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11 Life Lessons To Learn From John Lennon

John Lennon managed to pack a lot of living into his too short, 40-year life. He left his love of life, love, and creativity for us to learn from. Lennon’s writings and his voice from the interviews that he granted were recorded for posterity.

Here are eleven valuable life lessons that we can learn from the genius mind of John Lennon.

11 Life Lessons to Learn From John Lennon

john-lennon

1. Love is all you need, but it takes effort.

“Love is like a precious plant. You can’t just accept it and leave it in the cupboard or just think it’s going to get on by itself. You’ve got to keep on watering it. You’ve got to really look after it and nurture it.”

“Love is like a flower – you’ve got to let it grow.”

2. If we want peace, we can have it now.

“Peace is not something you wish for; it’s something you make, something you do, something you are, and something you give away.”

“Declare it. Just the same way we declare war. That is how we will have peace, we just need to declare it.”

“If everyone demanded peace instead of another television set, then there’d be peace.”

3. We can find God within ourselves.

“I believe in God, but not as one thing. Not as an old man in the sky. I believe that what people call God is something in all of us. I believe that what Jesus and Mohammed and Buddha and all the rest said was right. It’s just that the translations have gone wrong.”

“God is a concept by which we measure our pain.”

4. Experiences of the mind are real.

“I believe in everything until it’s disproved. So I believe in fairies, the myths, dragons. It all exists, even if it’s in your mind.”

“Surrealism had a great effect on me because then I realized that the imagery in my mind wasn’t insanity. Surrealism to me is reality.”

“Reality leaves a lot to the imagination.”

5. We should be who we are.

“I’m not going to change the way I look or the way I feel to conform to anything. I’ve always been a freak. So I’ve been a freak all my life and I have to live with that, you know. I’m one of those people.”

“It doesn’t matter how long my hair is or what colour my skin is or whether I’m a woman or a man.”

“It’s weird not to be weird.”

“You don”t need anybody to tell you who you are or what you are. You are what you are!”

6. Don’t let other people dictate your choices.

“Rituals are important. Nowadays it’s hip not to be married. I’m not interested in being hip.”

“Trying to please everybody is impossible – if you did that, you’d end up in the middle with nobody liking you. You’ve just got to make the decision about what you think is your best, and do it.”

7. Fame isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

“The postman wants an autograph. The cab driver wants a picture. The waitress wants a handshake. Everyone wants a piece of you.”

“It was like being in the eye of a hurricane. You’d wake up in a concert and think, Wow, how did I get here?”

8. Materialism is overrated.

“Possession isn’t nine-tenths of the law. It’s nine-tenths of the problem.”

“I was asked in an interview which was more important: money or love? I told the interviewer that if he had to ask the question, he wouldn’t understand the answer.”

9. Take pride in your work.

“If being an egomaniac means I believe in what I do and in my art or music, then in that respect you can call me that… I believe in what I do, and I’ll say it.”

“My role in society, or any artist’s or poet’s role, is to try and express what we all feel. Not to tell people how to feel. Not as a preacher, not as a leader, but as a reflection of us all.”

10. Family is everything, said John Lennon.

“He didn’t come out of my belly, but my God, I’ve made his bones, because I’ve attended to every meal, and how he sleeps, and the fact that he swims like a fish because I took him to the ocean. I’m so proud of all those things. But he is my biggest pride.”

“But I can be alone without Yoko, but I just have no wish to be. There’s no reason on earth why I should be alone without Yoko. There’s nothing more important than our relationship, nothing. And we dig being together all the time. Both of us could survive apart but what for? I’m not going to sacrifice love, real love for any whore or any friend or any business, because in the end you’re alone at night and neither of us want to be. And you can’t fill a bed with groupies. It doesn’t work. I don’t want to be a swinger. I’ve been through it all and nothing works better than to have someone you love hold you.”

11. You can free yourself from fear.

“Why in the world are we here? Surely not to live in pain and fear.”

“I’m not afraid of death because I don’t believe in it. It’s just getting out of one car, and into another.”

8 Health Warnings Your Fingernails May Be Sending You

We usually take our fingernails for granted unless it’s time to clean them or groom them. While you’re ignoring them, your nails are sending you a message about your health and well-being. If you’ve not given them much thought before, it might be time to pay attention to these 8 health warnings that your fingernails are trying to send you.

