Psychologists Explain How to Support a Partner with Anxiety

November 30, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

Dealing with anxiety is always an uphill battle. When you feel anxious, it can overshadow all beautiful things and destroy your mental and physical health. The good thing is we now better understand mental health issues. As a result, people are no longer stigmatized for struggling with mental health issues and can get the help they need.

But one thing that’s still not considered is their partners’ struggles. That’s not to say that it’s harder to have a partner dealing with anxiety than being that person who is struggling. But, still, as a partner of an anxious person, you must learn how to best support them.

Anxious people can have some coping mechanisms that make it hard for people to help them out. But that doesn’t mean they don’t want your help. As their partner, you are probably the person they are closest to. That means you are the person who can help them the most out of all their loved ones. Plus, you spend the most time with them, so you can be there when they need you.

That doesn’t mean you automatically become their caretaker, as that’s not your duty, as anxiety is something that the person affected can manage without having to receive permanent supervision. But you should always be supportive of your partner, no matter their struggles.

How Does Anxiety Manifest?

More and more people are starting to care for their mental health, which means more people are getting the proper diagnosis than ever before. But that doesn’t mean everyone dealing with anxiety knows they have a disorder. And, even if they have the appropriate diagnosis, as their partner, you should still know how anxiety manifests.

Now, when people say anxiety, they usually refer to anxiety disorders. But being anxious isn’t always indicative of a disorder. Anxiety is a natural emotion people feel when they are stressed, scared, or otherwise threatened. In small doses, anxiety can even be a good thing. However, this feeling is, in fact, nothing but the effect of your body entering a state of “fight or flight.”

When you are in a dangerous situation, your body lets you know that you should do something about it using the uncomfortable feeling of anxiety. This process had a survival purpose thousands of years ago when people used to have to keep themselves safe from wild animals and other such dangers. When faced with an imminent threat, the fight-or-flight response is activated, and the body experiences a rush of energy.

Necessary body functions, such as breathing and muscle response, are heightened, while other functions, such as digestion, are temporarily stopped. This is meant to conserve energy while allowing you to be in peak physical shape to face a threat or run away. All these changes are caused by the release of stress hormones, especially cortisol.

Understanding Generalized Anxiety Disorder

Nowadays, people don’t need to run away from wild animals anymore. But that doesn’t mean the fight or flight response has become obsolete. It’s still useful as it equips you to deal with other threats, such as helping you avoid a car accident. Even if you have to take a test, it’s helpful to feel a little anxious, as the cortisol released by your body will help you concentrate.

That being said, it’s not good to feel anxious most of the time. When that happens, people start dealing with anxiety disorders. The most common one is Generalised Anxiety Disorder, which causes people to feel anxious for seemingly no reason. People struggling with this, or any other anxiety disorder, will often worry, overthink, and feel panicked when thinking about the future. And logic doesn’t usually help alleviate these worries.

An anxious person might know all the reasons why nothing bad will happen and still dread having to face the future. As with all mental health issues, people can do nothing to eliminate those thoughts immediately. But there are ways in which they can manage those thoughts to the point where they don’t trigger anxious feelings anymore. So, dealing with mental health issues is about managing and monitoring the disorder.

This is important because, if left unchecked, anxiety will cause both mental and physical symptoms. On the mental side, an anxious person will always worry about something and overthink almost everything. As a result, they might isolate themselves or be irritable. As a result, they often have trouble concentrating and finding the motivation to be productive. On the physical side, an anxious person might struggle with dizziness and heart palpitations or have difficulty breathing.

How to Support a Partner with Anxiety

1. Address Their Symptoms

Anxiety can often be consuming, so many people find it hard to address it directly. Or maybe they don’t know they are dealing with anxiety. Either way, you should be careful how you approach the subject. If they don’t have diagnosed anxiety but display some symptoms, you should talk to them about it.

Try talking to them about their stress levels and if they are struggling with overthinking and feelings of dread. If they do, you can suggest they see a specialist and get a proper diagnosis. You should still be careful about approaching the subject if they already have a diagnosis.

Don’t ask them if they feel anxious, as that might trigger them. Instead, ask them if they are stressed or worrying over certain things. As Jeffrey Borenstein, president, and CEO of the Brain & Behaviour Research Foundation in New York, says, people find it easier to talk about stress than anxiety.

Ask them if they are sleeping well or if they are having trouble concentrating. That way, it will be easier for your partner to open up and talk about what’s bothering them.

2. Don’t Minimize Their Experiences

It will probably make no sense if you look at anxiety logically. It can be hard to understand why your partner is constantly panicking over everything. And most people might be inclined to say that others’ worries are irrational and they should move on. So, you might be inclined to tell them to get over it and that what they’re worrying over isn’t such a big thing.

But that kind of rhetoric will only make them feel worse. You should never minimize someone’s experiences, no matter how irrational they seem. Instead, it would help if you always try to understand where they are coming from. The best thing you can do is listen to them and try to see things from their perspectives. Even if you disagree with their viewpoint, you should still validate it and see how you can help them.

