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7 Strategies for Dealing With A Bad Day

Let us face it. Regardless of how much progress we make, we will still have bad days.

Everyone experiences tough times, bumps in the road and an abundance of negative thoughts from time to time. With so many outside influences affecting our mood, it’s no wonder it’s hard sometimes to stay in a place of positivity. At times, a bad day can seem like the end of the world, and it’s up to us to pull ourselves out of the funk.

Listed here are some quick steps you could take to help you overcome a bad day:

1. Get in touch with your support network.

When we are having a bad day, it is tempting to go and hide out. Research shows that contact with others, especially people that are supportive of us and are happy enhances our mood. So we must make sure we see or talk to other people, particularly people you that are important to us.

2. Listen to music.

Get out your favorite playlist. Music has a way of elevating our mood. Catchy beats, good lyrics and an artist we resonate with can turn our bad day around with just a song or too. So put on the tunes. Oh and a little dancing won’t hurt.

If part of your bad day includes a lot of angst and drama, then maybe switch gears to some calming music. Research has found that hearing classical music for only 10 minutes a day reduced participants’ bad moods. And in another study, scientists found that hearing music dropped blood pressure, heart rate and levels of anxiety hormone cortisol.

3. Play dress up.

Put on some fancy or pretty clothes. Sometimes, dressing the part can help elevate our day. At times we can get very stressed by clothing; it can feel limiting and can cause anxiety, and we might not even be aware of it. Changing clothes to something more comfortable or appropriate will help us feel better about ourselves and the situation.

4. Exercise.

Make sure you exercise because it is a natural and automatic mood booster. Whenever we’re feeling down, heading outside for a run (or walk) or hitting the treadmill will produce a shift in how you feel and how you are looking at things. Even something as simple as a stretching routine or a few yoga postures can create a big change in your bad day.

5. Eat better.

When we are having a bad day, it will serve us well to look at our nutrition habits. Are we eating and staying properly hydrated? If the answer is yes, then are we eating foods that are good for us, or are we driving through somewhere? Choosing good fuel for our bodies not only nourishes us and gives us energy, but it also feeds our mind so we can rationally approach our challenges.

5. Do nice things for somebody else.

Do good deeds and allow the good to overtake the bad. When we are giving of ourselves without an agenda, our mood automatically shifts into a place of kindness and gratitude. It is a powerful prescription for a day that is draining our energy.

6. Assume control.

When we feel like we have little control of over our lives, even if we are happy, this lack of control leaves us feeling powerless. When a certain situation is bothering us, we need to identify the parts we can control. For example, when we wake up late, we can’t change the fact that our schedule is off, but we can look at how to reconfigure our morning to arrive on time. We can also choose to be late and explain the situation honestly and thoroughly to our boss. What we don’t need to do is start our day off by beating ourselves up because we woke up late. We just need to move on.

7. Get outside.

Being in nature and breathing fresh air in natural light is an automatic mood enhancer and can help calm the chaos around you. When we get outside, we see the best of our world. The plants and trees, the architecture, and even other people can all help put things into perspective so you can go back to your day with a better outlook.

So when we find ourselves waking up on the wrong side of the bed, the first step is to find a way to shift our perspective and calm our mind. It’s in that state of calm that you can recognize why you are feeling what you’re feeling and start to take the right kinds of action towards setting your day back on the right track.

There are plenty of other ways to combat a bad day: meditation, practicing mindfulness or even sitting in quiet to help step out of the drama and put things into a more rational perspective. When we take action instead of reacting to the challenges we face, we can turn a bad day around on a dime.

5 Ways to Start A New Life Today

“Every new day is another chance to change your life.” – Unknown

Oftentimes, people think they need to make radical changes in their lives in order to see big results. However, sometimes just a shift in our thinking can provide a catalyst for the change we wish to see in our realities. After all, we become what we think, and we attract what we are, so we must utilize our own power if we want to start living a different life.

You hold the key to a new reality, and one thought could flip your world upside down if you simply believe in your own ability to create positive change.

