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15 Signs That You Met Your Dream Woman

December 14, 2022 by Chris Butler

Everything seems perfect when you’re first starting your relationship. There are no arguments, and you’re already planning your future. Sadly, matters of the heart are tricky, and you may wonder if the lady you’re with is your dream woman or soulmate.

Sure, she spends time with you, returns your phone calls, and makes date night a priority, but does she truly love you? Do you see her as the person you will spend the rest of your life with by your side?

Fifteen Signs That Indicate a Dream Woman

You love spending time together, you’ve met her friends and family members, and she’s declared her undying love to you. Still, if you’re wondering if the lady who stole your heart is the one, you may be with her forever. Sometimes there are clear indications, and other times there are some signs that aren’t obvious. Here are fifteen clues that she’s the one.

Note: We acknowledge that women are also searching for the ideal partner, and we share the signs of a dream man in a companion article. Why two articles? Because the behaviors of males and females–which can sometimes overlap–also display some differences.

1. Your Dream Woman Is Vulnerable With You

There’s no one alive who doesn’t have a few skeletons in their closet, as everyone makes mistakes. However, she feels so safe with you and your relationship that she can tell you anything. There are no secrets between you because you’re both free to talk openly without judgment.

Brigham Young University did a special piece on vulnerability in relationships. They demonstrated that many people close themselves off for fear of being hurt or rejected again. However, they further state that you can’t develop the deep, meaningful relationships you desire without it.

2. A Soulmate Wants Your Opinion

It’s nice to be valued and to have someone care what you think about situations. When a lady asks you to give input into her life, it’s likely because she sees you in her future. The decisions she makes affect you too. She may be looking for you to pop the question.

3. She Laughs at Your Jokes

If you’re a jokester, you probably have a few people who give you strange looks when you tell a joke. You know that feeling that the whole world is staring at you, and no one is laughing? However, your dream woman laughs with you and gets you on a level no one else does.

4. A Dream Woman Says “We” Instead of “I”

When your lady starts thinking that you’re her future, she will use the word “we” rather than “I.” Though she might not say she wants you forever, she can use verbiage indicating her thoughts.

Using the term “we” indicates she wants a long-term commitment. She sees you as a team and can’t imagine her tomorrow without you.

5. Your Soulmate Sees Her Money as Yours

She’s becoming so comfortable with the idea that you’re connected that she sees your money as joined. She’s a dream woman when she shares her finances with you and sneaks in little hits about future savings.

6. You Like to Do Things Together

The old saying that opposites attract is true to a certain point. How can you enjoy spending time together if you don’t like to do the same things? If she’s your dream woman, she will watch football with you, and you’ll watch reality TV with her. You learn about give and take because you want to be together. You enjoy each other’s company no matter what you’re doing.

7. A Dream Woman Pampers You

It doesn’t matter your age; everyone loves to be pampered. She goes out of her way to do the little things that make you feel special. She’s the girl that will make your favorite meal because you had a bad day.

She won’t hesitate to show up at your job to hug you when the world seems to be spinning out of control. She goes above and beyond the call of duty, and you love her for it.

8. A Soulmate Can Handle Your Mood Swings

Some people might be frightened off by their partners when they see them at their worst. However, you know she’s your dream woman when she doesn’t run the other way when you have some challenging moments. Everyone has good and bad days, and it’s learning about those bad days and how to deal with each other’s breakdowns that count.

A relationship where you know everything about the other person, the good, bad, and the ugly, has a real chance of being something that lasts.

9. A Soulmate Calls You Pet Names

Pet names mean that there’s comfort with one another, and she feels things with you are on another level. When you use terms of endearment like honey, sweetie, or babe, you’re telling this person they have a special place in your heart, and using their birth name won’t do.

10. Your Dream Woman Trusts You

Your dream woman isn’t looking over your shoulder whenever a call or text comes to your phone. She knows that you only have eyes for her. She doesn’t call to check up on you, and she doesn’t play detective with your every move.

Living with a jealous person who has no faith or trust in you is horrible, and it will ruin your relationship as quickly as infidelity. Elisabetta Franzoso is a life coach and counselor who often sees people in her office with trust issues. She speaks about how she suffered abuse and neglect as a child, leading to significant issues.

A true soulmate calls trust the bedrock of your relationship and states that when it’s broken, it comes with baggage. You must learn to unpack your luggage and address the underlying issues to fix this problem. When you put the work into it, change and growth happen.

11. She’s Eager to Call You Her Boyfriend

Guys have a big issue with getting stuck in the friend zone. It’s not a very exciting place to be, as it leaves you in limbo. Thankfully, she was eager to call you her boyfriend from the start, and she has no problems putting the appropriate labels on your association.

12. A Soulmate Changes Her Spending Habits

Some women change their spending habits when they start thinking of their future. If she’s having visions of walking down the aisle as a bride and buying the house with the white picket fence, chances are that she will save money. If you notice that she’s skipping that expensive latte or avoiding the mall, it indicates that she’s got something bigger she’s investing in.

13. She Loves Your Family

Bringing home a partner to meet your parents is a big step. You want everyone to like her and for her to enjoy them in return. You have no worries because your partner consciously tries to get along with your family.

She comes to your parents’ get-togethers and loves to talk and laugh with the whole family. When you’ve found someone who loves your family as you do, you’ve found a treasure you should hold onto. A dream woman might get upset with your family, but she respects you, which makes her hold her tongue.

14. A Dream Woman Believes in You

You want someone who gets all your visions and encourages you when looking for your soul mate. A lady who loves you wants what’s best for you, and she wants to help you accomplish your goals. She will be the biggest cheerleader to push you on to victory, and she’s the first to want to celebrate all the little milestones, no matter how small they may be.

