The founder of positive psychology, Martin Seligman, proposes that around 60 percent of your happiness is determined by your genetics and environment while the remaining 40 percent is up to you. Considering that you also have some control over your environment, you have a big say in whether or not you lead a happy life.

Your habits are something within your control and play a large part in determining whether or not you experience happiness. An important aspect of controlling your habits is being mindful as to which ones are taking happiness away and replacing it with something less pleasant.

“Our happiness depends on the habit of mind we cultivate. So practice happy thinking every day. Cultivate the merry heart, develop the happiness habit, and life will become a continual feast.” ­–Norman Vincent Peale

Here are 7 habits that can steal your happiness away from you (if you let them)

1. Comparing yourself to others

President Theodore Roosevelt once said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.”

Oh, how true, and yet unfortunate this is. Whether it’s someone else’s physical appearance, job title, income level, house size or something else, comparing yourself to someone else is a bad habit that brings a heavy dose of unhappiness.

As with many other human emotions, our tendency to compare ourselves to others is as natural as it is damaging. It’s also something that you can learn to be mindful of and defend against. One great way of doing this is to become mindfully aware of your own successes and remind yourself of them often throughout the day.

2. Working a joyless job

As Americans, we are some of the most overworked people in the world. We also have the dubious honor of being the unhappiest with our jobs. Gallup conducted a study in which 70% of 150,000 polled were either “disengaged” or “actively disengaged” at work.

Chances are, you have been taught that work is not supposed to be fun. Well, shouldn’t it at least be engaging? It should be… if you are trying to live a happy life anyways. Working a joyless job for no other reason than a paycheck will almost certainly result in discontent and unhappiness.

If you are in this situation (and many are), don’t consider it acceptable. Find work that is personally fulfilling.

3. Allowing worry to control you

“Worry is like a rocking chair; it gives you something to do but never gets you anywhere.” This is a great quote that we all should commit to memory. Going one step further, worry not only gets you nowhere, it can also extinguish the flame of your ambitions.

Worry is often a by-product of holding onto something that has caused you hurt and disappointment in the past. Do yourself a favor and let it go. There is nothing that can be done about it now. You have a present to be experienced, not a past to be relived.

Strip away all of the worry, anxiety, and uncertainty about your life. It’s pointless and often harmful. Instead, focus on your dreams and allow life to unfold as it may…this is where you’ll discover true happiness.

4. Thinking that pursing pleasures brings happiness

The pursuit of pleasure cannot provide you with enduring fulfillment – this includes material possessions.

In a TED talk conducted by Dr. Martin Seligman, he discusses three different kinds of happy lives: a pleasant life, in which you pursue as many pleasures as you can; a life of engagement, in which your find a life in your work, love, parenting and leisure and a meaningful life, which “consists of knowing what your highest strengths are, and using them in the service of something larger than your are.”

Throughout his research, Dr. Seligman has concluded that pursuing pleasure alone will not provide any sort of lasting fulfillment. Instead, a person must also pursue a life of engagement and meaning. Short-lived pleasures, if constantly pursued, will often lead to emotional letdowns and feelings of emptiness.

5. Taking your unwelcome thoughts too seriously

Possessing more brainpower than the world’s most advanced supercomputer is both a blessing and a curse. Your advanced thought processes are great for productivity, complex problem solving and meeting the demands of life. On the other hand, human beings have the innate tendency to overthink things, which can lead to negative thoughts that constantly replay themselves.

Remember this: you are not the sum of all your thoughts. Negative thoughts are tabloid material for your mind – unreliable and misleading. This includes thinking you are not good enough, smart enough, successful enough…you are exactly the person you were meant to be and you can do great things. Don’t read the tabloids.

 6. Neglecting your passions

When you neglect your passions, you neglect one of life’s greatest gifts: doing what you love. Neglecting the things you love doing can be attributed to the constant stressors placed on your life: work, money, bills, and other things that come with living in an “always on” society.