But don’t try to fix everything because that’s not how you help them. Even though you might feel inclined to do so, you need to understand that anxiety is not just something you can fix. Instead, you should see what you can do to help them alleviate their symptoms without making them feel pressured or inadequate.

3. Help Them Seek Treatment

If your partner is dealing with anxiety, it’s always a good idea for them to see a specialist. Even if they don’t have crippling anxiety and don’t need medication, seeing a therapist will only help them. But it might be hard for them to accept that. It can be challenging for someone with anxiety to admit that they need help. As their partner, you need to help them understand that only good things can come from receiving proper treatment.

One thing you can do is go with them to therapy sessions. It can make them feel less weird about talking to someone if you are there with them. Alternatively, you can research anxiety and speak to them about potential treatment routes they want to take. Maybe they are not ready for therapy, but they would be open to participating in stress-relieving activities.

4. Be Compassionate

Struggling with anxiety is a pretty lonely battle. You can do many things as partners to make them feel more comfortable. But, sometimes, all they need is a little love and compassion. Just being there and allowing them to vent or talk about their fears can be more than enough to help them manage their anxiety.

You need to be careful not to stress them out more. If they are constantly stressed and overthinking, they don’t need to have more problems on their mind. You should always make an effort to offer them a safe space. Your home should be a safe space, free of additional troubles.

That doesn’t mean you should never talk to them about your relationship’s issues. For example, if your relationship is going through a rough patch, you should address that. But don’t pick random fights, and don’t get mad at them when they get moody or isolate themselves. Instead, please make an effort to understand that they sometimes need space and always be kind.

Final Thoughts on Some Ways to Support a Partner with Anxiety

Relationships are always complex, and there are many hurdles that a couple will have to overcome. One of these hurdles is learning to deal with an anxious partner. Being with someone struggling with mental health issues isn’t a walk in the park, but you’ll learn how to support them if you genuinely love them.

One of the most important things you need to do is research and understand anxiety. When you read about it, you’ll see how hard it is to live with anxiety. This can help you be more empathetic and compassionate. You will need to learn how to address their symptoms without triggering them. Also, be careful not to minimize their experience, no matter how irrational their symptoms might seem to you.

Always validate their emotions and be compassionate. It’s essential to help them get the treatment they need. That might mean encouraging them or even going to therapy with them. But, above all, remember to love them and be there for them when they need you.

Dad Teaches Positivity by Writing Lunch Notes Every Day

November 30, 2022 by Kristen Lawrence

Teaching children the power of positivity at a young age helps them develop self-esteem and resiliency. Kids benefit by having a solid mental foundation to help them navigate problems at school or with friends. For instance, many children today encounter bullying, difficulties making friends, and struggles with assignments. However, a positive mindset displayed by mom or dad can make all these issues easier to solve.

Chris Yandle, a father of two from Louisiana, saw firsthand the benefits of teaching his children positivity. He began writing uplifting notes to his daughter Addison in 2017. She started middle school that year, an often turbulent time for many teens.

At the beginning of fourth grade in 2021, Yandle’s son Jackson asked his dad if he would also write him notes. Of course, he agreed wholeheartedly. He also found it touching that his son wanted to read his messages.

Addison started her first year of high school this year, and Jackson began fifth grade. Yandle still keeps up the long-standing tradition of including positivity notes in his children’s school lunches. Although the kids have grown up a bit, they never seem tired of reading their dad’s inspiring messages!

How the Positivity Lunch Note Tradition Began

Yandle realized his children needed positivity in their lives more than ever after a difficult move. When he lost his job in 2016 after a successful career in college athletics, the family moved back home to Louisiana. That made their fourth state in only five years, and Yandle started to feel guilty about moving his family around. In hindsight, it didn’t seem worth it since his employer didn’t value him as much as he’d thought.

Addison’s emotional health began to suffer throughout moving and enrolling in new schools. She had attended four schools in three different states in five years.

“At the start of fourth grade, she was starting to exhibit signs of anxiety and I knew I had to do something. So, without thinking, I scribbled a message on a Ziploc bag and placed her sandwich in it for lunch,” the positive parent said.

“I honestly thought it was only going to last a few weeks and I’d forget about. But, she was reading them, her teacher was noticing them, so I knew I needed to continue. Later on in the year, I realized I was writing the messages for me as much as I was writing them for her,” he continued.

Originally, Yandle intended to write the positivity notes for only a few weeks. But, one day quickly turned into a week and then a month. Before long, it had become a tradition that his children intensely looked forward to each day at lunchtime.

The notes especially seemed to benefit Addison, as her dad started noticing her mental health improving. Yandle believes that a more stable home life also contributed to her positive behaviors.

“I know she enjoyed reading them or at the very least knowing that her dad was “back” mentally and emotionally. Over the years, she and I have grown extremely close and I think that’s in large part to what I started five years ago. In junior high, I could tell some of the things I had written her or told her over the years were starting to sink in with how she carried herself and advocated for herself,” the loving dad said.

