Inspiration to your inbox

9 Signs You’re Overstressed

We, as a society, are an overstressed bunch of people.

Longer days; more work; less vacation; later retirement…do any of these sound familiar?

The truth is that most people are dealing with one or more of these situations in their life. In addition, most people believe that they are underpaid and overextended in their working lives. Combining the pressures of work with having to manage a hectic personal schedule can mean a very stressful existence.

Here are 9 signs you’re overstressed (and how to relax):

1. You become more anxious

Anxiety and stress are two sides of the same coin. Where one is present, the other one will be as well. Physical symptoms of anxiety often include muscle tension, rapid breathing, fast heartbeat, sweating, dizziness and fatigue.

Constant feelings of anxiety can result in an anxiety disorder such as Generalized Anxiety Disorder (or GAD). As a consequence, the anxiety manifests itself as uncontrollable worrying about bad things that may happen.

Practicing stress-management and relaxation techniques can help in dealing with the anxiety that results from stress. In some instances, you may want to seek help from a mental wellness professional who can counsel you on how to counteract the presence of anxiety in your life. There are also safe medications available if you and your doctor decide on that option.

2. You become more impatient when you’re overstressed

Constantly dealing with stressful situations can also reduce your patience level. Having a disposition of impatience can increase the damage that these stresses cause.

People who become more impatient will experience physical signs such as muscle tension, hand clenching, and shallow breathing. Mental processes can also be affected, causing more irritability, anxiousness, and impulsiveness.

If you experience symptoms of impatience, you need to find the true cause, or “trigger.” Make a list of things that are causing you to experience impatience and avoid or minimize your contact with these triggers.

Being aware of your breath, practicing mini-meditations, and exercise can assist with improving your patience and tolerance levels.

3. You lose your temper more quickly

When experiencing a stressful situation, your mental capacities diminish. As a result, you are more impulsive and it is easier to lose your temper. When you lose your temper, your anger overwhelms you and results in trouble communicating, and you often end up saying things that you later regret.

When you lose your cool, nothing good comes out of it. It will make you feel worse, make your situation worse, and cause additional problems that you’ll have to fix later. Try to think twice before allowing anger to control you and the situation by thinking about the consequences.

Walk away, breathe slowly, or take a quick break…losing your temper is not worth the negative consequences.

4. You forget things more often

Do you notice that when you’re stressed, it’s easier to forget things? You misplace your keys, forget important events, and fail to remember to complete work needing to be done.

This happens because stress has a negative impact on memory. According to neuroscientists and other experts, stress influences the part of the brain that processes information and is responsible for memorization. More specifically, the electrical signals in the brain that are associated with the formation of factual memories weaken when emotions (such as stress) strengthen.

The next time that you are under stress, remember that your brain’s default response is to enhance the emotional aspect, diminishing the ability to think logically. Remembering that your mental capacities diminish as a result will change your response; allowing you to more easily form memories in the brain.

5. You lose your focus more when you are overstressed

Stress occupies your mind with worry and distracts you from the focus required to manage everyday life. When this happens, productivity worsens and we feel little control over our mental processes.

According to a study done by Harvard University, this lack of feeling in control can lead to obsessive thinking, further inhibiting our ability to focus when it is needed. Self-induced stress is often the root cause of our inability to focus on what needs to be done.

One highlight of the Harvard study is very noteworthy. When we attempt to suppress our negative thoughts by “willing” away these contemplations, it only serves to make the thoughts more prevalent. The remedy for this is to allow these thoughts to simply fade away without any conscious effort. Doing so will allow us to focus our brains on what is in front of us instead of our impulses.

Practices such as single-tasking and minimizing distractions can dramatically help with focus.

6. You procrastinate more

Procrastination negatively affects both your career and your personal life. The inability to concentrate on what needs to be done results in feeling overwhelmed, resentful and guilty.

When stressed, it is very difficult to work productively. When we feel unproductive, we have a tendency to not want to work. This is when procrastination becomes a coping mechanism to deal with the stress. However, this mechanism is counterproductive because we often fail to meet our obligations…resulting in more stress.

Dr. Neil Fiore, author of the book The Now Habit suggests that making scheduled time for enjoyment can be an effective way to overcome procrastination. This means scheduling in advance the amount of time that is spent on entertainment, exercise, family time, hobbies, and social activities. This serves as a reminder to enjoy ourselves and that we don’t have to procrastinate on work to do so.

7. You solve problems slower

As mentioned, being overstressed has a negative impact on our brains. When stressed, our brains release the stress hormone norepinephrine, leading to a state of increased arousal. This arousal inhibits our ability to access the mental resources necessary to think flexibility, which affects our ability to solve problems.

