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8 Simple Rules to Make a Relationship Last

January 26, 2015 by Power of Positivity

The beginning of a relationship is always exciting. Two people are attracted to each other, begin to discover more about one another, and can see the relationship grow. Everything about a new relationship is novel and thrilling.

Once the relationship has matured, however, the difficult work begins. The phase of everything being a new adventure is mostly over and the focus switches to making the relationship work. Of course, there are still new and exciting things that happen, it’s just not as common. It’s easy to become complacent with another person and take them for granted past a certain phase.

Building and maintaining a long-term relationship can require some work, but it’s also incredibly rewarding. Watching the other person grow, start a family, buy a house, and otherwise share your life with someone else is wonderful.

These 8 simple rules will help your relationship last:

Consider these everyday relationship rules.

1. Create a shared dream for your life

In the midst of paying bills, cleaning the house, working long hours, and taking care of other responsibilities, it is easy to lose sight of the more important and long-term reasons for being together.

According to Dr. Jane Greer, a marriage and family therapist in New York City: “Successful couples quickly develop a mindfulness of ‘us,’ of being coupled…they have a shared vision, saying things like, ‘We want to plan to buy a house, we want to take a vacation to such-and-such a place, we like to do ‘X’, we think we want to start a family at ‘Y’ time.’”

The most beneficial time to do this is at the beginning of a marriage, partnership, etc. Doing so sets a solid foundation upon which to build your life together. Another benefit of early and shared planning is that you are much more likely to make that dream a reality.

2. Maintain a physical connection

In any long-term relationship, physical intimacy (in any form) is far more than just physical. It’s crucial in maintaining the health of your emotional connection, as well. The physical act of love is something that only you two share and revel in. It’s also vital in reigniting the passion and bringing you back together if you drift apart.

As with most elements of a relationship, it is easy to spark this physical connection in the beginning. It’s more difficult with work, finances, kids, home, physical changes, and whatever else makes intimacy more difficult.

Prioritizing intimacy with your partner is a great way to keep the passion flowing. The stresses that come with work, finances, and family will only be a minor roadblock as you continue to re-discover your physical attraction for one another.

3. Keep communication lines open

We know, we know, you’ve probably already heard that communication is important in a relationship. “Thanks a lot, Captain Obvious.”

Maybe… but consider pondering this for just a moment: communication is the common denominator in everything involved in a relationship. It can be at the beginning, middle, or end phases of a relationship. It is involved in everything, big or small – buying a car or home, sharing emotions, wanting kids, forgetting to pay the bill, taking the garbage out…everything involves being able to communicate effectively.

Communication is also a vital element in understanding each other. You may think that you already know your partner, but do you know about their day? Do you know if they’re overwhelmed, feeling sick, unappreciated, or a hundred other things they may be thinking or feeling? Open communication is the only way to maintain equilibrium while further progressing in a relationship.

Good communication is all about being comfortable enough to tell your partner anything – good or bad. Understandably, we don’t want to hurt each other’s feelings by being abrupt and straightforward. However, that is part of open communication: being honest whether you do or don’t feel like it.

4. Emphasize the positive

We’re somewhat backtracking to communication (everything, remember?), but it’s essential to demonstrate your appreciation of the other person. Emphasizing the positive is relatively easy when the attraction sparks fly when compared to a 10, 20, or 30-year marriage. It’s also much easier to do when things are going well. It’s still very important to tell the other person the things that you love about them.

The fact that relationships do get stressful and busy is exactly why you should reiterate your appreciation of your partner. Is your woman beautiful to you no matter what? Tell her such. Does your man work overtime to provide for the family? Tell him how much it’s appreciated.

(Men, don’t forget to tell your partner that they’re beautiful… don’t.)

5. Anticipate change

Research has shown that your partner will change in some way every 7-8 years. The change may be drastic or minuscule, but you need to expect to see some sort of difference in the person’s mind or body.

Personal change is a natural process in life, but we often don’t accommodate for these changes in our relationships. For both people, it is important to assess where you’re at and let your partner know what you need. If you don’t communicate this change, trouble often follows.

