5 Ways to Effectively Deal With Criticism

Not everyone will understand your journey. That’s okay. It’s not their journey. It’s yours. Embrace your freedom. Your true purpose is not to be here to please others. Life is about embracing who you are and following where your passions and desires lead!

If you live to serve others to avoid judgment and criticism – doing what makes them happy –  you will become very unhappy. That unhappiness will lead to depression. It’s a sign that you are putting off what your soul yearns for you to do. You limit your full potential and disconnect yourself from your true self. Advice is great, but most people (even close loved ones) don’t understand your journey. So, the only person who truly knows what is best for you is… well… you!

Anyway, in most cases, others opinions and criticisms are not about you, it’s about them.  It’s coming from their limited perspective, worries, and fears. Instead of taking their judgment personal or getting into an argument, there are many positive action steps you can take to move forward.

Here Are Our Top 5 Ways to Effectively Deal with Criticism:

1. Take a deep breath (or a few).

The best thing to do is to not react right away. Take a deep breath, or a few, if you need. There’s actually a very good reason for this. When we feel criticized, we sometimes go into a fight or flight mode. Taking a deep breath allows oxygen to continue, it lowers our heart rate, and it allows for our response to be more calm and reasonable.

If you immediately react and feel threatened you are taking the defense. This brings unneeded stress to your body. Remind yourself that they are not you, they have not walked a day in your shoes and you are doing just fine.

What is the other person’s true intention? If there’s a bit of truth to what they are saying, consider it later when you have a clear mind. A perfect response would be, “Thanks. Let me take some time to think about that.”

If the criticism is a borderline insult, don’t reply at all. Take a few deep breaths and just leave the conversation. You never want to react harshly and regret it later.

2. Don’t take it personal.

In most cases, criticism has very little to do with you and more to do with the person and their perspective of the world. If someone offends you, it’s usually because they feel that way about themselves or their abilities.

They are advising you based on how they feel. If you highly respect and trust this person, the next tip will help you. If you don’t, then definitely don’t take it personally at all! Let it go in one ear and just as quickly out the other.

3. Look for the truth.

Remember, there is always a small degree of truth in everything. Statements that may feel like criticism can actually just be gentle, loving reminders. In fact, we may take a strong offense towards it because there is some truth in it and our Ego freaks out. Yep… that’s right! It seems crazy, but it’s true.

Allowing yourself to be open-minded to what you hear doesn’t mean you have to believe it or act upon it. It just means if you find something you can learn from, by all means, do it! Sometimes others can help us see things that we cannot grow and improve.

4. When the going gets tough, get TOUGHER!

Exactly! Even if you are a sensitive person, you’re going to have to toughen up and build a tolerance to criticism. It’s easy to be a critic, so most people are. It takes strength and courage to be who you truly are and live your own life.

You’ve got to get tough, because the truth is, you’ll meet critics your whole life. However, the good news is… the less attention you give to criticism, the less you’ll experience it.

The best “Get Tougher Tool” is self-esteem and deep inner confidence. So, if you feel defeated when judgment and criticism arise focus and develop your own inner love and confidence. Personal growth stems from these challenges.

When you know who you are and why you are here, you’re unstoppable.

5. Always be true to yourself!

This is the most important tip of them all – be true to yourself! Other people don’t have to understand your journey or even accept it. When you are true to yourself and who you are life is magical. Doors of opportunity open at every corner. Solutions are endless and life is fun and exciting.

Living a life that others accept or want for you is limiting your birthright of FREE WILL.  It’s not their life. It’s yours. Make the most of it! 🙂

How do you deal with criticism?

Optimists seem happier, but why?

How?

What do they do differently?

Being an optimist can help a huge range of issues from managing stress to overcoming an illness and everything in between. It’s no wonder they are so happy. It may seem like luck, but there are a few things optimists do differently to create their happy attitudes, even in the midst of challenges.

Here’s a great list to help you get started . . .

6 Things Optimists do Differently

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity;
an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
– Winston Churchill

1. Optimists let things go.

Optimists rarely over think events, situations, and people. They habitually let things go and put their time and focus on what matters most. Dwelling on the past and looking too far into something rarely brings a positive outcome. It usually brings negative assumptions and future pain and miscommunication.

TIP: When you feel the urge to look too deep into something, simply take a deep breath, tell yourself it doesn’t really matter and let it go. Move forward focusing on something more appealing to you.

2. Optimists embrace the roller coaster of life.

A misconception is that optimists have perfect, lucky lives and that’s why they are happy. On the contrary, optimists have ups and downs too. They are not immune to negativity, mistakes or challenges. Optimists have learned how to go with the flow and bounce back harder and faster from a defeat.

TIP: Next time a challenge arises and you are tempted to get upset and dwell with negative emotions, be open to finding the good in the situation. When you open yourself up and allow for a solution, one always arrives and at the perfect time. But the key is to believe, ask and await the solution. 😉

3. Optimists take chances.

Most people would take more chances if they didn’t have to fear or worry about the outcome. Optimists go with the flow and follow what feels good. They cast out worries and fears quickly. That’s not to say they don’t exists, but they release them as quickly as they arise because they understand that even if it doesn’t work out you can always learn from your mistakes.