Of course, avoiding the situations that inhibit our ability to think flexibly and practicing relaxation techniques are the natural ways to counteract this problem. As with most other symptoms of stress, it may also be wise to seek some kind of medical assistance.

8. You have more negative thoughts

Negative thoughts and a pessimistic outlook are telltale signs of being stressed out. This is a direct result of the chemical changes in the brain when we experience stress. This is commonsensical, yet we often fail to effectively manage reoccurring negative thoughts.

There are two solutions to this problem: not dwelling on negative thoughts and positive thinking.

As we’ve mentioned in prior articles, negative thoughts are automatic. These negative thoughts reflect a condition (stress in this case), but do not correlate with who you truly are as a person. Don’t allow your thoughts to sabotage you by dwelling on them. Don’t acknowledge their presence and just let them simply fade away.

Positive thinking simply means that you deal with stressful situations in a more positive way. To practice positive thinking, begin with self-talk – the unspoken thoughts that seem to run constantly through your head. This is important, as the manner in which you communicate with yourself affects your thinking, emotions, and self-esteem.

By learning to practice affirmations and rewarding yourself for a job well done will increase your positive self-talk. Other things that can do to increase positive self-talk include reading more, being creative, spending time around positive people, having fun, and setting goals. It may indeed take some time to realize the benefits of positive self-talk, but it will happen if you are patient.

9. You experience sickness and pain more often when you feel overstressed

stress

Stress has a negative effect on your body because it causes the body to release more hormones, suppresses the immune system, and produces tension in the head and body.

When your brain releases more hormones (such as adrenaline, cortisol and norepinephrine) it can produce tension headaches and migraines. The National Institutes of Health have reported that people who practice relaxation and stress-management techniques reduce their number of headaches by as much as 35 to 50 percent.

Being overstressed also causes tension, which triggers the sympathetic nervous system to reduce blood flow to the muscles. Backaches and neck pains are often the results, as are muscle spasms. Further, people experiencing stress have a tendency to tense their neck and shoulder muscles which makes the back and other areas of the body vulnerable to pain. In this case, it helps to be aware of your posture and avoid stressful situations.

The immune system is also suppressed when stress is prevalent. As a result, we are more likely to become sick. Individuals who experience frequent stress are much more vulnerable to illnesses such as colds and the flu. Avoiding stress whenever possible, and taking supplements such as Vitamin C or a multivitamin may protect against this vulnerability.

Join the discussion:

Share the stress management techniques that work best for you when you are overstressed in the discussion below!

21 Ways to Break Free From Self-Neglect

Is self-neglect holding you back in life?

From an early age, people are taught how to read and write, how to solve math problems, and how to be well mannered. We learn how to think critically and reach the next rung on the ladder toward success.

However, what we aren’t so thoroughly taught is how to manage one part of our lives that matters most: our own self.

Most people wake up one day to the realization that they have neglected themselves for years, opting to pay attention to the skills we learned in school to score well on tests, get into college, and find a good job. There’s a lot of pressure to fit into society. Unfortunately, that practice often leads to neglecting yourself and your desires to fit the mold others have shaped.

If you feel like you have been neglecting your true self, and want to reclaim your own individual power, here are 21 ways to release the self-neglect and give yourself what you deserve – self-respect!

1. Take charge of your own happiness.

When you rely on others as a source of happiness, you diminish the ability to feel happiness from within. You take away your own power and give it to someone else. By counting on anything or anyone outside yourself for the fulfillment, you discount your own capability of creating internal happiness. You perpetuate the cycle of self-neglect.

Next time you catch yourself looking elsewhere for happiness, stop! Then, backtrack and realize that you have all the tools you need to be happy. You just need to re-learn how to use them.

2. Eat healthier.

One of the greatest forms of self-neglect comes from how one chooses to eat. If you feed yourself highly processed, low nutrient foods, you might make your taste buds happy, but your mind, body, and soul will suffer. Caring about yourself includes giving your cells the nutrition they need to function properly, so replace fattening, packaged snacks with vibrant, fresh foods like fruit and vegetables. Your cells will thank you for feeding them what they really want!

3. Practice positive affirmations.

Another way to promote a healthy relationship with yourself is to think positive thoughts every single day. The moment you wake up, tell yourself something uplifting and inspiring, such as “I accomplish whatever I set my mind to.” This will set the right tone for the day and help you ward off negative thinking patterns that might fuel self-neglect.

4. Have a sacred space in your home.

Everyone needs somewhere to go for some peace and quiet, and you can create a space like this right in your own home! Most people call this an altar, but you can call it whatever you want so long as it brings you tranquility and relaxation. You can fill the area with your favorite paintings or pictures, crystals, incense, candles, tarot or angel cards, or statues of enlightened figures such as Buddha to help you connect to that sacred space within you.

