5 Signs Someone is Trying to Manipulate You

September 29, 2015 by Power of Positivity

Some people are always on the lookout for others they can use to advance their agenda, whatever that may be, through whatever means possible. This is manipulative behavior in a nutshell. People that attempt to manipulate often do so by playing on other people’s emotions. They generally don’t trust the logical capabilities of others and seek to “pull the wool over” their eyes. Truly a sad state, but this type of behavior exists.

Generally, people that display manipulative behavior display these and other “red flags” that can potentially unveil their capability to manipulate:

5 signs someone is trying to manipulate you:

1. They have a history of manipulating others.

Have they been caught in a lie with you or someone else? Do they have a generally negative attitude? Have they spread rumors or gossiped about someone? Do they display predominantly individualistic types of behaviors?

These individuals also have an egotistical streak–perhaps even sadistic–thinking they are smarter and craftier than anyone else.

Be aware of manipulative behavior by remaining vigilant in your dealings with others. Remain positive and confident while sending positivity and encouragement to these individuals. This could be the difference in changing their perspective along with their behavior.

2. They are moving fast.

Manipulators try to get you hooked fast through sweet talk and a false sense of interest. That is how they build trust and form a bond. It enables them to use us emotionally once the real motive of the relationship becomes clear.

Among the simpler ways to find a hidden manipulator is to look for simple signs that show somebody only appears worried if something or someone will affect their desired outcome. Manipulators struggle with maintaining the “right kind” of associations because desired outcomes are everything to them, and they care about how other people think to have control.

Take note of your friends’ feelings when you recommend something. Undercover manipulators could harshly react when they don’t agree with you or when criticized.

3. If they play on your emotions, it could be manipulation.

Emotionally, spiritually, and physically, seduction is a manipulator’s tool. A manipulator likes to play on heightened emotions to engage you in behaviors that benefit them. They gather people who will serve their need to be in control, whether through a romantic relationship, a close friendship, or a strategic partnership. They make being with them fun and exciting at first, and then they shift the focus of the relationship onto them and their needs.

4. They quickly grow impatient.

Impatience can be defined as (1) irritable behavior that results from delays or (2) a restless need for change and excitement. The display of impatient behavior is often tied into someone’s goals; specifically, anything that hinders or aggravates the person in active pursuit of these goals. These goals could range from getting ahead of you at the drive-thru to getting that promotion at work.

As with stubbornness, we all tend to be impatient at times. However, some individuals take impatience to the extreme. These individuals detest being held up at any time, anywhere, for almost any reason. They will manipulate any situation to come out on top.

Impatience is a trait that develops from early negative experiences, misunderstanding the nature of self and others, and a persistent sense of insecurity. Early negative experiences often happen during childhood. In many cases, the child was often barred from having a normal social experience resulting in the sense of “missing out.”

When dealing with an impatient person, it is important to understand how they “tick.” For example, these individuals prefer to be in control. They become angry, annoyed, and frustrated when they are not in firm control. The best way to deal with the behavior is to be polite but direct. Do not beat around the bush with impatient people; this will get you nowhere.

5. You are always portrayed as “the bad guy.”

While this might seem a little overboard, emotional manipulators habitually make you look like the bad guy and twist their words to fit any agenda. You might start to believe sometimes that you have done something wrong when in reality, you have fallen victim to their terrible scheme.

To make sure you can show them what they said in prior conversations, jot down any details you think they might conveniently change later to justify their behavior. They may also try to convince you they never said a certain thing, but you can prove they did with the notes you take.

Get smart about protecting yourself from their wrath; they may soon get discouraged from using you as their emotional toy.

5 Food Combinations You Need to Avoid

September 29, 2015 by Power of Positivity

For the most part, mealtime combines different types of food to create a variety of nutritional components that tend to taste good together. We’ve been taught from an early age to have a plate with a protein, a starch, and a vegetable.

Now we might not stick to that exact food combination formula but we combine our foods in all sorts of ways. We put fruit in our salads and top our meat with dairy and compotes. Sure these combinations might help us get our daily recommended allowances for proteins, fruits and vegetables, but is it good for us?

Dr. Wayne Pickering, a naturopathic physician, doesn’t think so. He says, “Improper food combining is one of the primary factors that cause gas, flatulence, heartburn, and upset stomach. What’s worse, poor digestion can also contribute to malnutrition, even if you think you’re eating a decent diet.”

