7 Signs You’re in an Authentic Relationship

We all dream about a perfect partner who could increase our heart rate and make our heads spin daily. We all find ourselves in that space of intense desire and get easily disappointed when we attract partners with whom we simply don’t resonate. Everywhere we look, from TV commercials to movies and random banners, we get the wrong idea about what having a significant other in your life really comes down to. It can be easy to miss the fact that a relationship needs to be there not only to give and receive love but also to grow as a person.

Here are 7 signs you’re in an authentic relationship that helps you grow as an individual.

1. Your special someone gives you wings

One of their main focuses is to see you happy, free from restrictions, and using your highest potential in order to achieve your desires. This partner may gently push you ‘out there’ because he or she sees your potential and wants to see you shine. This partner encourages you on a daily basis and tenderly shifts your focus from ‘I am not good enough’ to ‘I can do it’.

2. Your partner considers communication essential in your relationship

You and him/her both, progressively practice opening up to one another. This process requires time, patience, acceptance and love. As we get involved in romantic relationships (or any kind of relationships, for that matter), most of us dissociate from our authentic self and create a false image of ourselves- that always provided the safety of acceptance. Having a true connection with someone means unveiling our true spirit and functioning from that place of truthfulness.

3. Your significant other  soothes you when you’re too hard on yourself

All individuals give in to self-criticism at a certain point; society doesn’t help as it continuously promotes the idea of more: bigger, better, newer are the leitmotifs of our daily living. No wonder in this context we often find ourselves caught in a space of negativity. When this happens, your partner doesn’t invalidate your feelings but tries to shift your perception. Looking at things from a different point of view, in difficult moments, can light up new realms for you.

4. Your partner is aware of the importance of quality time together

He/she always practices being fully present around you. As your connection deepens, both of you devote yourselves to one another and how to become one without losing your individuality.

5. Your relationship facilitates the growth of both of you

In time, you and your partner become the best versions of yourselves you have ever imagined. Your significant other boosts your expansion as a human being. And he/she teaches you to remain centered through life’s ups and downs.

6. Your relationship makes you feel safe

Nowadays, everywhere we turn, we witness dramatic events. We can easily dive into the increasing wave of negative emotions promoted mostly by the media. In these conditions, your relationship becomes that safe space of purity, tenderness, joy, and fulfillment. We are so used to the drama that we unconsciously bring it in our lives. Our romantic relationships are commonly exposed to this situation. An aware and loving partner will work on dissolving any negative vibe that could cloud your connection. He/she will defuse any tension arisen between you as a result of something that clearly has nothing to do with the two of you.

7. An authentic relationship teaches you how to love unconditionally

It breaks the walls most of us created in order to protect ourselves, leaving us opened, vulnerable and extremely sensitive. You learn how to provide for yourself and for your partner from a place of relaxation, attention, and flexibility. Most importantly, the right relationship gives you the strength to reach your greatest potential. Indeed, it does this by diving into that unique space of genuine self-love, so inaccessible to the majority of us.

Do you have a sign to add to the list?  Discuss below, and let your relationship SHINE!

“We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves.” – Buddha

Life can be very challenging. With constant demands being placed on our time, it can feel like life is happening to us, not for us. We can get caught up and allow other people and events to run our day, sometimes missing out on opportunities for ourselves.

But, there is a solution to this ever increasing problem – the power of positivity. Consciously making a decision to become a better, more positive version of yourself can and WILL transform your every day life.

Expanding your comfort zone is where growth happens.  With your continual willingness and practice you’ll begin to see more evidence of change. Making gradual small changes in your habits will create big positive ripples down the road. Soon enough, you’ll look back and be astonished at the transformation you’ve made.

And the good news is . . . with the power of positivity it just keeps getting better and better. 😉

Here are 11 Ways to Become a More Positive Thinker:

#1. Use visualization to reinforce what you want to become.

If you really want something, visualize it. Take your focus off of what you don’t want, and spend more time thinking about what you do want.  It might take some conscious effort, especially in the beginning. But, eventually you will spend more time visualizing and focusing on what you do want, that you’ll start to see it happening!

Visualization is simpler than you think.  You probably did it way more when you were a child and teenager than you do now. If you do still “daydream” maybe you think it’s something that’s not realistic for you? Otherwise you would already be there or have it.

Visualization is ALL about positive energy and replaying the story that we wish to see in our mind.

The Greek philosopher and scientist Aristotle put it this way:
“First, have a definite, clear, practical ideal; a goal, an objective.
Second, have the necessary means to achieve your ends: wisdom, money, materials, and methods.
Third, adjust all your means to that end.”

