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5 Habits That Make People Unhappy (And How to Avoid Having Them)

If you are unhappy, you might be looking for some ideas to help improve your habits.

Happiness is something that we all strive to attain. We can accept that (a) life is short, and (b) unhappiness makes our lives difficult. As is common knowledge, our habits significantly impact the quality of life we live; specifically, these habits directly impact our happiness (or lack thereof). To make a clear distinction, there is a remarkable difference between clinical depression and chronic unhappiness. Depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain, while unhappiness is a disposition that we often acquire through how we choose to live our lives. Similar to depression. However, unhappiness can be diagnosed and treated.

Here are five habits that make people unhappy, all of which can be avoided.

Do you engage in these behaviors?

“I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition.” ­Martha Washington, wife of 1st U.S. President George Washington

1. Chronic Complaining

Happy and successful people do not complain much. Conversely, it seems that chronic complainers always have something negative to say, even when those around them are happy! The bottom line: we all have different circumstances that we are given in this lifetime, but in the end, these circumstances are ours – fair or unfair, wanted or unwanted. Instead, seek solutions to problems instead of complaining, leading nowhere.

habits2. Negative addictions

Most things are good in moderation – food, a drink or two, entertainment. When these things take center stage in our lives, it becomes a problem. Unfortunately, many good people have met their end through addictive habits, primarily through dependence on alcohol and drugs. A great preventative measure and remedy to these addictions? Finding and living our passions to the greatest extent possible (see #8).

3. Regretting the past

Regret is not only useless, but it can also be incredibly harmful. Research continues to show that repetitive, negative thoughts about decisions made in the past in often a precursor to chronic stress and depression. You have four coping methods to deal with regret: (1) learn from mistakes but don’t dwell, (2) if nothing can be changed about the situation to let it go,  make sure too much blame is not being undertaken, and(4) reframing the situation more positively.

4. Worrying about the future

We only have so much say in what our future holds. This tip is not meant to disempower (quite the opposite); instead, it states simple truth. What we can do is to live in the present while fully exercising our God-given abilities and talents, enabling and empowering us to live a happier existence. There’s that phrase again: living in the present. Face difficulties as they arise and let them go. Enjoy the beautiful things in life and experience them fully, be present.

unhappy5. Being driven by fear

Yes, fear can be an enabler to unhappiness. However, to fully understand this, we must go back to being present again. Quite simply, we can’t allow fear of the unknown (and the unavoidable) to cripple our quality of life. Fear is a negative thought process that is often on autopilot.

Remember: We are not our negative thoughts. We are not fear, worry, anxiety, or any other negative thought process.

Once aware of these habits, you can keep them at bay by following the tips mentioned above.

Join the discussion:  What negative habits do you try to avoid?

5 Breathing Exercises That Relax You Immediately

It might seem obvious to say that breathing is important. It is the only way to supply our bodies with the oxygen necessary for survival, and it aids in the process of removing toxins from our body to keep us healthy.

It has been scientifically proven that breathing goes far beyond being a relaxation tool, and can affect the brain, the heart and the digestive and immune systems. While these reasons are critical to our physical well-being, breathing also plays an important role in our mental well-being.

Of course, it’s good to know that modern science supports something that the ancient practice of pranayama, or “control of breath,” has been espousing for thousands of years.

To utilize our breath to reap the benefits, it should be done with intention and purpose. There are varying ways of practicing controlled breath, but the basic components are:

1. Through the nose inhale deeply to a count of five focusing on the expansion of the abdomen.
2. Hold the breath for a time.
3. Completely exhale through the mouth. The exhalation should be longer in duration than the inhalation.

Controlled breathing takes practice, and we now know that our practice will pay off in more ways than we originally thought. The beauty of practicing controlled breath is it can be done anywhere and anytime.

The best time to bring a focus on our breath is when we are tense or feeling anxious. The physical signs of these emotions can help remind us of the importance of the breath and help us return to a calm state.

5 Breathing Exercises That Will Help You Relax Immediately:

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1. Sama Vritti Pranayama (Equal Breathing)

Find a comfortable position and close your eyes and take notice of the rhythm of your natural respiration. Once you are completely at ease, inhale slowly to a count of four and then exhale to a count of four. The goal of this technique is to match the inhale count with the exhale count. It is fine to play with the count as long as the inhale and exhale are equal. Continue breathing for several minutes.

2. Adham Pranayama (Abdominal Breathing)

When you are in a comfortable seated or lying position, place one hand on the chest and the other on the abdomen. The goal of this breath is to inflate your diaphragm and not your chest. Take a deep breath in through the nose to the count of four, hold for two counts and then exhale to the count of six. Continue this cycle for ten minutes each day.

