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15 Keys to Living a Long and Happy Life

March 12, 2015 by Power of Positivity

[dropcap]T[/dropcap]he U.S. centenarian population has been on the rise the past few decades, growing from 32, 194 people who lived to see their 100^th birthday in the 1980s to 53, 364 centenarians in 2010, according to the Census Bureau. So, how does this relatively small group of people who live a longer life accomplish the incredible feat of living to such a ripe age?

Many of them credit these habits for granting them a long, happy, healthy life:

1. Cultivate a positive attitude.

In a 2012 study published in the journal Aging, researchers from the Albert Einstein College of Medicine found that out of 243 centenarians assessed, all of them had upbeat, optimistic, easygoing personalities. However, this one should come as no surprise – a pessimistic attitude drains you of vital energy and can even decrease your lifespan due to the shortening of telomeres, or the “end caps” of DNA strands. If you don’t already, practice developing a positive outlook on life. This rosy outlook will increase your longevity and possibly become a centenarian yourself!

2. Laugh often.

In the same journal referenced above, researchers from several prestigious universities discovered that the same 243 centenarians did more than just have a good attitude – they considered laughter an important part of life, too. Find reasons to laugh on a daily basis; not taking life so seriously could actually add some years to your lifespan.

3. Follow your unique life purpose.

People in Costa Rica call this a “Plan de Vida,” or reason to live. They feel that a strong sense of purpose and desire to contribute to a greater cause played a huge role in a small group of Costa Ricans living to 100. According to the website Blue Zones, people living in this area of Central America have twice as much likelihood as Americans of living to the age of 90.

4. Adopt a plant-based diet.

JAMA Internal Medicine revealed that vegetarians have a 12 percent lower risk than their meat-eating counterparts of suffering a premature death. Switching to a plant-based diet offers a slew of health benefits as well, which may explain why this group of people enjoys, on average, a much longer, vibrant life.

5. Get enough shut-eye.

Sleeping for at least seven or eight hours a night will leave you feeling refreshed and ready to take on the day. That’s not to mention that sleep allows your body to produce important hormones as well. A Penn State study found that men who slept less than six hours a night had a four-fold increase in their chance of dying over a 14-year period. Prioritize sleep over staying up late surfing the web or partying with friends to join the growing number of centenarians on the planet.

6. Live in a sunny, tropical climate.

Not surprisingly, Hawaii comes in first for the happiest, the least-stressed state in the U.S., as well as the state with the greatest longevity. On average, a 65 year old living in Hawaii will live another 16.2 years, in comparison to another 10.6 years in the state with the lowest life expectancy, Mississippi.

7. Move your body.

A 123-year-old Bolivian man, Carlos Flores Laura, credits his longevity to taking daily walks. Others like Tao Porchon-Lynch, a 95-year-old yoga instructor, say that a regular yoga influenced their long lives. So choose an activity to take part in. Whatever it is, make sure you really enjoy it and can incorporate it into your routine regularly.

8. Help other people.

Yep, altruism can actually lead to a longer life. According to a University of Michigan study, volunteering for the purpose of helping others, not helping oneself, leads to an increased lifespan on average.

9. Take more vacations.

Make sure to allot some vacation time into your busy work schedule; it could actually save your life. The Framington Heart Study followed about 12,000 middle-aged men for nine years; the results of their study? The men who took more time off work actually lived longer than the workaholics. So, booking more vacations might not make your wallet too happy, but a longer life doesn’t sound too shabby, either.

10. Stay close with family.

According to government research, Hispanics actually live 2.5 years longer than Americans on average. Furthermore, researchers suspect that having a close-knit family has something to do with it. We can learn from all cultures, and the Latino community proves that family bonding can play a huge role in having a long, enjoyable life.

11. Stay in touch with your spirituality.

Whether you choose to attend church services or keep up a regular meditation practice, WebMD’s 2008 survey of centenarians showed that 84 percent of them viewed a healthy spiritual life as an important part of aging well. Take it from the centenarians – exploring your spirituality can lead to a better, longer life in the long run.

