7 Ways to Deal with Toxic Attitudes

March 5, 2015 by Power of Positivity

Dealing with difficult attitudes from others is a sure path to patience, compassion and kindness…

The seemingly abundant challenges in the world today breed a lot of angry, self-serving, negative attitudes (unfortunately). Some choose to use the obstacles they face as opportunities to grow and learn, but many take a different route and inflict their bad moods on others. If you aren’t careful, their toxicity can easily get lodged into your own positive thinking mindset – so knowing how to handle these types of people in the best way possible is crucial.

Let’s look at some positive methods of braving others’ inner storms in a way that leaves you out of the crossfire…

Here are 7 positive ways to deal with toxic attitudes:

1. Offer them an ear to listen.

One positive way to challenge volatile behavior is to actually open up a line of communication between you and this person. Who knows what kinds of problems this person faces mentally, physically, or otherwise, and maybe no one gives them the time of day to really talk about their issues. Be that person who combats their anger with compassion, and tells them they have the floor for whatever is bothering them. You might just encourage them to put an end to their struggles and come up with a proactive solution.

Everyone deals with pain differently, and maybe they just need someone to show them how to channel it in a more productive way. Moreover, everyone fights silent battles on a daily basis – you never know what people have endured and for how long, so show a little understanding when you can.

2. Walk away from bad attitudes, if possible.

We know this advice doesn’t really apply in a workplace, but you can still distance yourself from coworkers who continually put out bad vibes. This tip more specifically relates to relationships you have in your life; if your friend, boyfriend, or girlfriend always seems to put you in a bad mood, don’t hesitate to get out of the situation. Everyone goes through tough times, but it indicates a much deeper issue if they can’t go one day without complaining or putting themselves in a victim mentality. Of course, some people suffer from chronic depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, or other mental problems, but this still doesn’t mean they get a free pass to treat you poorly or project their feelings onto you.

If you have tried to help them but they choose to remain in misery, you eventually have to let them deal with their problems on their own terms. You cannot claim responsibility for everyone’s happiness; it’s an inside job.

3. Create some “me time” in your schedule.

Toxic people can drain your energy pretty quickly if you have to endure their company in the workplace or at home. Make sure to take time to re-center yourself and rid your mind of the heavy energies so they don’t make a permanent home in your own energy field. Dealing with these types of people day in and day out can become exhausting, and will really deplete your energy stores after a while. Recuperation and rest matter, especially in the world we live in today.

4. Kindly point out that their behavior hurts others around them.

Some people will take advantage of your kindness and sincerity, unleashing their hostility onto you. Make sure you make them well aware of your boundaries, and don’t walk on eggshells around them just because they can’t seem to reign in their own emotions. Let them know that their poor attitude affects everyone around them, and you won’t tolerate it any longer.

No one should have to consistently deal with conniving, manipulative, or brash behavior, and you should nip it in the bud before people think they can get away with it. Maybe this will get them to change their tune so others will want to be around them more.

5. Remember that how people treat you is their karma.

Sometimes, you just have to keep in mind the laws of the universe, and that negative people will have to face the consequences of their behavior. Everything always comes back full circle, so just remember to treat them with love and compassion, because you have control of your own karma. Others may not be aware of these “divine laws”, or they may not care, but this remains constant: ultimately, how others treat you is out of your hands, so just sit back and watch the universe respond accordingly.

6. Do something to make their day better.

You can either sit there and watch someone struggle or offer to help them up. You always have a choice in the moment, so choose kindness. Choose compassion. Bring them some food on their lunch break if they have piles of work to finish and you know they can’t leave, bake them some cookies and leave them on their desk, or make them a homemade crafty gift to show you care.

This world could use more acts of kindness, and a lot of people are hurting right now – be the person that lifts others up even if they always bring you down. Maybe you can be the one to encourage them to start looking on the brighter side of life.

7. Smile. 🙂

How can someone possibly keep spouting off negative vibes when you meet that energy with a smile? It will immediately put them in a better place of perspective, and remind them that this world still has good people left. Maybe they have a very negative home life and don’t have a lot of emotional support. Maybe they feel neglected or unloved, so spread your love with your smiles. It will even uplift your own mood, and help others around you.

