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3 Ways To Deal With Passive Aggressive People

October 27, 2015 by Power of Positivity

Have you ever met someone who didn’t know how to express their emotions, and gave you the silent treatment when you did something wrong? If so, you have likely dealt with passive aggression before. Of course, this behavior can drain your energy over time if you surround yourself with these types of people often. They would rather leave you guessing about how they feel, sulking and withdrawing into their shell until you ask them how they feel.

This type of behavior most likely stems from childhood, where the parents may not have provided an open, nurturing environment for expressing feelings. According to Preston Ni, M.S.B.A., passive aggressive people usually have these four characteristics in common:

Reasoning with them is virtually impossible
Spending time with them is uncomfortable
They don’t express how they really feel often
They repeat these behaviors over and over again.

Indeed, they might not even realize how destructive their behavior is. That only makes it even easier for them to keep repeating the behaviors. Dealing with passive aggression comes with many challenges, especially if you have a close relationship with the person. However, you can take certain steps to make encounters with the person easier, and hopefully help them overcome their passive aggression.

Here are 3 ways to deal with passive aggressive people:

1. Let them know that they can openly express themselves with you.

Passive aggressive people have often been silenced in the past, so they don’t feel comfortable expressing themselves. Maybe their parents talked over them at the dinner table, or they didn’t seem interested in their child’s life. Understand that passive aggression stems from a complex set of situations and behaviors. Instead, passive aggressive people tend to cover up their feelings out of fear of the repercussions for expressing themselves.

Try to create a nurturing environment with them, and let them know that you won’t get upset or talk over them during a conversation. More than anything, passive aggressive people simply need a safe place to go to express themselves, and if you can provide that, it will make a relationship with this person much easier.

2. Keep asking questions if they seem hesitant to open up.

Sometimes, passive aggressive people will tell you they’re “fine,” when really, that couldn’t be further from the truth. If you suspect they’re hiding something from you, try to ask some more questions in order to get more of the story. Most of the time, passive aggressive people actually want others to show interest in them, because they likely didn’t get that sort of attention as a child. They might not open up to you at all, but simply showing you care can go a long way in the relationship.

However, don’t probe too deeply if you can tell they don’t want to talk. Ask a few simple questions to get the conversation moving. But if they continue to give you one word answers, or don’t talk at all, drop the subject and move on to something else. Passive aggressive people have a hard time opening up due to people in the past not listening to them. So self-expression doesn’t always come easily to them.

3. Remain calm, and listen to the person thoroughly before responding.

Passive aggressive people can’t stand being interrupted. Instead, they will likely either shut down completely, or blow up in your face for stifling their voice. With passive aggression, you get one of two types of extreme behavior: silent treatment, or a total onslaught of pent-up anger. While passive aggressive people usually don’t display violence, it can get pretty ugly when they finally decide to release their feelings they have harbored for a while. Whatever happens during the conversation, vow to stay calm and collected, and let them fully express themselves before you respond.

However, just because they lack communication skills and have emotional baggage does not give them the right to walk all over you. Stand your ground and communicate clearly. But don’t lose control and get mad at them. This will only cause things to escalate, and nothing good will come of it. Passive aggression can seem frustrating and unfair to deal with, but you can have a healthy relationship with these types of people if you just exercise a little patience.

Final Thoughts on Coping With the Passive Aggressive People You Will Meet in Life

Remember, no one is totally perfect, and people can’t help what kind of childhood they had. Usually, people just want someone to listen and show interest in what they have to say. So by doing these two simple things, communication with a passive aggressive person will go a lot more smoothly.

If You See A Teal Pumpkin This Halloween, Here’s What It Means

October 27, 2015 by Power of Positivity

If you just mention the word “Halloween,” kid’s faces light up with excitement and eagerness about getting their favorite candies and dressing up as a beloved princess or superhero.

Kids and Food Allergies

However, for kids who have food allergies, Halloween can seem like a nightmare, especially since they can’t eat most of the candy they got from trick-or-treating.

According to FoodAllergy.org, an estimated 1 in 13 children under the age of 18 in the U.S. have a food allergy, which equates to two in every classroom.

For these kids and their parents, having to sift through all the candy and worry about having a life-threatening reaction from an allergen in the candy can take all the fun out of Halloween. Not only do the children feel left out while watching their friends gorge on all the delicious candy, but they also will have wasted hours trick-or-treating and collecting candy, only to have to throw it all away at the end of the night.

What if you could do something to help these kids have a happy, safe Halloween and not have to stress about food allergies for one night?

