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10 Signs You’ve Found A True Gentleman

Gentlemen used to be defined by their aristocratic birth, but these days they are often thought to be a dying breed. From James Bond to Prince Charming, true gentlemen are often the stuff of fantasy.

Think you might have found a true gentleman? Your man might not be born into the life of a gentleman, but if he shows these signs, then he’s on the right track.

10 Signs You’ve Found a True Gentleman

gentleman

1. His heart is in the right place.

He might not always succeed, but your gentleman has good intentions. Doing the right thing isn’t his motto, it’s his way of living. He’s kind even to strangers and inspires kindness in return.

2. He puts others at ease.

People find it easy to talk to him and feel better around him. He can make people comfortable even in the most awkward social settings. Meeting the parents for the first time? Don’t worry, within a half hour; they’re already calling him ‘Son.’ You’ve never waltzed before? He makes you feel like you’ve got moves like Cinderella.

He’s charismatic, and people are drawn to him. He likes to make people laugh and is usually smiling himself. A true gentleman doesn’t have to take a class in etiquette because he can teach it himself.

3. He respects your needs.

He could hold the door for you every time, but if you’ve chosen to show your independence by getting it yourself, he’s supportive of that too. Chivalry isn’t dead to him, but he also knows you can slay a dragon all by yourself.

He cares about you and demonstrates that with his actions. You’ve found a true gentleman if he takes the time to learn what pleases you. Sex with him is more about your pleasure than his. He takes pleasure in doing what makes you happy.

4. He has interests outside of work.

Your gentleman has found a hobby or craft that he’s passionate about. It stimulates his mind and gives him an outlet for his creativity. He could be a culinary genius or a wine aficionado, but something is fascinating to him. He loves sharing his passion with others.

5. He takes pride in his appearance.

You’ve found a true gentleman if he never offends you with his odor or appearance. He combs his hair, shaves or styles his facial hair, he doesn’t wear stained clothes, and he takes care of his physique as well.

He has a unique style that sets him apart from the crowd. He’s more likely to pass on trends in favor of classic styles. His Throwback Thursday photos look just as stylish as the picture you took of him yesterday.

6. He knows himself.

A true gentleman is opinionated but not forceful. He just knows what he likes and doesn’t like. He’s decisive and always stands up for his core values when someone challenges him.

He has conviction in his beliefs, and his moral character is unquestionable. According to The Gentleman’s Journal, a true gentleman says what he means and means what he says. He’s confident without being arrogant.

7. He makes you a priority.

You’ve never felt like he just doesn’t have time for you. Your true gentleman makes eye contact when you speak, and he stops what he’s doing to listen. He makes you feel fascinated by the level of interest that he shows.

8. He likes to learn.

A gentleman never acts like a know-it-all. He gets excited about learning a new skill because he’s happy when his brain is active. He likes to engage with people from other cultures. Thus, he enjoys traveling to new places, discussing politics, or debating. He is open to differing opinions.

He might have a formal education. But it’s just as likely that your true gentleman learned from the School of Hard Knocks. He has a wonderful imagination and can be creative too. He’s likely to be an expert at something.

9. He is honest.

You’ve found a true gentleman if he is true to himself and anyone he’s just met. He has nothing to hide because he’s authentic and real. Lying just isn’t in his character. The only thing a true gentleman would conceal is a surprise for you.

10. He is always in control.

A true gentleman isn’t controlling of others. He maintains control of himself. He knows that emotions can run high at times. But he never lets them see him sweat. He could be stressed, but he looks cool under pressure.

He rarely raises his voice or gets physical when angry, and you’ve never heard him curse. He’s in control of his temper, in fact, you wonder if he even has one.

Final Thoughts on Finding a Gentleman

“I can make a lord, but only God can make a gentleman.” – King James I

If your gentleman has these traits, consider yourself lucky to have found him. He’s a rare one, and all these signs indicate a happy you.

3 Reasons The Law of Attraction Isn’t Working For You

The New Age concept called “The Law of Attraction” basically states that you attract the energy you put out into the world. Whatever thoughts you repeatedly give your energy to, experiences of that nature will show up in your life, simply because you have created them subconsciously. The quote “What you think about, comes about” best summarizes the law of attraction. In order to manifest anything in your life, you have to first bring it into your field of consciousness with your thoughts. In turn, they transform into visions, and then action.

