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10 Habits That Keep Couples Happy

Some couples seem happy all the time. No matter what they go through, they stay happily in love. What is their secret? It’s not a secret. They have learned to incorporate certain habits into their relationship. Here are ten habits that keep couples happy.

“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes couples unhappy.” ~Power of Positivity

1. Happy couples practice good listening

Displaying good listening skills says to your partner, I care about you. Happy couples care enough to stop what they’re doing and give their full attention to what their partner is saying. Attentive listening when your partner is talking improves your relationship satisfaction. Happy couples believe that listening is essential, and they practice healthy listening skills. Some good listening skills  include the following:

  • Get rid of distractions: Turn off your phone, the television and find a quiet location to talk.
  • Use total body language: Look at your partner’s eyes, lean forward, and don’t fidget while they talk.
  • Ask questions: After they finish, be sure to ask questions to clarify what they said. Please don’t assume you understand what they’re saying. Ask good questions that tell them you want to understand.

happy couples

2 – Happy couples assume the best about one another

A couple who believes the best about one another displays a level of trust. They don’t behave jealously or with mistrust.  That’s because they don’t base their union on a flimsy hope, but because they know each other’s character. Over time, they have gained one another’s trust and confidence. Happy couples have mutual trust without jealousy or accusations.

To build trust in a relationship, you should practice the following good habits:

  • Honest, open communication
  • Keep your word in small and big things
  • Show respect
  • Being vulnerable enough to express your feelings
  • Consistent behavior
  • Being humble
  • Admit when you make mistakes

3 – Happy couples laugh together

Happy couples know how to laugh together. They see the funny side of life’s everyday difficulties. They’re self-effacing, meaning they know how to laugh at themselves. This is because they don’t take themselves too seriously. These couples use humor with kindness rather than using sarcasm or mean put-downs. Laughter in a romantic relationship has a positive effect on the quality and closeness the couple feels. How can a couple learn to laugh together?

  • Here are some suggestions.
  • Watch a funny television show together
  • Crack funny jokes about the silly things you do or say
  • Create funny jokes that only the two of you understand
  • Tease one another
  • Be silly together

4 – Happy couples practice good communication

Good communication is essential for a happy relationship. These couples can be vulnerable with one another. They share their fears, hopes, and dreams without fear of ridicule. Good communication helps their relationship go deeper. Happy couples have meaningful conversations. This openness means you can freely share things they did that were hurtful or made you feel angry. The two of you can talk through your conflicts using good communication skills. These include

  • Talk about how you feel.
  • Avoid saying words like “you always” or “you never.”
  • Pick your battles
  • Listen to your partner
  • Be willing to admit you are wrong
  • Refuse to be easily offended. Your partner may have some insight that will help you.
  • Agree to disagree on some subjects

5 – Happy couples give one another emotional support

Emotional support is necessary for a happy, healthy relationship. When you have emotional support in a relationship, you feel like your partner understands you and wants the best for you. Supporting your partner could mean encouraging them when they’re discouraged or having a hard day at work or school. Happy couples ask each other what they can do to help or support one another. They try to improve their relationship by reading books together, attending seminars, or listening to podcasts.

6 – Happy couples don’t blame shift

Happy, healthy couples resist the urge to blame each other when they’re feeling upset.

It’s easy to slip into blaming, especially when you’re angry. Typically, there isn’t one thing that contributes to you feeling a certain way. It can be a hard day at work, the kids causing trouble, and then your partner does something that pushes you over the edge. It’s easy to see them as the problem. Happy couples sit down and unravel what is going on instead of lashing out at one another.

