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9 Signs it’s Time to Let Go of a Relationship

Letting go of a relationship that we did (or still do) care about is a very difficult thing for us all. Whether it’s a significant other, friend, or family member, we naturally do not want to bring any hurt upon them or ourselves. There are times, however, when letting go of someone may be the best thing to do. That fact is true even when it doesn’t feel good in the present. After all, this is your life. Thus, only you can make the ultimate decision whether or not that person fits into it.

“All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.”Havelock Ellis

Here are 9 signs it’s time to let go and move on

1. The person unremittingly breaks your trust.

There is a reason trust is number one – because trust is the most important factor in every kind of relationship. Trust is the foundation upon which a relationship is built, and it is mistrust that often destroys it. Nothing weakens a relationship more than deceit.

Something to understand: when you trust someone and they continuously break your trust, it’s not your fault. It’s theirs. You might naturally want to immediately blame yourself for having trusted someone only to have them break that trust. Don’t.

Only through experience do we determine whether or not someone is trustworthy. Whether you remain in a great relationship or not, you’ll learn a valuable life lesson through this experience.

2. The person is incessantly needy.

A good relationship is one in which you can depend on someone, and vice-versa. However, too much dependence is a sign of neediness. This is a problem because neediness drains you of your time and energy, including the time and energy necessary to maintain other relationships and take care of yourself.

People who are incessantly needy always seem to be coming to you – for pampering, favors, money, praise, or something else. You may begin to feel that the person is an emotional ball and chain. If a relationship begins to feel this way, it may be time to reconsider why you have a relationship like this in the first place.

3. You change who you are around that person.

You should never feel the need to be another person just to accommodate someone. It’s exhausting, first of all, and it is a telltale sign that the relationship is not consensual. There is some element of that individual that does not jive with the person you are.

Whether the person verbalizes their dissatisfaction with you or you innately know you must change in order for them to accept you doesn’t matter. What matters is that you do not feel comfortable being yourself, which shouldn’t be acceptable to you under any circumstance.

end your relationship

4. You don’t feel positive after talking to or seeing them.

A positive relationship should mostly be uplifting. Sure, you will face some rough patches along the way, but a healthy relationship is mostly a constructive experience. You should be accepting of each other – supportive, and responsive.

If you hit a point where the positive aspects of the relationship are sporadic, it may be time to move on. You may actually come to a point where you attempt to avoid the person, while hoping to maintain the relationship. This may sound crazy, but people do it all the time. “Maybe it’ll get better,” they think to themselves. Perhaps it will, but it’s still not a normal, functioning, or healthy relationship.

5. They don’t actively listen to you.

Attentiveness and awareness when you are speaking is a sign of a good relationship. A person that values your relationship will make your presence a priority, including when you’re trying to have a conversation.

Relationship goals

Sure, some people don’t have the best attention spans; but that’s no excuse for constantly checking their phone, looking away, talking to other people, and generally displaying apathy when you speak. It’s certainly not acceptable for them to constantly redirect the conversation back onto themselves, completely disregarding your thoughts and feelings.

6. They don’t make the relationship a priority.

Busyness is a part of life – work, kids, marriage, finances, etc. The majority of our time is meticulously accounted for. However, people who value their relationships will not allow the fact that they are busy undermining your relationship.

Understandably, the get-togethers and all-nighters may be drastically limited. However, with the advent of technology comes the ability to stay connected to each other, even if you cannot hang out at a bar until 2 a.m. anymore.

Make relationship a priority

If someone is not willing to take some time for you, be it through a quick phone call or text, they are effectively showing indifference – not a good trait to have in a positive relationship.

7. You are not able to depend on them.

Have you ever been there when a friend needed it most, only to have them disappear when you asked them to reciprocate? If you have, it’s not a pleasant feeling … in fact, it’s downright disheartening.

People who are undependable often find an assortment of excuses. However, consistent behavior of this kind usually means one thing: they are not dependable. Someone undependable is generally not a person worthy of your presence.

 8. You find yourself forcing someone to care.

Another fact about relationships: they are based on freedom – the freedom to love and care for someone … or not. Not everyone for whom you hold deep feelings will offer them in return. Genuine relationships are made up of two individuals who have chosen to love and care for each other. It’s easy for someone to show up in your life and tell you that they love you; it’s much more difficult for them to demonstrate that love consistently.

relationship

Those who choose to remain in your life and steadily demonstrate their love and care with wholehearted acceptance are the type of individuals you want in your relationships.