5. Exercise frequently.

Exercise has proven benefits for the mind, body, and soul. Moving your body keeps your blood pumping, releases endorphins, and also promotes weight loss. If you have felt neglected lately, simply get off the couch and get moving! Exercise is one of the best ways to take care of yourself, and it doesn’t have to feel like boot camp, either. You can join an exercise group in your community, take classes at your gym, or even walk along a pretty nature trail near you. Any form of movement that you enjoy can help you develop a daily practice of self-love and care

6. Go outside.

This one can’t be stressed enough – sunlight contains Vitamin D, a vital nutrient for our bodies and minds to function properly. Plus, getting out in nature allows us to connect with the universe directly because no walls, doors, or technology exist to bar us from Earth’s energy when we go outside. Feeling the wind in your hair, the sun on your face, and the grass beneath your feet is one of the best forms of therapy out there, and the best part is, it’s free!

7. Follow your passions.

In reality, not many people can actually say they follow their dreams. Most people fill any void they might feel with shopping, food, a new job, relationships, more money, or bad habits. If you avoid your passion for too long, the universe will only keep nagging you until you fulfill it.

Neglecting your passion in life will result in continual unhappiness until you decide to fulfill those passions, whatever they might be. Don’t ever question your heart – it knows best.

8. Say no to things that don’t serve you.

Saying no is okay – you don’t have to feel bad for it. Part of caring for yourself is staying true to who you are regardless of the situations you might face. If a work buddy wants to go out for drinks but you gave up drinking years ago, don’t feel pressured to give in just to make others happy. Suggest another activity instead so you both can enjoy the outing.

You deserve to honor yourself and feel comfortable with the way you choose to live.

9. Laugh more often.

Unfortunately, many people don’t laugh enough in today’s world. Life demands a lot more out of us than it used to, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t take time each day to have fun and enjoy the little things. There are plentiful opportunities to laugh every day, whether that be from a youtube video, a joke from a coworker, or even at yourself.

Even if you have a lot of obligations or feel overwhelmed by life, laughter can take away the seriousness of it all in a heartbeat and remind you to think positively even when faced with adversity.

10. Pamper yourself.

Take some time out of your day to spoil yourself. Give yourself a manicure or pedicure, get a massage, take a relaxing bath with some bath salts or essential oils, or try out acupuncture or Reiki. All of these will relax you, rejuvenate your spirit, and will get you back in the habit of practicing self-love.

11. “Meditation, not medication.”

If you have been feeling anxious or depressed lately, take at least ten minutes out of your day to sit peacefully and clear your mind. Meditation has been proven to be more effective in many cases than taking anti-depressants or anxiety medications, and can even restore your cells and alter your DNA! Our minds become cluttered with endless mental noise throughout the day, so meditation can provide a reset and allow you to think more clearly.

12. Quit the job you hate.

No matter what the pay, no job is worth it if you don’t enjoy it. Many people let fear, embarrassment, or the opinions of others stand between them and leaving their job, but your happiness matters much more than a paycheck or what others may think of you.

Unfortunately, 76% of people are unsatisfied with their jobs, according to a recent Gallup poll. If you are one of those people, stand up for your own happiness and do what feels right in your own heart.

13. Choose a positive environment.

The bottom line is that you don’t have to stay somewhere that doesn’t make you happy. Go where your heart takes you, and your happiness will naturally increase. A negative environment can lead to all sorts of problems and does not facilitate growth and self-love. Just like surrounding yourself with positive people, choosing a happy environment can make all the difference between feeling excited about life, or completely miserable.

Don’t let fear stop you from moving if you need to– you deserve happiness, and a fresh start might be just what you need.

14. Pay attention to the shows you watch and the music you listen to.

When you turn on the TV or the radio, do you like what you see and hear? If not, turn these off and tune into something more positive. Most TV programs and songs on the radio today don’t send out a very positive message, and this can greatly affect your mood and outlook on life.

Make sure to nurture your soul and feed it positive information so you can tune into the positive energy and shut out the negative vibes and beat out self-neglect.

15. Spend less time on technology.

A lot of feelings of self-neglect originate from the fact that most of us spend almost all day on our phones or computers, and very little time with ourselves. Social media, especially, puts us in the habit of checking in with people at all hours of the day, and it can become highly addicting.

Give yourself a time limit for technology use each day so you can spend more time cultivating your relationship with yourself and those that matter most to you.

