How to Tell If It’s LOVE. . . or Just Lust

To do well in life, you must believe in yourself. You are the one person you can truly rely on. Your belief about yourself and your abilities reflect in your personal success and happiness.  When you lack confidence in yourself, others pick up on that, and don’t take you seriously.  And in turn, your confidence can shrink even more.

Belief in yourself opens the doors of opportunity to your dreams and aspirations. It allows you to live your truth and be your best self.  You are an important and integral part of life as much as anyone and anything else. You have a purpose!  When you believe in yourself, the ability to follow your passions and live your purpose is available. You are allowing good things to come to you, and your belief in yourself allows you to act on those opportunities.

But, in this often highly competitive and demanding society we live in, we can feel small, unworthy and far from confident.

That doesn’t mean it’s not possible. It just takes specific skills and habits that must be consistently practiced.

Here are 5 Ways to Make Yourself Believe in Yourself:

1. Reflect on your past success.

If you’re in an emotional rut, use the tools from your past and get yourself out.

Here’s an exercise: Vividly remember a time when you absolutely just kicked butt! You rocked it! You exceeded your own expectation. 🙂 Put yourself there and feel the excitement and pride you had inside. Now, remember you can do it again.

It’s healthy to use the past to your advantage. Too often we easily recall what has hurt us, but we can just as easily allow the past to help us propel.

If you need a bigger boost, repeat the exercise.

2. Seek positive external validation.

Every day we are subconsciously seeking validation, essentially for love in some form. That level of validation depends upon the attitude of the people around us.

If we surround ourselves with positive people who care about us, cherish our strengths, and help us be uplifted, we will flourish. However, if we are around people with negative, limiting beliefs, we can become surrounded in a negative environment, not providing ourselves with the fertile ground we need to grow.

Happy, confident, successful people credit others. We all need positive encouragement. That can be a good friend, family member, or mentor.

3. Transform your self talk.

We create who we are, every day, by our daily beliefs and self talk. Our words are essentially affirmation. It’s important that we talk to ourselves with love and kindness. We deserve our own compliments.

For some that can be incredibly difficult. We can compliment and love others, but… love ourselves? It seems egotistical! But, it’s not.

You deserve your love and appreciation more than anyone else.  Shine your light and love towards every area you feel needs improvement.

Embrace your flaws? But, doesn’t that mean you’re accepting and allowing them to be there?

Actually, loving your flaws releases them and allows them to become whole and well again. If you are having a hard time, switch your focus to another area and come back to it later.

This practice can be achieved easier through daily personal affirmations and mirror work.

4. Give fears less credit, give yourself more.

Fear is merely false evidence appearing real. It’s worry set on fire. It holds you back from believing in yourself more than anything else. It’s an illusion.

Realizing that your fear is not real is the first step (which can actually be hard to do, so when you do you are well on your way).

Transcend the fear with action and do not hesitate. Yep, just like the Latin Proverb – Carpe Diem!

You are capable of much more than you believe. When you conquer fear you allow for more of your true self to shine. Keep up the momentum and declare to conquer a few fears in a specific amount of time (like once a month). In a year, you’ll look back and feel like a completely new you! 😉

5. Celebrate the positive.

Your everyday attitude affects how you treat yourself and others. Strive to be an optimist and see the good in the world. Focus on what you love about yourself and your strengths. Celebrate who you are and the good people you have in your life. Feel gratitude for everything going right and all the blessings on the way. Learn lessons from the challenges you’ve conquered.

A positive attitude is the quickest way to believing in yourself. It bypasses everything else and gets right to the end goal – happiness, love, success, and belief in yourself.

Join the conversation:

Have you overcome negative self-doubt? How? Let us know your ways to Make Yourself Believe in Yourself!

Work – : a job or activity that you do regularly especially in order to earn money: the place where you do your job: the things that you do especially as part of your job. (Merriam-Webster, 2014)

Hmm… We don’t see anything about “fun” or “enjoyment” in the definition of work, do you?

Considering that people spend over half of their waking life working, wouldn’t it be nice to have some fun once in a while? Well, you can and you should. Especially considering 83% of Americans are stressed out at work according to a recent study by Harris Interactive for Everest College.

If we can find new ways to make work more fun, we could lower this ridiculously large statistic as well as build a better environment for all employees. When there’s a positive feeling in the workplace, it extends to  customers as well. Below, here are 20 ways to make work more fun.