7 – Happy couples show one another respect

Happy couples show respect for each other by respecting one another’s feelings, opinions, and rights. They avoid things that show disrespect, such as the following actions:

  • Sarcastic put-downs
  • Eye rolling at what the other partner says
  • Snarky comments to questions
  • Public disrespect
  • Irritable comments
  • Manipulation
  • Happy couples display healthy respectful habits towards one another, such as
  • Patience
  • Kindness
  • Compassion
  • Apologizing
  • Taking responsibility
  • Forgive quickly
  • Allow their partner to contribute their ideas without critiquing them
  • Show respect in public

happy couples

8 – Happy couples encourage each other

Encouraging words build up a relationship. It’s easy to fall into a bad habit of not expressing encouragement to your partner because you assume they know how you feel. You can encourage your partner in simple ways every day.  Saying things like these can build the relationship:

  • I appreciate how you handled that situation
  • Thanks for caring about that as much as I do
  • I appreciate your thoughtfulness
  • I’m so glad we’re together
  • You make me feel loved
  • I missed you today
  • Thanks for being such a great listener

9 – Happy couples are committed to the relationship

A common habit of happy couples is a commitment to their relationship. They both want the relationship to succeed and will work towards that goal. They use language and do things that show their commitment to the relationship. These things include

  • These couples say “we” instead of “I.”
  • They build up rather than tearing one another down.
  • They are willing to do the hard work for their relationship like reading books on relationships, attending couples’ seminars, or getting counseling if necessary.
  • These couples aren’t looking around for other potential partners.

10 – Happy couples don’t always feel “in love” with one another

Contrary to popular opinion, being in a relationship doesn’t mean you always have lovey-dovey feelings. Sometimes the other person makes you mad. This doesn’t cancel out your love for them. All relationships have their ups and downs. Being “in love” generally means having butterflies in your stomach or a strong physical attraction. You may still feel attracted to your partner, but it may not have the same intensity. Love means commitment and keeping your promises. It’s more than a feeling. It’s an emotional connection to the other person and the best companion you can be to them.

People in Successful Relationships Avoid These Behaviors

Happy couples have positive habits that contribute to the happiness of their relationship. But what are some things they don’t do? Here are a few things they avoid.

They don’t gossip about one another:

It can be tempting to discuss personal things about your partner with your friends. You may not even realize you’re gossiping about them. A good question to ask yourself before you say something is, “Would I like it if my partner shared this information about you with their friends?” Your close friends don’t need to know stuff about your partner unless they’ve told you it’s okay to share it.

Keeping score of mistakes:

Everyone makes mistakes. Keeping track of your partner’s mistakes serves no purpose other than to point the finger at them. It does little to help your relationship. Instead, it will tear it down. Keeping track of your partner’s mistakes lifts you as if you’re superior to them, so you look as if you’ve never made a mistake. Happy couples don’t keep track because it takes away their happiness.

Keeping their relationship first and the kids second

Couples with kids know that it’s easy to focus on their kids all the time. Your kids have plenty of needs, but it’s essential to keep your relationship first and foremost. You can keep your relationships first by incorporating simple habits into your week, such as the following relationship-strengthening activities:

  • Scheduling a date night every week.
  • Cuddling together on the sofa to watch a show.
  • Go for a walk without the kids after dinner.
  • Smile at one another across the dinner table.

happy couples

Final Thoughts on the Things That Keep Couples Happy

Those couples that seem so happy aren’t perfect. But they have learned the secret of practicing habits that help their relationship grow strong. They understand that feeling “in love” isn’t necessarily as important as showing respect, encouraging each other, and giving one another emotional support. They know how to avoid gossiping about one another, letting the kids take center stage in their lives, and keeping track of one another’s mistakes. Most of all, these couples know that being happy together doesn’t just occur. It takes lots of work and a wholehearted commitment to being a happy couple.

7 Life Changing Lessons To Learn From Introverts

According to a 1998 National Representative Sample by the Myers-Briggs organization 50% of the population identifies as an introvert. Current reliable statistics were hard to find. However, it’s quite obvious that we live in a culture that glorifies extroversion much more. In business, politics, or just social gatherings, extroverts tend to take center stage. Meanwhile, the introverts prefer to work from behind the scenes.