TIP: Taking more chances can completely change your life. You no longer allow fear to hold you back from exploring what this beautiful planet and its people have to offer. Next time you want to do something but find a fear creeping up, cast it out by taking immediate action and just do it! 😉 You will feel so liberated!

4. Optimists are thankful (a lot!).

It’s very important to practice the power of being thankful. Typically, it’s very easy to focus on what is going wrong instead of what is going right. Research shows, again and again, that people who practice gratitude on a daily basis are healthier, happier, and more effective.

That’s why it’s an essential habit for optimists to practice daily. It’s like second nature to them, they live their life internally and verbally thanking others.

TIP: Throughout the day, intentionally look for things to be thankful for. If you really want to fully embrace this optimistic habit, create a list of five or ten things that you are grateful for and commit to that practice daily.

5. Optimists are flexible.

When plans change optimists are calm, cool and collected.  They’re focus is . . . “What’s next?”

To an optimist, change of plans just means a change in an adventure. No matter where an optimist is, they will find a way to enjoy themselves. They take things as they come. For example, a canceled event due to bad weather would never be a “ruined day”. To an optimist, what’s meant to be will be.

TIP: Practicing staying open to new ideas. When plans change, consciously observe your behavior. If you find it difficult to stay cool, create a plan A, plan B or even plan c if you have to. 😉

6. Optimists smile and laugh often.

A positive attitude is contagious. To an optimist, nothing can truly ruin their day. They will always find something that will make them smile, laugh or give them hope. They understand that a negative attitude will just bring a negative whirlwind of issues with it for the future. Who wants that?

Optimists enjoy smiling and laughing often. It keeps the mood light and the vibrations high. Even if the optimist doesn’t have something cheery to celebrate themselves, they seek it out for other people. An optimist can be your best cheerleader. They can turn an average day into a celebration!

TIP: Find reasons to smile, even if it’s making another person’s day. Find reasons to laugh, even if it’s at your own mistakes. 🙂

Anyone can be an optimist. It just takes conscious practiced habits. For more tips and help along your positive thinking journey we recommend reading >>Learned Optimism and >>The Bounce Back Book.

Sages have understood the importance of releasing judgment for ages.  They knew that a genuine understanding and compassion for all people would always be favorable. But, how can we stop judgment from happening?

Here are 4 Ways to Deal with Judgment:

1. Release your own judgment.

When you prematurely judge someone, you miss the opportunity to get to know who they are and what makes them unique.  You allow your limited perspective to cloud your vision from seeing the good in them. If they’re close to you, you miss the opportunity to love them more.

“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.”  – Luke 6:37

Releasing judgment also means releasing judgment of yourself. We can tend to be our own worst critic. When we release judgement of ourselves, we allow for more room to love ourselves. Areas that we were seeking to find improvement can gradually get better because we have switched our focus from a positive loving perspective rather than a negative, critical one.

A day spent judging another is a painful day. A day spent judging yourself is a painful day.
– Buddha

As you slowly begin to release judgement, you find you will experience less judgement from others.  Your vibration will be lifted and you will rise above. It doesn’t mean people aren’t doing it, but you won’t experience it in front of you.

2. Switch your focus to the positive.

Tip #1 is a gradual process and it’s something that doesn’t happen overnight. In the meantime, practicing to switch your focus to the good of others and the good of yourself works well.

Next time you find yourself being heavily judged and feeling down, switch your focus on everything you have achieved.  You have come a long way and have had great accomplishments. You are doing the best you can and you know that. In fact, the better you do the more nay-sayers there will be. So, by creating the habit to switch your focus and draw from that inner confidence will allow you to positively deal with judgment.

The highest spiritual practice is self-observation without judgement. – Swami Kripalu

3. Don’t take personal offense.

If someone is being critical of you, remind yourself that their opinion is coming from their limited perspective. They aren’t you and they haven’t lived a day in your shoes. Therefore, their opinion truly doesn’t matter. In fact, sometimes when someone is (on some level) jealous of you, they will purposely try to pick you apart. It makes them feel better.

Learning not to take offense of judgment can be tough, especially if it’s coming from someone you love. You may feel like you have to take offense and reply on the defense to protect yourself. But, the better choice is just to shrug it off.

It takes strength to shrug it off. That strength comes from inner confidence of knowing you do the best you can. If you find it hard to do, ask yourself if there is some truth (even a little) in what they are saying. Sometimes compassionate judgement can help us improve and grow.

If you judge people, you have no time to love them. – Mother Teresa

4. Leave the situation.

So, if you have tried all of the above tips and you are still receiving destructive judgment (not compassionate, loving feedback) that you cannot handle it’s best to leave the situation and create limits in your relationship with that person.  Negative environments, especially with people you really care about, can quickly affect your personal happiness and self-growth. You need to thrive in this world and there are enough outside influences that we have to overcome. We need to surround ourselves with loving, positive people who care about our well being and think about our highest good.