If you can’t for some reason do what you love for a living, try to at least make it a part of your life. Follow your heart, your intuition, and your purpose. You don’t need to make money to pursue your passions in life; you just need to make the effort. Your happiness and passion is something that money can never replace.

7. Putting things off

Having to do something that you aren’t fond of instead of doing something enjoyable can be mentally taxing. Ironically, tacking these boring tasks can actually boost your happiness (please, keep reading).

Don’t just take our word for it – in a survey done by the Procrastination Research Group (there is such a group, by the way) 94 percent of the 10,000 respondents reported that procrastination has negative effects on their happiness, with 19 percent saying that the effect is extremely negative. The reason for this is mostly due to regret. In the long-term, you regret what you don’t do or have put off.

To kick the procrastination habit while boosting your happiness, practice temptation control. For example, if losing weight is a major area of procrastination, go to the grocery store with a detailed list of what to get. If you find yourself checking your e-mail instead of writing your paper, disable the notifications for incoming mail.

If you’re a chronic procrastinator, check out this site created by Piers Steel, author of “The Procrastination Equation”: www.procratinus.com

The American Psychological Association (APA) defines anxiety as “an emotion characterized by feelings of tension, worried thoughts and physical changes like increased blood pressure.”

Pretty much all of us can resonate with having had a bout of anxiety… maybe even within the last 24 hours.

Anxiety is incredibly common; especially in this crazy, tuned-in (but not really), smartphone carrying, an ultra-competitive society that we find ourselves in. To be perfectly clear, having occasional anxiety is completely normal. All of us get overwhelmed from time to time, with the demands and stressors of life an almost daily occurrence.

Here are 7 effective, practical ways to deal with anxiety in your life:

“People tend to dwell more on negative things than on good things. So the mind becomes obsessed with negative things, with judgments, guilt and anxiety produced by thoughts about the future and so on.” – Eckhart Tolle, author of “The Power of Now”

1. Remember… anxiety is impulsive.

Sometimes our brain works in mysterious ways. Actually, make that most of the time. Impulsivity is something that we are all subject to from time to time…and it’s automatic.

Our brains have a “fight or flight” mechanism, attributed to evolutionary changes in the brain responsible for controlling how the body functions in an emergency. Here is a brilliant analogy that was found when scouring the web…

While drinking your second cup of coffee at work, you hear your boss say “Could I see you in my office?” Upon hearing these words, the hypothalamus of your brain messages your adrenal glands and within seconds your body is summoning all of the same powers that your cavemen ancestors needed when encountering a wild animal.

As you enter the bosses’ office, you are now experiencing a full-fledged fight or flight response. You know that you can’t flee, so instead, all that energy is just building up inside until you feel like you’re ready to explode. Then, your boss looks your straight in the eye…”We’re considering you for a promotion.”

2. Remind yourself that anxious feelings are temporary.

As with nearly everything else, anxiety comes and goes. The reason for this is simple: our body, mind, and life experiences are constantly changing. As such, our brains must constantly change and adapt.

Uncertainty is without a doubt the most powerful and common precursor of anxiety. When we feel out of control in any way, we are almost always going to experience an anxious response.  When you’re feeling overwhelmed or out of control, remember that these feelings are temporary.  “This too shall pass…”

And then? Well, it begins to go away…

 3. Get active.

Exercise is probably the best antidote to anxiety. It doesn’t matter what kind of exercise– bike, hike, swim, run, shoot hoops – do whatever as long as the heart is pumping as a good rate. Simply put: exercise boosts our mood. Interestingly, exercise of any form has been shown to be as effective (if not more so) than antidepressants.  Not only does exercise boost your mood, but the exposure to fresh clean air and sunshine can also quickly brighten your mood.