Introverts are highly misunderstood. In our society, they might come across as rude, standoffish, aloof, or just unfriendly. However, introverts simply draw their energy from within rather than from other people. They require a lot of time alone to recharge. Unfortunately, most people just take that as a sign that they don’t want to be bothered and aren’t interested in connecting with others. Introverts do love people. However, they can get easily drained from all the excitement, and simply feel more comfortable in their own company.

Introverts may not win awards for “Best Personality” or “Most Popular Person” in high school. However, they can teach us valuable lessons that last far beyond the legacy we create in school.

Here are 7 important life lessons to learn from introverts:

1. You can be alone without feeling lonely.

Many people in today’s world can’t stand the thought of being alone. They constantly need the validation of others in order to feel worthy and feel bored or restless when they have to spend time by themselves. Introverts teach us that we can become our own best friends, and learn to truly enjoy the person we spend the most time with in life – ourselves! Think of how many people you hear each day that belittle themselves, bash themselves, and don’t show themselves the support and love they deserve.

By spending time in solitude, however, one can learn to form a loving bond with their own soul and see the spirit that lies beneath the skin suits we all wear.

2. Spend time nourishing your creativity.

Many artists, poets, musicians, and the like all have one thing in common – they love spending time alone. In fact, most of their time is spent in their rooms, dreaming, creating, imagining, and working on their own passions. Extroverts excel at garnering the attention of others and can walk into a room full of people like it’s nothing. However, they usually don’t spend much time on their inner selves, because it doesn’t come naturally to them. Introverts show us that honoring our creative, feminine nature can open up new portals in our journeys to discovering our highest selves and that expressing ourselves in more subtle ways allows us to reflect on our true nature.

3. Rely on yourself for the answers you seek.

Extroverts love attention and usually base their self-worth on what others think about them. The more people that love them, the better they feel about themselves. Although introverts do care greatly about what others think of them, they have learned that the greatest fulfillment comes from their own opinion of themselves. Introverts usually derive their energy and wisdom from exercises such as meditation and yoga and have learned that they can discover entire worlds otherwise unknown to them from simply looking inward.

4. The greatest inspiration comes from within.

We often look to others to inspire us, but what about the incredible inspiration that we possess already? Introverts have learned to rely on themselves, to become their own heroes. They don’t idolize anyone, because they know that we all are our own gurus. We can heal ourselves by simply matching our vibration to what we wish to experience more of in our lives. Introverts understand themselves on a deep level and therefore inspire themselves from the struggles they have overcome on their soul journeys thus far.

5. Listen more, talk less.

It probably comes as no surprise that introverts make better listeners due to the fact that they just don’t enjoy talking about themselves too much. They see gabbing about their own issues as shallow and almost useless, and would much rather offer a listening ear to someone else. They don’t like the spotlight, so naturally, they make wonderful listeners because talking too much drains their energy. Introverts show us that we can have deeper, more meaningful relationships and even become more effective leaders by showing compassion for others and allowing them to open up to us fully.

6. Get to know the depths of people’s souls.

Introverts usually don’t have many relationships, but the ones they do have are very deep, complex, satisfying connections. They don’t do as well making small talk and lasting first impressions. But give them enough time to break down their walls. You’ll see that they make some of the most loyal, generous, and best friends or lovers you will ever have. Introverts teach us to give others a chance to open up, and have relationships built on a deep bond, mutual respect, and compassion for one another. Introverts value long heart-to-heart conversations that they will not easily forget, and seek out friendships and relationships with people who exhibit those qualities.

introvert truths7. Think before you speak.

Thinking too much can be just as disastrous as not thinking at all. Fortunately, introverts tend to mull over what they will say a bit before the speak, so as to express their thoughts clearly and precisely. Introverts don’t do well with being put on the spot. But give them a few moments to prepare, and they will shine.

Regardless of their performance in front of a crowd or even a small group of people, introverts show us that thinking about the impact of your words before you speak can change the entire direction of a conversation. The words and tone we use on a day-to-day basis with people greatly determine our relationships with them. And because introverts tend to be more sensitive to others’ needs, they care more about how their words will affect others.