The simple, small act of smiling can create enormous changes in Earth’s energy – use it abundantly!

For the First Time Ever, Evidence of Light as Both Wave and Particle Captured

March 4, 2015 by Power of Positivity

For the first time in history, scientists have captured light behaving as both a particle and a wave. Published recently in Nature Communications, this experiment proves what quantum mechanics tells us about the dual behavior of light. A research team at a prestigious science institute in Switzerland conducted this experiment in an unparalleled way. It used electrons to get a snapshot of light behaving as particles and waves, simultaneously.

To give you a mental image of how they set up the experiment, the scientists pointed a laser light at a small metallic nanowire. That fueled energy to the charged particles inside the nanowire. T particles began to vibrate due to the increase in energy. Then, the light begins to travel inside the wire in two different directions. When the waves generated by the laser collide, they form a new wave called a “standing wave.”

Now, they just needed a way to capture the particles within this standing wave. Luckily, they figured out a clever way to do it. They fired a stream of electrons close to the nanowire, using them as a method of capturing the particles in the wave.

The researchers then used a powerful microscope to observe the electrons either speeding up or slowing down as they interacted with the standing wave of light. This behavior simultaneously demonstrated that light behaves as a particle, as well.

How, you ask?

The electrons fired into the standing wave of light collided with the photon particles that light is made up of. When this occurred, the electrons’ speed dramatically increased or decreased. Then they began appearing as a small exchange of radiant energy between the electrons and photons. This phenomenon of the creation of energy “packets” directly captures the light particles along the nanowire.

Employing the use of ultrafast transmission electron microscopy (UTEM), scientists could finally capture what people have been striving for since the days of Einstein: light existing as both a wave and particles at the same time.

When introduced to light radiation, the particles within the nanowire become “excited,” and the light moving in a back and forth manner resulted in the standing light wave. Capturing the action with an ultrafast microscope enabled scientists to finally prove that light can simultaneously behave as both a particle and a wave through quantum manipulation techniques.

By imaging the energy spectrum of the exchange of electrons and photons. Additionally, it shows the spatial distribution or distance between the light waves. Therefore, scientists can observe complementary aspects of a localized electromagnetic field.

So this experiment successfully manipulates energy on the smallest scale in the dimensions of time and space. Thus, we can make exciting new discoveries about our world and use new knowledge to further our understanding.

By interfering with particles on a quantum level, some scientists say this could even lead to miniaturization in the future.

This observation at the nanoscale opens up the door for future technologies according to Fabrizio Carbone, a leading researcher on the project.

3 Ways to Be More Compassionate

March 1, 2015 by Power of Positivity

“Love and compassion are necessities. Without them humanity cannot survive.” – Dalai Lama

[dropcap]A[/dropcap]s children, hate, violence, apathy, and greed were as foreign to us as having to pay bills just to survive. We played with other children on our street, helped one another when we tripped and fell.. Indeed, we really had no idea about the horrors lurking outside our neighborhoods. We simply did what came naturally to us. And we did not know we would soon become influenced by people not so familiar with basic human compassion. Before the conditions of a largely imbalanced society, we actually operated on kindness, peace, and understanding.

Can we reorient our minds back to a place where we’re living with more love, trust, and compassion in life?

The answer is yes.

Here are 3 ways to be more compassionate to others (and yourself!)

1. Practice Loving Kindness Meditation

If you have practiced or read up on meditation, you know that the act of meditating literally creates new pathways in your brain, and rewires the neurotransmitters already in existence. It allows you to view the world through different lenses, and you can choose from a variety of different meditation practices depending on what you want to achieve. To cultivate a more compassionate brain, psychologists have discovered through many studies that loving kindness meditation can actually increase altruism in people. Yep, that’s right. You can train your brain to become more compassionate through a simple meditation sequence. Even if you have never felt very compassionate in your life, you can actually develop the skill relatively easily.

The study

In the study conducted by Psychological Science, the researchers gave half of the participants a 30 minute audio recording that they listened to once a day for two weeks. The recording was an adaptation of the Buddhist practice of loving kindness meditation. Scientists called it compassion meditation. In the recording, participants were guided to extend compassion to themselves, friends, acquaintances, and anyone they had encountered troubles with.

