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5 Signs You’re Settling For Less Than You Deserve

In our minds, there are often two mental images we have of ourselves. There is the mental image of where we are right now in our current reality. Then there’s the mental image of where we want to be. And we usually want to be a happy, more successful, fitter, healthier, and more confident ‘us.’

How big is the difference between your two mental images; and is the image of the ‘now’ occasionally darker than the reality? This is an internal divide we all face.

If our ‘present’ image is not what we would like it to be, there is a chance that we are settling for less than we deserve. Or maybe that we have accepted our current reality because of weariness or bad experiences.

Here are five signs that we’re settling for less than we deserve:

Watch for these five red flags.

1. We are often envious of what others have and are doing.

We may be envious of the success of another person, or their popularity, their style, their looks, their wealth, or their position in life. It is natural to feel like this from time to time, but it’s unhealthy if the feeling lingers too long and takes hold.

Let’s take a look at the reality of the situation. First of all, what we see and envy about someone else is only our perception and may not reflect reality. And even if it is reality and we feel we are settling for less, what are we going to do about it?

When we spend time being envious of what others have, we do not recognize all the things for which we should be grateful for in our lives. We do not limit our envy to those we know, most of the time; we can be just as envious of strangers. The bottom line is the “grass is always greener” syndrome keeps us from recognizing the good in our lives.

We know that being envious or angry at the success of another is merely taking away from our happiness. It just isn’t healthy or productive to spend any amount of our time obsessing over what others have. If we truly feel we need to achieve something, make it for the right reasons and take the necessary actions to move towards the goal instead of settling for your current reality.

2. When we spend our day waiting for it to be over.

When we are having a bad day and simply hoping to get through it, we are doing ourselves a disservice because we have given up. We must remember that even in the midst of a bad day there is always something that can make the day better. If we are hoping just to get the day over with, it might be time to rethink our attitude and look for the silver lining.

3. We spend our time avoiding the things that need to be done.

Let’s face it, not everything in our day is fun and exhilarating. In fact, there are a lot of not-so-exciting actions that needs to take place to keep on the path to our potential. The problem is we just don’t like doing the boring stuff, and that means we are settling and making it difficult to achieve our goals.

Many times the avoidance of these tasks come by way of distractions that do not lend value to our life. When we allow ourselves to be taken away from what we need to do to achieve big things, we are not honoring our truth. The goal is to keep focused on the goal so we’re not settling for less than we deserve.

4. Life isn’t going as planned.

Sometimes life throws us a few curve balls, and it gets us off our game. Maybe nothing is inspiring us anymore, or we find ourselves playing it safe and settling for mediocrity. Our get-up-and-go has got up and left! It’s important that we get it back, and we can do that by spending time fostering our creative self. We need to take the time to take care of our mental well-being so we can navigate the challenges of daily life.

5. You doubt everything!

A little self-doubt is a good thing. It makes us try harder or think things through just one more time before we commit to something important. If frequent doubt goes unchecked, though, the minor doubts can grow into something far greater and can end up defining a lot of our decisions and thought processes. In other words, it can hold us back. To grow more confident in who we are and what we believe, we must continue to take action. It’s that action that helps eliminate the self-doubt.

It’s time to stop and think about what we deserve. It’s hard to know whether we are settling for less if we don’t have a clear understanding of our true worth. We can do that by getting clear on our goals and the whys behind them. Clarity of purpose is a great compass for life.

8 Reasons Morning People Are Healthier Than The Rest Of Us

No matter if you stay awake until the early morning hours or not, we’re all pre-wired to wake up when the sun starts to shine.

Think about it: if we still lived out in nature as the universe intended, we would all go to sleep a little after the sunset, and wake up as the sun rose because our bodies would be more in tune with the natural rhythms of the world. Since we live in a man-made environment now, many of us have a hard time getting to sleep early and waking up early, because unnatural lights (such as those from computers, TVs, and cell phones) keep us awake. Out in nature, we wouldn’t have any of these artificial light sources keeping us up.

Tracey Marks, a psychiatrist from Atlanta and author of Master Your Sleep, told USNews.com, “We are supposed to be awake when it’s light outside and asleep when it’s dark outside.”

Even if you have difficulty going to bed at a decent hour, you can train your body to become a morning person and reap all of the health benefits of waking up earlier.