So just know what you’re thinking and feeling, let your partner know (communication!), and be honest. Understand that change is inevitable, and this applies to two people in love.

6. Learn to compromise

Two different people sometimes mean two different viewpoints. This is most evident when making any kind of decision – big or small. Sometimes, the two people agree and sometimes not. When there is a disagreement, don’t allow it to become a full-fledged argument. Instead, discuss it calmly and rationally.

Be thoughtful and empathetic with the other person’s view on something. Don’t hear their response and immediately become defensive, insisting that you should have the final say. If you are unsure about why your partner thinks the way that they do, just ask questions for clarity.

For smaller decisions, simply take turns allowing each other to decide. If you picked the place to eat dinner, then allow your partner to choose which movie you will see.

7. Apologize when you’re wrong

We all make mistakes in a relationship, but part of making a relationship last is a willingness to admit these mistakes. If you committed a mistake, simply apologize to your partner. Being stubborn and insisting that you were right when you were clearly wrong is much worse than the blunder itself.

Further, it’s not enough to mumble “I’m sorry…” while your partner walks away. Sincerity and eye contact are essential elements of any apology. Forego your pride and state your apology with meaning.

Also, learn to accept each other’s apology. Stubbornness can also be present on the recipient’s side; so if your partner is sincerely apologetic, accept the words with sincerity and move on.

8. Don’t give up

Resiliency is essential to making a relationship last. You may incorporate all of the above elements, but if you aren’t steadfast in your relationship it risks failure. Make the commitment to each other to do what you can to stick it out through the difficult times.

No relationship is perfect. It doesn’t matter how great a relationship appears from the outside, there are always going to be trials. It’s part of sharing a life with a person that is different in some way.

A long-term relationship is beautiful, but it isn’t easy. It’s not supposed to be easy. However, it’s supposed to be overwhelmingly worthwhile. Hopefully, this article will make your current and future relationships more beautiful and long-lasting.

Join the discussion: What tips do you have for the community to make a relationship last? Share below or join in on Facebook!

10 Signs It’s Time to Simplify Your Life

January 25, 2015 by Power of Positivity

Is it time to simplify everything in your life?

It is most people’s intention to live life to the fullest. That which constitutes a fulfilling life is very personal, but often consists of a nice home, well-paying job, good family, spiritual or religious growth, personal development, financial security, helping others, etc. We set out into the world filled with ambition and good intentions.

But what happens when we achieve some modicum of success in life? Well, we naturally desire to aim higher and achieve more. In and of itself, this ambition is noble and deserving of respect. However, the insatiable desire to constantly better ourselves and achieve more can have unintended consequences – excess and complexity. Our needs and wants can become excessive and our life becomes more complex as a result.

“That’s been one of my mantras – focus and simplicity. Simple can be harder than complex: You have to work hard to get your thinking clean to make it simple. But it’s worth it in the end because once you get there, you can move mountains.” – Steve Jobs

Excess and complexity in life are problematic because we:

– Have less time.

– Consume too much.

– Enjoy things less.

– Are constantly stressed.

– Feel less physically and mentally healthy.

– Are more obsessive.

– Pursue things that aren’t good for us.

– Don’t live in the present moment.

If any of these apply to you, it’s time to consider simplifying your life.

Don’t judge or criticize yourself either – it only adds to the problem. The vast majority of people have a difficult time finding some semblance of balance in this hectic world. However, you can (and are) doing something about it by reading this article. Kudos to you!

Here are 10 signs that it may be time to simplify your life…

1. You have excess clutter in your home.

Take a look around your home – the closet, bathroom, bedroom, living room, kitchen – how much of this space is being occupied by things that are no longer being used?

Clutter is often the result of having an excess of something – shoes, clothes, food, DVD’s, entertainment – you name it. Whatever “it” is, consider giving the stuff away and clearing up some much-needed space. You’ll feel more organized and less stressed, while feeling good about helping someone in need.

2. You’re spending too much money.

When you go out shopping for groceries, food, entertainment or something else, how often do you attempt to save? Are you looking for deals and clipping coupons, or are you whipping out the credit card without much thought?