Dr. Pickering believes our bodies are designed to be healthy. And if we follow some natural eating principles, our bodies will not only maintain its health but heal itself when needed.

“Nutrition doesn’t heal. It doesn’t cure. It doesn’t do anything,” Dr. Pickering says. “It’s a science though, and it never changes. Here’s what nutrition is: it’s a series of four processes that your body employs to make food materials for the body to use.”

There are three major food combining rules you should consider when eating.

No proteins and starches in the same meal.

No fruits and vegetables in the same meal.

Always eat melon alone.

With those rules in mind, here are five food combinations you want to avoid eating:

Spaghetti and Meatballs

Spaghetti and meatballs are a classic protein-starch combination that inhibits proper digestion. Because protein and starches are digested differently by the body, the body is forced to choose to digest the protein allowing the starch to sit in the stomach and ferment. Try eating your spaghetti with lightly sauteed vegetables instead or topping a salad with some meatballs.

Prosciutto and Melon

Prosciutto and melon are a very popular appetizer today. Unfortunately, it is recommended that melon be eaten alone. Melons do not digest well when paired with other foods. It is best to eat them as a snack or as an appetizer without any sides.

Turkey and Cranberry Sauce

While a lovely combination for the taste buds around the holidays, fruit and meat do not mix well when it comes to keeping the digestive system happy. Fruit does not require digestion, and much like starch it will sit in your gut and ferment while your body is busy breaking down the protein. Think about using cranberries as an appetizer instead.

Ham and Cheese Omelette

Protein-rich combinations put an enormous strain on your digestive system. Focus on one protein per meal to decrease the energy and time needed for proper digestion. One single concentrated protein per meal is easier to digest and won’t require as much energy. A vegetable omelet is a good alternative.

Charcuterie Plate/Board

A common appetizer found on many menus, A charcuterie board appears to be a healthy and wholesome choice. Mixing fruit, meat, dairy, and candied nuts will drain your energy and leave you bloated. Choose between a fruit plate or vegetable plate instead.

Besides food combinations, Dr. Pickering also suggests that when you eat your foods and the amount of foods you eat are also important.

For instance:

Breakfast: Eat the largest amount of the least concentrated foods. Fruits are ideal for your morning meal.

Lunch: Eat less than the morning and focus on complex carbohydrates. Starchy carbs are a good choice for your midday meal.

Dinner: Smaller portions are a rule of thumb for evening and should be heavy in protein.

We tend to choose our food combinations based on how good they taste together. The question is, what is more, important, the taste or how you feel for hours, sometimes even days following a meal?

We’ve mentioned some of the short-term effects of less than ideal food combinations but what about the long-term effects? Bad food combinations can lead to chronic bad breath, inflammation, poor sleep, lack of energy and long-term digestion issues.

Everyone is different, and everyone’s body will respond differently to bad food combinations. Discomfort following a meal seems to be accepted as part of a good meal, but would you make the same dietary choices knowing you can alleviate the discomfort?

Use the simple food combination advice presented here for two weeks and see how you feel.

It certainly can’t hurt, but it definitely may help you have more energy, better sleep, and you might even find yourself a bit lighter when stepping on the scale. The only way to know if food combining is right for you is to give it a try.

8 Toxic Habits That Block Happiness

September 29, 2015 by Power of Positivity

Happiness is a great goal to have. There isn’t anybody that would turn down more happiness in their lives if it were offered. The thing that many people fail to see is happiness is close – closer than they realize.

To become happier, we go out in search of habits or formulas “guaranteed” to make us happier. And when they don’t work we spend time wondering why. We were work towards becoming happier, but we often forget to evaluate some of our existing behaviors.

Sometimes happiness happens when we make small subtle shifts in the activities that fill our day.

These 8 negative habits can block us from happiness.

Being Envious of What Others Have

Being happy happens when we appreciate what we have. Envy about what other people have is a sign we aren’t happy with what we have and are not living from a place of gratitude.

When we set our sights on having a life that someone else is living, our goal isn’t really to improve our life, it’s to negate the other person’s achievements. To be happy we should be living in support of others and their accomplishments, not trying to diminish them.

Getting Caught Up in Other People’s Drama

Many times we find ourselves getting involved in a situation under the pretense of wanting to help. We want to fix things when often times it’s not our place to do the fixing.