16. Sleep for 7-8 hours a night.

Most people neglect themselves each night by denying their need for sleep. On average, American adults sleep anywhere between four and six hours a night, so it’s no wonder that many of them feel out of touch with themselves and unenthusiastic about life. Sleep allows your cells to regenerate and gives your body the crucial rest that it needs. Make sure you turn off your phone an hour before bed each night and commit to going to bed at a decent hour.

17. Drink plenty of water.

Water should constitute the majority of the beverages you consume on a daily basis. All sorts of stimulatory, sugary drinks are sold on the market today, none of which can replace water and all its’ healing and restorative properties. Sodas, energy drinks, and coffee only dehydrate the body and fill it with unnecessary chemicals and caffeine. Water will hydrate your cells and regulate your bodily functions, so make sure to drink at least eight glasses a day so you can feel your best.

18. Believe in yourself.

You won’t be able to experience the greatest pleasures of life if you don’t first believe in your own abilities. You can do whatever your heart desires, but you have to believe that first. Love and honor yourself, and everything will fall into place. You can banish self-neglect from your life by harnessing this belief.

19. Embrace the unknown.

No one knows the future, so don’t try to predict it. Instead, follow your heart and ride the waves of uncertainty. Accept whatever may happen, and learn from it. A lot of self-neglect results from staying stagnant and becoming complacent. Take risks and get out of your comfort zone – you will feel a lot better about yourself and life by actively participating in it.

20. Adopt an attitude of gratitude.

Perhaps one of the greatest causes of discontent is not the situation, but your attitude about it. Instead of thinking about everything you don’t have, focus on what you do have and be grateful for it. When you feel grateful for everything you have been blessed with in life, you will naturally have more to be thankful for.

21. Start a journal.

Many people neglect their own feelings, either burying them or lashing out at others because of their own pain. If you have a lot of pent up anger, frustration, or sadness, journal about it. This will allow you to release any feelings you might have and start over fresh each day.

Join the discussion: How have you released self-neglect in your own experience to move into a better life? Hit us up on Facebook to share your thoughts.

8 Life Changing Promises That Will Make Tomorrow Better Than Today

Life presents difficult situations, sometimes more often than we’d all like it to.  Amidst everything that life demands from us, we often forget about the little differences we can make each day to add happiness and joy to our lives. Understandably, many people struggle to improve their lives, even in small ways, so they can make each day better than the last.

“You have to remember that the hard days are what make you stronger. The bad days make you realize what a good day is. If you never had any bad days, you would never have that sense of accomplishment!” – Aly Raisman

When you begin to make yourself these promises and commit to practicing them every single day, you will consistently create a better tomorrow, a better day after that, and an even better day after that… continuously.

8 Life-Changing Promises That Will Make Tomorrow Better Than Today:

1. “I will give someone a compliment.”

One of the simplest ways to improve your daily life is to make others feel better about themselves. Compliments usually bring a smile to a person’s face, and also give him or her a huge confidence boost.

A lot of times, people are underappreciated in their jobs or in their personal lives, and really don’t hear too often just how awesome they are. So, make it a point to give recognition to someone each day, whether they wash your car, deliver your package, or make your sandwich at the local deli. All of these jobs might seem menial, but these people work hard every day to please customers and make an income.

Your kind words could completely turn their day around, and you will add meaning to your own life knowing you made a difference in someone’s day.

2. “I will create more room for positive self-talk.”

Many people let their thoughts take control of them, and their minds run wild with incessant chatter, and often very cruel and undercutting thoughts about themselves. However, you don’t have to give in to these thoughts.

If someone else talked to you the way you often talk to yourself, would you still want to be their friend?

The first step to getting rid of negative self-talk to make room for more positive self-talk is realizing that it exists in the first place. Once you recognize how much your mind torments and bullies you, you can become aware of these thoughts and tune in to more positive thoughts instead. For example, your mind might tell you: “You can’t do this; it’s impossible, you aren’t good enough, you don’t know what you’re doing, and no one else believes in you.”

You can replace those nasty, disempowering words with these thoughts: “I CAN do this – nothing is impossible, I am already enough, and I have all the abilities and strength I need to succeed in life. I believe in myself.”

By disengaging from destructive habits such as negative self-talk, your days ahead will drastically improve, and you will probably find yourself with a lot more energy as well!

3. “I will do something different each day.”

This doesn’t require huge changes, like moving to some tropical island or changing careers. You can shake up your daily routine easily by making something different to bring with you for lunch at work, taking a new exercise class at the gym, or maybe volunteering at a homeless shelter.

These changes might seem trivial, but over time can make huge improvements in your life, and even freshen up your schedule!!

4. “I will work toward my goals every single day.”