5 Ways to Turn Around a Bad Day

A bad day makes a date with sweatpants and ice cream sound like the most desirable way to mark another day off of the calendar. In reality, a bad day is actually deterring you from your highest path. Moreover, it will continue to do so as long as you allow it.

Luckily, the bad day doesn’t have to last. YOU have the choice to turn a “blah” day into an “Ahhh” day. And that can make you feel accomplished, positive, and well prepared for the next day on your schedule.

Here are 5 ways to turn a bad day into a better day:

bad-day

1 – Spending Time with Family

An excellent way to break free from a funk is to be around family. This family might be the one you were born with, the family found along the way or your soul tribe. These are the people who are closest to you and care about you most will lift you up and keep your mind off of the things that have put you in the pits.

2 – Spending Time with yourself

This may seem like it’s what you’re already doing, but sometimes the company you need IS your own self. The catch is that time spent with yourself has to be in the right setting. Think about turning on the Marvin Gaye for your soul, serenading yourself and showing yourself the love you truly deserve from the inside out. Look at yourself in the mirror and verbally affirm the wonderful, beautiful, happy human that you truly are.

3 – Deep Breathing

Breathing has been known for ages to calm the mind and spirit, bringing you the clarity you need to reverse engineer your situation, figure out why it happened, and properly send positive energy to it. A technique known as “Prana” breathing is excellent for dealing with the depressing situation at hand. In cadence, breathe in for 4 counts and out for 8 counts. Do this repeatedly and you’ll feel the calm wash over you, allowing you to float into a positive perspective and dig yourself out of the rut.

4 – Change the direction of your thoughts.

What goes through a person’s mind while the robe and couch combination is in full force is what matters most. If freedom from a bad day is to be found, it will begin with the conscious monitoring of thought. If the direction of thoughts is positive, then great! You’re on your way out already.

If they’re negative, remind yourself of your ultimate happiness, affirm it out loud. And don’t ever be afraid to act like a kid to bring out your happiness. Go ahead and jump on the bed, slide across the floor in your socks or sing out loud in the shower. Getting in touch with your inner child will put you into a positive frame of mind in no time.

5 – Aromatherapy

Aromatherapy uses soothing plant materials in order to alter a person’s mood, mind, subconscious state, or health. Aromatherapy often involves many different varieties of essential oils. Certain oils work to relieve stress, freshen your mind, and set the perfect mood to perk you up. For example, oils associated with lavender lemon, lime, peppermint, spearmint, and cypress (click to buy) are commonly used to cleanse and purify negative thoughts. Using these oils to purge your negative thoughts is going to allow you to embrace happiness and really get back to enjoying your life.

There are so many ways to turn a bad day around, but we wanted to share 5 to get you going. You can also meditate, exercise, do something random, call a friend, or even just turn on a funny movie while you’re stuck on the sofa.

How do you turn your bad days around?  Share in the discussion below! 

10 Life Lessons You Weren’t Taught In School

Ironically, most of us spend at least 12-16 years of our lives in school, yet, we don’t learn much about real-life during our time there. Even the new “common core” education doesn’t begin to cover the true lesson that we need as adults to function properly in this world and stimulate our growth.

That claim is evidenced by this 4th grader who challenged the conventional system and garnered the attention of the school board in Florida.

After we get out of school, most of us have to spend some time deprogramming from the system we have been thrown into and lift the veil from over our eyes in order to learn important life lessons.

Here are 10 lessons about life that you probably didn’t learn in school:

1. Your job title doesn’t define who you are.

Most people go into careers that they don’t truly enjoy just to make good money, and according to a 2017 Gallup Poll survey, a whopping 70% of people in America feel disengaged from their jobs.

Many become attached to their job titles, thinking that their labels really determine who they are. However, you are much more than the job you hold; you are literally energy personified.

A job title doesn’t even begin to describe your true identity. In fact, it only shows what you do to make an income. Your character and level of consciousness do a much better job of portraying what lies within your heart.