 20 Ways to Make Work Fun 

“Be happy for what you have, while working for what you want.” – Helen Keller

#1: Listen to music.

If practical, bring some headphones or portable stereo with you to work. If someone complains, tell them to consider this: researchers at the University of Illinois found that people who listened to music while doing complex analytical work or administrative tasks increased their productivity.

#2: Fung Shui your work space.

Energize and organize your workspace by doing some of all of the following: use colored post-its or paper clips, stack your baskets, use color-coded folders, get a small plant or flower, or have pictures and other inspirational stuff around

#3: Have a stress ball or something else to play with at your desk.

If you work on a computer or talk to people all day, it can get boring and stressful real quick. Having something pliable in your hand, like a stress ball, can help ease the boredom.

#4: Change your screensaver to something happy or relaxing.

Instead of your company logo, change the computer screen to a picture of nature, your favorite sports team or something else that is pleasant.

#5: Use your breaks to their full advantage.

Contrary to the corporate mindset, extended time at your desk does not increase productivity. Long stretches of concentrated work demand that your brain and body recharge, and you should be doing so.

#6: Create special interest groups.

Incorporate passionate endeavors to make work fun by forming a group with likeminded people. Create a fantasy football group, exercise group, political or current events group, etc…

#7: Have a potluck.

Regardless of what anyone says, food is fun. People love preparing food that they know will be enjoyed and appreciated by their coworkers.

#8: Host Team-building events.

Find a way to get out of the office and enjoy each other’s company. This brings your group closer together and provides a nice boost to morale and productivity.

#9: Celebrate milestones and successes.

People love recognition for a job well done and for their loyalty. Concentrate your resources and provide a small cash bonus or some kind of memento that shows appreciation for that individual’s efforts.

#10: Reward prizes for production.

When a coworker achieves or does something beyond the normal scope of their duties, such as making the first sale of the day or staying a half-hour late for their team, have some small prizes for them to choose from.

#11: Work for yourself, either on the side or full-time.

The business-savvy, world renowned Jeff Lerner recommends that you consider doing enjoyable freelance work or starting your own business from home to make work more fun. There are many ways to earn an income, or even multiple incomes, on your own schedule and your own terms.

#12: Have a charity day.

There’s something to be said about a workplace that gives back to the community. Consider a paid day where staff can get out of the office and contribute something to the greater good.

#13: Joke around (a little) to make work fun. 

Send out an email with a good (appropriate!) joke and watch the tension and stuffiness of the workplace diminish. This reinforces the important element of humor in the workplace…and it is important.

#14: Supervisor roasting.

This is a blast. Managers are unique in that eyes are constantly on them, and as a result so are their little quirks. Have a day where a good-natured manager can take a little ribbing and share some laughs with their team.

#15: Teammate roasting.

This, too, is a blast. While not quite as fun or fulfilling as roasting a manager, some good-natured humor directed at your teammate is a good morale booster.

#16: Have a welcome committee.

When new team members join, have them fill out some fun information about themselves (favorite sports team, hobby, TV show, anything), and have the committee take them out to lunch or surprise them with fun stuff for their workspace.

#17: Pick your own schedule.

For team members that deliver excellent results, let them pick their own schedule for the week or the month to make work more fun for them.

#18: Games, games, games.

Some workplaces have video game systems, table tennis, or foosball tables available for people to play on their breaks and lunches, and as a reward for excellent production. This is a huge morale booster and keeps the workplace productive and fun.

#19: Have a movie day.

It’s simple to set up a TV and DVD player, so gather the team or the workplace around and watch a flick. From experience, this is a fun and productive event.

Comedies are awesome, as the team can share and enjoy some laughter – another important part of having fun in the workplace.

#20: Take fun seriously.

Kind of a paradox, yes; but workplaces that mix fun stuff into their workplaces are healthier, more productive, and distinguish themselves from the grind that so many other employers put their workers through.

Taking the idea of fun in the workplace as a serious notion, either by yourself or as a team, brings happiness and joy to a place where it is much-needed.

Add to the conversation: Can you add to the list? We’d love to hear how you make work fun in the comments below.

“I never did a day’s work in my life. It was all fun.” – Thomas Edison

Did you know that most people are in a constant state of restlessness? It’s true. Peace of mind eludes many of us. From the moment we wake up, our brains are firing signals across its synapses and down to nerve endings in our bodies.