9. The person is not consistent in their behavior.

We are not talking about dependability here. We’re talking about wishy-washy, flaky behavior, and general inconsistency in applying the principles that make up a good relationship: trust, acceptance, positivity, attentiveness, and prioritization.

Inconsistent behavior in any of these areas is a potential sign of a negative relationship. As mentioned, only you can decide if the behavior merits termination of the relationship. People are flawed. Flaws are natural; flaws are part of acceptance, in fact. However, it’s the degree to which a person accepts these flaws and continues to allow them to influence your relationship that truly matters.

We encourage you to evaluate the overall health of your relationships and make the best decision for you. We wish you many healthy, wonderful relationships in the future.

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12 Critical Things You Should Never Tolerate

During this age of great transformation and unrest, many of us have realized we must eliminate all the negativity in our lives to usher in a more positive lifestyle. Make sure you don’t allow these toxic people or habits into your life so that you can continue to evolve into your best self. Don’t tolerate these influences even a minute longer.

12 Critical Things You Should Never Tolerate

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1 – People Pleasing

When you seek approval from others, you diminish the power of your own opinion. No matter how many people agree or disagree with your decision, they will never be able to make the decision for you. Also, you can never make everyone happy, because everyone takes different paths in their quest for happiness. Give up these last-ditch efforts to appease your ego, and instead, just focus on what makes you happy.

2 – Negative Self-Talk

“Be mindful of your self-talk; it’s a conversation with the universe.” – David James Lees

Every time that little voice in your head talks to you, it can either poison or nourish your soul. It can either empower you or cut you down, so pay attention to what it says. Your thoughts create your reality, as you probably already know, so make sure those thoughts align with what you want your world to look like.

3 – Do Not Tolerate Unsupportive Friends

If you have a circle of friends who always bash your ideas and dreams, or dismiss your latest accomplishments when you talk about them, you need some new friends. Friends should lift you up and give you positive reinforcement, not cut you down and make you feel anything less than amazing. Don’t ever hesitate to cut people out of your life for your own sake; you deserve to be surrounded by loving, positive people.

4 – Staying in the Comfort Zone

“A comfort zone is a beautiful place, but nothing ever grows there.” – Unknown

Obviously, the comfort zone attracts many people, because they feel safe there. It’s a soft landing pad compared to the rest of the world, but no magic happens here. To grow, you must go beyond yourself and try new things. You can’t worry your days away and expect your life to change drastically; you have to let yourself experience the world first-hand, which means leaving the comfort zone and all its normality behind.

5 – Following the Status Quo

“Follow your heart, not the herd.”

When you blindly let others dictate how you will live your life and what path you should take, you will never reach your full potential. Take the path less traveled, and leave your own imprint on the world. You were not made to fit in; you were born to stand out.

6 – Working at a Job You Hate

This cannot be stressed enough – your job takes up so much of your time; do you want to keep doing something you hate to pay the bills? Never settle for a job just to feel secure and steady paycheck. Even if you make less money by following your passions, you can always adjust your lifestyle to accommodate your income. Doing mundane or highly stressful tasks day in and day out can take a huge toll on you emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Don’t sacrifice your well-being to get bills paid. Your happiness matters much more than money ever will.

Don't tolerate a bad job

7 – Never Tolerate Neglecting Your Health

Health is wealth, as they say, so make sure you treat your body, mind, and soul with love and respect. If you don’t have your health, you can’t enjoy all of life’s wonders, so put your health first. Eat well, sleep enough, drink plenty of water, and move your body. Remember, feeling good begins and ends with you.

8 – Letting Money RuleYour Life

You’d be surprised how many people let a piece of paper dictate their lives. While we live in a society that requires money, you should not put money at the forefront of your existence to some extent. We come into this world with nothing, and we leave with nothing, so remember that next time you feel stressed about finances.

Don't tolerate money ruling your life

9 – Explaining Yourself Time and Time Again

Some people, sadly, will not understand or support you or your ideals. Most of the time, your family members tend to give the harshest criticism, because they feel that they know what’s best for you. However, you can only explain yourself so much before it becomes a fruitless effort. Just live your truth and abide by your own rules for your life. Don’t tolerate wasting your energy on constantly explaining yourself to others.