The Dad Lunch Note Idea Caught on Worldwide

Yandle never thought so many people would be interested in the positive lunch note idea. However, it soon caught people’s attention worldwide when they came across his social media pages.

“I know some teachers in our old school district were doing messages for their students and I had heard of some parents writing notes to their kids. I think what this story has shown has gone far behind our communities here in Louisiana. I’ve heard from people in Canada, South America, all across Europe, India, Australia, Japan, and South Korea. The power of the written word is an international language so many people understand,” he said.

He even wrote a book showcasing his notes to Addison when she attended middle school. He thought it would help parents understand the importance of teaching positive thinking to their children.

“So, my book, “Lucky Enough,” is the first year of notes I wrote Addison during that fourth grade school year. It was a year filled with anxiety, some run-ins with bullying, and just mean girl drama. After recommendations from her principal and her fourth-grade teacher, I decided to put those notes into a book in hopes our story could help other parents. Each page is the note I wrote plus an anecdote behind what I wrote that particular day,” he said.

Yandle said he found inspiration for the book title from the Taylor Swift quote, “If you’re lucky enough to be different, don’t ever change.” He remembered writing a similar message to Addison and believed it helped her develop a healthy self-image.

He’s received ample positive feedback about the book from parents, teachers, and school counselors. Some have begun sharing the notes with their children and students or creating bulletin boards with encouraging messages.

In the future, the loving father hopes to write another book about parenting stories with some of his notes included. We can’t wait to read it!

Final Thoughts on Dad Teaching Positivity With Lunch Notes

Chris Yandle started writing positive lunch notes to his children when they began fourth grade. He intended to write the letters for a few weeks, but something told him to keep going. So far, he’s written 1,102 notes to his children — 900 to Addison and 202 to Jackson.

Yandle still writes them currently and doesn’t plan to stop anytime soon. The positivity notes have had a profound impact on his children and so many others around the world. He’s seen how his words have beautifully shaped Addison over the years. It’s a perfect example of words having the power to heal rather than hurt people.

“I know Addison reads (most of) what I write her. Sometimes, she’ll use my words against me 🙂 As a dad, I think she’s used what I’ve written her to become a confident young woman. I am proud of who’s she’s becoming, and I am excited (and sad) about what high school will hold for her,” he said.

10 Reasons Why Adults Should Still Play

November 30, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

You don’t think anything of it when you see a child play outside. It seems like the most natural and beautiful thing. All adults know that kids should play, but they starve their inner child–they don’t have the same opinion about themselves for some reason. Not only that, but all grown-ups view playing as a waste of time. Why should they play when they have so many other things to get done in a day?

Well, the answer to that question is more intuitive than you might think. Adults should play because they have so much on their plate. One could even argue that they benefit more than kids from being playful. But unfortunately, we live in a society that’s discouraged and looked down on. So, the only time it’s seen as appropriate for adults to play is when they do it with their kids.

Otherwise, even having a dance party with friends is childish and useless. But, as necessary as it is to be serious and work, it’s also vital to relax. And that doesn’t just mean having a spa day or drinking with colleagues after work. Relaxing can also mean running around, dancing, or playing games. And, more often than not, those activities will make you happier than the fanciest spa treatment ever could. If you don’t play during your free time, here are ten reasons that might convince you to start.

10 Reasons Why Adults Should Still Play

1. Play Relieves Stress

One of the issues that adults deal with most often is stress. No matter how hard you try to avoid it, it can come from anywhere. From relationships to work and even hobbies, everything can be stressful. But play can be one of the best ways to alleviate all pent-up stress.

As you probably know, stress can damage your body and mind irreparably. That’s because the hormones released when you are stressed (mainly cortisol) create dangerous imbalances in your body. Of course, stress plays a vital role in small doses. But if you struggle with it often, the repeated release of hormones will cause physical and psychological damage.

For example, stress is linked to a higher risk of cardiac issues. To avoid all these issues, you need to release that stress. When you play, the brain release endorphins, which counteract the effects of cortisol, thus reducing stress levels.

2. It Improves Brain Function

Play isn’t limited to things that people would consider childish. Sure, you can run around and frolic in fields, which has benefits. But you can also engage in games that stimulate the brain. If you think about it, many more games stimulate the brain than you might think.

Playing chess and solving puzzles are just two games that stimulate the brain in that you can engage. Such activities improve your memory and keep your brain sharp. And you don’t even need to be with someone else to play such things. You can always download an app and play it on your phone.

3. Your Inner Child Stimulates the Imagination

Adults don’t have many opportunities to be creative. And their routine is pretty much the same all the time. You go to a stuffy job, get your work done, come back home, eat, watch a movie, and sleep. And the next day, you have to do it all over again. So even if you are lucky and have a nice job, that doesn’t mean your mind is stimulated. Sometimes, even artists or people with creative jobs end up in a rut and feel unimaginative.