After the two week period, the participants played an online game intended to calculate their selflessness. The game consisted of three players, one (the participant) who had $5, another who had $10, and a third who had no money. The computer-generated player with $10 was asked to share some of his money, but only gave $1 to the impoverished player. Then, the participant could choose any amount of his $5 to give to the poorest player, and whatever amount he choose would be doubled by the richest player. For example, if the participant decided to part with $2, the wealthiest player would have to give up $4.

The results from the game revealed that people who had received the compassion meditation training spent nearly twice as much as others who received a different type of training designed to get participants to think about a stressful situation in a less distressing way.

Also, the brain activity of the participants reflected the increase in altruism as well. Brain scans revealed that people who underwent the compassion meditation training had heightened activity in neural networks responsible for understanding suffering of others and regulating emotions.

So, practice loving kindness meditation for just thirty minutes a day. Then, you can reap the benefits of this exercise and become a more compassionate person. You can also utilize two other methods to help you foster more empathy towards others.

2. Live More Compassionately

Put what you’ve learned in your meditation practice to good use and fill other people’s lives with more compassion. Not only will it make you feel great to extend kindness to other people, but it will improve their lives as well. Think about it – what if you smiled at a stranger every single day? This would encourage them to smile, and might even change their outlook on the world as well. Ripples create waves, so remember that when you go out in public and notice other people who look worried or stressed.

All of us can offer some sort of help to other people, whether through our words, actions, or smiles. After doing a nice deed for someone on a consistent basis, it will start to become second nature.

3. Listen to Other People More Often

Do you spend time relating to other people and putting yourself in their shoes?

If not, try to really understand your family member or friend who has been going through a rough time, or just needs advice about something. You can relearn compassion in this way by taking the focus off your own struggles for a while. Instead, try giving your attention to someone else in need. Everyone goes through some sort of troubles in life, but you could be the one to relieve some of the stress by simply opening your ears and heart.

Add value to this post with your tips to help grow compassion in the hearts of others. We need it now more than ever!

6 Excuses Holding You Back (And How to Overcome Them)

February 28, 2015 by Power of Positivity

“He that is good at making excuses is seldom good for anything else.” – Benjamin Franklin

Your brain is a conundrum. It contains better processing capability than any supercomputer, yet at times frustratingly impulsive and temperamental. We engage in fleeting and meaningless thought patterns yet are able to concentrate for long durations of time. It is fair to say that the brain is sometimes on ‘autopilot’ – doing its own thing without any voluntary interaction.

Something that the brain does when on ‘autopilot’ is make excuses. While you certainly may not ‘feel’ up to the task, you know that you’re more than capable. Whatever this task may be – studying, cleaning, a project, etc. – you just can’t seem to stop making excuses for bucking down and doing it. In the end, you just feel more frustrated, nothing is accomplished, and the task is still staring you in the face.

Don’t fret. Excuses are just another auto-response generated by that complex circuitry of neural networks called your brain. Let’s examine a few of the more common excuses that may hold you back.

Here are 6 excuses that may be holding you back (and how to overcome them):

1. “I don’t have the time.”

To be fair, many of us are short on time because of work, family, kids, etc. Indeed, this is a legitimate limitation for many of us. This doesn’t mean that all hope is lost, however.

First, consider your priorities. You innately understand that family and work comes first; perhaps followed by housework, school, or something else. What about the remaining time in your day? Understandably, this time is perhaps limited…but it’s still there. Are you taking full advantage of this time, whether its 5 minutes or an hour?

Second, consider the possibilities. Consider the time that you spend on procrastinating, being anxious or absentminded. Instead of using up that hour catching up on your favorite show, can you record it and watch it on the weekend? If your kids demand your attention for something that can wait, will you ask them to occupy themselves for a period of time?

Be creative and don’t underestimate the power of small chunks of time.

2. “I don’t have the ability.”

“Whether you think you can or can’t, you’re right” – Henry Ford

While there may be inherent differences in ability from one person to another, brain research is finding that our brains adapt much faster than previously thought. Neuroplasticity – the changing of neural pathways in the brain due to changes in behavior, environment, thinking, and learning – has shown that it’s possible to evolve intellectually.

