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11 Toxic Habits that Drain Your Energy

11 Toxic Habits that Drain Your Energy

Did you know that the energy drink market is a $7 billion per year industry? That’s billion, with a “b”. The market is expected to reach $21 billion by 2017. That’s an absolutely mindboggling number. Monster, Rockstar, and other companies have created a multi-billion dollar revenue stream off of nothing more than a potent mix of water, sugar, caffeine and other legalized stimulants. The energy drink industry is ‘Exhibit A’ of the energy crisis that faces almost all of us.

Energy drink companies have managed to seriously profit off of an underlying, systemic problem within our society: a lack of energy. This lethargy that many of us experience is a by-product of a get-up-and-go society – one in which we must work more to earn less – all while still managing our daily obligations. It is more common nowadays for someone to have two jobs, get less sleep, and have less leisure and family time. In other words, there are too many things to do and not enough time to do them.

While the current economic trends do not show any signs of changing, there are things that we can do to increase, conserve, and expend our energy more wisely. One aspect of this is recognizing and abstaining from toxic, energy-draining habits.

Here are 11 commonly toxic habits that drain your energy:

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1. Worrying about the insignificant

We’ve all hear this phrase before: “Don’t sweat the small stuff.” This is simple in theory, but difficult in practice.

Worry and anxiety go together like peas and carrots. Like many of our tendencies, worry is genetically encoded in our DNA. The only difference is, while our ancient ancestors worried about being attacked in the wild, we worry about our jobs, families, health, money, and a multitude of other things.

The answer lies in separating the significant from the insignificant worry. There’e no need to overthink everything. If a legitimate concern needs rectifying, then take action ASAP. On the other hand, realize that the fly buzzing around your keyboard will probably go away, just like any other tiny worry.

 2. Allowing the past to rule

You may indeed have experienced some very difficult situations in the past. Some of us have even experienced trauma from these events.

Here’s the thing: you will never fully embrace your present and future without confronting the past. To confront the past, you must first realize the importance of doing so. Underlying emotional and mental complications require the seeking of either personal or professional (therapeutic/medical) help.

Once you’ve realized its importance and perhaps even sought help, you must let go of the past and focus on the future. Realize two things: (1) you are stronger than you think, and (2) you are stronger having gone through the fire. You are now more prepared to encounter whatever challenges may face you going forward.

 3. Resisting change and growth

Resisting change and growth can usually be traced to feelings of losing control and excess uncertainty.

There really is no other solution other than to realize your potential, and then focus your efforts on reaching your potential. This includes focusing, day in and day out, on each small task until you reach your goals. Eventually, this task-oriented focus becomes a habit, manifesting itself into achievement and success.

4. Participating in drama and negativity

Drama and negativity can be internal or external; in isolation or in the company of others. Regardless of its orientation, drama and negativity is detrimental to your energy.

If its source is internal, remember that you are not your negative thoughts. Our brains are incredibly complex and, as result, much of our thinking is impulsive in nature. The secret is in understanding this simple fact and allowing these thoughts to simply fade away.

If external, eliminate the source – stop hanging around and allowing negative people into your inner circle. Lend an ear if needed, but don’t participate in the negativity or the drama.

 5. Using fear as an excuse

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Fear can be the reason that you are not achieving what you want. Rationally confronting fear is one of the best ways to not only manage your energy, but achieve success.

Often, fear is as automatic as negative thinking. When you take conscious control over your thoughts and confront fear, you are in essence making yourself stronger. The answer lies in taking action towards what you want in life…effectively putting fear in the distant background

 6. Taking things personally

Being social creatures, we often define ourselves through the relationships that we have. These relationships will vary in effectiveness and intimacy. In other words, there are people that we just “connect” with, and those that we don’t.

A lack of connection with someone does not necessarily mean that they dislike you personally…often times this isn’t the case. There is probably a difference in personality, social interaction, or something else. Don’t take things personally.

7. Remaining on auto-pilot

According to a 2010 study featured in Psychology Today, human’s brains are on “autopilot” nearly half of the time. In other words, our minds are wandering from one thing to the next.

The most significant find from the study is that people are the unhappiest while on autopilot. The takeaway? Being mindful and present in what you do. Being present is a habit; something that is a skill to be learned and one that innately resides in us.

Being mindful is not difficult, remembering to be mindful is. But when we remember to be mindful, we increase our happiness and energy.

8. Holding onto anger and resentment

Anger and resentment generally ties into living in the past. These are negative, “autopilot” emotions and thoughts that can be discarded.

