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11 Ways to Support Someone With Anxiety

July 29, 2015 by Power of Positivity

It’s normal for us to feel on edge from time to time. The demands that are placed on us – from our work, families, finances, etc. – can sometimes feel overwhelming. For people with chronic anxiety, a persistent unease is a day-long event. The tendency of anxiety-ridden people to mask their illness for fear of being “discovered” often makes the experience more difficult – both for the individual and those who care for them.

If someone that you care for has anxiety, you may feel a loss of control – this is entirely normal; just understand that simply being there for your loved one can make a difference.

Here are 11 ways to compassionately support someone with anxiety:

#1 – Be accepting and open.

Simply let the person know you’re there and willing to listen without judgment or criticism. If they do open up to you, refrain from giving feedback or advice on what they should or shouldn’t do unless they ask. It’s important to understand that simply allowing them to talk about their thoughts and feelings can bring a sense of relief. It isn’t necessary to analyze everything that they say. Just be present, look them in the eyes, and acknowledge their concerns.

#2 – Educate yourself.

Understanding the medical reasons for anxiety is a great asset and will help you to be part of a better support system. It’s important to remember that an anxiety disorder is not a thought disorder but a chemical imbalance. A person with chronic anxiety innately understands this, because as hard as they try to stop the thoughts, the more they realize that this is extremely difficult. Even a basic understanding of the disorder and its symptoms can make you a better, more knowledgeable person to be around.

#3 – Spend time with them.

Just because someone you love has anxiety doesn’t mean they don’t want to spend time with you. In fact, your being around your loved one is often an excellent source of comfort. This is for two reasons: (1) they thoroughly enjoy your company, and (2) your presence makes it more difficult for them to think about their anxiety. Also, try to best to recognize their need for space. If they say things like “I want to be alone” or “I just need time to myself,” make sure you oblige accordingly.

#4 – Don’t bring it up if unasked.

The affliction can often be a source of embarrassment for a person with chronic anxiety. While anxiety is nothing to be ashamed of (they can’t help it, after all), it’s still a touchy subject for them. Trying to rationalize an often irrational disorder will only subject the person to more uncertainty and shame. Instead, just be present and talk about what they want. If you talk about sports, talk about sports. If you talk about movies, talk about movies, and so on.

#5 – Get active.

If you are available and the opportunity presents itself, take the person outside. Exercise is a well-known remedy for anxiety and can bring an almost magical effect on a person’s mindset. Do something fun, like a hike, bike ride, or shoot some baskets. Even a quick stroll at the local park can help alleviate some of the symptoms caused by anxiety. The reason why exercise is so effective is that it causes the release of endorphins – hormones that can create euphoric feelings.

#6 – Remain hopeful.

Anxiety is a treatable condition; it just takes time. Plenty of free resources are available for people who suffer from the disorder. If they ask for advice, suggest something helpful; for example, mindfulness meditation, yoga, exercise, or something else. If you understand that they are in a desperate condition, suggest (don’t recommend) that they see a medical professional for a consultation.

#7 – Be yourself.

There is no need to change who you are because your loved one has anxiety. Chances are they appreciate you for being you and don’t expect anything different. In fact, a sudden change of demeanor – especially to a more “therapeutic” or sullen one – can bring up some sense of guilt in them. Instead, just be yourself. The only exception is if you feel negative or particularly vulnerable to anger; in this case, it is better to be elsewhere.

#8 – Be resilient.

A person you love being afflicted with anxiety can cause emotional distress. When you feel this way, it can take its toll on your quality of life. It’s important to remember that you’re doing the best you can and that everything will likely turn out just fine. This situation with your loved one is temporary, so stay tough and take it just one day at a time. That’s all you can do.

#9 – Don’t take things personally

For the person affected, managing anxiety is a difficult and often exhausting task. This is because the constant inner monologue that comes with anxiety often drains them of mental and physical resources. As such, it is essential not to take it personally if they suddenly drift out of a conversation, seek solitude, or act standoffish; the acts are simply a byproduct of anxious thoughts.