Athletes like Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods have sworn by visualization. So get at it and start visualizing what you want more often. 😉

#2. Express gratitude for everything good in your life.

It’s very important to realize the power of being grateful for what you have. Typically, it’s very easy to focus on what is going wrong instead of what is going right. Research shows, again and again, that people who practice gratitude on a daily basis are healthier, happier, and more effective.

Throughout the day, intentionally look for things to be thankful for. If you really want to get into the art (and success) of gratitude, create a list of five or ten things that you are grateful for and commit to that practice daily.

Gratitude is important to practice every day. If you’ve never done it, at first it may seem like a chore; that’s okay. Eventually it will become second nature and you’ll be expressing gratitude naturally all throughout the day. Especially when you find yourself going the wrong direction, switch your attention to what is going right.

#3. Place inspiring quotes all around you.

We’ve had the great fortune of living after and amongst some of the greatest human minds: William Shakespeare, Albert Einstein, Abraham Lincoln, Norman Vincent Peale, Confucius (if you want to get old, old school with it!)…  The list is quite literally endless. Find a person or persons who inspire you the most and surround yourself with their words. This is so, so powerful.

You can also feel free to print out our posters from our Facebook page and hang them on your refrigerator, desk or vision board.

#4. Listen to uplifting music.

I’m sure this is just a reminder… but, music can uplift and inspire in ways that few other things can. Music emanates from our alarm clocks, car radios, cell phones, MP3 players, and laptops. It can make us smile, laugh, sway, dance and groove. It’s energizing, powerful, and encouraging. Listen to whatever music inspires you and watch magic happen. 😉

#5. Read motivating books.

Not the corporate drivel that your workplace or school has assigned you, but real, powerful, uplifting books. Books that will open your mind and keep you dreaming. Books that will make you appreciate and value yourself. Books that will empower and inspire you to become and do more – there are many, many literary masterpieces out there that will do this. >>Our Top 10 Positive Thinking Books That Can Change Your Life.

#6. Create personal affirmations and restate your affirmations every day until they are part of you.

We’ve written some great articles about affirmations – what they are, what they do, and a complete guide on how to use them.  If you are new to affirmations then please >>Read more here. Otherwise, we are reminding you to take full advantage of the words that are coming out of your mouth. Every word we speak is an affirmation and when we can consciously keep our focus in the positive direction we can effectively change the brain and reality.

#7. Become a student of meditation.

Meditation is not just for spiritual gurus or yogis. Meditation is a practical way to bring peace, tranquility and consciousness in the midst of our busy lives. You can practice traditional yoga or even try an exercise that puts you in a meditative state like walking, running or yoga. A good 15 minute meditation can do wonders, but even 1 minute of your time can help.  Seriously, Google “How to Meditate in One Minute”! Meditation helps ease anxiety, anger, depression, stress, and insomnia.

#8. Be around positive people.

“You are the company you keep.” This quote says it all. If you hang around and interact with negative, downtrodden people, how do you think you’re going to feel and act?

On the other hand, if you surround yourself with positive people (like other PoP members) you become exposed to positive values and ideals while reinforcing and strengthening your positive mental attitude. This is why it is so important to remain attentive of the people you surround yourself with and even more so the frequency and the length.

#9. Get some sort of exercise.

Exercise is magical. . . seriously. The benefits of a brisk walk, a jog, lifting weights, or any other kind of physical activity are astounding. The Mayo Clinic reports six major benefits to any kind of exercise. Exercising: controls weight, combats health conditions and diseases, improves mood, boosts energy, promotes better sleep and enables a better sex life. Try to aim for at least 30 minutes of physical activity each day. You can even break the 30 minutes into 10 minute intervals if time is a stretch for you.

#10. Carry a personal, powerful memento with you.

This can be a quote, a picture of a hero, scripture…anything as long as it powerfully resonates with you. Visual reminders are important for our brains, as they reinforce the kind of person that we want to be. These mementos can change your brain and change your life. Put it in your purse, wallet, and pocket; or on your desk, dashboard and end table. Look at it numerous times throughout the day for inspiration.

#11. Take on a hobby or passion.

Remember to have fun and enjoy yourself – that’s the secret to a happy life and better you. Put work and obligations aside once in a while and do something that you love. Of course, if you love your work  and it doesn’t feel like work, then BINGO  you are definitely on the right path.

Add to the List:
What habit has helped you become a better, more positive YOU?

Affirmations are positive declarations and self-scripts that mold the subconscious into a more positive form. And lately, this new-age practice is approved by practitioners and their patients as potentially revolutionary practice in treating depression.