12. Tell yourself positive affirmations.

Yogi Tao Porchon-Lynch, the lady mentioned earlier in the article, also accredited positive self-talk to her long, healthy life. Even in her 90s, she wakes up every day and tells herself that each day will be the best day of her life. Repeating mantras like these to yourself can help instill a positive mindset and totally transform your outlook on life.

13. Keep your mind active.

Continual intellectual stimulation can add years to your life – in fact, 89 percent of centenarians do things to keep their brains busy, according to a 2008 WebMD survey.

14. Live conscientiously.

By far, researchers have found that being conscientious is one of the best indicators of how long a person will live. The book The Longevity Project talks about this in-depth. It explains that conscientious people have a higher likelihood of adopting healthier lifestyles and have more successful relationships and careers on average.

15. Develop a resilient mindset.

Researchers at the Al Siebert Resiliency Center found psychologically resilient adults coped much better with life’s challenges and aged more gracefully. In other words, don’t ever stay down too long after an upsetting event. Instead, talk about your feelings openly. Then, get back up on your feet quickly to avoid falling into depression or stagnation. Easier said than done. However, it could tack on a few years to your lifespan, after all.

10 Signs You’re Dealing With A Liar

March 12, 2015 by Power of Positivity

In everyday interactions with people, you will likely come across those who are willing to be a liar in order to either get something they want or to cover up the real story. Sometimes they get caught in their lies, but other times they get away with them if they’ve played the game long enough. Maybe you have someone in your life who you have always had an uneasy feeling about, or you just can’t ever get a good read on them.

To find out if they may have secretly been pulling the wool over your eyes, take into consideration the following signs next time you think someone’s telling you a lie. Of course, these are red flags you’re dealing with a liar, but like anything else, there are exceptions.

Here are 10 signs someone might be a liar:

Take these signs as a general guide to unmasking a dishonest person

1. They never make eye contact with you.

Because liars actually feel guilty on the inside, they feel very uncomfortable when others look into their eyes. They feel as if the other person can see right through them, so they avoid long gazes with other people as much as possible. To catch someone in a lie, watch where their eyes go; do they look at the floor or look away from you when you talk to them? If so, there’s a good chance they have something to hide, and they desperately want to keep it a secret.

2. They act nervous around you.

No matter if the lie involves something significant or just a minor detail, a liar will usually act jittery and anxious around the person they want to hide things from. They might talk faster to get the attention off of them, sweat profusely, blush or pace back and forth. With an experienced liar, they might not show any signs of guilt because they have gotten used to living in a lie. However, if you start grilling them with questions, they might eventually crack under the pressure.

3. They look troubled about something.

Liars tend to not smile as much as people who live authentically and tell the truth no matter the consequences. Lying puts a huge strain on one’s conscience, and consequently makes one feel like they have two tons of bricks weighing down on them. This enormous pressure must come out somehow, and it usually reveals itself on the liar’s face. Watch the person in question’s facial expressions – you will probably notice that they don’t really show much emotion. The lies eventually eat people up on the inside, and their usual temperament is a telling sign of how they really feel.

4. Things about their story just don’t add up.

After you hear their story, you intuitively feel that they have embellished major parts of it or just fabricated the entire thing altogether. For example, maybe you feel that your friend stole money from your wallet when you set down your purse to throw something away. While you can’t really prove it, you remember taking $100 out of the bank, and not being able to find $60 after hanging out with her. When you accuse her of stealing from you, she insists that someone else came up and took the money. But, why didn’t she ever tell you about this incident after it happened? Liars usually don’t have very good cover-ups for their stories, because they have to come up with a fictional tale on the fly.

5. They start getting defensive.

If they had nothing to hide, why would they get angry about you interrogating them? People who tell the truth will act calm when put on the spot and will offer logical explanations about their behavior. Meanwhile, liars have to deal with all the turmoil they’ve created and must justify it to avoid caving under all the guilt. A liar will start to show signs of anger; they might ball their fists, cross their arms, have an enraged look in their eyes, or even make you feel inferior to boost their own ego. Going on the defense almost always points to a person with ulterior motives.