3. Nadi Shodhan Pranayama (Alternate Nostril Breathing)

Sit comfortably with good posture ensuring the shoulders are relaxed. Place your left hand on the knee with the palm facing up, take the right index finger and place it on the left nostril and the right thumb on the right nostril. The index finger will be used to close the left nostril, and the right thumb will be used to close the right nostril.

Press your thumb on the right nostril while gently exhaling through the left nostril. At the conclusion of the exhalation, breathe in through the left nostril and then press the left nostril closed while removing the right thumb and opening up the right nostril.

Breathe out through the right nostril and then inhale, alternating to the left side again. Complete nine rounds of breathing, alternately between the left and right nostrils.

4. Sheetali Pranayama (Cooling Breathing)

This breath helps to reduce body temperature, which is beneficial when trying to relax. Begin in a comfortable seated position. Start by rolling the tongue and breathing in through the tongue to cool the breath. Inhale to a count of four and then exhale through the nose to a count of six. Continue the breath for five minutes. As you continue to develop the breath you can increase the counts of inhalation and exhalation.

breathing

5. Bhastrika Pranayama (Bellows Breath)

Find a comfortable sitting position. Close the right nostril with your right thumb with proper posture and relaxed muscles. Your right elbow should be at the same level of the right shoulder. Close your eyes and inhale and exhale through the left nostril. Start slowly, then increase the pace, mimicking the bellows. Do this 20-25 times and then release the right nostril. Take a long deep breath and retain it for as long as possible and then slowly exhale. Repeat on the right side.

When someone gives us the advice to take break for some fresh air, it seems so simple. And it can be. Commit to ten minutes a day, whether you need to relax or not, and watch the positive effects unfold. Learning to breathe to serve our bodies and our minds takes only a few minutes a day and will deliver benefits over a lifetime.

6 Signs You’ve Found the One

Fleeting relationships can be here one day and gone the next, but there’s nothing quite like being intertwined with someone who leaves an everlasting imprint on your soul. Everyone wants to find the one. The one that will make them happy for the rest of their lives. Many people chase after it. But how can you tell which relationships will truly make a soulful impact in your life? And is there only ONE life mate for you out there?

Many people believe that we don’t choose our partners and that destiny puts us together. Whether that’s true or not, it’s important to know if the person you’re in a relationship with truly has the potential to warm your heart forever. To gain a clearer vision when seeking “the one”, these ten things should not go unnoticed:

6 Signs You’ve Found “The One”

soul-mate

1. They support your aspirations

Support from your significant other is vital. So the one who loves you forever should be able to provide this at all times, in all situations. They will help uplift you, stay aware of your emotions, and help pick you up when you’re feeling down.

Of all people, the one person who touches your soul will know your vulnerabilities, and much like the ancient art of Kintsugi, that person will help fill your cracks and make you stronger than ever before.

2. The One sparks passion in you

When someone inspires you to bring out your best self and create from your heart, there’s a good chance they could be a soul mate.  This person will not suppress or distract you from your inner desires but rather act as a catalyst to help you propel into the life you’ve always dreamed of.

You and your soul mate have the potential to become the best versions of yourselves, giving way to growth that you’ve only imagined. They know the importance of seeing you fully live (not just exist) as your best self and will take the positive steps necessary to help you see your passion come to life.

3. You communicate comfortably with The One

You can be confident that you may have found the one when your words towards each other are kind and loving (more often than not). Of course, you’ll have your ups and downs, but if kind communication is consistent, you have a winning formula.  You also know that you can tell your partner ANYTHING without being judged or criticized.

Likewise, you can be honest and expect understanding and love. If you feel like you cannot be open and honest, even during a moment of “human error”, that’s a sign of someone who may not match your energy.

4. They truly appreciate your affection

In the right relationship, it’s important to make all the non-physical connections, such as comfortable communication, similar interests, etc. But there’s no denying the powerful energy produced when you physically connect with that special person.  Just a single touch can send chills through your body. They want to give and receive these things consistently.

Your soul mate will NOT simply “get what they want and be done with you.”

But rather enjoy every moment of passion with you – every step leading up to it and every step leading down from it.

5. The One (always) think you’re irresistible

The person who makes you blush, no matter what time of day or year, is surely a soul mate in the making.  A soul mate type of relationship looks past imperfections, messy hair, wrinkles, and little behaviors that may be considered “less than savory” by others.

