everything else, and don’t take life too seriously.

Cancer

Cancers can seem even more difficult to decode than Geminis. They have a playful spirit underneath their hard shell, but sometimes, they can seem as serious as a heart attack. One minute, them seem like they’ve finally warmed up to you, and the next, they go back into hiding, afraid of feeling too vulnerable. Cancers can come across as too sensitive and needy, but they just want to love and feel loved. They surround themselves with genuine people, and avoid those who try to hard or seem manipulative. Cancers can easily spot fake people, as they have a strong intuition.

Leo

Leos don’t hold anything back; they love the spotlight, love attention, and love telling it like it is. The lion can seem a bit cocky and obnoxious, but they are some of the most lovable people you will ever come across once you get to know them. They are the life of the party, and can make even the most serious people laugh. Leos love being around people, but their independent streak makes getting close to others difficult at times. They have a strong sense of who they are, and aren’t afraid to let their true self shine through for the world to see.

Virgo

Virgos have an analytical, contemplative, and logical mindset; if you need a problem solved, just call on a Virgo and they will get right on it. Virgos look at the world through a practical frame of mind, and don’t let their emotions cloud their better judgment. They might seem a bit rigid and uptight, but they have a method to their madness. They enjoy having intelligent conversations, and don’t really give others the time of day if they don’t sense a connection with them.

Libra

Libras love balance, and strive to create it in everything they do. They steer clear of trivial drama and instead work on creating their own happiness, leaving their imprint on the world rather than letting the world drag them through the mud. If a Libra feels imbalanced in life, everything else will start to fall to the wayside until they can figure out the issue at hand. Libras have a calm, collected, and soothing nature that makes them approachable and highly relatable.

Scorpio

Scorpios have a mysterious air about them; even after a few conversations with them, they still can seem difficult to read. They also can seduce anyone that catches their eye, as they are greatly in touch with their sexuality. However, get on their bad side, and they can switch from innocent and shy to vengeful and spiteful in a heartbeat. Scorpios need reassurance to know that you really love and care about them, and enjoy grand gestures.

Sagittarius

Sagittarius’ love adventure and constant movement; they can’t sit still for long without getting bored and restless. They can sometimes talk too much, but they don’t see that as a problem; they need to have people around who can keep up with their fast pace. Sagittarius believe in living life to the fullest, and often don’t think before they act. They fly by the seat of their pants, and don’t think twice about how they choose to live.

Capricorn

Capricorns also have a strong work ethic, and sometimes get so caught up in their work that they forget everything else. They believe wholeheartedly in earning their way through life, so putting all their blood, sweat, and tears into their work only makes sense to them. You might have to pry them away from their desk at times, but if you can manage to, they will shower you with love and affection, and remind you how important you are to them.

Pisces

Pisces imagination will intrigue you for days, as they have whole worlds swimming through their veins and live in a totally different universe than the rest of us. They have a deeply sensitive and caring nature, and will stand by and protect their loved ones, no questions asked.

Aquarius

Aquarius sometimes seem closed off to emotions, but they just take some time to crack open. They have a longing for travel, learning about new cultures, and meeting people from all different backgrounds. Aquarius thrive on intelligent conversations and people with an open mind, but also enjoy their alone time. Aquarius are some of the most interesting people you will ever meet, if you stick around to let them show you the real them.

Was your zodiac accurate? Share in the comments below!

11 Things You Need To Know About Loving A Sagittarius

December 1, 2015 by Power of Positivity

The Sagittarius, born between November 22 and December 21, are certainly a force to be reckoned with. You will not soon forget a Sagittarius after meeting him or her, because they simply have a lasting effect on your soul once you encounter them. They have a big, bold personality, and their fierce, fiery nature could burn a hole in anyone if they can’t handle the heat. Because we have moved into the sun sign Sagittarius now, we thought we would give you a crash course in all things Sagittarius, and what you need to know about loving one.

Here are 11 things to know about loving a Sagittarius:

Always remember these things when interacting with a Sagittarius.

1. They will always tell you what’s on their mind.

A Sag will never shy away from telling you the truth, and nothing but the truth. You will never have to guess how a Sagittarian feels, because he or she will tell you upfront. If you can’t handle brutal honesty, you probably won’t get along with a Sagittarius, because they speak their minds no matter what.