To help out, all you need is an extra pumpkin, a can of teal paint, and the willingness to spread awareness for the Teal Pumpkin Project.

You might be wondering how putting out a teal pumpkin will do anything to help children with food allergies have a better Halloween, but when you put the teal pumpkin on your porch, it signals to children that your house is safe to go to. It tells them that you will hand out non-food items, so they won’t have to worry about allergens in the candy.

But, what else can you hand out on Halloween? Well, you can go to pretty much any dollar store, Walgreens, or Target and pick up some activity books, colors, stickers, or small toys for children to play with. Just because it might stray from tradition to hand out something other than candy, does not mean kids won’t still enjoy what you have to offer.

Even if you can only hand out one item, this will ensure that they have something to do on Halloween while their friends eat piles of candy, which will help them feel included. Best of all, they won’t have to worry about having an allergy attack, all because you left a teal pumpkin on your porch and gave them a safe non-food treat on Halloween!

The Teal Pumpkin Project

According to FoodAllergy.org, households from 50 states and 7 countries participated in the Teal Pumpkin Project in 2013. If you’d like to join 100,000 households across the world in showing your support and participation in the Teal Pumpkin Project, go here to take the pledge and get more information on how you can help!

Halloween should be a fun holiday for all children, regardless of if they have a food allergy or not. Luckily, you can do your part to make all children feel included, so simply buy an extra pumpkin, paint it teal, and leave a sign next to the pumpkin letting them know your house is safe!

If you do participate this year, make sure to use the hashtags #KeepItTeal and #TealPumpkinProject in order to keep spreading awareness for this worldwide movement!

This Is Why You Absolutely Need To Stop Wearing Shoes In Your House

October 24, 2015 by Power of Positivity

You may never have considered taking off your shoes at the door a priority unless you have high standards of household cleanliness or follow an Eastern cultural practice.

Well, it might be time to consider taking up the practice. That’s because there are several health-related reasons to start kicking off your shoes at the door. The soles of your shoes carry dirt. But they also may carry bacteria, viruses, and other pests into your living space. Removing this source of contamination can make your home safer and healthier.

Your shoes come in contact with various dirty surfaces during your day. These may include the floors of public restrooms, restaurants, public transportation, sidewalks, fitness facilities and your workplace. In these spaces, we expect a certain level of cleanliness. But we often have no control over whether the floor is clean or whether a dog recently did his business on the grass you walked on.

In your home, you can control the contamination of dirt from these public spaces by removing your shoes at or inside your entryway. Although developing this new habit may take some adjusting to, it will be worth it for your well-being.

Our household floors are the depositories for debris from our shoes, as anyone who’s ever vacuumed or mopped knows. But the dirt on our shoes isn’t as concerning as the stuff we can’t see.

Bacteria on our shoes can live and grow from the nutrients we provide for them as we walk around picking up more debris. We don’t often clean and disinfect our shoes, so the hazards remain there over time and spread as we walk.

Here’s Why You Should Remove Your Shoes Inside Your Home

So, why exactly should you take off your shoes in the house?

Good Morning America exposed the truth about our shoes when they found the number of bacteria from shoes to be a thousand times greater than that on a toilet seat.

Another study from the University of Arizona found nine different species of bacteria on shoes. The same study also found that 90% of the time, these bacteria can transfer to tile floors. However, carpeting is even worse for harboring bacteria since you cannot disinfect it easily.

Children learning to crawl and spend a lot of time on the floor are the most vulnerable to the bacteria from our shoes. However, it’s not just children that can be affected. It seems applying the five-second rule to food dropped on the floor may be five seconds too long.

There is some debate about whether we are overly clean and causing more health problems due to our over-sanitizing efforts. The pro-dirt side of the debate claims that by removing bacteria from our home environments, our children’s immune systems aren’t able to develop the resistance to fight off allergens and bacteria.

The anti-dirt side might easily win this argument though since the antibiotic resistant bacteria Clostridium difficile (also called C. diff) was found on shoes and can cause painful and deadly intestinal infections. Of course, other bacteria can be on the shoes, the most common being E. coli, likely transmitted to shoes from animal feces.

Other non-bacterial residue that we can track in on shoes includes toxic chemicals from pesticides or poisonous insecticides we come in contact with outside the home. According to an EPA study, our level of exposure to these chemicals that are brought into our homes by shoes may be greater than the pesticides found by eating non-organic produce.

Should Visitors Remove Their Footwear?

Since you are not the only person in your home who has shoe contaminants, handling visitors will require some tact. Fortunately, many professional contractors require their service personnel who enter homes to wear protective booties.

