10 Ways to Deal With Irrational People

June 20, 2015 by Power of Positivity

It’s hard to believe there is someone out there that hasn’t dealt with an irrational person and even been irrational themselves. When we are irrational, there are usually other things in play behind the scenes. Irrational behavior happens when we’ve reached the tipping point, and we have to just let it out.

Even though we all experience our version of irrational behavior from time to time and it is understandable, it doesn’t make it easy to deal with someone who is acting irrationally. We might get it, but we don’t have to like it.

Here are 10 ways to deal with irrational people:

1. Listen and Let Them Vent

The best way to diffuse irrational thinking and behavior is to listen as they vent. Sometimes just listening is the hardest part because our natural tendency is to point out the irrational thinking. Doing so will only to increase the emotions of the situation, so it’s important to bite our tongue and listen earnestly. Sometimes, just knowing they are being heard is all that is needed.

2. Make a Personal Connection

An “us” versus “you” mentality will only encourage the person to dig in their heels and stand firm. Try making a personal connection by using their name and making them feel like an individual. Making someone feel special and giving them a platform where they feel respected is an important step in lessening the tension.

3. Summarize What You Heard

When dealing with irrational people, it is really important to them that their message, complaint or opinion is understood. Start by summarizing what you heard to make sure you both are on the same page. This is a great starting point to begin the next steps in solving the situation.

4. Stay Calm

It is very easy to get caught up in the emotions of a situation. Don’t do it. Focus on staying calm and take the time you need to respond in a thoughtful and respectful manner. When you respond with anger, often more irrational behavior will ensue, completely blowing things out of proportion. Calmly hear them out and then help them to calm down too.

5. Pay Attention to Your Word Choice

When trying to talk with someone who is in a heightened emotional state, the words we choose to use can be the difference between handling the situation and escalating it. Choose positive words like, “I will remember” instead of “I won’t forget.” Another tip is to try and make sure to avoid using “you” except when talking about what you are hearing from them. For instance, “what I hear you saying is …” comes across as respectful. On the other hand, “you said …,” can come across as a bit accusatory even though it isn’t meant to be.

6. Be Empathetic in Coping With Irrational People

Remember there is usually more to the story. They may have just received some bad news or maybe they are in the midst of a huge life-changing event. Regardless, be empathetic and put yourself in their shoes. Try to understand what is the key issue and just be there to help them work through it. Knowing someone is on their side is needed to help them relax and come back to a place of calm.

7. Ask Questions

Asking questions shows interest in their dilemma. It shows care, respect, and interest in what they are going through. Gathering information by asking questions serves a dual purpose. First, it allows you to get a true assessment of the situation and secondly it gives you some time to determine the best course of action in a positive way and not in a reactionary one.

8. Detach Yourself From The Situation

During any irrational situation, it’s necessary to remember that irrational thoughts and actions are about them, not about us. When we begin to internalize what is being said, is when things get blown out of proportion. We should strive to be supportive and engaged without making it about us.

9. Be Prepared to Compromise

“A compromise is the art of dividing a cake in such a way that everyone believes he has the biggest piece.” – Ludwig Erhard

It is often the art of the compromise that soothes a tense situation. We should start any compromise knowing our bottom line and theirs. Then it’s up to us to somehow find a way to meet somewhere in the middle. We will know more about what sort of compromise might work if we have taken the time to listen and ask questions.

10. And Finally, Recognize Sometimes There is No Winning With Irrational People

It is important to know that there are some irrational behaviors and requests that may not have a resolution. Do what you can but it’s important not to compromise your principles or values to accommodate someone else’s irrational thinking. At some point, you may have to agree to disagree and be prepared to walk away.

On the surface dealing with irrational behavior can seem a daunting task but with a few important steps, it can become quite manageable. And when it becomes apparent that there is no solution to the situation, we should be prepared to walk respectfully away.

