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7 Signs You’ve Made a Friend For Life

“A true friend freely advises justly, assists readily, adventures boldly, takes all patiently, defends courageously, and continues a friend unchangeably.” – William Penn

Friends come and go, don’t they? We learn this somewhat early in life, when the kid next door moves, joins another clique or gets into a fight with you (hopefully not). This trend continues as we transition into college and/or join the working ranks.

Then we have the “best friend” (aka ‘BFF’) or “homegirl”/”homeboy”… those peeps that you just “click” with. It’s difficult to describe this connection; it’s just “chemistry”. There’s something between the two of you that just vibes. Then they move away, switch jobs, or just stop showing up at your place. Who knows? One minute they’re there…next minute they aren’t. Whadda ya gonna do?

Then you have the true friend – no quotations, acronyms or footnotes. You meet, become friends, hang out, etc. But there’s something quite different in this relationship. Yes, there is chemistry and “vibe.” What’s almost as important is that there is not – drama, gossip, or pretentiousness. They may also move away or whatnot, but you receive a call, text, or email asking how you’re doing and if you want to hang out (“Well, this is new!” you may think).

And so on.

Lifelong friendships are a gift, truly. They don’t happen very often; for some people not at all. Want to know how rare these types of friendships are? Consider that most American adults have just two true confidants. No…bar and golf buddies don’t count guys.

“Lifelong friends not only know the person you are, but the person you were.” says Dr. Irene Levine, creator of The Friendship Blog. “Having that shared history makes it easier to communicate in shorthand. They understand your roots and may have been witness to other important people and events in your life.”

Here are 7 signs you’ve made a friend for life.

1. You make time for each other.

Despite of the stressful situations in life – work, family, finances, etc. – you seem to be able to make time for one another. Understandably, this time may no longer consist of hanging at a local pub until 2 a.m., however lifelong friendships last because of the willingness to initiate contact and be responsive.

When you have multiple commitments, it’s difficult enough to get any time – alone, with friends or otherwise. Therefore, it’s important to plan. Set a day during the week or month where you text, email or (better yet) call your closest friends. If and when feasible, plan a night or weekend away.

2. You’re not afraid to give each other some tough love.

Telling someone what they want to hear is stress-free. Telling someone what they need to hear is much more difficult, which is why it’s important that your closest friends do so.

Now, tough love comes easier to men than it does women. Part of this is because there is a certain boldness (false or not) that comes along with being a man. Not to say this is easy for men, but they can usually swallow up that anxiety and say what needs to be said.

Women are generally more sensitive and understanding, which makes it a tad more difficult. However, your closest friends are different. They understand you and you understand them. Part of this understanding is unconditional love, and unconditional love sometimes requires some tough love.

3. You keep each other laughing.

Going back to that chemistry thing. It turns out that sharing gut-busting sessions together actually causes chemical changes in your brain that strengthen the emotional connection.

According to evolutionary psychologist Dr. Robin Dunbar, social laughter is an essential part of becoming closer. It contributes to group bonding and may have been an important element in the evolution of highly social animals.

So while you and your lifelong chum laugh while watching “Anchorman” for the 20th time, you can feel good about it bringing you closer together.

4. You’re both there in tough situations.

Here may be the best sign that you’ve acquired a lifelong friend – you’re in a tough spot and they’re there without hesitation. They don’t care what it is, where you are, or how you got there; all they want know is that you are okay.

People show their true character when situations get tough. Your friends are no different. It really is quite simple – if a friend shows true character, they’re lifelong friend material. A true friend doesn’t leave you in a time of need.

5. You embrace each other’s quirks.

We all have different personalities and different oddities. While you may not want these weird traits to be made public, your closest friends may know about them. In fact, they probably already do. They probably love you more for them…it’s what makes you, well, you.

A great trait to have in a lifelong friend is one of non-judgment. Just as a close family does not harshly judge each other, your “brotha’/sista’ from another motha’/mista’” doesn’t either. These little idiosyncrasies are welcomed as opportunities to know and understand you even better.

So go ahead and snort while you laugh, they already know about it.