Play will always get you out of such ruts. Games allow you to escape reality and find a world where being creative is not something to be afraid of. Being playful will enable you to dream and use your imagination. After all, if you didn’t use your imagination, you’d never be able to mime or draw when playing board games.

4. Play Boosts Your Energy

Indeed, you’ve seen how kids can play for hours and still seem full of energy. And that’s probably something that has always confused you. After all, how can someone run around for hours and seem like they’ll never stop? Well, this energy doesn’t come from the physical side of things. Kids are often physically exhausted when they play. But they draw all their energy from the mental side.

Being playful can improve your energy levels by putting you in a better mood. So, the effects can be seen right away. From the first time you play, you’ll feel the positive effects. And the best part is these effects last all day. Unlike caffeine, which improves energy levels for a couple of hours, after which you’ll feel exhausted, playing is a sustainable way to boost your energy.

5. It’s a Fun Way to Work Out

As you probably know, exercising is vital for a healthy life. But that doesn’t mean it’s always fun, which is why most people avoid doing it. Plus, a gym membership can be expensive, and going to the gym is always intimidating, so finding alternative ways to exercise is good.

Playing can do the job if you lack the motivation to work out. Dancing around the house or running can also burn calories while tapping into your playful side. This way, exercise will no longer feel like a chore. Instead, you’ll have fun while enjoying the benefit of moving around and burning calories. This will improve your mood, metabolism, and other aspects of your health.

6. It Helps You Sleep

You might not believe it, but play is associated with better sleep. These two issues seem unrelated, but it makes sense why one would influence the other. As you know, the body needs to sleep to reset and prepare for the next day. If that didn’t happen, your body would have to use up all resources until there were none left. Still, even though sleep is a vital function, many people struggle with it. And that’s because of the lifestyle they have.

The brain is a key factor in the sleep process. It’s the one who has to signal your body that it’s tired and needs rest. But, in this day and age, people are more and more sedentary. Because of that, at the end of the day, you are probably mentally drained, but not physically. Play can help you use that excess energy, which means the brain can signal the body that it’s tired and it needs to sleep. So, if you want a good rest, always make sure you play before going to bed.

7. It Improves Concentration

Many people have trouble concentrating, mainly because they force themselves to do a tedious task without taking any breaks or doing something fun before. If you wake up and start working immediately, you’ll unlikely be productive. Your mind will wander, and you’ll want to do anything but the task. Explore luotettavat suomalaiset nettikasinot for an authentic Finnish gaming experience.

Taking time to play before starting a tedious task will always be helpful. Not only will you be in a good mood, but your body will be filled with energy. By doing something fun before working, you’ll keep your mind from drifting. You won’t have to drool over doing something fun because you’d have done it already. Plus, the more relaxed you feel, the easier it’ll be to concentrate.

8. Your Inner Child Helps You Discover New Hobbies

What might seem like a game to some can be a real hobby or even a full-blown career for others. Take chess, for example. Most people look at it as a simple game. But that didn’t stop others from working every day and making a career. The same goes for sports, arts, and many other things. Until you try something out, you don’t know if it’ll become a hobby or not.

When you play, you allow yourself to discover things you’d have never tried otherwise. And there’s no pressure to be good at the game. If it’s not for you, you can move on. But at least you know you gave it a shot.

9. It’s a Way to Bond with Others

There are only so many things people can bond over when having coffee together. Sometimes, being playful is the best way to create meaningful connections and bond with new people.

When adults play, the activity has a sense of freedom and innocence. No one feels judged or forced to act in ways that are not true to themselves. It’s the best way to let go and just be yourself. Plus, it gives you a reason to hang out and an activity to do together so that you don’t just sit in silence.

10. It Makes Your Inner Child Happy

No matter how old you are, a part of your subconscious mind is still a child. This part deals with good experiences as well as memories from your childhood. And that accounts for everything, from fears to traumas.

This part is complex but holds onto every child’s simple desires. In simpler terms, your inner child wants to play. And, when your inner child is happy, your subconscious mind is better equipped to handle all that baggage from your childhood that most adults never sort through.

Final Thoughts on Some Reasons Why Adults Should Still Play

As an adult, it might seem weird to play. But that’s just because society has constructed this idea that play is only fit for kids and no one else. You’ll find evidence that proves otherwise if you read into the topic. And the things described above are just ten of the dozens of benefits that playing brings into your life.

Play improves your mood and is one of the best ways to relax. But it also has numerous physical benefits, as play can often be a more fun way to work out. In addition, playing stimulates your imagination and creativity, and you might even find a new hobby when rifling through games. Most importantly, play is something that comes naturally to all humans. Adults might be older and wiser than kids, but even they have an inner child who only wants to take a break and play sometimes.

5 Causes of Brain Inflammation (And How to Avoid It)

November 29, 2022 by Kristen Lawrence

Brain inflammation, otherwise known as neuroinflammation, can occur for numerous reasons. Just as our bodies can become inflamed, so can our minds since they’re intricately connected. You may experience brain fog, difficulty thinking, cognition challenges, and fatigue symptoms if you have brain inflammation.

