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5 Signs You’re Being Too Hard On Yourself

October 9, 2015 by Power of Positivity

Are you often too hard on yourself?

It’s easy to be forgiving to someone else but a lot harder to be forgiving to ourselves. Many people would argue that forgiveness begins at home. We can’t live our best life or do our best work unless we commit to forgiving ourselves of the mistakes we will undoubtedly make. In essence, we must learn to forgive ourselves for being what we are – human.

When it comes to self-reflection, we often ignore the positive things that make us who we are. Instead, we focus on the wrong turns we’ve taken, not realizing those turns often lead us to the right path in life. Things that throw us off track and catch us off guard in life should not define us.

“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.” ~ Steve Maraboli

Here are 5 signs you’re too hard on yourself:

You allow a temporary setback to derail you completely.

When we are in the thick of things, it can be hard not to see a temporary setback for what it is – just a temporary setback. Where we are today is the culmination of every right turn we have ever made and every wrong one. We result from every good and bad decision, every thriving and failed relationship and every prosperous and financially poor opportunity we’ve invested in. The bottom line, we are precisely where we need to be – even though sometimes it’s hard to see.

If there is one thing we should know for sure, it’s that tomorrow is another day and the opportunity to succeed or fail comes with it. Will we choose to be crushed by it or go with the flow? It’s important to forgive ourselves of the mistakes we made yesterday so we can make better decisions today.

You put too much pressure on one action for your happiness.

There is not one single action we take that will bring about the end of the world. Sure, sometimes there are serious consequences when we choose poorly, but everything is fixable. We live, we love, and we lose. Unfortunately, sometimes we take actions that don’t always end up the way we want. That doesn’t mean taking the action was a complete loss. What matters is if we learn from the situation to improve next time. In the end, remember we are still standing and still living and that the world will turn tomorrow, the same as it is today.

You do not act from our authentic truth because you’re afraid you’re “not good enough”.

It is easy for self-doubt to creep into our psyche, causing us to second guess everything we think and do. We must look to our decisions and determine if we are making the best possible decision based on the available information. If we can answer yes, then we should feel confident moving forward and believe that the outcome is meant to be – whether good or bad.

You blame yourself for things outside of your control.

We have two choices when things do not go according to plan. We can either change it or accept it. What we can’t do is continue to blame ourselves for the same actions over and over again. The next time we find ourselves frustrated or angry, it’s important to understand our role in it and either choose to do something differently or commit to letting go of the emotion it holds over us.

You spend time focusing on what you don’t have.

It’s easy to be hard on ourselves when we spend our day looking at everything we have yet to accomplish. Our day would be better spent focusing on the achievements we’ve made.

End each day focusing on the stuff that went right. Sleeping with a sense of accomplishment will help you start on the right foot tomorrow.

Final Thoughts to Remember When You Are Too Hard on Yourself

Sometimes it is okay to be hard on yourself. It drives us and gives us purpose and direction. There is a danger that our thoughts might become a burden we carry through life, particularly if we are not careful about dealing with negativity or failures at the earliest opportunity.

It can be hard to get a fair perspective when amid turmoil or negativity, which is why it’s necessary to question things and try to find the lesson.

Most days tend to have more good than bad, but we remember the bad. Let’s commit to spending time each day with a focus of what went right instead of dwelling on what went wrong. That one thing will help you stop being so hard on yourself.

5 Remedies For Insomnia

October 8, 2015 by Power of Positivity

Unfortunately, many people have trouble falling and staying asleep in today’s world; about 40 percent of adults suffer from insomnia, according to the National Sleep Foundation. Of course, the rising number of people who have insomnia doesn’t come as a surprise when you think about how our society runs today – phone and computer screens in our faces almost all day, rushing from one place to another to do errands and meet deadlines, eating whatever we can find in order to just scrape by, and, in general, living without adequate relaxation time.

Losing so much sleep on a regular basis can contribute to many dangerous health problems, including diabetes, heart disease, and even obesity. In order to feel your best and get a restful night’s sleep, you might need a few tips to help you get to sleep easier.

Here are 5 natural remedies for insomnia:

1. Take valerian or melatonin supplements to help beat insomnia.

Used for many centuries now, Valerian is a natural sedative which will help you relax and fall asleep faster. You’ll find them in health food stores and pharmacies in capsule form. You will want to take one or two a half hour before bed to allow it to start working in your system. Another option is melatonin supplements, which help regulate the sleep/wakefulness cycle. You can either buy sublingual tablets or capsules to take each day before bed. .25 to .3 mg is most effective for steady use.