Nail Function

Ever get a splinter under your nail? Do you wonder how something so small can hurt so much? The amount of pain that you feel is due to all of those sensitive nerve endings beneath the surface. Our sense of touch provides valuable information to us about our environment.

Our fingernails are like armor for the nerve endings of the finger. As a hard, protective coating for your fingertip, they provide shelter for the nerves and blood vessels.

In addition to protection, they also enhance our sense of touch.

As you press down to touch something, the nail acts as a surface to push against.

Parts of the Nail

Our fingernails have several working parts. These are the nail root, nail bed, nail plate, and cuticle. These structures each have their own part to play in the growth of healthy fingernails.

The nail root is the white half-moon of your fingernail. The root generates the growth of the hard fingernail. The nail bed contains the nerves and blood vessels. The hard fingernail plate is made of keratin. The cuticle makes a waterproof barrier between the fingernail plate and the skin of the finger.

Why Our Nails Reflect Health

Since they take time to grow, just like our hair, our fingernails can reflect health problems that happen over time. Dermatologist Christine Poblete-Lopez, MD., says ‘Your nails are a very good reflection of your health. Many things can occur in the nails that can signify systemic or skin problems.’

8 Health Warnings Your Fingernails May Be Sending You

health-fingernails

1. Ridges down the nail

Ridges are easily fixed cosmetically by filing. But ridges growing down the length of your fingernail could be a health warning. Ridges can develop in our fingernails naturally as we age but they can also be due to poor nutrition, thyroid disease, or even kidney failure.

2. Ridges across the nail

Ridges horizontally across the fingernail can occur at the time of an illness to the rest of the body. The line will continue to grow toward the tip over time but it formed at the time of the illness. Chemotherapy, injury, and Reynaud’s disease can also cause horizontal lines to appear on the fingernail.

3. Brittle

Fingernails that break easily can be strengthened by taking B7 supplements (Biotin). Nail fungus, and low thyroid, or nail psoriasis could also be the cause of brittle nails.

4. Yellow nails

Nails can become discolored due to prolonged use of nail polish, so if you regularly use nail lacquer, it may not be a concern. However, yellow nails can have a much more serious cause. Yellowing of the nails can be a warning sign of lymphodema, tuberculosis, or liver disease.

5. Other discoloration

Yellowing is most common, but nails can turn other colors as well. Dark stripes on your fingernail are concerning as they could indicate a form of skin cancer. White lines on the fingernail might be a warning sign of liver disease or malnutrition.

White nails (as opposed to pink past the nail root) are due to low blood flow to the nail bed. Thus, white nails can warn of liver or kidney disease, heart failure, diabetes, anemia, overactive thyroid or malnutrition.

Dark streaks under the nail that usually run vertically are usually no major health concern. They are most commonly the result of broken blood vessels and a result of injury, not illness.

6. Dents or Pitting

Dents can appear as small pits across the surface of the fingernail or a single indentation in the fingernail plate. Although a dent in your fingernail can be a result of an injury to your finger, it could also be a warning of reactive arthritis. Other health-related causes of dents in the fingernails include psoriasis, eczema, or alopecia areata (hair loss).

7. Indented Fingernails

Fingernails that become recessed into the nail bed are sometimes called spoon-shaped because in some cases they could actually hold a drop of liquid.

Spoon nails can be a warning sign of thyroid disease or iron deficiency.

8. Fingernail Separation

When the fingernail plate separates from the nail bed. If you didn’t simply smash your finger in something, this splitting can be due to many different health problems. Thyroid disease, poor circulation, and lupus are possible medical disorders associated with separation.

Most commonly, this separation is from nail fungus. Separation due to nail fungus is usually found on the outer edges of the nail back toward the cuticle. A dermatologist can help you with a remedy for nail fungus.

You can use the appearance of your fingernails as an early self-diagnosis tool. If you are experiencing these fingernail symptoms and have a concern, consult with your health care professional to see if you have any underlying health problems.

5 Signs You’re In Love With the Wrong Person

Many people know what it takes to maintain balanced, happy relationships in life: love, trust, compassion, compromise, laughter, a deep connection, and respect, to name a few.