Do you have a set monthly budget? If so, how often do you adhere to it? Are you making up for any shortfall by using credit? So many people have a problem with money, resulting in debt, stress, and feeling overwhelmed

Use a simple question when buying something: is this a want or a need? If it’s a need…well, it’s a need. If it’s a want, ask yourself why you’re buying – is this something that’s been planned that doesn’t happen often, or is it impulsive and unnecessary? Simplify your spending habits.

3. You’re buying too much “stuff”.

Before making the decision to purchase something, ask yourself if you already have enough of it. Do you really need that 5^th set of pumps or that HDTV that is 10 inches bigger than the one you bought last year?

All kidding aside, maintain a rational mindset when you buy something. Consider how hard you work for that money you’re about to spend – is that hard work going towards something that you already have plenty of?

4. You’ve gotten away from spirituality.

Not tending to your spiritual needs is a direct consequence of complex living. You’re working too much, rushing around… or maybe making a quick, unscheduled stop at the mall (stop!).

Yes, your time is limited as with most people. You don’t need to become a sage that prays 5 hours a day to meet these needs. Consider spending 10-15 minutes in the morning or before bedtime meditating, reading scripture or something else.

5. You overuse technology.

Please don’t be that adult or teen texting on the highway.

Please don’t be the coworker that is checking email when someone is talking to you.

And, please don’t be the mom or dad that has the laptop at the dinner table.

Finally, please don’t be the owl that gets four hours of sleep because they were on the Xbox…and then misses work.

Yes, we are connected all the time – cell phones, tablets, laptops, tablets that become laptops, “smart watches” –there are even “phablets” (it’s an actual word) being sold by the millions. We truly do have a problem with this nonstop connective culture.

Consider shutting it down for at least a couple hours each night.

6. You have no alone time.

Ah, yes…the relaxation and rejuvenation that results from some alone time. There is nothing like it, is there? Well, unless you have no alone time.

Solitude is important because it relaxes your brain, enhances creativity, boosts memory, improves focus, and (perhaps most importantly) charges your inner battery.

Sneak in some solitude through the work day and at home. If it’s a few minutes, great…if more, even better.

7. You’re constantly granting favors.

We all want to appear nice and not hurt any feelings. As such, we often say “Yes”, “Yeah”, “Sure” or “You got it” to someone’s request without even knowing what the heck was asked in the first place.

It’s generous of you to accommodate someone…when it’s feasible. When it causes an adverse effect on your life, it’s not okay. Learn to say “no”. It might be the easiest method to simplify your life.

8. You’re rushing throughout the day.

There is no need to explain why we rush around. Too many things to do and not enough time…check.

However, when we make the conscious decision to slow our lives down and prioritize, we can actually become more productive. Action is not to be mistaken for productivity. This mindset has (somehow) been accepted as truth; perhaps as a consequence (and influence) of business interests.

Prioritize. Be present. Think about focusing on right now.

9. You’re constantly eating out.

Fast food is quick, easy, cheap (dollar menu!) and convenient. Even though it may taste good, most of it also happens to be terrible for your health. French fries, double cheeseburgers, fried chicken, patty melts, bacon burgers, milkshakes. And it’s all available for a few dollars and a five-minute wait.

Living in a fast-paced, hectic world can make it difficult to simplify your diet. That being said, eating out every day is not the answer. Even if you have to wake up a little earlier to prepare a healthy breakfast or lunch, it will have great benefits.

10. You’re always multitasking.

Multitasking is another myth that’s been promulgated by the corporatization of America and other societies. To clear this misconception, here are some scientific facts of multitasking:

– The brain is physiologically incapable of processing two things at once.

– Multitasking slows down most tasks.

– Multitasking is less efficient and more stressful.

– The practice of multitasking takes more time than single-tasking.

Watch out for the subtle bids for your attention, as well. When you’re working, minimize or eliminate distractions – limit email, instant messaging, and co-worker interaction. Make your environment conducive to single-tasking and focus.