#10 – Separate the person from the anxiety.

A person’s whole is greater than the sum of their parts, which is valid for someone with anxiety. While someone you love battles with the disorder, separating the anxiety from the individual can be tough. The last thing they want you to think of when you see them is “anxious.” Remember, this is still a human with various complex thoughts and emotions. Don’t allow the affliction to define the person as you know them. Approach each encounter with a non-judgmental and open mind.

#11 – Be available.

Even if it may not feel like it at times, you are a blessing to a person with anxiety. Being available to discuss their thoughts and feelings is often a sanctuary for them. Remind your loved one that you are no more than a phone call away and that you’ll be there for them no matter the time. Even though they may have difficulty expressing it, they appreciate and love you beyond comprehension.

8 Signs Your Ego Is Trying To Sabotage You

July 24, 2015 by Power of Positivity

The ego can most easily be described as the mask you wear in daily life.

The real you, hidden beneath all the layers you have put on, wants to reveal itself, but the ego likes to maintain control at all times. It can’t stand to give up its power over you, and sadly, many people never move beyond the ego’s domain in their lifetime. If you have felt like you’re in a constant war with your own mind, your ego might feel threatened by your higher self.

Here are 8 signs to look out for if you think your ego is trying to sabotage you:

Do any of these behaviors sound familiar to you?

1. You have become very self-destructive.

Thoughts of self-hate regularly enter your brain, and you have turned to compulsive habits such as drinking or smoking. The ego comes from a place of darkness, and to tame it is one of the most difficult tasks a human will face in his or her lifetime. It fears giving up control, so it wants to keep you in a low vibrational state at all times to avoid transparency. So, if you have picked up on destructive habits and demeaning thought patterns about yourself, you can almost be sure the ego is the mastermind behind it all.

2. You feel overly self-conscious around others.

The ego doesn’t always make a grand entrance; sometimes, it likes to take a more subtle approach. Self-destructive habits can also include feeling a lack of self-confidence, but this doesn’t seem as apparent as the former. However, the ego is still likely to blame, because it always wants you to second-guess yourself and rely on things outside your consciousness for contentment. However, once you move into your heart and act on love rather than fear, you will slowly see this behavior dissipate.

3. You find yourself complaining often.

The ego loves to find everything wrong with a situation or person, so it harps on all the atrocities and misfortunes in life on a daily basis. Complaining every once in a while is a part of life, but if you catch yourself seeing the glass half-empty more than you normally would, try to look inside and tell your ego that all is well, and it doesn’t have to worry.

4. You point out the negatives in your life before the positives.

Becoming a Negative Nancy can happen without you ever noticing this shift in consciousness, because the ego moves very slyly. It likes to go undetected and work in the background so as not to draw too much attention to itself. Looking at the world negatively reflects your vibration, so if you want to start noticing the positive aspects of life, work on taming the ego and feeding your soul instead.

5. Fights and arguments happen frequently between yourself and others.

Like we’ve said before, the ego doesn’t enjoy being wrong, and gets wounded easily if it doesn’t get its way. If you constantly have to get the last word in and can’t stand for others to be right, your ego is definitely trying to interfere with your life.

6. You judge others harshly.

This sort of goes along with seeing the negative in the world, but judging others is actually just a reflection of yourself. How you see yourself, you will see others, so if you want to start noticing the good in people, you must first realize the positive things about yourself.

7. You find it hard to listen to others without wanting to interrupt.

When the ego rules, it doesn’t know how to meet others halfway. It works using a “my way, or the highway” approach, so allowing others to speak and have the attention on them really scares the ego. It doesn’t take well to giving others the time of day, so if you find it difficult to let other people speak without wanting to interject, your ego is clearly dominating your energy.