Here are 8 reasons why morning people are healthier than the rest of us:

morning people

1. Morning people have lower body fat levels.

It turns out that those who get most of their light exposure between 8 AM and noon have lower body fat than those who obtain their Vitamin D later in the day. According to Northwestern University research published this past spring, people who got most of their sunlight during morning hours had a lower body mass index (BMI) than those who soaked up the sun later in the day. Something else interesting to note is that these results were independent of people’s activity levels or caloric intake.

“Light is the most potent agent to synchronize your internal body clock that regulates circadian rhythms, which in turn also regulate energy balance,” study senior author Phyllis C. Zee, MD, told ScienceDaily.com. “If you don’t get sufficient light at the appropriate time of day, it could de-synchronize your internal body clock, which is known to alter metabolism and can lead to weight gain.”

2. They drive better.

Not surprisingly, morning people have better driving skills than night owls, according to a study done by Spanish researchers. Granada researchers studied the biological rhythms of 29 University of Granada students, some who identified as night owls and others who labeled themselves as morning people. When they asked the night owls to drive at 8 AM, they did significantly worse than when the researchers asked them to get behind the wheel at 8 PM. However, the morning people performed well at both times of the day. The researchers found that morning people show more care for detail and exhibit higher diligence compared to night owls, which explains their ability to drive well at any hour of the day or night.

3. Morning people are go-getters.

Many studies have linked an ambitious attitude to higher wages, better job performance, and a greater success rate than those who don’t exhibit such high levels of proactivity. When Harvard biologist Christoph Randler polled undergrads a few years ago, he found morning people had higher levels of agreement with statements such as “??I spend time identifying long-range goals for myself” and “I feel in charge of making things happen,” Harvard Business Review reported.

4. Happiness comes easier to them.

Exposure to morning light can lower depression risk and boost energy levels, which may explain why morning people are happier overall than night owls.

When the University of Toronto researchers surveyed more than 700 adults on their sleeping habits, mood, and overall health, they discovered that morning people who got up around 7 AM or earlier had up to a 25 percent increase in feelings of happiness, cheerfulness, and alertness.

morning people

5. Morning people exercise more.

More and more studies have been proving that working out in the morning is ideal for those who wish to keep up a routine and see the best results from their workouts.

“In terms of performing a consistent exercise habit, individuals who exercise in the morning tend to do better,”? Cedric Bryant, Ph.D., chief science officer with the American Council on Exercise, said on OrnishSpectrum.com.

Because they get their workout out of the way earlier in the day, they tend to stick with the routine easier than someone who gets home from work and must head straight to the gym afterward. You could use the excuse of being too tired to work out when you get home from a long day at work, but for morning people, it invigorates them, even more, to jump out of bed and get their sweat on first thing in the morning.

6. Bosses have a better impression of those who get up earlier.

Corporate bosses tend to view morning people as more conscientious and ambitious, according to a 2014 study by the Journal of Applied Psychology. Supervisors think of people who clock in later as less diligent and mindful of their jobs than those who get to work earlier. However, if your boss turns out to be a night owl, he or she will probably have a soft spot for night owls and not come down so hard on you if you clock in late now and then.

7. They get better grades in school.

“It’s easier to get to your classes on time and study if you get up earlier,” study author Daniel J. Taylor, Ph.D., associate professor of psychology at the University of North Texas in Denton.

Although college students can choose when to take classes, early birds still get the worm. A study of more than eight hundred students found that morning people had a GPA that was a whole point higher than that of their night owl colleagues (3.5 vs. 2.5).

8. Morning people who have diabetes have better blood sugar levels.

Many studies have reported that going to bed late might negatively affect your blood sugar levels and cause other health problems, such as coronary artery disease, metabolic syndrome, impaired glucose intolerance, and obesity. Night owls also tend to consume most of their calories late in the day, which can cause metabolic issues down the road. One study found that, among Japanese adults with type 2 diabetes, night owls had higher HbA1C levels (a measure of blood sugar control), triglycerides, and LDL cholesterol than morning people.

morning people

Final Thoughts on Morning People

Morning people enjoy many health benefits. Their early start gives them the advantage of a more efficient metabolism, accomplishing tasks earlier in the day to eliminate worry, and finding the time to exercise. Give it a try! Start by rising just thirty minutes earlier and see how much you enjoy that extra time.