10 – Not Being Happy

While happiness is subjective, everyone should always live in a way that honors their souls. So many people today think they must live in turmoil because life was just set up that way, but you can always change your circumstances. Never settle for a life that doesn’t make you ridiculously happy.

not being happy

11 – Being Lazy

Technology, online shopping, grocery stores, and automation, generally, have made us a very lazy society. However, you still have to work for what you want in life, such as a new job, a healthier body, or maintaining your own garden. Never let excuses stop you from obtaining results and following your dreams.

don't tolerate being lazy

12 – Letting People Walk All Over You

There is a fine line between being nice to people and becoming a doormat for them. Simply put, allowing people to control your emotions and trample all over you shows that you lack respect for yourself. Speak up and tell them that the behavior will not be tolerated anymore, and they will probably respect you for standing up for yourself. If not, let them go. You deserve to treat yourself well, and you deserve others who will do the same.

6 Ways to Start Waking Up Happy

Some of us absolutely despise walking into work in the morning. Why? Because we’re not happy morning people, that’s why. Unlike the other species of human being that actually enjoys the morning-time, we need either: (1) time or (2) caffeine.

It’s not uncommon to be an Eeyore (See “Pooh, Winnie the”) in the morning, especially in the workplace. A lack of energy and a desire to communicate can make mornings rough. Throw 7 AM into the mix and you become that person who mumbles a barely audible “…morning…” while pacing to your workspace, hoping nobody says anything to you that actually requires a response.

That being said, there are things we can do to your make mornings a little brighter (pun intended). In fact, here are 6 ways to brighten (pun intended) up your morning…

6 Ways to Start Waking Up Happy

1 – Let that sunshine in!

OH, YES… despiser of the morning ritual, we know your secrets. How you just love to keep the shades and curtains fully closed, hoping that the sun doesn’t peer in to disrupt you of that precious shuteye.

Here’s some motivation for you, though. When you allow the sunshine to make its presence felt, your body stops making a little hormone called melatonin. This hormone creates the heavy sleepiness feeling that is felt just before sleep and just after waking up. This hormone is your enemy when attempting to become somewhat functional in the morning.

Here’s a little trick if you are dreading the idea of sun peering into your bedroom during your zzz’s…buy an eye mask. Or don’t buy one and just take a cold shower…or not…either way.

2 – Listen to some happy tunes

What is it about a good jam that just boosts our mood? Seriously…when you’re in a bad mood or just downright tired, put on a good tune and see what happens. There’s pep in our step, our brain is engaged, and that dreary feeling just dissipates.

This happens because music is thought to create endorphins, which are feel-good chemicals that create excitement while also making us more energetic. One piece of advice on this, however: don’t play the same some over and over again. You may just end up despising the song, crushing your alarm clock, or both.

It’s a good idea to make the music upbeat. Create a playlist of some sort with just songs that get you into a dancing frenzy; so no “Everybody Hurts” in other words…

3 – Stretch

When you sleep the body often contorts into positions that are not ideal. Ever wake up and try to turn your head, only to find out that this simple movement causes excruciating pain? Well, that’s what happens when you unconsciously attempt to rotate your neck 90 degrees in your sleep.

Stretching regimentally or with just a few quick movements brings an assortment of benefits. Among these various benefits are kicking your circulatory system into gear while awakening your nervous system, which results in feeling much more invigorated.

stretches to wake up happy

In addition to awakening the body, stretching also relieves symptoms of both stress and anxiety, while improving overall health. As it pertains to waking up, the stimulation of blood flow to the spine and nervous system are the most significant benefits.

Have you ever wondered (like I have) why Yoga has attracted an almost cult-like following? Well, now you have your answer. In fact, yoga offers huge benefits.

4 – Drink fluids (especially water) first thing

When you sleep, you are essentially fasting for 6-8 (or more) hours. You are abstaining from the ingestion of both drink and food for a pretty significant period of time. So, while you may indeed be losing a little weight, it causes some unpleasant effects when you awake.

Part of sleeping is that your body becomes dehydrated, which is natural because no fluid intake for a couple of hours usually results in some degree of the symptom. When your body experiences dehydration, the blood flow to your brain is reduced to a significant degree. As a result, the brain is more lethargic and less responsive to stimulation.

Drink water

To counteract this effect, drink up to 32 ounces (two big, full cups) of water upon waking. This can be a difficult habit to attain because the brain is not fully attuned in the morning, making it easy to forget. Even when you remember, the thought of drinking a significant amount of water is less than appealing. However, the benefits are significant especially if you’re a morning Grinch.