The same goes for when you need to tend to something at home, when reading, or any other activity that requires cognitive effort and concentration. Take the initiative and set the expectation that you’re not to be distracted or disrupted.

Join the discussion, or please join in on Facebook. How have you decided to simplify your life? Share in the discussion below!

4 Ways to Get Through Life’s Most Difficult Times

January 24, 2015 by Power of Positivity

It’s pretty easy to be happy and content when things are going well in your life; but what about when circumstances change for the worse? How do you react when things change over into difficult times?

Dwight Moody once said, “Character is what you are in the dark.” These dark moments are a reflection of your inner strength, courage, and resilience. Most people go through at least one very difficult time in their life – grief over the loss of a loved one, poverty, job loss, homelessness, or some other tremendous hardship which tests every ounce of strength they can muster.

Here’s something to remember that is easy to forget: you are much stronger than you think. And you are stronger still for going through difficult times. You’ll go through an inner storm; you’ll suffer; you’ll beg for it all to end, and it eventually will. When it does end, you’ll come out stronger and better than before.

Here are 4 ways to get you through life’s most difficult times:

1. Remember that happiness comes from within

Our society is inundated with messages of consumerism and materialism. The constant barrage of messages from the advertisement and marketing industries has created the illusion that more stuff means more happiness. This is simply untrue.

Sure, a spending spree at the local mall can provide some pleasure…temporary pleasure. Spending is never a long-term solution for easing pain – in fact, it’s just the opposite. In developed countries, most households have debt amounts that exceed their disposable income. This overspending has had tremendous repercussions on individuals and families.

The truth is that happiness will always be found internally. Doing things that truly promote happiness – being grateful, learning, playing, curiosity, meditation, exercise, prayer, family time, etc. – will provide genuine happiness…even in very difficult times.

No matter what is happening externally, you can tap into this inner source of happiness. Yes, the external circumstances of your life have an effect, but it’s not to the degree that you may think. It’s still possible to tap into a multitude of things – both discovered and undiscovered – that will create true happiness. Find those things and focus on them.

2. Acknowledge your emotions

When pain – especially tremendous pain – presents itself, it is natural to want to run away and ignore it. Ask anyone who’s lost a child, parent, or someone near and dear to their heart. Quite understandably, the last thing they want to do is relive the hurt of that loss.

But the truth is that emotions need to be faced and experienced. Yes, you may worry because emotions can be overwhelming. As a result, many fear that they won’t be able to handle them. Just remember what was discussed in the introduction – you are stronger than you think.

Dr. Christina Hibbert, author of This is How We Grow, has experienced some tumultuous times – losing one sister at age 8, and another sister (and her husband) at a later age. As a result, she inherited an extended family; including two children as a result of the second sister’s death.

She’s certainly earned the right to give her advice, so here are her own words:

“(Ignoring your emotions) is like trying to run away from something that’s right on your shoulder. The only way to truly be free is to stop and face your emotions…people tend to get stuck because they’re not feeling their emotions…they are not letting themselves really feel the pain, loss, sadness, anger, that is lurking within.”

Hibbert developed her own grief coping method called TEARS – “Talking, Exercising, Artistic express, Recording or writing experiences, and Sobbing” she continues, “These five things can give us something to do when feeling overwhelmed by stress.”

3. Remember to be grateful (even for the little things).

When dark moments happen in life, it’s easy to forget a lot of things, including gratitude. Emotions overtake our rational thought processes when we are overwhelmed with any type of stimuli, including pain.

The beautiful thing about gratitude is that you’ll never run out of it. Being grateful is all about perspective. Thinking about or meditating on the abundance in your life is a wonderful way to bring these things to the surface.

For example, if you are reading this right now, you have a computer (or smartphone) and internet access. Only about 40% of people in the world have access to the internet; with even fewer having access to a device such as a smartphone or computer. Did you have something for breakfast or lunch? About 1 billion people have gone without. Have you earned more than $1.25 today? About 1.2 billion people in the world have received less.

These statistics are not meant to create guilt, but to cause a change in perspective. There are destitute people all over the world that still manage to create happiness under far more difficult circumstances. Find something in your life to be grateful for and focus on it.