6. You’re both adaptable in your friendship.

Adaptability is an important attribute to have in a lifelong friend, simply because life is unpredictable. One of you moves, gets married, has kids, etc. Lifelong friends understand that circumstances in life change and adapt their friendship accordingly.

One great aspect of technology is that it can allow us to connect with each other (Yes, it can also create the opposite effect, but that’s for another time). Facebook, webcams, text messaging…these have made it possible to have a good friend available at the tap of a finger. Use these tools to keep in touch.

7. You live with them in your being.

We strongly believe that our interconnectedness goes far beyond physical presence. The memory, presence, and spirit of that person reside within you, forever keeping the feeling of interconnectedness strong.

When that person resides strongly in your being, you know that they are indeed a lifelong friend. Continue to cultivate that friendship and demonstrate your love and appreciation for one another whenever possible.

Have you made a friend for life? Tag them in the comments below!

6 Ways to Create Good Karma

Karma, put simply, means “what goes around comes around.” If you give out good energy, it will come back full circle, and the same goes for negative energy. Many people live life on autopilot, not aware that their thoughts influence their realities.

Much of the unrest we see in the world today is a direct result of people’s thoughts. All of the wars, bickering, complaining, and general unhappiness begins with a thought carried out with action.

To counter all this negative energy, we can collectively create better karma so that good things and people start to appear in our lives, which raises the vibrational energy of the whole planet. Creating good karma is as simple as trying your best to be a good person. If this still seems vague, try to remember the following tips for directing positive karma into your life.

How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.Wayne Dyer

Here are 6 Ways to Create Good Karma

karma meme
1. Tell the Truth

Anytime you tell a lie, even if it’s a small one, you set yourself up for deceit and hidden agendas from other people. Also, others won’t trust you as much once they find out you have been lying.

The old saying “honesty is the best policy” still holds true today – telling the truth allows people into your life who also tell the truth. Not only will you attract trustworthy people into your life, but you will feel better knowing that you’re living authentically without having to cover up lies with more lies.

Lying becomes exhausting after a while anyway, so you could even argue that it’s better for your health to tell the truth from the get-go.

2. Live Purposefully

Whatever you do in life, do it fully and set clear intentions for what you want. Don’t be afraid to go after your goals, and try to help others along your journey to fulfillment as well. Put out your best effort and true self into the world, and the universe will send you experiences and people to match your energy.

3. Help People

Expanding upon the last point, helping others creates good karma because others will be more likely to help you should you need it. A life lived for others is never a life wasted, so use your unique talents and traits to help others along this crazy rollercoaster of life. They will appreciate your help, and you will make an ever-lasting mark on their life.

Not to mention, when you help others, you also help yourself. If you have been feeling a bit empty or lost lately, just simply offer your help to someone. Everyone needs a purpose in life and helping people should always be a part of that purpose.

4. Meditate

When everything else fails, just go within and quiet your mind. Pay attention to the thoughts in your brain, and make sure they stay positive so you can continue to attract positivity.

When your thoughts become frazzled, you’re more prone to bad karma because you haven’t cleared a space in your head and heart for the universal energy to flow through. It’s important to connect with your highest self often and clear your head so you can put your best self forward into the world and exude good energy.

5. Practice Compassion and Kindness

If you want compassion and kindness from others, you have to give it as well. Life works in cycles of giving and receiving, and the more you give, the more you will receive.

Everyone fights tough battles on a daily basis, so remember to show kindness to them and empathize with their struggles. Try to help as many people as you can by spreading kindness – the world can never have enough kindness.

karma meme
6. Remember the Big Picture

While life may seem like a series of uncontrollable, atrocious events on the surface, remember to look beyond the illusions and remind yourself what you’re really here for. We all came here to heal past karma and become the best versions of ourselves, so keep this in mind each day when you wake up.

Will your thoughts and actions today represent someone who wants good or bad things to happen? You can invite positive events and people into your life by remembering that you came from a place of pure love, and embodying that energy once again.

This world could use a lot more good energy, and it all begins with you. You can reflect this energy onto others and therefore change the world. Stop feeling so small when you have the whole universe inside of you!