In a book called “The Depression Cure”, clinical psychologist states: “Exercise changes the brain. It increases the activity level of important brain chemicals such as dopamine and serotonin…(it) also increases the brain’s production of a key growth hormone that normally plummets in depression…some parts of the brain start to shrink over time, and learning and memory are impaired…exercise reduces this trend, protecting the brain in a way nothing else can.”

4. Treat yourself well.

When we are not feeling well, our innate response is to rest; maybe even make ourselves a hot cup of tea and try to get some sleep. This response is almost automatic…we’ve been “trained” to do this when we don’t feel well.

When we feel anxious, we don’t feel well. The only difference is that we need to be more proactive about how we treat ourselves because we have more control over how we respond, unlike most physical illness.

So, be proactive by meditating, reading something inspiring, getting some rest, getting outdoors…whatever brings feelings of joy and peace, do it. Be your own advocate.

 5. Focus on your breath.

Depending on where and when our anxious feelings occur, we may be limited in how they’re dealt with. If in a cubicle at work or in a crowded public area, bringing attention to your breath is a great way to help ease anxiety.

Bring focus to the breath for a few moments – put one hand on the abdominal area and another on the chest while trying to make the abdominal area move more. The reason: when we are anxious we have a tendency to breathe in a more shallow fashion (with more chest movement).

Make a conscious effort to fill up the abdominal/diaphragm/belly area with deep, mindful inhalations. Then slowly exhale while feeling the anxiety fleeing.  Take a deep breath in for 4 seconds, and slowly exhale over an 8-second count.  Or focus only on your breath for 60 seconds while attempting to think of nothing else.

Proper oxygen sent to the brain can immediately bring a sense of reason back into your mind, allowing your anxiety to diminish.

6. Understand the human brain.

This is another way of reminding us that we are not our brains. This fact cannot be reiterated enough, yet it is often overlooked, or unknown by many.

Neuroscientists, psychologists, and psychiatrists all say the same thing… we have the emotional, primitive parts of our brain (the ‘amygdala’) that is responsible for the generation and processing of primal emotions (fear, worry), and the logical parts – the frontal lobes and cortex which are educated, sophisticated, and reasoning.

In layman’s terms – we have both the drama queen from the local community theatre and the distinguished, intellectual Harvard professor telling us what to do.

7. Distract yourself.

We may have the most complex, advanced brains in the animal kingdom but that doesn’t mean that we aren’t susceptible to a nice, juicy distraction every now and then.

When anxiety is rampant, we want to get out of our own heads as much as possible. It really doesn’t matter how it’s done – a movie, game, book, magazine, puzzle, etc. – as long as it gets the mind to focus onto something else.

How have you overcome anxiety?  Add your valuable resources into the discussion below…

“I never did a day’s work in my life. It was all fun.” – Thomas Edison

The greatest inventor of all time certainly knew how to keep things in perspective, didn’t he? While you may not have the inventive capability of Mr. Edison, you can certainly make a conscious effort to have fun and enjoy your life.

Most of us live a busy life and you are probably no different. Between family, work, and sleep, you may have a maximum eight hours of “free time,” the majority of which is probably used up in general, everyday tasks.

Relaxation and having some fun is not a luxury, it’s a necessity. Your mind and body need rejuvenation for you to be both healthy and productive. We call this stress release.

Here are 7 ways to help create some fun in your busy life.

 1. Leave work at work

This is a big one because when you take your work home your time is no longer your time. The stressors of the day continue when you should be enjoying something else– having dinner with family, catching up with your kids, having some quiet time, or whatever else you enjoy.

In the article “4 Ways to Leave Work at Work,” Psychology Today’s Margarita Tartakovsky provides some recommendations for those having trouble with leaving work at work. Among them, she recommends consciously releasing your nagging thoughts through a short, meditative practice.

To release any thoughts left over from work, close your eyes for one minute and breathe mindfully. Notice any negative thoughts as they arise and let them go with each exhale. Continue to focus on your breath and conclude the practice by slowly opening your eyes and gradually moving your body.