So, if you focus on negative thoughts or people, you will have more negative experiences. Conversely, if you shift your attention to the positive aspects of your life and what feels good, you will see more of that appear in the future. The law of attraction concept has been popularized in recent years due to the book and film “The Secret,” and although it shed much-needed light on one of the most hidden universal truths, it also raised many questions about how people can actually get this to work for them.

Have you have been struggling with the Law of Attraction in your own life? Then you might want to review this short guide of common problems people face, and how to fix them:

1. You focus too much on what you DON’T want, rather than what you do want in your life.

Remember, the Law of Attraction will always work, whether you realize it or not. It obeys your every thought, so if you constantly place your energy on the bills you have to pay, the long hours you work, lack of time for relaxation, etc, it has no choice but to bring MORE of that into your life.

How to fix it: The second you notice your thoughts wandering to negative territory, reign them in and show them the light again. You have the power to control your mind. So exercise your rights and remember that you get to create your experiences based on your predominant thoughts. Start a gratitude journal if you have trouble keeping your mind focused on positive thoughts, or take some quiet time to meditate. Remain grateful for what you do have, and the universe will have no choice but to send you even more things to be thankful for.

law of attraction

2. You put up resistance to changes as you try to implement the Law of Attraction

“What you resist, persists.” Any time you put up walls between you and an experience or person, you will only encounter it more often until you face your fears and confront any challenges head on. Change can seem uncomfortable and scary at times, but you can’t evolve if you don’t allow yourself to transform from a caterpillar into a butterfly. We all have come to Earth to get in touch with our highest selves, and that involves breaking the mold and leaving behind old thought processes and habits in order to reach our full potential.

How to fix it: Instead of focusing so much on how vulnerable you feel from going through changes, just embrace it. Open up your heart and mind to new experiences, and focus on how you can learn and grow from exposing yourself to new people and places rather than the fact that you have put yourself in unfamiliar territory.

Remember this quote to help you out: “Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.” – T. S. Eliot 

3. You have your sights set on the outcome of a situation instead of the present moment.

Trying to control outcomes can easily impede the Law of Attraction from working properly in our lives. Ever since birth, we have been taught to micromanage ourselves and others, and not allow any room for the universe to help us along. We have been fooled into thinking that only the future matters, and the present moment has no value. Remember that the Law of Attraction takes time to manifest what you wish to see, and it doesn’t just transform your life overnight. Try to enjoy the lessons you have been shown from each moment you have been given instead of setting your sights entirely on the future.

None of us truly knows what the future holds, anyhow, so it seems fruitless to fret over something that hasn’t even happened yet that we have limited ability to predict.

How to fix it: Redirect your attention to The Now anytime you catch yourself worrying or contemplating the future too much. It’s fine to have goals and dreams for the future. But when you live solely for the future, you have sacrificed the only time we truly have, which is the present one. Consciously create your reality based on what feels right in your heart, and the universe will always show you the way.

5 Signs You Need Emotional Healing

Have you ever wondered if you’re emotionally healthy? Life is full of challenging events and circumstances that can take a toll on you emotionally. Perhaps you’ve suffered because of trauma or an accident. Maybe your family and friends don’t realize what you’re going through. If you wonder about your emotional health, here are five signs to confirm you need emotional healing.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, in 2019, approximately 51 million adults living in the United States struggled with a mental health condition. That’s one of five adults. These conditions range from severe to mild. Many of these individuals never get proper treatment.

5 Signs you need emotional healing

If you need emotional healing, you may see these signs.

emotional healing

1 – You struggle with daily anxious thoughts if you need emotional healing

One sign you need emotional healing is that you’re constantly worried or anxious. You may feel sad or consumed by worrying about the potential of something bad thing that could happen to you or a loved one. The anxious thoughts may get in the way of your daily life. You may feel hopeless like there’s nothing good happening in your life. If you feel like some of these phrases represent how you’re feeling, then it may be time to reach out for help. If you continue to push forward with these anxious thoughts, they will only get worse. Get the help you need and find relief from feelings of anxiety and worry.

2 – If you need emotional healing you overreact to things

If you overreact to little things all the time, it could mean you’re struggling emotionally. Do you get angry while driving? Do you go off on people when they are rude in a store? Are you getting angry at work regularly? These are signs you may not be emotionally healthy. Do you constantly struggle with feeling

  • Edgy
  • Irritated
  • Impatient
  • Touchy
  • Ready to explode

Having these feelings regularly means you’re not emotionally healthy. If you continue down this road, you’re going to make matters worse. Anger can lead to harming someone or getting yourself in trouble with the law. You can end up with physical problems due to anger, such as these:

  • Heart problems
  • High blood pressure
  • Adrenaline surges that affect your immune system
  • Shorten your life
  • Tense muscles in your neck and back

If you struggle with these intense feelings of anger and frustration every day, try to get help right away. You’re putting yourself and others in danger. Your emotional health is worth the effort. Reach out today to a counselor or therapist in your area to get help with your anger.