5 Signs You’re In a Relationship With An Enlightened Woman

While it’s rare to come across an enlightened woman in today’s world, you will know it when you do come across her. She carries herself differently, with an air of confidence and, at the same time, humility. She knows what she wants, and doesn’t hesitate to go after it. An enlightened woman doesn’t worry about what other people think of her, because she knows only her opinion of herself matters in the end. As an enlightened woman, she knows that she steers her own vessel, and can go wherever she pleases in life. Enlightened women just seem to know things that the masses don’t know, which makes them seem as if they came from some other far away planet, rather than this one.

Here are 5 signs you’re in a relationship with an enlightened woman:

enlightened woman

1. She takes time to reconnect with herself (meditation, yoga, etc)

An enlightened woman knows that silencing her thoughts and regaining strength and balance will help her to establish a better relationship with herself. No matter how busy her schedule, she takes some time out of each day to sink into the beauty of solitude and relaxation, whether through yoga, meditation, or some other calming ritual.

An enlightened woman realizes that through the chaos and constant hustle and bustle of the world, going within provides the only solace and relief from this overworked, overtired, crazy world we live in. She looks forward to every chance she gets to disconnect from the “real world,” and reconnect to what truly matters: the universe within her heart and soul.

2. She doesn’t let other people’s opinions keep her from her dreams.

An enlightened woman follows her dreams, no matter if everyone else can see them or not. She doesn’t care what other people think of her or her life plans; she knows what she wants, and doesn’t stop until she gets it. However, she doesn’t totally discard people’s opinions; she will listen quietly and respect people’s right to voice their opinions. She just doesn’t let those opinions keep her from her ultimate goals in life. People see her as headstrong, fierce, and goddess-like, because she believes in herself and doesn’t let anyone cut her down.

3. An enlightened woman doesn’t blindly follow the masses just to feel accepted.

An enlightened woman will march to the beat of her own drum, regardless of how everyone around her chooses to live. She doesn’t care if people accept her, because she knows that it only matters if she accepts herself. She might live a totally different lifestyle than the people around her do, but that doesn’t bother her. As long as she stays true to her heart and lives according to her highest truth, then she feels content and balanced in life. She knows that if everyone does something, it probably isn’t the best thing to do, so she creates her own rules, and doesn’t apologize for it.

4. She treats everyone she meets with kindness and respect.

Even if she doesn’t see eye to eye with everyone in her life, she still treats them like she would want to be treated. She doesn’t judge them or condemn them for their beliefs. Instead, she realizes that everyone must walk their own path in life, and honors that. She doesn’t bash people or make them feel bad. In fact, she lifts them up and makes them see the brightest parts of themselves, even if they can’t see that. She wants everyone to feel good about themselves, and shares all of her positive energy with everyone she meets.

5. An enlightened woman doesn’t fear the future; she embraces it.

While most people live in fear of the unknown, this excites her. The endless possibilities that await her in the future fill her with a sense of wonder and hope. She knows that worrying about the future only takes away this moment’s opportunity for peace, so she simply lives in the present and creates her future as she goes along. An enlightened woman knows that trying to control and predict life will only frustrate and disappoint, so she chooses to not let the worries of a date that hasn’t happened yet get to her. She embraces everything that happens in her life, whether good or bad, knowing that each situation holds an important lesson along her journey.

5 Signs You’re Being Too Hard On Yourself

Are you often too hard on yourself?

It’s easy to be forgiving to someone else but a lot harder to be forgiving to ourselves. Many people would argue that forgiveness begins at home. We can’t live our best life or do our best work unless we commit to forgiving ourselves of the mistakes we will undoubtedly make. In essence, we must learn to forgive ourselves for being what we are – human.

When it comes to self-reflection, we often ignore the positive things that make us who we are. Instead, we focus on the wrong turns we’ve taken, not realizing those turns often lead us to the right path in life. Things that throw us off track and catch us off guard in life should not define us.

“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.” ~ Steve Maraboli

Here are 5 signs you’re too hard on yourself:

end the night positive thoughts - mantras

You allow a temporary setback to derail you completely.

When we are in the thick of things, it can be hard not to see a temporary setback for what it is – just a temporary setback. Where we are today is the culmination of every right turn we have ever made and every wrong one. We result from every good and bad decision, every thriving and failed relationship and every prosperous and financially poor opportunity we’ve invested in. The bottom line, we are precisely where we need to be – even though sometimes it’s hard to see.

If there is one thing we should know for sure, it’s that tomorrow is another day and the opportunity to succeed or fail comes with it. Will we choose to be crushed by it or go with the flow? It’s important to forgive ourselves of the mistakes we made yesterday so we can make better decisions today.