These individuals state that positive affirmations have the capability to heal the hurt done by negative talk that takes place both from within our own minds and from the mouths of others.

What about affirmations to help treat the two most common mental illnesses in the world – anxiety and depression?

Can the causes or symptoms of anxiety and depression be reduced, or even healed, through positive affirmations?

Promising Research on Affirmations

In a 2009 study done at Arizona State University, three expert ‘populations’ were studied: popular self-help literature, respected psychologists and psychotherapists, and individuals who were experiencing anxiety and/or depression.

In the research that was conducted it was determined that, at the very least, affirmations can be useful as a supplemental form of treatment for many depressed and/or anxious patients. For some patients, affirmations proved to be the most influential part of their recovery process.

Within the study, 17 therapists on a scale of 1-7, rated seven different affirmations on how effective they were in the treatment of those struggling with an anxiety disorder and/or clinical depression. The same affirmations were used for both disorders, as they often complement each other.

Interestingly, the three highest-rated affirmations were for anxiety. The top three affirmations had average scores of 5.43, 5.37, and 5.03, respectively. On the other hand, the top three affirmations for depression had scores of 4.83, 4.58, and 4.58.

Nearly all of the participants (including the therapists) agreed that affirmations can be a helpful practice when recovering from anxiety and depression! Individuality and the patients’ preferred method of treatment is thought to be the most important element in determining how effective a method of treatment is.

In other words, the willingness and belief of the individual to embrace positive affirmations increases the likelihood that these affirmations will make a positive impact!

The authors conclude with restating that treatments for anxiety and depression are highly individualized and customizable, and must be constructed as such. In the construction of an individualized treatment plan, all therapists and the authors of the study agree that affirmations should be deliberated – as they have been embraced by therapists and patients alike.

11 Powerful Affirmations to Help Treat Depression and Anxiety

If you are new to affirmations, you’ll find our “How to Practice Affirmations” guide below very helpful.  Repeat these positive affirmations, begin to believe them and you’ll see results!

1. I love myself unconditionally.

 2. I am STRONG!

3. I allow only healthy and loving relationships into my life.

4. Life wants the best for me. I am OK with where I am right now.

5. I am connected and comfortable in all environments, with all people.

6. I find and enjoy the simple pleasures life is offering right now.

7. How I feel matters, therefore I concentrate on aspects of life that make me feel good!

8. My challenges bring me better opportunities.

9. My mood creates a physiological response in my body. I am peaceful and positive!

10. I am in control of my thoughts and my life.

11. I love myself and who I am.

How to Practice Your Affirmations

First, it’s important to understand that the effectiveness of affirmations depends on your commitment and dedication to practicing consistently. Therefore, the belief of the affirmation will get easier over time. If you talk every day, then you are already practicing affirmations.

Every word you speak is an affirmation.  And so, it’s just that sometimes our affirmations to ourselves, about others, or our situation is not positive. Affirmations help us to consciously flip the switch and begin speaking in the direction that we actually want to travel.

You will want to make affirmations a daily routine (or at least a few times a week) in order to achieve the maximum benefits and help relieve your anxiety/depression faster. Be gentle with yourself though and do them as often as you can. Like anything, it seems harder in the beginning and then gets easier and easier until it’s like second nature.

Positive Affirmations: Helpful tips

Contemplate your positive qualities.

As human beings, we more often think about what we’d rather change about ourselves than what we love. We are all unique creatures. And, we possess gifts that no one else in the world has! Write down the things that you know are special about you, and write them in the first person (“I am…”)

Consider the negative scripts that you wish to replace with positive ones.

What goes through your head when you’re down? Do you have negative perceptions about your looks, intelligence, accomplishments or abilities? Time to replace that negative chatter with those positive qualities you listed in step one!

Consider what positive goals you want to accomplish.

There are specific goals that you want to achieve, right? As you continue to feel better about yourself, you’ll be more and more motivated to work towards these. Write them down.

Order your list of goals and scripts.

You may find that your list of scripts and goals have grown rather large. That’s great! You will want to work on a few of these at a time. Choose what is the most urgent and work on these first. When you see measurable improvement in an area, move down the list!

Re-write and re-read your affirmations and goals daily.

Make a habit of writing your goals and scripts daily – to the point where they’re the last thing you think of when you fall asleep and the first thing when you wake up.

Combine your positive qualities (step 1) with your goals (step 3).

What positive qualities did you affirm in step one that can help you achieve the goals that you’ve set? If you resolve to lose weight and have great focus, then you can combine these two to give yourself some momentum. Choose two or three affirmations to support your goals.

Meditate on your affirmations.