Anger and resentment are extremely counterproductive to your energy and is not worth the mental and physical cost. Let go of anger and resentment, and you free yourself up for some positive energy.

It bears repeating: you are not your negative thoughts (re-read #4, if you must!)

9.Being in negative environments

Continually subjecting yourself to a negative environment; whether it’s work, home, or somewhere else, shouldn’t be acceptable to you. You need to consciously take control of the situation and make a change for the better.

Start with taking some small, proactive steps to get yourself out of the current situation. For example, if work is draining your energy or ambition, spend an hour each day applying for jobs or updating your resume. If your kids are getting into trouble at school, spend some time discussing the importance of education with them. Taking the first step is often the most difficult when making a significant change in your environment, but one that is well worth doing.

10. Not getting proper nutrition

Food is fuel for our brains…literally. Mass-produced, packaged, processed food is saturated with fat, sugar, salt, and preservatives that are harmful to your brain and body.

A WebMD study suggests adding some ‘superfoods’ to your diet to increase your odds of maintaining a healthy brain. Some examples are blueberries, salmon, nuts and seeds, avocado, whole grains, beans, pomegranate juice, and even dark chocolate.

The benefits of these foods range from increased energy to a reduced risk of serious disorders such as dementia and heart disease.

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 11. Not getting enough sleep

No surprise here…our hectic lives (again) negatively affect a must-have: sleep.

Simply put: sleep is absolutely essential to brain health, energy, and physical health. The National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute (NHLBI) links sleep deficiency to an increased risk of heart disease, kidney disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, and stroke.

The NHLBI recommends at minimum seven to eight hours of sleep a day. However, you may need to arrange your schedule, make sure to accommodate for this. Doing so will increase your energy, efficiency, and overall wellbeing.

11 Ways to LIVE (Not Just Exist)

“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.” – Oscar Wilde

In life, we all have the same hierarchical needs: love, food, shelter, water, companionship, and a chance for self-realization and fulfillment. At the end of the day though, most people live on auto-pilot, thinking they have no control, and only experience what they need for basic survival, such as food, water, and shelter.

But what about the dreams, passions, love, and companionship?

Those aspects of life make us actually feel alive.  They give us a reason to wake up each morning and live life with intention, direction, and drive to accomplish something bigger than ourselves. If tomorrow turned out to be your last day here on Earth, wouldn’t you want to look back and say you lived life to the fullest? If you want to fill your life with happiness, abundance and freedom now, these tips can help you create that life you have always dreamed of and leave behind the habit of merely existing.

11 Ways to LIVE (Not Just Exist)

1. Conquer Your Fears

“Everything you want is on the other side of fear.” – Jack Canfield

What does this quote mean exactly? Well, nearly everything people want in life involves a certain level of uncertainty and fear. Let’s say you want to travel the world, and you have never left the country before. You have no idea what to expect about other cultures, the laws in other countries, and a whole new way of life.

Perhaps you dream every day of just leaving your life behind and starting a new chapter full of adventure. But you let your fears stop you. You say “I might run out of money. Someone might hurt me. I might not find a place to stay.” You let your mind take over and come up with every possible worst-case scenario.

The best way to get over your fear is to do what you’re most afraid of. You’ll feel more accomplished, fulfilled, happy, peaceful, and ultimately, more alive. Let your fears fuel your passion instead of allowing them to stunt your progress. If more people allowed their hearts rather than minds to serve as their compass, this whole world would explode with passion and people following their dreams. Leave fear behind and embrace the courage within you! All of us have it, and you are no different. You are capable of accomplishing anything you set your mind to if you just believe in the power within.

2. Allow Yourself to Shine

Being your unique self gives you the freedom to move through life in a state of “flow,” not worrying what others think or say about you.  Acknowledge your highest self and allow it to flourish! There’s only one of you, and no one possesses all the same amazing qualities as you, so own them. Let your most authentic nature come to life and run free; most people go through life being afraid of who they really are, not allowing their true selves to come to life.

3. Surround Yourself With Uplifting People

In order to really feel alive, you must find others who love living just as much (or more!) In general, you should try to find people on the same mission as you, who value following their dreams and actively work toward fulfilling them every day. Some people believe that you become who you surround yourself with, so keep that in mind as you choose your friends and romantic relationships. When you surround yourself with happy, positive and inspiring people, you choose life. You choose to keep the company of those who allow their true selves to shine, and those who welcome abundance and happiness into their lives. If your current friends or partner make you feel down, uninspired, or discontent with life, consider finding new people to hang around.