2. Establish a relaxation routine before bed.

For insomnia sufferers, many don’t have a regular routine at bedtime, which leaves their minds wandering onto any subject except that of falling asleep. Make sure you have some sort of bedtime schedule, whether you like to take a warm bath, meditate, do a yoga sequence, go for a short walk around the neighborhood, read a book, etc. This way, your body will start to get into a natural rhythm and know what to expect as you wind down at the end of the day.

3. Use “white noise” machines to drown out any bothersome noises.

If you have a particularly noisy home, you might want to try blocking out the sound with a white noise machine. These machines make noises that sound like a rushing waterfall or wind blowing through the trees, which will calm your nerves and get your mind ready to drift off into a deep sleep. You can find these machines at many outlets and retailers online and in physical stores, available in large varieties based on your personal preferences.

4. Avoid caffeine and alcohol, especially in the evening.

Since caffeine is a stimulant, it will only get your heart beating fast, blood pumping, and mind wired when you’re trying to get ready for bed. That’s the last thing you want, so avoid drinking any coffee, sodas, or energy drinks long before you fall asleep at night. Alcohol is a depressant, so you might wonder why you would want to avoid it during the evening. Irshaad Ebrahim, the medical director at The London Sleep Centre in the U.K., has the answer.

“Alcohol may seem to be helping you to sleep, as it helps induce sleep, but overall it is more disruptive to sleep, particularly in the second half of the night. Alcohol also suppresses breathing and can precipitate sleep apnea.”

While alcohol might seem to help you fall asleep faster and make you drowsy, it ultimately interrupts REM sleep, which helps us restore and regrow cells, and simply recover from the day before. Alcohol spikes insulin levels, which also explains why you wake up in the middle of the night feeling restless with your heart beating rapidly.

Instead of alcohol and caffeine, go for a nice cup of decaf herbal tea at night to get you relaxed and ready for a sound night’s sleep.

5. Spend at least thirty minutes outdoors each day to overcome insomnia.

We spend far too much time indoors in our society today, and the unnatural lighting from cell phone and computer screens, fluorescent lights, and LED lights can disrupt our circadian rhythm. Make sure you spend at least thirty minutes outside each day in order to soak up some natural light and help balance your body’s chemistry. Your brain absolutely needs sunshine and fresh air in order to function properly, so make sure to give it what it needs and get out of the house or office at some point during the day.

5 Times You Need to Stand Up For Yourself

October 6, 2015 by Power of Positivity

We’ve all taken a seat on the people-pleasing train a time or two. We do things for people we don’t want to do, we accept an opinion we don’t believe, and we allow others to treat us unfairly so that we can keep the waters calm. All this does is sacrifice our happiness to make someone else happy.

While on the surface, it may seem smart and even admirable to constantly be doing things for others, there is a time when we must stand up for our needs first. It’s important to our happiness to be compassionate and giving to others, but there’s a fine line between serving others and living a life of servitude.

Our happiness is important. In fact, it is important enough to warrant a little selfishness on our part. Not the kind that is malicious in intent but makes us stronger and more secure in who we are. Standing up for ourselves when it’s easier to give in helps us to live in our authentic truth.

Our happiness, and ultimately our lives, are defined by the choices we make. When we allow other people to tell us how to feel, they are making those choices for us, and we are giving away our truth. Life is too short to live a life others want us to live. Giving in is a sign we’ve stopped caring about who we are and capable of being.

It’s time to stop caring about how other people will respond and stand up for ourselves when needed.

Here are five times we always need to stand up for ourselves:

1 – We must stand up when we passionately believe in something.

It’s hard to sit and listen to someone talk about something that goes against what you believe. Yet, we do it all the time because we don’t want to cause a scene, or we don’t think disagreeing will change anyone’s mind. Often, remaining silent gives the impression that we agree with the sentiment. As a result, we are not honoring our truth.

We should tell people why we stand up for those ideals when we passionately believe in something. We may not change anyone’s mind, but we may change the conversation. This can be difficult, so practice the argument and consider the objections beforehand. The more we start letting people know what we believe, the easier it becomes.

2 – When we have a clear goal.

It is so easy to take on a project or do a favor for a friend that is in direct conflict with a goal we’re working towards. Our first instinct is to help others; while noble, it can detract us from the things that matter in our lives. Always keep sight of the things that matter and support a happy life. Sometimes it is necessary to say “no” to stay on track for our big goals and stand up for what we believe in.