Many people put their goals on the back burner because life tends to get in the way. However, dreams have a way of nagging at us until we fulfill them, and you can actually take small steps each day toward accomplishing them.

Let’s say you want to save up $15,000 for global travel next year. This is a clear goal, and it can be easily attainable. You could accomplish this by cooking more meals at home instead of eating out all the time, cut back on shopping, or opt for a cheaper cell phone plan.

When you actively work toward your goals each day, you build a habitat for your dreams to come to life and thrive, which will help launch you in the direction you want to go.

5. “I will become my own best friend.”

In many circumstances, people often look out for others more than they look out for themselves. You should have your own back just as much as your friends and family do, and also take time to learn about yourself.

Best friends know everything about each other, which means you need to know yourself from the inside out. Best friends also take care of each other and bolster one another’s confidence. You can learn to take care of yourself by keeping a healthy diet, getting enough sleep, exercising, practicing self-love, and honoring your Highest Self, just to name a few things.

When you learn to love yourself and become your own best friend, you will increase your self-awareness and find out more about what makes you truly happy.

6. “I will surround myself with positive energy.”

All too often, many people choose to keep the company of energy vampires, or people that like to drain others of energy in order to increase their own. However, you deserve to have uplifting, happy, driven friends that want the best for you and enjoy seeing you succeed.

Many people believe that you become who you hang out with, and I agree with that. If you hang around people enough, you absorb their energy and carry it around with you. So, make it a point to distance yourself from those that don’t add value to your life, and put more effort into surrounding yourself with people that encourage you and make you happy.

7. “I will find peace within myself.”

It’s easy to let the chaos of life invade your personal bubble and affect your energy levels. However, you don’t have to give in to the turbulence of the reality around you.

Whenever you feel stressed or overwhelmed, simply look to yourself for comfort and stability, and remind yourself that you have all you need within.

Even if you’re at work or in some other demanding environment, remember to breathe deeply and tune everything out for a few moments. Protect your sacred space and give yourself permission to feel peace. If you commit to finding harmony no matter the situation, you will find that life becomes a lot more enjoyable, even in the more challenging moments.

bonus tip positive affirmations

8. “I will create my own happiness in life.”

Just like peace, happiness comes from within as well. Happiness is not a destination, it’s the path. So, next time you feel unhappy, just remember that you get to choose your reality every single day. You can literally choose whatever you want to experience in life, and make that reality yours! You don’t have to live a mundane, mediocre existence if that doesn’t resonate with you. Each day, be brave enough to follow your heart and own your life, not let it own you.

Life is much like a car – there are many parts to it that constantly need maintenance and attention in order to run properly. When you devote your time to transforming aspects of your life and working on them until they run smoothly, you can take ownership of your happiness and fall in love with your life!

7 Negative Behaviors You Need to Ignore

Nearly every religion tells us that our beliefs determine our behaviors. Even ancient people relied on guidebooks to know that one’s life is a reflection of how they think. Nowadays, most of us would concur with the passage above. In fact, nearly every religion has a similar passage, demonstrating the uniformity around this belief.

“Be careful how you think; your life is shaped by your thoughts.” – Proverbs 4:23

How our thought process is developed is a truly complex topic. It can be simply stated that the process develops in accordance with a number of internal and external factors. As such, we develop various behaviors both positive and negative. People that go through difficult situations in life have their thought processes impacted. In turn, this impacts a person’s behavior.

It is important to differentiate the behavior from the person.

We believe that a person is greater than the sum of his or her parts. We also believe that pain is often expressed in the form of negative behavior. Further, it is important to understand that ignoring the entire person is not the answer. Instead, develop your inner strength by ignoring the behavior while doing something positive for the person – prayer, a smile, positive energy, etc.

Here are 7 negative behaviors of people that you should ignore, and how you can help them…

negative-behavior-people

1. Drama

Human beings have a flair for the dramatic. We have a flair for the dramatic because drama is everywhere around us – TV, magazines, movies, news, radio, the internet…no matter the outlet, drama is likely to be present.

This overwhelming presence of drama being depicted has resulted in people becoming literally addicted to the behavior. This dramatic behavior appears in a number of different ways in several different places. You probably encounter one of the following:

  • Co-workers who play the blame game
  • A friend that loves to gossip
  • The boss that demeans employees
  • Or, even the spouse or significant other that feels argument is a “healthy expression.”

Regardless of the source or severity, dramatic behavior is overwhelmingly negative. Instead of buying into this behavior when it’s directed towards you, conduct yourself with confidence and composure. The stronger the behavior, the more relaxed and positive you should be in response.

Be an example by communicating and expressing yourself peacefully. Don’t allow drama to impact the person you know that you are negatively.