You deserve to feel excited about life, and who you surround yourself with can either help or hurt you along your journey. While every relationship can teach us something, you have to discern which relationships are worth keeping from those that are best left in the past. Negative people can hold you back, while positive people can encourage you to become the best version of yourself. Positive energy naturally vibrates at a higher frequency than negative energy, so you naturally will feel more alive by choosing more positive people in your life.

Sever the toxic relationships in your life and spread your wings.

4. Adopt an Attitude of Gratitude

It’s important to acknowledge the abundance present in all our lives and give thanks for what we have every single day. When you practice gratitude each day, instead of just chosen holidays during the year, you’ll find out that you have even more to be thankful for. The Universe responds positively to anyone expressing their thanks and provides even more to be thankful for as a result.

If you have been feeling down lately, try waking up each day and reminding yourself what you love about your life. You may have pets you absolutely adore, loving friends and family, and a job you look forward to going to each day. When you express gratitude to the Universe, it listens. The energy you put out into the world comes back to you, so by reminding yourself of your blessings, you will find yourself being blessed with even more!

5. Follow Your Heart

When you give in to your heart’s deepest desires, you begin to see life in a different way. Everything seems to look more vibrant and alive, reflecting your inner state of being. You might feel pressured to follow a certain path to please your parents, friends, or spouse, but that might not necessarily be the path you want to take. Part of embracing your true self is in listening to your inner voice, not the voice of others telling you how to live your life. Only you can walk your path and make your dreams come true.  Make sure you live life based on your ideals rather than everyone else’s. No one can tell you how to live your life except for you, because it is only yours to live.

When you follow your heart, you unlock parts of yourself that have been dormant for years. You can transform your life from complacency to unbelievable exuberance by choosing to listen to the power of your own inner voice.

6. Practice Unconditional Love

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.

When we perpetuate a hateful attitude toward others, we invite that same energy onto ourselves. Hate is easy, but doesn’t feel nearly as good as love does. By giving your love to others no matter their actions towards you, you learn how to love without conditions. How others treat you is a reflection of them, not you, just as how you treat others mirrors your own character. Responding to life in a hateful manner makes you more inclined to feel stressed, negative, and ungrateful. It also discourages others from wanting to spend time with you, and blocks positive energy from coming your way.

When you learn to look at everything from a loving perspective, and realize that everyone deserves love despite their words or actions, you say yes to life and no to anything less.

7. Enjoy the Simple Things

”Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it.” – Ferris

When you take note of the little things in life, you actually become more alive. You allow yourself to slow down and embrace the simple beauty behind everything in the Universe, and embrace what is rather than what isn’t. Before work each morning, make it a point to watch the sunrise. Spend some time with your kids before they go off to school. Make the most of each moment and realize what a beautiful universe we live in. If you stop and look around, you will notice that life in itself is a gift, and should not be taken for granted.

8. Give Without Expectations

One of the easiest ways to feel alive comes from giving. When you give clothes to the less fortunate, give presents to family and friends around the holidays, or give your time to volunteer for a good cause, you will start feeling more vibrant because others will benefit from your actions. Every day is a new opportunity to give, and we all have something valuable to offer. And when you give without expecting anything in return, you represent who you are in the purest form, which is Love. Love doesn’t expect or demand to be given back, it just is.

So, embrace who you are and give what you can to help others in need. Giving to others is the best gift you could possibly give to yourself.

9. Embrace Your Inner Child

We all are just kids in adult bodies, after all, so do something your inner child would love. Go to the amusement park, play arcade games, or race go-karts. Part of growing up means taking on adult responsibilities, and we often lose ourselves in them.

Take time to nourish your soul and do something that makes you laugh; you may get behind on your errands or chores for the day, but it’s worth it sometimes to forget the real world for a while and get lost in an endless land of imagination and wonder.

“Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once we grow up.” – Pablo Picasso

10.  Go Somewhere New

Have you always dreamt of going camping, but never had the chance to try it? Pack up your gear and go to your favorite spot in the wilderness for a few hours or days. Variety is the spice of life, as they say, so give your eyes something new to look at on a weekend when you can get away.

Your soul will feel rejuvenated when you put a new experience under your belt, and you will feel more thankful for life by getting out of your usual environment for even a short time.

11. Live in the Now

One of Eckhart Tolle’s most celebrated books, The Power of Now, explains the power of the present moment, and why no other moment matters but this one. The now is all we’ve got, so we might as well make the most of it and realize that we can create the future we envision by simply doing what we want in the present. This life is short, so don’t worry about the problems of the past or the uncertainty of the future. When you find yourself looking too far back or forward, center yourself in what is happening now, and remember that life occurs when you create it. You can’t create in the past or the future – only in the now.

