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Here’s What Happens When You Touch These Points On Your Hands

There is evidence that hand therapy has been used in China and in Egypt beginning around 4,000 B.C. Western medicine rediscovered the technique of touch point therapy with the help of Dr. William Fitzgerald who called it Zone Therapy. In 1915, an article titled “To Stop That Toothache, Squeeze Your Toe,” brought touch therapy to the public’s attention.

Touching specific pressure points on your hands is essentially a form of reflexology. When you practice reflexology, you stimulate the nerve endings in the hands, which send messages to all parts of the body through the nervous system.

The practice of reflexology is similar to the technique of acupressure, but acupressure is more focused on balancing the energy of the body. According to the theory of acupressure, when you manually press specific points on your hands, you are activating corresponding energy meridian points on your body to stimulate the system to come to balance.

Benefits of Reflexology

Most commonly, reflexology is used for pain relief, but it may have further implications for healing as well. Since this is basically a self-massage technique, it can be an excellent relaxation therapy. It also increases blood circulation to your hands.

Technique

Before you begin, a word of caution. Some people should avoid reflexology due to medical conditions such as blood clots that could be aggravated. Here is a good list of those who should consult with a doctor first.

There are different reflexology charts of the hands: Western, Indian, Korean and Aculife. For the purpose of this article, we will focus on the Western chart.

You may find it helpful to place a folded towel under one hand to help support the hand as you press on it with the fingers of your other hand.

Here are some basic techniques to keep in mind while touching your hands:

* Use the index finger, thumb or both to apply pressure.

* Apply either direct pressure or pressure in a small circular motion over the spot.

* Apply firm pressure for 3 to 5 seconds.

* Begin with your right hand and move to your left only when you have finished working with the pressure points on your right hand.

* Begin with your thumb and then work on your fingers.

Basic Hand Chart

On your hand, the fingers correspond to the head and neck. Working the fingers will help with ailments affecting the head such as headache, toothache, and sinus pain.

The palm of the hand corresponds to your body’s torso. Looking at your palm, the fleshy area at the base of the fingers corresponds to your chest. The center of your palm corresponds to your stomach and liver and the bottom pad near the wrist and up to the base of the pinky finger corresponds to your digestive system.

Here’s What Happens When You Touch These Points On Your Hands

For reflexology self-healing, try these techniques to relieve common ailments:

Constipation

On your index finger, press the finger near the base of the fingernail on the thumb side. This is your lower intestine and colon meridian point.

Sore throat

Hold the thumb at the base joint and rotate it in a large circle. Gently pull and stretch the thumb joint. Repeat and circle the thumb in the other direction. Move up to the upper joint on the thumb and gently twist the joint. Then rotate the upper joint in a circle both directions.

Repeat the process with all fingers. Squeeze the base of each finger and thumb. Repeat for the left hand.

Sinus pain or headache

Squeeze the sides of the tip of the thumb in a pulsing motion, then do the same to the tip of the thumb. Pulse the sides again. Repeat this pattern of side, tip, side pulse pressure for each finger of both hands.

Shoulder pain

Rub the base of the pinky finger on either side of your hand to relieve shoulder tension.

Back pain

According to Deborah Flannigan, certified reflexologist, you can help back pain by pressing the side of the thumb starting at the tip and working down to the wrist. Spend extra time on areas that are sore, but don’t press too hard.

Insomnia

Deborah also suggests that you can alleviate insomnia by pressing the center of your thumbprint for 45 seconds. Repeat this 2-3 times per day.

hands-reflexology

Low libido

To increase libido, Deborah recommends gently twisting the wrist of each hand twenty times and 2-3 times per day.

New technology has been developed for those seeking the benefits of hand reflexology. You can now purchase a hand massager to touch certain points on your hand rather than doing it yourself. The Breo ipalm520 is one of these devices that is available for purchase. The device uses air pressure to activate the reflexology points on the hands.

For further information and therapy, you can locate a professional accredited reflexologist through the International Institute of Reflexology here.