“For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Combine the physiological makeup of the human body with the demands of work, family, and other obligations, and we have the recipe for one batch of perpetual restlessness. To attain the peace of mind that makes us feel centered, safe, and focused, here are 21 ways to help you create the inner peace you seek.

21 Ways to Help Create Peace of Mind

Way #1: Try a 5-Minute Meditation.

Here’s a quick and effective stress reliever–meditation! Set your phone, watch, or whatever you like for a 5-minute period. Close your eyes, take deep breaths from your diaphragm, and focus on the present moment. Continue for 5 minutes. Remember, you are not trying to “think about nothing,” but rather to gently acknowledge thoughts as they arise with each inhalation and let them go as you exhale.

Way #2: Go for a Meditative Walk.

Sunshine and fresh air is magic for your frame of mind. Focus on your breath and feel the motion of your body as you step. Listen to the sounds of nature and the environment around you.

Way #3: Listen to Relaxing Music.

Do you have a favorite music artist that resonates with you? Music has a powerful effect on our mindset, as anyone who works out or studies while listening to music can tell you.

Way #4: Get creative.

If you have a friend who is an artist, ask them what goes through their mind when they are performing their craft. Odds are you are going to get an answer like “Nothing,” “Complete focus,” or “Peace.” Any craft – from writing and blogging to sketching and painting – has a very powerful effect on our minds.

Way #5: Pray.

It’s easy to be sidetracked by the stressors of this life as opposed to what’s most important, peace, love, and the delivery of your unique positive energy for a higher good. Remember what’s truly important to you and act on your faith in prayer, meditation, or whatever method you use to connect with your highest self.

Way #6: Leave inspiration around your home.

This works well – find what inspires you and place reminders around your place. Inspiration can take the form of quotes, scripture, images of your idol… anything that results in a positive, peaceful piece of mind.  Click here to for 3 ways to add positive energy to your home.

Way #7: De-clutter a part of your home.

When trying to both attain and keep a peaceful mind, clutter can distract you. This is especially true if you are a clean person by nature. De-clutter your workspace, garage, bedroom, closet, or another part of your place.

Way #8: Help someone in need.

This is good for the soul and keeping a peaceful, positive mindset. Many people could use a helping hand.

Way #9: Lose yourself in a book.

An engaging read engages and expands your mind. When focused on a good book, your mind relaxes and brings a peaceful ambiance.  Click here for 10 of our favorites!

Way #10: Recognize the good in people.

Unfortunately, what we read, see, and hear can both consciously and unconsciously cause us to judge and see the negative the people around us. Oddly, these people have great qualities that are made known if you look.

Way #11: Understand that possessions don’t equal peace.

In our consumerist culture, we are bombarded with marketing and advertising that promotes the “benefits” of a product and how it can “make life better.” Some of the happiest people in the world have little and love the minimalist way of life!

Way #12: Get into nature.

Our world is incredible in its diversity and natural attraction. Something as simple as sitting under a tree or relaxing by a river can have a calming, relaxing effect on your mind.

Way #13: Be with your loved ones.

There is something special in relaxing and being around the people you love. Relaxing with your spouse, kids, parents, and others you care about will help you appreciate life and bring you peace.

Way #14: Serve someone else.

History shows that the most peaceful, loving people are also servants of others. Jesus, Buddha, Mother Teresa, Gandhi… the list goes on. There is real power and peace in service for its own sake.

Way #15: Do what you love.

At work, home, or for recreation, don’t forget and set aside your passions for any reason.

Way #16: Resist dwelling on negative thoughts.

If you find yourself in a negative frame of mind, you can turn the tables by simply witnessing the thought and letting it go. There is peace to be found by not judging yourself and simply witnessing a thought as a byproduct of your mind.

Way #17: Single-task.

This is another area that can bring peace and tranquility to your life. When doing something, anything, keep your mind on that one thing. This can be anything from brushing your teeth to writing a book. Realize that our brains are meant to take on one thing simultaneously. Multitasking is inefficient, unnecessary, and unhealthy.

Way #18: Stretch.

When we work or expend any effort, our body becomes tense.  A quick stretch of your arms, legs and other areas of your body is relaxing and can bring peace of mind.

Way #19: Be truthful.

This means resisting the temptation to tell “little white lies” and other untruths. Telling the truth reduces stress, promotes peace, and is just the right thing to do.

Way #20: Stop procrastinating.