If you want to change your life TODAY, here are 5 simple things you can start doing now:

1. Give up the “all or nothing” mentality.

Even the most positive, self-confident people in the world have spells of insecurity and negative thinking sometimes, but it can become debilitating if you actually believe these thoughts. For example, let’s say you want to get a higher paying job. You might tell yourself “If I don’t land this job, then I will never find anything else and that means I just don’t deserve anything better.” See how damaging this type of thinking can be? By telling ourselves we won’t find happiness and fulfillment unless a certain event occurs, then we have vested all our faith and energy in an outcome. This means that if something different happens, our rigid way of thinking will prevent us from seeing the bigger picture, and realizing the universe simply had different plans for us.

Rather than thinking in absolute terms and conjuring up the worst case scenario in your mind, start thinking more realistically. Self-defeating thoughts can really prevent you from living up to your full potential, and trick you into thinking you can never change your life due to one event or situation.

2. Stop labeling yourself.

When you label yourself, you limit yourself. You place yourself in a box full of stereotypes and society’s preconceived ideas of what people should act like, which inhibits you from recognizing your Higher self outside of worldly labels. You don’t have to assume any identity in order to express the real you; we all are simply energy that manifested into form, and don’t need labels to separate us from our Oneness. Simply say “I am” and don’t feel the need to finish the sentence. Go out and live your life and do things that make you feel like more of yourself, without becoming attached to words that describe your personality or lifestyle.

For example, let’s say you tell yourself that you’re shy, so you can’t go to a party with people you don’t really know. Or maybe you identify as a New Age hippie, so you think you can’t go shopping for new clothes if you want them. These labels just serve to bar you from new experiences in life, and can really take hold of your mind if you let them. Release your need to fit into a certain group, and just accept yourself as never-ending, free-flowing energy. This is when you can change your life, when you can realize that you’re already a free and limitless being.

“Give up who you are to become who you might be.” – Unknown

3. Don’t value the opinions of others over your opinion of yourself.

Most of us still live in some degree of fear of other people’s opinions. We second guess ourselves and end up doing things we don’t really enjoy to impress other people. We desperately want to fit in and feel accepted, so we rely on other people to provide us with that security and comfort. However, if you live your entire life caring about what other people will think of you, then you will never experience life at all. You will only see the world through other people’s eyes and wear a mask over your true identity. You possess all the power and confidence you need already; you must rise above the chatter and judgments of others, and reclaim your soul by simply going within for answers. Look to yourself for acceptance and love, and it won’t matter then if others approve of you or not. Once you learn to value your own opinion more than those of others, you will start to see the leaves of change in your life.

4. Replace the “I can’ts” with “I cans.”

Another form of degrading thoughts, the “I can’t” mentality can stop you in your tracks before you’ve even taken a step forward. If you don’t think you’re good enough or deserving of something, then of course, it won’t show up in your life because you’ve created a blockage. You have put up walls to keep out potentially amazing things from manifesting in your reality, and told yourself you can’t achieve what you want before you even try. The universe works with the Law of Attraction, so whatever you think will show up in your life, regardless of if you want it or not.

If you don’t like what you see in your life, the primary culprit here is your mind. Change your thoughts, change your life!

5. Stop comparing yourself to others.

Comparison does nothing for you, except make you doubt yourself and feel inferior to others. It can make you feel worthless if you expect your life to look exactly like someone else’s, and will most certainly only pave the road to disappointment. Or, you could use it in the opposite way, in order to feel better about yourself and where you’re at in life. It helps to remember that everyone here is on their own journey, and no one is inherently better than anyone else. We all have our own roads to take, our own destinies to fulfill. Your path will look differently than your neighbor’s, your sister’s, and your friend’s, and this doesn’t mean you have chosen the wrong route.

It means you have certain lessons you need to learn here that might differ from others, so stop comparing your journey to everyone else’s. Focus on how you can become a better person, and everything will start to fall into place.

10 Things To Stop Doing To Yourself

Many people put themselves through unwanted pain as a result of the unhealthy beliefs, behaviors and thoughts they possess. They’re so unmindful of their surroundings that they blame outside influences for just how unhappy they are.  They see the need for everyone around them to stop hurting them while, in fact, they are the ones are hurting themselves.

So, stop putting yourself through the things that weigh down your mind, your body, your heart. Eliminating the things that do not serve you, or make you happy is the only true way to open the door for positive things to come.

