7 Effective Ways to Manage Anxiety

The American Psychological Association (APA) defines anxiety as “an emotion characterized by feelings of tension, worried thoughts and physical changes like increased blood pressure.”

Pretty much all of us can resonate with having had a bout of anxiety… maybe even within the last 24 hours.

Anxiety is incredibly common; especially in this crazy, tuned-in (but not really), smartphone carrying, an ultra-competitive society that we find ourselves in. To be perfectly clear, having occasional anxiety is completely normal. All of us get overwhelmed from time to time, with the demands and stressors of life an almost daily occurrence.

Here are 7 effective, practical ways to deal with anxiety in your life:

“People tend to dwell more on negative things than on good things. So the mind becomes obsessed with negative things, with judgments, guilt and anxiety produced by thoughts about the future and so on.” – Eckhart Tolle, author of “The Power of Now”

1. Remember… anxiety is impulsive.

Sometimes our brain works in mysterious ways. Actually, make that most of the time. Impulsivity is something that we are all subject to from time to time…and it’s automatic.

Our brains have a “fight or flight” mechanism, attributed to evolutionary changes in the brain responsible for controlling how the body functions in an emergency. Here is a brilliant analogy that was found when scouring the web…

While drinking your second cup of coffee at work, you hear your boss say “Could I see you in my office?” Upon hearing these words, the hypothalamus of your brain messages your adrenal glands and within seconds your body is summoning all of the same powers that your cavemen ancestors needed when encountering a wild animal.

As you enter the bosses’ office, you are now experiencing a full-fledged fight or flight response. You know that you can’t flee, so instead, all that energy is just building up inside until you feel like you’re ready to explode. Then, your boss looks your straight in the eye…”We’re considering you for a promotion.”

2. Remind yourself that anxious feelings are temporary.

As with nearly everything else, anxiety comes and goes. The reason for this is simple: our body, mind, and life experiences are constantly changing. As such, our brains must constantly change and adapt.

Uncertainty is without a doubt the most powerful and common precursor of anxiety. When we feel out of control in any way, we are almost always going to experience an anxious response.  When you’re feeling overwhelmed or out of control, remember that these feelings are temporary.  “This too shall pass…”

And then? Well, it begins to go away…

 3. Get active.

Exercise is probably the best antidote to anxiety. It doesn’t matter what kind of exercise– bike, hike, swim, run, shoot hoops – do whatever as long as the heart is pumping as a good rate. Simply put: exercise boosts our mood. Interestingly, exercise of any form has been shown to be as effective (if not more so) than antidepressants.  Not only does exercise boost your mood, but the exposure to fresh clean air and sunshine can also quickly brighten your mood.

In a book called “The Depression Cure”, clinical psychologist states: “Exercise changes the brain. It increases the activity level of important brain chemicals such as dopamine and serotonin…(it) also increases the brain’s production of a key growth hormone that normally plummets in depression…some parts of the brain start to shrink over time, and learning and memory are impaired…exercise reduces this trend, protecting the brain in a way nothing else can.”

4. Treat yourself well.

When we are not feeling well, our innate response is to rest; maybe even make ourselves a hot cup of tea and try to get some sleep. This response is almost automatic…we’ve been “trained” to do this when we don’t feel well.

When we feel anxious, we don’t feel well. The only difference is that we need to be more proactive about how we treat ourselves because we have more control over how we respond, unlike most physical illness.

So, be proactive by meditating, reading something inspiring, getting some rest, getting outdoors…whatever brings feelings of joy and peace, do it. Be your own advocate.

 5. Focus on your breath.

Depending on where and when our anxious feelings occur, we may be limited in how they’re dealt with. If in a cubicle at work or in a crowded public area, bringing attention to your breath is a great way to help ease anxiety.

Bring focus to the breath for a few moments – put one hand on the abdominal area and another on the chest while trying to make the abdominal area move more. The reason: when we are anxious we have a tendency to breathe in a more shallow fashion (with more chest movement).

Make a conscious effort to fill up the abdominal/diaphragm/belly area with deep, mindful inhalations. Then slowly exhale while feeling the anxiety fleeing.  Take a deep breath in for 4 seconds, and slowly exhale over an 8-second count.  Or focus only on your breath for 60 seconds while attempting to think of nothing else.

Proper oxygen sent to the brain can immediately bring a sense of reason back into your mind, allowing your anxiety to diminish.

6. Understand the human brain.

This is another way of reminding us that we are not our brains. This fact cannot be reiterated enough, yet it is often overlooked, or unknown by many.