15. Her Friends Are All Married or in Successful Relationships

When considering if you’ve met your soulmate, looking at her friends is always good. If all her friends are married and settling down, there’s a good chance she wants the same thing. Remember that birds of a feather tend to flock together, so she might be old school and want a relationship that lasts for the long haul.

Final Thoughts on Finding Your Dream Woman

Finding the right person to spend your life with takes work. Perhaps you want love, marriage, and a couple of kids running around your home. It takes finding a dream woman to make all these beautiful things happen.

Even if you don’t want all those things, you can find the person and situation best for you. So, does the woman you’re dating fit into the category of a dream woman, or is it time to go fishing to find another fish that better suits your future?

Mauna Loa Erupts for the First Time in Forty Years

December 13, 2022 by Kristen Lawrence

After erupting over two weeks ago for the first time in 40 years, lava flows from the Mauna Loa volcano have started to dissipate. On November 27, the volcano began its eruption, creating an awe-inspiring display that captivated many visitors.

The eruption of Mauna Loa reminds us of nature’s power, beauty, and danger. While the volcano didn’t threaten any homes, its lava flowed less than two miles from a major highway, according to the US Geological Survey. Thankfully, the lava will spare the famous road since flows have slowed down recently.

In an update on Tuesday, December 13, 2022, the USGS officially stated that Mauna Loa is no longer erupting. The only remaining active fissure vent, fissure 3, no longer fed the main lava supply as of December 10. A few days prior, channels from the fissure 3 eruption in the Northeast Rift Zone remained full.

This created fountains of glowing lava and molten rock that cascaded down the enormous mountain. As you might expect, the staggering sight drew spectators from the island and beyond who wanted to witness the rare event. Due to the crowds, officials called on the National Guard to help direct and manage traffic near Mauna Loa.

Officials created a safe overlook for visitors near the Daniel K. Inouye Highway, about two miles from Mauna Loa. The last time the volcano erupted was in 1984 when lava flows crept steadily on the path to Hilo, the largest city on the Big Island.

Thankfully, the lava stopped about five miles from the city center and didn’t cause any significant damage. Lava flows destroyed some power lines and poles, but no lives were lost during the violent eruption.

Mauna Loa Volcano Awakens After Nearly 40 Years

This time, the universe appeared to have more good luck for residents, especially since the smaller volcano near Mauna Loa, Kilauea, began to erupt in 2021. The eruption continued during Mauna Loa’s volcanic activity, rewarding visitors with a unique dual-eruption event.

However, lava flows from Kilauea remained in a small pond near the top and didn’t seep down the sides of the mountain. Both volcanoes are located in Hawaii Volcanoes National Park, which remained open as visitors flocked to watch nature put on a spectacular show. At times, lava from Mauna Loa spewed nearly 200 feet in the air, revealing Earth’s raw power.

Speechless spectators watched from a safe distance as the world’s largest active volcano began to stir after being dormant for four decades. On average, Mauna Loa erupts about once per 3.5 years, making this the longest stretch without any volcanic activity.

However, when magma began flowing underground, it triggered a series of small earthquakes, which created fissures in the Earth. Then, lava started pouring across the caldera and over the sides of the mountain. Some lava spewed hundreds of feet into the air, but most lava fountains measured a few yards tall.

Lava flows in the caldera diminished a day after the initial eruption, but other fissures had opened at high elevations along the Northeast Rift Zone. The longest, most significant lava flow came from fissure 3, spewing sulfur dioxide and other volcanic emissions into the air.

When sulfur dioxide reacts with other compounds in the atmosphere, it can create air pollution called volcanic smog, or vog. During the heightened activity, the USGS warned residents about the potential for airborne health hazards, urging vulnerable groups to stay indoors.

In their latest update, officials said, “sulfur dioxide emissions have decreased to near pre-eruption background levels.” Also, earthquakes and tremors caused by volcanic eruptions have decreased dramatically. In addition, the USGS reduced the Volcanic Alert Level from a watch to an advisory, indicating eruptive activity will likely not return.

However, residents should steer clear of the area since the lava flow will take time to cool.

“The inactive main flow front still glows at a few spots at night and may inch northward very slowly as it continues to settle. The significance of the continuing inflation while the flow field is inactive is not yet clear; it is common for eruptions to wax and wane or pause completely, but none of the eight recorded eruptions from Mauna Loa’s Northeast Rift Zone returned to high eruption rates after those rates decreased significantly,” the geological survey said.

Interesting Facts About Mauna Loa

According to the USGS, the largest active volcano on Earth covers about half of Hawaii Island. It dominates the landscape, taking up about 1900 square miles on land and much more underwater. Scientists believe that in total, Mauna Loa measures about 18,000 square miles. The volcano’s earliest lava flows spewed onto the ocean floor between about 0.6 and one million years ago.

It’s estimated that Mauna Loa first emerged above sea level around 300,000 years ago. Since then, it’s been in a phase of rapid development, especially on the north and west sides. Numerous eruptions have occurred at Mauna Loa since scientists began recording volcanic activity.

However, explosive eruptions are rare because of the shape and components of the volcano. It’s a shield volcano, characterized by gently sloping sides and a broad dome. These types of volcanos contain almost exclusively basaltic lava flows, which are highly fluid and flow steadily rather than viscously.

Final Thoughts on Recent Mauna Loa Eruption

The world’s largest active volcano recently erupted for the first time in nearly 40 years. The rare event drew in residents and tourists from all over the world who wanted to witness nature’s power up close. Lucky bystanders were surprised as they saw nearby Kilauea erupting as well. It was truly a once-in-a-lifetime event. Volcanic activity at Mauna Loa continued for over two weeks before it dissipated on Tuesday, December 13, 2022.