(As a side note): If able, please consider giving your time or money to those less fortunate. There are many great organizations focused on reducing and eradicating hunger, poverty, and disease in countries all over the world. These people need strong individuals to take a stand and help.

4. Practice being present

You’ll find that this is a consistent theme through much of the material on this site: the practice of being present. Living in the here and now is so important, and it helps you to deal with problems as they arise – without judgment, hesitance, or objection. Things are just as they should be, for better or for worse.

Regardless of the painful circumstances facing you, it is important to realize that this is where you are, wanted or unwanted. You can attempt to dodge, avoid, suppress or deny, but in the end, it just is what it is.

Being present goes beyond dealing with painful circumstances. Mindfulness and presence enable you to express full joy and gratefulness towards the blessings in life. Further, it allows you to perceive these blessings better when they do surface.

Resist the urge to judge what has happened in the past or what may happen in the future. All you have and all that you are guaranteed is the present moment. Take full advantage of the moment and appreciate the beauty of life that exists all around you.

Of course, being present sometimes involves pain, but it will be okay. Allow yourself to experience the moment, however painful it may be, knowing that it will pass…you will eventually flourish as a person – perhaps as a better version of yourself.

3 Tips to Maintain Your Spirituality On the Go

January 23, 2015 by Power of Positivity

When you practice spirituality where you live, you have everything already set up to your liking, and become accustomed to a structured and consistent spiritual routine. Inside your home, you probably have a regular spiritual routine you follow that helps you feel balanced and connected to yourself and the Universe. You may have an altar, a specific yoga regimen that makes you feel energized, or special crystal grids you use to activate your energy field.

But what happens when you have to go on a trip that takes you away from your spiritual refuge?

You might have to leave your haven for a few days every once and a while, but spirituality doesn’t have to leave you. We hope you find the following tips useful to help you maintain your spirituality away from your usual place of practice.

3 Tips on How to Take Spirituality On The Go

1 – Take Some Sacred Items With You

You might not be able to recreate an exact replica of your sacred space at home, but you can bring a few of your favorite items with you and set one up in historic hotels room or wherever you’re staying. Maybe you connect to your spirituality best with scripture, crystals, Buddha or Ganesh figures, a token, or poster hanging up on your wall. You could easily bring these with you to your destination to keep up a regular spiritual practice on the road.

Candles or incense can also enhance any spiritual practice and are easy to take with you, but hotel rules can make this a bit difficult. Fortunately, you can still bring along a candle wax warmer with your favorite fragrances and just plug it in at the place you’re staying. You don’t have to light anything, and you still get to enjoy your favorite smells that take you to the ultimate place of serenity. Or, you can just take tea light candles with you to instill tranquil energy within you and your surroundings.

2 – Have a Playlist of Your Favorite Calming Music

You can use technology to your advantage and keep a playlist of music that resonates with your soul, so that you can listen to it anytime you feel out of alignment. Sometimes, leaving familiar territory can make us feel out of sorts and anxious. However, deeply relaxing music can bring us back into that place of pure bliss and unity with the divine. You can put it on in the car, in your hotel room, or even pop in your earbuds when you’re strolling around outside.

If you have a playlist, you can access it anytime you please. You could even play the music during your meditation or prayer practice in your hotel room. In fact, music can take your spirituality practice to new heights and allow your soul to move with the rhythm. So don’t forget to bring your favorite tunes with you.

3 – Bring a Drawing Pad or Journal

Many people connect with their higher selves through some form of art, whether they take up drawing, writing, singing, dancing, or any other form of art. A drawing pad or journal doesn’t take up much space in your bag, and you can rely on them any time you feel disconnected. Even if you don’t have a lot of time on your trip to write or draw, you can just jot down a few notes here and there to check in with your highest self or make a quick sketch of whatever comes to mind.

Also, a journal makes for a great way to tell stories about your trip when you come home. You can write down your dreams, new experiences you had, your thoughts about the day, and whatever else you’d like. Writing makes for a great way to reflect and think about what you learned about a situation, or how it made you a better person. Drawing allows your imagination to come to life, bringing your visions into creation.