3 – Stand up to intimidation or bullying

Bullying doesn’t just happen on the playground; it happens everywhere. Whenever someone becomes adamant that we should do something or think a certain way; we are being bullied. Like most bullying, the real damage is to our emotional well-being. We must learn to stand up for ourselves and others by calling out the behavior and not allowing the loudest or most persistent person to control the outcome of any situation.

4 – We should stand up when we must protect our time.

Time is one of our most valuable assets and a finite resource you cannot take back after giving it. We need time to do the things that are important to us, the things we are called to do. We need time for the people that matter most to us, to take action towards achieving our big goals, and to practice gratitude and appreciate all we are. Every time we say yes, we are saying no to something else. We must ensure we are not saying “no” to something that will help us grow into who we are capable of being. It is okay and even required to say no to protect our time.

5 – When we need to set boundaries.

Some people just do not understand the boundaries of what is acceptable to one person and what is not. It is important to let people know what our personal boundaries are. Let’s create a dialog around what we are comfortable talking about and what we are not, what we are comfortable doing and what we’re not, and most importantly, what we are comfortable feeling and what we’re not. When we have a clear picture of our boundaries, it becomes easier to honor and stand up for our truth.

Standing up for ourselves won’t guarantee we will get our way, but we will feel like we have more control over our life’s direction.

5 Signs You’re Underestimating Yourself

October 6, 2015 by Power of Positivity

Many times in life, other people try to squash our confidence and make us feel inadequate. However, no one can make us feel this way unless we let them, which means only our thoughts about ourselves matter. More often than not, we are underestimating ourselves! It is our own voices trying to manipulate us into thinking we somehow don’t measure up to the rest of society. If you can invest in yourself and change those voices in your head to make them more positive, you will notice a dramatic shift in how the rest of the world looks through your eyes. However, many people don’t know how to do this and stay in a frustrating cycle of living a life that’s less than what they deserve.

Here are five signs you’re underestimating yourself:

1. You have friends that bring you down.

Your friends, whether you like it or not, help to shape you as a person. If you hang around negative, unhealthy people with no direction in life, this behavior will start to rub off on you. Simply put, if you have friends who make you feel bad about yourself, you don’t value yourself. Don’t settle for friends who don’t respect you just so you won’t feel lonely; continue to work on you, and the right people will make their way into your life.

2. You always compare yourself to other people.

Comparison is such a toxic, energy-draining habit. Do you ever feel good after comparing yourself to someone else? Chances are, you feel pretty awful about yourself afterward. We can easily log onto Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or other social media sites to get a glimpse into people’s lives 24/7. However, social media doesn’t usually portray an accurate picture of someone’s life. You don’t get to see the whole story, only bits and pieces. So, why feel jealous or compare yourself to people you don’t really know? Just focus on feeling good within yourself, and you won’t feel the need to compare yourself to others.

3. You let your friends and family dictate your opinions and feelings.

Most of the time, friends and family have our best interests at heart; however, sometimes, they cast their own opinions onto us, expecting us to feel the same as they do about certain things. You have a mind of your own, so use it. Speak up if you disagree with someone; having a different opinion than your peers or family members won’t kill you. This just means you are exercising your right to free expression and that you value yourself enough to stay true to your heart. Just because your parents raised you, doesn’t mean they always know what’s best for you. Make your own decisions, and trust your Higher Self to lead you down the right path.

4. You are underestimating yourself because you have low self-esteem.

If you allow the outside world to dictate how you see yourself, you will probably have low self-esteem. Advertisements all over the place tell us we need all these things to feel good about ourselves and reach a happy place in our lives when in reality, it comes from within. People will say something about you no matter what you do in life, so why let them control how you feel about yourself? No one can make you feel inferior unless you allow them, including yourself. You have no reason to feel bad about yourself; you have arrived on this planet for a purpose, and no one can fulfill it the same way you can.

You deserve to feel good about yourself because you matter. Don’t let anyone, even yourself, let you think that you don’t measure up. Life isn’t a race or a contest; it’s a journey, and you go at your own pace. Do what makes you feel happy, and take care of yourself. You will find that you have much more confidence in yourself by just doing these two simple things, and underestimating yourself will be a thing of the past.

5. You settle a lot in life instead of striving for more.

Many people do this, unfortunately, in their jobs, schooling, personal lives, etc. If you settle in life instead of going for what you really want, you may have missed out on what could’ve been an amazing opportunity for yourself. Always aim high; if you miss, you can say you tried rather than staying safely on the sidelines, watching everyone else take a shot. You deserve to live life at your fullest potential, so don’t ever stop striving. Have big goals, and go after them. Settling for mediocrity just because following your dreams takes effort and courage is no excuse not to aspire for more in life.