6. They change the subject.

Any mention of the lies they’ve told makes them feel uncomfortable, so they like to quickly take the attention off of themselves and bring up a more neutral topic. Usually, they make this quite obvious so that you will start to get frustrated, which makes their whole scheme even more fun to them. Look out for these sudden subject changes, because that’s your chance to really dig deep and ask them tough questions.

7. They keep noticeable physical distance from you.

Liars feel uncomfortable with human contact because they secretly harbor a lot of insecurity and pain, and feel that any sign of care will blow their cover. They will shy away from hugs or handshakes and will keep a sizeable distance between the two of you. This serves as a form of protection for them because they don’t want to get too relaxed and accidentally reveal too much information.

8. They start rambling almost uncontrollably.

Most liars can’t help but twist their stories into some convoluted tale that makes no sense in the end. They tell a couple of white lies but must cover these up with more lies in order to keep the “facts” straight when in reality it just makes it all less believable. Liars typically come up with complex stories in order to convince you that they are, in fact, telling the truth, but this marks a surefire sign of a liar in action.

9. They can’t sit still.

Liars fidget a lot. That is because they want some distraction to take them away from the seriousness of the conversation, so they play with their phones, tap their feet, move around in their chair, twist their hair, etc.

10. They change their story later.

Even if they add or revoke small details, this further proves that their original story had no merit. They probably forgot most of the tale they told since it never really happened, which means they can try and confuse you more with additional fabrications. If they try to change their story, ask them what they initially told you – as they fumble over the details, you can rest assured that you have finally caught them in their own lie.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

7 Habits of Highly Creative People

March 8, 2015 by Power of Positivity

When we talk about creativity, we often think of it as an innate quality: you’re either creative, or you’re not. Those of us who don’t feel creative may lament our deficiency and look longingly at people who naturally seem to have creative spirits. The truth is that creativity is not just a natural talent; it can be cultivated just like any other skill.

Some people may find it easier to be creative than others, but that doesn’t mean that not everyone can be creative. In fact, with a little effort and the right habits, you might impress yourself by how creative you can be. If you practice these creative habits in your life, you’re likely to come up with more new ideas and seeing interesting connections around you. As you learn to tap into your creativity, there are different habits you can use to expand your creative nature. Even if you’ve never felt particularly creative before, you can become a highly creative person, and unleash your full creative potential.

7 Habits of Highly Creative People

1. They focus attention on what is valuable to them (paid or not).

Creativity is hardly worth the effort if you’re bored with what you’re doing. If you want to be creative, it’s essential that you’re working towards pursuits that you find rewarding and meaningful. Of course, everyone needs to earn a living. It’s not always possible to do what you love 100% of the time. But if you don’t find your everyday activity rewarding, pause for a moment to think about what is meaningful to you. You can aspire to do what you love and what you find fulfilling, and take steps to make those activities a larger part of your life.

Doing something meaningful gives you the energy and motivation that fuels creativity, and in turn, will help you find more meaning in life.

2. They follow their intuition

Some of the most creative and successful people in the world got to where they are today by saying “Yes” when everyone else was telling them “No.” There are times when you need to trust your intuition, even if the outside world is full of doubts. When you’re creative, your ideas may be different from the norm. That doesn’t mean that they’re wrong. Do your research and listen to others’ advice, but don’t be afraid to trust your intuition and commit to a creative decision.

3. Creative people take time to play in the imagination sandbox.

Daydreaming doesn’t have to be unproductive. In fact, the freedom of daydreaming can help you to unlock new ideas and may work to encourage creative thought processes. So when you have some downtime, don’t be afraid to daydream about whatever comes to mind. You may just think up your next great idea.

4. They know how to trigger their creativity.

Think about the last time you felt really creative. What were you doing? Were there any triggers or elements of your environment that made you feel particularly creative? Often, you can recreate these triggers to increase your creativity. Many people, for example, feel their most creative when they’re traveling. If that’s the case, try scheduling yourself a regular train or bus trip, even if it’s only a couple of towns over. If exercise brings out your creative juices, fit in a workout before you plan to work on something creative. Whatever gets your mind moving, figure out a way to fit it into your schedule to build up your creativity.