10 Signs You’re an “Indigo Child”

June 19, 2015 by Power of Positivity

The idea of indigo children has often been dismissed as a pseudoscientific, incredulous notion, but many of us on Earth right now just feel “different” in some way we can’t usually explain. Anderson Cooper from CNN even did a special report on indigo children, and a documentary partially produced by Doreen Virtue called “The Indigo Evolution” was released in more than 350 churches and wellness centers in 2006.

More and more people have been awakening to their true nature and realizing that they have incarnated on this Earth during these transitional times in order to offer their gifts to the world and leave it a better place.

In the documentary, Hopi Elders revealed that we can still reverse the damage we have done to the planet. And, we can still create a new world founded on love and peace. However, that can only occur if we all realize our Oneness. Then, they continued on to say that the indigo children will play a critical role in the Earth’s healing.

So, how do you know if you are an indigo child? These 10 signs will give you the answer:

1. You were born in the year 1978 or later, but possess wisdom beyond your years.

You are aware of the true nature of the world that lies in secrecy behind this current paradigm of monetary gain, greed, power, machinery, war, poverty, etc. Because you understand that this world offers so much more than we have been led to believe, you often feel that you have incarnated here many times before, aka an “old soul.”

2. You are strong-willed, independent, and don’t respond to authority.

You like to think for yourself, come up with your own answers, and live life by your own set of rules. Because of your inherent need to follow your own path and reject conventional teachings, you have been deemed a “troublemaker” or “problem child” in the past.

3. You are diagnosed with ADD or ADHD due to social or attention problems.

In school, constantly disobeying authority figures, non-conformance to social conditioning, and extreme boredom or aloofness to the subjects taught in institutionalized schools. People often misunderstand you and wonder why you can’t just follow the program and do as you’re told. However, you see many things horribly wrong with today’s society, and would never dream of fitting into a world so blind to the truth.

4. You are extremely creative and eccentric

You love to draw, write, paint, dance, or express yourself somehow through the arts. Furthermore, you felt stifled in school. Indeed, you wished that you could just spend time following your passions instead of listening to boring lectures.

5. You feel socially isolated and may not have very many close friendships.

You feel that you just can’t relate very well to others because of their inability to see beyond the veil. Therefore, you would rather spend your time alone bonding with nature or working on your creative and intuitive gifts. You know that people who came to change the world must walk a difficult path, but it will be well worth it in the end.

6. You have a high IQ and a keen intuition.

You often experience sensory overload in bright, noisy environments, and crave total peace and quiet in nature when you find yourself in these situations. You’ve likely been drawn to the term “empath” because of your unique psychic abilities and problems functioning in very crowded, loud, and chaotic environments. You may have been diagnosed with anxiety or depression because of this.

7. You reject social norms and long for people to see the truth.

You have no patience with the scripted life of buying, selling, going to school, getting a job, and just becoming a number in a computer. Additionally, you could care less about the status quo. Besides, you often blaze your own trails in life despite popular opinion. You know that just because everyone does something, doesn’t make it right.

8. Many people have misunderstood you.

Perhaps others called you entitled, selfish, or unruly in the past. Your parents or teachers just didn’t understand that your spiritual and emotional needs weren’t being met. You go within and enjoy solitude much of the time due to feeling misunderstood. You have a high sense of self-worth and know that your personal needs matter more than satisfying authority figures who don’t take the time to understand you.

9. You bond well with other animals and feel immense compassion for all creatures.

Because you have realized that all life on this planet is sacred, you chose the vegan/vegetarian lifestyle at an early age.

10. Above all, you just have an intense longing to make this world a better place.

You have an unstoppable determination to bring about lasting changes despite all the challenges you face. You want to create a world where all life can thrive. And, you won’t listen to anyone who tries to stop you from your grand mission of healing this Earth.

Don’t ever feel alone on your spiritual path; many of us have identified as indigo children, and we all have an unbreakable connection to one another. Remember this any time you feel lonely or confused because all of our collective efforts matter in the end. Any act of kindness or friendship you offer to others will always lift the vibration of this planet, and if you can make one person smile or feel loved, you have done your part.