Simply embracing the now will make you feel more peaceful and allow you to let go and experience the joy in every moment.

7 Places People Look for Happiness (That They Shouldn’t)

To find true happiness, not much is required. Happiness is found when you let go of expectations, desires, and negative thinking patterns. Happiness is a choice, not an outcome of a situation. Your happiness relies solely on you and your decision in a moment and depends on your outlook on life. Happiness comes when you learn to stay in the now rather than live in the future. Furthermore, happiness is simply a byproduct of accepting the present and allowing life to unfold as it should. Thus, it is not a destination but a journey.

7 Places People Look for Happiness (That They Shouldn’t)

Happy people know all of these things. On the other hand, unhappy people constantly seek things outside themselves for fulfillment.

1. Your Next Vacation

“Instead of wondering when your next vacation is, maybe you should set up a life you don’t need to escape from.”  Seth Godin

Most people exude happiness when planning a vacation, and why shouldn’t they? Thinking about traveling to a faraway place, seeing new lands, meeting the locals, and learning about a new culture would excite anybody – but what happens when you get back? The problem with relying on a future trip for happiness is that eventually, the trip is over, and reality sets back in. You have to get back to work, responsibilities, and daily grind. Of course, everyone should attempt to travel at some point in their lives. Traveling allows you to get outside your comfort zone and learn about new places and cultures.

However, happy people realize their contentment shouldn’t be vested solely in vacations. They find happiness in their everyday routines and love their lives, so that vacation is simply a bonus to their already rewarding lives.

2. Material Possessions

“Collect memories, not things.” – Unknown

Retail therapy is commonplace for unhappy people to look for happiness. It’s fast, easily attainable, instantly gratifying, and most importantly, satisfies our ego. Our egos always want more because they survive from acquiring more stuff. However, the temporary high we get from attaining more material items quickly fades, and we are left with an empty feeling, needing more stuff to feel happy again. This endless cycle keeps many people heading to shopping malls to fill a deeper void in their lives, rather than facing the problem head-on. Unhappy people cover up this void with the latest gadgets and clothes, thinking that happiness is found in material gain.

However, happy people know that true gratification is found in lasting pursuits. Such pleasures might be following dreams, building relationships, and contributing to society in a valuable way. Trade a trip to the mall for a trip with your family to your favorite spot in nature; you’ll find more fulfillment in making memories than spending money on things that lose their value in only a few weeks.

3. In Other People

“To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.” – Oscar Wilde

Relationships can bring great happiness – you confide in your significant other, share a life with him or her, bond with your children over bedtime stories and heart-to-heart talks, and look to your friends for advice when you go through a rough patch in life. Relationships are essential to humanity, providing us with companionship, love, and joy. However, depending on others to make you happy means you place all your worth in how much attention others give you.

Being truly happy means developing a healthy relationship with yourself first and sharing that happiness with others. All relationships in life are simply a reflection of your relationship with yourself. Happy people practice self-love and have clear goals and dreams in life. Happy people don’t look for others to complete them. Instead, they view their relationship with others as enhancing their lives. Unhappy people look to others as a source of happiness, but when the person leaves, happiness does too. Find happiness within, and it will never leave.

4. In Your Bank Account

“Money is numbers and numbers never end. If it takes money to be happy, your search for happiness will never end. – Bob Marley

Getting caught up in your money is easy because living can be expensive. However, you won’t find happiness in your wallet, your paycheck, or your bank account. The wealthiest people are usually some of the unhappiest people, which proves that happiness does not increase with more income. More money usually means more to worry about, more taxes to pay, more bank accounts to monitor, more insurance to buy, and generally, more of everything. Having more money usually creates less happiness, ironically.  Happy people are thankful for what they have and do not desire anything more. They understand that happiness comes from loving life as is rather than desiring more money. You can’t take money with you when you die, and having more of it now usually means you had to sacrifice precious time to make additional income.

Instead of placing value in having a large bank account, focus on having lots of memories and experiences, and take large doses of laughter each day. Money is fleeting, but memories last forever.

5. The Perfect Life Situation

“Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass…It’s about learning to dance in the rain.” – Vivian Greene

The pursuit of perfection is never-ending unless you choose to change your idea of flawlessness. If you always seek perfection in life and are never satisfied with how things are, how will you be satisfied with life in the future? What if life never seems perfect in your eyes? The truth is, the idea of perfection is relative.