10 Ways To Make Your Relationship A Lot Easier

As complex human beings, it comes as no surprise that our relationships can get a little complicated sometimes. Throughout the ebbs and flows of life, our relationships can either strengthen, or become a total burden on our happiness.

Relationships should make you feel good and add value to your life, not take it away. If you’ve found that your relationship seems a lot more confusing and muddled than it used to, these tips can help.

Here are 10 ways to make your relationship a lot easier:

relationship

1. Make sure to fall in love with yourself first

Like we have said countless times before, you really can’t have a healthy relationship until you learn to love yourself unabashedly and unconditionally. Fall so deeply in love with yourself that you want to shout it from the rooftops, take yourself out on dates, and look at yourself in the mirror and see all that you could ever need. Then, and only then, can you truly love another human being, because you will know the definition of love at your core, and have the capability of offering that feeling to another on a deep level.

2. Be up front with your feelings

No relationship can work unless both people commit to sharing their true feelings in all instances, no matter how difficult. If something bothers you, say it. If you need something from your partner, just ask. It will make a relationship go much more smoothly if you don’t hold back, and instead reveal your feelings and thoughts to your partner at all costs. Most people can’t read minds, so it makes things a lot easier for both of you if you use your voice to express how you feel.

3. Give each other space sometimes

Two people can’t keep each other company 24/7 and remain sane; it just doesn’t work that way, and it shouldn’t. People need room to grow and learn on their own, and create a life outside of their relationship. Make sure to give one another a few nights a week to go out and explore on your own, go out with friends, or even just spend time at home watching Netflix or relaxing by yourselves. Your relationship will only strengthen once you give each other space to become your own person, and you will continue to learn more about each other in the process.

4. Let your walls come down

You don’t have to dress up or look perfect for your partner because they obviously have stayed with you for much more than your looks. Let them see you without makeup, lounging around in sweatpants and a ratty old T-shirt. Many of us live with this mask on in fear of letting people see our raw, unadulterated selves, but if you want a relationship to last, you have to rip that mask off and let your true self shine through.

5. Don’t allow jealousy to interfere with your relationship

Jealousy can tear any relationship apart, no matter how deep the connection. According to Helen Fisher, PhD, jealousy usually stems from childhood trauma or other psychological issues related to abandonment, inadequacy, or overdependency on others. A little jealousy can actually reignite the flame in relationships, but too much of it can destroy an otherwise healthy partnership. Before you commit to someone, you need to work out these issues beforehand and figure out what causes you to feel jealous. Otherwise, the monster will only reappear in every relationship you have until you determine the root of the problem.

6. Be thankful for the little things

Make sure to tell your partner a simple “thank you” for all the wonderful little things they do for you each day, like waking you up with a fresh, steaming hot cup of coffee, or making you breakfast, or holding the door open for you. Relationships need reinforcement in order to thrive, so make sure to tell you partner just how much you appreciate them.

7. Support your partner no matter what

In any relationship, both people need support from their partner during both the ups and downs in their lives. If your partner needs a shining beacon of light to guide their way during a rough storm, stand by him or her while they navigate through the dark seas. If he or she needs help deciding on an exciting career move, support them no matter what decision they make. Remember, while you both share a life together, each one of you must make you own choices, and you have to allow one another that freedom. However, giving each other support when you need it helps keep the relationship alive.

8. Stand up for yourself

Even though you love and care for your partner, don’t feel like you have to bend over backwards to agree with everything they say. In fact, a little disagreeing here and there can make you closer as a couple, since you can learn from each other’s differing opinions.

9. Don’t try to change your partner

More than anything, accept the ins and outs of your partner, even if they sometimes get on your nerves. Their imperfections make them beautiful, and obviously, you felt attracted to them for their whole soul, not just the more “tolerable” parts. Accept them as you accept yourself, and your relationship will only continue to blossom.