However, a lot of us don’t even recognize if we’re in love with the wrong person…

To cultivate supportive, healthy relationships in life, you have to find out what you don’t want, and sometimes that involves being in the wrong relationship.

Here’s how to tell:

5 Telling Signs You’re In Love with the Wrong Person

fell in love

1. You aren’t comfortable spending time apart

At the beginning of a relationship, you naturally want to spend as much time with the person as you can since everything about it feels fresh and new, and you absolutely love the person you’re with.

Of course, you still feel the same about your guy or girl after a few months, but you might crave some time away from them occasionally to continue your own personal growth.

While your partner should be a huge part of your life, it’s important to make sure they’re not the only part of your life. Research shows that once a relationship becomes stagnant, people start to forget why they’re in the relationship to begin with, and look for a way out so they can feel that initial spark again with someone new.

To avoid having this happen, hanging out with friends or spending time alone is important in keeping the spark alive in the relationship and being able to grow evenly during time spent apart.

If this time apart doesn’t feel comfortable, there is an underlying trust issue, and since trust is a cornerstone of any relationship, you may want to reassess your relationship.

2. You don’t understand exactly how to make the other feel truly loved.

We all have different preferences when it comes to receiving love. In the wrong relationship, one or both of the partners fail to understand the others needs. If you want to care for them in the best way possible, but don’t know how, remember that something as small as a cup of coffee in the morning or a warm dinner at night can be just the right touch to fixing a wronged relationship.

This is effectively done through the right communication. You don’t expect the other to read your mind. You learn, get to know your partner and act in a way that makes them fall in love with you even more.

3. Living in the past.

Focusing on the wrongdoings and mistakes that people in your past made will only make you feel negative about your current relationship. Let go and leave those relationships where they belong – fixating on prior pain will only cause more to appear…what you resist persists.

4. Someone is withholding the truth.

When asked about the most important quality a person can possess, most people quickly say “trust.” If two people don’t have that, the foundation of the relationship will quickly crumble once the truth finally comes to the surface. Healthy love requires two people committed to sharing their darkest secrets and most authentic self no matter what.

love quote

5. You can’t handle problems effectively.

In both relationships and life, problems inevitably happen, and knowing how to deal with them and figure out solutions together can strengthen your relationship – and keep it running smoothly. If you or your partner are having a hard time tackling problems as a team and talking things through to solve the problem, it may mean that there’s a happier and longer-lasting relationship elsewhere.

A couple married for 75 years said that the key to how to make love work long-term is communication, even if that means arguing in order to solve a problem. Whatever your style of problem-solving may be, if you are your partner can resolve things quickly and easily without too much conflict, chances are you have the ability to make things work in the future.

According to Dr. Preston Ni, “Successful couples have the ability to solve problems and let [them] go.”

If both you and your partner have similar problem-solving strategies, you can get through the trials in life just as well as the triumphs. Don’t give up right away, but give it some time to see if you can learn to deal with problems as a team.

5 Ways To End Abuse In A Relationship

If you’ve been in an abusive relationship, you know this feeling…  Your fight or flight response kicks in when you have to interact with them. An abusive person is someone who thrives on power and control. They could be your coworker, friend, neighbor or spouse. They make you feel depressed, angry, stressed, frustrated and anxious.

To be clear, physical abuse in a relationship is never okay. If you encounter physical violence, you should get away from the person who has assaulted you and get to safety immediately. The violence should be reported to police so they can prosecute the offender.

The law isn’t able to help protect you from emotional abusers unless they’ve threatened violence or retaliation. In the workplace, emotional abuse could be grounds for a case of harassment, so report the incident to your human resources department right away.

In your low emotional state at the hands of an abuser, it may seem impossible to believe that your mental happiness and well-being are within your power to control. But by loving yourself enough to say no to abuse, you take the power to hurt away from your abuser and the power to heal back in your hands. Here are 5 ways to end the abuse…

Here are 5 Ways to End Abuse in a Relationship

1. Recognize Your Worth

Someone who is abusive will continue to belittle you and make you feel less than you are. It’s not you, it’s them. The words that they say are more a reflection of how they feel inside. When someone says “You’re ugly,” that means they feel that they are ugly on the inside.

2. Reclaim Your Power

Words have such power, especially when we take them personally. If you have to interact with an abusive person, tell them that you are open to receiving feedback, but that you won’t accept personal attacks. Ultimately, you can choose to leave the place where the abusive person is if they refuse to accept your terms.