Get in a meditative state, whatever is most comfortable for you, close your eyes, and think about your affirmations. Feel the emotions that arise as you repeat the words and think about the future.

Remind yourself of your affirmations.

Write down your affirmations on notecards, a whiteboard, scrap paper, or Post-Its. Then, place them around your home, work, and car. Of course, place them where you’ll see them!. Each time you see the affirmation, think about what it means to you.

Keep at it!

Finally, remember that practice makes perfect. As you continue with your affirmations and begin to see real evidence of your making small changes, feel gratitude and keep going. You will begin to see bigger and bigger changes in your mood, feelings about yourself and others, and your life.

Add to the Conversation:

Do you have a positive affirmation that has helped you? Please share in the comments below!

Depression is an incredibly difficult thing for a person to go through. Feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness, sadness, anxiety, emptiness, loss of interest, and even physical aches and pains like headaches and cramps, are a constant reminder for someone with depression that they are afflicted.

If someone that you love has been diagnosed with depression, you may indeed be feeling some of these things yourself. Please understand that it is important for you to be there for your loved one, and that they need your support.

Here are 8 ways that you can compassionately support someone with depression.

#1: Research and understand what depression is

This is very important; as it helps you understand what the body and mind actually experience during depression.

For example, many people do not know that there are at least nine major classes of depression. These classes all have various symptoms and some have different treatment measures.

Understanding depression, depression types, and treatment options will put you in a better position to understand the illness. With this understanding, you are far less likely to criticize, judge, or otherwise, offend the person.

#2: Be there for them

After understanding the illness, you should be there for them. Be aware that your loved one’s mood maybe not so good, and that they may also feel tired or irritable. It’s important not to take this personally, as these are just byproducts of the illness.

Again, be there for support – not for tough love, giving advice, or other ulterior motives.

Your presence is the most important thing here.

#3: Show them the good things in their lives

Here, don’t tell them how they should feel – like that they should be grateful, positive, enthusiastic, etc. Simply tell them they are loved or cared for, and that people are thinking about them.

If you are not a particularly emotional person – that’s okay! Simply send them a text message or send them a letter or card, or post to their Facebook page.

#4: Release judgement

This is very important and needs to be completely understood. Most people with depression are already ashamed and feel weakened; criticizing or judging them makes an unfortunate situation even worse, and could possibly isolate you from your loved one.

Judging and criticizing a chemical-based illness is pointless and potentially very damaging to the afflicted and the relationship. Remember, depression is not a personality flaw; it is a medical illness with years of scientific research.

Contrary to popular belief, they don’t pity themselves and many of them are strong people.

#5: Be gentle with yourself

When a very close family member or friend is going through depression, it can be very difficult to come to terms with the fact that there is only so much that one can do.

Depression is a battle, and it can be a very long one. In the heat of this battle, you are certainly going to feel helpless and perplexed at times. Remember, you can equip and support the troops as much as possible, but they are the ones that fight.

You cannot solve this problem or heal them of this disorder – this is for the doctor or the therapist to do. The best thing you can do is show unconditional love and support while lending a helping hand.

#6: Take care of yourself, too

Helping someone as they battle depression can be exhausting and trying, both mentally and physically.

If you are in a weakened or stressed state, how effective will you be for your loved one?

You should make sure that your own needs are being met and that you are taking care of yourself too. Make sure that you are getting ample sleep, good nutrition, and getting in some fun time for yourself.

#7: Encourage treatment

Some people with depression don’t even realize that they have it, much less seek any kind of treatment. Often, those that are affected often feel ashamed to admit that they are. Some feel that the ailment can be overcome with just willpower or with time.

The truth is that it’s rare for people to get better without some type of treatment.  This can be through a doctor/counsellor, nutrition therapy, positive inspiration, or a combination of all.

With your knowledge of depression, you are well equipped to recognize the signs and symptoms of depression. Further, you are able to encourage them and discuss their options for treatment.

#8: Educate them

Here are some things that you can do to help…

– Discuss with the person what you’ve noticed and your concerns.

– Explain that you are more than willing to lend an ear if they want or need to talk.

– Explain that depression is a medical condition, caused by chemical imbalances in the brain. It is not a sign of weakness or some kind of character flaw and usually gets better with treatment.

– Discuss the various treatment types, including counseling.

– Offer to help set up and get them ready to take the next positive step.

Depression is a serious condition and needs to be treated ASAP. If your loved one is opposing treatment or shows troubling signs or behaviors, you should contact a doctor or other mental health professional for advice.

By compassionately supporting someone with depression you are better equipped to help your loved one through this difficult time.  You may even save their life.