Neuroscientists, psychologists, and psychiatrists all say the same thing… we have the emotional, primitive parts of our brain (the ‘amygdala’) that is responsible for the generation and processing of primal emotions (fear, worry), and the logical parts – the frontal lobes and cortex which are educated, sophisticated, and reasoning.

In layman’s terms – we have both the drama queen from the local community theatre and the distinguished, intellectual Harvard professor telling us what to do.

7. Distract yourself.

We may have the most complex, advanced brains in the animal kingdom but that doesn’t mean that we aren’t susceptible to a nice, juicy distraction every now and then.

When anxiety is rampant, we want to get out of our own heads as much as possible. It really doesn’t matter how it’s done – a movie, game, book, magazine, puzzle, etc. – as long as it gets the mind to focus onto something else.

 

How have you overcome anxiety?  Add your valuable resources into the discussion below…

“I never did a day’s work in my life. It was all fun.” – Thomas Edison

The greatest inventor of all time certainly knew how to keep things in perspective, didn’t he? While you may not have the inventive capability of Mr. Edison, you can certainly make a conscious effort to have fun and enjoy your life.

Most of us live a busy life and you are probably no different. Between family, work, and sleep, you may have a maximum eight hours of “free time,” the majority of which is probably used up in general, everyday tasks.

Relaxation and having some fun is not a luxury, it’s a necessity. Your mind and body need rejuvenation for you to be both healthy and productive. We call this stress release.

Here are 7 ways to help create some fun in your busy life.

 1. Leave work at work

This is a big one because when you take your work home your time is no longer your time. The stressors of the day continue when you should be enjoying something else– having dinner with family, catching up with your kids, having some quiet time, or whatever else you enjoy.

In the article “4 Ways to Leave Work at Work,” Psychology Today’s Margarita Tartakovsky provides some recommendations for those having trouble with leaving work at work. Among them, she recommends consciously releasing your nagging thoughts through a short, meditative practice.

To release any thoughts left over from work, close your eyes for one minute and breathe mindfully. Notice any negative thoughts as they arise and let them go with each exhale. Continue to focus on your breath and conclude the practice by slowly opening your eyes and gradually moving your body.

2. Be in the present moment.

Being present is applicable to nearly every area of our life and this includes your fun time.

It is not necessary to multitask and “keep busy” all of the time. Doing so simply adds to your stress and makes enjoying yourself more difficult. Forget catching up on emails, sending text messages, or checking the news when you’re doing something on your own time.

Instead, take the time to be present and enjoy whatever it is that you are doing. You’ll realize two things: whatever it is you’re doing is more enjoyable and there is significantly less stress in your mind and body.

3. Schedule time for R&R.

Just as your schedule conference calls and deadlines, schedule some time for fun.

A new movie coming out that want to see? Schedule it. Need some fun time alone with one of your kids? Schedule it. Just as importantly, stick with your fun schedule and treat it as you would a meeting with your boss. If it’s important to you, it’s important enough.

4. Give yourself some time each morning.

It’s true that how you approach the morning sets the tone for the entire day. Set aside 15 to 30 minutes for something that helps you transition into your day – just make sure that whatever you do is not work-related.

For this morning routine, do something enjoyable that would really provide a boost. This could be: reading something inspirational, meditation, exercise, a cup of coffee or tea with the morning paper… just do something that brings you joy. You’ll find your mood is more pleasant and productive as you start tackling the items on your “to-do” list.

5. Make fun time non-negotiable while realizing its importance.

As you schedule a time for some fun, certain things may come up that demand your attention. The simple rule that you should stick with is: if whatever comes up is not urgent, it can wait. Remember, this time is a necessity for your overall wellbeing. Your mental and physical health is not something that you should take lightly or allow someone else to either.

According to Scientific American, an overwhelming number of studies have shown that downtime increases concentration, expands attention, encourages creativity, and strengthens memory. Within the study, performing a relaxing, fun activity for just 10 minutes can increase your brain capacity and reduce physical stress.

Pretty convincing…and all the more reason to stick with this scheduled time.

6. Enjoy life’s simple pleasures.

“It’s the simple things in life.” How many times have you heard this? It is and will forever remain a true statement.

The problem is that we are overstimulated and inundated with information from everywhere… our brains are on overdrive for much of the workday… in short – our busy lives can make it difficult to realize and enjoy the simple things in life.

However, taking even a minute to mindfully appreciate simple pleasures in your life can make an amazing difference. More exciting, these simple pleasures can be found everywhere and at nearly anytime.

Here are some ideas – your morning cup of coffee, breakfast with your kids, listening to music, a good meal, the sunset, a quiet place in the park, a day in the snow or the sunshine, a brief chat with someone new…many, many things can be considered a simple pleasure and enjoyed.