When someone is controlling you through abuse, it is important to take control back from them. You have the power to change yourself, not them. Your response to their abuse is what you have control over.

When you respond to anger with anger, your blood pressure and stress levels rise. Rather than responding with anger in your tone, respond peacefully and with as much self-love as you can muster. Try saying “I deserve to be treated with respect. Your words are disrespectful to me and I will not talk to you unless you can speak to me with kindness.”

3. Surround Yourself With Positive People

Since it is unhealthy to your emotional well-being to be around an abuser, avoid spending time with them as much as possible. Instead, find uplifting people who praise your accomplishments and cheer you on to greatness. People who have kind, loving dispositions are going to be a wonderful support system for you as you recover from the abusive relationship.

Your family and friends may not recognize that you are being emotionally abused in your relationship and you may not feel comfortable discussing the abuse with people who are close to you.

You can find an abuse support group or anti-bullying support hotline to help you. When you are struggling to heal from an abusive relationship, search for a licensed counselor to speak to about healing from the abuse.

4. Build Mental Armor

Build up your defenses, not by reacting defensively to the abuser but by protecting your mind from their hate. If your abuser says, “You’re incompetent,” respond by saying “I’m an incredibly competent person,” to yourself or aloud repeatedly until you believe it.

Choose not to believe their lies, and stop allowing them to manipulate you. By accepting the abuse, you are their willing victim. Dr. Steven Stosny, author of Love Without Hurt: Turn Your Resentful, Angry, or Emotionally Abusive Relationship into a Compassionate, Loving One, says that you can overcome a victim identity “through a strong identification with your inherent strengths, talents, skills, power, and appreciation of the self as a unique, ever-growing, competent, and compassionate person. This is accomplished through an emphasis on healing, growth, and empowerment.”

5. Forgive, Forget and Move On

Forgiveness is an incredibly powerful tool. It is a way of releasing pain rather than holding on to it. In a study in the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, Forgiveness Therapy showed the most promise as a way to overcome emotional trauma as compared to other therapies. The group that was treated with Forgiveness Therapy showed greater signs of improvement over five years.

According to the book, Forgiveness Therapy, published by the American Psychological Association, Forgiveness Therapy has been shown to be a “pivotal process in helping clients resolve anger over betrayals, relieve depression and anxiety, and restore peace of mind.”

Recognize your bravery for identifying the emotional abuse in your relationship and having the courage to do something about it. You are worthy of love. You are worthy of respect. You are worthy of healthy relationships.

6 Things Your Body Is Trying to Warn You About Your Health

We spend a lot of time looking in mirrors in our world today. But we don’t usually equate how we look to our overall health. How we look on the outside reveals a lot about our health on the inside, from the color and texture of our skin to the clarity of our eyes to the smoothness of our fingernails. You can tell a lot about a person’s health based on their outer appearance, and certain issues like hair loss, wrinkles, and acne can point to underlying problems that need attention.

So, what are your body parts revealing about your health?

We’ll go over major parts of the body and discuss the red flags that your health could be in danger.

health

1 –  What the Eyes Reveal About Health

Our eyes are pretty important. That’s because they empower us to take in all the beauty in the world through our unique perceptions. However, to keep them operating at their highest capacity, you need to take care of them by eating well, drinking enough water, and getting enough rest.

Bags under the eyes could point to fluid retention. But what causes this? It stems from eating too much salt, drinking excess alcohol, which creates bloating, or other issues, such as underactive thyroid or kidney problems. You might also have unknown food allergies to things like milk or wheat, which your doctor can test you for.

Another common eye issue people experience is yellowing of the eyes, which can come from liver diseases. See a wellness physician for further testing if you notice your eyes have a yellow tint.

Eating a whole food, plant-based diet, drinking enough water, and getting rest and adequate exercise will keep your eyes vibrant and healthy.

2 – Healthy Skin

As our body’s largest and fastest-growing organ, our skin tells us significant information about our overall health. For example, wrinkles are usually associated with aging, but did you know they also could be a sign of osteoporosis? A study found that early-menopausal women with excessive wrinkles also had lower bone density than other women.

Raised red patches on the skin usually mean you have psoriasis. This condition stems from an imbalance of immune cells that trigger inflammation in the body and therefore, on the skin.