Anyone who had the opportunity to see the eruption firsthand won’t soon forget the magnificence of Mother Earth. Have you ever seen a volcano erupting? Let us know in the Facebook comments!

3 Ways to Heal from Domestic Trauma

December 13, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

If we lived in an ideal world, no one would ever go through domestic trauma. But unfortunately, relationships aren’t all filled with love and respect. Sure, it’s normal that couples go through rough patches. But there’s a difference between that and having a partner who belittles and abuses you. While all abuse is wrong, having an abusive partner might be the most complicated situation to walk away from.

Technically, if a family is abusive, the child can grow up and eventually move away and start building a better life. If a boss is abusive, you can eventually get another job and start working in a better environment. But, if your partner is abusive, things don’t always have a clear way out. Don’t get things twisted; no form of abuse is easy to walk away from.

Kids depend on their parents financially. The same goes for employees depending on their job to pay the bills. Still, domestic trauma can destroy everything about a person. The bigger issue is that there are still a lot of misconceptions about domestic abuse. For instance, most people don’t believe women can domestically abuse men.

But that’s nothing more than a misconception. And there are many other things people don’t understand about domestic trauma. Which is why many victims don’t even realize they are victims. So how can you identify domestic abuse, and what steps can you take to heal your heart from this trauma?

What is Domestic Trauma?

Domestic abuse is such a big issue that even the UN has entire articles dedicated to understanding what it is and providing people with the resources to leave their abuser. According to the UN, domestic abuse, or domestic violence, is a behavior pattern used to gain and maintain power or control over a romantic or intimate partner.

According to them, anyone can be a victim of domestic abuse, regardless of age, gender, sexual orientation, or other factors. Not only that, but people outside of the relationship can be victims. For example, kids whose parents are in an abusive relationship are likely to experience trauma because of the behaviors they are exposed to.

The trickier thing is labeling what is and what isn’t abuse. Usually, people get this part wrong and either leave out abusive behaviors or put in behaviors that aren’t. Plus, there seems to be this misconception that something isn’t abuse unless it leaves a physical mark. So, way too many people think that an abuser is someone who beats up their partner.

But domestic trauma can be mental, physical, emotional, financial, or sexual. It doesn’t have to leave a bruise. So to consider that the only kind of abuse is the physical one is wrong. The other types of abuse can do just as much, if not more, damage. Often, the scars that are hardest to heal are the ones people can’t even see.

Trauma and Self-Esteem

Because abuse is about power, it often starts by chipping away at someone’s self-esteem bit by bit. You might be in what seems like the perfect relationship, but sometimes you have to deal with little quips from your partner. They might make fun of you in front of people you care about, and not in a teasing way, but in a mean way. They might put you down and diminish your accomplishments. They might demand to know where you are and who you are with.

These are all things people make excuses for at first. You don’t want to believe your partner is abusive, so you’ll say they make fun of you because that’s their sense of humor. Or they aren’t diminishing your accomplishments; instead, they are trying to humble you. But then, the abuse slowly starts getting worse. Finally, they might begin to use physical force.

They might start gaslighting and manipulating you all the time. Maybe they’ll use the money to keep you from leaving by making you financially dependent on them. And, when the abuse gets bad, it’s usually not limited to just one area. Instead, you’ll likely experience all types of abuse, from physical to sexual and financial abuse. But, by then, most people think that their life is normal, and they start making excuses for every misstep their partner makes.

If you ever feel scared, pressured, and afraid to leave your partner, those are all signs you are experiencing abuse. You should never feel like you deserve a terrible life or that changing yourself is the only way to change something in your relationship. Sure, couples fight even in the healthiest relationships. But that doesn’t mean you should ever feel like you’re in real danger or stuck in the relationship.

3 Ways to Heal Your Heart from Domestic Trauma

1. Break the Cycle of Domestic Trauma

Of course, you can’t heal from domestic trauma unless you break out of the abusive cycle. And this will always be a seemingly impossible task. But, with the proper support, it can be done. The first thing you need to do is identify that you are in an abusive situation. If you recognize any of the patterns of behavior described above in your partner, or if you feel scared and stuck, you are most likely being abused.

Once you understand and accept that, you can start the path to recovery. Just beware that the behaviors from above barely scratch the surface, so you need to research. Of course, sometimes, your partner monitors your online history. If you’re scared of them finding out about your research, you can use a computer from a public library or a friend’s computer.

The next step is to reach out to people who can support you. Unfortunately, many abusers isolate their partners from friends and family, so you might feel like you have no one. Even in that case, there are NGOs and other resources you can use that have volunteers ready to assist you in such situations. Still, your best bet is to reach out to family or old friends. Given your case, they’ll likely help you however they can.

Find an alternate living situation if you are living with your abuser, and make sure you cut them off completely. Block them on all social media and their number, and try to avoid them as much as possible so that they can’t manipulate you into going back. It always helps to talk to a specialist so they can guide you through this process. This is the first step you can take for your mental health and overall well-being.

2. Share Your Experiences

After finding a safe environment to live in, you need to start going over everything that’s happened to you. Sure, you might need some time to adjust to your new life and get used to not having that person in your life. Not to say that it can be excruciating to talk about the abuse you’ve been through, as that would mean relieving every horrible detail.

But you can’t heal from domestic abuse without processing what you’ve been through. And sharing your story is one of the best options you have. Whether you share your experiences with friends, families, or a therapist, it doesn’t matter as long as you open up. That doesn’t mean you have to do it as soon as you end the relationship.

But don’t wait forever. A few weeks is the most you can usually afford to wait before sharing. Then, as you talk through what happened, you can start seeing things more objectively. Most people paint their abuser as being a misunderstood person who had their reason for doing everything.