When guests arrive, ask them to please remove their shoes and provide a place for them to sit, for example, a footstool or bench near the door. Consider providing a basket or footwear shelf under your coat rack for a convenient place for shoes. You may also want to provide some clean, one-size slippers or socks if visitors prefer not to be barefoot in your house or if colder temperatures are a factor.

You may find that slipping on a clean pair of slippers or flip-flops for indoor use only is preferable to walking barefoot in your home, depending on the temperature and your personal comfort level. An alternative to leaving shoes at the door would be to carry them to your closet. If you carry your shoes, be sure to wash your hands afterward.

You’re not only relaxing in your home space by going barefoot; you’re making it a cleaner place to live. Kicking off your shoes at the end of the day never sounded so good!

9 Ways To Stop Bleeding In Under A Minute

October 23, 2015 by Power of Positivity

When an unexpected medical emergency arises, being ready to respond can make a difference in the quality of care. In the case of minor wounds, considered the on tools you have in your bathroom, kitchen, or garden to help you heal and even stop the bleeding when necessary.

Of course, it’s important to keep safety in mind when administering first aid by treating yourself or someone else. When in doubt, seek the help of a medical professional. Furthermore, remember that first aid is only the first line of defense until you can arrange medical treatment.

Here’s how to stop bleeding immediately:

Typical first aid for an open, bleeding wound is to immediately apply firm, direct pressure to the wound. If possible, apply gauze or clean fabric to the wound and apply pressure to the cloth rather than contaminating the wound with a hand or other tool that is not sterile.

It is important to seek immediate medical attention if you have the following:

Bleeding soaks through the fabric and cannot be stopped after ten minutes of firm, direct pressure
Blood squirts in pulse beats
The wound is in a major body part such as the head, neck, chest, abdomen, or groin

Here is a list of common household items that can help in a pinch:

Cayenne Pepper. Sprinkle a generous amount of powdered cayenne on an open wound to help blood clot and close the wound faster.
Geranium. An astringent styptic in the garden that helps wounds close quickly.
Salt. Rubbing salt in a wound may sound like it would make things worse. But salt can absorb blood that can help an open wound to dry, close and heal faster. Salt is a disinfectant and can pull toxins from the open wound to prevent infection.
Toothpaste. Dabbing toothpaste on a minor shaving cut has an astringent effect and can constrict blood vessels to help close the cut faster.
St. John’s Wort. This garden herb is an antiseptic and antiviral which helps heal wounds.
Witch Hazel. A natural astringent that helps stop the bleeding of minor cuts and scrapes and promotes healing by preventing infection.
Yarrow. A poultice made from the fresh leaves of Yarrow acts as an astringent to speed the closure of wounds.

Going to the kitchen or garden for herbs may not be your first instinct in a medical emergency, but with this list of natural blood clotting agents, there will be a natural, herbal remedy just a cupboard away.

In the case of a minor wound to the surface layers of the skin, where stitches are not required to close a cut, a home remedy may be helpful to help quickly stop the bleeding. Here are a few ideas for home remedies to stop bleeding.

Styptic Sticks

Men who regularly shave with a straight razor know that they are more likely to knick the skin than they would if they used a safety razor. Often they will have a styptic (also spelled stiptic) stick in their shaving kits. This styptic stick looks like a short white lip balm and is sometimes called a styptic pencil. The stick must first be wet with water and is then applied directly to a cut. It stops the bleeding by sealing the skin.

Pet groomers also traditionally carry styptic sticks for minor bleeding when a pet’s nails are clipped too close to the quick. A styptic stick is applied to the nail where the cut was made to stop bleeding and quickly close the wound. After use, rinse the stick again to rinse away any remaining blood on the pencil.

These sticks are readily available at drug stores and also in the grooming section of pet supply stores. The active ingredient in styptic sticks is alum. Alum is frequently used in pickling recipes and is sold in stores that carry pickling supplies. Do you have the powdered form of alum on hand in your kitchen? You can apply it to minor cuts in place of the styptic stick.

Botanical Herbs

The ingredients in styptic pencils can be replaced with botanical herbs that you may have on hand in your garden or kitchen. The key ingredients in botanical styptics act as astringents, which cause blood vessels to constrict, thus reducing blood flow. Some herbal styptics are also antiseptic or disinfectant by nature, which promotes healing. For these herbal remedies, wash the wound prior to applying the treatment and then wash again after bleeding has stopped prior to dressing the wound with a bandage.

Poultice

There are many common spices in our pantry that can be made into a poultice to help quickly stop a bleeding wound. To make a poultice, combine fresh or dried herbs with hot water and apply directly to the skin or place between two layers of clean cloth before applying.