You can become smarter, more resilient, and happier while pursuing your dreams. Don’t allow the illusion that you’re somehow incapable of achieving the goals that you’ve set for yourself.

3. “I’m just too busy.”

As with “not enough time”, this is an excuse that has some legitimacy. As a society, we’re overworked and overscheduled, distracted and off-balance. We’re not here to challenge this fact – doing so would be dishonest.

Not only is this excuse counterproductive, it induces unnecessary stress. The constant feeling of busyness directly increases our stress levels. We can only increase the stress hormone cortisol before it initiates a “fight or flight” response. Over a period of time, this leads to a state of chronic stress. Busyness often manifests itself in other ways as well – bad concentration and memory, impulsive behavior, lethargy, headaches, and feelings of malaise.

The solution is to simply be present. Concentrate on one thing at a time. When you have angry or impulsive thoughts, simply allow them to fade.

4. “I don’t have the money.”

The truth is that money is simply a tool; a method of exchange. However, economic statistics continue to show that wages continue to flatten while the cost of living increases – this can certainly become a problem.

There exists a movement called minimalism, where one lives with the basic necessities of life and nothing more. Minimalism is not well known in the Western world because of the materialistic consumerism mentality to economics that has permeated our society.

But the fact of the matter is that we don’t need to live this way. Study after study continues to show that material possessions and the accumulation of money do not correlate to happiness. Perhaps this is because we become susceptible to the lies that success equals money and money equals possessions.

The first step involves making the conscious decision to not live beyond your means. The second step is to determine what constitutes a want versus a need. You need food, water, shelter and electricity. You want the flat-screen TV, luxury car, cable package and cell phone. The third step involves minimizing or eliminating the wants in your life.

Of course, whether or not minimalism is a desired lifestyle is completely your choice. There is nothing wrong with having nice things in moderation. Rather, it is the constant desire to buy and have more that creates unnecessary and toxic excess.

5. “It’s too late…”

It’s too late to pursue my education.

It’s too late to change careers.

It’s too late to fall in love.

It’s too late to start my own business.

It’s too late to leave an impact on the world.

The great writer Richard Bach once said:

“Here is a test to find out whether your mission on earth is finished: if you’re alive, it isn’t”

As a prior college counselor, I had the distinct honor and privilege to interact with people interested in pursuing their education. From recommending and enrolling in courses to watching students walk across the stage to receive their diploma, the experience was touching.

One such student was Robert Titus, a former salesman from Houston, who received his Marketing degree at the age of 80. His reason for this was simple: he promised his mother a long time ago that he’d achieve a college degree.

Whether your goal is a college degree, writing a novel, traveling the world or something else, the only limitations are the ones that we place on ourselves. If there is still air in your lungs and desire in your heart, there is no reason to stop.

6. “I’m too tired.”

It’s impossible to examine this excuse without thinking about time and busyness – excuses two and three on this list. After all, if we didn’t feel busy or deprived of time, we’d have no reason to be tired. As with time and busyness, there is some merit to the fact that we get indeed feel lethargic from time to time.

You must simply inspect your daily activities and what is causing tiredness. Are you rushing throughout the day from one place to another? Are you getting adequate amounts of sleep (minimum 7-8 hours)? Are you staying out or going to bed late during the weekdays? All of these reasons – along with a multitude of others – will undoubtedly result in fatigue.

The solution is making some lifestyle changes to counteract this tendency. Stress or poor time management are likely the culprits, both of which are easily rectified. Make it a priority to feel energized throughout the day by discarding the bad habits that lead to tired feelings. Try to implement a short nap into your day for some added benefit.

Break free from these excuses right now. Make the declaration “I release the roadblocks to my abundance. I am victorious!”

Share your victories in the discussion below!

11 Warning Signs You’re in Bad Company

February 28, 2015 by Power of Positivity

Do you find yourself in bad company? It’s more harmful than you might think.

Other people have a significant impact on our lives. The people we spend time with can change our mood, how we spend our time, and change our perspective on the world – even ourselves. This is why it’s essential to invest in relationships that are beneficial to you, with people who support you as you are and even help you to become better.

Sometimes this means being critical about who you spend time with and who you invest your emotions in.