But, with the help of the people who’ll listen to you, you can figure out that’s not the case. And that’s a great step towards processing and reframing the whole situation. Plus, you can establish the necessary boundaries when you start sharing your story.

3. Practice Self-Compassion

Abuse is dangerous because it destroys people’s self-perception. It can make even the strongest person submissive and turn the most confident person into someone struggling with self-esteem. Most victims end up believing that they deserve everything that happened to them.

This is why they don’t feel like they deserve to heal even after escaping an abusive situation. They might even refuse help altogether because they don’t want to feel like a burden. If you are a victim of such an experience, you must practice self-compassion. Self-compassion is about being kind and empathetic with yourself. It means that whenever you feel like blaming yourself for what happened, you take a step back and reframe that thought.

It might be easier to keep blaming yourself than to accept that the person you loved was despicable, but you need to stop yourself from doing that. Sometimes, it helps to write down all the negative impressions you have about yourself and then rewrite them in a positive way. Be mindful of your experiences and cut yourself some slack. Take the time to process and let people help you.

Final Thoughts on Ways to Heal Your Heart from Domestic Trauma

Domestic abuse is the worst thing that someone can go through in a romantic relationship. And it takes a toll on your mental health that can seem impossible to fix. Not to mention that some people don’t even know they are being abused. And even if they know, it can seem like there’s no way out. But, with the right help and resources, you can escape such a situation and heal from domestic trauma.

First, you need to build up the courage to get out. Then, reach out to people willing to help and find available resources. If you have a safe place to stay, cut all ties with your abuser. You can start putting your life back together as soon as you do that. As soon as you’re ready, you need to start sharing your story so that you can process everything.

Plus, this can help you reconnect with people while also enforcing boundaries. The next step is to practice self-compassion and forgive yourself for what you’ve been through. Lastly, you need to remember that there’s no shame in seeking professional help. The sooner you start seeing a therapist, the faster you can heal.

6 Times It’s Okay NOT to Fix a Relationship

December 12, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

In today’s world of quick dating, long lists of ex-partners, and “disposable” relationship mentalities. Those who find someone special know how to fix a relationship and may put every effort into ensuring the flourishing of that relationship. That’s a beautiful thing!

But sometimes, a relationship that has potential needs to be brought to an end. We must remember that relationships should make us happy, not drag us down. Learning when to break up with a partner is an integral part of taking care of yourself; sometimes, that’s the breath of fresh air you need. Here are six times it’s okay not to fix a relationship.

1. If Your Dynamic Is Unbalanced and Unhealthy, Don’t Fix a Relationship

A relationship’s dynamic must be healthy and positive overall to be a happy partnership. Issues with the balance between partners can break a relationship to the point where there’s no way to fix it. Here are some signs that this is happening to your relationship:

· You Feel Like Expressing Needs Makes You Needy

You cannot tell your partner what you want in the relationship because you feel needy, clingy, or like “too much” for asking for it. There’s nothing healthy that can come from a dynamic like this one. It’s a severe communication breakdown, and you’ll ultimately be unhappy.

· You Break Up To Make Up To Break Up Again

The dynamic of breaking up and getting back together indicates that some issues in your relationship might never get resolved. This is even worse if one party keeps insisting on keeping the relationship together while the other keeps leaving. Ultimately, this pattern won’t end until something changes. Indeed, it’s unlikely that anything good will come of it. There might not be any point in fixing a relationship like this.

· If You Feel Bad Around Your Partner, Then Don’t Fix a Relationship

Your partner is someone who you should feel good around. If being around them drains you, makes you feel uncomfortable or sad, or feels “off,” it’s time to end things.

· You Don’t Feel Supported In Bad Times

When you’re happy, and everything’s good, you feel loved. But the second you go through a rough time in your life, your partner seems to be distant. You don’t have their support when you truly need it and when it matters most. That’s not a partnership you want to keep.

· There’s Too Much Pressure To Change

All relationships require change and growth on a personal level from each partner. And there are, of course, some negative behaviors that do require change and are necessary for a healthy relationship. But if both parties in a relationship feel unreasonable pressure to change something that isn’t crucial to a partnership, that’s a toxic dynamic that must end.

· You Only Feel Good When You’re Together

A codependent attachment can mean you only feel happy with your partner. You become overly dependent on each other to an unhealthy degree, born from an insecure attachment style. These relationships are toxic and can harm you if not fixed or ended.

2. Don’t Fix a Relationship Once Conflict Is No Longer Constructive

Conflict is part and parcel of any relationship, but for it to be constructive, something productive has to come out of it. You and your partner have to handle and navigate conflict positively without communication breakdown.

Once conflict stops being constructive, there may not be a way to fix a relationship. You need to hash things out healthily and handle disagreements with either compromise or positivity. Here are signs of unconstructive conflict that means it’s time for things to come to an end:

· Non-Stop Fighting Might Mean It’s Okay Not to Fix a Relationship

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see that non-stop fighting is a terrible sign for a relationship. Serious, continual, constant conflict creates an environment of chaos that is unstable and unhealthy. These types of relationships are best left behind.

· Constant Defensiveness

Defensiveness is a terrible sign for a relationship’s longevity, yet it’s widespread. To resolve issues, partners must be willing to put down their walls, accept accountability, and listen to each other with the goal of respect and understanding. Overly defensive partners change the narrative, making it so that they’re always the victim of perceived wrongdoing by the other party. It’s just not healthy.

· No More Fighting At All

The Gottman Institute, which is home to experts in relationships, explains that a complete lack of conflict can be a negative sign. It can mean communication breakdown, where both partners no longer feel like resolving problems or bringing up issues. They may think that there’s no point or that they no longer want to fix a relationship at all, in which case that’s a sign of the end.