7. Put one or more ideas on this list into practice right now.

Enjoying your life is so important, yet we have a tendency to treat it like enjoyment is a luxury – it’s not.

Your time is a precious thing that once gone can never be taken back. Take this time when you’d normally be reading the 7^th item on some list to really contemplate how important it is to enjoy yourself while making a commitment to put one or more of these suggestions into practice.

 

Your turn: Do you have a suggestion for how to fit fun into your busy life? Please share with us!

“There is nothing so strong or safe in an emergency of life as the simple truth.” – Charles Dickens

The often hectic nature of your life can frequently result in forgetfulness. From the moment you wake, you’re already thinking about what you need to do, where you need to be, and how to go about accomplishing the things that demand your attention. Often forgotten in this daily routine are simple realities and truths of life that we all need to remember.

Some truths of your existence can indeed be complex – your purpose, relationships, psychology… but there are also simple, universal truths that you can and should recognize. The recognition and application of these simple truths will make your life flow more easily

Here are 7 easily forgotten simple truths that can help you in your daily life.

Truth #1 – Accepting your flaws is much easier than fighting them.

Everyone has things about themselves that they wish they could change – intellect, looks, health, and a myriad of other attributes. This is especially true when it comes to how we appear, physically and otherwise, to other people.

The important thing to remember here is that the people who truly love you do so with full acceptance if not knowledge of, your flaws. Of course, in recognizing your “flaws” you take one step closer to loving yourself – the most important kind of love.

Truth #2 – Attempting to fight things beyond your control can be fruitless (and even harmful).

Things “beyond your control” include any and all situations and events that happen without your influence. There can be countless other scenarios that are without a doubt tough situations, but ones in which your impact is limited or even null.  The importance of recognizing and accepting things beyond your control is paramount. Many people go their entire lives attempting to control the uncontrollable. The result is excessive worry, stress, and impairment in the quality of life. Sometimes, this undue stress can manifest itself into physical symptoms if not controlled.

When a tough situation happens in your life, think of it as an opportunity to build upon your character and strength. Remember, “This too shall pass,” and you’ll be a better, stronger individual because of it.

Truth #3 – Emotional decisions are often bad ones.

Allowing temporary emotions, however strong they may be, to displace your logic and intellect is never a good practice. When you make an emotional decision, you are reactive and not proactive. These reactions occur with a very small amount of conscious thought and the presence of too many momentary feelings that will flee once you take yourself out of the situation.

A good rule of thumb is to allow yourself to feel whatever the emotion may be, take a few deep breaths, isolate yourself from the situation if possible, and give yourself a moment to think. Remember this quick practice whenever an impulse arises that may result in regret later.

Truth #4 – Every mistake is a teachable moment.

No matter how diligent, mindful, responsible, or disciplined you are you will make mistakes. Human beings are fallible, and although you are probably a good person, mistakes happen. It’s a part of life.

The beautiful thing is that every mistake that you make teaches you something new and takes you one step closer to your destination. Every time you make a mistake, it builds on that inner strength that already resides in your being.

Results of your mistakes always end up in one of two ways – you either succeed or you learn something valuable. Not a bad deal at all. Repeating the same mistake over and over without eventually learning from it is the only true error.

Truth #5 – Life is too short not to appreciate it.

You are truly a fortunate creature – given an authentically unique existence that nobody else will ever experience. Regardless of the circumstances facing you, there are small things in your life to be grateful for. Life always has its beautiful moments, even if they go unrecognized some of the time.

The best advice here is to try and be mindful and present in every situation. For example, if you are eating dinner with your family, only eat dinner with your family. Turn the TV off, put away the smartphone, and just appreciate your loved ones while enjoying a meal. Whatever the situation is, just be present.

Truth #6 – You have gifts that no one else does.

Our society is a hyper-competitive one. It’s all about the next deal, money, promotions, a bigger house, a nicer car, more education, more overtime… it may feel you are chasing a train on a never-ending track. The result of this mentality being ingrained into your being is that you end up feeling inadequate or shortchanged in some way.

But remember – you are different. You have different strengths and intricate abilities that truly no one else has. So when you find yourself playing a circus game with Life as the evil carnie, take a few moments to remember (even write down) your truly unique abilities and be grateful for them.

Truth #7 – Love is the most precious part of our existence.

The most important, simple truth of them all and one that can be easily taken for granted. At the end of your journey, what is going to matter the most to you? The response is simple for the vast majority of us – the time we spent with the ones we love.  All of the possessions in the world won’t hold a stick to the moments you spent (being present!) with the people who love you unconditionally. In the end, truly nothing else matters.