Watch the Documentary, “The Indigo Evolution” here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxvriVUk_5A

11 Signs of A True Friendship

June 17, 2015 by Power of Positivity

With the days of having hundreds of Facebook “friends” upon us, real friendships built on respect, a common bond, and shared memories seem to be few and far between in the modern world. We can instantly connect with anyone online, but does that make them a tried and true friend?

On the other hand, the friends you thought you could count on in real life can turn out to be just as distant, flaky, and unreliable as people you’ve connected within the cyber world. Studies show that even if people have thousands of Facebook friends, they usually only maintain close relationships with a few people in real life.

So, how can you ensure that these friendships you have invested so much in emotionally are authentic?

Here are 11 telltale signs of your true friendships:

1. They accept everything about you, including your flaws.

They don’t want to change you. In fact, true friendships mean they embrace everything about you, from your quirks and flaws to your best personality traits. That doesn’t mean they must like or agree with everything you say and do mainly, but they don’t bash you or try to alter your personality. You feel like you can breathe a big sigh of relief around them. That’s because in a sea of billions of people, you’ve found one who sees the positive things about you even when you don’t see them yourself.

2. They stick with you through both the good and bad times.

This one probably best distinguishes a fake friend from a real one; in hard times, a true friend would never dream of leaving you in the shadows alone. Instead, they offer to help you however they can and bring you back into the light again. Fake friends often bail on you because they only wanted to stick around when things went well for you, and felt like helping you through your problems was a burden for them.

3. They are happy about your successes and congratulate you when you reach a new goal.

Fake friends feel jealous and contemptuous when you achieve something exciting, but true friends will celebrate your accomplishments with you. To know if you’re dealing with an authentic friendship or not, notice who sticks around when you reach new heights in your life. Some people will try to tear you down, but the real friends in your life will feel happy for you.

4. You feel totally comfortable around them, and they probably know things about you that many others don’t.

They know your best-kept secrets, wildest dreams, and the unique quirks you only share with people you feel most comfortable around. Plus, they know all the details about your love life, your most cherished childhood memories, and all those embarrassing stories that you wouldn’t share with just anyone. They want to know you to your core, not just on the surface. This separates a true friend from a fake one in many ways.

5. True friendships meet you halfway – they don’t expect you always to be the one to reach out to them.

You don’t have to call or text whenever you want to meet. They also show interest in hanging out with you and will contact you often to catch up. You don’t feel like you must chase them to keep them in your life – they put equal effort into your friendship, and make time to see you. They don’t only talk to you when it’s convenient; they reach out to you because they genuinely care about you as a friend and want you in their life.

6. They make you feel happier and more alive, not drained and stressed.

After seeing them, you feel more rejuvenated, vibrant, and excited about life, not the opposite. Authentic friendships will be a perfect energetic match between two people; otherwise, one person will be giving the other one energy, which means that you have an energy vampire on your hands. To know if you have a true friendship with someone, pay attention to how you feel after meeting up with them. A real friend will make you feel good about yourself and life, not depressed and uninspired.

7. They tell you the truth about things, even if you may not want to hear it.

Authentic friends tell you what you want to hear; they never sugarcoat anything just to appease you. They tell you the truth, even if it may hurt. And, you’ve learned to appreciate this, because not many other people in your life will cut to the chase and tell it like it is. They tell you the truth not to cut you down, but to help you make the right choices and become a better person.

8. They forgive you and don’t blow things out of proportion when you make a mistake.

Don’t expect perfection from true friendships; they won’t expect it from you. Plus, you don’t feel like you have to walk on eggshells around them to gain their approval. They know that you will slip up from time to time, and you don’t have to give a long apology. They just put it behind them and know that you have good intentions despite your mistakes.

9. Real friendships mean they don’t talk about you behind your back.

Real friends NEVER gossip about you when you leave the room. Indeed, they act like adults and confront you personally if they need to talk to you. They respect you enough to not spread rumors and tarnish your reputation behind your back; they would instead smooth things over with you and have a rational discussion face-to-face.

10. They allow you to have other friendships without getting jealous and possessive.

Real friends feel confident enough in your friendship that they don’t have to resort to jealousy and trying to control your life. They give you the freedom to pursue other friendships and activities because they know your friendship is rock solid. They realize you don’t have to be in their company 24/7 to validate the friendship.