Many people suffer from dry, itchy skin, and while the culprit is usually cold weather, intensely itchy skin could point to a more serious issue, such as thyroid problems, renal disease, or certain cancers, according to Marina Peredo, MD, assistant clinical professor of dermatology at Mount Sinai Hospital.

Finally, acne and red bumps on the skin can signal an underlying psychological issue, such as stress, anxiety, or depression. Many people that suffer from these mental problems deal with them by picking at the skin, leaving red abrasions all over their bodies. Still, what if you have difficulty coping with your emotions? Try deep meditation, breathing exercises, or working out to release these feelings.

3 – Hair

Many people attribute hair loss to aging, but even younger men and women can experience drastic hair loss due to other problems. Hair loss can have numerous causes, such as stress, nutrient deficiencies, pregnancy, medications, birth control pills, weight loss, and other issues. Ideally, we want our hair to look shiny, vibrant, and soft. Of course, we can attain this through a healthy diet, plenty of water, sleep, exercise, and emotional and mental stability.

4 – Lips

Your lips should ideally look luscious and soft, but dry, cracked lips can point to dehydration, a mild cold, or possibly an immune system disorder called Sjögren’s syndrome, which causes cracked lips and dry eyes, as well as joint pain and dry skin.

5 – Fingernails

Surprisingly, your fingernails can say quite a lot about your health. For instance…

  • Pitted nails may reveal an autoimmune disorder or genetics.
  • Spooned nails, or nails that appear scooped out can signal conditions such as iron deficiency anemia, heart disease, and hypothyroidism.
  • If your nails appear pink only at the tips, and white elsewhere, this could point to an underlying condition such as liver disease, kidney failure, heart failure, or diabetes.
  • Nail separation, where the nail detaches from the nail bed, can sometimes be caused by a consumer product. But at other times, it could signal thyroid disease or psoriasis.

health

6 – Teeth

When most people think of healthy teeth, they picture a white, beaming smile. If your teeth look stunted or uneven, you might grind your teeth in your sleep, which usually is caused by stress. Stress causes your body to produce excess amounts of cortisol. So people who grind their teeth do so to cope with the added stress. If you have osteoporosis, you might notice tooth loss, as this disease affects all the bones in the body. Furthermore, kidney disease has also been associated with tooth decay. If you notice any of these conditions in your teeth, see a doctor as soon as possible.

6 Things to Remember When You Don’t Feel Good Enough

It’s hard to change your mindset when you’re in a slump that makes you feel you’re not good enough. You may be successful at work, school, or sports, but not at having a meaningful relationship, so you feel inadequate. You may wonder how to resist feelings of inadequacy. Here are six things you can do when you don’t feel good enough in life.

1 – Feelings aren’t trustworthy

Your feelings shift like sand on the beach. You might be having a great day, but then you read a couple of blogs, and you suddenly feel discouraged about your life. Your feelings are valid, but they’re not trustworthy. They lead you astray into believing what isn’t true about you and your life. Feelings lead you to compare yourself to others and make you feel you’re not good enough. Comparing yourself to someone else is always a slippery slope. Someone is always prettier, wealthier, has a perfect house, or a better job.

When you compare yourself to others, you either feel superior to them or inferior to them. Neither feeling is healthy or reliable. Don’t allow yourself to stay discouraged and feel inadequate.

Here are some practical ways to remember to rely on facts, not feelings:

feel good enough

Accept how you feel

Accept how you feel, but examine what’s going on in your heart to make you feel this way. Ask yourself some questions such as

  1. Am I feeling discouraged, guilty, or confused?
  2. What made me feel this way?
  3. Could this circumstance have a different perspective?
  4. What should I do with these feelings?
  5. Is there a better way to deal with them?

Keep a journal

Write about how you’re feeling. Journaling about your feelings improves your sense of well-being and relieves your mental anxiety. Writing your feelings decreases depressive thoughts and helps you become more resilient.

Resist negativity

Learn how to express your feelings without berating yourself or going into negative self-talk.

2 – Turn your negative self-talk to positive

Don’t believe everything you hear from yourself. When you’re not feeling good enough, it’s easy to fall into negative self-talk. You may tell yourself things like, “I’m not good enough as a parent” or “I’m not good enough to get that job.” These statements have no hope. They condemn you, leaving you with no sense of a solution. If you’re prone to this kind of self-talk, resist the urge to give in to this negative talk. Instead, when you have these thoughts, counter them with a positive statement.