You put too much pressure on one action for your happiness.

There is not one single action we take that will bring about the end of the world. Sure, sometimes there are serious consequences when we choose poorly, but everything is fixable. We live, we love, and we lose. Unfortunately, sometimes we take actions that don’t always end up the way we want. That doesn’t mean taking the action was a complete loss. What matters is if we learn from the situation to improve next time. In the end, remember we are still standing and still living and that the world will turn tomorrow, the same as it is today.

You do not act from our authentic truth because you’re afraid you’re “not good enough”.

It is easy for self-doubt to creep into our psyche, causing us to second guess everything we think and do. We must look to our decisions and determine if we are making the best possible decision based on the available information. If we can answer yes, then we should feel confident moving forward and believe that the outcome is meant to be – whether good or bad.

You blame yourself for things outside of your control.

We have two choices when things do not go according to plan. We can either change it or accept it. What we can’t do is continue to blame ourselves for the same actions over and over again. The next time we find ourselves frustrated or angry, it’s important to understand our role in it and either choose to do something differently or commit to letting go of the emotion it holds over us.

You spend time focusing on what you don’t have.

It’s easy to be hard on ourselves when we spend our day looking at everything we have yet to accomplish. Our day would be better spent focusing on the achievements we’ve made.

End each day focusing on the stuff that went right. Sleeping with a sense of accomplishment will help you start on the right foot tomorrow.

Final Thoughts to Remember When You Are Too Hard on Yourself

Sometimes it is okay to be hard on yourself. It drives us and gives us purpose and direction. There is a danger that our thoughts might become a burden we carry through life, particularly if we are not careful about dealing with negativity or failures at the earliest opportunity.

It can be hard to get a fair perspective when amid turmoil or negativity, which is why it’s necessary to question things and try to find the lesson.

Most days tend to have more good than bad, but we remember the bad. Let’s commit to spending time each day with a focus of what went right instead of dwelling on what went wrong. That one thing will help you stop being so hard on yourself.

5 Remedies For Insomnia

Unfortunately, many people have trouble falling and staying asleep in today’s world; about 40 percent of adults suffer from insomnia, according to the National Sleep Foundation. Of course, the rising number of people who have insomnia doesn’t come as a surprise when you think about how our society runs today – phone and computer screens in our faces almost all day, rushing from one place to another to do errands and meet deadlines, eating whatever we can find in order to just scrape by, and, in general, living without adequate relaxation time.

Losing so much sleep on a regular basis can contribute to many dangerous health problems, including diabetes, heart disease, and even obesity. In order to feel your best and get a restful night’s sleep, you might need a few tips to help you get to sleep easier.

Here are 5 natural remedies for insomnia:

natural insomnia cures

1. Take valerian or melatonin supplements to help beat insomnia.

Used for many centuries now, Valerian is a natural sedative which will help you relax and fall asleep faster. You’ll find them in health food stores and pharmacies in capsule form. You will want to take one or two a half hour before bed to allow it to start working in your system. Another option is melatonin supplements, which help regulate the sleep/wakefulness cycle. You can either buy sublingual tablets or capsules to take each day before bed. .25 to .3 mg is most effective for steady use.

2. Establish a relaxation routine before bed.

For insomnia sufferers, many don’t have a regular routine at bedtime, which leaves their minds wandering onto any subject except that of falling asleep. Make sure you have some sort of bedtime schedule, whether you like to take a warm bath, meditate, do a yoga sequence, go for a short walk around the neighborhood, read a book, etc. This way, your body will start to get into a natural rhythm and know what to expect as you wind down at the end of the day.

3. Use “white noise” machines to drown out any bothersome noises.

If you have a particularly noisy home, you might want to try blocking out the sound with a white noise machine. These machines make noises that sound like a rushing waterfall or wind blowing through the trees, which will calm your nerves and get your mind ready to drift off into a deep sleep. You can find these machines at many outlets and retailers online and in physical stores, available in large varieties based on your personal preferences.

4. Avoid caffeine and alcohol, especially in the evening.

Since caffeine is a stimulant, it will only get your heart beating fast, blood pumping, and mind wired when you’re trying to get ready for bed. That’s the last thing you want, so avoid drinking any coffee, sodas, or energy drinks long before you fall asleep at night. Alcohol is a depressant, so you might wonder why you would want to avoid it during the evening. Irshaad Ebrahim, the medical director at The London Sleep Centre in the U.K., has the answer.