2. Naysaying

Only one person knows your capabilities and what you can achieve – you. Any behavior directed towards you that aims to demean these capabilities and what you intend to achieve should be resisted to the utmost.

Denying or opposing your ambition through naysaying behavior should be considered unacceptable. Never allow the negative and unsubstantiated claims of others to limit how you think about and approach your ambitions, goals, and dreams.

This behavior manifests itself in other people’s opinions, presumptions, and other shunning words and actions about something you’re trying to accomplish. Simply put, never buy into this behavior.

Maybe you’ve been in this type of situation. It is important to look beyond this behavior and act confidently and positively in spite of it. Not only will you notice that your confidence is strengthened, but the guilty party will likely change their behavior as well.

3. Manipulation

Some people are always on the lookout for others that they can use to advance their agenda, whatever that may be, through whatever means possible. This is manipulative behavior in a nutshell.

People that attempt to manipulate often do so by playing on other people’s emotions. They generally don’t trust the logical capabilities of others and seek to “pull the wool over” their eyes. Truly a sad state, but this type of behavior exists.

There is no easy way to detect this behavior, but one way is to look at the person’s track record. Have you caught them in a lie? Do they have a generally negative attitude? Have they spread rumors or gossiped about someone? Do they display predominantly individualistic types of behaviors?

Generally, people that display manipulative behavior display these and other “red flags” that can potentially unveil their capability to manipulate. These individuals also have an egotistical streak, thinking that they are smarter and craftier than anyone else.

Be aware of manipulative behavior by remaining vigilant in your dealings with others. Remain positive and confident while sending positivity and encouragement to these types of individuals. This could be the difference in changing their perspective along with their behavior.

4. Stubbornness

What characterizes stubborn behavior?

  • Refusing to listen to others’ opinions
  • Being adamant that your ideas or desires are the most important
  • Refusing change

The truth is that we all display stubborn behavior at times. However, there are people that display this behavior at a magnitude that far exceeds the norm.

As with most other behavioral traits, stubbornness onsets through early negative experiences. Stubbornness may stem from a parent’s disposition, violations of trust, and other instabilities displayed throughout childhood.

Forget about the unfortunate circumstances that trigger the behavior. Stubbornness is difficult to deal with and comes in many forms. You may have a co-worker that refuses to listen, a parent that constantly judges, or others who refuse to give you the benefit of the doubt.

The solution is to be you around these individuals while directing positivity (in any form) towards them. Above all, don’t respond with any stubborn behavior of your own. Instead, show that you are a trustworthy, compassionate, understanding individual who appreciates the positive things about them.

5. Impatience

Impatience can be defined as (1) irritable behavior that results from delays or (2) a restless need for change and excitement. The display of impatient behavior is often tied into someone’s goals; specifically, anything that hinders or aggravates the person in active pursuit of these goals. These goals could range from getting ahead of you at the drive-thru to getting that promotion at work.

As with stubbornness, we all tend to be impatient at times. However, some individuals take impatience to the extreme. These individuals detest being held up at anytime, anywhere, for almost any reason.

Impatience is a trait that develops from early negative experiences, misunderstanding the nature of self and others, and a persistent sense of insecurity. Early negative experiences often happen during childhood. In many cases, parents barred the child from having a normal social experience resulting in a sense of “missing out”.

When dealing with an impatient person, it is important to understand how they “tick.” For example, these individuals prefer to be in control. When they are not in firm control, they become angry, annoyed and frustrated. The best way to deal with the behavior is to be polite but direct. Do not beat around the bush with impatient people; this will get you nowhere.

Direct positivity towards impatient people, but do so in an assertive way while standing up for yourself. Have you ever heard the term “firm but fair?” This certainly applies to dealing with the impatient.

 6. Annoyance

Annoyance is simply the state of mind when something (or someone) irritated or angered you. Being irritated or angered by someone also causes the annoyed person to be distracted, which only adds to the annoyance factor; effectively increasing the possibility of a heated exchange. In this way, annoying behavior is a double-edged sword.

Whether or not a certain behavior is annoying is often a matter of perspective. Some people will find a certain behavior annoying while others will not. Do you have one or more “pet peeves?” Well, most people do not have the same reactions when encountering these behaviors. Annoying behavior is very subjective, which makes sense considering the person has absolutely no idea that their behavior is annoying in most cases.

The best way to deal with any behavior that annoys you is to control your emotions. Take a deep breath, let it out slowly, and focus on breathing normally. Understand that the person is not directing the behavior at you.

You can also practice using one word to set in your mind until the desire to react passes. For example, relax your body, close your eyes and think of the word “calm.” Repeat this word while imagining calm flow through your body from head to toe.