Whatever you enjoy doing in your spare time, try to bring a piece of that with you when you leave your home. If knitting brings you the same sense of peace and satisfaction, bring along some of your knitting supplies. Spirituality is all about getting into a “flow,” where your body, mind, and soul move effortlessly to the beat of the Universe’s drums. Whatever takes you to this place in your heart, make it a part of your practice, even when you have to leave your home for a while.

Join the discussion in the comments or on Facebook. What other tips can you think of to stay spiritual while you’re away from home?

5 Steps to Rebuild Trust After You’ve Been Hurt

January 23, 2015 by Power of Positivity

If we all closed ourselves off after getting hurt, could we ever truly trust or engage in relationships again?

Broken trust and betrayal have occurred in many of our lives, both in romantic relationships and friendships alike. Even family members can break our trust. However, difficulties arise in any relationship, and we must learn to work through any trust issues and keep moving forward.

Unfortunately, getting hurt comes as part of the package deal in this human experience, but we don’t have to let those experiences weigh us down and keep us from opening up to others. Broken promises and compromised feelings can make us want to push others out and never trust again, but this 5 step guide can help you overcome those feelings and learn how to trust again.

5 Steps to Rebuild Trust After You’ve Been Hurt

1. Realize that no one is perfect.

No matter how badly the person broke your trust, you must realize that no one on Earth can avoid mistakes their entire lives. Everyone slips up from time to time, even if they didn’t mean to. Though our brains can store more information than computers, we are not robots; we have complicated feelings, emotions, and thoughts that shape us as humans.

Whether you decide to forgive the person is up to you, but remember that you also make mistakes from time to time. The relationship might still be worth salvaging if you can see from their point of view and understand that pain is inevitable on this journey in life.

2. Express your feelings.

Your first reaction might be to ignore your partner, friend, or relative until they come to you and say sorry, but you might have to be the bigger person and make the first move. They might not realize they even did anything wrong, so make sure you make it clear to them how you feel. Remember to talk in a calm, rational manner, and try not to sound accusatory. Take the first point into consideration and tell them you understand that no one is perfect. However, make sure you lay everything on the table and tell them exactly how you feel.

Part of learning to trust again means opening up to the very person that hurt you. Even if you go different ways, you can at least find solace in the fact that you were honest about your feelings, and left no stone unturned.

3. Zoom out from the situation.

Try to look at the bigger picture, and decide if your feelings match the severity of the situation. In other words, can you justify your feelings by their actions, or could you be overreacting just a bit? Though trust must be earned in a relationship, you need to discern serious breaches in trust from minor ones.

For example, if the person cheated on you, you and your partner need to have a serious talk about your relationship. However, if your partner forgot about your dinner plans for the evening, you might want to hold back your feelings for a bit and listen to his or her explanation. They might have had to stay late at work, or just honestly forgotten about your plans.

Try to see the situation as it is, and don’t make it something more. Listen to your partner or friend and decide if the situation merits a strong reaction or not.

4. Be open to second chances, but remember your worth.

Essentially, you have to find the middle ground here. If you’ve given someone a chance to earn your trust but they have consistently disrespected and betrayed you, you should probably let them go.

Trust is a two-way street, and the other person has to meet you halfway. Learning to trust again involves paying attention to your feelings, and discerning if the person deserves to be in your life or not. A breach of trust usually means the person needs time to deal with personal issues; when other people hurt you, their own hurt is spilling over their threshold, causing them to hurt others.

Understand their pain, but also know when it’s time to call it quits. You have to respect yourself enough to discontinue any relationship that doesn’t serve you in the best way, but know when to give others a second chance.

5. Leave the past behind you.

Most of us have had a turbulent, painful past because we’ve had to go through certain situations in order to grow as a person. We had to go through hurtful relationships and heart-wrenching breakups to evolve into a strong, compassionate, well-rounded person. Learn from the rough waters of the past, but don’t let them steer your vessel. Take charge and realize that the past should stay in the past and that you have to let people in if you want to continue to grow.