Saying, “I may not get that job, but I’m going to keep trying” or “I make mistakes as a mom, but I know I love my kids. I can grow to be a better mom.” Don’t let your negative self-talk trick you into feeling inadequate. Turn your negative thoughts into positive, productive steps towards change.

3 – Remember that being perfect isn’t real

Do you feel like other people have perfect lives, but you don’t? Much of the so-called “perfection” you see online are staged or edited to look perfect. In reality, no one or nothing is perfect. Even the most beautiful person will eventually get old and wrinkled. If it’s lived in, the most beautiful home will become dirty and worn out. Because there’s no way, you can be perfect, trying to do so causes you to feel anxious and discouraged. Remember, being perfect is overrated. Being perfect isn’t real.

Social media tries to convince you that there is a certain way to decorate your home and a certain way to dress, but there are many ways to do these things in reality. You can decorate your home in a way that makes you and your family comfortable. You can dress in a way you find attractive. Letting go of the need to be perfect can be life-changing and exhilarating.

difficult

How can you resist perfectionism so you can feel good about yourself?

  • Take a break from social media sites that you’re prone to compare yourself: One woman tells the story of how they had to stop reading homeschool blogs that made her feel deficient, like she wasn’t good enough as a home educator. Once she quit reading these blogs, the pressure lifted. She stopped trying to be like the people in the blogs.
  • Let go of perfectionistic practices: Do you arrange and rearrange your home? Do you change clothes three times before going out? Give yourself a break. Just enjoy your home and your clothing the way they are. If you need new clothes, buy them. If you need to fix up your home, do it. But don’t pressure yourself.
  • Enjoy people more than perfection: If you’re perfectionistic in how you keep your home, maybe it’s time to let things get messy so you can enjoy your life with all its imperfections. It’s easy to focus on the wrong things. Instead of trying to keep your home tidy, focus on taking time to play games with your kids or going out with friends for a meal. Focus more on people than on projects. You may find your life is more fun.

4 – Decide you are good enough

You have the unique power to change the way you feel and think. Choosing to believe that you’re good enough is the key to a better view of yourself. Your words can build up or tear down. It’s your choice about what you believe about yourself. One study found there’s a pattern of behavior in some people who doubt their abilities and struggle with fear of people seeing they’re a fraud. This behavior is called imposter syndrome. Even the most skilled, successful individuals can struggle with imposter syndrome. It can be related to mental health issues, pervasive self-doubt, burnout, and anxiety. Left untreated, it can lead to depression and suicide. If you think you may struggle with imposter syndrome, talk to your doctor about getting help. Talk to a counselor to find relief from this condition, so it doesn’t get out of control.

5 – Find a supportive community

If you struggle with feeling not being good enough, it can help you find yourself in a supportive community. A supportive community can help you get through tough times, whether it’s a bad day at school or a rough day with the kids. Helpful friends and family bring you love and acceptance not based on your performance or appearance but on who you are as a person. Being part of a community gives you the chance to help others and be helped.

Strong social connections lead to a longer life, less loneliness, and isolation. People who lack community are at risk of premature death, depression, and poor health. Having social relationships helps you deal with stress and enjoy better health habits. So, if you’re not in the community, find one so you can begin making solid relationships and break free from feelings of inadequacy.

6 – Grow your faith

Believing that God is at work in your life can help you find relief from feelings of inadequacy. Knowing that you are a child of God allows you to have an identity based on what God says about you rather than how you feel about yourself. This Lauren Daigle song, You Say, sums up the strong identity you have as God’s child when you believe in him. Listen and read the lyrics to yourself when you’re struggling with feelings that you’re not good enough.

feel good enough

Final thoughts on staying positive when you don’t feel good enough

If you’re struggling with feelings of inadequacy, you’re not alone. Even very successful people struggle with feeling like they’re not good enough in some areas of their life. You can do things to help yourself break free from these debilitating feelings. Not trusting your feelings, finding a solid community to build relationships, resisting the urge to use negative self-talk, and remembering that perfection isn’t possible are some things that might help you get out of your slump.

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