It’s almost as if we are addicted to the chaos, the victimizing, the “woe is me” syndrome and when life is going good, we go out looking for drama. We are looking for a “cause.” Learn to be comfortable in the quiet, uneventful times of our lives and leave other people’s drama to them.

Constantly Finding an Excuse

When your happiness is tied to an external circumstance it becomes an excuse. A job, lack of money or a bad relationship is never the cause of unhappiness. It is simply the excuse we give ourselves.

Happiness doesn’t come from something we do or achieve. It happens when we are truly grateful for our life, knowing where we are today is just one step on the path to where we’re headed.

Forgetting to Make Time for Exercise

There is a variety of reasons why exercise should be part of our daily routine. There is also a variety of reasons why it isn’t; there isn’t enough time, we’re too tired or we don’t have the willpower to make it happen.

Besides the benefits of exercise on our overall health, exercise releases endorphins in our body and endorphins make us feel good. A happier outlook on life is just an exercise session away, literally.

Complaining Without Action

There’s venting and then there’s complaining and the difference is in the action we take. There will always be challenges that frustrate us, but constant complaining serves no purpose except to keep us in a negative space.

Turn complaints into a venting session by ending with the action necessary to move forward. It’s the action that moves us back to the center. Even if that action is to realize there is nothing we can do and agreeing to let it go.

Being Consumed by Worry and Stress

Most of what we worry about never comes to fruition and yet we continue to worry anyway. A calm mind can be unsettling to someone who thrives on action and activity.

Allowing ourselves to be consumed by worry and stress often gives us the sense that we are active and involved when the reality is we are just creating more friction that moves us further away from happiness.

When worry and stress are consuming, start by taking some sort of action. Just doing something can fulfill your need for activity in a positive way and will begin to allow you to let go of the worry.

Spending Too Much Time Alone

Meaningful relationships make us happier which requires us to spend time fostering the relationships that matter to us. Spending time alone is necessary for us to stay true to our authentic self, but spending too much time alone takes away from creating connections that will help us grow and evolve. It’s important to take the time we need to recharge and equally important to get out in the community and be social.

Searching For Your Passion

Thinking happiness will come when we find our passion is a mistake. Happy people haven’t found their passion, they bring passion to everything they do.

Passion comes from an appreciation of life and the world around us and it’s an attitude that we bring into our work, our homes, and our relationships.

It doesn’t necessarily reflect our love or dislike for a certain thing. It’s actually the reflection of love and appreciation for ourselves on this day and in this moment.

In the end, staying true to our story and our life is what will eventually lead us to a happier place.

Watching People Hear For The First Time Brought Me To Tears

September 28, 2015 by Power of Positivity

It’s incredible the little things we take for granted in life. And watching people do something we consider as simple as hearing for the first time will make anyone re-evaluate the things we genuinely need to be grateful for.

Have you ever had an ear infection that impaired your hearing temporarily? It is a frustrating experience that most people can identify with. You can’t hear others clearly, nor can you hear your own words. While your situation might have come from a short-term infection, millions of others live that way permanently. Some people have hearing loss or deafness from birth, while others develop it with age or because of a lifetime of working in a noisy environment.

We take for granted so many sounds that play like background music to our lives–the first cry of a newborn baby, the sound of our loved ones’ voices, and birds singing on a springtime morning. But now, the reality of a life of silence is changing, thanks to modern-day technology like cochlear implants. These new implants are sophisticated hearing aids embedded inside the ear. They enable people with hearing loss or deafness to enjoy life more fully than in the past. Watching people in the video below is so touching–you will want to watch it repeatedly.

Before we start watching people hear for the first time, here are some things to know.

The World Health Organization (WHO) defines hearing loss as the following:

“A person is said to have hearing loss if they are not able to hear as well as someone with normal hearing, meaning hearing thresholds of twenty dB or better in both ears.”

WHO experts further explain how hearing loss ranges from mild to moderate challenges like low hearing or tinnitus to profound deafness.

Hearing loss and deafness can lead to numerous negative outcomes in individuals, including these:

Feelings of social isolation, especially in large groups.
Frustration at missing important conversations.
Loneliness when hearing people don’t include them.
Learning loss or delays often occur in children who are not diagnosed properly.