We want to hear from you! What are you doing to create good karma in the world? 

3 Ways to Grant Your Own Wishes (Law of Attraction)

Do you ever wish you had a magic lamp with a genie you could call upon to give you exactly what you wanted in life? Sometimes it might seem like life unravels in ways that you have no control over, but you CAN actually influence the circumstances you encounter through a process called The Law of Attraction.

This simply means that your thoughts translate into energy. Therefore, you determine the energy that gets returned to you.

Even though having a genie to grant you anything you desire would make life easier, you can actually be your own genie! Right now, you possess extraordinary abilities to create the life you have always envisioned – it just requires the right mindset and a strong work ethic.

If you want to begin using the Law of Attraction to give your life a makeover, you can follow these guidelines to finally get the results you want and follow your bliss!

Here are 3 Ways to Grant Your Own Wishes (Without a Genie). Try the Law of Attraction

1. Tell the universe what you want.

You will have to let Source, Spirit, God, or whatever name you call your maker, know what you want before you can receive it. In the same way as conjuring up a genie to grant your wishes, you can meditate or simply call upon your angels and/or spirit guides to ensure your request has been heard loud and clear.

Or, you can write down your desires in a dream journal or on a vision board if you want to reaffirm your wishes to the universe. A study conducted by Dr. Gail Matthews, a psychology professor at Dominican University in California, confirmed that your goals are 42 percent more likely to actualize if you write them down. So, make sure you make yourself crystal-clear to the universe about what you want, and stick with it.

Things all begin with thoughts, so you have to align your thoughts with what you want to see more of in your life. If you want to change something about your life or attain goals, you have to get comfortable with asking for help sometimes to get where you’d like to be!

2. Have faith and take action to make your dreams manifest.

Creation requires action in order for what you want to materialize in the physical plane. Change begins to happen when unshakable faith meets dedicated action. The universe will help you along your journey, but you must also put in some elbow grease to get what you want.

Think about it this way: If want an A on an upcoming test in school, belief alone will probably not get you the grade you want. You might just be a good guesser and ace the test without studying; however, most of the time, it requires faith coupled with good old-fashioned studying to earn that A.

No matter what you want, whether it’s more money, a new job, or a date with a coworker, you do have to work for it. A lot of people give up on the Law of Attraction when they don’t see results, forgetting that their actions can make a big impact on their lives.

Belief alone usually will not bring about enough of a shift in your reality; make sure you use your intuition and listen to your heart to find out the next steps to take to realize your dreams.

3. Allow space for changes to happen in your life.

Now that you have asked the universe for what you want, and relied on faith mixed with action to create change, you can open up your life to let the transformational energy in. You can literally attract whatever you want once you learn how powerful your mind really is. Every thought that you focus on will either launch you into a state of bliss and new experiences or keep you tied down to your current circumstances.

If you keep a positive mindset and continually work toward your dreams, the Law of Attraction WILL work in your favor. You may not see a sizable difference in your life overnight; it might take weeks or even months for the changes to set in, but just keep your faith and exercise a little patience. Energy flows where your attention goes, so changes must happen based on the laws of physics. Take this quote into consideration:

Everything is energy and that’s all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help but get that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy. This is physics.”

Write this quote down on a piece of paper and keep it in your room somewhere if you have to – this will remind you that you are, in fact, in control of your life and you can make positive changes for yourself!

Final Words on the Law of Attraction

Make sure to be grateful (in advance) for the positive changes it helped you make in your life, and use these three suggestions in the future when you have a big goal in mind that you want to achieve. Despite what you have been led to believe, you are a powerful, extraordinary being capable of living a life that truly makes you happy. Don’t ever settle for less; instead, remember your origins and call on the universe to guide you in renovating your life so that you feel proud to live it.

9 Signs It’s Time to Detox Your Life

“Detox your life by clearing out fake friends, dead-end jobs, and players posing as life partners.” – Thema Davis, Ph.D

The need to detoxify your life is a direct result of an overworked and overscheduled and overwhelmed lifestyle that has (somehow) been accepted by most people as ‘normal’ and ‘fact-of-life’, which is far from the truth. We have less time while taking on more responsibilities.