Here are 10 things to stop putting yourself through:

stop putting yourself

1. Stop waiting for life to begin.

Right now is the time of your life – whether you realize it or not. But if we waste this time by awaiting life to begin, then we’ll spend all of our life waiting, failing to understand that during our time spent waiting, our life has already been unfolding.

Waiting is a mindset that means that we need the future; we do not need the present. We do not want what we have, and we need what we don’t have. Waiting lowers the quality of our life by causing us to lose focus on the present.

2. Stop comparing yourself to others.

Our job here on Earth is not to be better than others, but to be better than we were in the past.

Rather than wasting our time and energy to comparing ourselves to others, we should use that energy doing things to make us better, to make us happier. Stop putting yourself through the misery of comparison, and instead, embrace the beauty of your own unique energy.

3. Stop running away from your problems.

Face them even when it isn’t easy. There’s no one on earth capable of perfectly handling all the punches thrown at them. We can’t always immediately resolve problems, but we don’t have to run away from them either.

We are wired to be sad, hurt, upset, stumble and sometimes even fall. It is through these challenges that we end up finding our strengths and our calling.  It’s how we deal with our problems that make us who we are. Stop putting yourself through the revolving door that is escaping from your problems, and tackle them head on. Then, you can move on to bigger and better things, rather than encountering the same lessons over and over.

4. Stop worrying.

It’s time to put our worries aside; they aren’t contributing to our life in any way. Instead of worrying, contemplate what is happening and look for the possibility. Our intuition will help guide us to a place of peace beyond what we can understand.  Trusting that everything will work out as it’s meant to and following our inner guide will help alleviate the worry, so stop putting yourself through the horrible anxiety and stress that comes with incessant worry.

5. Stop doubting yourself.

We must find the confidence within ourselves to move through challenges. Understand that there’s something within us that will give us the courage and confidence we need at the right time. We need to start trusting this “something” and stop doubting ourselves. Understand that no one is here by mistake, nobody is flawed. Everyone has different talents that are required in this world, so stop putting yourself through the prison of doubt, and believe in yourself no matter what.

6. Stop trying so hard to make everybody love you.

If we want people to love us, we need to stop trying so hard. Rather than chasing and asking for love and approval, let’s focus on living our life in a manner that could make people want to be a part of the happiness. Living our life is finding things that we’re enthusiastic about, the things that make our heart and soul sing with joy. When we do this, not only will we attract the right kind of people into our life, we will learn to love ourselves and in turn be happier. With that said, stop putting yourself through unnecessary stress by trying to live up to the expectations of others. Instead, worry about the standards you have set for yourself.

7. Stop lying to yourself.

We can lie to anybody, and they may or may not know the difference. The one thing we can’t do is lie to ourselves. Our way of life improves only after we take chances, and the very first and most challenging chance we could take is to always to be truthful with ourselves. The only way we can improve in life is to be totally transparent with ourselves.

8. Stop wasting time showing yourself to other people.

Our friends do not need us to showboat to know our true value, and our enemies won’t believe it.  Do things for the right reasons from a place of service and gratitude, and you won’t need to impress anyone to feel better about yourself.

9. Stop making complaints and feeling sorry for yourself.

There is a purpose in every challenge we experience, and the purpose is to help us move in the right direction. We might not see or understand everything as it occurs, and it might be tough to maintain faith not knowing where the new direction is taking us. Think back to past challenges and find the lessons; this way, it might be easier to find them in our current struggles. Stop putting yourself through the gloom and doom mentality, and start empowering yourself with positive thoughts and gratefulness for what you’ve been through, and where you’re going.

10. Stop being ungrateful.

Regardless of how good or bad we have it, we must get up every day grateful for our life. Somebody elsewhere is seriously fighting for theirs. Rather than thinking of what we are missing, think of what we have that everybody else is missing. Stop putting yourself through the anguish of feeling entitled, and start working for what you want, while also expressing gratitude for what you currently have.

New Study Reveals: Happiness Is Contagious, Depression Is Not

Happiness is contagious, but depression is not, says a study. But why is that important?

According to the World Health Organization, more than 350 million people globally suffer from depression.

With these staggering numbers, you would think that depression spreads just by having regular contact with those who suffer from the disorder. However, a groundbreaking study proves that depression does not spread among friends – happiness, on the other hand, does. The study, published in the journal Proceedings of the Royal Society B, analyzed data compiled from over 2,000 teenagers who reported their network of friendships and level of happiness based on questions given to them.