Perfection exists if you wish it to, meaning that any situation can be perceived as perfect. You may never have the “perfect” job, “perfect” house, or “perfect” family. But you can change your mind about them and find beauty in the imperfect. Unhappy people wait for perfection before they are happy. However, happy people make the best of each situation, finding something positive in the darkest places.

Life naturally has ups and downs; this rollercoaster makes us better able to appreciate the good by experiencing the bad If you want to be happier, embrace your life and learn to look at it as a story constantly unfolding; you don’t have to know the ending to be happy with the middle and beginning.

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6. Recognition From Others

“What the superior man seeks is in himself; what the small man seeks is in others.” – Confucius

Relying on others to approve our decisions or give us praise for something we’ve accomplished usually leads to disappointment because people don’t always notice. They might be too busy, forget to reply to your text or email, or even refuse to recognize your accomplishments due to jealousy. Whatever the reason, looking outside yourself for approval often leads to unhappiness because your ego needs others to validate your achievements constantly. It is never satisfied and feeds on continual attention from others.

Learning to pat yourself on the back without relying on others to fuel your confidence will teach you self-reliance and show you that the most reliable source of praise comes from within. If others aren’t around to take note of your latest triumph, you always will be. Unhappy people need others to give them recognition. In contrast, self-actualized, happy people give themselves validation and look at compliments outside themselves as humbling reminders of what they already know.

pop meme7. Being Famous

“With fame, you know, you can read about yourself, somebody else’s ideas about you, but what’s important is how you feel about yourself – for survival and living day to day with what comes up.” — Marilyn Monroe

Many people get motivated at the chance of getting famous; they think by gaining fame and attention, that their business will grow, they will be more popular, they will have more money, and life will be much more enjoyable. Celebrities glorify fame, making it seems glamorous and appealing for many reasons. People fight to take pictures with them, rush to stores to buy their latest products, and even want to be them. However, it would be best if you didn’t wait to be famous for being happy. What if fame never comes? You should learn to be happy with the friends and family you have now. They love and support you and want to see you happy.

Unhappy people seek fame to feed their ego, looking at others’ opinions as paths to eternal happiness. However, happy people don’t look at fame as a means to an end, but rather a possible byproduct of living life to the fullest each day and following their hearts.

What other do familiar places unhappy people seek happiness?   Add to the discussion below!

4 Ways to Stay Stress Free During the Holidays

The holidays are a time to gather with friends and family to enjoy the festivities the season brings. Everyone seems to look forward to the holidays, the time off of school and work, and even coziness with movies by a fire.

However, the holiday season can also be a huge source of stress.

How we perceive a situation and how we react to it is the basis of our stress. If you focus on the negative in any situation, you can expect high stress levels. However, if you try and see the good in the situation, your stress levels will greatly diminish.” – Catherine Pulsifer

To prepare presents, host parties, bake goodies, have family stay over, and decorate, the stress can easily add up.  This can make the holidays seem like more a chore than a celebration. If this sounds like you during the holidays, try to implement these tips into your daily routine this season.  You’ll feel less overburdened with stress and can embrace more of the true joy the holiday season brings.

Here are 4 Ways to Stay Stress-Free During the Holidaysholiday-stress

1 – Don’t take on more than you can handle.

If your family expects you to host the holiday gatherings this year, but you don’t think you can manage, don’t be afraid to speak up and ask if they might be able to host instead. You might have other obligations, or simply not have time to get the house ready for a big party.  There’s nothing wrong with asking someone else in the family to host or getting photo booth hire at https://photomebooth.co.uk/.

You could always offer to bring more snacks or decorations to help them get everything ready for guests. That way, you can still make an important contribution without feeling overwhelmed.

Prioritizing tasks can also help you keep you motivated and control the need for a last-minute rush. Many people pack way too much into their days, often producing mounting stress.  If you have to, make a physical list of everything you need to get done.  According to a Harvard study, writing down your goals can dramatically improve your chances for success.

Make sure your “To Done” List (as we like to call it) only includes a few key tasks you need to complete each day. It’s much easier to manage stress when you’re reasonable with what you can accomplish within a specific time-frame.

If you can’t get something done that day, move it to the next day, or even ask someone for help -it’s OK!

2 – Do something fun each day.

The holidays don’t have to be all work and no play.  Even if you have a lot to do, you can still set aside a little time each day to step away from the chaos of the holidays and nourish your spirit with people and activities that make your heart happy.  After a certain time, set an agreement with yourself to stop what you’re doing and take time for you.  You’ll get everything done that you need to at the right time.