5. They follow inspirational sources.

Learning from others is a great way to boost your creativity. When you see or learn about someone who has been successful in your field, it can help to motivate you and give you a burst of creativity. Try talking to a mentor, reading a book written by (or about) a personal hero, or visiting your favorite inspirational website. The more inspiration you find and the more you learn, the more creative you’re likely to be.

6. They make the most of the challenges

Too often, we let an obstacle set us back and put an end to our creative energy. However, challenges can actually provide the best opportunities to come up with creative solutions and achieve personal growth.

When you are faced with an obstacle, instead of giving up, put your creativity to the test and come up with a way to defeat it. You may find that when you’re overcoming a challenge, you’re at your best.

7. They embrace new ideas and try new things.

New experiences are some of the absolute best fuel for creativity. They expose you to new activities, new feelings, and new ideas. They also help you to expand your knowledge and skills. In addition, you’ll learn to overcome fear, which can be one of the biggest obstacles to creativity. Try to fit in at least one new experience each week. It can be something big, like a new hobby, or something small, like talking to someone you’ve never met or trying out a new restaurant.

Are you unleashing your full creative potential? Share the things you do to unlock your creativity in the discussion below!

11 Ways to Protect Yourself from Emotional Manipulation

March 8, 2015 by Power of Positivity

All emotions, whether good or bad, serve a purpose in our journeys – but be aware of those who want to use the mighty power of emotional manipulation against you.

If you identify as an empath, this will especially apply to you, as this group of people is most vulnerable to picking up negative energy from others. Next time you feel emotional manipulation consult these tips for protecting your own energy field.

7 Red Flags That Reveal Emotional Manipulation

Emotional manipulation happens when someone seeks to gain power or control by employing certain tactics. Usually, it involves gaslighting, passive aggression, and emotional abuse such as name-calling. A 2013 study found that emotional abuse can cause just as much harm as physical abuse, leading to depression and poor self-image. Unfortunately, emotional abuse occurs often in relationships, with 47% of women and almost 47% of men experiencing it at some point.

Whether you’re in the workplace or on a date, look out for these warning signs of an emotional manipulator.

1. Intellectual Bullying Reveals Emotional Manipulation

Some emotional manipulators will attempt to gain power over you through intellectual bullying. Basically, this just means they bombard you with facts and knowledge to confuse or overwhelm you. When you’re in a vulnerable state, it makes you much easier to control. Many narcissists use this tactic, and may even quiz you about certain topics. They’re trying to gauge how much you know to see how you measure up against them.

2. Emotional Invalidation

Emotional manipulation can also take the form of invalidation, where the person tries to downplay your feelings or experiences. For instance, if you’re explaining how you fell at work and they immediately shift the focus on themselves, they’re trying to manipulate you. It might seem innocent at first, but their intentions will become clear eventually.

People who compare your issues with theirs want to garner sympathy but can’t seem to show it. It’s best to steer clear of people who invalidate your problems, especially if they claim to care about your wellbeing. If they did, they would show it through their actions.

3. Gaslighting and Playing the Victim

If a person gaslights you, it’s a clear sign they’re engaging in emotional manipulation. Gaslighting involves making the victim question their own sanity by twisting stories or creating false narratives. Of course, they want you to feel crazy in order to maintain control. They don’t want to take accountability for any problems in the relationship, blaming you for anything that goes wrong.

If you bring up a concern, they will immediately downplay your feelings or even deny their wrongdoing. They want you to feel responsible for any mistakes to lower your self-esteem even further. You know in your gut when something feels off in a relationship, so please don’t fall for this manipulation technique.

4. Shaming Can Be a Sign of Emotional Manipulation

Emotional manipulators want you to feel inferior, guilty and shameful so they have power over your emotions. When they know they can get a rise out of you, it becomes an addiction. They will always crave more because they enjoy seeing you upset.

Like any energy vampire, they thrive off negative emotional reactions and people with compassion. Emotional manipulators usually target empathetic victims since they tend to see the positives in others. That way, they’re blindsided when the manipulation begins since they never saw it coming.

The manipulator may shame you by saying you’re ungrateful for everything they’ve done for you. They want you to feel obligated to them in some way, but in reality, you only owe yourself the freedom to leave this toxic relationship.