Do something your future self will thank you for and take some time each day to remember #7. Then, be with your loved ones as if nothing else in the world exists …for as long as you can.

YOUR TURN:  What simple truths have you held with you in life that make it flow more easily?  Share in the discussion below!

Without question, happy people stand out among us. Regardless of what they are doing at the moment, happy people always seem to be positive, energetic, and joyful. Happy people live, act, and speak much differently than their less positive counterparts.

But it’s not just what the happy people do that sets them apart. It’s what they rarely do that truly makes them unique (we say “rarely” here because we can’t be perfect but we CAN strive toward excellence daily).  Simply put – the self-control and self-awareness that positive and happy people display is truly something to behold…they make it look so easy.  So what do happy people avoid?

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” – Gandhi

Here are 7 things happy people rarely do:

1. Happy people rarely… seek approval or validation from others.

Happy people are content to be themselves… in fact, they love themselves unashamedly and unabashedly. This self-love manifests itself in approval and validation – making it unnecessary to seek either from externalities – namely, people.

Truth be told, many of us place way too much emphasis on what others think about us; so much emphasis, that seeking approval or validation from others becomes an addiction. But here’s the bottom line: we can only be the best people we can be, not everyone is going to view us in a positive light, and being you, while showing true character, is the fastest way to earning respect.

2. Happy people rarely…depend on other people, places, or things for happiness.

Speaking of externalities… happy people don’t depend on people or material possessions for their own happiness. In making a conscious decision to remove possessions, money, people, and circumstances out of the equation, happiness is derived and experienced from simply being and loving yourself.

Concisely stated – happiness is a mindset. A mindset is something that is learned, acquired, and put into practice. Our mindset has absolutely nothing to do with external influences…it can only be influenced if we let it.

3. Happy people rarely… play the victim. Rather, they play the victor.

Happy people and the victim mentality do not jive. The reason is because the happy among us have a mindset of victory and fortitude. In other words, happy people depend on the power they know they have to come out victorious. This is not to say that they won’t experience bumps and bruises, disappointments and failures along the way… they just don’t let it get the best of them.

Here’s a nice, easy formula to remember: inner happiness = inner strength. Happy people are strong mentally; winning the battle against whatever internal or external opposition that happens to confront them.

4. Happy people rarely… live in the past, nor worry about the future.

Right now, there are people all around us with innately unique gifts to offer the world and make it a better place… truly gifted people that have so much to give. But they won’t. They won’t because of mistakes made in their past and can’t let them go for whatever reason. This is a tragic reality of the world we live in: some people will never realize their rightful future because they can’t see anything beyond their past.

To be truly happy and realize our potential, we must not live in the past nor worry much about the future. The past is just that…an old event – an event that has no real significance to the true character inside.

5. Happy people rarely…hold onto grudges.

In holding onto the “past,” grudges are another unfortunate result of doing so. These grudges can be within us or with others. The disappointment that results by making a decision that you regret, or disappointment from someone having wronged you is normal. The problem is when we hold onto these grudges for too long.

The answer lies in forgiveness – of ourselves and of others. We cannot turn back the clock to make different decisions, nor can we alter the motives of people who have wronged us. The most powerful thing that we can do recognize the error or affront, accept it, grow and learn from it, and let it go by forgiving yourself or someone else.

6. Happy people rarely… live dishonestly.

To live an honest life takes an incredible amount of courage, fortitude, and character. Why? Because our world has become embraced an altered reality – one in which lying is simply something that “everyone does.”

Regardless of what others may think, dishonesty is toxic because it completely skews our understanding of what is real, good, and normal. When we live in a society that accepts lying as the norm, we are susceptible to its influence. As happy people, we must remember that truth is natural, truth is real (by definition, too!), and truth is good in all situations.

 7. Happy people rarely…accept negative environments.

Our environment has a significant effect on our mindset. We must not allow our environments to disturb our right to inner happiness and peace.

Toxic people and toxic environments just exude negativity. Try walking into a place where everyone there hates their job – the bad aura and atmosphere quickly resonate. The same thing goes for people and places that continuously embrace a negative mindset.

By remaining positive and respectful with all people, you may indeed be helping change their outlook on life and bring some hope. Remain mindful that everyone has a story, and some people may be experiencing some hardship that you are unaware of. Also, remain mindful that you have a right to be positive and happy…when someone or somewhere begins to negatively impact this, you have the right to walk away if you so choose.

What do you try not to do to remain happy in your own life?

To feel as if you are a victim of your own thoughts is not a pleasant experience. Being barraged by a seemingly endless stream of negative thoughts is both exhausting and potentially even dangerous to your physical and mental health.