Even when you don’t necessarily see your radiance, your soul mate will.  Your special someone doesn’t need to see you in your best dress to be enamored by your beauty.

the one

6. They are trustworthy and loyal

With life’s negative temptations, it’s no wonder why breakups and divorce rates are at an all-time high.  It can be hard to stay confident that “The One” can be trusted. But trust is a must, and finding your soul mate requires you to open up to an even higher level of trust.

These high levels of trust may seem high-risk for you. But you can be assured that your soul mate will not abuse the freedoms of your relationship. Indeed, they will show an equal level of trust and openness without trying to “keep up” with your level of effort.

The one you know is right will also be willing to remain by your side, even when you aren’t in a “season of harvest.”  When you finally connect with the right person, a union goes far beyond any superficial situation.

Add to the discussion: What signs have you seen that led you to find “the one”?

10 Things To Never Do When You’re Angry

“When angry, count to ten before you speak; if very angry, a hundred,” ~ Thomas Jefferson

When we are angry, more than our mood is affected. It can influence our decisions, our actions and our ability to do simple things. It’s probably obvious that we don’t want anger to be the driving force behind our choices, yet that’s what we tend to do. What’s more, our anger doesn’t just impact us, it impacts everyone around us, creating a ripple effect.

We have three choices when it comes to dealing with our anger. We can:

Hide it
Express it
Let it go

And while we’re working through our anger, it’s important to approach it the right way. That means stepping back from some of our daily routines and rethinking our approach.

10 Things You Should Never Do When You’re Angry

self-control quote

1. Hide it.

Hiding our anger is often encouraged and is certainly easier than dealing with it. The evidence, however, says that hiding anger can affect our health. Studies show that holding on to anger can increase the risk of heart disease and impact our overall health. Just because hiding it is bad, doesn’t mean you should put your anger on display. Instead of reacting in the moment, find a way to work through your anger respectfully and thoughtfully.

2. Go to sleep while you’re still angry.

To be thoughtful in our response to a heated situation, we may think “sleeping on it” is a good strategy. Well, it seems the age-old advice of “never going to be angry” is what’s best. Going to sleep with the feelings of anger burning strong will only reinforce those feelings making them even more pronounced in the morning.

3. Go for a drive.

Choose to travel on foot and stay out of the car whenever possible. When we are angry, our ability to focus and concentrate is diminished, which could lead to poor judgment on the roadways. The plus side of walking is that any form of physical exercise is a good approach to dealing with anger.

4. Shout it from the rooftops.

We all need to vent from time to time, but it might not have a positive effect. “Venting may make you feel different at the moment, but the change in an emotional state doesn’t necessarily feel better; it may just feel less bad,” says University of Arkansas psychology professor Jeffrey Lohr. Venting may make us feel better, but it isn’t addressing the problem. Don’t call, text, or discuss your relationship problems with any third party.

5. Keep arguing.

When angry, it’s hard to present our side of the story with rational and thoughtful points. We often result in saying things we’ll regret down the road. Listen and then allow yourself to take leave of the argument to process the event. Leaving the argument doesn’t mean it’s over. It’s important that we prepare ourselves to revisit it with the right intentions and in a better frame of mind.

6. Air your grievances on social media.

When we post our arguments on social media, we can’t take them back. Just like arguing in the heat of the moment can lead to regret, so can posting on Facebook. Yes, you can delete it, but once it’s out there, it’s out there.

7. Email the person you’re angry at.

You can’t take back an email sent like posting on social media. While writing and journaling are great ways of dealing and processing anger, sending those thoughts are a bad idea. Write the email and then delete or save it. Whatever we do, we shouldn’t send it. We can always revisit the email once our emotions are under control.

8. Resort to drugs and/or alcohol.

Alcohol is a depressant, and adding a depressant to a depressing mood is a recipe for disaster. Alcohol impedes our judgment and lowers the natural restraint mechanisms that prevent us from doing dumb things. This state of mind can lead to doing and saying things returning to haunt us.

9. Dwell on it.

When we dwell on something that makes us angry, it can spiral out of control. Overthinking the situation can lead to blowing it out of proportion and creating more points of contention. Instead of dwelling on the situation, try having a direct and respectful conversation with the person involved.

angry

10. Reach for food.

Emotional eating is never good. When we are in a crisis, we aren’t usually reaching for carrot sticks. Instead, we find ourselves reaching for foods that bring us comfort. Eating poorly during an emotional state can lead to a compromised immune system. Eating mindfully is never more important than when we are dealing with anger.

24 Ways To Find More Hours In A Day

Our lives are busy, and overscheduled and there is never enough time in the day to get what we need done, done. So many of us struggle with two or more jobs, running kids from one activity to another, and just trying to fit it all in. Wouldn’t it be nice to find some extra time?