When something needs to be done, and we don’t do it, the stress takes on both a conscious and an unconscious form. We all have things we don’t want to do, but the sooner it’s resolved, the sooner we forget about it!

Way #21: Do nothing at all.

You read that correctly – do nothing. We all work hard and need to take some time once in a while. Sit or lay down and be present. That quiet time, all alone, improves peace of mind.

We all want to be happier, right?  In order to achieve that goal, we must first rewire our brain.

Here’s why. In our culture, we place so much emphasis and pride in our ability to manage numerous priorities. We rise early, tackle our work, stay late, go home, and hopefully have some energy left for family time and maybe even some fun.

“The mind is everything. What you think you become.” – Buddha

People nowadays take less vacation, work longer days, and retire at a later age. As a result, our brains are stressed and pushed to extreme limits – even unhealthy limits. In short, many of our lives are difficult.

So what can we do about this culture that’s been ingrained into the fabric of our society? Perhaps the best – maybe even the simplest­ – thing to do is to change our brains. If we can change our brains, we can change our lives!

I know – you are probably thinking that this sounds hard. Well, it’s not easy but it’s not impossible, either. And it’s certainly easier than trying to change the way our society works.

Use these 7 tips to rewire your brain for powerful life changes.

Brain Tip #1: Embrace a Positive Lifestyle

Despite of the difficulties facing our daily lives, we can indeed embrace a lifestyle of positive thinking and positive habits. Turning negative habits into positive ones requires both resilience and time management.

There are many different ways in which you can embrace a more positive lifestyle – practice affirmations, express gratitude, place inspirational material (such a quotes, religious scripture, etc.) around you, read uplifting books, meditation, exercise… just find something that helps you unwind and enjoy life. And most importantly – keep doing these things.

Embracing the positive will change your brain little by little.

Brain Tip #2: Monitor Your Self Talk

Self-talk is that continuous stream of thoughts that run through your brain every day. These thoughts can be positive, negative, or neutral. Please understand this concept: if your thoughts are continuously negative, you are going to become a pessimist. If your thoughts are positive, you are going to be an optimist. Optimism = happiness + success!

Again, what you think you become. We cannot continuously have negative thoughts and expect live a positive life.

Utilize Brain Tip #1 to start changing your self-talk and your brain!

Brain Tip #3: Take time to visualize your goals and aspirations

Jack Canfield, the world-renowned author of “Chicken Soup for the Soul” and one of world’s foremost authorities on success, states that the daily practice of visualizing your dreams as already complete can drastically quicken your realization of your dreams, goals and ambitions.

Visualization is a remarkably simple practice: just sit in a comfortable position, close your eyes and image your goals and aspirations as already completed. Look through your own eyes as to what you would see, feel, and hear if you met these goals and aspirations.

And you only need a few minutes each day. Visualize when you first awake, after meditation or supplication, or at another time when you are the most relaxed.

Brain Tip #4: Take action that supports your goals.

By following the first four brain tips, you should be ready to take some action! You’re embracing a positive lifestyle, watching your self-talk and visualizing your goals. Good for you!

And here’s a promise: if you take action on your goals and aspirations, your life is going to become easier and more fulfilling. You’ll probably discover that the challenge lies in staying consistent and motivated. Know that everyone feels these things, and some people drive on and make their dreams a reality, anyways!

You’re here reading this article, so you already have the determination and drive. Take action and keep going!

Brain Tip #5: Know your purpose

It may sound cliché, but life is too short to live it for someone or something else. Taking ones purpose for granted or setting it aside because of demands placed on us is wasteful and unfulfilling. After all, this is your happiness that we are talking about!

When your brain clearly understands your purpose in this lifetime, it reverberates through your entire being. The big secret is to finding your purpose.

Ask yourself two simple questions: (1) Do you know what you love doing, or can you find out? and (2) Can you make an impact doing what you love?

Brain Tip #6: Know that your brain can be changed

‘Neuroplasticity’ is an actual medical term that refers to the brain’s amazing ability to form new neural connections throughout life. That’s right – your brain can literally grow through your own conscious efforts.

A wonderful book on this is called “Change Your Brain, Change Your Life” by Dr. Daniel Amen, one of the world’s most prominent and sought-after psychiatrists in the world, whom Dr. Mehmet Oz (“Dr. Oz”) calls “One of the most gifted minds in medicine.”