The National Institute on Deafness and Other Communication Disorders provides some eye-opening statistics on hearing loss and deafness in America.

37.5 million over the age of eighteen have hearing difficulties
As of December of 2019, approximately 801,900 Americans had received cochlear implants–118,100 adults and 65,000 children.
28.8 million American adults may benefit from hearing aids.
Ninety percent of children born deaf have hearing parents.
Two or three out of every thousand children in the United States have some level of hearing loss in one or both ears at birth.

Final Thought: Do we take the gift of hearing for granted?

The numbers mentioned above should certainly make everyone who has never experienced deafness appreciate the gift of hearing and see it in an entirely new light. Watch this video–it is so uplifting. Watching people hear sounds for the first time will make you thankful for your abilities and also more aware of how you can advocate for those with hearing disabilities.

Which Type Of Introvert Are You?

September 27, 2015 by Power of Positivity

Did you know there are actually four different types of introvert types?

The introvert personality has been misunderstood for quite some time now. But since scientists have become more interested and intrigued with introversion, more accurate information about introverts has started to surface.

When people think of an introvert, they usually think of someone who doesn’t have social skills, doesn’t like people, and have a self-centered and cold demeanor. However, researchers have started to dispel the stereotypes and paint a clearer picture of the introverted personality type. Since the topic of introversion started to become more mainstream in the past few years, psychologist Jonathan Cheek began to notice that he and his colleagues defined introversion totally differently than most people did.

“When you survey a person on the street, asking them to define introversion, what comes up as the prototypical characteristics … are things like thoughtful or introspective,” said Cheek, a psychology professor at Wellesley College.

Studies That Examine the Introvert Personality

According to scientific studies, however, these words don’t accurately describe an introvert. If you look deeper into the psychology of personality types, you will usually find more information about what introversion isn’t rather than what it truly is. One’s level of enthusiasm and assertiveness can usually discern an introvert from an extrovert, but the subject is still much more complex than that.

In the early 1980s, a study highlighted the disparities between the scientific and common sense definitions of introversion, which showed scientists that much work still had to be done in personality psychology. As Cheek and his colleagues, graduate students Jennifer Grimes and Courtney Brown, studied the topic further, they realized that many people, including introverts they interviewed, had very different ideas of what it meant to be an introvert.

They realized that it seemed narrow-minded and limiting just to define introverts by one or two characteristics, so the team of researchers now believes that there are four different types of introversion: social, thinking, anxious, and restrained. Remember that many introverts fall into more than one of these categories.

Cheek named his model after the first letter of the various types of introverts: STAR. He came up with this by surveying 500 adults aged 18 to 70, asking them questions about how much time they spent in solitude and how often they tended to daydream. The only aspect the following types have in common is the tendency to turn inward rather than outward for stimulation. But other than that, you can see that introversion is much more complex.

Here are the four different types of introverts:

Social:

Social introverts prefer socializing in small groups rather than large ones, which fits most people’s beliefs about introverts. Sometimes these introverts don’t want to socialize at all. Instead, they choose to spend time alone rather than in any group. This rings true, especially for those who score high in social introversion.

“They prefer to stay home with a book or a computer, or to stick to small gatherings with close friends, as opposed to attending large parties with many strangers,” Cheek said.

This differs from shyness, though, because this type of introvert enjoys solitude and small groups without feeling anxious about socializing.

Thinking:

A thinking introvert doesn’t mind socializing at events. However, they carry several traits that people usually associate with an introvert. They have a high level of introspection, self-reflection, and thoughtfulness and usually have an expansive imagination.

“You’re capable of getting lost in an internal fantasy world,” Cheek said. “But it’s not in a neurotic way, it’s in an imaginative and creative way.”

Anxious:

An anxious introvert will spend much of their time alone. That’s because they feel socially awkward around others, especially in large groups. This differs greatly from the social introverts who prefer spending time alone but don’t feel uncomfortable around others. An anxious introvert doesn’t have much faith in their own social skills and get self-conscious easily. However, this type of introvert doesn’t feel relief when they spend time in solitude. Instead, they will mull over their thoughts many times and fixate on things that have or could turn into the worst-case scenario.

Restrained:

Finally, the restrained introvert can otherwise be described as reserved. This type takes longer to process their environment. They also spend a great deal of time thinking about their words before they speak. They run slower than other types of introverts. Also, they don’t feel rushed by the fast pace of the world around them.