Based on these results, the researchers running the study gave students a “low mood” (depressed) classification or a “healthy mood” (not depressed) label. After obtaining these results, they ran them through a computer program to determine whether depression and/or happiness were contagious or not.

Here are the results of the study:

depression

While happiness can spread like wildfire and even prevent depression, depression itself does not pass from one person to another. The researchers inferred from the computer model that teens with five or more “healthy mood” friends have half the chance of suffering from depression over a six to 12-month period than those without happy friends.

Furthermore, teens with ten or more happy friends have double the probability of returning from depression over that same period.

Professor Frances Griffiths, head of social science and systems in health at Warwick Medical School, University of Warwick, said, “Depression is a major public health concern worldwide. But the good news is we’ve found that a healthy mood amongst friends is linked with a significantly reduced risk of developing and increased chance of recovering from depression.”

A second author of the paper, Dr. Thomas House, senior lecturer in applied mathematics from the University of Manchester, said,

“It could be that having a stronger social network is an effective way to treat depression. More work needs to be done but it may be that we could significantly reduce the burden of depression through cheap, low-risk social interventions.”

This study suggests that having healthy friendships can only help, not hurt, one’s chances of recovering from depression. Furthermore, it proves that the risk of “catching” depression from someone else is virtually nonexistent, eliminating some stigma surrounding depression.

“If we enable friendships to develop among adolescents (for example providing youth clubs) each adolescent is more likely to have enough friends with healthy mood to have a protective effect,” House said in a prepared statement. “This would reduce the prevalence of depression.”

Unfortunately, many people today report feeling lonely and isolated, and one study found that loneliness is a more deadly disease than even obesity. With the rise of social media, more demanding jobs, and hectic home lives, many people simply struggle to find time to socialize or feel too tired or unmotivated after taking care of other needs.

While one might expect only older people to suffer from loneliness, it also affects a surprising number of young people. Having a close circle of friends helps us feel connected, loved, and supported, while not feeling close to anyone feeds symptoms of loneliness and depression.

So, how can you overcome depression and cultivate healthy friendships?

Depression doesn’t just go away overnight; it takes diligence and commitment to improve one’s mental health to leave depression behind. However, you can do a few things to get back on the road toward happiness and start changing your perspective:

1. Start doing activities you enjoy in your area.

Don’t worry about making friends immediately; they will come once you learn to become your best friend and do things that make you feel vibrant and happy. You could look up local groups and activities on Facebook or your Chamber of Commerce website if you need some ideas on what you can do in your area. Friendships thrive on having common interests, so one way to find happy friends is to get involved in things you enjoy, whether yoga, art classes, paddleboarding, sewing, or anything in between.

2. Call up old friends.

If you have been missing old buddies from high school or college, call them to see what they’ve been up to. Maybe a closer friendship could develop if you simply reach out and get the ball rolling. You never know; maybe they, too, feel lonely and could use a friend to confide in and just enjoy life with.

3. Don’t allow yourself to wallow in your depression.

Depression can feel debilitating and suffocating, but you don’t have to live with it. Changing your mindset doesn’t happen overnight, but it helps to challenge any self-defeating, negative thoughts and direct that energy into something more uplifting and useful. Remember, you have control over your mind, so don’t let it get the upper hand. The only limits that exist are the ones you give yourself, so keep in mind that you can decide what kind of life you will live. A happy life begins with a positive mindset, so try living in the moment more instead of believing every thought that enters your brain.

Try volunteering at a local business or organization, and notice how the act of helping others can improve your mindset and take the focus off yourself. Also, go into situations thinking of the best possible thing that could happen instead of the worst-case scenario, and watch how many amazing things unfold as a result. Remember, the mind is the matrix of all matter, so to have a positive reality, you must first build that world within your mind. Your eyes only see what you have told yourself to believe, so you must shift your perspective to experience true happiness.

5 Signs You’re In A Relationship With A Sensitive Male

Today’s males are getting more compassionate and connecting with their sensitive side, and because of this, being in a relationship with a sensitive male is different than one you would have with a “traditional male.”