2. You are a living, breathing embodiment of cosmic energy with endless power.

No one can take this power away from you, not with money, fame, war, threats, or insults. You incarnated here on this planet from the same Source as everyone else, so we all come here with equal potential. You’re not just a machine here to perform a job so you can pay bills and make your boss happy; you came here to shake this world to its core and redefine what it means to live on this planet.

You have left an everlasting imprint on the world just by being here, so don’t ever feel unimportant, because your life matters more than you have been led to believe.

3. Collaboration is more important than competition.

“If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.” – African Proverb

School teaches us to regurgitate “facts” we have learned in textbooks, get high marks on tests, put those results on our resumes, and get a good job making an honest living. It teaches very little about the power of the collective and what we can really accomplish together.

You have unlimited potential, but it expands even more when you become a leader and share your knowledge and experiences with others. Also, you should view others as equal players in this grand scheme of life.

4. Most learning takes place from experiences, not from reading textbooks.

Schooling seems to value learning from books over gaining knowledge from experiences. Extracurricular activities and recess time have been cut drastically in recent years as more emphasis is put on end-of-year statewide tests designed to measure everyone on the same principles.

However, everyone learns differently, and you don’t create yourself by reading the information given by others.

You invent yourself by getting out there and immersing yourself in new experiences that will make a lasting impression on your heart and soul. Real learning begins to take place once you have left the confines of school and allow life to be your teacher.

5. Happiness begins and ends with you.

Most schools teach that happiness comes from something outside yourself, whether that be grades on tests, how many friends you have, how popular you are, or something of that sort.

Truthfully, you will find happiness only within yourself once you realize that you are solely in charge of your energy, no one else.

6. All life is sacred, and we are all equal beings on this Earth, despite our physical differences.

When we get into school, we’re immediately placed in a class based on our intellect; you might know these as “regular” and “honors” classes. Our whole being is judged by how quickly we can calculate math problems or how high we score on a test, which further separates us from our peers. The color of our skin places us in categories by the state, and many of us got bullied by those who were in the “popular” crowd.

Out of school, though, none of these trivial lessons really matter. We all come from the same force, and we will all go back to the same source. We may look and act differently, but inside, we all just want love, compassion, and meaning in our lives. Schooling wants to separate us, but the universe just wants us all to become united in the truth once again.

7. Food is medicine.

What school teaches very little of is something that will impact your entire life: nutrition. Upon graduating, most of us learned the horrors of our food industries on this Earth and began educating ourselves on proper health and nutrition.

Fruit and vegetables can heal and will raise you into a totally new vibration.

8. If most of society is doing something, you should probably do the opposite.

Schooling teaches conformity, but looking at our current state of affairs, most of us can probably agree that paving our own path will take us to a better place than following the crowd. Nonconformity will set you free from society’s chains.

9. Self-love opens the door to attracting love from others.

In school, you won’t learn one of the most fundamental lessons about life: how to love yourself. Your relationship with yourself determines your entire life, from the relationships you have with others to how you feel mentally and physically. Love will save us, and it all begins in your own heart.

10. Helping others will bring more true happiness than bringing home a bigger paycheck.

Another lesson hardly emphasized in grade school is the power of helping others. We get taught that only our grades and class rank matter when there are so many people hurting in today’s world that need our help. We have the ability to come together as a whole and bring balance to a very chaotic world, but only if we realize that we are all one family, one life force, one being that can turn darkness into light with the power of our intentions.

Final Thoughts: Share the Lessons You Learned After Leaving School

What other important lessons have you learned outside of school? Share in the discussion below!

10 Lessons We Need to Learn from Animals

From the tiniest bug on the sidewalk to the mighty lion roaming the African savannah, animals of all kinds can teach us valuable life lessons.

If we really pay attention, other animals can teach us many important lessons that we may have forgotten in the haste of our normal daily lives. Just by interacting briefly with other creatures, we can take away valuable knowledge that we can’t always learn from our fellow humans.

Even your own pet can teach you new things every single day without you realizing it. We live in such a fascinating universe that constantly gives us opportunities to learn.

Open your eyes and silence your mind to take in all the lessons our amazing animal friends can show us, including these ten.