3. Don’t Fix a Relationship if Your Priorities Don’t Match Up

Partners in a relationship have to be somewhere on the same page. This means having similar priorities for each other and the future. If these priorities aren’t in line, that can spawn negativity and damage a relationship. It’s not easy to willingly change preferences, too, so if that doesn’t seem to be happening, it may be best not to fix a relationship. This may occur in the following ways.

· You’re No Longer Each Other’s Priority

A long-term, committed relationship requires that both parties consider each other a priority. If you feel like you need to compete with your partner’s friends, family members, work, or hobbies for their attention, it might be time for things to draw to a close.

· You’re Not Willing To Compromise

When two unique individuals come together, there are bound to be moments where there can’t be actual win-win situations. Both parties must be willing to compromise now and then or make reasonable, balanced sacrifices. If neither of you is willing to do that, or if only one person ever does, the relationship may be better off dead.

· Your Goals Don’t Align

Before you even get into a long-term relationship with someone, you should both be on a similar page about the future. This is especially true for having kids, future home locations, and other similar subjects. If you reach a point where these goals no longer line up feasibly, it’s okay not to fix a relationship. You will both be happier when you can follow your dreams!

4. Don’t Fix a Relationship Once There’s No More Respect

A healthy relationship cannot exist without respect. If you or your partner have lost respect for each other, you shouldn’t try to fix a relationship, as there’s no foundation to fix anything on. Signs of a lack of concern may be as follows:

· There’s Constant Criticism

Occasional constructive criticism and communication about problems are acceptable. Constant, non-stop negativity over every small thing is not. It shows that you don’t respect each other and don’t love each other for who you are. There’s not much point in trying to fix a relationship filled with this type of feedback.

· It’s Not Possible To Agree To Disagree

Respecting a partner also means respecting their values and opinions, even when disagreeing. Trying to sway each other to see things your way is unlikely to end well. Instead of trying to fix a relationship where you don’t have these core things in common, seek partners with similar values to you where it matters.

· If There’s Contempt, Don’t Fix a Relationship

Contempt in a relationship is the surest sign that things should be over. Hatred, resentment, and actively seeking to harm the other or taking pleasure in their pain means it’s time to call it quits. What kind of a relationship even is that?

5. Don’t Fix a Relationship If You Have an Abusive Partner

Toxic relationships are already bad enough for partnerships that shouldn’t be fixed. There’s something so dangerous about the self-perpetuating cycle of toxic partners coming together, fueling each other’s negativity. Thus, you may develop a codependent relationship.

However, things get even worse when one or both partners are abusive. In many cases, one abusive individual in a relationship maintains an envelope of control over the other. They can keep their partner in the relationship by promising to change, love-bombing, or convincing their partner that nothing is wrong.

The fact of this matter is simple. It would help if you did not try to fix an abusive relationship. If you determine that your partner is abusing you, you should make plans to leave as quickly as possible. Once someone has escalated their negative behavior to abuse, they cannot work through those issues safely. Get out and seek help.

6. You Don’t Feel The Same Anymore

We often have an idea of breakups that involve explosive screaming matches, cheating partners, deception at every corner, and dramatic slammings of doors. But, in reality, sometimes a relationship runs its course with an odd sort of peace. You both change, grow, and realize that you’re no longer in love.

Partners who have been together for a long time may try to work through this difficulty, but it’s also okay to decide to end things calmly. Here are some signs that you don’t feel the same, and it may be time to call it quits:

· You Don’t Laugh Together Anymore

Humor exists in varying levels in different relationships, but laughing together is a part of most healthy partnerships. It’s a sign that you bring each other happiness and joy. The relationship may have run its course when you can no longer laugh together.

· You Try Not To Spend Time Together

Different couples have different commitments, so not everyone has the same time to spend together. But what matters, at the day’s end, is that you carve out time to be together, even if it’s just for an hour each night. A little distance in a relationship isn’t unusual sometimes, but you should still be getting together. If you keep avoiding your partner and don’t want to spend time with them, that’s a huge sign that things need to end. Once you start making excuses to stay away, you know it’s over, and that’s okay.

· You Don’t See A Future Together Anymore

Many couples indeed need time to figure out their desired shared future correctly. Things only start going downhill when you start imagining a future without them. If you’ve stopped wanting to grow together and can’t imagine being in each other’s lives after a few years, breaking up is your best option.

Final Thoughts On Some Times It’s Okay To Not To Fix A Relationship

You can’t save every relationship. Nor are you necessarily obligated to work on a partnership that has caused you a lot of pain. If you’d like to seek help with your partner, counseling and therapy on both individual and couples levels can help. But, at the same time, there’s wisdom in knowing when it’s time to let go.

5 Traumas That Make Someone Feel Unlovable

December 11, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

Feeling unlovable is something that way too many people experience. Even though virtually everyone deserves love, not all people feel that way. Arguably, serial killers, physical abusers, and criminals are the only ones who genuinely don’t deserve to be loved. But even then, some people will love them even though they did what they did. So why do friendly, kind, and ordinary people believe they are unloved? Well, that usually happens because of their upbringing and trauma.

No one is born with the ingrained belief that they aren’t worthy of love. Someone or something instills this belief in them. A bad family history or a family who does not show affection can do that to you. But those aren’t the only traumas that can make someone believe that. After all, self-worth is challenging to maintain and build in a person.

And, once someone’s self-worth starts to chip away, it can be tough to rebuild. Even if you didn’t have an abusive childhood and your parents weren’t toxic, many other environmental factors will make you feel unlovable. So, if you find it hard to love yourself, you need to understand what made you feel that way to start healing from that issue.