11. You have so many inside jokes and funny memories with them that you’ve lost count.

You have such a close friendship with them that you’ve spent countless hours together just being silly and laughing about nothing, and in turn, you’ve created so many unforgettable memories that will last a lifetime.

Final Thoughts on Fostering True Friendships

Like any relationship, friendships take an investment of your time and care. However, the real sign that tells you that you have a friend for life is when you find that you actually enjoy that time spent and look forward to the next time you connect.

5 Positive Thinking Tales You Should Never Believe

June 17, 2015 by Power of Positivity

Positive thought can be credited with reshaping our society and our lives. Unfortunately for those that don’t understand it, there is a lot of misinformation out there. It isn’t easy to buy into the fact that positive thought creates better lives when your thoughts keep returning to a place of negativity.

“There is a magnificent, beautiful, wonderful painting in front of you! It is intricate, detailed, a painstaking labor of devotion and love! The colors are like no other, they swim and leap, they trickle and embellish! And yet you choose to fixate your eyes on the small fly which has landed on it! Why do you do such a thing?” ~C. JoyBell

Someone who doesn’t have a true understanding of positive thought will either believe wholeheartedly in it or discount it altogether. Like most things, the truth lies somewhere in between. Positive thinking doesn’t make everything better; it helps you to know you can make things better by taking action and making better choices.

Shunning the idea of how powerful positive thought is usually from people who are afraid of the unknown. They want to feel like they are in control and believe that somehow they will be required to give up that control and just blindly believe.

The contrary is true. Positive thinking helps you center your focus and action on things you can change while learning to accept and let go of the things you can’t. It prevents you from dwelling in a space where you can’t affect positive change giving you more time to do the important things.

With so many myths about positive thinking, it is important to understand that it isn’t about looking at the world through rose-colored glasses. Positive thinkers are realistic and have a thorough understanding of what is going on around them. They just choose to look at things differently.

To help see things from the perspective of those who practice a lifestyle around positive thinking, here are five positive thinking myths that you should never believe.

5 positive thinking myths you should never believe:

1. Positive thinking encourages big dreams that aren’t achievable.

Positive people are more in tune with their goals and the steps needed to get there. They might dream big, but they know how to put in the work to achieve their ultimate goals. Positive people are also able to change course as needed, knowing it is part of life.

2. Positive thinkers close their eyes to the world’s suffering.

On the contrary, positive thinkers work to address the world’s suffering whether on a local or global scale. There is no argument that there are some terrible things happening in the world, but living in a state of misery in an attempt to relate to it doesn’t help anyone. Remaining positive and focusing on solving problems is how positive thinkers address the world’s suffering.

3. Positivity holds victims responsible for their situation.

Acknowledging that limitations and illness exist doesn’t mean the fault lies with the patients and victims of such circumstances. In fact, it is the power of our brains to handle adversity and move forward that is at the heart of positive thinking. It isn’t about blaming the victim, it’s knowing you have the power to give them a helping hand.

4. Positive thinking is just a nicety.

Understanding the influence of our thoughts on our lives has been explored for centuries. There have been hundreds of studies on the effect of positive thinking, and there is substantial proof that positive thinking can potentially change lives for the better. Positive thinking isn’t just something that people do, it has the power to change your view on life, and therefore, life itself.

5. Positive thinking does not shape our reality.

For the past century-and-a-half, roughly since the dawn of what we know to be modern clinical study, our conceptions of the mind have always expanded, and never receded. Our thoughts are far from the only influence on our lives, but we may be just at the beginning of understanding their power.

Being positive all the time might be nice but it isn’t necessarily reality. Like so much in life, attaining goals and showing empathy requires a balanced and moderate approach with a constant positive perspective behind it that neither dwells on the downsides or forces a jump for joy.