10. Make him/her feel special

Sometimes, relationships can grow stale if two people don’t keep putting in the effort that they used to in the beginning stages of the relationship. Buy him or her flowers randomly, or treat your lover to a fancy date out on the town. Everyone likes to feel wanted and important, but sometimes that gets pushed to the wayside in committed relationships. Even if life gets busy, take the time to make your love feel that rush of excitement and joy they felt when they first met you – it will help keep the spark alive in the relationship.

5 Types of Pain You Should Never Ignore

We all deal with minor aches and pains in everyday life, from dull headaches to joint pain to sore muscles. Unfortunately, we can’t avoid pain altogether during our human experience. But luckily, most pain doesn’t signal anything wrong going on beneath the surface.

However, you should take the following types of pain seriously. And it is imperative to seek advice from a wellness professional as soon as possible to get it checked out.

Five Types of Pain Many People Ignore, Even Though They Shouldn’t

Here are five types of pain you should never ignore. If you experience these symptoms, you need to seek medical attention.
pain1. Chest pain

Heart problems most commonly cause chest pain. However, it can also signal problems with the lungs, esophagus, ribs, muscles, or nerves. Approximately 25% of the U.S. experiences chest pain unrelated to the heart, but you shouldn’t take any chances upon feeling a sharpness in your chest. Pain in this area can point to a severe, life-threatening problem, such as a heart attack, coronary artery disease, myocarditis, or other serious health problems. Other common causes of chest pain include pneumonia, a pulmonary embolism, acid reflux, muscle strain, and pancreatitis.

2. Middle back pain along with a fever

Experts also warn that experiencing pain in the middle of your back, fever, vomiting, chills, and confusion, can signal a kidney infection. If the pain persists during urination, this strongly suggests a kidney infection. Because the kidneys are located in the back of the abdomen, back pain usually accompanies the infection. The kidneys filter blood, remove waste, and balance fluids and electrolytes. Bacteria in the urinary tract cause a kidney infection, so if you feel middle back pain and experience fever along with it, see a doctor as soon as possible.

3. Pain on the lower right side of your abdomen

Feeling a sharp, stabbing pain on the lower right side of the abdomen usually signals one thing: appendicitis. While we don’t need our appendix to function properly, appendicitis can be fatal if not treated promptly. The appendix extends from the large intestine, and if left inflamed, it will eventually burst, leaking toxic fluids into the abdominal cavity. In turn, this can lead to the inflammation of the abdominal cavity. That dire situation can be fatal unless treated with powerful antibiotics.

If you feel pain in this area of your abdomen, loss of appetite, vomiting or nausea, a high fever, an inability to pass gas, and abdominal swelling, see a doctor immediately.

pop meme

4. Splitting headaches that come on without warning

We all get headaches occasionally, usually from work strain, a hard workout, not eating enough, or dehydration. These headaches tend to go away after we relax, take a quick nap, or take pain medicine.

However, feeling unbearable, blinding sensations in your head suddenly can signal something more serious. Called thunderclap headaches, they can point to many severe health problems, including an aneurysm, a blood clot, meningitis, a rupture of the blood vessel in the brain, a tumor in the brain, or a tear in the lining of an artery.

If you experience severe pain in your head for more than a few days and notice nausea, vomiting, and neck and lower back pain, consult your doctor as soon as possible.

5. Tooth or jaw discomfort that wakes you up at night

According to reports, between 50 to 96 percent of adults experience teeth grinding or bruxism. Since it’s such an expected behavior, many people think nothing of it and ignore the symptoms associated with tooth grinding. However, leaving it unchecked for an extended period can lead to severe tooth and jaw problems, such as fracturing or total loss of teeth, as well as changing the appearance of your face.

It can be difficult to find out if you grind your teeth during sleep if it doesn’t wake you up at night. Common signs of teeth grinding include a dull headache and sore jaw upon waking in the morning. Most of the time, tooth grinding indicates underlying stress. But you can combat this unconscious behavior by using a nightguard while you sleep.

pain

Final Thoughts on Identifying Pain and Understanding What Causes It

Pain is a signal or message from your brain and body. It alerts you that something inside you is awry. This signal from your body is not something to take lightly. So this information is imperative–don’t ignore it if it persists for a short time. If the pain becomes severe or lasts for a short while, contact your doctor. A medical professional can give you the proper guidance and advise you of whether you can treat the issue at home or seek treatment immediately.