8. You seek revenge when others hurt you.

The ego needs to get even when it feels pain, so what does it do? Try to destroy others, of course. It survives by tearing you down and tearing others down, so to stay alive, it must always hurt others. The Ego feeds off pain and destruction, but that doesn’t mean it is necessarily bad. You must learn to use it for good and not evil, just like a superhero would do. They all have incredible powers but must use them wisely for the benefit of themselves and humanity as a whole.

This ONE Habit Creates Better Behaved Children

July 23, 2015 by Power of Positivity

Raising children in today’s hectic society comes with a lot more challenges than it did just 20 or 30 years ago. Indeed, we now have more demanding jobs. Our phones distract us continuously. And, we lead busier lives in general. Somewhere in the mix, parents have to rear their children, and disciplining them is a huge part of the process.

Unfortunately, behavioral problems in children are much more prevalent today. However, this one simple habit can actually create more well-mannered children.

What is the secret? Sitting down for family dinners.

How Does Mealtime Correlate to Behavior in Children?

You might be asking yourself, “What is the correlation here?” Well, a comprehensive report released by the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University (CASA), stated:

“Eating family dinners at least five times a week drastically lowers a teen’s chance of smoking, drinking, and using drugs. Teens who have fewer than three family dinners a week are 3.5 times more likely to have abused prescription drugs and to have used illegal drugs, 3 times more likely to have used marijuana, more than 2.5 times more likely to have smoked cigarettes, and 1.5 times more likely to have tried alcohol, and 20% more likely to get C’s or lower on their report cards.”

Aside from a decreased likelihood of substance abuse, children who ate meals with their families at least five times per week had a lower risk of developing obesity and other eating disorders, engaging in criminal activities, having low self-esteem, performing badly in school, becoming pregnant at a young age, and giving into peer pressure.

So, something as simple as having dinner as a family can benefit young children in a handful of ways, providing them with a more enriching life and bolstering their outlook on themselves. Children need stability and lots of bonding time with their parents, and in today’s world, dinner time is usually the only opportunity throughout the day to connect with family members and share experiences and thoughts about their day.

Finding the Time to Eat as a Family

Many parents today work longer hours than ever, and children often have to prepare meals themselves, or just eat take-home foods that parents bring home for them. However, heavily processed, fat-laden foods can lead to serious health problems, not to mention that buying dinners every night can take a big chunk out of your pocket change. Think about it: at home, you can make a big family dinner using only a few quality ingredients, and the leftovers might last a few nights. When you order take-out, the average price of a meal is $8.00, and the food usually only lasts for one meal.

When you make meals at home, you can reap so many benefits that aren’t available when you order food in: you can prepare meals together, which provides quality bonding time; you have more time to relax and enjoy mealtime if you aren’t rushing out to pick up food; you choose what ingredients you use in the food you make, resulting in a healthier meal; and most importantly, the family can spend time together as a whole, and children feel more comforted and connected to their parents.

Children who listen do these things with their parents.

Tips for Having Family Dinner With Your Children

So, what does it take to have a successful family dinner? Not much, honestly; just your undivided attention, willingness to be flexible with your schedule, and ability to prepare healthy, nourishing foods for the family.

1 – Make meals simple.

Don’t worry about following complicated recipes and slaving over the stove for hours; you can make delicious, healthy meals with just a few ingredients that the whole family can enjoy. Also, think about making extra food so that you have leftovers for a few nights, making meal time even simpler.

2 – Don’t bring technology to the dinner table.

To really connect and bond with your children, turning off the technology for dinnertime is vital. Checking emails, Facebook, and other social media can really distract you and interrupt the whole bonding experience. Make it a point to leave your technology in another room. Focus all your attention on your children for the time being. The emails and Facebook will still be there when mealtime is over. But your children grow up quickly. So right now they need your full attention and support–especially little ones.

3 – Get everyone to help out.

Assign a few simple chores to your children. That way, you don’t have to do all the preparing and cleaning up. This will teach them responsibility, plus, it will make the family feel like a team, creating a deeper bond.

4 – Let everyone join in the conversation.