5 Traumas That Make Someone Feel Unlovable

1. Physical Abuse Cause the Fear of Being Unlovable

One of the major traumas that can make someone feel unlovable is going through physical abuse. Unfortunately, many people don’t realize it, but the worst part about being physically abused isn’t that you get bruises and wounds. If you were physically abused as a child, you might have scars to prove it. Indeed, those scars will stay with you for the rest of your life.

But people get over having visible scars. Day by day, they become easier to look at. Or they fade until you can’t see them anymore. But physical abuse leaves scars that can’t be seen and hurt much more than any hit. And those scars are the emotional ones. So physical abuse is something that shouldn’t happen to anyone ever.

But, as research shows, it significantly affects kids. And it’s that much more harmful when parents or other family members inflict it. That’s because they are the people who are supposed to care the most about you and always make you feel safe. If you’ve lived through such a toxic childhood, you probably struggle with feeling unlovable as an adult.

Most people grow up believing the abuse they received was their fault. It’s so inhumane to hit another human being that the only logical explanation a victim can come up with is that they are less than human. They don’t deserve to be cared for or regarded as human beings.

And those thoughts are what shape how you look at yourself for the rest of your life. Even if it’s not your toxic parents who treat you that way and it’s an abusive partner instead, the effects are the same. So, you’ll always struggle with feeling unworthy of love unless you can process this trauma.

2. Emotional and Psychological Abuse Make Someone Feel Unloved

No matter what kind of abuse you experience throughout your life, it will leave some marks. These experiences will shape you forever and make you feel inadequate or unlovable. And it’s hard to tell which type of abuse scars someone more. And it would be a waste of time to try and compare. Plus, there’s no objective way to quantify how much the victim is affected.

Some people are scarred forever because of things that others could somewhat manage. But it’s important to remember that everyone is entitled to react to abuse in their way. Unfortunately, emotional and psychological abuse is much more common than physical abuse. And that’s because most people believe it is not abused if it doesn’t leave a bruise.

Also, this type of abuse is most commonly done by parents and directed at their young kids. That’s because of the power imbalance that makes parents feel entitled to be harsh, punish their kids, gaslight and manipulate them, and otherwise abuse them. Sadly, most people don’t realize they are emotionally and mentally abusive, not even when it’s spelled out for them.

Here’s an example of this abuse:

Say you are a parent, and you decide to punish your child. For example, you might feel entirely within your rights to take the door from their room away from them or forbid them to leave the house for weeks. And these things may seem completely normal to you, but they might make the kid feel like they don’t deserve to be understood and treated nicely.

It can make them feel like all they do is mess up and they aren’t even worthy of fundamental human rights, such as privacy and freedom. But you don’t have to experience this type of abuse during childhood for it to leave scars. If someone abuses you like that as an adult, it might make you feel unloved.

3. Childhood Neglect Make People Feel Unloved

Childhood neglect is ultimately an example of psychological abuse. But it deserves to be addressed separately because of how common it is and how much it can destroy how someone views themselves. But, again, as it’s the case with most instances of psychological abuse, the abuser often doesn’t even realize what they are doing. Usually, the parent doesn’t even have malicious intent.

They might be busy parents who are too focused on their careers to take some time off work and spend time with their kids. But neglect can degenerate and be much worse in other cases. Sometimes, the neglected child doesn’t even get necessities, such as enough food, because their parents or caregivers aren’t concerned with their wellbeing.

Plus, they don’t get the security they need. So often, these kids must fend for themselves, walk to and from school, cook for themselves, and raise themselves. So it’s not hard to imagine that this kid, who was neglected and felt unloved their whole life, will grow up to feel like they are the least important thing possible.

A neglected child repeatedly hears that their parents have other priorities. Some parents prioritize work or having fun over their kids. So, they will grow up as very independent adults who think there’s something wrong with them and that they should face life alone.

4. Bullying and Discrimination Cause Feelings of Being Unlovable

Bullying and discrimination manifest similarly and are both insults pointed at people for reasons entirely out of their control. It doesn’t matter if someone made fun of you for wearing funny clothes or being a particular gender or race; the effects are similar. Sure, discrimination often becomes systemic, and that’s when it starts affecting someone’s ability to get employed or to get justice in society.

But psychologically, both of these traumas can make the victim feel unloved. When someone picks on you for who you are, it’s hard not to feel like you are simply not likable. Whether people bully you for being into video games or being of a particular nationality, it’ll still make you feel like an outsider. People are fundamentally social beings.

And, when they can’t get the social interactions they need and are shunned from them and made fun of by the very group they want to interact with, it’ll scar them. This is why school bullies are such a big issue. It teaches kids that they should be anyone but themselves if they want to be loved.

But things don’t get much better if we talk about discrimination in the workplace, for example. In that case, people learn that their peers care more about their appearance and heritage than they do about who they are and what they bring to the team.

Again, this teaches people that their skin color or accent is much more critical than how kind or intelligent they are. Again, this makes people feel like they’ll never fit in, no matter what they do. As a result, they believe they will always receive punishment for things they can’t change.

5. Isolation Makes Someone Feel Unloved

Many people, especially introverts and people who have lived through traumas, have trouble making friends and creating meaningful connections with others. And this is exceedingly hurtful for people who have always felt alone since childhood. Sometimes, parents keep kids away from their friends or don’t teach them how to socialize correctly.

But this doesn’t have to be reserved for friendships. If an adult feels like, no matter what they do, they can’t be with someone who cares about them; they’ll eventually start to think that they are the problem. The more time people spend without meaningful connections, the more unloved they will feel. And this will spiral and eventually become a vicious cycle.