15 Reasons You’re Always Tired

At some point in our hectic schedule, we sometimes are so tired that we want nothing more than to crawl back under the covers for the rest of the day. It’s no wonder that we feel this way… Feeling this way from time to time is perfectly normal. We inevitably get tired from doing errands, being at work eight hours a day, picking up our kids from school, and all the other responsibilities we have.

However, feeling tired most of the time can signal something deeper than just drowsiness. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, more than one million Americans suffer from chronic fatigue.

Suppose you feel tired more often than not and can’t pinpoint if you engage in the following everyday habits. Indeed, this information could give you the answer you’ve been looking for.

Here are 15 reasons you’re always tired

Once you understand why you feel fatigued, you will be able to plan your recovery.


tired
1. You’re dehydrated

According to studies conducted at the University of Connecticut’s Human Performance Laboratory, even mild dehydration can lead to a significant drop in energy levels, mood, and cognitive abilities.

In the studies, dehydration affected those who had just walked for 40 minutes on a treadmill and those who sat at rest equally.

This data means that humans need to stay hydrated during any activities.

“Even mild dehydration that can occur during the course of our ordinary daily activities can degrade how we are feeling – especially for women, who appear to be more susceptible to the adverse effects of low levels of dehydration than men,” says Harris Lieberman, a co-author of the study and a research psychologist with the Military Nutrition Division, U.S. Army Research Institute of Environmental Medicine in Natick, Massachusetts.

“In both sexes, these adverse mood changes may limit the motivation required to engage in even moderate aerobic exercise. Mild dehydration may also interfere with other daily activities, even when there is no physical demand component present.”

To figure out how much water you should drink, take your weight, divide that number by half, and drink that number of ounces of water per day.

2. You skip meals, which makes you tired

We need constant energy throughout our day. This need is especially true for those who work highly demanding jobs and have other responsibilities outside of work.

We obtain our energy mostly through the nutrients in our food, so when you skip meals, your body’s energy stores become depleted, leaving you feeling lethargic.

Make sure to eat small meals throughout the day full of healthy, whole foods such as fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds, and grains to keep your energy levels high and get all the nutrients you require.

3. You get on your phone or laptop right before bed

Unfortunately, much of our society keep their phones and laptops almost permanently attached to them, staying on them most of the day. We check our emails and Facebook notifications first thing in the morning. Then we repeat this ritual right before bed each night.

However, various studies have proven that exposure to the harsh blue and white lights emanating from digital devices can disrupt the chemicals in our brains, specifically the hormone melatonin. Melatonin helps control waking and sleeping cycles.

So any imbalances in this vitally important hormone can cause you to lose a significant amount of sleep.

Try coming home from work and reading books or playing board games with your family instead of automatically scrolling through Facebook or playing Candy Crush. In fact, you will find you’ll feel a lot more relaxed, and therefore able to sleep better at night.

stress meme4. You eat a diet high in fat, making you tired

Studies have shown that consuming a diet high in fat can lead to daytime drowsiness and an inability to concentrate. A diet high in carbohydrates has the exact opposite effect. Ensure to eat plenty of healthy carbohydrates such as fruits, brown or wild rice, and sweet potatoes.

On the other hand, you should avoid foods cooked in grease and heavy oils. While fats should make up a portion of your diet, opt for nutritious sources of fat like avocados, nuts, and seeds.

5. You drink alcohol before going to bed

Many people think that drinking a glass of wine or two before bed will help them fall asleep faster. Although it initially works, it spikes your insulin levels eventually. Then it causes you to toss and turn in the middle of the night.

Researchers at Brown University found that drinking alcohol in the evening hours stimulates the body and mind much more than at any other time of the day.