Scientists believe an inflamed brain could contribute to mental and neurodegenerative illnesses like depression and Alzheimer’s. Our brains have their own immune system, so various conditions can occur when the cells become damaged. Many scientists now believe that malfunctioning immune cells in the brain, rather than neurons, cause cognitive decline.

Brain inflammation may also occur because of swelling or infections in the body. When part of the body becomes inflamed, it triggers a release of immune cells called cytokines that activate brain inflammation. As you can see, the mind-body connection means that any inflammation affects our entire system rather than just an isolated area.

Scientists have found that microglia cells, the brain’s immune cells, are the main culprit behind inflammation. These cells promote mental clarity and healthy communication between neurons in a healthy brain.

They help clear toxins from the brain, such as beta-amyloid plaque and dead neurons, that inhibit cognitive function. Finally, they facilitate neuronal metabolic changes that are critical for brain plasticity.

However, when microglia cells malfunction, they attack even healthy brain cells. Typically, these inflammatory cells become activated in response to an immediate threat, such as bacteria or injury. When the microglia cells go into “attack” mode for extended periods, it’s known as chronic neuroinflammation.

This reaction causes neurons to fire more slowly, leading to brain fog, cognitive decline, and perhaps depression or dementia. But what causes the microglia cells to trigger brain inflammation in the first place? We’ll delve deeper into this topic below and list a few ways to reverse neuroinflammation.

5 Causes of Brain Inflammation (And Ways to Heal It)

1. An Unhealthy Diet May Cause Cognition Problems

The food you consume can promote healing or disease within the mind and body. Unfortunately, most modern foods negatively impact our health and the planet. For most of our existence, we ate simple foods from nature that our bodies knew how to assimilate into energy. Our foods have become calorically dense but void of most nutritional value.

Processed foods have high sugar and omega-6 fatty acid content, which promote disease when consumed in large quantities. Since our bodies see these foods as a threat, they increase inflammation in response. As we eat more food-like substances instead of whole foods, our minds and bodies deteriorate further.

However, an anti-inflammatory diet, such as the Mediterranean diet, can promote healing and well-being. If you want better brain health, try incorporating more fresh, whole foods into your diet. Omega-3 fatty acids found in salmon can improve brain functioning and cognition. Fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds, and grains will also provide essential nutrients for the mind and body.

2. Poor Metabolic Health Can Cause Brain Inflammation

Metabolic health refers to having ideal levels of five markers: blood pressure, triglycerides, HDL cholesterol, waist circumference, and blood sugar. Unfortunately, one study found that just twelve percent of Americans meet the criteria for optimal metabolic health. And scientists know that poor overall health can lead to brain inflammation and chronic diseases if left unchecked. When chronic inflammation occurs, it inhibits the body’s ability to metabolize food properly. In turn, this causes the immune system to overreact and trigger inflammation.

Exercise regularly, eat a healthy diet, and practice stress-management techniques like meditation to enhance your metabolic health. Also, avoid eating highly processed foods like sweets, chips, and other boxed snacks. In addition, aim for seven to eight hours of sleep per night and limit electronic use to improve your well-being.

3. Exposure to Environmental Toxins and Substance Abuse Can Cause Cognition

Research shows that exposure to environmental pollutants and cigarette smoke can lead to brain inflammation. Both toxins trigger the release of proinflammatory cytokines, which damage healthy cells in the brain. Also, research shows that excessive alcohol consumption can cause the immune system to release these inflammatory proteins. Finally, other drugs like cocaine and methamphetamine can lead to neuroinflammation by increasing oxidative stress.

To protect your cognitive health, avoid smoking and taking hard drugs. If you live in a congested city, install a HEPA filter in your home to remove environmental toxins. Also, limit your alcohol consumption to a few drinks per week.

4. Excess Visceral Fat Can Create Brain Inflammation

The Washington University School of Medicine found that excess abdominal fat — also known as visceral fat — leads to systemic inflammation. Their study published in Diabetes also discovered that fat surrounding the internal organs can cause insulin resistance and other metabolic diseases. Visceral fat also sends inflammatory signals to the brain, resulting in cognitive decline.

If you want to reverse brain inflammation, it’s essential to reduce weight around the midsection. The best weight loss strategy involves exercise, a healthy diet, and stress management. Try to engage in physical activity at least thirty minutes daily, three times a week. Also, it helps to keep track of your calories, so you don’t consume more than you burn daily.

5. Chronic Stress Can Decrease Cognition

Arguably, chronic stress impacts overall health more than any other factor. Stress shows up in our minds and bodies as mental illnesses, fatigue, Diabetes, and many other diseases. Studies show that chronic stress negatively impacts neurotransmitter metabolism and can cause emotional dysregulation. Our immune systems can only handle so much stress before they start to turn against us.

However, we can reduce chronic stress in many ways, such as by exercising, eating nutrient-dense foods, and practicing mindfulness. Meditation, yoga, deep breathing exercises, aromatherapy, and other holistic methods can all significantly lower stress levels. As a result, we can lower our brain inflammation and experience more stable emotions.