3 – Lack of trust

Everyone has people they trust. If the people you work with, your family, or your friends have proven themselves trustworthy, yet you struggle to trust them, this could be a sign that you need emotional healing. Maybe you suspect these people of cheating on you or stealing your money. Maybe you’ve told them things that now you regret and think they’ll use against you. If you’re constantly suspicious of your family and friends, it could be a sign of mental illness. You’re not having rational thoughts. Your lack of trust in anyone isn’t healthy and could lead you to make poor decisions. Emotional healing is important for you. You need the support of family and friends. If you push them away, you will find yourself isolated and lonely, which will only make your emotional struggles worse. Don’t push those who love away. Find help for your lack of trust.

4 – Negative feelings are present if you need emotional healing

Everyone struggles with negative feelings once in a while. But if you’re constantly harboring negative feelings, it’s unhealthy for your mental state. Fear, worry, mistrust, anxiety are all negative and can wear down both your body and your mind. If you find that your day is filled with negative thoughts that lead you to feel sad or discouraged, it could be a sign that you need emotional healing.

Are you able to shake off these negative feelings or do they affect your ability to work or function at home? Can you step back and figure out what causes these feelings, or do they just seem to overtake you without warning? Don’t allow negative feelings to crowd out your joy in life or stop you from doing the things you love.  Turn your negative feeling into more balanced ones. Try things like

  • Journaling: Write down your thoughts every day, especially about what’s bothering you. Look for positive things that you’re grateful for and write these in your journal.
  • Take a walk: Get outside and breathe in fresh air to help rid you of your negative feelings.
  • Exercise: Exercising helps your mind and body feel less stressed and anxious.
  • Eat nutritious foods: Eat a well-balanced diet instead of foods high in fat and sugar. These affect your mood. Eat natural foods instead of processed since they are high in sodium.

5 – Not sleeping well

  • Studies found that individuals who are sleep-deprived are prone to irritability, sadness, frustration, and anger. Lack of sleep puts you in a bad, negative mood. These same studies say lack of sleep can result from a mood disorder. Some psychiatric conditions cause sleep problems like
  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • Bipolar disorder

A lack of sleep also affects your physical health. If you’re not sleeping well, it can cause these adverse outcomes:

  • Type 2 diabetes
  • Heart problems
  • High blood pressure
  • immune problems
  • Inability to concentrate
  • Stroke
  • Lower sex drive

emotional healing

What is emotional healing, and how can you have it?

Having emotional health means you can take control of your feelings, thoughts, and emotions so they don’t interfere with your daily life. Emotional healing is dealing with and accepting all the negative emotions from the painful things in your life.

If you realize you need emotional healing, here are some ways to get started.

Try to understand what you’re feeling

Don’t judge yourself, but try to understand what you’re feeling and why. Accept that you are the way you are, and move towards healing. Beating yourself up won’t help you. It will make your anxiety and tension worse.

Ask yourself these questions:

If you are aware of intense emotions,  ask yourself some questions to better understand what’s going on in your heart and mind.

  • What am I thinking about right now?
  • What emotions am I feeling that are connected to these thoughts?
  • Why am I feeling this emotion right now?
  • What do I call these emotions? Is it anger, frustration, irritation, fear?
  • Is this familiar to me or something new?
  • How long have I felt like this?
  • Is there some memory associated with this emotion I’m having?

Once you understand exactly what you’re dealing with, it can be easier to deal with them.

Ask God to help you

You are a thinking, feeling, spiritual being, a mortal. Look to God for help when you’re feeling overwhelmed with emotions. Pray for strength and guidance on how to let go of your anxiety, find people who can walk with you through your healing, and for grace to heal.

 Turn off your anxiety

If you’re feeling anxious, try some anxiety management strategies, such as deep breathing techniques or relaxation techniques. Find that “inner anxiety button” and turn it off. Decide you’re going to be calm and resist the urge to let anxiety control you.