5. Lying

While a white lie here and there doesn’t always point to emotional manipulation, it’s a red flag when it happens repeatedly. The person may lie to hide something they feel ashamed about, such as cheating. Or if they’re a compulsive liar, they’ve learned to make up stories out of habit, either to embellish or deny facts. Either way, lying about important things in relationships can create a rift between people over time.

Trust forms the foundation in a healthy relationship, and once the lies accumulate, it begins to crack. Sure, you can repair things after one or two lies, but at some point, the trust disappears completely. Just remember, if someone truly loves and cares about you, they’ll tell you the truth no matter how much it hurts. They’d rather come clean than walk around with a heart full of secrets.

6. Using Ultimatums

Another common form of emotional manipulation involves giving someone ultimatums. The manipulator does this to find your weaknesses so they can get what they want. For instance, your partner might say they will break up with you if you go out for girl’s night. Not only does this point to a controlling partner, it also shows they have deep-seated insecurities. Or, perhaps they might ask for financial help, saying that “If you love me, you’ll do this for me.”

Of course, someone who uses ultimatums doesn’t have your best interests at heart.

7. Giving Silent Treatment

A common passive aggressive behavior, the silent treatment is used to gain control in a relationship. This form of emotional manipulation may occur after an argument or disagreement, especially if the person felt unheard. They want to shift all the attention onto themselves and gain sympathy by refusing to communicate with you.

The manipulator figures that, after a while, you will come crawling back to them and apologize for your behavior. They want you to feel responsible, even if the argument was their fault. Eventually, you might feel worried about them and decide to break the silence. This is what they had planned all along, of course, so that you’d forget about the underlying issues and admit your mistake.

If you’re in a relationship with someone who employs the silent treatment often, let them know it bothers you. Relationships are a two-way street and require active communication from both people.

11 Ways to Protect Yourself from Emotional Manipulation

1. Don’t fall into their trap.

People who take pleasure in toying with others’ emotions will use any sort of tactics, such as confusion, blame, and interrogation, in order to really get under your skin. If you have to deal with these types of people often, like in your workplace, just ignore them or surprise them by saying something nice instead of meeting them with a combative attitude. Emotional manipulators thrive off getting a rise out of you, so make sure you don’t give them what they want – after several failed attempts, they may begin to leave you alone.

2. Start writing down what they say during conversations.

While this might seem a little overboard, emotional manipulators have a habit of making you look like the bad guy, and twisting their words to fit any agenda. You might actually start to believe sometimes that you have done something wrong when in reality, you have fallen victim to their terrible scheme. To make sure you can actually show them what they said in prior conversations, jot down any details you think they might conveniently change later in order to justify their behavior. They may also try to convince you they never said a certain thing, but you can actually prove they did with the notes you take.

Get smart about protecting yourself from their wrath, and they may soon get discouraged from using you as their emotional toy.

3. Steer clear whenever possible.

Of course, avoiding emotional manipulators and instigators will totally eliminate your chances of getting taken advantage of by them. To do this, try your best to read people’s energy when you first meet them. If you don’t get a good vibe from them, simply trust your gut and make a pact to steer clear of them when you can. Working in the same place as an emotional manipulator can be a bit trickier, but just aim to limit your interactions with the person as much as possible. You will save yourself a lot of energy and sanity by doing so.

4. Call them out on their behavior.

These people have probably bossed around others for so long and have never been confronted for it. Stand up for yourself and let them know that they make you feel uncomfortable and taken advantage of. Even if they deny their behavior or try to turn it back around on you, at least you can rest easy knowing you actually defended yourself and stood up for the truth. Maybe they will begin to change their tune if you struck a nerve with them; after all, once they scare everyone away, they will have no one to manipulate anymore, anyway.

5. Avoid emotional attachment with them

Easier said than done, especially if they don’t show their true colors immediately. Pay attention to the first sign of them completely steamrolling your emotions, slowly back away from the relationship, and make sure to let them know your boundaries. Emotional manipulators constantly scan the horizon for their next victim, but it’s much easier to break away if you haven’t invested too much in the relationship, to begin with. If you must talk to them, maintain a cordial, civil relationship, but don’t let it go any further than that if you value your emotional well-being.