2. They don’t hold anything back.

A Sagittarian doesn’t believe in hiding their feelings or giving half-truths about a situation. They will give you the full story; you can either take it or leave it. They don’t apologize for what they say (most of the time). That’s because they feel no need to say sorry for speaking their truth. They don’t tiptoe through life; they run full speed ahead and don’t bother slowing down for those who prefer to go slower.

3. A Sagittarius can’t sit still for long.

Sagittarians have some of the shortest attention spans of all the signs; they need constant movement and stimulation to satisfy themselves. They are flighty and do things on a whim instead of planning them out. You need to have some good running shoes to keep up with a Sagittarius, that’s for sure.

4. They have a very active social life.

Sagittarians hate spending time alone, so they fill their days with activities and meetings with their favorite people to keep them occupied and entertained. If they spend too much time in isolation, they will grow bored and depressed, so they have many friends to keep them company. They have no problem talking to people they don’t know, and will discuss with just about anyone.

5. They will do things on the spur of the moment.

Spontaneity and Sagittarians go hand-in-hand; they hardly ever plan anything they do. Everything in their lives happens within seconds of them conjuring up the idea, and they wouldn’t have it any other way. Part of their charm is their unpredictability, so to love a Sagittarius, you must feel comfortable doing things at the drop of a hat. Plans change rapidly with a Sagittarius around, so expect a wild ride.

6. Their charm level is off the charts.

Once they turn their charm on, you won’t be able to resist. Sagittarius’ love to make people feel good and go out of their way to make sure everyone around them is happy. They know exactly what to say and do to get on people’s good side, and because of that, they don’t have very many enemies.

7. They love to flirt.

Sagittarians don’t hesitate to put the moves on people they really feel connected to, so if they dig you, you won’t have to try to read their minds. They will tell you (or show you) just how much they like you.

8. A Sagittarius looks on the bright side of life.

Sagittarians are eternal optimists, always seeing the silver lining in the dark clouds. Pessimists bring them down pretty quickly, so they try to surround themselves with people who have a similar outlook on life. Even if something utterly tragic and horrible happens in their life, they will see it as a lesson learned and try to see the positives in the experience. If you have a bad day, just ask a Sagittarius to spend time with you. You will soon forget all about your troubles in the company of a Sag.

9. They are wild children.

Free spirits, rebels without a cause, wandering souls…whatever you want to call it, the term fits a Sagittarius to a T. They don’t like being told what to do and have no problem paving their own path in life, wherever it takes them.

10. They ask a lot of questions.

If you give a one-word answer to a Sagittarius, expect a billion questions to follow. Forever curious, they will ask as many questions as they need to to understand something.

10 Things You’ll Only Understand if You’re a Sagittarius

11. Passion is a Sagittarius’ middle name.

Sags have an unbridled passion for life and attract others to them with a similar unstoppable attitude. They don’t care if they seem too loud, too obnoxious, too honest, or too hard to handle – they live life to the fullest and have no regrets.

5 Little Things That Will Improve Your Relationship

December 1, 2015 by Power of Positivity

Happy couples know that good relationships take work. It’s a joint effort by you to keep a good thing going. But you don’t have to make grand gestures like sweeping them off to a second honeymoon to have a healthy relationship. Sometimes it’s the small things that make all the difference.

No matter how good things are with your partner, they can always be better. For couples looking to improve their relationships, here are 5 little things you can start doing right away.

5 Little Things That Will Improve Your Relationship

1. Eliminate “Yes but” from your vocabulary.

When your partner wants to do something you don’t want to, you can easily disappoint them by saying no to their request. “Yes but” is a little phrase that really means the same as saying “No.” The “but” is usually followed by an excuse for why you don’t want to do what your partner wants.

For example, if your partner wants to go for an afternoon of golf and you’d rather go to a movie, instead of saying, “Yes, but I want to go to a movie,” say, “Yes, AND then we can go see a movie after we golf.” With “Yes and,” you both get what you want and have two activities you can share.