Practice mindfulness

Practice mindfulness techniques to find relief from your anxiety. Begin by being aware of the present moment. Calmly acknowledge how you feel and what you’re thinking. Listen to the sounds around you-the outside traffic noise or the sound of your refrigerator running. Allow those sounds to calm you. Feel the coolness of the table where you’re sitting, or smell the fragrance of coffee being made. Any way to slow down your strong emotions and find some peace at the moment can help you heal emotionally.

Turn your experience into something worthwhile

The experiences you have in life give you a perspective that others may not have. Try to learn everything you can from your experiences. See if there are little nuggets of wisdom that you can receive from them. This is turning your pain into positives. Allowing the hard experiences to not be wasted, but tools that teach and help you in the future.

Remember, things will change

When you’re in the middle of emotional turmoil, it can feel like life will always be like this. But life changes and even the most difficult things pass by. Remember, you can start again. Rebuild your life one step at a time. Begin to find the emotional healing you need so you can enjoy your life. Life may look different. You may need to use strategies to calm yourself or schedule times with a counselor who helps you rebuild your mental health. That’s okay. The main thing is that you are moving forward and finding the healing you need.

emotional healing

Final thoughts on seeking emotional healing

If you’ve gone through an especially difficult time in your life, you may find that you need emotional healing. It’s not uncommon to struggle with intense emotions, such as anger, fear, anxiety, or worry. These signs can help you realize the extent of your emotional struggles and motivate you to find the emotional healing you need. Hopefully, some of these suggestions for emotional healing will help you rebuild your life and help you get back your joy in living.

5 Ways To Prepare Yourself For An Energetic Shift

Energy is all around us and inside us. At the physical and vibrational levels, this energy is changing. When it happens, you will be called upon to awaken to your higher purpose; a higher level of spiritual awakening.

Change can be a scary time for people, but without it, we would be stagnant and unable to evolve into who we were meant to be. Think of this time as a rebirth of a new self and moving into a time of fulfillment.

Some people are more sensitive to the process of metaphysical change than others. In order to manage this shift in a smooth and peaceful way, we recommend these 5 ways that you can prepare yourself for the coming energetic shift.

5 Ways to Prepare Yourself For An Energetic Shift

1. Focus on health.

It’s never a bad time to start a healthy habit, but this is a particularly good time to do so. Find a cleanse that is safe for your digestive system, eat high-quality whole foods, exercise and stretch your body.

Preparing your physical self for the energetic shift helps you to be the healthiest self that you can be. When your physical health is in check, you will have one less stressor to handle when an energetic shift happens.

If possible, spend time in nature while exercising. Being connected to our living Earth and experiencing our place in it, puts us in a broader mindset. Part of the energetic shift that is coming will be a human shift away from destructive patterns and toward protecting Earth. Experiencing nature helps you gain a protective attitude toward our Earth.

2. Meditate.

By using meditation and shifting your awareness, you can find and remove energy blocks. According to Josh Shultz, Certified Hypnotherapist, ‘People have developed techniques to dissolve and work through foreign or blocked energy using this kind of awareness shifting — where you basically become aware of the energy and move through it with your mind — or just passively watch it.’

Meditation for awareness can help you to achieve an awakened state and be more receptive to the coming energetic shift. This link has a good exercises for present moment awareness. Try to meditate daily for a month in order to improve your focus on the present moment and increase relaxation.

3. Evaluate your core beliefs.

People are capable of change, but most often our ideals, morals and values remain the same over time. The essence of your being remains strong no matter what is happening around you. Take time to think about what is most important to you. If you hold key truths within yourself, you know that despite any external change these will still remain true.

Having something to cling to in a time of upheaval is valuable for some people to help them manage the major change of an energetic shift. Remember that you have handled change successfully in the past and that this time of changing energy will be no different. Rely on your capabilities.

4. Listen to your intuition.

That tiny voice inside you, your gut instinct, is important during this time of energetic shift. Go with your instinct, because your first reaction is usually right. When you trust your intuition, you have really made a decision based on subtle cues that you’ve picked up on, like body language.

Teacher and author Brian Johnson, has a video where he offers three exercises to help you tap into your inner wisdom. These exercises are designed to help you reveal the knowledge that you already have within you.

The first exercise that he suggests is to imagine your present self being able to talk to yourself at age 110. Now think about what your future self would say to your current self. The second exercise is to imagine your own personal Board of Directors staffed by people that you really admire. Then imagine how those individuals would advise you in this moment. His third exercise is to imagine yourself advising your own child if they were going through this same situation.