6. Meditate often.

In order to keep your vibration high, you need to silence the mind, breathe deeply, and get in touch with the higher realms to adequately handle yourself on Earth. It will help you deal with emotional manipulators much better because you will have inner peace no matter how much chaos unfolds around you. Loving-kindness meditation, specifically, will allow you to cultivate compassion for this person and maybe open your eyes to what they have been through in their life. Meet hostility with love and understanding, and you just might witness them to transform into a new person after a while.

7. Inspire them.

It’s important to “be the change”, and in this instance, it will inadvertently protect you because they won’t emit such negative vibes after they’re inspired by your own non-manipulative, positive actions. Bring up the benefits of meditation, taking responsibility for their own life, following their true passions, volunteering, eating a clean diet, and exercising. Use all the knowledge you have gained about becoming your best self in order to help them become their best selves, too.

8. Tell them “you’re right.”

As hard as this might be for the ego, your soul will give you a round of applause and possibly a standing ovation, too. Emotional manipulators feed on drama, so agreeing with them will leave them speechless and quickly put out the flames of their delusions. Just for the sake of keeping your peace of mind, simply let them win the argument. You know deep down that their behavior and accusations were wrong, but they will have to deal with that karma later anyway.

9. Let go of harmful relationships.

If you notice this type of behavior in your boyfriend, girlfriend, or spouse, you should leave that relationship behind in favor of your own well-being. You can’t force a person to change, no matter how many times you have brought up their volatile behavior. You deserve someone who will nurture and balance your emotions, not someone who wants to use you for their own personal enjoyment.

10. Develop a strong mentality.

Don’t ever let their insults or outbursts get inside your head; laugh at them or just entertain their thoughts without agreeing with them. If you know what kind of person you are and have a strong sense of self-worth, nothing they say will ever bring you down.

11. Give yourself positive self-talk throughout the day.

An emotional manipulator can completely tarnish your otherwise peppy mood, so make sure you restore yourself with uplifting affirmations and messages during the day. They thrive on seeing your mood go down the drain, so when they see you unaffected by their brash remarks, they won’t have a reason to torment you any longer.

Final Thoughts on Recognizing and Protecting Yourself From Emotional Manipulation

Unfortunately, emotional manipulation occurs quite often in schools, workplaces, and relationships. Many of us have probably manipulated people without even realizing it as well, because no one is perfect. However, when someone intentionally deceives others with the goal of getting something from them, it becomes a form of abuse. In daily life, it’s important to shield yourself from negative people and walk away from anyone who doesn’t have your best interests at heart.

Emotional manipulators usually reveal themselves much like narcissists do, by lying, gaslighting, invalidating your feelings, or shaming you. Don’t fall for these tactics, as they can only derive power by steamrolling over others.

9 Ways to Reconnect With Your Higher Self

March 7, 2015 by Power of Positivity

What if I told you that your higher self lies beyond the barriers of this physical world, but you can still access this high vibrational being while on Earth? It might seem a little farfetched because we have been taught that the only reality that exists is right before our eyes. However, once you open your mind to other possibilities, you will likely encounter your higher self on your journey to the ultimate truth.

In the beginning, getting in touch with the truest version of yourself can be a bit challenging, but these tips can make the process easier.

9 Ways to Reconnect With Your Higher Self:

1. Meditate, meditate, and don’t forget to meditate.

There’s a reason why this is first on the list: meditation allows you to silence your thoughts and reach new spiritual heights through your breath and stillness. It lifts the veil between this world and other worlds, and consequently reveals the self you have been searching for throughout your life.

Meditation allows you to travel via your mind to other dimensions and reawaken your relationship with your most authentic self. You can start with just ten minutes a day to ease into it, and gradually build yourself up to longer meditation sessions when you feel ready.

2. Allow love to motivate all your actions and words.

Many people operate on the vibration of fear, so in turn, we see war, starvation, crime, struggle, arguing, and all sorts of other disasters on both large and small scales. However, if we all tuned into our divine nature and realized that only love will save us, this entire world would function much differently. If you really want to embody your highest self, tell yourself subtle reminders throughout your day such as “I am love” or “I love everyone” or “Is this the most loving choice I can make for myself?”