In our fast-paced world, sometimes it seems almost unnatural to slow down and turn off the chatter in our brains. Letting others have the floor and just listening, though, is important to your children’s development, and will create much better conversation at the dinner table. Allow everyone to talk, and encourage your children to share whatever they want about their day or just life in general.

Final Thoughts on Eating Dinner With Your Children

Of course, no family is perfect. However, sitting down together for a nice family dinner can make such a drastic difference in how everyone connects and communicates with one another.

Even if you can’t coordinate a family meal every night, having just three or four meals together a week will help your children tremendously in their development and behavior.

15 Quotes That Will Lift You Up When You Feel Like A Failure

July 23, 2015 by Power of Positivity

These quotes will help you feel better after a failure.

Throughout our journey on Earth, we all mess up sometimes. However, those slip-ups can make us incredibly hard on ourselves, and most of us have difficulty letting those feelings go when things don’t happen as planned. For some reason, we can forgive others and see past their flaws most of the time; but when it comes to ourselves, those insecurities and supposed shortcomings can eat us up inside.

It is important, however, to remember that by failing, you are living. You take chances, put yourself out there, and show the world what you’re made of. Our failures shape us, teach us, and push us to become better people. Without messing up sometimes, how would you know what success feels like?

Examples of “Failures” to Learn From

To put things into perspective, Walt Disney filed for bankruptcy and got fired from his job writing for a newspaper. Why? His boss claimed that “he lacked imagination and had no good ideas.” He started numerous businesses afterward that failed. Today, he left behind an empire recognized by people all over the globe.

To give you another example, Albert Einstein didn’t speak until he was four and didn’t read until he was seven. He was eventually expelled from school but became a legendary physicist and philosopher.

Oprah Winfrey got fired from her first job as a television reporter because she was “unfit for TV.” I think it’s safe to say she proved her boss wrong, going on to become one of the most successful women in the world.

J.K. Rowling wrote her first installment of Harry Potter in a coffee shop while trying to raise a child on her own after a recent divorce. She was on welfare, was almost completely broke, and suffered from severe depression on top of that. She kept her eyes on the end goal, though and followed her passions regardless. Due to her perseverance, she is one of the most successful authors in the world today. This strong woman went from being almost penniless to attaining incredible abundance in the form of finances and happiness.

If these stories don’t motivate you to embrace your failures and keep your chin up during life’s struggles…

These quotes will help you see the light again after a failure:

Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising every time we fail.” – Confucious
“Don’t be afraid to fail. Don’t waste energy trying to cover up failure. Learn from your failures and go on to the next challenge. It’s ok to fail. If you’re not failing, you’re not growing.” – H. Stanley Judd
“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” – Michael Jordan
“Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure… than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.” Theodore Roosevelt
“A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.” – Albert Einstein
“The only source of knowledge is experience.” – Albert Einstein
“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.” – JK Rowling
“Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes.” – Mahatma Gandhi
“Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.” – Oscar Wilde
“Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.” – Denis Waitley
“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others, you need to accept yourself.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love & affection.” – Buddha
“Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness.” – Eckhart Tolle
“You yourself are the eternal energy of the Universe, you didn’t come into this world. you came out of it. Like a wave from the ocean.” – Alan Watts

Final Thoughts: Your Turn to Share Your Favorite Quotes

What quotes have lifted you up at your lowest point? Share your favorite quotes about overcoming failure in the discussion below!

6 Ways Being Rejected Can Make You a Better Person

July 22, 2015 by Power of Positivity

Initially, being rejected feels like someone just stabbed you in the heart with a knife. Oh, and they didn’t bother to take it out.

According to psychologist Edward Smith from Columbia University, intense emotional pain activates the same neural pathways as physical pain. In other words, rejection can stimulate the same parts of the brain associated with the feelings you get when you stub your toe or spill a hot beverage on your lap.

No one goes out of their way to be rejected. However, it’s an inevitable part of life that we all must deal with at one time or another. Even though it may hurt in the present moment, getting rejected actually comes with some hidden advantages as well.