Materialism and consumerism have also had toxic effects. It’s commonly accepted as truth that buying more leads to more happiness. Changes within industry, business, and finance have systematically altered our way of life. We acquire more stuff, get into more debt, and work longer hours now than at any other time in history.

We’ve achieved a “higher standard of living” at the expense of a lower quality of life. Dr. Stuart Vyse, author of Going Broke: Why Americans Can’t Hold On To Their Money says: “People may have more physical objects and possessions now than they had in previous generations, but many of them are deeply unhappy.”

Yes, consumerism has often led the way when it comes to toxic behaviors…but it’s certainly not the lone culprit. Here are 9 other signs that it’s time to detox your life.

9 Signs It’s Time to Detox Your Life

phony

1. The presence of too many negative people in your life

The presence of negative people has a draining effect on our psyche. These are the individuals who are constantly judgmental, critical and even abusive. No matter the situation, it always seems that this person has something negative to say.

If that negative person is rubbing their toxicity off on you, it’s time to rectify the situation. Understand this: it’s not your responsibility to bear the brunt of this person. You have the right to live a positive, happy life without negative influence from others.

Don’t talk to or about them, don’t visit their Facebook page, don’t text, email or write; in other words, don’t have anything to do with them. Is this difficult? Yes…but not as difficult as that toxic individual.

2. Detox from pending too much

It’s amazing how many people do not have a monthly budget! When you have no budget, you have no idea how that check is supposed to be spent. There are free spreadsheets available online, apps for your phone, or just use the old fashioned pen and paper.

Another telltale sign that you’re spending too much: excessive use of credit cards. One way to tell is comparing your balance with your available credit. Is it more than half? If it is and you don’t have any plans to pay it off, then you’re spending too much.

Don’t spend more than you earn, folks.

3. Neglecting your body

No need to state the obvious, but the body can become full of toxins. This often happens when we consume too much unhealthy food, drink too much alcohol, or don’t get enough exercise.

Other telltale signs that you’re neglecting your body:

– You can’t fall asleep and night or have excessive difficulty getting out of bed in the morning.

– Your skin is consistently breaking out.

– You get sick often (1-2 times a month).

– You don’t sit down often for a meal; perhaps stopping at fast food joints instead.

– You’re unable to concentrate on your work.

– Your body often feels sore, stiff, or painful.

The solution? Eat right, get in some (any!) exercise three times a week, and get at least seven hours of sleep at night.

detox-program

4. Detox the unnecessary clutter

Then there is “stuff”…meaningless, excessive, pointless “stuff” that seems to just pile up on us. Where is your “stuff” currently? Whether it’s on your desk, in your closet, in the living room, on a table, or in your car, get rid of it.

Usually, clutter results from having an excessive amount of anything – books, papers, toys, shoes, clothes, food, antiques (Mom!) – that occupies space for no particular reason. But it occupies more than just space in your home; it takes up space in your brain.

Physical clutter competes for your attention, decreases performance and increases stress. Do your home, desk, and brain a favor by getting rid of it.

5. Being “connected” 24/7

We strongly believe that overuse and overdependence on technology is toxic. If you don’t believe us, just think: How many people have you seen driving while on a cell phone? Have your kids pulled out a tablet or cell phone at the dinner table? Has a co-worker ignored you or someone else while replying to their 100th text message?

Technology certainly has a role. Advances in technology have resulted in medical advances, educational improvements, scientific discoveries and more. But it’s had a negative impact on our actual connection with each other. Families drift apart, parents bring their work home, kids tap away on Facebook instead of opening their textbook. There’s no real presence of mind with excessive technology use.

Be mindful of how and when you use technology.

6. Having no alone time

Society has placed a premium on the ability to socialize to meet demands placed on both inside and outside of the workplace. Those that value solitude are often seen as outcasts or selfish. There is nothing further from the truth. In fact, solitude is a necessity.

Why is alone time important? Because it…

– Allows your brain to rest.

– Calms down your emotions.

– Prevents burnout.