Therefore, if you do drink alcohol, make sure to consume it earlier in the day. That way, you can have a restful night’s sleep.

6. Lack of exercise

A sedentary lifestyle will make you feel sluggish and constantly tired. When you are physically active, your body releases endorphins, which are chemicals that make you feel happier. You’ll feel motivated to stay physically active because of how much energy you’ll have more energy and feel better.

7. Anemia

Anemia causes fatigue and tiredness. This condition is the lack of red blood cells that carry oxygen to your tissues. It’s sometimes called low hemoglobin. Low iron levels can cause anemia. A simple blood test will determine if you’re deficient in iron and anemic.

8. Insomnia causes someone to be always tired

Insomnia is a sleep disorder that prevents falling asleep or staying asleep. It is a common cause of fatigue. Be sure to avoid caffeine some hours before bed and try to wind down before bed. Turn off your smartphone and computer at least one hour before you go to bed. Blue screens from electronic devices disrupt sleep.

9. Diabetes

If you’re always tired, it could signify that you have diabetes. Diabetes is an ailment where your body can’t make enough insulin. This condition causes high blood sugar. High blood sugar causes the following:

  • Fatigue and always tired
  • Lack of concentration
  • Irritability
  • Weight gain

If you have unexplained fatigue for an extended period, be sure to talk with your doctor.

10. Thyroid disorder

Thyroid disorders can have a significant impact on your energy level and mood. Two common thyroid conditions are:

  • Hypothyroidism-This is an underactive thyroid, feeling sluggish, constantly tired, depressed, and weight gain.
  • Hyperthyroid-Anxiety, insomnia, irritability, and restlessness

11. Depression

If you feel depressed, you will lack energy and feel always tired. If you think you’re suffering from depression, be sure to talk to your doctor. Many helpful treatments available can improve how you feel and get you back on track with your life.

12. Low-grade infection

Your tiredness could be because of an infection, especially if you have symptoms like a low-grade infection, loss of appetite, or shortness of breath. If your fatigue worsens after a week, be sure to talk with your doctor. They will run blood tests to check for infections or other illnesses. Don’t ignore a low-grade infection. It could be a symptom of a severe condition, such as these:

  • Bone infection
  • Appendicitis
  • Meningitis
  • Sinus infection
  • Mononucleosis
  • Leukemia
  • Urinary tract disease (UTI)

13. Stress Causes People to Feel Always Tired

Stress can cause fatigue. When you’re experiencing stress, your body releases extra cortisol and adrenaline. In small amounts, having excess cortisol and adrenaline in your body is okay, but if you’re constantly in a state of stress, your body will high alert. You’ll always feel tired. If your stress levels continue at this rate, it can lead to an autoimmune condition called Addison’s disease, where your body no lower produces enough adrenaline or cortisol. People who have Addison’s disease must take a corticosteroid to make up for the lack of corticosteroids in their bodies.

14. Medications

Certain medications cause you to feel constantly exhausted. If you started taking a new medication, be sure to read the side effects. Fatigue is a common side effect of various over-the-counter and prescription drugs. Medicines that cause tiredness include:

  • Antihistamines
  • Antidepressants
  • Muscle relaxants
  • Beta-blockers
  • Narcotics
  • Benzodiazepines

emotionally stable

15. Too much caffeine, a surprising reason for being always tired

Even though caffeine perks you up in the morning, drinking too much can have the opposite effect. Too much caffeine leaves you with side effects such as

  • High blood pressure
  • Insomnia
  • Anxiety
  • Racing heart
  • Jitters

As the caffeine wears off, you’ll feel a physical crash, making you feel fatigued. Remember, numerous soft drinks contain caffeine as well as some sports drinks.

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10 Ways To Avoid Mental Burnout

According to the American Institute of Stress, job stress comprises most of the mental stress that adults feel in today’s world, and this stress costs U.S. industries $300 billion a year.