Here are 6 ways being rejected can actually be good for you:

1. It will enhance your creativity.

A Cornell study from 2012 found that rejection actually bolsters creativity, contrary to popular belief. Participants in the study learned that they could choose who to work with on a team project and later found out that no one picked them. Their results concluded that the participants with the most independence and confidence in their uniqueness dealt with social rejection the easiest.

So, as long as you own the fact that you don’t fit in and you were born to stand out, getting rejected might just push your creativity into overdrive and inspire you to go after that big project you’ve been putting off.

2. You will gain self-confidence.

The more you get rejected, the more apparent it is that other’s opinions of you don’t really matter. As long as you can walk into a room with your head held high and not worry if others will like you or not, getting rejected won’t phase you. In the beginning, rejection can feel like a huge blow to the ego. But over time, you learn the harsh truth that not everyone will like you. After accepting this, you can bounce back much quicker from rejection, and see the value in your own self-worth.

3. You will become more empathetic toward others.

You know how much rejection can hurt, and by going through this yourself, you can better understand other people who have been through the same, or worse, situations. According to a study by researchers from Miami University, people who relive the memories of getting rejected can more easily pick out genuine smiles. They speculate that the rejection encouraged the participants in the study to find a way to become accepted again, and because of this, they can more easily recognize sincerity.

So, rejection can enhance your ability to perceive other people’s emotions and could save you from falling into the same painful trap of exclusion once again.

4. It will give you a chance to improve yourself.

Obviously, you will learn a thing or two about yourself when someone rejects you. Thus, the experience will make you a much more resilient person overall. You could even ask the people who rejected you for some constructive criticism or feedback so that you can determine if you need to work on certain aspects of yourself, or if the person truly just didn’t resonate with you.

Every experience we face can serve as a teacher, and rejection is no exception to this. Take some time to reflect on the experience and figure out what you learned from it, as well as how you can improve as a person. Rejection doesn’t have to break you; it can do just the opposite if you allow it.

5. You won’t spend precious time obsessing over what the other person is thinking or feeling.

Sometimes, you just need to hear the blatant truth from someone in order to completely move on. Whether that means from your boss, your love interest, or your friend, it does no good to speculate and ruminate on someone or something when you could just get the cold, hard truth the first time.

So, when someone rejects you outright, don’t view it as a negative occurrence. Look at it as a positive experience, because they saved you a lot of valuable time that you might have spent mulling over your thoughts or the unhealthy, meticulous scrutiny of others’ feelings.

6. It makes you a more humble and well-rounded person.

Although rejection can make you feel more confident, it also can make you more humble as well. It teaches you that maybe you do have a thing or two you can work on. So by developing yourself further, you become a better person in the process. You see the world through a wider lens. And you learn to understand yourself and others better.

Look at rejection as a wonderful opportunity to humble yourself. You’ll soon realize that you, just like other humans, can’t ever be perfect. You will always disappoint someone, get excluded by someone, and hurt someone. However, that doesn’t mean you can’t learn from your experiences, and learn to love your imperfections, too.

7 Ways to Rebuild Your Life When You’ve Hit Rock Bottom

July 21, 2015 by Power of Positivity

At some point in your life, it will happen. We all end up in the deepest trenches for some amount of time, wondering how we will dig ourselves out and when we will see the light of day again. Let’s face it; this planet is a tough teacher, and sometimes, things just don’t unfold how we expected them to. In fact, sometimes things seem to go in the complete opposite direction, and when one unfavorable thing after another happens, we feel like we can’t catch a break. However, even if you feel buried beneath life’s circumstances and don’t see any way out of the hole you’re in, don’t worry.

“Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.” – J.K. Rowling

The universe always seeks to guide you in a direction that will benefit you the most, and you CAN change the currents and swim back upstream by following these tips:

7 Ways to Rebound from Rock Bottom

1. Figure out what in your life is causing you the most unhappiness.

In order to move forward, you need to stop and think about what sends you backward. You need to figure out what brings you down so you can lift yourself up once again. Make a list if you have to of the things or people that make you feel drained or depressed. Then, you need to decide if you would rather totally eliminate these things from your life, or just put them on the back burner while you focus on getting back on your feet again.

Also, sometimes our own mindset is the culprit, so listen to your thoughts and feelings and figure out what they’re telling you. If your predominant thoughts seem negative, try to transform them into positives by looking at the silver lining in each situation. Often, the hardest lessons are the greatest teachers, and we can either take them in stride and learn from them or dwell on the pain and unfairness of the situation.

2. Start doing small things each day to cultivate more happiness in your life.

A lot of times, we can get caught up in the big picture, not seeing that we can start changing our life by cultivating better habits or rituals. Each day when you wake up, do something that makes you feel unbelievably good, whether that be meditating for five or ten minutes, doing your favorite workout routine, or simply going outside to smell the flowers in your garden.

You will soon see that these small positive changes will bring about big differences in your life, and allow you to climb out of those trenches and shine brightly as the beautiful being that you are.

3. Turn to supportive friends and family for help.

Sometimes, the weight of our problems seems too much to bear alone, so don’t hesitate to reach out to the people who love and care about you. They will happily lend you a helping hand a shoulder to cry on if you need it, because they want to see you thriving once again. Remember, we are all a part of the same whole, so we all have an obligation to help each other when we need it the most.

4. Eliminate the things in your life that cause you stress.

One by one, go down the list of everything that makes you feel stressed and start getting rid of the things that cause you the most anxiety. Even if it’s something small, like throwing your keys down after getting home when you could hang them up to make them easier to find, those bad habits can really create a lot of turmoil when you look at them cumulatively. In order to create better habits and live a more stress-free life, you have to first look at all the unfavorable habits you’ve picked up on over the years.

Or, maybe they aren’t habits, but just people or situations that cause you a lot of distress. Make sure to hone in on what gets your heart racing and your mind in a frenzy and try to either get rid of or modify these things so you can live a more peaceful existence.

5. Repeat the affirmation “I own my life!”

When you have a fearless, confident attitude about life, you become untouchable and unstoppable. You become a relentless and courageous machine that can tackle anything life throws at you in stride, and you won’t feel threatened or burdened by anything you might face. Life can only win if you let it, so don’t allow it to get the best of you. You totally own your life and can transform it into a beautiful masterpiece if you so choose, so make sure to adjust your attitude and follow up with the affirmation above to help bring about the life that you wish to see before you.

6. Follow your passions unabashedly.

Don’t allow life to get in the way of your true passions and desires; work toward your dreams and goals every day, and you will start to see the reality you want to unfold before you. Dreams don’t work unless you do, so instead of coming home after work to watch TV, get to work on your true passions. Take a small step each day toward what lights that fire within your soul, and never stop until you have achieved your dreams.

No one can tell you what kind of life to lead except yourself, and your actions determine what type of reality you will experience. Align your actions with what you want to see more of in your life, and you’ve set yourself up for a world of universal abundance and happiness.

7. Get into a state of “flow,” where your mind won’t have a chance to ruminate on your misfortunes.

Many people who feel they’ve hit rock bottom simply don’t allow themselves to switch off from their problems. They sit and mull over everything wrong in their lives when they would benefit themselves much more by turning their brains off for a while and simply living. Just because you have encountered a roadblock doesn’t mean you can’t take a detour and find something even more beautiful on the new path you’ve taken. In a similar fashion, just because you feel burdened by life doesn’t mean you can’t still do things that make you smile and take your mind off the situation.

Do yoga, exercise, make your favorite dish, or anything else that puts you into a state of action so you don’t fall into the trap of reaction. You won’t have a chance to react to your thoughts if you redirect that energy and give them someplace else to go.

“The only source of knowledge is experience.” – Albert Einstein

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love & affection.” – Buddha

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