After the successful treatment of the wound and once the bleeding is under control, it is important to follow up with a health professional to make sure the wound was adequately cleaned to help prevent infection and other complications down the road.

How A Single Word Creates Most Breakups

October 22, 2015 by Power of Positivity

Human beings are social creatures that thrive off of developing relationships. As such, we value the people we choose to share our lives with. As relationships mature and develop, they become more intimate and complex. Circumstances may arise that cause rifts in our relationships – with friends, family and our significant others. Indeed, it is important to minimize and mitigate these as they happen. Often times, it can be as simple as watching what you say.

Words are incredibly powerful things. Think about it: what can cause someone to be happy one moment, and then miserable the next? You guessed it: words. Many relationships have ended…ended…or become irreparably damaged, because of a slip of the tongue.

So, what are these words that we shouldn’t say? Sometimes, we don’t intend to hurt someone else by our words; this is where it gets a bit tricky.

Read these statements and conclude whether they are damaging or not:

“Sorry I didn’t reply to your calls or text messages. I’ve just been really busy.”

“That sounds like so much fun! Unfortunately, I’m busy with work.”

“I’d love to try that new place with you guys, but I’m busy with the kids.”

What do you think? On the surface, there certainly doesn’t seem to be anything wrong. After all, we all have responsibilities, so it’s safe to assume that they really are busy, right?

How Saying “I’m Busy” Devalues Your Relationships

Let’s discuss three reasons why the words “I’m busy” could leave you with fewer relationships…and three ways to address the issue better.

1. Everybody is busy

Here’s a newsflash that not really news at all: nearly every single person walking the earth is “busy.” If they’re not “busy,” they probably feel “busy.” To tell someone “I’m busy” is too quickly becoming a replacement phrase to avoid the discomfort of any kind.

After all, what is busy? You could be rushing around the office, grabbing at paperwork and spilling your coffee, or rushing inside the hotel where you’re staying on vacation. But when you think about it, these are not close to being one and the same.

To be truly “busy”, your schedule should be filled to the max with just enough time for family, food, and sleep. That’s busy. But most of us at least have some periods of downtime…downtime that we can (sometimes!) use to catch up with people who care about us and keep our relationships on good terms.

2. “Busy” is open to (often bad) interpretation

Most of us are caring individuals with good hearts, so we’ll grant some leeway to people that we care about. But when something becomes a bad habit, a consistent behavior that often leaves us hurt, then we are much less open to amicably agreeing with them.

More specifically, we’ll take “I’m busy” to a certain point…but when you’ve asked someone to meet for coffee and been denied for the tenth time, then you’re less likely to believe that they are indeed “busy”.

3. “I’m busy” often means “It’s not that important”

Balancing priorities is a difficult thing for many of us. We are so focused on careers, finances, and other things that it can make it extremely difficult to strike that ever-alluding “work/life” balance. The problem is that the words “I’m busy” do not elaborate on any of this, leading to others thinking that they’re just not that important.

In other words, “I’m busy” can lead to feelings of rejection – of them, their time, or their feelings. Of course, we don’t intend this often, but it’s not intention which is the problem here – it’s perception – the perception that the person is simply not important enough.

Although you may be tied up, there are ways to communicate more effectively and show the person that you do indeed care for them and their time.

That said, here are three tips on how to communicate better in relationships:

1. Elaborate

“I’m busy,” or a phrase to this effect, provides no specificity and is extremely vague. Of course, there are rare times when you simply must get off the phone ASAP (emergencies, an urgent meeting, etc.)

In non-emergency situations, a little more detail can go a long way. Let’s use an example to illustrate this:

“Gosh, I’d love to have your kids overnight, but I’m way too busy.”

“Unfortunately, I can’t have your kids overnight. Dave is already having people over for his Friday night poker with the boys.”

See the difference? The second statement provides reasoning, which is very important when telling someone “no”, whereas the first statement is simply a getaway phrase.

2. Arrange a time

If you are indeed busy or tuckered out from the demands placed on you, make an effort to arrange a different time. If you know that your kids need extra attention or you have an endless number of obligations, simply propose another time.

Here’s another area where an example is helpful:

“I’ve wanted to try that new restaurant! Unfortunately, I’m very busy.”

“Let’s try that new place! I can’t make this Friday night, but let’s do next Friday. I’m much more available then.”

Again, an immediate difference is felt, simply because of how the response is phrased. The first response demonstrates nothing except for that the “busy” person may want to try the new restaurant. The second response adds some enthusiasm and is proactively attempting to engage the other person, all while showing some initiative and flexibility.