Dr. Amen writes comprehensively on the fact if you make a conscious decision to make changes in your life, no matter how big or how small, you can willfully make it happen.

Brain Tip #7: Know that anything is possible

We’ve walked on the moon, created electricity, discovered flight, mapped the human genome, mass produced automobiles… all through the power of our brain. And here’s the thing… the only person who believed it was possible was the mind that first conceived it.

It Takes Effort to Rewire Your Brain!

Your brain is an absolutely amazing gift, and you have something incredible waiting to be discovered. Maintain a positive attitude, create positive energy, and your brain will do the rest. What will you try to rewire your brain?

Have you ever wondered why you’re alive?

What’s your life’s purpose? Do you have a mission? Of course, the thought of a purpose gives us a great pleasure. We live our lives trying to make a living and fit in, but there’s more to it. The truth is that our sole mission is to be happy – to find success and peace from within.

We all have a definition of success: some think that it requires money, others think that it requires a beautiful family or talent, or special skills, or recognition. There are as many definitions to success as there are humans on this planet. What’s important is that you find your own way to fulfillment and live life from a place of satisfaction.

Here are 10 ways to find a life of fulfillment

1. Discover your true self

   Live your life accordingly to your inmost desires. Spend time to realize what makes your overflow with joy. Don’t give in to doubts and fears about your human abilities. Find the strength to shine your light and allow others to see you for who you really are. In order to do that, you need to spend time unveiling yourself.

   We all learned during our lives to hide parts of us in order to be accepted; allow those parts to come to the surface and integrate them. Do you have a secret passion no one knows about? Are you interested in painting but never had the opportunity to start because you thought you were not good enough? Now it’s the time to walk the path you always dreamed about.

2. Be authentic.

   The beauty of this world consists in what we perceive as parts of it: each and every human alive at the moment, nature, plants, animals, buildings and so on. Look outside yourself and learn from Mother Nature to be your true, authentic self. It teaches us how to effortlessly give birth to the most astonishing things we could have ever imagined without compromising integrity. You are a unique individual who is already equipped with all the tools to become the best version of yourself.

3. Live in the moment.

   Be aware that everything eventually fades away, disappears, or transforms. This is a harsh truth that we should all acknowledge in order to use our time most effectively. This moment that you are spending reading this article will never come back; so sink in and open your heart to these words. Fulfillment comes from this awareness.

4. Purify your mind

   Life’s true importance comes from within; all the events that you perceive as exterior to yourself are filtered through your mind. Your mental capacity of discerning one thing from another, of analyzing, synthesizing, remembering is outstanding. But in order for your mind to function correctly, it must be cleared of all impurities, such as obsessive thoughts that torment you (as self-criticism), excessive worrying, ideas that induce panic or any other negative imprint. There are so many things you can do in order to purify your mind: meditation, stress relieve therapies, walks in nature, reading a good book that uplifts your spirit, playing with kids, enjoying the beautiful company of an animal.

5. Practice Compassion

   All of us sharing this space and time on planet Earth, function internally the same way. We all struggle, get disappointed, dream, trust, love. No one is greater or lesser than you are. See in everyone you meet an individual yearning to find him/herself. Everyone is on a different path to fulfillment.

6. Take chances.

   A life lived in fear is no life at all. Find the internal guidance system that tells you when to shift. Be aware of your emotions; follow your instinct and walk your own path. Follow your calling and dissolve the boundaries of a life that doesn’t bring you joy.

7. Be responsible

   You should understand that you’re in control of your own life. When something doesn’t turn out as planned, it produces pain. In your mind, you link the pain to how you see the event and not to the event. Acknowledge that only you are responsible for the way you look at things. When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.

8. Create from the heart

   You are here to be happy and to create your own results in life. Master the skills you have been given and rise to your greatest potential. Dreams are ageless. Feel your dreams from the heart, decide what kind of life you want for yourself, and take the first step towards it.

9. Focus on the good in your life

   Practice being positive even in the darkest moments. Remember that everything passes and always nurture in your heart that place of joy and awe.  You can do this through affirmations, gratitude lists, or even speaking positive things to yourself in the mirror each morning.

10. LOVE

    Love as much as you can and be grateful for everything you have in your life right now. It’s important! After all, love is the reason you are alive and experiencing your growth as an individual. What’s even more important than love for others is self-love.  Self-love is the first step to building healthy relationships to everyone around you.

And those, friends, are the keys to fulfillment. Join the conversation and share your tips!