“Man often becomes what he believes himself to be. If I keep on saying to myself that I cannot do a certain thing, it is possible that I may end by really becoming incapable of doing it. On the contrary, if I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning.” – Mahatma Gandhi

Positive thinking gives you the power of believing things can change. Even if the face of adversity, suffering, and general discontent, positive thinkers know they can affect change around them and in turn change lives. They aren’t disappointed because they can’t “change the world” because they are content to change their world, knowing that it will ultimately change the world around them.

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5 Ways to Help Overcome Social Anxiety

June 15, 2015 by Power of Positivity

According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, social anxiety disorder affects 6.8% of the U.S. population. That total equals out to a staggering 15 million people. Social anxiety goes beyond just a tendency to act shy around others. Indeed, it can completely debilitate the sufferer. The disease makes it almost impossible to enjoy social situations. People with social anxiety have an extreme fear of being judged or ridiculed by others. Moreover, everyday life can become a constant battle.

Many people who suffer from social anxiety feel powerless against their emotions and symptoms. However, the following simple practices can make a world of difference when you start feeling anxious in social situations.

Here are 5 Ways to Help Overcome Social Anxiety:

1. Try not to have an “all or nothing” mindset.

Justin Weeks, Ph.D, an assistant professor of psychology and director of the Center for Evaluation and Treatment of Anxiety at Ohio University, said “Dispute both bleak thoughts that undermine your performance and fuel your anxiety, and equally unrealistic thoughts that are irrationally positive.”

What does this mean? Basically, you should practice retraining your brain to not automatically think of the worst-case scenario, but also not get your hopes up too high. Having the mindset of a “realistic optimist” can make life exponentially easier. That’s because you won’t have unrealistic expectations. However, you also won’t dwell on every little thing that might go wrong.

2. Gradually increase your exposure to social situations.

This is what therapists call cognitive-behavioral therapy. And if you do choose to see a therapist, he or she can help you through the necessary steps of feeling more comfortable in public.

Dr. Weeks said it best: “We avoid what frightens us, and in turn, are frightened by what we avoid.”

The longer you evade social encounters, the more the fear will build up in your mind. Of course, gradual exposure will ease you into the situation so you don’t become overwhelmed, so try to first imagine yourself conquering your fear. Picture yourself assuredly delivering a speech in front of your class, or confidently walking up to a group of people at a party, or even just having a relaxed conversation at your home with friends.

While you imagine this scenario, don’t focus on how others might perceive you. Just picture what you would ideally look, feel, and sound like if you felt totally comfortable in this social situation that you fear. Then, just go from there. Talk to your barista at the local coffee shop when you stop by. Or go out with a trusted family member or friend to somewhere that makes you feel anxious, like a grocery store or mall.

It might feel uncomfortable or scary at first, but conquering the fears that you have implanted in your brain is a very necessary step on the path to recovery. Make sure to practice positive affirmations along your journey, because a positive mindset is a key to overcoming any challenge, no matter how big or small.

3. Practice deep breathing and meditation exercises.

An emerging body of research continues to prove that mindfulness can ease symptoms, or even completely reverse, social anxiety disorders. People who suffer from any form of anxiety focus their attention entirely on the future – how people will react to what they say, what people will think of them, if people will notice their blushing face or shaky hands in a group setting, etc. However, meditation and deep breathing exercises teach them to bring their attention back to the present moment and think of nothing else but their own breath.

After practicing this for a few weeks or months, it becomes second nature, and they can use these valuable tools when talking to people, giving a speech, or anything else that requires interaction with people.

4. Join a support group for social anxiety.

Oftentimes, people who suffer from mental disorders feel isolated, misunderstood, and abandoned. However, social groups catered to people with similar issues or backgrounds can make sufferers feel like they belong somewhere, and that people do understand what they’re going through. Research local support groups on Facebook or maybe even your area’s Chamber of Commerce website for more information.

5. Avoid focusing your attention inward as often.

As you may have heard before, we are our own worst critics. We analyze ourselves more than other people ever will. Thus, we create a lot of anxiety in our heads about how we appear to others. Some might call this “hyper-analyzing,” and it can become a very toxic practice if you make it a habit. To free yourself from these incessant thoughts, try to instead shift your focus to your current environment.