5 Things You Should Never Settle For

October 6, 2015 by Power of Positivity

Often, we end up settling for less than we deserve simply because we feel scared to change our situation. Taking a leap of faith and leaving behind the comforts of familiarity can seem difficult, scary, and downright uncomfortable. However, living a life that doesn’t express who we really only stifle our creativity, drive to succeed, and will to live. Many people fall into a state of depression simply because they feel stuck and don’t know where to turn, but you don’t have to settle for less. You CAN strive for more and should do this as often as possible.

We didn’t come into this life to play it safe and settle; we came to shake things up and prove to ourselves that we can live the life we’ve always imagined.

Here are five things you should never settle for:

1. Don’t settle for mediocrity

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.” – Marianne Williamson

How many times have you told yourself that you can’t do something? And how many times have you allowed that insecure negative voice inside you to shy away from something you really wanted and simply settle? Starting today, don’t let that voice control your life any longer; silence it with the power of confidence and faith in yourself. Don’t let the fear of failure keep you from striving for more; if anything, you can learn from the lessons present in failure, and use that as motivation to launch you to the next step in life.

Change is painful, but choosing to settle because you don’t think you have what it takes to succeed is even more excruciating.

2. Negative relationships

Relationships that only bring you down don’t serve a place in your life any longer. It might seem hard at first to cut ties with people you have known a long time, but you can’t go on allowing these relationships to dampen your enthusiasm for life. You need to surround yourself with people who have a similar, go-getter attitude about life; don’t let people who spew negativity settle into in your life. They will only take you in the wrong direction, away from your hopes and dreams.

Don’t hesitate to walk away from people that don’t allow you to blossom into your best self.

3. Never settle for a job you hate

This one sadly fits the majority of people in the workforce today. According to a report by the Conference Board, 52.3% of Americans are unhappy at work. Some studies even report higher numbers than this, proving that most people settle for a job they hate just to make ends meet. Most of the jobs we have today don’t serve the planet or its people in the best way, further isolating us from one another. A job shouldn’t just be a means to an end; it should fulfill, inspire, and challenge you. It should make you feel like you have a purpose in life, adding value to it. It might seem scary or impossible, but you CAN leave a job that makes you miserable.

Don’t settle for one you hate just because it pays the bills; you can do anything your heart desires, it just takes a lot of hard work and dedication. However, all the effort will pay off in the end because you will finally have a job that doesn’t even feel like work.

4. Living in a place that doesn’t make you happy

Many people stay shackled to one place in life, mostly out of fear. They fear running out of money, leaving behind the place they’ve lived for years, making new friends, etc. However, wouldn’t it feel worse to settle in a place you don’t belong than take your chances and see what a new city can offer you? Maybe a totally different country would suit you better; the point is, this life is short, and we shouldn’t spend it worrying about outcomes. We should use our time wisely and savor the journey because our experiences will make us better people.

To grow as a person, you need to follow your heart and try new things; otherwise, life becomes dull and mundane, but it doesn’t have to be that way.

5. Living life by someone else’s rules

If you haven’t realized it by now, everyone lives according to the lens through which they see it. Everyone’s perspective and opinions differ because everyone sees life through their own mind. For this reason, you should never accept someone else’s standards for how you should live. Those ideals might work for that person, but not for you.

Don’t allow others to tell you how you should live; only you can decide for yourself. You write the script, and you get to act it out based on your viewpoint and ideas. Only you can write your story, so don’t let other people do it for you.

This Simple Test Can Predict The Future Of Your Relationship

October 5, 2015 by Power of Positivity

Are you thinking of embarking on a relationship with someone, but are unsure about your long-term compatibility? Or do you have questions about your current relationship?

The best relationships can stagnate over time, but they can be revived with the right amount of care and attention, a mutual desire to have a future together, and obviously, a little love.

If you would like some insight into whether the future is going to be bright for your relationship, here is a fairly simple test that you can do.

Think of it like this; a relationship is like a canoe trip taken by two people. It probably starts out smooth, but canoe rides have been known to get rough because they can encounter factors that cannot be planned for. Very few of us could get into a canoe with another person and master it in the short term. It will take time, patience and practice to get it right. Here are a few of the issues that can happen when taking a canoeing trip for two:

Plan the trip.