Since adding hours to the day won’t happen anytime soon, it’s time to try some strategies to get our time back.

24 Ways to Find More Hours In A Day

hours

1. Say no more often.

Finding more time might come down to saying no to things that don’t lend value. It’s up to us to stop the automatic yes and start being more protective of our schedule.

2. Identify time wasters.

In a day where binge-watching entire seasons of television shows is a thing, identifying time wasters can add many hours to a day. In addition to TV, look at the internet, social media, and game habits.

3. Find the priorities of each day.

Knowing our priorities makes it easy to identify and eliminate those activities that aren’t.

4. Pad the schedule.

It’s easy to fill a daily schedule with work activities, household chores, and errands. A full schedule doesn’t allow for unexpected challenges without disrupting the day. Padding the time needed for each event allows the unexpected to happen and keeps everything running smoothly.

5. Combine and consolidate.

Evaluate your weekly schedule and find places to combine and consolidate your to-do list. Instead of running errands throughout the week, take an afternoon and do it all at once. Or, instead of tackling emails as they arrive, set a time to answer them in batches. Consolidate and become more efficient while saving time.

6. Eliminate or shorten meeting times.

While not possible for everyone, minimizing meeting times or, at the very least, making them more efficient will add valuable time to the day.

7. Change your routine.

Habits keep us going most of the time, but it’s possible to grow out of a routine. Create a more efficient one.

8. Phone more.

Email and texting have become the norm for communication, but so much gets lost in translation. A 2-minute phone conversation is more efficient than a chain of ten emails trying to clarify a problem.

9. Use email more efficiently.

If email is necessary, use it wisely. Send it only to the people that need it, and keep one thought per email. It will help keep things clear and concise.

10. Shorten your to-do list.

Sometimes our to-do lists are so long it’s impossible to complete. And in trying to complete them, we focus more on crossing things off. Which means we can overlook the most important items. Try making a to-do list of the three biggest priorities for the day.

11. Start big.

Tackle the biggest task first. We often procrastinate our time away, trying to avoid things that will take a lot of time or are more difficult. By crossing them off the to-do list first, our day will be easier as we go, and as a bonus, we’ll feel more accomplished

12. Delegate or outsource.

For some reason, we get it into our minds that we must do everything ourselves. The reality is, we should be spending time on the things we enjoy and that are in our area of expertise. Delegate or outsource everything else when possible.

13. Disconnect.

Simply disconnecting every day will give us time back. It’s addicting and a huge time drain when we are connected to our computers, phones, tablets and other devices all day long. Disconnect and bring some quiet and calm back to the day.

14. Shut the door.

Eliminate distractions by shutting the door and focusing on the task at hand. It takes much longer to complete a task when we are constantly being interrupted by visitors, the phone, email notifications, and open browser tabs. Close them all down and do the work.

15. Keep a clean workspace.

Spending time finding a file and locating notes make it hard to be efficient. Create a place for everything and put everything in its place.

16. Reclaim bridge time.

Bridge time is the time spent between appointments. It’s too little to start something new, and too much to just let it pass. Use this time to return calls, emails,  manage files, or shred. This is a great time to do some small tasks that never seem to get done.

17. Get proper sleep.

It’s hard to be efficient and productive when we are tired and lack focus. Getting the proper rest will allow us to work smarter, giving us back lost time.

18. Become a morning person.

Morning hours are the most productive, provided we heed the number 17 above. Becoming a morning person allows us to get more done earlier in the day, giving us a more leisurely and less hectic afternoon and evening when fatigue usually sets in.

19. Handle things once.

Take instant action on tasks that take less than two minutes. Things like opening mail, paperwork, email, and voicemail. Read, answer, delete, and file. It’s surprising how much time will be added back into the day when you aren’t visiting something more than once.

20. Remember the value of your time.

Time is something you can never get back – once it’s gone, it’s gone. Imagine that 1 dollar goes into your pocket for every minute that passes.  That’s 1,440 dollars per day. Would you want to miss, or waste the opportunity for any of these resources that could be used?  Think of your time in this fashion and you’re guaranteed to value it more.

21. Repeat Affirmations

Some people say that things are “more easier said than done”.  We truly believe that when things are more often said, they become done much easier. You will surely find “free time” coming out of the woodwork when you repeat positive affirmations and put a positive association with time.  Try repeating these affirmations daily:

I make the best of my time because it is truly valuable!

I am efficient. Time is on MY side!

Every precious second of my time is dedicated to thinking, feeling and doing my best!