At times, you may need to stand up for yourself. Of course, do so privately and politely, but be firm and direct. Show appreciation for the person, even before the individual agrees to change their behavior. Doing so will drastically increase the likelihood that the behavior will change – at least around you!

7. Self-criticism

Last, but certainly not least, is our own inner critic. Just as the above six behavioral characteristics of others does not necessarily define them, your biggest critic doesn’t necessarily define you.

What you consider flaws are actually marks of individuality. Many people considered the most beautiful, wealthiest, most privileged people on this planet are incredibly lonely and depressed. Why? Simple – they are always their worst critic despite of these “advantages.” Perfectionism is a myth; there is nothing perfect…and this certainly includes us.

While the previous seven behaviors may be difficult to contend with, they don’t hold a stick to self-criticism. It is crucial that you take care of yourself, ignore negative thoughts (“tabloids of the mind”), and accept yourself for who you are.

3 Powerful Techniques to Boost Your Self-Confidence

Several studies prove that people with high levels of self-confidence and self-esteem are happier overall and better able to meet the demands of challenging tasks at work and in their personal lives. Unfortunately, self-confidence isn’t an innate part of everyone. This is particularly true for sensitive people. These are individuals that can internalize criticism and past hurts so deeply that their self-image becomes deeply tarnished.

“Self-confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings.” – Samuel Johnson

Still, there is hope for anyone who struggles with self-confidence. Simple actions and mindfulness can make a big impact on your self-esteem. Even better, you can begin fostering a positive self-image with these three simple methods.

Use these three tips to boost your self-confidence

pop meme

1. Grow self-love with Mirror Work.

Many of us unknowingly engage in negative self-talk, cutting ourselves down with cruel words and criticisms that tear away at our confidence. Pioneered by best-selling author Louise Hay, Mirror Work helps counteract those unfair, negative words, replacing them with positive, uplifting language that can mend deep wounds and bolster your self-confidence.

Every time that you pass a mirror or see a reflection stop for a second. Look at your face and give yourself the gift of heartfelt confidence. Then, say a positive affirmation like “I am in control of my own happiness!” or “I bear witness to my success today!” Do this even just twice every day, and you’ll begin to quiet that negative self-talk, replacing it with the language of self-love.

2. Get Up and Move.

Finding an exercise activity that you enjoy and engaging in it regularly can help you dramatically increase your self-confidence. With each practice or session, you’ll notice improvements in your technique, endurance, and strength. Improving will help you begin to appreciate all that your body is capable of, fostering self-esteem that nothing can take away.

The key is to choose something that challenges you but is also inspiring. Hitting the gym and running are great options for fitness but don’t restrict yourself to these activities if they fill you with dread. Yoga, dance classes, tennis, cycling, skiing, golf, and other activities that get you off the sofa and moving are all possible options.

3. Seek Out Positive People.

There is a growing movement in education, known as “The Bucket Fillers.” Inspired by the children’s book by Carol McCloud, it encourages kids to be positive forces in the world and to commit acts of kindness instead of cruelty. The idea is that everyone is a bucket and that the actions of others can either take water out and steal their happiness or pour water in and fill the bucket, increasing happiness. In your own life, you can probably name a handful of people who are bucket fillers and many more who are always dipping their hands into your bucket and taking water away.

Seek out those people who are positive forces that build you up rather than diminishing your spirit while you may not be able to avoid the others entirely. The more time that you spend with positive people, the less impact those negative individuals will have on you.

pop meme

Final Thoughts About Growing Self-Confidence

You deserve to feel great about yourself every day. It does not matter what has clouded your vision and diminished your appreciation of yourself. Indeed, you can take positive steps to see yourself clearly again and appreciate the beautiful person that you truly are. So start incorporating these three techniques in your daily life. Each one will give you a strong foundation for building self-confidence. And that puts you on the path to changing your life for the better.

9 Reasons to Start your New Year’s Resolution Right Now

Have you begun to give thought to your New Year’s Resolution? If not, it is time.

According to the Journal of Clinical Psychology at the University of Scranton, these 5 resolutions are the most popular:

  1. Lose Weight
  2. Get Organized
  3. Spend Less, Save More
  4. Enjoy Life to the Fullest
  5. Stay Fit and Healthy

If you have any goals such as these in mind to put into action when the clock strikes 12 on January 1st, who’s to say you can’t start right now?

Many people wait until the new year to begin new projects or set new goals because a new calendar year implies starting over with a clean slate. At dinner on New Year’s Eve, friends and families gather all over the world and share their favorite moments from the year before, making a resolution for the next year and pledging to commit to them. Most people look at the new year as a chance at a whole new life, and it is – but why can’t your new life start now? It can, and there are plenty of reasons why starting your new year’s resolutions today is actually more beneficial in the long run.