Here’s the video you can watch in full:

5. Be open to change.

Whatever comes, your response to it determines how you will be able to find fulfillment following a shift. You can respond with frustration that things are changing, or you can be at peace with it. Accepting the energetic shift is key to your peace of mind. Fighting it will only increase tension and stress in your body, mind and spirit.

According to Lexie Moon, a Certified Law of Attraction/Spiritual Life coach, ‘We can’t solve our problems with the same mind (thoughts and feelings) that created them. What we resist persists, so it seems illogical then to worry about dreadful possibilities that lie ahead for our world and life as we know it. Rather, if we begin to create our own changes within our own world and within ourselves, we raise our vibration and consciousness, better preparing us for change.’

7 Ways To Show Emotional Intelligence

Being overly emotional is often viewed as a weakness, but managing emotions is an admirable quality. Being aware of our mindset is emotional intelligence. The term means that we can stay in control and make effective decisions. This is especially important in the workplace but equally true in our personal lives.

When we are aware of our emotions and those of other people, we can improve our interpersonal relationships. Emotional intelligence is our ability to be self-aware of our internal, private feelings and how they influence our functioning.

Benefits of Emotional Intelligence

According to a study in the journal Human Relations, emotional intelligence in the workplace may help us to:pop meme

  • Develop a collective sense of goals and objectives and how to go about achieving them
  • Help others see that we appreciate the importance of work activities and behaviors
  • Generate and maintain excitement, enthusiasm, confidence, and optimism in an organization as well as cooperation and trust between coworkers
  • Encourage flexibility in decision making and change
  • Establish a meaningful identity for an organization

Goal-oriented leaders who are working closely with motivated, goal-oriented followers is a trait that businesses aspire to. The potential for leaders with high emotional intelligence to achieve this is greater than in those who do not possess these qualities.

An effective response to stress enables leaders as well as followers to perform more effectively on the job. Having a leader who shows emotional intelligence can make employees feel understood and appreciated. Ultimately, emotionally intelligent leaders can prevent attrition and can even lead to improvements in sales and other critical metrics for an organization.

Without being perceived as overly emotional, you can show your emotional intelligence in these 7 ways.

Here are Seven Ways to Show Emotional Intelligence

If you practice these positive habits, then you probably enjoy a positive mindset most of the time.

1. Empathy

Sometimes we confuse empathy with sympathy. Sympathy is conveying concern or pity for someone who is experiencing a negative emotion. Remember, you send a sympathy card that says “I’m sorry for your loss” to someone who has had a relative pass away.

Empathy is recognizing emotions in another person, being able to understand how they feel, and sometimes, experiencing the same feelings yourself. If you cried during Titanic, then you showed empathy for Rose when she lost Jack. When we empathize, we can feel her pain.

You don’t have to cry to show empathy. It can be as simple as saying “I understand how you must feel. This must be a difficult time for you.” By doing so, you show that you recognize the other person’s emotions and you connect with them.

2. Service Minded

When you focus on the needs of another person, you are also caring for their emotional needs. Providing good customer service, to both those that you work with as well as external customers, means keeping people happy. Your awareness of the needs of the other person and action to meet that need demonstrate caring and a desire to be of service.

volunteering3. Adaptability: A key component of emotional intelligence

When the situation changes, you can adapt and change with it. For example, if one employee had a relative pass away suddenly, you’d console them and handle the details of their time out of the office. And if, while you were handling that, another employee was dealing with an irate customer that required your immediate action, you’d be on it.

Being able to adapt means that you can be flexible to meet the changing needs of everyone. You can quickly prioritize what needs your attention first, handle that situation and quickly move on to the next.

4. Managing Conflict

When emotions run high, conflicts can quickly get out of hand. Being able to provide a safe place for people to vent, while keeping things under control, is a good first step. Then help resolve whatever brought on the conflict in the first place.

5. Self-Awareness

In order to maintain control of your emotions, you need to be aware of them. Take a moment to sense how your body is physically responding. Is your heart rate higher? Can you feel muscle tension in your neck and shoulders? You may be feeling angry.

6. Self-Control

Once you have identified the emotion, it is easier to stay in control. Focus on the physiological response. If you have tightness in your shoulders, focus on relaxing these muscles and breathe deeply. Talking about your emotions can be as easy as saying “I feel strongly about this.”

emotional intelligence7. Authenticity

Being genuine about your feelings, whether good or bad, shows your emotional intelligence. You can speak honestly and it will be received as a heart-felt connection on an emotional level.