Even though Cheek’s ideas about the four shades of introversion haven’t been widely tested and studied, they still have opened the door wider for an insightful discussion about what it means to be an introvert. Cheek doesn’t want to change the public’s definition of introversion, per se. Rather, he just wants to build on that definition and allow introverts to understand their demeanor more.

“Many people do not feel identified or understood just by the label introversion as it’s used in the culture or by psychologists. It doesn’t do the job — it helps a little bit, but it just doesn’t get you very far,” Cheek said. “It turns out to be more of a beginning.”

If you’d like to know which of these types of introverts you are, take this quiz to find out!

5 Ways To Turn Weakness Into Willpower

September 26, 2015 by Power of Positivity

As Oscar Wilde once said: “I can resist anything except temptation.”

That’s something most of us can relate to. If you’re not one of us, then well done.

For the rest of us, though, there will come a time when we need to ‘not’ do something we want to do. Don’t smoke that cigarette, don’t eat that cake, or skip the soda!

As nice as life is, it is often one long list of temptations that need to be avoided. So what do we do when we are having trouble saying “no” or are fearful of trying something new? We dig deep for the willpower to push us through. Sometimes that’s easier said than done.

To help us out, here are five ways to strengthen our willpower:

1. Plan the outcome

In the words of Greg S. Reid: “A dream written down with a date becomes a goal. A goal broken down into steps becomes a plan. A plan backed by action makes your dreams come true.”

There are three critical components of that statement:

Writing it down.

Breaking it down.

Taking action.

We are often guilty of short-term thinking, only seeing what is in front of us. Instead, we should be looking at a bigger picture. So start by writing it down. It will help you become crystal clear about the direction you want to head. Then break it down into manageable parts, so the big goal seems attainable. Then, find the willpower within to take the first step and when you do, your willpower will grow stronger. It’s like a muscle, and it gets better with exercise. So exercise it!

2. Avoid it!

Avoid situations where there is a need to make tough decisions. Tough decisions will deplete willpower fast. For example, a person who wishes to stop drinking would do well to avoid bars for a while. However, hanging out at the juice bar at the gym will help strengthen willpower, because there isn’t a difficult choice to make.

3. Reward yourself.

Yes, when we do good things we like to be rewarded. Collect the money saved from not buying that packet of cigarettes. Collect in a jar and keep it visible. After a period, take the money and splurge on something frivolous like a spa day or new pair of boots. Like any other goals you have written down, focus on them, visualize them and embed that picture in your mind, permanently.

You strengthen your willpower when you remain focused on positive results. Draw on those feelings of success when faced with difficult choices, and you’re more likely to choose wisely.

4. Be accountable.

Accountability partners are a great way to strengthen our willpower because we are more likely to do what we are supposed to do when we have to report back to someone. The added benefit is we get to call on the willpower of our partner when our willpower is lacking. Friends can achieve a lot together; that’s why they’re friends, and everyone can find a friend or a colleague who has similar goals.

Look at it another way; there is a reason that ‘clubs’ are popular, things like gyms, weight watchers, etc. They will keep us honest, grounded, and moving forward. Now, you don’t necessarily need to join a club; just gather a few friends and set up an accountability group.

5. Stay the course.

If there have been times in the past when we have fallen at the feet of temptation, remember those times and gather strength from them. We should never, ever, take our eye off the prize. Think about it; what changed? Was it:

The goal? Unlikely.

The dream holiday? Unlikely.

The dream dress we’re trying to squeeze into? Unlikely.

Any other goal? Unlikely.

Instead, we probably gave in to temptation once, then twice, then three times and soon realized we failed. So we gave up. We will continue to fail until the time we don’t and that time maybe the next time.

Making change is hard. In fact, we are designed to resist change. So it might be unrealistic to think we can get there on the first try. But with each try and a clear focus on the goal, you will build the willpower to keep trying until you get it right.

Face it, without a little failure we would have no stories to tell or lessons to learn. Think once again about the goal and measure the triumphs one step at a time. When we stay the course, make a plan, avoid situations that will make things more challenging, find some friends, and then reward ourselves for each step, we will soon learn the day of achieving our big goals is closer than we think.

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5 Signs Someone is Trying to Manipulate You