Sometimes it can be difficult to tell if a relationship has become toxic. Once we’re invested in a relationship, whether it’s with a friend, significant other, or family member, we’re reluctant to pull away. Our feelings, particularly when we think we need someone, cloud our judgment. Even if the effects are obvious to others, you may not fully realize the negative impact someone is having on you. Even worse, you may blame yourself and rationalize the other person’s behavior.

You’ll always be better on your own than with someone who only brings negativity to your life. If you often find yourself unhappy, not confident, and stressed around a particular person, you need to ask yourself if that person is truly good company. Look out for the 11 following warning signs that you’re in bad company. Ending relationships that produce these signs can help you to be your best self and live a happier life.

11 Signs You’re In Bad Company:

1. You don’t feel like yourself

A toxic relationship can be draining in many ways, and one of the most damaging is when it drains you of your authentic self. If someone wants you to be someone else, then they don’t truly care for you as the person you are. If you constantly feel pressure to change things about yourself or suppress your natural interests to please someone, they are not a healthy person to be around.

2. They are overwhelmingly negative

There’s nothing wrong with some complaints or sarcastic jokes, but be wary of friends who never take a break from being negative. Are they constantly insulting others (or you)? Do you feel like you have to be negative too in order to get along with them? Negative people are often projecting their problems onto the world around them. If this is a close friend, you may choose to help that person work through their problems and regain a more balanced perspective.

Make sure you never let someone else’s negativity alter your perspective, though. If you need to, give yourself some space from this person.

3. They don’t make time for you

A good relationship requires regular interaction and some effort from both sides. A friend or romantic partner who doesn’t make time for you isn’t providing either of those. If someone can only fit you into their schedule when it’s convenient for them, they’re not making you a priority. You shouldn’t need to make an effort or sacrifice time for someone who will no effort for you.

4. It’s all about them

When you have conversations with this person, are they balanced? Do they listen to your feelings and opinions? If a person only wants to talk about themselves and has no empathy for your feelings, they’re not really in a relationship with you; they just want a sounding board. You’re probably not getting anything out of this kind of relationship.

5. They’re unsupportive

A good friend or partner will support you in your goals and be happy for you when you succeed. If they don’t seem to care about your achievements or, even worse, if they downplay things that are important to you, you’re probably in bad company.

A good friend will share in your excitement and pride, and they’ll encourage you to keep doing great things.

6. They’re always envious of you

There’s a difference between praising good things you have or that you’ve done and acting envious. If a friend acts jealous without actually seeming happy for you, they can make you feel guilty instead of happy about positive things and experiences. This is a toxic behavior that will add negativity to your life.

7. They’re possessive of you

In a good relationship, whether it’s with a friend, family member, or significant other, the other person will want you to lead a full and rich life in which you try new experiences and broaden your horizons. When someone else becomes possessive of you and your time, they’re not doing that. In fact, possessiveness is one of the top signs of a toxic relationship.

If they don’t want you spending time with other people and are constantly suspicious of other relationships, there’s a strong chance that you should be ending that relationship.

8. They lie to you

Trust is an important element of a healthy relationship. If someone repeatedly lies to you, they’re violating your trust and disrespecting your relationship. They may also be covering up something about themselves. There’s no need for you to continue giving your trust to someone who has repeatedly violated it.

9. They manipulate you

Some people are very perceptive and know how to manipulate you to do what they want. They may only be kind to you when they need something, they may make you feel guilty so that you help them, or they may even emotionally blackmail you. If you notice that you’re doing things you don’t actually want to do for someone else, this is a toxic relationship.

10. They’re a bad influence

Someone who pushes you to try new things and grow as a person can be a great friend. However, that shouldn’t be confused with someone who pushes you to make choices that you aren’t comfortable with. After you’ve done something at the urging of a friend, ask yourself: “Am I glad I did that?” “Did I feel comfortable?” “Was that something that fit my morals and beliefs?” If you find yourself answering “no” to those questions, then your friend is likely a bad influence.

You should never let someone pressure you or guilt-trip you into making bad choices or doing things that aren’t comfortable for you. If your friend can’t respect your right to make your own choices, then they’re bad company.

11. You feel exhausted around them

A toxic relationship can take a lot out of you. You may feel constantly on edge around that person, and you may feel relieved when they leave. This is because in a toxic relationship, you often have to make a constant effort to please that person, and you likely feel like you can’t relax and be yourself. If this is the case, you need to listen to your feelings and recognize that being around this person isn’t good for you.