The past doesn’t have to define your future; you can take ownership of your feelings and choose to let the past make you a better person, not a bitter person. Past relationships and situations don’t reflect the future, because you get to create your future. People will always hurt you in one way or another, but some relationships will be worth the pain. Others can help you grow and teach you new things about life; any relationship requires effort, but you’ll know in your heart who needs to stay in your life to help you blossom into your best self.

How do you rebound after you have been hurt? Share your feedback on Facebook.

8 Ways to Rebuild a Positive Life After Trauma

January 22, 2015 by Power of Positivity

The word ‘trauma’ is a derivative of the Greek word for ‘wound.’ This term, of course, encompasses physical, psychological, and emotional ordeals. One commonality between all types of trauma is that it interferes with the daily functioning of a person’s life, sometimes to a severe degree.

“Trauma is the glimpse of truth that tells us a lie, the lie that love is impossible, that peace is an illusion.” – David Morris, author

From nearly the beginning of the 21^st century, people have had to deal with conflict increasingly. Without a doubt, the individuals that have suffered the most have been the men, women, and children placed in harm’s way. In addition to the obvious physical damage caused by war, there is a high psychological cost.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a form of psychological trauma that is most commonly associated with war or violence. While this may have brought the condition to the surface, there are various reasons why someone develops PTSD. The condition usually results because the person saw or lived through a dangerous event.

The most common adult symptoms of PTSD include flashbacks, nightmares, frightening thoughts, emotional numbness, depression, difficulty sleeping, angry outbursts, and hypertension.

For children who experience PTSD, symptoms may include: bedwetting, re-acting the event, being clingy with a parent or adult, and loss of verbal skill. Teens often experience symptoms closer to those of adults. Regardless of age, symptoms can be reduced.

PTSD is one obvious form of trauma, but there are many others. Some other situations and events that can lead to trauma include:

– Acts of violence – ex: assault, child abuse, domestic abuse, rape and suicide

– Disasters – ex: earthquake, hurricane, flood, etc.

– Serious vehicle accidents

Regardless of the type of trauma experienced, there are ways to cope. You can build a positive life after trauma…any trauma.

Here are 8 ways to build a positive life after a traumatic event.

1. Remember that your past does not define you.

When someone experiences trauma, they become haunted by the event for a long time. Given the nature of what trauma sufferers have seen and experienced, this is understandable. Acts of violence, disaster, and war are absolutely abhorrent events for someone to live through.

Remember this: your past does not define who you are. The brain is very adept at replaying events that strongly impacted your life – this includes trauma. This cannot be stated enough and is a recurring phrase on this site: be present. Study meditation, prayer, spirituality…whatever you need to do to keep your mind focused on the present. You can do it.

2. Forgive yourself and others for past hurt and resentment

This is understandably difficult, especially those that have experienced acts of violence. Just remember that you don’t have to forgive someone because they deserve it, …but because you deserve it. Forgiveness can liberate you from the resentment and anger occupying your heart and mind, allowing you to replace it with something far better.

Again, forgiving others is not about them; it’s about you. Holding onto anger and resentment damages you far more than it does who committed the act. Release and let go of this negativity, my friend.

3. Take time for self-love and self-care

Of course, be good to yourself by taking care of your body and mind. Do things that cater to your physical and mental health – exercise, meditate, eat healthily, etc.

People who experience PTSD, including soldiers in combat, have experimented with mindfulness meditation and found it to be beneficial. According to Dr. Elizabeth Stanley, a professor at Georgetown University, and former U.S. Army Captain, “It’s clear that mindfulness can lower stress in many contexts. We (also) think it can work for soldiers dealing with the extreme stress of combat.”

Please see the article about making self-care a top priority. You will find many additional good tips.

4. Replace negative thought patterns with new and healing beliefs

This is another area where meditation may help in dealing with trauma. Negative thought replacement is an actual method designed to reduce the amount of depressive and negative thoughts.

It’s normal not to believe new, introductory thoughts at first; however, making a habit of introducing new thought patterns works it one keeps at it. According to a study in Psychology Today, speaking positive thoughts aloud creates two forms of memory replacement.