You should never try to demonstrate an emotion that you don’t really feel. Unless you are a great actor, this tiny lie can be picked up on and you’ll lose the trust of those around you. You can offer “I’m not sure how I feel about this yet” as a way to express emotions without being vulnerable.

If there’s such a thing as IQ (Intelligence Quotient), is there also an EIQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient)? Not exactly, but if you’d like to know more, you can check your own emotional intelligence with this quiz.

7 Ways To Fix A Broken Relationship

When you feel stuck in a broken relationship. you have a choice. Youcan either put it out of its misery or nurse it back to health. If the love that you share is worth saving, act quickly to reverse and repair the damage that’s already been done.

7 Ways to Fix A Broken Relationship

1. Listen.

Seek first to understand, then be understood. Couples therapist Dr. Robert Solley says that ‘The listener has to hold back their own emotional reactions and interpretations, and really try to get the essence of what the speaker is putting out.’

Active listening is more than hearing. Your body language should show that you are open to understanding your partner and you shouldn’t be waiting for your turn to speak. Here are some ways to show that you are actively listening:

  • Face your partner and turn your body toward them
  • Make and keep eye contact
  • Uncross your arms and nod when appropriate
  • Mute the TV and your cell phone
  • Summarize your partner’s words to check that you understood them
  • Ask questions to clarify their meaning

2. Compromise helps you avoid a broken relationship, to begin with.

It takes two to tango and when you’re in a relationship, it’s a partnership. You can’t have it your way all of the time and neither can your partner. You have to find a common ground that works for both of you.

Finding a win-win for both of you is ideal, but if that’s not possible, be willing to give ground. Rather than digging in your heels and fighting, first identify the level of importance of this particular issue.

Are we arguing about toast vs. English muffins for breakfast or is it something larger like renting vs. buying a house? Is it something minor that you can live with? Then let your spouse have their way this time. When it’s an important part of your life like your values, safety, or sanity, don’t compromise.

3. Express yourself.

Are you able to communicate your feelings in a way that makes your partner respond the way that you want them to? If you aren’t getting the response that you’d like, try a different tactic. Try saying ‘I have something to tell you that’s important to me. Is it a good time to talk?’ The reply from your partner will let you know how receptive your partner is likely to be.

Rather than starting with what’s wrong, which can out your partner on the defensive, describe your feelings. Try ‘When you (state the specific behavior that you want to change), I feel (state the corresponding emotion).’ This language is less likely to be seen as accusatory.

Psychologist Dr. Terri Orbuch, the author of 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage From Good to Great, suggests another tactic to express your feelings without pointing fingers. When you say, ‘You do X in situation Y, I feel Z,’ with specific behaviors for X, Y, and Z, you avoid judging either your response or your spouse’s behavior.

4. Soften your heart.

Turning away from your partner when things go bad is easy to do; what’s harder is to turn toward them. Responding with kindness is always better than responding with cruelty.

Think about stories of kindness that have melted your heart in the past. That is the warm-hearted feeling that you’re trying to achieve when you think about your partner. You want to relate to their struggles, feel that there’s hope and take action to be a better partner to them.

Empathy is key to being able to relate to the other person’s perspective. If your partner is angry, think about a time that you were really angry. How would you want someone to treat you if you felt that way? Start by telling your partner that you can understand how they feel and then that you want to help them to feel less angry.

5. Assume the best.

Unless your relationship is beyond fixing due to physical abuse or addiction, assume that your partner has good intentions, even if they say something hurtful. Instead of assuming that they intended to hurt you, assume that they need to express painful feelings.

By assuming positive intent, you can ask questions to uncover the reason for the hurtful comment. Your partner may be in pain themselves, and lashing out in kind is the way they expressed their pain to you. Probe your partner to understand their feelings.

6. Embrace change.

Doing the same thing and expecting different results is the definition of insanity. It’s a cliche, but when things are broken in your relationship, keeping everything the same won’t fix it.

Change can be scary. So prepare for this transition by recalling a time that you had to learn something new in the past. Remember that you came out of that experience a wiser and better person.

relationship7. Be persistent.

If at first, you don’t succeed, don’t give up! If you’ve resolved to make it work, keep trying. Seek the help of a professional if it doesn’t seem that you can fix the broken relationship on your own.

As only half of your relationship, you are not the only person responsible for its’ health. In spite of your best efforts, your partner may need to change their bad relationship habits to help strengthen your bond. If you’ve done your part by working to fix what was broken but they aren’t willing to, you may be resigned to call it quits.

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