If you can’t get any alone time, spend time with family and friends doing something that doesn’t involve preparation and effort. Play a board game, watch movies, go eat at your favorite restaurant or something your group can enjoy together.

Leading up to major holidays, you might feel strapped for time and rush to finish cooking and wrapping presents at the last minute.

3 – Keep healthy eating habits.

During the holidays, it can be tempting to indulge in treats more often than you should but think of how you will likely feel after the holidays are over. Make a pact with yourself to keep up your normal eating habits throughout the holidays, with some “cheat meals” sprinkled in here and there. Of course, many folks enjoy it, and eat what they want in the celebration of the holidays. But it’s easy to let a couple of days of treating yourself turn into a few more days, then weeks, then months.

To make sure you stay on track, start a healthy holiday eating challenge with friends, so you can hold each other accountable and also have workout buddies to rely on. The holidays can be a prime time for putting on pounds, and weight gain can often be a trigger for stress in a person’s life.

And if you love desserts, (who doesn’t?) try making them lower-fat by using applesauce instead of oil. This way, you can still enjoy your favorite foods without worrying about how your jeans will fit the next day. Making delicious food that everyone enjoys is an important part of the holiday season.  When you feed your body well, you will feel good, leaving less room for stress to creep into your life.

4 – Embrace whatever happens.

Even if you go to the ends of the Earth to make sure something turns out perfectly, it may not always go as planned. Sometimes, you just have to embrace what’s going on in life and make the best of it.

You might put a pie in the oven while you go put the baby down for a nap or take a shower. And before you know it, the pie gets a little too brown on top. Or, you might go out shopping, expecting to find all your gifts in one day, but only come out with a few. Thinking about what could have happened is futile.  The moment has already happened. Now you get to create new things in this moment.

There’s always a new day, so don’t stress too much if things don’t go as planned. You may even come to discover that the pie burned because someone else in your family already made the exact same one to bring later, and maybe you didn’t find all your presents because the store you go to the next day will have the perfect gifts for everyone on your list. Whatever happens this holiday, embrace it.  Love it or learn from it.

Keeping calm during the holidays and choosing not to worry about the little things can make a big difference in how much stress you put yourself under. Worrying about something doesn’t solve the problem; it only creates more to worry about. Remember this the next time you find yourself in a stressful situation, and remember – you control your reality. You only feel stressed if you choose to, so choose positively!

Your Turn–Share How You’ll Keep Stress in Check During the Holiday Season

How do you handle stress during the holidays? We’d love to chat – join in the discussion below!

11 Simple Ways To Stay Motivated When You Need It Most

Motivation is a powerful emotion. It enables us to steadily move forward in our lives – towards our dreams, goals, and objectives. Being motivated is the fuel that fills the tank of our ambition and allows us to overcome the inevitable obstacles.

However, remaining motivated is elusive and often hinges on the circumstances of our lives. This being the case, it is important to have a plan in place to re-motivate ourselves when we feel nothing of the sort. None of us want to feel lethargic and without purpose. In having a plan to re-motivate ourselves, we effectively neutralize procrastination and other debilitating emotions that keep us from taking action.

“The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential… these are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence.” – Confucius

Here are 11 ways that we can stay motivated when we need it most:

1. Break down large tasks

You have probably heard this before: “How do you eat an elephant?”

“One bite at a time…”

While certainly corny, this riddle has some legitimacy. You have big goals, big dreams, and a life that you picture for yourself. In fact, these goals are so big that you become paralyzed by the feelings of unattainability.

You can’t allow yourself to become mentally paralyzed.; not if you are serious about achieving your dreams. You must take small action steps that eventually lead to the realization of these dreams. You have to take one small bite, and then the next, then the next…until you are done with that elephant of a goal.

Break that goal down into small steps and then get after it.

2. Mentally prepare for work

Let’s be honest: work is not fun for most of us. We spend the majority of our day in some cubicle, at some desk, or elsewhere when we’d rather be actually enjoying life. Regardless, work is a necessity that allows you to provide for yourself and your loved ones. To make the most of it, it helps to mentally prepare.

Research shows that intelligence accounts for about 30% of achievement; the rest is mental preparation. When you are mentally prepared, you prepare yourself for success.

Before an athlete steps onto the field of play, they are preparing themselves mentally. Some do this through visualization – rehearsing what they’re going to do to allow them to win. Some meditate, listen to music, read, and even pray. Find the right preparation technique for you that will get those productive, creative juices flowing.