“Love is the absence of judgment” – The Dalai Lama

People are going to judge you, but the best defense is knowing who you truly are, what you want and where you are going.

Maybe someday there will come a time when judgment no longer exists.  There’s a beautiful freedom in allowing each of us to be ourselves.  Together, let’s create a brighter future with compassion, and freedom for all!

If you practice positive thinking, but you aren’t getting the results you expect, don’t declare it doesn’t work just yet. Oftentimes, a lack of results is usually caused by a source of equal of greater negative energy.  Sometimes, this blockage is taking place without you even realizing it.  Here’s a list of 9 things that can stunt positive thinking (without you even realizing it).

9 Things That Can Stunt Positive Thinking

1. Unhealthy eating habits

Studies show that poor nutrition can actually contribute to depression, deterring your goal of positive thinking.  Excessive weight gain can lead to lower self-esteem and quickly become a slippery slope.  And to add to it, many of today’s processed foods actually make you addicted to them, trapping you in a vortex of unhealthiness and unstable body chemistry.

Take the time to put LOVE into your body, one bite at a time.  Look at your ingredient labels, pine for the word organic, and consume as many unprocessed, whole foods as you can.  And make sure to eat lots of plant based foods!  It’s better for the environment on Earth, in your mind, and in your body.

2.Being in a negative social environment

Even though you’re doing your best to practice positive thinking, you may not realize that it’s those around you that unload their negative energy onto you. You know who they are, talking negatively about the people around them and their own life experiences.  And they may not even be realizing it, but their “venting” process is actually affecting your own positive energy.

Studies have shown that the energy associated with people’s auras can actually affect the energies of others.  Even if a person were to leave a room, their unique energy would linger where they were.

Keep yourself associated with other positive thinkers and more positive things will happen.  Simple as that.

3. Living a sedentary lifestyle

Findings from the University of Washington shows that a sedentary lifestyle can lead to health problems, including depression.  During the entire course of your life, you can literally NEVER run out of things to do.  There are far more places than you could ever visit, and far more activities to participate in, no matter what your ability. Pick something (anything) that you love that involves moving around and be sure to keep it as a staple on your weekly schedule, even if you only do it twice per week.

4. Negative Self-Talk

How do you speak of yourself to yourself?  How you live your life is largely determined by that “eency-weency” voice inside your head.  If that voice tells you things you don’t want, it’s important to speak up for what you DO want.

Research has shown that positive self-talk can have many benefits, such as improved reduced stress and improved health.  Affrmations can even help you improve in a variety of life settings.  There are many reasons why positive affirmations are important – and if you don’t make a habit of repeating them,  they’re easily lost.  What we repeatedly focus on expands.

It’s time to program new thoughts and habits with the affirmations below to help bring you what you DO want as opposed to what you don’t want.

5. Cluttered surroundings

Clutter can keep you from your goal of positive thinking.  When your surroundings are cluttered, your mind is cluttered and it can be easy to lose track of your mission, vision and purpose in life. The Princeton Neuroscience Institute  also released a study showing that physical clutter can actually affect your ability to focus and process information negatively.

When trying to both attain and keep a clear, positive thinking mind, clutter can distract you. This is especially true if you are a clean person by nature. De-clutter your workspace, garage, bedroom, closet, or another part of your place.

6. Lack of sleep

A lack of sleep can hinder your clarity and ability to think positively.  In a poll taken in 2005, it was found that many people that slept 6 hours or less per night were diagnosed with depression or anxiety at some point in their recent lives.

We know that it may not be your fault you’re missing out on good sleep either.  You could be up all night with a baby, or cramming for work or school studies.  Just try to get as much sleep as you can (including power naps) and you’ll knock down this potential pitfall in no time.

7. Job you don’t like

Being in a job you don’t like can directly impact your positive thinking practices without you even knowing it.  Sometimes we feel trapped in a job because it pays well, or is where we feel most comfortable.  If you can, shop yourself around and look for a new job.  You can also re-tool by learning new skills (that you can actually acquire online, for free!) and moving into a field that you think more positively about.

If you do nothing about this, the blockage can continue to occur until it ultimately erupts – and you may find yourself forced out of the position you disliked.

8.Improper Hydration

Reports have revealed that dehydration can actually affect your mood, leading you down an undesirable path of negativity and away from positive thinking.  Be sure to get at least 64 ounces of water intake per day to stay properly hydrated, healthy, and happy!

9. Judgement

The major block to compassion is the judgment in our minds. Judgment is the mind’s primary tool of separation.

Diane Berke

Judgment takes our own focus on positive thinking and twists it into talking about the shortfalls of others.  It is not our job to judge, and the only person you should be concerned about improving is your own self, for you and the examples you set for those around you.  Break free of the bondage judgment holds on you and let your positive thinking travel freely through your thoughts, words, and actions.

Have you experienced “positive thinking blockers” in your life?

Share them below to help the community identify and release the patterns of negativity to live their best life!