Try to let love drive all your words, thoughts, and actions, and you will definitely feel a shift in your energy in a short amount of time.

3. Only listen to your own heart when making decisions.

This might seem presumptuous, but at the end of the day, you know yourself better than anyone else. If you don’t feel happy in your current job, seek a new one on your own terms. If you hate the city you live in, move somewhere that aligns more with your interests and lifestyle, even if your family and friends don’t agree with your choice.

To honor your highest self, you need to follow your own heart so you can become the extraordinary being you were meant to be.

4. Abandon the victim mentality.

Anyone who reaches a higher state of existence in this life knows that they can’t blame anything outsides themselves for their circumstances. If you really want to thrive, you need to give up the habit of casting blame on people, places, and events for your troubles. We have all been victims from time to time because it just seems easier to put the blame on others rather than taking responsibility for our own lives. But, the only way to initiate change is to accept that you are a co-creator of your own reality. You hold the key, so only you can unlock the door to a more meaningful life.

5. Eat more wholesome foods.

Believe it or not, what you put in your body directly affects your vibration. The right foods, such as raw fruits and veggies, offer nourishment for our minds and bodies and allow us to perform at our most optimal levels. If you want to feel lighter and more vibrant, try incorporating more fresh, ripe fruits and vegetables into your diet. Meat, dairy, and processed foods take a long time to digest, therefore robbing our bodies of vital energy. Fruits and veggies digest quickly, however, and give our bodies the fuel they need to function properly.

6. Ask your Higher Self to speak to you.

Even if the communication is only one-way in the beginning, just request the guidance and wisdom of your higher self throughout your day. You might start seeing strange synchronicities through songs on the radio, repeating numbers on the clock, vivid dreams that seem very real, or even meeting people that you feel you have known forever. Your Higher Self wants to contact you after a long hiatus, but just apply patience and remember that he or she will speak to you when you’re truly ready. Answers will come when you least expect them.

7. Avoid labeling your emotions, and just observe them without judgment.

By perpetually fighting emotions and viewing them as “bad,” you will only invite them to come back with even more vengeance next time around. Look at your emotions as teachers; they all have important lessons to convey to you, but you have to keep your ears and mind open to retain the messages. Our true selves don’t know the struggle, so getting into the “flow” of life will bring you closer to your most natural state.

8. Spend as much time outdoors as possible.

When you sit with Mother Earth and become friends with the trees, birds, sun, and the earth itself, you will start to remember that you and all other life are weaved into the same web. Allow yourself to get lost in nature for the afternoon; run through the forest, splash in the streams, and just forget about all your responsibilities for a while.

We actually used to live among the trees not too long ago, but we have been removed from our natural environment and lost our close bond with nature. For this reason, spending lots of time outdoors can rekindle your ties with the Earth and bring about remembrance to your true origins.

9. Watch mind-opening documentaries or YouTube channels.

Most of what you see on mainstream TV is highly misconstrued or fabricated to keep people distracted from the real truth. If you want to increase your vibration, seek out alternative methods of gaining information, such as thought-provoking documentaries. By keeping an open mind, you will increase your understanding of yourself and the world around you, and begin to align your life with the intentions that your Highest Self set for you long before you incarnated on Earth.

20 Things People Don’t Do In a Healthy Relationship

March 7, 2015 by Power of Positivity

Many people know what it takes to maintain balanced, happy relationships in life: love, trust, compassion, compromise, laughter, a deep connection, and respect, to name a few. However, many of us don’t recognize unhealthy relationships, even if we are in one.

To cultivate supportive, healthy relationships in life, make sure to avoid the following things that often sabotage them:

20 Things People Don’t Do In a Healthy Relationship

1. Get too serious, too quickly.

It can be tempting to contemplate the future with your partner, but to get there, you must build on the present moment. You have to immerse yourself in the now with that person if you want to make the journey into the future with them. Take things day by day instead, and just enjoy the person’s company without feeling the need to live too far in the future.

2. Use the relationship to fill a void.

Many look to others to distract them from inner problems or heal their pain. While other people can make you feel happy, you should never rely solely on them to alleviate emptiness or loneliness. Become so happy with yourself and your life that a relationship only adds to your happiness, not serves as your only source for it.