If you don’t feel worthy of love, you won’t have the courage to meet new people and form bonds. And the fewer friends you have, the more unlovable you’ll feel. So, at a certain point, isolation will seem the best option for you, even though it isn’t.

Final Thoughts on Some Traumas That Make Someone Feel Unlovable

Feeling unlovable is potentially one of the worst feelings anyone can have. And, once you believe that no one could care about you, it can be virtually impossible to change it. But you don’t have to be ashamed of feeling that way. Feeling unloved is an effect of having lived through trauma, and the first step to getting over it is accepting that it’s normal to feel that way sometimes.

If you’ve been through abuse at any age, it’s not surprising that you believe you aren’t worthy of nice things. Whether neglect, physical abuse, gaslighting, or anything in between, it’s so traumatic that it leaves scars. Besides that, many people have to deal with bullying and discrimination, which can also make people feel inadequate. Lastly, isolation and lack of human connection will make people feel unlovable. But remember that you are a victim of this trauma, and you shouldn’t beat yourself down for feeling this way.

5 Reasons to Pause Before Reacting to A Rude Person

December 11, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

There’s nothing worse than going about your day when you suddenly interact with a rude person and have a nasty reaction. Such an event is bound to anger you. It might even ruin your whole day. Because people are reactionary, a rude person is bound to elicit a reaction. But reacting immediately won’t help you at all. It might make you feel good in the moment, but it has no long-term benefits.

The only thing you will achieve by reacting is blowing things even more out of proportion. Instead of ignoring that person and moving on, you’ll spend dozens of minutes arguing with them. If you’re looking for a fight, by all means, react. But it’s safe to assume that people just want to get along with their day without burdening themselves with all that negativity.

Still, you can’t stop rude people from being rude. And you have to handle the situation in one way or another. Plus, not all rude people are built the same. Some might just be straight-up mean, while others might sprinkle some rational ideas amongst the disrespectful things they say. Plus, not all bad interactions will happen with random people on the street that you can ignore.

Sometimes, your friends might act in ways they shouldn’t. Or a colleague you are forced to work with is the one causing you trouble. Considering that so many variables can change your interaction with that rude person, the best thing you can do is take a brief pause before reacting in any way.

5 Reasons to Pause Before Reacting to A Rude Person

1. You Can Analyze the Situation

As mentioned previously, not all encounters with rude people are the same. Some will be random interactions with people on the street, while others are people you know and have to interact with daily. Depending on the situation, you’ll have to adjust your reaction. So, pausing will give you time to analyze the situation and understand whether a response is warranted.

When someone is rude to you, the first thing that’s affected is your emotions. Say someone calls you a name or insults you. In that case, their words will most likely hurt you. And when people are hurt, they don’t think logically. Their instincts kick in, and they feel the need to defend themselves. In such a situation, your instinct will be to fight back or start arguing with the other person to prove that their insult has no basis.

But this won’t help you at all. If you pause and give yourself time to see, you’ll see the situation for what it is: something you don’t need to waste your time on. But if the rude person is a co-worker, you might be forced by the context you’re in to give a response. Pausing will allow you to understand what type of situation you’re in so that you can have the best reaction possible.

2. You Can Look at The Situation from the Rude Person’s Perspective

There’s no excuse for people being rude and snapping at someone no matter what they are going through. But some extenuating circumstances might make you better understand why those people acted as they did. Most people aren’t inherently evil and don’t enjoy hurting others for the sake of it. Often, such behavior stems from trauma or having to deal with many responsibilities.

It might even be that someone is rude to mask just how insecure and afraid they are. Some do it because they feel entitled to everything and believe their actions don’t have consequences. But, if you can, it’s worth it to pause and think about their reason for being rude. If you don’t know the person you had the unfortunate interaction with, that will not help. But it’s essential when dealing with people you know because it can help you empathize, leading to a much healthier discussion.

If a friend randomly snaps at you, it might be because they have some issues they haven’t told you about. Sure, their words might sting. But they might hide how hurt they are. So, it’s worth asking what made them act the way they did and if there’s anything you can help them with. Also, pausing will help you remember to be the bigger person, even if your instinctive reaction might be to snap back.

A little empathy will go a long way in ensuring that something small and insignificant doesn’t ruin your relationships with others. However, that doesn’t mean you should accept random rudeness. People still need to be held accountable, but they also need help if they deal with serious issues.

3. You Can Manage Your Emotions Before Reacting

Emotional reactions are the most common ones when you encounter rude people. Whenever someone disrespects or insults you, the emotions you’ll default to are anger and sadness or hurt. These emotions are likely to influence the way you handle the situation. But the thing is, when you cool off, you’ll clear your head which means you’ll be able to think logically again. When that happens, you’ll probably regret an overreaction in the heat of the moment.

Sometimes, these emotional responses don’t necessarily bring you a significant detriment. You might be lucky and be in a situation where an angry reaction will make you moodier for the rest of the day. But emotional outbursts can backfire quickly. For example, you’ll get in trouble if you snap at a co-worker, no matter how rude they might have been. Sometimes you’ll face worse consequences than the person who started this ordeal.

For that reason, pausing before reacting is vital. Before you answer, you can take a deep breath and regulate your emotions in those moments. Sure, you won’t be able to deal with all your anger or sadness in just a few seconds. But you can at least try to calm down and think logically instead of acting on instinct.

Maybe that means you won’t respond how you’d want, but at least you won’t create a worse conflict. In some cases, you can even take more than a few moments. For example, if a friend is rude to you, it’s best to walk away from a confrontation and take a few hours or days to process everything. After you’ve thought everything through, you can have a rational and beneficial discussion with that person.