9 Reasons to Start Your New Year’s Resolution Right Now:

1 – Every Day You Wake Up is a Chance to Start Over

Why wait until a certain date to transform your life? You can set goals and chase dreams every day when you get out of bed; you don’t need a calendar to tell you when you can make resolutions. Most people wait until the new year to make changes in their lives because it gives them an excuse to procrastinate and even give up their goals altogether. Also, when you set a future date to start something, you invalidate the present moment.

Right now is as good a time as any to start something new and exciting, and you are more than capable of transforming your life today!

2 – You Can Accomplish a Lot Between Now and the New Year

In a sense, if you postpone your goals to a later date, you will lose valuable time that you could spend to manifest your dreams. Think of how much you can get done between now and the new year. For example, imagine that you want to adopt a healthier lifestyle that includes more fruits and vegetables and a regular exercise routine. You could start feeling more vibrant and having more energy now instead of waiting until the new year, and you will feel accomplished knowing you beat everyone else to the punch and started your New Year’s resolutions early!

“Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today.” – Benjamin Franklin

3 – Time is Just an Illusion Anyway

hypnosis

Humans invented the idea of time as a way to measure events and order them from past to present. Even though it makes us more aware of deadlines and gives us a way to track important life events, the only real-time is the “Now.” Without getting too technical, the past, present, and future all exist simultaneously, converging and forming a continuous flow of energy. You can create whatever reality you want to see right at this moment, and that will set the stage for every subsequent moment you experience. While the idea of time can be comforting, you don’t need to set goals for a certain date in order to achieve them. You can simply have an action plan and pursue your goals in each moment without the added pressure of time.

4 – The “Right Time” is Any Time

A lot of people spend a large portion of their lives waiting for a sign to tell them it’s the right time to pursue a goal, or wait until they feel ready. But, why can’t right now be the right time? If you wait until tomorrow, you might still think you’re not ready to wake your dreams into reality. Here’s a secret: you are ready if you just believe it. Your mind creates your reality, so make sure your thoughts stay positive!

You can achieve anything you want at any time if you simply have faith in yourself and your abilities. You were born ready. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be here on this planet right now. We all have a divine purpose, and we were put on this Earth to execute that purpose in only the way we know how.

5 – You Will Stay More Organized

When we put off goals or errands, we invite chaos and disorganization into our lives. For example, if you have five important projects that you want to finish by a certain date, but you put them off until the last minute, you will have to complete all of them in a shorter timeframe. This puts a lot of unnecessary stress on you as you scramble to get everything is done, which means your workspace will likely reflect your inner state of being. Then, important papers might get lost, you could accidentally delete files off your computer, or you might totally forget about a project altogether.

To prevent this from happening, just start your projects or goals ahead of time. Then, you will have more time to work on your goals and can keep your workspace and your brain more organized.

6 – You Can Eliminate Added Stress

When people make their new year’s resolution, they hold themselves to very high standards to accomplish their goals. Making a resolution has become a trademark of the holiday, and many feel that the New Year is incomplete without making declarations to change their lives in the upcoming year. However, when you announce your goals to your friends or family at a party or dinner, you might feel obligated to follow through with your plans to avoid embarrassment or shame in the future.

Simply put, people hype up their new year’s resolution and often feel very disappointed and stressed when they don’t follow through with them. By starting on them now, you will be more likely to commit to them long-term if they aren’t attached to traditions or expectations from others.

7 – There’s Less Pressure

When the new year rolls around and people start making the resolution to live life to the fullest, lose fifty pounds, get a new job, or travel the world, they put a lot of pressure on themselves. If you just commit to living better each day and don’t use a holiday as a starting point to transform your life and start anew, you can eliminate that added pressure. You can make goal-setting and living the life you want a daily habit rather than a highly overrated holiday activity.

8 – You’re Likely to Set More Realistic Goals

Since a lot of hype surrounds your New Year’s resolution, many people set grandiose goals that they usually never follow through with. Also, a lot of people set too many goals and don’t take into account the time they have to work on them. If you have more time to think about your plans and don’t just blurt out a resolution that sounds impressive, you will likely set more realistic goals for your lifestyle.

9 – There’s a Better Chance You’ll Stick to them Long-term

Since only 23 percent of people who set a New Year’s resolution actually follow through with them, according to a survey by FranklinCovey, you will have a higher chance of sticking to your guns if you set goals on your own terms. When you treat each day as a gift, a chance for a new beginning instead of waiting for that magical first day of the year, you will have more control of your life and realize that you create your future every single day.

Skip to content