– Rejuvenates your body.

– Gives time for contemplation and reflection.

At a minimum, try to take 15 minutes to yourself at some time during the day.

7. Constant multitasking

As our lives have become busier, our time has become a luxury most of us can’t afford. To handle these multiple distractions, someone came up with “multitasking” – doing more than one task at a time in order to “get more done.”

Even more impressive (or detrimental), the business world somehow bought into the notion that multitasking was actually possible. If the CEO’s of these companies would have looked at the science behind multitasking, they would have seen that “multitasking” is a serious myth. Here’s why:

– The brain is physically incapable of doing more than two things at once.

– Multitasking is slower and less efficient.

– Multitasking is more stressful and less productive.

Detox from pulling double duty. Single-tasking – concentrating the mind on one task at a time while minimizing distractions – is the one and only answer. Please understand that minimizing or (even better) eliminating distractions is necessary while single-tasking.

8. Neglecting spiritual needs

Religious or spiritual needs are something that ought not to be neglected. Whether you meditate, read scripture, pray, attend church, enjoy the beauty of nature, or something else, doing the things that uplift your spirit is important to your balance and wellbeing.

Try to take at least 20-30 minutes a day tending to these needs. If this is not possible for whatever reason, spend 10-15 minutes to meditate, read scripture, or enjoy some solitude before hitting the pillow.

9. Despise work

For most of us, our job is a necessity…it’s a paycheck. We punch in, do our eight hours the best we can, and get out of there. Searching for and finding the ideal job is a luxury that most of us do not have.

That being said, if your work affects you to a point that it complicates things outside of scheduled work time, whereby thinking about work you: can’t sleep, fight with your spouse, irritate your kids (or vice-versa), have emotional breakdowns or something else, it’s seriously time to consider a job change.

If for some reason you can’t change jobs to detox, try changing the environment. For example, if there’s a co-worker that doesn’t leave you alone, consider getting some earplugs. If you can’t stand your boss, look into a transfer. Try finding something that will make your time at work more tolerable.

11 Meditation Tips for Beginners

For those who have never tried meditation, it can seem like an unproductive, strange way to spend twenty or so minutes of your day. However, meditation offers a slew of benefits to anyone on the planet, and it costs nothing to start up a daily practice.

By meditating regularly, you can increase your vibrational energy, or life force, and even retrain your brain to think positively. If you need some help getting started with meditation, refer to these tips for guidance.

11 Meditation Tips for Beginners

1. Don’t get frustrated with your brain.

In the beginning, you will probably have a hard time just sitting quietly, even for five or ten minutes at a time. It takes time to adjust, as meditation is a foreign concept to many people. However, as long as you make a conscious effort to tune out from everything and go within, you will soon find that the restlessness slowly melts away.

2. Start out with five to twenty minutes each day.

Go easy on yourself when you begin a regular meditation practice – remember, slow and steady wins the race. Meditation is a highly personal journey, and you have to go at your own pace. Do what feels comfortable to you; if you only have ten minutes in the morning before work to meditate, that’s ten minutes you spent relaxing your brain and improving your relationship with yourself.

3. Go to a peaceful place to practice.

This could be anywhere you feel most connected to the stillness within you and the universe – your backyard, the beach, your bedroom, or a quiet meadow in the woods. While you can meditate anywhere, some places will resonate with you more than others, so make sure you choose a spot where you can totally let go and experience the true serenity within your soul.

4. View meditation as a tool to help you grow, not as a chore.

If you look at meditation as just something to knock off your to-do list, you won’t get to experience the full range of benefits that meditation provides. Try to not set aside times to meditate, and instead choose to practice when you really feel like it. Meditate at times when your soul truly longs for it, so that it becomes a method of spiritual growth, and not just a task you need to get done each day.