Final Thoughts on Causes and Solutions for Brain Inflammation

In our modern world, we have many stressors despite all our conveniences. This stress can take a heavy toll on our minds and bodies, sometimes leading to chronic illnesses. However, we don’t have to accept brain inflammation and poor health as inevitable outcomes of life. We can take control of our health and improve cognition by getting back to the basics: exercising, eating a balanced diet, and managing stress. Healing ourselves takes conscious effort, but feeling vibrant and healthy is worth it.

7 Ways to Be a Confident Parent

November 29, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

Becoming a confident parent is one of the hardest things anyone has to achieve, but it’s also one of the most rewarding. This is because no matter how many books you read and how much stuff you buy, nothing can prepare you for the confidence you need when your baby arrives. If you aren’t scared out of your mind at the thought of caring for another human, then you probably haven’t thought about it or don’t feel it (yet!). You shouldn’t try to hide the feelings you have.

It’s hard to be a confident parent, and no one feels confident when they first learn they’re expecting a child. Being scared at the thought of becoming a parent is completely normal. And you shouldn’t be ashamed that you are scared. The problems most soon-to-be parents face are not necessarily the fact that this fear makes them feel inadequate.

They start to question themselves and beat themselves up over every minor imperfection. They overthink and let every small insecurity overshadow all the skills they have and all they’ve ever learned. Being a parent is intuitive and natural. But most people don’t lean into their innate skills because they are scared their intuition will lead them astray.

Not to mention that many parents lose their confidence in time. For example, many people think they won’t be able to raise their teenage kids properly. So, when their kids reach the age when they become rebellious, many parents lose confidence in their abilities to parent. So, if you’re expecting or just going through a time when you aren’t feeling confident as a parent, here are some ways to change that.

7 Ways to Be a Confident Parent

1. Read Some Parenting Books to Gain Confidence

If you’re about to become a parent, you probably feel lost about what you should do to prepare. Every new parent has been there at some point in their life. If you are lucky, you have someone who can guide you. But sometimes, that’s not the case. An excellent first step is reading a few parenting books to start.

Many parents seem to think reading parenting books is just a way to admit their unpreparedness. But just like you would study for an exam by reading some books, you can prepare yourself for the challenges of parenthood in the same way.

And there’s no shame in researching the topic. Those books aren’t always accurate, but they will help you be more confident. Armed with this knowledge, you’ll at least have an idea as to how you should handle certain obstacles.

2. Take a Parenting Class

This advice is more or less based on the same advantages as the previous point. When you take a class, you are taught things you couldn’t have known otherwise. For example, in a parenting class, you could learn how to put on a diaper or mix baby formula correctly.

And the best thing is professionals teach these classes. So, there’s no way they’ll tell you something wrong. But the real advantage of these classes is that you can join a community of parents just as lost as you are. Seeing that no one is perfect from the beginning can boost you to become more confident.

Plus, you can create true friendships with the people you meet during these classes. And these relationships will come in handy later, especially when your kids are born and you want to socialize them. You can always call one of your friends from a parenting class and set up a play date.

3. Listen to Your Child to Be More Confident

The first two pieces of advice were strictly related to what you can do before your kids are born. But your need to learn doesn’t stop when your kid is born. You continuously need to adjust and improve your parenting skills. And one way to do that is by listening to your kids. Contrary to popular belief, the parent doesn’t need to be a dictator.

Sure, you’ll need to learn how to be firm and flexible. But, as a golden rule, you should always listen to your kids. They usually know how they feel better than you do. So if you want to gain confidence as a parent, there’s nothing better than getting validation from your child.

Often, parents force themselves to know how to juggle everything. They usually take it upon themselves to make every decision. And that means they always have to take the blame for everything that goes wrong. All this pressure can be way too much for any couple to handle. So, to be more confident in your parenting abilities, you need to start listening to your children.

4. Be Compassionate

This is advice that applies both to how you treat yourself and how you treat your kids. First, you need to understand that, as a parent, you’ll make mistakes. And you need to understand it’s normal and shouldn’t make you lose confidence in your parenting abilities. You need to be nice to yourself and acknowledge your self-worth.

No matter what you do, you’ll figure things out if your intentions are good, and you’ll be able to overcome any obstacles. But it’s just as important, if not more, to be compassionate towards your kids. After all, they will make mistakes regardless of whether they are babies or teenagers. And you need to be understanding and let them make mistakes without shaming them for it.

Allow them to learn and express themselves without being judgmental. When you do that, you can have a better relationship with your kids, making you more confident.

5. Spend Quality Time with Your Kids to Build Confidence

Most parents aren’t confident in their parenting abilities because they don’t get the feedback they need from their kids. That’s because kids usually aren’t used to being close to their parents. This often stems from the fact that many families don’t spend time bonding. And even if they do, they usually do things the parents want, which is why many kids dread spending time with their families. No teenager wants to be stuck in a car with their parents for hours.