2. Be in the present moment.

Being present is applicable to nearly every area of our life and this includes your fun time.

It is not necessary to multitask and “keep busy” all of the time. Doing so simply adds to your stress and makes enjoying yourself more difficult. Forget catching up on emails, sending text messages, or checking the news when you’re doing something on your own time.

Instead, take the time to be present and enjoy whatever it is that you are doing. You’ll realize two things: whatever it is you’re doing is more enjoyable and there is significantly less stress in your mind and body.

3. Schedule time for R&R.

Just as your schedule conference calls and deadlines, schedule some time for fun.

A new movie coming out that want to see? Schedule it. Need some fun time alone with one of your kids? Schedule it. Just as importantly, stick with your fun schedule and treat it as you would a meeting with your boss. If it’s important to you, it’s important enough.

4. Give yourself some time each morning.

It’s true that how you approach the morning sets the tone for the entire day. Set aside 15 to 30 minutes for something that helps you transition into your day – just make sure that whatever you do is not work-related.

For this morning routine, do something enjoyable that would really provide a boost. This could be: reading something inspirational, meditation, exercise, a cup of coffee or tea with the morning paper… just do something that brings you joy. You’ll find your mood is more pleasant and productive as you start tackling the items on your “to-do” list.

5. Make fun time non-negotiable while realizing its importance.

As you schedule a time for some fun, certain things may come up that demand your attention. The simple rule that you should stick with is: if whatever comes up is not urgent, it can wait. Remember, this time is a necessity for your overall wellbeing. Your mental and physical health is not something that you should take lightly or allow someone else to either.

According to Scientific American, an overwhelming number of studies have shown that downtime increases concentration, expands attention, encourages creativity, and strengthens memory. Within the study, performing a relaxing, fun activity for just 10 minutes can increase your brain capacity and reduce physical stress.

Pretty convincing…and all the more reason to stick with this scheduled time.

6. Enjoy life’s simple pleasures.

“It’s the simple things in life.” How many times have you heard this? It is and will forever remain a true statement.

The problem is that we are overstimulated and inundated with information from everywhere… our brains are on overdrive for much of the workday… in short – our busy lives can make it difficult to realize and enjoy the simple things in life.

However, taking even a minute to mindfully appreciate simple pleasures in your life can make an amazing difference. More exciting, these simple pleasures can be found everywhere and at nearly anytime.

Here are some ideas – your morning cup of coffee, breakfast with your kids, listening to music, a good meal, the sunset, a quiet place in the park, a day in the snow or the sunshine, a brief chat with someone new…many, many things can be considered a simple pleasure and enjoyed.

7. Put one or more ideas on this list into practice right now.

Enjoying your life is so important, yet we have a tendency to treat it like enjoyment is a luxury – it’s not.

Your time is a precious thing that once gone can never be taken back. Take this time when you’d normally be reading the 7^th item on some list to really contemplate how important it is to enjoy yourself while making a commitment to put one or more of these suggestions into practice.

Your turn: Do you have a suggestion for how to fit fun into your busy life? Please share with us!

“There is nothing so strong or safe in an emergency of life as the simple truth.” – Charles Dickens

The often hectic nature of your life can frequently result in forgetfulness. From the moment you wake, you’re already thinking about what you need to do, where you need to be, and how to go about accomplishing the things that demand your attention. Often forgotten in this daily routine are simple realities and truths of life that we all need to remember.

Some truths of your existence can indeed be complex – your purpose, relationships, psychology… but there are also simple, universal truths that you can and should recognize. The recognition and application of these simple truths will make your life flow more easily

Here are 7 easily forgotten simple truths that can help you in your daily life.

Truth #1 – Accepting your flaws is much easier than fighting them.

Everyone has things about themselves that they wish they could change – intellect, looks, health, and a myriad of other attributes. This is especially true when it comes to how we appear, physically and otherwise, to other people.