 

lessons-from-animals

 

10 Things Animals Teach Us About What Matters Most:

1. Live in the present moment.

Humans often bounce around from one thought or place to the next without fully immersing themselves in what’s happening around them. Other species, on the other hand, don’t have much else to think about other than searching for food, water, shelter from the elements, and their next mate.

Take a deer, for example – they peacefully flow from one activity to another, searching for berries, fresh water, or just enjoying their surroundings. If you get the chance to observe this graceful creature in action, you will surely forget about everything except the present moment.

2. Love unconditionally.

When people think of animals that show unconditional love, dogs usually come to mind. These loving, cuddly animals never withhold their desire to offer support and understanding to their fellow human friends, and even if you get mad at them, they will still be there for you.

Dogs are called man’s best friend for a reason, because of their undying loyalty, faithfulness, and respect for human beings. We can learn a lot about how to treat one another based on how our furry canine friends treat us.

3. Smile no matter what.animal-quote-lessons-learned-in-life

In Australia, you can find a tiny, cute animal called a Quokka scurrying through the trees…and stopping to take selfies with humans if they’re not too busy. Recently, people have been posting their pictures with this amiable, cheerful creature, and the first thing you will notice about them is their infectious smile. They seem to live out their days without a worry in the world and keep a positive attitude through it all.

So, even if you’ve had a bad day, think of how the Quokka would handle it, and you will instantly break out in smiles.

4. Work together.

Ants, in particular, are a shining example of this in action. They carry tiny specks of dirt underground to form complex tunnels and living systems, tackle prey as a team, and help each other carry leaves back to their colony to use as mulch for raising fungus, which they eat to survive. They work harder than many species just to get through each day, and they do it as a team. No one gets left behind, and no one carries all the weight while others just sit on the sidelines.

What can we learn from them?

To value one another, collaborate, and work together to coexist instead of competing with each other for resources.

5. Make time to rest.

Let’s face it – humans tend to work way too much, and rest way too little. Other species don’t overwork themselves; they enjoy every moment of downtime they get to re-energize and relish in life’s beauty. Look at pigs – they roll around in the mud all day, eat, and lay around until they get hungry again.

While they might seem lazy, we could actually learn a thing or two from them about learning to relax once in a blue moon.

6. Be brave.

More than any other animal, lions represent courage, strength, and resilience. They don’t back down from a challenge and must hunt aggressive prey for their tribe. They don’t just lurk in the shadows – they make their presence known and pick themselves back up every time they fall. If someone says you have the heart of a lion, consider that a compliment; it means you show incredible strength and bravery in the face of extreme adversity.

Humans tend to let fear stand in our way, so channel your inner lion next time…your fear will quickly step to the side.

7. Follow your own path in life.

Horses tend to live pretty independently, and often stray from the pack when they get an itch to explore on their own. While they have a majestic, fanciful appearance, they also have a fierce, stubborn side that takes them into uncharted territory and allows them to pave their own path.

Be like the horse and run freely into the wind without thinking of what the consequences might be – just let your heart take the wheel and drive you where you need to go.

8. Listen more, talk less.

Dolphins actually communicate with one another via high-pitched whistling noises, and each one makes a distinctive sound that other dolphins can immediately recognize. They have very advanced communication techniques that rival our own, in some ways, and must listen in order to understand each other’s location in the vast ocean. If they all whistled at once, none of them would be able to find one another – they have honed their listening skills in order to function best as a group.

Humans can especially learn from dolphins that listening to another person, rather than always needing to talk, can actually benefit relationships much more in the long run.

9. Get silly!

Bunnies have very silly, playful personalities, for the most part, and can teach us to let our guard down and have a little fun with life every once in a while. They hop and run around, lick our feet when they want our attention, and never sit still for too long. Some consider them as hyperactive, annoying little creatures, but they just like to enjoy life and express themselves in a way only that they know.