Sensitivity is an important trait because relationships are complicated, and they could become problematic if one or both partners stop interacting, remain angry, or play the blame game. It can be difficult to be in a loving relationship with a man who is not in touch with their “feminine side”. If they aren’t in touch with their emotions, it’s often hard to tell where they stand and even harder to get a true picture of their feelings.

Nowadays, sensitive men spend much more time with the woman they adore, and it’s acceptable to expect a lot more give and take. In terms of romance and life, the sensitive character traits benefit him and the relationship in many ways.

What traits define a sensitive male?

A sensitive male is truly interested in his partner, asking questions and wanting to learn more about her. He’s a good listener and can understand what his partner feels when she expresses emotions.

sensitive male

The sensitive guy is not afraid to display his love and affection for his partner in a variety of ways and he does so in both big (the special romantic vacation, a great gift from her much-loved store) and small (cooking her dinner whenever she is tired, motivating her to have some social time with other girlfriends).

When there is an argument between a sensitive male and his partner, there isn’t any name-calling or yelling, and they both fight fair. He expresses his emotions and feelings, listens to his partner as she expresses hers, and looks for a solution that reveals a compromise. Certainly, he will get angry at times, but he bounces back and gets over it very quickly.

Here are more signs of sensitive male behavior:

  • A sensitive male cares about other people’s feelings and will feel bad if he hurts someone else’s feelings.
  • Sensitive men will seek help when they need it.
  • He keeps his pride in check and doesn’t feel the need to be the smartest, most attractive, or most fascinating man in the room. He will always fit easily into any situation.
  • He’s a team player in all aspects of his life, including work, romantic relationships, and friendships.
  • In terms of making social plans, a sensitive guy finds a good rhythm between doing what he wants and engaging in what other people want. He seems to be aware of when it’s important to lead and when to follow.

Benefits of loving a sensitive man

Loving a sensitive male can bring several benefits, including:

  1. Emotional intelligence: Sensitive males tend to be more in touch with their emotions and the emotions of others, which can lead to better communication and understanding in the relationship.
  2. Compassion and empathy: Sensitivity often goes hand in hand with empathy and compassion, meaning your partner will be understanding and supportive.
  3. Deep connection: A sensitive partner is often more attuned to the needs of their partner and is able to create a deep and meaningful connection.
  4. Intimacy: Sensitive males may be more open and vulnerable, allowing for a deeper level of intimacy in the relationship.
  5. Caring nature: A sensitive partner is often more caring and attentive, which can bring comfort and security to the relationship.

Here are five signs you’re in a relationship with a sensitive man:

relationship

1. A sensitive male is caring.

What many girls search for in a mate is someone who will be caring and loving to them. A sensitive male will care for your wants and needs, your desires and demands and will make sure that you are happy. Your feelings matter to him. This quality of a sensitive male shows you he will never intentionally hurt you and he can be trusted with your heart.

2. A sensitive man is, first and foremost, a gentleman.

Sensitive males are always gentlemen.  He treats people with respect and has an almost chivalrous way about him.  Whether it’s your friends, family or associates, a sensitive male will be well liked because he is genuine.

3. A sensitive male is a good listener.

Women want someone who will listen to their issues and support them without judging them. If he finds his partner worried, he will work hard to find out how he can help while assuring her it’s safe to confide in him. After listening, he will offer suggestions if it’s appropriate, but he also knows when to be quiet and hug it out. While he wants to solve her problems, he knows that is not always the best course of action.

4. A sensitive man is good husband material.

Sensitive males are good husband material because they value long-term commitments. When they enter into a relationship, they do so with their whole heart. He will be a devoted family man, and his family will always come first. He can help navigate life’s challenges without too much emotional turmoil because he is grounded in who he is and in his relationships.

5. A sensitive male is realistic.

Don’t mistake a sensitive male for an unrealistic one. He can stand his ground when necessary but does so with respect and logic. He might trust his intuition and let it guide him. However, he still has control of his emotions when it matters most. He is anything but a pushover. A sensitive man stands firm in his beliefs because they are his guiding voice.

A sensitive male is an ideal partner because he is sympathetic to other people’s feelings and understands someone else’s emotional needs. He is solid in his beliefs and knows exactly where he stands in life and love.

sensitive male

Final thoughts on your relationship with a sensitive male

It’s important to remember that every person is unique and these traits may vary from person to person. However, a relationship with a sensitive male can be a beautiful thing! They have so much to offer you; you won’t regret giving this new relationship a go.