Listen to others fully when they speak to you, instead of wondering what you will say or fearing how you look or sound to others. Notice the color of the paint on the walls. Or observe how the smiles on others’ faces brighten up the room. Taking the attention off yourself for a while doesn’t mean that you don’t matter. Instead, it just gives you a chance to take in the entirety of a situation, rather than just your role in that situation.

These practices allow you to embrace the full experience of life instead of just a fraction of it spent inside your mind. Enjoy the life awaiting you with open, loving arms. You are valuable and deserve to live it!

How to Make A Vision Board

June 14, 2015 by Power of Positivity

You may have wondered a time or two if vision boards work. Well they do, and the reason is simple – your brain will work to expand what is in your subconscious. Meaning if you glance at your vision board throughout the day, it will remain in your subconscious and, as a result, your brain will go to work in order to make it a reality.

A vision board is your image of the future. It represents your hopes, dreams, and goals for your life. The saying, “A picture is worth a thousand words” support the fact our mind responds most strongly to visual stimulation. Pictures along with your emotions are powerful motivators to achieving your dream life.

Ready to create a vision board? Here’s how:

1. Determine Your Vision Board Format.

Vision boards don’t always have to be a physical board; it might be your computer’s screensaver, background on your phone or pages in your planner. Observe your actions throughout the day and determine the best place for this board to be in your view frequently.

Some vision board formats to consider:

– A poster

– A Pinterest board

– An art journal

– Planner pages

– String and clothespins

– An inspiration wall

– A deck of cards

– A screensaver

2. Establish Your Goals

Your vision board can represent the dreams for your future life, or it may focus on just one area. Understand what you want to achieve and highlight the specifics. Be selective as you begin to craft your vision, avoiding clutter and chaos by moving forward with a sense of clarity.

3. Gather Images

Use images from your photo albums, magazines, the internet, artwork – anything that speaks to you. Make copies of original photographs and artwork to preserve them.

As you begin to gather images, use images that best represent not only the ultimate goal but the emotions and feelings around the goal.

Make sure and include pictures of yourself from a happy time on your board and include words, affirmations or inspirational quotes that resonate with you and support your goals.

Collect freely. It is better to have too many images than not enough.

4. Create Your Layout

Start creating some structure for your board. You can physically draw spaces on your board or digitally mark the space on your visual image. Write each goal in the sections you created.

Make sure the amount of space and placement of each goal is relative to the importance of your goal. For instance, your most important goal might have more space and be centered in comparison to less important goals.

5. Sort and Arrange Your Images

Go through your images, quotes, words and decide what belongs where. You should have way more than you will ever use, and that is okay. A few clear and concise images will serve you better than too many images that are distracting. You could save them for later use.

6. Create Your Collage

Be very selective on the images you are using. Make sure they adequately represent your goal and your feelings about the goal. You may still find yourself eliminating images as you work through this stage.

Trim your images and begin to layer your words and quotes with corresponding images. As you are arranging the images, trim to make them fit better or bring something into focus. Continue moving and trimming your images until you have a board you love.

7. Personalize It

Glue down your images or save the digital version. Add some doodles, hand-written text or other personal touches. You can even make a physical version and then take a picture of it to use digitally.

8. Display It

Find a place to display your new vision board where you will see it regularly. Creating it is an important part of the process because it clarifies your goals but seeing it regularly is just as important. So make sure it is front and center and share it with your friends so they can support your vision.

9. Review It Daily

Seeing the board every day is great but take it one step further by reviewing it every day. Feel the emotion of the achievement, pause and think about what actions you are taking to support your goals and what you can do next. Keeping your vision in the forefront of your mind will help you do the things that will propel you forward towards your goals.

As your dreams begin to manifest, recognize your achievements and acknowledge that it’s working. When you are ready for a new set of goals, create a new board leaving this one intact. Don’t tear down all the good work you have done.

While we have provided guidelines for creating your vision board, there is only one rule to remember: create a visual reminder that makes your heart smile and makes you feel good. In the end, that is the only thing you need to remember.

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