3. Remember your past successes.

The ability to move forward and push the envelope of success is great for advancing society. This ability has allowed us to explore space, map the genome, cure polio, and achieve countless other feats.

Naturally, we feel the need to keep moving forward and achieve more success in our lives. However, we must be able to give ourselves credit when credit is due. Remembering your success boosts self-confidence and motivates you to push on.

Maybe you’ve built a successful business, finished a degree, helped someone in need, or something that makes you proud. The point is this: remember your times of success, as it regenerates motivation and allows you to overcome discouragement.

4. Discover your purpose, and live it!motivation-quote

It’s never too late to put dreams into action, nor is there anything wrong with starting later in life. If you’re still breathing, there’s still time.

Your true purpose does not need to translate into a job or source of income, although it’s certainly a nice benefit. You should, however, know your passions and what makes you feel alive, and then go about doing these things.

When you are unmotivated or unhappy, chances are that you are not living out your passions. Do what you love doing and feel the power of a fulfilling life.

5. Live every moment, every day to the fullest.

Here’s something to contemplate: right now is all that you are guaranteed. You are not assured tomorrow, nor is anything else in your life. Uncomfortable? Maybe, but it is 100% true.

Living your life to the fullest can only be accomplished one way: being present. Whatever task is facing you, positive or negative, wanted or unwanted, should be approached with 100% presence of thought.

Now, no one does this al of the time – we’re human after all. But we should do it as often as possible. Remind yourself to be present and live each moment. Then witness how much more fulfilling and motivating your life is.

6. Get outside of your self-imposed box.

Fears and self-imposed, false limitations make it difficult to attain a successful mindset. Perhaps more disturbing is that these fears and limitations are dream crushers.

Here’s what Michael Jordan, possibly the greatest athlete of all time, says about fears and limitations: “Never say never because limits, like fears, are often just an illusion.”

Recognize these illusions as false and let them go.

7. Stimulate your creativity.

Many methods – good and bad – have been derived to help “stimulate” creativity. Similarly, research has also been varied on how to effectively boost creativity. There are, however, a few commonly-accepted ways to boost creativity.

– Psychological distance – imagining that the creative task is disconnected and distant, rather than personal and accessible. In essence, this involves putting the task outside of your mind’s view and observing the results.

– Daydreaming – Most studies show that both daydreaming and napping help with the creative thinking process. One catch: this works best with projects where much time and effort has already been invested.

– Exercise – Research shows that exercise helps creative thinking due to its ability to get the heart pumping and the endorphins (“feel good” hormones) flowing in your brain.

8. Replace negative thoughts with positive ones.

Perception is not reality and never will be. It’s simple: negative thoughts are usually a result of your brain being on auto-pilot. Cut the self-doubt and press forward with your goals.

Choose to consciously embrace being present in every situation, and you’ll find that more positive thoughts enter your mind throughout the day.

9. Cut back on distractions.

Distractions kill motivation, plain and simple.

As much as technology and social media has benefited our society, it has also created a following of distracted, unmotivated individuals. This following is a by-product of the “always-on”, “always connected” society that we’ve embraced.

Those of us guilty of these distractions have to shoulder much of the blame. Our lack of self-discipline makes it possible for Facebook, Twitter, and the others to make this content (and therefore their companies) viral and always accessible.

The solution for these and other distractions is simple: focus on one task at a time, and only allow distractions when that task is complete. You’ll find that this becomes much, much easier with time and practice!

10. Follow or surround yourself with motivated, successful people.

Jim Rohn, the uber-famous self-help guru and motivational speaker, states: “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

If your inner circle consists of unmotivated, unambitious people, how can you expect to be motivated? Remember, human beings have an innate tendency to absorb what is around them, including the either positive or negative thoughts and attitudes of others.

If you desire to be motivated and successful, you must surround yourself with people that reciprocate these ambitions.

motivated

11. Write down your goals, and how to achieve them.

In 1979, Harvard MBA students participated in a study. These individuals were asked “have you set clear, written goals for your future and made plans to accomplish them?” You must know what you want!

In response, 3% had written goals and plans, 13% had goals but weren’t written down, and 84% had no goals.

Ten years later, the results were these:

-13% of those who had goals but hadn’t written them down were earning twice the amount of the 84% who had no goals.

-The 3% who had written goals were earning ten times the amount as the other 97% combined!

This study is nothing short of incredible, and speaks to the power of writing down goals. Specifically, you should: create a vision (what do you want?), make it measurable (a written list of concrete goals and timeframe), set benchmarks (very small, measurable action steps), and remember to celebrate your successes!