The important thing to remember here is that the people who truly love you do so with full acceptance if not knowledge of, your flaws. Of course, in recognizing your “flaws” you take one step closer to loving yourself – the most important kind of love.

Truth #2 – Attempting to fight things beyond your control can be fruitless (and even harmful).

Things “beyond your control” include any and all situations and events that happen without your influence. There can be countless other scenarios that are without a doubt tough situations, but ones in which your impact is limited or even null.  The importance of recognizing and accepting things beyond your control is paramount. Many people go their entire lives attempting to control the uncontrollable. The result is excessive worry, stress, and impairment in the quality of life. Sometimes, this undue stress can manifest itself into physical symptoms if not controlled.

When a tough situation happens in your life, think of it as an opportunity to build upon your character and strength. Remember, “This too shall pass,” and you’ll be a better, stronger individual because of it.

Truth #3 – Emotional decisions are often bad ones.

Allowing temporary emotions, however strong they may be, to displace your logic and intellect is never a good practice. When you make an emotional decision, you are reactive and not proactive. These reactions occur with a very small amount of conscious thought and the presence of too many momentary feelings that will flee once you take yourself out of the situation.

A good rule of thumb is to allow yourself to feel whatever the emotion may be, take a few deep breaths, isolate yourself from the situation if possible, and give yourself a moment to think. Remember this quick practice whenever an impulse arises that may result in regret later.

Truth #4 – Every mistake is a teachable moment.

No matter how diligent, mindful, responsible, or disciplined you are you will make mistakes. Human beings are fallible, and although you are probably a good person, mistakes happen. It’s a part of life.

The beautiful thing is that every mistake that you make teaches you something new and takes you one step closer to your destination. Every time you make a mistake, it builds on that inner strength that already resides in your being.

Results of your mistakes always end up in one of two ways – you either succeed or you learn something valuable. Not a bad deal at all. Repeating the same mistake over and over without eventually learning from it is the only true error.

Truth #5 – Life is too short not to appreciate it.

You are truly a fortunate creature – given an authentically unique existence that nobody else will ever experience. Regardless of the circumstances facing you, there are small things in your life to be grateful for. Life always has its beautiful moments, even if they go unrecognized some of the time.

The best advice here is to try and be mindful and present in every situation. For example, if you are eating dinner with your family, only eat dinner with your family. Turn the TV off, put away the smartphone, and just appreciate your loved ones while enjoying a meal. Whatever the situation is, just be present.

Truth #6 – You have gifts that no one else does.

Our society is a hyper-competitive one. It’s all about the next deal, money, promotions, a bigger house, a nicer car, more education, more overtime… it may feel you are chasing a train on a never-ending track. The result of this mentality being ingrained into your being is that you end up feeling inadequate or shortchanged in some way.

But remember – you are different. You have different strengths and intricate abilities that truly no one else has. So when you find yourself playing a circus game with Life as the evil carnie, take a few moments to remember (even write down) your truly unique abilities and be grateful for them.

Truth #7 – Love is the most precious part of our existence.

The most important, simple truth of them all and one that can be easily taken for granted. At the end of your journey, what is going to matter the most to you? The response is simple for the vast majority of us – the time we spent with the ones we love.  All of the possessions in the world won’t hold a stick to the moments you spent (being present!) with the people who love you unconditionally. In the end, truly nothing else matters.

Do something your future self will thank you for and take some time each day to remember #7. Then, be with your loved ones as if nothing else in the world exists …for as long as you can.

YOUR TURN:  What simple truths have you held with you in life that make it flow more easily?  Share in the discussion below!

Without question, happy people stand out among us. Regardless of what they are doing at the moment, happy people always seem to be positive, energetic, and joyful. Happy people live, act, and speak much differently than their less positive counterparts.