Why are we taking a canoe trip with another person? Maybe it’s because it seems like a nice thing to do, it’s a new experience, or we both thrive when active. Maybe we are trying canoeing because other sports haven’t worked out, and we’re willing to dip our feet into the metaphorical water again.

Are we both happy with the chosen destination or is one of us merely settling for it in the hope that we’ll get our way the next time?
Visualize the destination and see if there is a future. We should be asking ourselves if we can see ourselves there with this partner – being there, living there, and growing old together.

We’re both in the canoe, now what?

We are both equipped with the same tools with which to do the same amount of work. If we put in an equal amount of effort towards our shared destination as a team, then our canoe will sail smoothly. The trip will be enjoyable and unexpected obstacles like strong currents can be navigated smoothly together.

If one team member falls behind in their efforts, we’ll both go in circles. In the short term, the other person is going to be happy to pick up the slack – that’s part of being in a relationship after all. Maybe we can both slack off for a while and stop to enjoy the peace and quiet – to enjoy where we’re at, or just taking a look around. Don’t sit still for too long, though; it will eventually get dark, and it may be hard to find the shoreline.

If one of us is constantly putting in more effort than the other, we will go in circles for longer. That will soon become tiresome and a source of aggravation. Here’s the deal – if one of us is constantly not pulling our weight, we’ll be going nowhere despite all the efforts we put in.

When things get off course.

So we find ourselves going in circles and it’s getting tiring – how do we fix it? We should talk about it, right?

Should we:
* Simply point out that there is a problem and hope for a journey-changing revelation to come from the other! Or maybe we say nothing and simply wait for the problem to magically fix itself. Now, magic fixes can happen, but because neither of us knows what the fix was, the problem is certain to resurface later.
* Merely point out that the other person is causing the problem? That’s going to help in the long run. Eventually a cry of “this is getting us nowhere” will happen followed by a discussion of the matter at hand, but now with added and unnecessary tension.
* Point out that there is a mutual problem and ask for ideas on how to solve it. Knowing that if we both work in harmony, we will be able to stabilize the ship and right the course. It might only be a short-term fix, but at least the journey is getting a fair shot at success.

Now that we’re back on course.

Now that we’ve made it through some choppy waters, where do we stand? Does our partner:
* Agree that there is a problem and agree that working together may be the solution?
* Deny that there is a problem at all. In which case, we’ll continue to go in tiresome circles until one party bails out?
* Simply bail out at the first sign of trouble!?
* Leave but then come back into the canoe because it’s safe, comfortable and familiar; only to bail and return repeatedly?

If so, who is doing the hard work? Who is keeping the canoe afloat? Who is letting them back in because it’s easier to have them in the canoe for a while, instead of dropping them off on dry land and continuing the journey alone but happy?

Have you taken this metaphorical journey before? The next time you’re faced with that crossroads, consider whether your relationship could survive the canoe test. If it can’t, stay dry! It’s very likely that there is a nice yacht on your horizon.

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Here are 5 signs you’re too hard on yourself:

You allow a temporary setback to derail you completely.

You put too much pressure on one action for your happiness.

You do not act from our authentic truth because you’re afraid you’re “not good enough”.

You blame yourself for things outside of your control.

You spend time focusing on what you don’t have.

Final Thoughts to Remember When You Are Too Hard on Yourself

Here are 5 natural remedies for insomnia:

1. Take valerian or melatonin supplements to help beat insomnia.

2. Establish a relaxation routine before bed.

3. Use “white noise” machines to drown out any bothersome noises.

4. Avoid caffeine and alcohol, especially in the evening.

5. Spend at least thirty minutes outdoors each day to overcome insomnia.

Here are five times we always need to stand up for ourselves:

1 – We must stand up when we passionately believe in something.

2 – When we have a clear goal.

3 – Stand up to intimidation or bullying

4 – We should stand up when we must protect our time.

5 – When we need to set boundaries.

Here are five signs you’re underestimating yourself:

1. You have friends that bring you down.

2. You always compare yourself to other people.

3. You let your friends and family dictate your opinions and feelings.

4. You are underestimating yourself because you have low self-esteem.

5. You settle a lot in life instead of striving for more.

Here are five things you should never settle for:

1. Don’t settle for mediocrity

2. Negative relationships

3. Never settle for a job you hate

4. Living in a place that doesn’t make you happy

5. Living life by someone else’s rules

If you would like some insight into whether the future is going to be bright for your relationship, here is a fairly simple test that you can do.

Plan the trip.

We’re both in the canoe, now what?

When things get off course.

Now that we’re back on course.

The Community

Our Free Community of Positively Powerful SuperFans

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