2. Let the little things go.

In a relationship, it’s all about compromise. You can’t have your way all the time, and neither can your partner. Accept that your partner has different preferences than you do, and that’s what makes them unique.

Avoid arguments by releasing the need to have things your way. When your partner wants something their way, let them have it. Don’t keep score either.

The same goes for the need to be right all the time. If your partner and you are arguing over what time your favorite TV show comes on, one of you is probably wrong. In the big picture of your relationship over your lifetime, you won’t still be debating this ten years from now, so let it go. Otherwise the nonstop arguments over little things could be the reason that you don’t have that ten year anniversary.

3. Listen intently.

Think about the last time that you heard someone speak who captured your full attention. Maybe it was a famous person making a speech about a topic that was interesting to you. Now think about the last time that your partner spoke to you. Can you even remember what they said? What was the difference in your attitude and behavior toward each speaker?

We speak at a slower rate than our minds are capable of processing information. As a result, while our partners are talking, our thoughts often wander to the little things that are important to us like what we could be getting done instead of listening to them talk.

Rather than disrespecting your partner by not giving them your full attention, practice active listening. Remove distractions like your cell phone, turn your body toward your partner, make eye contact, and don’t interrupt them. As they speak, try to summarize their meaning in your own words mentally. When they finish, clarify that you understood what they were trying to communicate.

4. Play together.

A study in The Family Journal found that relationship satisfaction was higher for couples who played together more frequently. The shared experiences of a fun time together create a bond that improves intimacy.

Play can be anything from physical activity like a sport to movie night at home. Finding opportunities to have fun doesn’t have to be a planned activity either. Playing with your partner could be as simple as sharing a laugh.

Find humor in everyday things that you can playfully tease your partner about. For example, laugh with each other over the fact that you almost poured orange juice into your cereal. If you two have an inside joke that no one else could understand, you share that private connection in your relationship.

5. Express gratitude to your partner.

Margaret Paul, Ph.D., author of Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You? says that “Complaints create stress, while gratitude creates inner peace, so gratitude creates not only emotional and relationship health, but physical health as well.” Reducing stress is a great reason to appreciate your partner.

Focusing on positives rather than negatives also improves your attitude toward your partner. If your spouse just fixed the dishwasher but left a mess of tools and dirty parts on the counter, focus on the good and not the bad. Instead of saying “Why can’t you put your tools away where they belong?,” say “It’s wonderful to have a loving partner who can fix things when they break.” When your words express what’s going right in your relationship, your thoughts agree with them.

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What’s Your Perfect Relationship Based On Your Personality?

The Nine Personality Types

1. Reformer

2. Helper

3. Achiever

4. Individualist

5. Investigator

6. Loyalist

7. Enthusiast

8. Challenger

9. Peacemaker

Here are 5 signs you might be a people pleaser:

1. You often feel inferior to others.

2. You rely on other people to make you feel good about yourself.

3. You never stand up for yourself.

4. You always put other people’s needs ahead of your own.

5. You have an intense fear of disappointing others.

5 Things Every Couple Should Know by Their 1st Anniversary

1. How to Fight Fair.

2. How to Make Your Partner Laugh.

3. How to Handle a Setback.

4. What is Most Important to Your Partner.

5. How to be Intimate in Many Ways.

What is your zodiac mindset?

Aries

Taurus

Gemini

Cancer

Leo

Virgo

Libra

Scorpio

Sagittarius

Capricorn

Pisces

Aquarius

Was your zodiac accurate? Share in the comments below!

Here are 11 things to know about loving a Sagittarius:

1. They will always tell you what’s on their mind.

2. They don’t hold anything back.

3. A Sagittarius can’t sit still for long.

4. They have a very active social life.

5. They will do things on the spur of the moment.

6. Their charm level is off the charts.

7. They love to flirt.

8. A Sagittarius looks on the bright side of life.

9. They are wild children.

10. They ask a lot of questions.

11. Passion is a Sagittarius’ middle name.

5 Little Things That Will Improve Your Relationship

1. Eliminate “Yes but” from your vocabulary.

2. Let the little things go.

3. Listen intently.

4. Play together.

5. Express gratitude to your partner.

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