The practice is relatively simple – whatever negative thought comes to mind, think, or say the exact opposite. Positive words and thoughts breed positive words and thoughts. It may take some patience and work, but replacing the negative thoughts will have a profound impact in the long-run.

5. Take small steps to make subtle shifts

“The journey of 1000 miles begins with a single step.” – Lao Tzu

What a beautiful quote, one that is directly applicable to those affected by trauma. This may be one to commit to memory.

Again, in dealing with trauma, healing will not happen quickly. You must remember to be patient and gentle with yourself while allowing the process to unfold. It is important not to be harsh with yourself. Indeed, you’ve already experienced enough.

6. Learn to trust life again (trust people, new experiences)

Traumatic events can make it extremely difficult to trust life itself – the process, the experiences, and the people.

This is certainly true if a person has hurt you, which makes it more difficult to trust people as a whole. But you must move past this barrier.

You must have faith and trust in people and in life. Think about the repercussions of living a life in which no trust is given. You are resentful, angry, and discouraged. Instead, trust in people, trust in yourself, and trust in life. Reframe your mind.

7. Keep a close positive circle (people who uplift you and encourage your healing and new life)

Being surrounded by positive people is important for everyone, but especially those who have experienced traumatic events. If you’ve experienced trauma, make a commitment to be around people who will encourage your healing process and not judge you.

Refuse to be surrounded by those who will make your transition more difficult. Negative people breed negative people. When people of a negative disposition present themselves, walk away, or ignore them. There are plenty of good, positive people that will assist and encourage your healing process.

8. Acceptance of personal tragedy is liberating – Suffering should be expected as a part of life experience. This is when we learn the most.

As with most experiences, you can learn and grow from what has happened to you. Even though it may not resonate now, what you’ve gone through has made you stronger, not weaker. Sure, you may feel weak and even hopeless at times, but there are an inner strength and courage far beyond what you can imagine.

The strongest steel is forged from the strongest fire. Remember this as your battle rages, and trust that the final outcome will be one worthy of the highest praise.

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These 8 simple rules will help your relationship last:

1. Create a shared dream for your life

2. Maintain a physical connection

3. Keep communication lines open

4. Emphasize the positive

5. Anticipate change

6. Learn to compromise

7. Apologize when you’re wrong

8. Don’t give up

Excess and complexity in life are problematic because we:

Here are 10 signs that it may be time to simplify your life…

1. You have excess clutter in your home.

2. You’re spending too much money.

3. You’re buying too much “stuff”.

4. You’ve gotten away from spirituality.

5. You overuse technology.

6. You have no alone time.

7. You’re constantly granting favors.

8. You’re rushing throughout the day.

9. You’re constantly eating out.

10. You’re always multitasking.

Here are 4 ways to get you through life’s most difficult times:

1. Remember that happiness comes from within

2. Acknowledge your emotions

3. Remember to be grateful (even for the little things).

4. Practice being present

3 Tips on How to Take Spirituality On The Go

1 – Take Some Sacred Items With You

2 – Have a Playlist of Your Favorite Calming Music

3 – Bring a Drawing Pad or Journal

5 Steps to Rebuild Trust After You’ve Been Hurt

1. Realize that no one is perfect.

2. Express your feelings.

3. Zoom out from the situation.

4. Be open to second chances, but remember your worth.

5. Leave the past behind you.

Here are 8 ways to build a positive life after a traumatic event.

1. Remember that your past does not define you.

2. Forgive yourself and others for past hurt and resentment

3. Take time for self-love and self-care

4. Replace negative thought patterns with new and healing beliefs

5. Take small steps to make subtle shifts

6. Learn to trust life again (trust people, new experiences)

7. Keep a close positive circle (people who uplift you and encourage your healing and new life)

8. Acceptance of personal tragedy is liberating – Suffering should be expected as a part of life experience. This is when we learn the most.

The Community

Our Free Community of Positively Powerful SuperFans

Rise and Shine On! Master Your Day with the Ultimate Positive Morning Guide + Checklist

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Master Your Day with the Ultimate Positive Morning Guide + Checklist