5. There’s no “right” way to meditate.

A lot of people give up their practice because they can’t completely quiet their mind, they get bored, or they don’t see the benefits of meditation right away. Just because you haven’t reached a state of pure nirvana yet, doesn’t mean that you should judge your personal journey with spirituality. Don’t compare yourself to others or obsess about getting things just right; instead, focus on letting the universal energy flow through you, and give yourself praise after every meditation session.

meditation

6. Focus on your breathing.

The breath represents your life force and connects all of us on Earth. Through our breath, we can channel higher energy and enter a totally new state of being. Take long, deep breaths all the way down into your belly, and picture each breath going deeper within you, healing your entire body. Breathing forms the cornerstone of successful meditation practice. Furthermore, it will help you increase your focus and awareness of your thoughts.

meditation - breathing

7. Don’t label your thoughts as “good” or “bad.”

Let the thoughts enter your brain, but avoid attaching them to labels. Just let them move freely through your mind, observe them, and let them pass. Assigning labels to anything causes our brain to form judgments, and therefore deeply engrains certain thoughts and feelings within us about that label. Learn to just observe everything in your inner and outer world as if you had come from another planet and had no idea what “good” or “bad” even looked like.

8. Create a meditation friendly environment.

If you practice in your room, you can light candles or incense, put on calming music, or rub your favorite essential oils on your skin to help you transition into a peaceful state of mind. Make your surroundings work for you, and add to them if necessary. If you go outside to meditate, you can still bring crystals or whatever is symbolic to you to guide you into relaxation.

9. Remove any distractions.

In just the same way as you can add tranquility into your environment, you can also remove anything that hinders your practice. Get rid of your phone, computer, or other electronic devices if they impair your connection to source energy. Remove any other stressors from your room, such as to-do lists, bills you have to pay, or schoolwork you need to get done. You can come back to those any time after your meditation practice but just focus on clearing your space so you can get the most out of what you’re doing in the present moment – meditating.

removing any distraction

10. Try different forms of meditation.

Not everyone enjoys just sitting in lotus pose, and believe it or not, you can meditate in many other ways. Yoga is also a form of meditation. This practice involves holding certain poses and flowing through different movements to achieve mind-body-soul unity. You can also engage in “walking meditation,” in which you fully focus on the act of walking, and helps you develop mindfulness. You can test out different styles, or combine them, to find one that relaxes you the most.

11. Check out guided meditation videos.

You can find many of these videos on YouTube, or even popular yoga websites where teachers help you adjust to regular meditation practice. It can be difficult in the beginning to silence your mind, so having someone guide you through the process can make it easier. While you don’t need a teacher to meditate, others can offer you advice and techniques to help you get started on the right foot.

yoga and meditation

Final Thoughts on Trying Meditation

Join the discussion: What meditation tips can you share with beginners?  Share in the conversation below! Or, head over to Facebook to join the discussion.

5 Ways Spirituality Can Enhance a Relationship

Are you exploring your spirituality with your partner?

Most of us believe in some “Higher Power” greater than ourselves; call it God, Mother Earth, the Universe, Nature, Energy or something else. We see this tremendously complex, massive and elaborate place called Earth and often contemplate our role within it.

As we continue through our lives, the desire to live a spiritual existence often follows. Of course, we each may follow different spiritual paths. However, most of us pray, worship, and choose to believe in some transcendentally higher purpose. And this can certainly impact our relationships. In fact, we often desire to share these spiritual elements of our lives with our significant other.

There are numerous dynamics in our relationships. But spirituality does seem to play a primary role for many couples. The reasons for spiritual connectedness differ, but one common element is the thinking that it may empower and sustain the relationship itself. This makes sense, as often we associate spirituality with feelings of peace, harmony, love, and presence. Each of these are elements that are often missing from intimate relationships.

Many of us do, in fact, choose to pursue our spiritual journey with a beloved someone. Research shows that those who do seemingly experience an enhanced quality of life. Indeed, the benefits of many spiritually connected couples include economic success, a longer lifespan, better physical health, and a more stable, productive environment for children.

But why is belief a stabilizing factor in relationships? Is there something to the notion that a “family that prays together, stays together”?

“Spiritual relationship is far more precious than physical. Physical relationship divorced from spiritual is body without soul.” – Mahatma Gandhi

Here are 5 ways spirituality can enhance a relationship…

1. Spiritual connectedness increases happiness

Those who share similar spiritual beliefs often have longer relationships. In what is considered to be the first significant study associated with relationship and belief across ethnic lines, researchers concluded that a definitive link exists between a couple’s belief and the satisfaction derived from a relationship.