But it’s not just what the happy people do that sets them apart. It’s what they rarely do that truly makes them unique (we say “rarely” here because we can’t be perfect but we CAN strive toward excellence daily).  Simply put – the self-control and self-awareness that positive and happy people display is truly something to behold…they make it look so easy.  So what do happy people avoid?

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” – Gandhi

Here are 7 things happy people rarely do:

1. Happy people rarely… seek approval or validation from others.

Happy people are content to be themselves… in fact, they love themselves unashamedly and unabashedly. This self-love manifests itself in approval and validation – making it unnecessary to seek either from externalities – namely, people.

Truth be told, many of us place way too much emphasis on what others think about us; so much emphasis, that seeking approval or validation from others becomes an addiction. But here’s the bottom line: we can only be the best people we can be, not everyone is going to view us in a positive light, and being you, while showing true character, is the fastest way to earning respect.

2. Happy people rarely…depend on other people, places, or things for happiness.

Speaking of externalities… happy people don’t depend on people or material possessions for their own happiness. In making a conscious decision to remove possessions, money, people, and circumstances out of the equation, happiness is derived and experienced from simply being and loving yourself.

Concisely stated – happiness is a mindset. A mindset is something that is learned, acquired, and put into practice. Our mindset has absolutely nothing to do with external influences…it can only be influenced if we let it.

3. Happy people rarely… play the victim. Rather, they play the victor.

Happy people and the victim mentality do not jive. The reason is because the happy among us have a mindset of victory and fortitude. In other words, happy people depend on the power they know they have to come out victorious. This is not to say that they won’t experience bumps and bruises, disappointments and failures along the way… they just don’t let it get the best of them.

Here’s a nice, easy formula to remember: inner happiness = inner strength. Happy people are strong mentally; winning the battle against whatever internal or external opposition that happens to confront them.

4. Happy people rarely… live in the past, nor worry about the future.

Right now, there are people all around us with innately unique gifts to offer the world and make it a better place… truly gifted people that have so much to give. But they won’t. They won’t because of mistakes made in their past and can’t let them go for whatever reason. This is a tragic reality of the world we live in: some people will never realize their rightful future because they can’t see anything beyond their past.

To be truly happy and realize our potential, we must not live in the past nor worry much about the future. The past is just that…an old event – an event that has no real significance to the true character inside.

5. Happy people rarely…hold onto grudges.

In holding onto the “past,” grudges are another unfortunate result of doing so. These grudges can be within us or with others. The disappointment that results by making a decision that you regret, or disappointment from someone having wronged you is normal. The problem is when we hold onto these grudges for too long.

The answer lies in forgiveness – of ourselves and of others. We cannot turn back the clock to make different decisions, nor can we alter the motives of people who have wronged us. The most powerful thing that we can do recognize the error or affront, accept it, grow and learn from it, and let it go by forgiving yourself or someone else.

6. Happy people rarely… live dishonestly.

To live an honest life takes an incredible amount of courage, fortitude, and character. Why? Because our world has become embraced an altered reality – one in which lying is simply something that “everyone does.”

Regardless of what others may think, dishonesty is toxic because it completely skews our understanding of what is real, good, and normal. When we live in a society that accepts lying as the norm, we are susceptible to its influence. As happy people, we must remember that truth is natural, truth is real (by definition, too!), and truth is good in all situations.

 7. Happy people rarely…accept negative environments.

Our environment has a significant effect on our mindset. We must not allow our environments to disturb our right to inner happiness and peace.

Toxic people and toxic environments just exude negativity. Try walking into a place where everyone there hates their job – the bad aura and atmosphere quickly resonate. The same thing goes for people and places that continuously embrace a negative mindset.

By remaining positive and respectful with all people, you may indeed be helping change their outlook on life and bring some hope. Remain mindful that everyone has a story, and some people may be experiencing some hardship that you are unaware of. Also, remain mindful that you have a right to be positive and happy…when someone or somewhere begins to negatively impact this, you have the right to walk away if you so choose.

What do you try not to do to remain happy in your own life?