“Alcohol may seem to be helping you to sleep, as it helps induce sleep, but overall it is more disruptive to sleep, particularly in the second half of the night. Alcohol also suppresses breathing and can precipitate sleep apnea.”

While alcohol might seem to help you fall asleep faster and make you drowsy, it ultimately interrupts REM sleep, which helps us restore and regrow cells, and simply recover from the day before. Alcohol spikes insulin levels, which also explains why you wake up in the middle of the night feeling restless with your heart beating rapidly.

Instead of alcohol and caffeine, go for a nice cup of decaf herbal tea at night to get you relaxed and ready for a sound night’s sleep.

5. Spend at least thirty minutes outdoors each day to overcome insomnia.

We spend far too much time indoors in our society today, and the unnatural lighting from cell phone and computer screens, fluorescent lights, and LED lights can disrupt our circadian rhythm. Make sure you spend at least thirty minutes outside each day in order to soak up some natural light and help balance your body’s chemistry. Your brain absolutely needs sunshine and fresh air in order to function properly, so make sure to give it what it needs and get out of the house or office at some point during the day.

5 Times You Need to Stand Up For Yourself

We’ve all taken a seat on the people-pleasing train a time or two. We do things for people we don’t want to do, we accept an opinion we don’t believe, and we allow others to treat us unfairly so that we can keep the waters calm. All this does is sacrifice our happiness to make someone else happy.

While on the surface, it may seem smart and even admirable to constantly be doing things for others, there is a time when we must stand up for our needs first. It’s important to our happiness to be compassionate and giving to others, but there’s a fine line between serving others and living a life of servitude.

Our happiness is important. In fact, it is important enough to warrant a little selfishness on our part. Not the kind that is malicious in intent but makes us stronger and more secure in who we are. Standing up for ourselves when it’s easier to give in helps us to live in our authentic truth.

Our happiness, and ultimately our lives, are defined by the choices we make. When we allow other people to tell us how to feel, they are making those choices for us, and we are giving away our truth. Life is too short to live a life others want us to live. Giving in is a sign we’ve stopped caring about who we are and capable of being.

It’s time to stop caring about how other people will respond and stand up for ourselves when needed.

Here are five times we always need to stand up for ourselves:

stand up

1 – We must stand up when we passionately believe in something.

It’s hard to sit and listen to someone talk about something that goes against what you believe. Yet, we do it all the time because we don’t want to cause a scene, or we don’t think disagreeing will change anyone’s mind. Often, remaining silent gives the impression that we agree with the sentiment. As a result, we are not honoring our truth.

We should tell people why we stand up for those ideals when we passionately believe in something. We may not change anyone’s mind, but we may change the conversation. This can be difficult, so practice the argument and consider the objections beforehand. The more we start letting people know what we believe, the easier it becomes.

2 – When we have a clear goal.

It is so easy to take on a project or do a favor for a friend that is in direct conflict with a goal we’re working towards. Our first instinct is to help others; while noble, it can detract us from the things that matter in our lives. Always keep sight of the things that matter and support a happy life. Sometimes it is necessary to say “no” to stay on track for our big goals and stand up for what we believe in.

3 – Stand up to intimidation or bullying

Bullying doesn’t just happen on the playground; it happens everywhere. Whenever someone becomes adamant that we should do something or think a certain way; we are being bullied. Like most bullying, the real damage is to our emotional well-being. We must learn to stand up for ourselves and others by calling out the behavior and not allowing the loudest or most persistent person to control the outcome of any situation.

4 – We should stand up when we must protect our time.

Time is one of our most valuable assets and a finite resource you cannot take back after giving it. We need time to do the things that are important to us, the things we are called to do. We need time for the people that matter most to us, to take action towards achieving our big goals, and to practice gratitude and appreciate all we are. Every time we say yes, we are saying no to something else. We must ensure we are not saying “no” to something that will help us grow into who we are capable of being. It is okay and even required to say no to protect our time.

stand up

5 – When we need to set boundaries.

Some people just do not understand the boundaries of what is acceptable to one person and what is not. It is important to let people know what our personal boundaries are. Let’s create a dialog around what we are comfortable talking about and what we are not, what we are comfortable doing and what we’re not, and most importantly, what we are comfortable feeling and what we’re not. When we have a clear picture of our boundaries, it becomes easier to honor and stand up for our truth.

Standing up for ourselves won’t guarantee we will get our way, but we will feel like we have more control over our life’s direction.

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