5 – Be present and happy for all you have

As with any time of day, the act of being present in your thoughts is important. As mentioned, the morning is a time of day that significantly challenges your cognitive processes. Your natural instinct may be to immediately begin thinking about everything that you need to do in order to get out the door. Even those who have made a commitment to the acts of mindfulness and single-tasking find the morning to be an especially difficult time of day.

wake up happy

When your thoughts begin to wander (which they probably will) remember to take one step at a time. Hopefully, after reading this article your morning routine will consist of awaking to sunshine, doing a few quick stretches, putting on some music, drinking some water, getting a little exercise, and hopping in the shower.

Make a conscious decision to take your wandering thoughts and turn them into a present, single-tasking routine. As a result, you’ll find your mornings to be more manageable and productive while creating a good frame of mind to carry forward throughout the day. In short, you will feel happy.

6 – Hit the gym

It certainly doesn’t hurt to have some kind of exercise routine built into your morning schedule. Aside from the obvious health benefits, a 30-45 minute exercise session will get your heart pumping, create some much-needed energy, and put you in a happy state of mind to start out your day.

workout to stay happy

To clear up a common misconception, your exercise routine does not need to be rigorous. Of course, if you have some specific health goals in mind, it is certainly more beneficial to have some kind of structure to the routine. If you are just trying to gain some energy, you’ll find that even a quick 15-30 minute session of body exercises, biking, jogging, or weight lifting will do the trick.

Do not feel that you need to stick to any one specific set of exercises. Instead, do what is most enjoyable to you. As long as you’re getting your body in motion, you’ll immediately feel the tremendous benefits that exercise brings in the morning.

5 Tips to Keep your New Year’s Resolution Alive

According to a study from the Journal of Clinical Psychology at the University of Scranton, only 8% of Americans achieve success with their New Year’s resolutions. Unfortunately, many people make them on NYE, then quickly forget about them a few weeks later, or let their minds convince them that they could never accomplish their goals, and give up on the idea altogether. If this sounds like you, use these tips keep your resolutions alive well into the new year:

5 ways to keep your New Year’s resolution going strong:

1. Strive for excellence, not perfection

No one is perfect, so don’t beat yourself up if you fall off the wagon. Just pick yourself back up, and remind yourself that each day serves as a new beginning. You can easily dust yourself off and get back on the horse, no matter how far you’ve fallen. Just because it’s taking longer than you thought to reach your goal, doesn’t mean you should accept defeat and leave your resolutions in the dust. After all, you might be only a few feet away from the mountaintop without even knowing it, so keep striving toward your goals if it feels right in your heart.

2. Remember your “why”

Why do you want to achieve the goals you set for yourself? How will this make your life better, and make you feel more fulfilled? Reference your “why” often so that you can remind yourself what made you start this journey in the first place. When you remember why you set a certain goal, you will be much more likely to follow it through to the finish.

3. Practice positive affirmations

If you don’t already, set aside a few minutes each morning to set your intentions for the day. Make time to sit alone with your thoughts, and notice any negative thinking patterns. Then, try and transmute these negative thoughts into positive affirmations by reminding yourself of all the reasons why you can stick to your resolutions. Say things to yourself such as “I am powerful and can reach any goal I have in mind” or “Nothing will stop me from achieving my goals.” This will set the stage for your day, and help you stay on track.

positive affirmations - resolution

Also, don’t be afraid to practice positive affirmations at any time you need them, whether that be at your desk at work, at the gym, or at school. Simple, positive reminders can really help you stay focused and keep your energy levels up.

4. Set small, measurable goals to keep you motivated

If you have several large goals set for the year, you might become discouraged if you feel you have to climb mountains in one setting just to reach your dreams. Instead, aim for the ledges along the way up, and set realistic time frames for achieving each goal.  Break up your big goals into smaller milestones that you set over the course of a few weeks or a few months; this will make your goal seem more attainable, and help you stay motivated.

set goals - resolution

For example, maybe you want to lose fifty pounds. This can seem like a daunting task, especially if you have never developed a steady workout routine before. However, you can achieve your overall goal easier if you break it up into smaller ones. Maybe you could set a goal to lose ten pounds each month for five months, or five pounds a month for ten months. Set goals that won’t overwhelm you, and make sure you congratulate yourself each time you hit your target.

5. Replace negative thoughts with positive ones

As aforementioned, negative thoughts can drain you of energy and make you anxious about the outcome of your goals. Instead of worrying, talking down on yourself, and getting angry at yourself, empower yourself with positive thinking practices and good energy. Become aware of negative thoughts, but don’t become attached to them. Just let them come into your brain, and then focus your attention on something else. Meditation provides a great way to practice this because it allows you to take the role of the silent observer of your thoughts, which will help you identify negative thinking patterns.