10. Practice forgiveness.

Unfortunately, elephants often fall victim to poaching or other violence inflicted by humans, and they usually lose family members in the process. Elephants possess great intelligence and feel complex emotions just like we do. Many organizations take in orphaned elephants who have watched family members die or get injured at the hands of humans, yet these elephants allow their new caretakers to rear them anyway. Elephants can teach us to forgive in any situation, even if we can’t always understand the other person’s actions.

What have animals taught you during your life so far? Share your lesson in the discussion below!

How to Release Attachments to Past Relationships

We’ve all carried baggage from past relationships at one time or another. Whether it’s from a past love, friendship or even a family member, we carry the baggage from these relationships with us, and it can affect everything we do. Everything.

The problem isn’t actually the baggage itself but how we allow the baggage to define us. Can we figure out who we are independent of the baggage or has the baggage created who we are?

If the baggage is defining who we are, then we owe it to ourselves to release its hold over us. “Just let it go,” they say. But just letting it go is a much more difficult task than it sounds. Letting go of something we have been carrying around with us for a while isn’t something that happens overnight, but it is possible.

Here are some ways to help us begin the process of releasing the hold our baggage has on our lives, the decisions we make, and our existing relationships.

How to Release Attachments to Past Relationships

1 – Be willing to release the attachment

Why we hold onto baggage is different for all of us. We might use it to shield us from future hurt, to help propel us into action, to allow us to feel certain emotions, or to keep us from moving forward. Any action motivated by the baggage we hold onto is not serving us.

We often want to release the baggage, when in some way it is giving us something we think we need.  We know it isn’t healthy, but on some level, we keep justifying it to ourselves. Letting go of the baggage is hard and doesn’t happen overnight, but we have to start with the affirmation that it is what we need to do.

inspiring quotes

2 – Journal

We should start writing down our thoughts, beliefs and the behaviors that affect our mood. Be honest and just write anything that comes to mind. It’s important to create a judgment-free zone where we are able to be real with ourselves. As we continue to write, we will start to notice patterns and triggers that we can begin to recognize and change.

Research backs this claim. Mental health experts recommend journal writing as a therapeutic intervention for patients.

3 – Challenge the Story

We write our life’s story from our perspective. If the story is not contributing positively to our current reality, it is up to us to challenge it. Our story is from our point of view, as it should be. But to begin to let go of the baggage, it is helpful to take a step outside of our story and write it from another perspective. Another perspective helps us to release the overwhelming emotion we feel and can help us break the hold it has on us.

4 – Find the Positive

Every relationship, even the bad ones, serve a purpose in our lives. Our goal should be to find something positive that will help us reframe how we look at the relationship.

Maybe the relationship helped define acceptable behaviors, made us stronger and more resilient, or helped us become more grateful for small moments. We can only begin to let go once we stop focusing on the bad and shift our focus to the silver lining, however small.

5 – Treat Others With Kindness

It is easy to treat kind people with kindness, but make it a goal to treat everyone with kindness – even those less deserving. This shifts our focus from past bad behaviors to future good ones. When we stop letting the bad behaviors of past relationships determine our future actions, we can begin to let go.

6 – Visualize Your Own Version of Happy

As we begin to separate ourselves from the baggage, it is important to visualize what our happiness without it looks like.

How do we feel and act in our relationships with others? And how does our time alone make us feel? Finally… How do we make decisions without the baggage as an influence?

Once we have a clear vision of what life is like without our dependence on our baggage, it is easier to make choices with that future in mind.

7 – Release Expectations

As we begin to act independent of our baggage, it is important to move forward without expectations. It is our expectations that will keep us tied to the behaviors of our past relationships. We oftentimes have expectations, some of which are unrealistic, without even realizing it. That is why journaling is so important. You will become aware of when the baggage is creeping in.

strong people and relationshipsFinal Thoughts: It Can Be Healthy for You to Release Past Relationships

It’s okay to be a little weary of the process. We harbor a great deal of emotion and it can be painful to get through it. If we continue to hold onto it without facing it, it will affect everything we do. Don’t wait until there is a risk of losing something wonderful to release the baggage.

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