As a parent, you must do what your kids want. It’s crucial to start bonding with your kids as soon as they’re born. You have to play with them and try to be friends with them. And, as they grow, you have to adjust and be supportive. So be it if that means going to rock concerts with them.

6. Celebrate Your Achievements as a More Confident Parent

Parents are so focused on taking care of their kids that they forget they must also care for themselves. To practice self-confidence, you need to celebrate your achievements and practice self-care. If you aren’t confident and don’t feel good about yourself, you’ll never be able to give your all when caring for your children. Plus, with self-care comes a newfound strength.

The better you feel, the more energy you’ll have, which means you’ll be able to do whatever needs to get done to ensure your kids get the best life. That means that you need to take some time to relax and unwind. And needing that time alone is nothing to be ashamed of. You are not a bad parent if you take a few hours off.

The opposite is true. When you take the time to care for yourself, you recharge to be the best parent when your kid needs you. And in the meantime, your partner or a nanny can look after the kids.

7. Ask for Help When You Need to Feel More Confident

Ideally, all couples would stay together and raise their kids in a nuclear family. But divorce rates are high, and parents often have to raise their kids alone. Having to deal with such responsibility alone would make anyone less confident. If you can, it would be ideal to try and stay with your partner so that you can raise your kids together. This is if you aren’t in an abusive relationship.

But whatever your marital status might be, you should never be afraid to ask for help raising your kids. One of the best things you can do is ask your parents to help. After all, they have a lot of experience and love the kids, so their advice will always come from the heart. Besides asking for advice, you can get them to help in other ways.

They can look after the kids, take them out to the park when they are small, and help them with their homework when they are older. But, of course, if they can’t lend a hand, you can always ask your friends to chip in. After all, confident parent understands that they can’t do everything alone and that it’s no shame to ask for help.

Final Thoughts on Some Ways to Be a Confident Parent

Being a parent is hard work, whether preparing to become one or adjusting to your kid growing up. At any stage, being confident will take a lot of hard work, as the risk of messing up is always high. But what more parents should know is that making mistakes is normal. Just because you are in charge of caring for a tiny human doesn’t mean you suddenly become all-knowing.

No adult holds the secret to parenthood. But there are ways in which you can boost your self-confidence. Before the baby is born, reading parenting books or taking some classes always helps. Knowledge is something that will always make you feel more confident. After the kids are born, that’s when things become trickier.

At that point, you’ll need to learn to adapt to your kids’ needs and listen to their feedback. Plus, you need to take the time to hang out with them and create a bond. But you should also care for yourself to be in your best shape. And always remember that it’s okay to ask for help.

4 Signs of a Wounded Inner Child

November 29, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

One of the first things you need to be aware of is that the concept of a wounded inner child is a psychological term. Having unresolved childhood trauma is such a big issue, and so many people struggle with it that it got its name. And, worse, most people who deal with this issue don’t even realize what they’re struggling with. But, if you’ve ever felt lost, hopeless, or completely alone, you might struggle with something deeper than you know.

A wounded inner child is one of the most overlooked mental health issues. Not many people even know it’s a thing. They don’t realize just how much your past can affect your future. And this is mainly because of the older generation, who thinks that sweeping all issues under the rug is the way to solve things. And that’s exactly what they taught their children.

They should pretend everything is alright and all their issues are just a figment of their imagination. If you lived through childhood trauma, you likely forgot about it as a defense mechanism. Many people who have been hurt in the past either don’t realize it or downplay the significance of the damage. A kid can’t solve their mental health issues as they happen.

So, it’s not abnormal to have some unresolved issues. The problem appears when those issues remain unresolved through adulthood. That’s when feelings of emptiness and lack of direction can take over your life. To avoid the consequences of glossing over your past trauma, you must understand why your inner child is wounded.

What Events Lead to Having a Wounded Inner Child?

Before getting into how a wounded inner child manifests in your adult life, you must understand where it comes from. Not all traumatic events you experience in your childhood will leave a strong mark. Some will be easy to deal with and help shape you rather than suck your life out. But some events are bound to leave a mark.

The main thing that leads to a wounded inner child is having an unsafe environment in your formative years. It’s the responsibility of parents and guardians to make kids feel safe. Unfortunately, they are often the ones who abuse children and don’t give them a good home. This abuse can come in many forms. Unfortunately, there isn’t a template of how this abuse should look to be considered a serious trauma that leads to a wounded inner child. Everyone experiences trauma differently, which is why all events can leave a serious mark.

Physical abuse is one of the most awful things a parent could ever do to their child. But, unfortunately, it happens more often than society would like to admit. And it’s a traumatic event that will always make the victim feel unsafe. When a child is always scared that they will be hurt, that creates serious wounds that need a lot of care to heal. Such parents make kids scared to even step into their own homes and be around the people who are supposed to protect them.