3. Never expect challenges or problems to arise.

Some conflicts will inevitably occur in any close relationship. A disagreement here and there does not automatically mean that you and the other person should go your separate ways; rather, it just gives you both opportunities to grow closer and learn from one another.

4. Let the fear of getting hurt overwhelm them.

We all have been hurt somehow, but love will always prevail in the end. If you really feel a connection with someone, see where it leads rather than cutting them off due to past pain. When you hold back, you halt any progression the relationship might make; healthy relationships require openness and vulnerability in order to last in the long run.

5. Withholding the truth.

When asked about the most important quality a person can possess, most people quickly say “trust.” If two people don’t have that, the foundation of the relationship will quickly crumble once the truth finally comes to the surface. Healthy relationships require two people committed to sharing their darkest secrets and most authentic self no matter what.

6. Expressing fake feelings.

Telling a person you just don’t feel the same way can cause discomfort, especially if the other person really likes you. Don’t ever feel wrong for letting them down – being honest with them, no matter how they react, will allow them to move on without getting too heavily invested in the relationship in the first place.

7. Repressing their best self.

If you don’t show other people your authentic nature, they will never get the opportunity to know the real you. By letting your inner light shine through, you will just feel more alive and can better gauge the connection between you and the other person.

8. Waiting for another person to approve who you are.

No one needs the approval to be themselves – we can all express ourselves fully without having to check with someone else for validation. Healthy relationships should consist of two whole, confident people who have worked on creating their best selves and can offer this to someone else without reservation.

9. Holding grudges.

Even people who love you might unintentionally hurt you – to keep a healthy relationship, it requires forgiveness and understanding. Even if the incident means parting ways, letting go of the hurt is the only way to restore inner peace.

10. Living in the past.

Focusing on the wrongdoings and mistakes that people in your past made will only make you feel negative about your current relationship. Let go and leave those relationships where they belong – fixating on prior pain will only cause more to appear…what you resist persists.

11. Expecting their lover always to carry their weight.

People sometimes go through deep struggles that you may not know about. Understand that your partner can still love you, but just be unable to carry the burden of your problems on top of theirs at the moment.

12. Defining people solely by their flaws.

People in healthy relationships lift each other up, not cut each other down. Everyone has imperfections, but they don’t make up the totality of someone’s character. Choose to see the beauty in others, and you will see more of that in yourself.

13. Giving with expectations of receiving.

If you can only give to someone else when they promise something in return, you will always attract self-seeking types of people. Give just because you can, and you will inevitably gain more. The universe will always offer the same energy that you give out.

14. Taking relationships for granted.

People need validation that they matter, even if they have a lot of confidence in themselves. Show or tell people you care. Otherwise, they won’t feel like they make any sort of impact on your life or contribute at all to your happiness.

15. Leaving during tough times.

True relationships can weather any type of storm, and don’t just stick around for the happy times. People in healthy relationships also want to help one another through trying times because they genuinely care.

16. Trying to change the other person.

If you don’t like the other person as they are, you probably should find another partner who aligns more with your own values and personality. Healthy relationships thrive when both people absolutely love one another and can thoroughly enjoy each other’s company.

17. A need to talk (without listening).

Healthy relationships require some talking and a whole lot of listening. Sometimes, the best gift you can give is silence. When you open your heart and ears to listen, you allow a space for the other person to talk openly and really be understood.

18. Staying with someone just because it feels comfortable.

If someone doesn’t encourage you to grow and create yourself by trying new things, it might be time to leave them behind. Relationships should help you reach new heights, not hold you back.

19. Feeling jealous when the other person succeeds.

You should feel happy when other people reach a new goal or accomplish an exciting feat – jealousy leads to self-hatred and will only impede your own growth. People in healthy relationships want to see the other person thrive and support their dreams.

20. Say “yes” all the time just to avoid conflict.

If you only say what the other person wants to hear, you will soon fall out of sync with your intuitive needs. Honor yourself always, even if that means disagreeing with someone. They will probably respect you more for speaking up, and you can usually find a way to compromise with the other person.

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