I can accomplish all of my daily tasks. I am prosperous in time!

22. Remember that no matter what time it is, it is always NOW.

No matter what time it is, how much time you have left, or how much time there is to go, it is always happening NOW.  You can’t go back, and you can’t leap forward – the time you have is always the present moment.  When you learn to live in a present presence, you’ll quickly see that you can only manage this very moment. Digest this knowledge, and you’ll see a laser sharp focus come into view.

23. Stop multitasking

Physiologically, the human brain is not designed to process more than one thing simultaneously. Actually, to be more specific, the human brain is incapable of effectively handling more than one task. What is taking place is the “switching” of one task to another. In other words, there is no “multi” anything going on. This switching from one task to another is harmful to the brain’s natural makeup.

24. Remember that you have as much time as anyone else.

What do Bill Gates, Benjamin Franklin, Nikola Tesla, and every other epic person who ever lived all have in common?  They all had the same amount of time to get things done.  Realizing that you’ve got the same amount of time as the people who get the biggest and most things done will help put into perspective that everyone has the same 24 hours, they use their time well.

7 Quotes To Remember When You’re Surrounded By Negativity

Negative things happen. It’s part of life, no matter how many quotes we read or how positive we strive to become. Tough times strengthen us and wake us up to the things we weren’t paying attention to. When we allow things to stack up and then add negative people to the mix, this is how we become surrounded by negativity.

Here we feel completely overwhelmed, lost, tired and defeated. Positive quotes annoy us and we stop caring about the things we once loved because we feel like we are constantly putting out fires.

It can be hard to get out of such an emotional roller coaster. Especially when we are surrounded by negative, critical, judgemental people.

We often hear quotes saying, “stop caring about what other people think.” Well, most people agree that’s a lot easier said than done. Quotes can be good, but how do we put it into action?

We are here to help. In fact, we want to inspire you with quotes, yes, but also help you switch that belief system. There’s power in knowing that your thoughts can change your situation. When your thoughts, attitudes and actions are in positive alignment, negativity dissolves.

It starts with keeping positive, support relationships around you. It’s tough to get out of negative situations if you have a daily negative critic in your life – yourself included. It’s easy to be a critic.

We are usually surrounded by negativity, or at least feel like we are, when we are living living for others.  How do we break free and stop becoming surrounded by negativity? These quotes will help!

7 Quotes To Remember When You’re Surrounded By Negativity

pop meme

1. Not everyone will understand you.

“Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. The mediocre mind is incapable of understanding the man who refuses to bow blindly to conventional prejudices and chooses instead to express his opinions courageously and honestly.”— Albert Einstein

2. Don’t change for others.

“If being an egomaniac means I believe in what I do and in my art or music, then in that respect you can call me that… I believe in what I do, and I’ll say it.”  John Lennon

3. Dream big…really big.

“So many people along the way, whatever it is you aspire to do, will tell you it can’t be done. But it all it takes is imagination. You dream. You plan. You reach.”- Michael Phelps

4. People will disagree with you.

“Don’t waste your energy trying to educate or change opinions; go over, under, through, and opinions will change organically when you’re the boss. Or they won’t. Who cares? Do your thing, and don’t care if they like it.” – Tina Fey

5. Sometimes you are alone, but you don’t have to feel lonely.

“Believe in yourself and there will come a day when others will have no choice but to believe with you.” – Cynthia Kersey

6. You are perfect just the way you are.

“There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do.”  -Marianne Williamson

7. And when all else fails, remember this quote…

Sunsets are proof that no matter what happens, every day can end beautifully. -Kristen Butler

negative thinker

Final Thoughts

Let’s face it, we can’t please everyone. It’s an impossible task to live up to the expectations of someone who will end up judging us regardless of what we do.

It’s up to us to start standing up for what we believe in – our own happiness. It’s time we change our focus to the people that matter in our lives and surround ourselves with positive people. When we focus on the people we love and who love us, the other stuff seems to fade into the background. Positivity become part of our every day. We attract more positive people and situations. Negative things happen, but it doesn’t surround us anymore.

Walk, talk, associate yourself with people who are positive. In case you find yourself among people having a negative conversation, remain neutral, or you can refuse to participate in the discussion. Be around like minded individuals who are smart and driven.

Have friends who are proud of what you are doing, respect and love you, and make your day brighter than it already is.

No matter what, remember this: True success comes when we know we are being judged and then realize we don’t care. When that happens, we know we are living our best life.

Let’s switch that old adage around. If negativity is surrounding you, it’s easier done when repeatedly said with positive affirmations and quotes. 😉 Let us know in the comments which # is your favorite!

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