Emotional and Psychological Abuse Causes Trauma

But this kind of abuse isn’t the only kind that leaves a mark. Emotional and psychological abuse can be just as damaging. And, the worst part is, it happens at a much larger scale. That’s because parents don’t always realize that they are being abusive. For example, forbidding your child from doing art, and forcing them to pursue science, is a form of abuse. But it always gets brushed off as taking care of the kid’s future.

And this is a less extreme example. If a parent constantly insults and yells at their kid, that’s also abusive behavior. But being in a toxic environment can also mean that the parents don’t give the kids the material comfort they need. And this is not about low-income families. If the parents can’t offer the kids the best material things, that are not their fault, nor is it abuse.

But intentionally making a kid uncomfortable is abuse and makes kids feel unsafe. For example, punishing kids by threatening to punish them by not giving them dinner is abuse. And so is not giving your kid a proper bed to sleep in or not buying them new clothes when they need them. So even though many examples of making kids feel unsafe, it’s not the complete list. Depending on the child, many things could be traumatic to them.

Sure, the ones discussed previously will likely leave scars. But trauma is a subjective topic. You can’t tell someone what should or shouldn’t mark them. Because of that, there’s a high risk that people still carry unresolved childhood trauma. And that often leads to a wounded inner child.

4 Signs of a Wounded Inner Child

Do these sound familiar to you?

1. You Feel Like There’s Something Wrong With You

Someone’s inner child is the part of their subconscious that still retains its innocence and unbounded hope. In theory, that part should always feel safe in the world, or at least it should make you feel like you fit in. But someone whose inner child is wounded will always feel like there’s something wrong with them.

You might also struggle with feelings of loneliness. If you still carry childhood trauma, you’ll likely feel broken. You’ll tend to believe that everyone is silently judging you at all times. That’s likely because you are used to being neglected or pushed aside by the people who raised you.

Or you might still carry around the idea that you’re unfit to be in any social circle. But, again, that is an idea that your toxic guardians have likely instilled in you. If you feel this way, you need to work on self-compassion and strive to understand that there’s nothing wrong with you.

2. You Struggle With Anxiety

While it’s true that many other issues can cause anxiety, it’s almost often associated with a wounded inner child. But, what’s specific about it, is that this anxiety gets out of control when you consider doing something new. If you struggle with childhood trauma, you only want a safe space. You need routines to make you feel comfortable and stable.

And, when anything challenges that routine, you’re likely to freak out. That’s because you feel like all your security could be lost if you try something new. Your anxiety goes through the roof when your context forces you to make some changes. Even something that should be good, such as a promotion, will stress the life out of you.

Because of that, you might find that you cling on to your routine with all your might. If that’s the case, your best solution is to try something new as often as possible. It doesn’t have to be something big. Even something like trying a new recipe can help soothe your anxiety.

3. You’re a People Pleaser

People whose inner child is hurt are the ones who feel like they are a disappointment. They feel like all the horrible things that happened to them as kids were because they weren’t good enough. Usually, all these kids wanted to do was to make their parents proud. And, if they didn’t receive any praise, that’s a trauma they will likely carry into adulthood.

Because of that, many people become people-pleasers as a coping mechanism. People become people-pleasers because they feel their worth comes from how much they can help others. They think that if they say no to someone or don’t offer their help, that somehow makes them bad people. If you are a people pleaser, you likely have trouble making yourself happy.

Instead, you rely on others to make you feel worthy and content. If this seems like you, that’s a sign you need to learn to make yourself happy. Healing from this means being independent and understanding that your worth is not tied to how helpful you are to others. Instead, what you need to focus on is making yourself happy.

4. You Are Overly Critical of Yourself

If your inner child is hurt, that will likely manifest in an inability to appreciate yourself. If you haven’t addressed childhood trauma, you’ll probably be overly critical of yourself. Sure, most people criticize themselves to a certain extent. But that is usually because they want to improve themselves.

But hurt people don’t constructively criticize themselves. They just don’t have a good opinion of themselves, which leads to them scrutinizing everything they do. They feel like they’ll never be good enough, no matter how hard they try. Of course, this crushes their spirit and makes them feel hopeless. Because of the hit their mental health takes, they are likely to underperform.

So, they’ll be even harder on themselves. This creates a vicious circle that does nothing but slowly crush one’s spirit. If you think you might be doing this, you need to learn to forgive yourself. Healing can only come from understanding that you are only human and you are allowed to make mistakes.

Final Thoughts on Signs of a Wounded Inner Child

Everyone has a part of their subconscious that houses their inner child. That part is supposed to be innocent, creative, and hopeful. But, for many people, unresolved childhood trauma hurts their inner child. Instead of being in awe of the world, they become hopeless and empty.

These wounds stem from traumatic events, especially when a child feels unsafe. If you’re unsure if your inner child is wounded, there are some signs you can look out for. For example, you might feel like there’s something wrong with you or you don’t fit in. You probably struggle with anxiety and are a bit of a people pleaser.

Lastly, you are likely to be overly critical of yourself. All these signs point to a bigger issue you need to resolve. So, if you are going through this, ensure you get the help you need. Unless you address your childhood trauma, these issues will persist.

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