4. You Can Formulate a Coherent Response

Generally, you cannot gain much from engaging a rude person. But if that’s what you want or you’re put in a position where a reaction is mandatory, make sure the response is coherent. As discussed previously, when someone is rude to you, you immediately respond in kind. Sure, that’s a morally ambiguous reaction, and many people would even argue that if you’re just as rude as the other person, you’re no better than them.

But that shouldn’t even be your biggest concern. An even bigger issue is that a conversation in which people trade insults is incoherent and unproductive. In simpler terms, fighting back is just a waste of time. But if you need or want to respond, at least ensure it’s coherent. There’s no way to change a rude person’s attitude in a short conversation. But you can ensure it’s at least beneficial to you somehow.

This idea is best explained through examples. Say a co-worker makes fun of how you look. The most effective response won’t be to start making fun of their looks. Instead, you’ll make an impression if you remind them that your ability to do good work has nothing to do with your looks, which matters in a professional environment. Or, if someone cuts in line, the most beneficial reaction for you might be to ignore them.

5. You Can Talk Yourself Into Ignoring a Rude Person

More often than you might think, silence is the best response. That’s because rude people don’t even care if you have better arguments than they do or if you prove them wrong. They are usually inherently mean people who find it fun to see other people getting worked up.

Or they might be the kind of people who are so entitled that they think they can say anything but get incredibly angry if you respond. So, reacting is often something that will only make things worse. Sometimes, it might even put you in danger. If you talk back to someone double your size, you genuinely risk getting into a physical fight.

You probably wouldn’t respond to a drunk guy at the bar that seems to be looking for a fight. Most of your encounters with rude people won’t be that dangerous. Still, a reaction will most likely worsen things or incentivize the other person to keep going. But silence almost always guarantees that you can move on with your day without arguing with anyone.

And that saves you time, and it’s ultimately better for your mental health. And the best way to convince yourself to ignore such a person rather than to give in to your impulses and fight back is by pausing before reacting.

Final Thoughts on Some Reasons to Pause Before Reacting to A Rude Person

When someone disrespects you, you’ll want to react and give them a taste of their medicine. But such a reaction doesn’t help you or anyone else. More often than not, a rash response will create a big fight in which you’ll say things you’ll regret later. So, before reacting to a rude person, take a moment to think things through.

By pausing, you’ll be able to analyze the situation and look at all perspectives. Plus, you can manage your emotions to ensure you don’t overreact or give in to impulses. Those moments, or even days if the situation allows, can be used to formulate a response that will be useful and diffuse the situation. And it’s the best opportunity to talk yourself into being silent and getting on with your day.

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Fifteen Signs That Indicate a Dream Woman

1. Your Dream Woman Is Vulnerable With You

2. A Soulmate Wants Your Opinion

3. She Laughs at Your Jokes

4. A Dream Woman Says “We” Instead of “I”

5. Your Soulmate Sees Her Money as Yours

6. You Like to Do Things Together

7. A Dream Woman Pampers You

8. A Soulmate Can Handle Your Mood Swings

9. A Soulmate Calls You Pet Names

10. Your Dream Woman Trusts You

11. She’s Eager to Call You Her Boyfriend

12. A Soulmate Changes Her Spending Habits

13. She Loves Your Family

14. A Dream Woman Believes in You

15. Her Friends Are All Married or in Successful Relationships

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What is Domestic Trauma?

Trauma and Self-Esteem

3 Ways to Heal Your Heart from Domestic Trauma

1. Break the Cycle of Domestic Trauma

2. Share Your Experiences

3. Practice Self-Compassion

Final Thoughts on Ways to Heal Your Heart from Domestic Trauma

1. If Your Dynamic Is Unbalanced and Unhealthy, Don’t Fix a Relationship

· You Feel Like Expressing Needs Makes You Needy

· You Break Up To Make Up To Break Up Again

· If You Feel Bad Around Your Partner, Then Don’t Fix a Relationship

· You Don’t Feel Supported In Bad Times

· There’s Too Much Pressure To Change

· You Only Feel Good When You’re Together

2. Don’t Fix a Relationship Once Conflict Is No Longer Constructive

· Non-Stop Fighting Might Mean It’s Okay Not to Fix a Relationship

· Constant Defensiveness

· No More Fighting At All

3. Don’t Fix a Relationship if Your Priorities Don’t Match Up

· You’re No Longer Each Other’s Priority

· You’re Not Willing To Compromise

· Your Goals Don’t Align

4. Don’t Fix a Relationship Once There’s No More Respect

· There’s Constant Criticism

· It’s Not Possible To Agree To Disagree

· If There’s Contempt, Don’t Fix a Relationship

5. Don’t Fix a Relationship If You Have an Abusive Partner

6. You Don’t Feel The Same Anymore

· You Don’t Laugh Together Anymore

· You Try Not To Spend Time Together

· You Don’t See A Future Together Anymore

Final Thoughts On Some Times It’s Okay To Not To Fix A Relationship

5 Traumas That Make Someone Feel Unlovable

1. Physical Abuse Cause the Fear of Being Unlovable

2. Emotional and Psychological Abuse Make Someone Feel Unloved

Here’s an example of this abuse:

3. Childhood Neglect Make People Feel Unloved

4. Bullying and Discrimination Cause Feelings of Being Unlovable

5. Isolation Makes Someone Feel Unloved

Final Thoughts on Some Traumas That Make Someone Feel Unlovable

5 Reasons to Pause Before Reacting to A Rude Person

1. You Can Analyze the Situation

2. You Can Look at The Situation from the Rude Person’s Perspective

3. You Can Manage Your Emotions Before Reacting

4. You Can Formulate a Coherent Response

5. You Can Talk Yourself Into Ignoring a Rude Person

Final Thoughts on Some Reasons to Pause Before Reacting to A Rude Person

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