It’s important to pause and emphasize the importance of effort in any relationship. Yes, we may be tied up, and our energy reserves diminished because of the demands placed on us. That said, we should remember that relationships are truly important; important enough to give some precious effort at times, even though it may be difficult.

3. Have that hard, honest conversation

If indeed you are putting off someone – not because of time constraints – then it’s important to have a conversation, as difficult as it may be.

For those of us who are non-confrontational (raises hand), this can be very (very) hard. But think of this: what does the other person deserve? Do they deserve having you continue to put them off, or do they deserve you to give it to them straight?

Regardless of the reason – lack of connection, lack of interest, etc. – it’s much easier, in the long run, to simply delay the inevitable. Time to say “Goodbye” and “Best wishes” instead of “I’m busy” over and over…and over.

Final Thoughts on Why Declaring You Are Busy Harms Relationships

You might be busy. Who isn’t? But declaring you are too involved with other stuff devalues the other person. It implies that your time is more valuable than theirs–whether you mean harm or not. Let’s sum it up with this wise quote:

“Words can inspire. And words can destroy. Choose yours well.” – Robin Sharma

What Does Your Sleep Position Say About You?

October 22, 2015 by Chris Butler

Did you know that your sleep position can reveal many things about your personality?

Sleep experts have extensively researched people’s sleep positions and how they can uncover important details about personality types. Just as much as your favorite color or car says a lot about your disposition, so does how you sleep, it turns out.

Whether you curl up in the fetal position while you sleep, turn over on your belly, or lie on your back, your sleep position can paint a pretty clear picture of who you are. Moreover, one study notes how you may move into several sleep positions in a single night.

Your Sleep Position Reveals These Things

Read on to find out what your sleep position says about you:

Log

The second most popular sleep position, people who sleep this way have their legs extended straight and their arms resting by their sides. Although this position looks uncomfortable and stiff, people who sleep this way surprisingly have the opposite personality. Log sleepers enjoy talking with all sorts of people and have an extroverted, friendly, nonchalant nature about them. They can sometimes trust people too quickly, however.

Yearner

The yearner sleep position looks very similar to the log, except that the person’s arms extend out in front of them instead of resting by their sides. Their legs are fully extended, and their body faces to the side. This can also be called the “mummy” position because it looks strikingly similar to a mummy. Sleep experts say that yearner sleepers have a very warm, open disposition but can also let their suspicions and cynicism keep them from getting too close in relationships. They take a long time to make crucial decisions, but once they have committed to a decision, they won’t change their mind under any circumstance. These folks have a mean, stubborn streak.

Soldier

Soldiers sleep on their backs, with their legs fully extended and arms lying beside them. Just like you might have expected, soldier sleepers have a very strong, tough exterior and don’t like to do too much talking. People who take this sleep position hold themselves and others to a very high standard and enjoy a structured, regimented lifestyle. They take things very seriously and expect a lot from themselves and others.

Free faller

A free faller sleeps on their stomach, with their head twisted to one side and their arms hugging the pillow. People who choose this sleep position to have an easygoing outlook on life and have a playful, open personality. They love to have fun and enjoy other people’s company and don’t like to feel tied down to anything. Many people consider them free spirits, although inside, they actually feel anxious and want stability over everything else. They can be very blunt and tactless but don’t mean any harm. They also love taking risks as much as possible but take other people’s opinions of them and their decisions to heart.

Starfish

The least popular sleep position, starfish dozers sleep on their backs, with their legs outstretched and their arms curved up by their heads. As you might guess, people who sleep this way are very open, friendly, and want to help their friends out however they can. They are very loyal, trusting people and put their friends and family above anything else. They also make very good listeners and will give you their undivided attention if you have something on your mind that you need to talk about.

Fetal

According to research, 41 percent of people sleep in the fetal position, making it the most popular sleep position. More than twice as many women as men tend to sleep this way, according to sleep specialist Chris Idzikowski, Ph.D., a director of the Sleep Assessment and Advisory Service in London and the author of the book Learn to Sleep Well. People who sleep this way have a tough exterior but are very soft and sensitive on the inside. They have a shy disposition and tend to mull over problems and let their worries take over their lives sometimes.

We spend approximately one-third of our lives sleeping, so how we sleep plays a big role in our overall personality and outlook on life.

Final Thoughts on Having a Better Understanding of Your Sleep Position

Did your sleeping position describe you? If so, share it with your friends and family, and let them see what their sleeping position says about them!

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