5 Techniques to Quiet Your Mind

February 27, 2015 by Power of Positivity

In many ways, the uncontrolled mind resembles a five-year-old child wanting to run amok through the city streets, only able to sit still for a few seconds before jumping up again. If you allow your brain to run a mile a minute without interjecting, it will only press on with the madness until you discover that your mind has slowly become a prison.

“Peace does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. Peace means to be in the midst of all those things and still be calm in your heart.” – Unknown

However, you can actually free your mind, even if it seems impossible in the beginning. Humans are very adaptable creatures, and pick up on new habits throughout their lives. So, in this way, our brains become rewired because we have installed a new operating system in our minds: chaos. To create a peaceful mind, you just need to revert back to your original nature of harmony and balance.

Sound difficult? Well, here are some effective techniques to help you regain control of your mind again.

5 techniques to quiet the mind:

1. Focus on the positive aspects of yourself and your surroundings.

In short, we have collectively created the mass disorder and confusion we observe around us daily with our thoughts. We have all allowed negative thinking to prevail for many millennia, so the physical world is merely a product of our thoughts. By simply shifting your focus to what makes you happy or what you’re thankful for, you can start to retrain your mind to think more positively. Consequently, you will start to feel more peaceful since you no longer emphasize the negativity you perceive within yourself and elsewhere.

Remember, energy flows where attention goes – you can achieve peace by creating awareness behind your thoughts.

2. Repeat peaceful words to yourself throughout your day.

Pay attention to your brain at this very moment…what kinds of thoughts do you observe? Most likely, you will notice that most of your thoughts center around what you have to do today, what someone said that made you angry, or even degrading thoughts about yourself. Don’t feel bad, though; maintaining a consistent positive mindset isn’t always easy with so much negativity around us. However, you can counter negative, stress-inducing thoughts with simple, peaceful words.

Anytime you feel a bout of anxiety coming on, introduce calming words into your awareness, such as: Tranquil. Calm. Peaceful. Serenity. Light. Love. Relaxing. Breeze. Beach. The last two words in the sequence describe scenery, which you can do as well if it makes you feel peaceful. Words carry a lot of meaning and power, so use them to your advantage whenever you feel stressed out.

3. Meditate on a regular basis.

We suggest meditation a whole lot on our website, but for good reason. When you meditate, you stop the flow of thoughts bombarding your consciousness every second, and instead move into space where stillness takes precedence. While you don’t have to turn off your brain to meditate, many people feel that their thoughts slow down incredibly, and they can observe themselves much easier with controlled breaths and closed eyes. Meditation simply brings awareness into the body and makes it much easier to cope with daily challenges.

If you want to cultivate more peace in your mind and life, start meditating, or sitting quietly focusing on nothing but your breath for at least ten minutes a day on a daily basis. You will find that adopting a more peaceful mindset becomes much more attainable.

4. Live in the here and now.

Forget about the errands you have to run tomorrow after work, the bills you must pay next week, or the uncertainty of your future that you haven’t even gotten to yet. When you let thoughts like these ruminate, it can cause great dis-ease within the body and even lead to anxiety, depression, chronic stress, and other serious problems. Most anxiety is caused by simply living in a time other than the one we have right now, so bring yourself back to the present whenever you feel your thoughts taking you elsewhere.

By allowing yourself to flow from one moment to the next, just as you did as a child, you will recapture what it means to feel true peace.

5. Leave the city for a while and reconnect with nature.

This could mean going on your lunch break in a nearby park or going on a vacation to escape the stress of daily life. Anything you can do to strengthen your bond with nature will greatly benefit your mind, and help you remember that we create most stress we feel in our mind and body.

We originated in a pure harmony, and most of what we see around us is just a persistent illusion. Remember that nature doesn’t struggle through life, and you don’t have to. Don’t get too caught up with the trivial matters of the material world, because you won’t find peace in numbers or possessions.

Truthfully, peace resides within your heart already, but Mother Earth can help you remember this by providing solace from the strains of modern society.

“There’s no Wi-Fi in the forest, but I promise you will find a better connection.” – Unknown

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