However, on top of keeping our jobs, we have many other responsibilities on our plates, too. We must take care of our kids, do household chores, pay bills, and somewhere in the mix, find time to take care of ourselves. After a while, we tend to get lost in this vicious cycle of life, our brains feel like zombie mush, and we simply feel that we can’t do it anymore.

If you have felt this way, don’t worry; many people get “mental burnout” at some point in their lives, but you can take a few precautions against feeling like this in the future.

Here are ten ways to avoid mental burnout:

1. Start making to-do lists each day.

No one can get everything done in one day, so start assigning tasks to each day of the week so that you can spread them out. Obviously, you need to factor in deadlines when you make your to-do list, but aside from that, make your lists according to convenience. Are you doing any errands that are in close proximity to each other? If so, you can knock those all out in one day, most likely. Are some errands going to take longer than others? If so, you probably don’t want to schedule too much on days when you have more tedious errands.

Simply make schedules that work for you, and don’t try to cram too much into one day.

2. Don’t take on more work than you can reasonably handle.

Don’t try to please everyone; if you can’t get something done, let them know, and don’t feel bad about it. While we might feel like superheros at times, we can’t possibly keep going at such a rapid pace without burning out eventually. In order to keep your mental health intact, you need to learn how to say no sometimes. It doesn’t make you a bad person; it makes you human. If you don’t think about your health, no one will, so make sure to turn down anything that doesn’t align with your highest truth.

3. Delegate tasks to others when you can.

Expanding on the last point, you can always ask others to take on work that you can’t. People usually love to help others out, because it makes them feel useful. Maybe one of your coworkers can write that memo instead of you, or maybe your kids can help cook dinner a few nights a week. Remember, no one person can do everything all the time, so don’t stress yourself out by trying to control and take charge of every aspect of life.

4. Make some “you” time each day.

Without making some time for yourself, you will find that you feel disconnected and downright lost in life. You need some time to go within and recharge your batteries, so allow yourself that time to just do nothing. Take a relaxing bubble bath at night, or curl up with your favorite book. Don’t bend over backwards so much for others that you forget to make time for the person that needs you the most – yourself.

5. Use some of your time to give to others.

Although “Me” time is important, we can’t lose sight of our true mission on Earth: to give love to others, and offer a helping hand to those who need it. If you have some spare time during the week, maybe try volunteering a few of those days. Not only will it bring you fulfillment, but it will give you time to connect with others in a positive way, which will alleviate stress.

6. Have a regular exercise routine.

Nothing tells stress to hit the road quite like exercising. It gets your blood pumping, your heart racing, and those endorphins rushing through your body. Without exercise, we lose our mental clarity, feel lethargic, and in general, get stressed over the littlest things. Make sure to incorporate some sort of exercise into your daily routine, so your stress doesn’t build up inside of you.

7. Have a healthy outlet for your stress.

In addition to exercise, you can also utilize other methods for controlling stress. You could write in a journal, meditate, do some gardening, get some coffee with friends, or whatever activity makes you feel good. It helps to have something to do outside of work, because we obviously didn’t come here to just put in hours at our jobs. We came here to embody pure joy, so make sure to find activities in your life that bring you that feeling.

8. Make time to spend with your friends and family.

Our friends and family keep us grounded, make us feel protected, and give us a safe place to run when life gets too overwhelming. Schedule some time during the week to catch up with the people who truly care about you.

9. Don’t put unreasonable demands on yourself and others.

This can apply to anyone, but mostly, the perfectionists, the Type A’s, and the overachievers need to hear this more than anyone. Remember, you don’t always have to be productive in order to feel worthwhile. You don’t always need to take charge of everything in order to validate your existence. Let go a little bit, and take some time to have fun and relax. Do what you can each day, but don’t overwork yourself (or others). Loosen the reigns, and you will find that mental burnouts are fewer and farther between.

10. Choose a job that matches your interests and passion in life.

Since our jobs account for most of our stress, it would make sense to choose one that brings us fulfillment. If we must work 40+ hours a week, do we really want to spend all that time doing something that we dread? Try to pick a career that doesn’t really feel like work, and this will go a long way in alleviating mental burnout.