Researchers found that about 40 percent of African-Americans, 29 percent of whites, and 29 percent of Hispanics attended religious services with their significant other on a regular basis.

On the other hand, white couples have been recorded as having more satisfying relationships outside of the study. However, this gap narrows when taking into account religious or spiritual connection. In other words, non-whites that share a spiritual connection often have deeper relationships than Caucasians.

Bradford Wilcox, co-author and director of the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia, states: “What this study suggests is that religion is one of the key factors narrowing the racial divide in relationship quality in the United States.”

2. Spiritual couples are (emotionally) healthier

In a Columbia University study, spiritual or religious practices often thicken the brain region associated with counteracting depression.

In a study published by JAMA Psychiatry, 103 adults were questioned in regard to their religious or spiritual practices. Interestingly, those that valued their practices highly displayed a thicker area in the part of the brain that offsets depressive symptoms.

According to Lisa Miller, professor, and director of Clinical Psychology at Columbia University: “The new study links this extremely large protective benefit of spirituality or religion to previous studies which identified large expanses of the cortical thinning in specific regions of the brain…at risk for major depression.”

Spirituality in relationship

Taking into account that depression is one of the major causes of divorce, the results of this study are immensely important. The devoted are apparently better equipped biologically to counteract the precursors of depression, which can have a positive impact on the emotional satisfaction one derives from their relationship.

3. Prayer increases commitment

Prayer seemingly increases commitment for each other. In a Journal of Family Psychology study, Partner-focused petitionary prayer (PFPP) – an aspect of prayer where one partner devotes time praying for the other – shows an increase in levels of commitment and relationship satisfaction.

The participant groups – 316 college students and 205 married, African-American couples – demonstrated similar results in relationship commitment and satisfaction. The couples also reported feeling more confident in the stability of their relationship.

“Together the studies suggest the continued investigation of PFPP as a potentially important vehicle for enhancing relationship outcomes,” the study concluded.

4. Spirituality = Kindness

People often use acts of kindness as a benchmark for how effective spiritual and religious practices are. This is fair, considering that many “religious” or “spiritual” people are far from what is generally considered “kind.”

The same can be said for how people measure the effectiveness of spiritual or religious practice within a relationship. Do these practices make a difference in how couples treat one another? Research says “yes.”

In the Journal of Family Psychology, researchers tested 164 married couples who were about to have their first child–a very stressful event–to see if proclaimed spirituality specifically impacted (non-anecdotal) the relationship.

Interactions between the couples were recorded on four occasions: during late pregnancy stages, and the baby’s age at 3 months, 6 months, and 12 months. The couples rated both their own and their partner’s spiritually intimate behaviors during these times. In addition, each gave their viewpoint on the sanctity of their marriage.

After they analyzed both the behaviors and ratings of each couple, researchers noted positive behaviors such as mutual problem solving, asking for the other person’s point of view, affection, and shared humor.

“Spiritual intimacy is very, very important and undeniably a construct that matters,” says Dr. Annette Mahoney, a psychology professor at Bowling Green State University and the study’s lead author.

5. Spirituality relieves stress

Stress, in varying degrees, plays a role in each of our lives – work, kids, finances, family obligations, etc. According to the Mayo Clinic, spirituality helps to relieve these stressors in a few different ways, specifically by helping you:

– Connect with yourself and the world.

– Expand your support network.

– Feel a sense of purpose.

– Have a healthier life.

– Release control.

You’ll notice that each of these plays a direct role in our relationships. Health, connectedness, purpose, control, and support are all applicable in how healthy (or unhealthy) your relationships are.

More importantly, in relieving stress through spiritual or religious practices, you diminish the likelihood that stress will negatively impact your relationship. Spirituality does this by nurturing your relationship and creating a deeper understanding and appreciation of your loved one.

Join the discussion: Has spirituality enhanced your relationship?  Add your story in the conversation below!

 

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