10 Warning Signs Of A “Frenemy”

What if our friend, somebody we liked and confided in, really didn’t like us so much? A frenemy is somebody who pretends to be a friend but is really a rival.

Of course, we might not know it since they are friendly and attentive whenever we are around, but underneath it all, they have feelings of resentment, bitterness and maybe even hatred.

We all want to be liked, and it is especially difficult to find out that someone you like and trust is secretly talking about you behind your back. The betrayal is one that is felt deep.

Unknowingly, a frenemy could become a relational vampire, depleting energy by triggering emotions, aggressive behavior or undermining what we believe.

So how can you tell the difference between a true friend and a frenemy?

Here are ten warning signs of a frenemy:

frenemy

1. A Frenemy Wants Instant Attention.

Frenemies usually want close relationships and wish to be the bestie almost immediately after you meet. They schedule “dates,” friend and possible even stalk us on Facebook, and begin texting all at the same day. When our “friend” needs us, they will be all over us, but the moment we need something in return, they suddenly disappear. Friends know that building a committed relationship takes time. Frenemies wish to be too close too early.

2. A Frenemy Over-Shares.

Frenemies will tell their life story, with highly personal information, over a first coffee. They offer to do personal tasks immediately, like picking up our kids at school, running errands or offering do something to make your day a bit easier. If it’s too good to be true, it usually is.

In hindsight, we discover there’s an imbalance in such a relationship, and while seemingly doing tasks to help us, our frenemy is probably up to something. They often expect to be repaid, with excitement and with interest.

Friends always keep things about their own life private and enable us to do the same. Frenemies survive on relational entanglement.

3. A Frenemy Intentionally Sabotages.

A frenemy’s aim is never to help one to be more successful than them but to make sure that we fail, or perhaps feel unhappy about the situation. A frenemy often exhibits passive-aggressive behaviors and sometimes they display a clear intent of sabotage.

She will not be happy when everything is going well but would seem nearly gleeful when everything is going terribly. When something great happens like a new career, a raise, a fresh love, the frenemy downplays it or causes it to seem like a fluke.

4. A Frenemy Elicits That Nagging Feeling.

If there is the continual feeling that somebody is not being dependable or has an ulterior motive in seeking our friendship, pay attention – it is probably right. We need to listen to and trust our gut.

frenemy

5. A Fake Friend Frequently Insults Others.

Her social networking updates include veiled insults about us or other friends. A frenemy does not celebrate our wins but will gleefully, albeit secretly, remind us of our failings. She often finds reasons to make fun of us or challenge our competence.

6. A Frenemy Likes to Dig up Dirt.

Frenemies feed upon negative info and usually look to get more. They would like to know why whenever we say we are feeling a little bit down. Was it an argument with one’s spouse? Are we depressed? The next day, they will move further and ask something different. They love to revel in our misery while pretending to be interested in our well-being.

7. A Frenemy Disguises Complaints as Humor.

Frenemies like to put people down, even in front of others. When questioned, they usually claim it was meant to be light-hearted, opening up the door for another slam. This might sound familiar, “I was just kidding. Many people just cannot take a joke.”

Frenemies like sarcasm are masters of the “Who, me?” game.

Friends might take part in good-natured ribbing. However, they respect our feelings. Frenemies utilize humor as a cover-up for dishing out hurtful blows.

8. Fake Friends Make Us Feel as If We Are Wrong.

Frenemies rarely give anyone the benefit of the doubt. Instead of assuming the best of intentions, they take everything personally, even if unrelated, and make us feel we are to blame.

9. Frenemies Overreact When Challenged.

Unreasonable and often over-reactions can occur when we challenge a frenemy about their behavior.  They are surprised and angered by the lack of faith when we question something the frenemy is doing or requesting. They refuse to discuss it and expect our complete and blind agreement with their plans.

friend

10. Fake Friends are Insensitive.

Lastly, they are insensitive. They are quick to offer advice when we are experiencing trying times but can’t see the value in the advice we give them.

A frenemy is usually unaware of their real motive, which might stem from feelings of jealousy, inferiority, or resentment. However, it’s best to discover these harmful relationships and tackle them quickly.

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