11 Signs It’s Time For A Relationship Makeover

Your relationship is stuck in a rut, wearing old habits and worn out arguments. Time to makeover your relationship if it’s showing some of these 11 signs.

11 Signs It’s Time For A Relationship Makeover

relationship

1. You’ve stopped listening.

Where did your partner say they were going to be tonight? You don’t know because you were tuning them out while they were speaking. Misunderstandings and miscommunication lead to hurt feelings. By not listening, you are inflicting hurt on your partner.

Michael P. Nichols, author of The Lost Art of Listening: How Learning to Listen Can Improve Relationships, says that ‘We hurt each other unnecessarily by failing to acknowledge what the other one has to say.’ Nichols says that it can be a burden at times to sustain the attention that is required to deeply listen, but that is all part of a healthy relationship.

2. You’re emotionally cheating.

You might need a relationship makeover if you have kept in touch with past romantic partners or are checking out potential new ones. You haven’t actually done the deed with anyone yet, but you’re keeping your options open. If you have a friend to whom you confide things that you wouldn’t tell your current partner, and who you think has romantic possibilities, you are an emotional cheater.

Cyber infidelity is a high tech way to cheat on your spouse, and social media makes this easy. If they find out about your online fling, your partner may be just as upset as if you had actually hooked up. A study in the Journal of Couple and Relationship Therapy found that only 2.9% of people who read a story about an online fling would not consider it to be cheating on a relationship.

3. You can’t picture the future with your partner.

Where will you be in 5 years? Maybe single, but probably not with your current partner. If you can’t imagine your future together then it’s possible that you don’t want to have a future in this relationship.

4. You’re planning for the end.

It’s not over yet, but you’re already wondering about the next phase of your life after this relationship is over. If you’re not the bread winner in the relationship, you may have even started stashing money away, knowing that you’ll need it for when you two separate. The fact that you’re planning for when, not if, you even ever would break up, is a sign that it’s time for a relationship makeover.

5. You’re physically unavailable.

Your libido is either dead or on life support. You can’t remember how many days, weeks or months it has been since you had sex. The last time your partner acted romantic toward you, you either weren’t in the mood or you turned them down because you were upset about something that they had done earlier.

6. Communication has broken down.

Your relationship is due for a makeover if you’re not able to express your feelings to your partner without an argument. If you say that you’re hurt, they get defensive. If your partner says that they’re stressed, you respond with anger. Emotions are all over the place and no one is feeling supported.

7. You have changed.

Talk about a makeover; if you think back on who you were in the beginning of your relationship, that person is not who you are now. You’ve changed in significant ways and your partner either hasn’t changed or has grown apart from you.

8. You’re an emotional wreck.

Negative emotions that you used to experience less often have been much more common. Depression, anxiety, anger, fear, frustration and/or stress have become feelings that you’re way too familiar with now.

Related article: 5 Signs You Need Emotional Healing

9. You spend less time together.

You used to go everywhere together, but lately your partner and you head off somewhere on your own. If you’re enjoying time away from your partner rather than time with them, it’s a sign that it’s time for a relationship makeover.

10. You keep score.

Every time your partner says or does something to hurt you, you make a mental note; Partner 1, Me 0. Every time you feel neglected, unappreciated, or unloved, your partner racks up another point. This is not a game. Your partner doesn’t win by racking up points, you lose by counting them.

For that matter, why are you only scoring the negatives? It’s definitely time for a relationship makeover if you never score the hugs or compliments. Or maybe the problem is that you haven’t received any lately?

11. You’ve thought about going to a counselor.

Do you need a professional to help you? It could be the step that gives your relationship a makeover. Many couples who seek out a therapist regret not having done so earlier.

If the previous ten signs are pointing to something needing to change, seeking the help of a therapist is a good solution. Couples can get expert guidance in person, or even in a confidential online therapy session.

 

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