“The Buddhists have a great term for these (thought) excesses. They refer to them as the condition of “monkey mind.” A person in the throes of money mind suffers from a consciousness whose constituent parts will not stop bouncing from skull-side to skull-side, which keep flipping and jumping and flinging feces at the walls and swinging from loose neurons like howlers from vines…” – Daniel Smith, author of ‘Monkey Mind: A Memoir of Anxiety’

Regardless of what you may think about Buddha or the philosophy of his teachings, he was perhaps the most brilliant psychologist to have ever lived. Long before medication, cognitive therapy, and psychoanalysis, the Buddha was writing and teaching about the human mind with brilliant insight and wisdom.

A core tenant of his teachings was that of a “monkey mind,” describing (accurately) the fact that the human mind can be compared to that of drunken monkeys, where our thoughts are constantly chattering while jumping around aimlessly and endlessly.

These thoughts include those of a negative nature – fear, anxiety and worry among them. Negative thoughts, if prevalent and ceaseless, can indeed sabotage your life. Fortunately, there are some positive practices that will detoxify these drunken monkeys and put them back in their place.

Here are 5 different ways that you can keep negative thoughts from sabotaging your life.

1. Remember that your negative thoughts are automatic.

This cannot be stressed enough. When you are faced with an uncomfortable or undesirable situation, the responses that you often have inside your own mind are frequently automatic. In other words, you really don’t control them – but you do control the reaction that you have. We are going to discuss some specific practices below.

2.  Don’t fight your negative thoughts

Here’s something to remember: you cannot get rid of negative thoughts by engaging in a mental battle with them. These thoughts are not true anyways, so what’s the use in fighting something that is imaginary?

Here’s an analogy: consider a tabloid article about a celebrity engaging in their latest extramarital affair. Out of curiosity, you read the article’s outrageous claims and determine that there is no validity to it. The article is completely biased, its contents exaggerated and taken out of context. With no intent to buy, you put the tabloid and its useless drivel back on the shelf, shake your head, and just move on with your day. While inexplicably enticing, it provides nothing true, important or useful.
Same thing applies to your negative thoughts. It’s tabloid material for your mind.

3. Keep yourself and your thoughts productive

When you do something productive and of value, you are significantly decreasing the possibility of negative thoughts arising. After all, you are doing something enjoyable while realizing the inner fruits of your labor.

Have you ever heard the phrase “The idle mind is the Devil’s workshop?” You don’t need to be of any religious orientation or belief system to understand that remaining idle makes you vulnerable to negative thoughts and feelings. After all, you have a lot of time to think…too much time in many cases.

Read a book, write, listen to music, or check off something on your to-do list. Whatever you do, try to keep your mind engaged in something of value to you.

4. Be aware of the company you keep.

Outside of yourself, the presence of others is the most powerful influence on your thoughts. Therefore, stay away from people who are consistently negative and downtrodden. These types of people will drain your energy, lower your guard, and make you susceptible to negative thoughts and feelings.

In some cases, you may need to work with people like this. If so, limit your interaction to strictly business and nothing else. If these individuals insist on interacting with you, politely state that you have something to do – even if it’s checking the email on your phone). And, if necessary, verbalize your concerns and tell them (politely, but with firmness) that you are trying to keep a positive mindset and that their presence makes it difficult.

While certainly not the easiest thing to do, being straightforward and honest will get negative people thinking about their behavior, while potentially resulting in them making some positive changes. If nothing else, they will limit their interactions with you.

5. Stop procrastinating

Being human, many of us have the tendency to put thyesings off until absolutely necessary. While this tendency is certainly unproductive, procrastination also allows negative thoughts to creep in. These negative thoughts are often a by-product of guilt – you know what you need to do, you have the time to do it, yet you choose not to in favor of engaging in something more interesting.

To stop procrastinating requires both self-discipline and self-awareness. You must learn to control your impulses and redirect your energy towards the task at hand. Further, you must be aware of the fact that immediate gratification is really not gratifying at all. Instead, it produces weakness of character while managing to stunt your ambitions.

In closing…

If you have read the article to this point, you obviously have the mindset of a proactive individual and desire to rid yourself of negative thoughts. Good for you!

While getting rid of all negative thoughts may indeed be impossible, you can take some of the action steps mentioned in this article to drastically reduce their presence. Remember, you are not your negative thoughts. If nothing else, absorb this fact, commit it to memory, and repeat it every time you find a negative thought arising within your mind.

Never, ever let negative thoughts derail you from living the fruitful, happy life that you so deserve.
We hope that you all stay productive, healthy, and encouraged as you continue on in your life’s journey – each and every day.