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Tell Us About Your New Year’s Resolution

Join the discussion: What tips can you add to this list to help people keep their resolution going strong?  Add to the conversation below!

10 Simple Ways to Add Spirituality to Your Daily Life

When you look around at the state of the world today, you might see disarray, confusion, and fear. One of the major reasons it seems so imbalanced is because its people are greatly imbalanced — but you can find stability again. Many people often lose touch with themselves, the Earth, and others simply because they don’t spend enough time developing positive spirituality. If neglected for too long, this can wreak havoc on the mind and body.

If you have been wondering how to find simple yet effective ways to incorporate spirituality into your daily life and create more balance within yourself, these tips can help you get on the right track.

10 Simple Ways to Add Spirituality to Your Daily Life:

1. Pay attention to your breathing

One of the easiest ways to connect with the Higher Source is through our breath. If your breath is staggered, sharp, and nervous, you will likely feel this way on the inside. Also, your brain can dictate your breathing pace, depending on your thinking. For example, if you have a million things on your mind and flit from one thought to another, your breathing will probably reflect your mental state. Slow down your thoughts, slow down your breath, and relax. Easier said than done, but you will notice your breathing regulated over time if you put awareness into every breath you take.

2. Stay in the present

“If you are depressed you are living in the past, if you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present.”  Lao Tzu

Don’t let your mind wander too far into the past or the future because one has passed, and the other hasn’t. You can only control your thoughts at this very moment, so stay present and enjoy life.

3. Meditate

Meditation builds on tip #2, forcing you to stop whatever you’re doing and become aware of your thoughts, body, and breath. Right now! If you don’t practice meditation already, the next tip might help you get started with regular practice. This will seem hard at first. That’s because our minds and bodies are so used to rushing around from one place and one thought to another without much rest at all. Meditation will allow you to relax into a deep, peaceful state and guide you to develop a closer bond with the universe. This ancient practice is at the heart of spirituality. and will help you transcend the 3D world into a limitless, loving, and open one.

4. Walk outside… barefoot

Known as “grounding” or “earthing,” going outside barefoot and sinking your feet into the grass directly connects you with the Earth. It will help you balance your root chakra, which governs the connection with your physical body. Running or walking outside barefoot allows Earth’s energy to move through you, which can help you feel more secure and balanced.

5. Drink a lot of water

Water has many benefits, including flushing out toxins, keeping you hydrated, helping with brain functions, and giving you energy. Dehydration can lead to many problems, such as confusion, dizziness, and even heart palpitations. Water keeps your body functioning properly. Of course, a healthy body plays a big role in the evolution of consciousness and spirituality.

drink water - Spirituality

6. Take your exercise outdoors when possible

There’s something incredible feeling about exercising outdoors. It doesn’t matter if you prefer to practice Yoga, jog through the park, or walk the dog.  Just get outside and make it happen!

Some studies prove that outdoor exercise often offers better benefits than indoor activities. But, that’s only the tip of the iceberg!

best exercise for Spirituality

Being outside makes you feel at one with Earth. The chirping of the birds as you stretch or feel a cool breeze as you work out makes outdoor exercise a transcendental experience for many.

7. Help others

Volunteering or simply performing acts of kindness will deepen your compassion and help you grow spiritually. By offering a helping hand to others, you will consequently help yourself. Giving is receiving; every time you extend your help to people, they will be much more likely to help you when you need it.

8. Listen to conscious music

Pay attention to what you listen to. Why? Because the frequency of the music will influence either an increase or decrease in your spirituality. In general, the music on the radio that talks about promiscuous hookups, parties, and excessive materialism resonates at a lower frequency and doesn’t send out a loving, peaceful message.

listen to music

Listen closely to the lyrics in your playlist, and make a special one that only involves positive, uplifting verse.  You’ll be surprised at how much better you feel, and what types of experiences you encounter.

9. Give love to yourself and others

One of the simplest and most rewarding ways to feel more spiritual is to offer yourself and others love any chance you get. Compliment others, give hugs to strangers, love yourself no matter what, and remember that you are to be the change. Love will change this world because it changes you and helps you spread that change outwardly.

self love - add Spirituality

10. Visit a special spot in nature

You might have found a sacred garden or a cove at the beach that resonates with your soul. Visit this place as much as possible to help you connect with your true nature.  Not only will it connect you with yourself. But you’ll also connect with the healing energy from the Earth as well.

Join the conversation:  What simple ways do you add spirituality to your daily life?  Share in the discussion below!

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