 How do you find motivation when you need it most?  Add to the value in the conversation below!

4 Signs You’re in a Lasting Relationship

When people see romantic relationships through the lens of a TV or movie screen, they typically get the wrong idea. Those fantasies don’t mirror what actual, lasting relationships are like. So, the beginning of a relationship can be a lot like what you see in the movies. However, those loves that last the longest become more “real” further on down the road.

In real relationships, it’s not always rainbows and butterflies. But both of you will always be able to count on one another. A real, lasting relationship built on true love withstands the ups and downs of life. Indeed, both people usually come out stronger and feel even closer to one another than before.

Don’t know what kind of relationship you’re in at the moment? We are sharing some signs that your relationship can turn into one that lasts.

4 Signs You Are in a Strong Relationship

relationship

1. Both of You Are Comfortable Spending Time Apart

After a while of being together, you might miss your alone time where you spend a few hours in nature, read your favorite books, or take a yoga class. At the beginning of a relationship, you naturally want to spend as much time with the person as you can. That feeling arises because everything about it feels fresh and new, and you absolutely love the person you’re with.

Of course, you still feel the same about your guy or girl after a few months. However, you might crave some time away from them occasionally to continue your own personal growth.

While your partner should be a huge part of your life, it’s important to make sure they’re not the only part of your life. Research shows that once a relationship becomes stagnant, people start to forget why they’re in the relationship, to begin with, and look for a way out so they can feel that initial spark again with someone new. To avoid having this happen, hanging out with friends or spending time alone is important in keeping the spark alive in the relationship. Thus, it is beneficial to plan for time spent apart.

If you’re able to do that in your relationship without feeling abandoned or feeling like you can’t trust your partner with how he or she spends time apart from you, you are most likely in a real relationship that has serious lasting potential.

2. You Have Similar Values and Morals

In the “talking” phase of your relationship, you probably talked to your partner about your hobbies, interests, favorite memories from childhood, and what your family is like. Sharing these things with your partner helps them get to know a little bit about you as a person, and likely set the stage for a second date.

Somewhere down the road, you probably wanted to know them on a deeper level and get an idea of their core values and morals. If both of you have very different interests and hobbies, but connect on a deeper, spiritual level, you will have a higher chance of making a lasting connection than two people who have no core values in common. In other words, the way you choose to live your life should match up with how your partner chooses to live theirs.

If both of you have the same outlook on how to handle finances, how to raise children, where to live, have similar spiritual practices, and have the same general outlook on life, you will probably be able to maintain the relationship in the long-term.

The main point to take from this is that hobbies and interests change, while core values and beliefs usually don’t. Having these in common is key to making relationships last, according to a study done by researchers at Michigan State University.

relationship

3. You Handle Problems Effectively

In both relationships and life, problems inevitably happen. You must learn how to deal with them. The ability to figure out solutions together can strengthen your relationship – and keep it running smoothly. Realizing that you can tackle problems as a team and talk things through to solve the problem makes for a much happier and long-lasting relationship. If both of you have similar problem-solving strategies and can get through the trials in life just as well as the triumphs, this type of compatibility sets the stage for a serious relationship.

Being able to see things from each other’s point of view and respect one another’s opinion while compromising when you need to makes relationships much easier. Most relationships end because of differences in dealing with financial problems or not being able to communicate with each other. But a sign of lasting relationships is being able to withstand life’s storms as a team.

A couple married for 75 years said that the key to making a relationship work long-term is communication, even if that means arguing in order to solve a problem. Whatever your style of problem-solving might be, you and your partner should resolve things quickly and easily.  Without too much conflict, chances are you have the ability to make things work in the future. According to Dr. Preston Ni, “Successful couples have the ability to solve problems and let [them] go.”

4. You Can Communicate Openly

In order to make a relationship last, it’s important to be able to talk about emotions, problems, and ideas in an open manner without feeling judged or misunderstood. All strong relationships have three things in common: trust, commitment, and vulnerability, according to psychologist and relationship expert Meredith Hansen. Open communication certainly involves being vulnerable and committed to understanding your partner’s needs. Furthermore, healthy communication is usually the key ingredient in the recipe for a lasting relationship.

If both of you can keep the conversation flowing even after the first few months of the relationship, you will probably be able to keep open communication years down the road.  Do you feel you can talk to your partner about any topic? Then, the relationship is likely to last.  Communication is one of the most important elements of a lasting relationship.

Final Thoughts on Having a Long-Lasting Relationship

What other sign of a lasting relationship have you experienced in your own life?  Add to the discussion below!

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