“I never did a day’s work in my life. It was all fun.” – Thomas Edison

The greatest inventor of all time certainly knew how to keep things in perspective, didn’t he? While you may not have the inventive capability of Mr. Edison, you can certainly make a conscious effort to have fun and enjoy your life.

Most of us live a busy life and you are probably no different. Between family, work, and sleep, you may have a maximum eight hours of “free time,” the majority of which is probably used up in general, everyday tasks.

Relaxation and having some fun is not a luxury, it’s a necessity. Your mind and body need rejuvenation for you to be both healthy and productive. We call this stress release.

Here are 7 ways to help create some fun in your busy life.

 1. Leave work at work

This is a big one because when you take your work home your time is no longer your time. The stressors of the day continue when you should be enjoying something else– having dinner with family, catching up with your kids, having some quiet time, or whatever else you enjoy.

In the article “4 Ways to Leave Work at Work,” Psychology Today’s Margarita Tartakovsky provides some recommendations for those having trouble with leaving work at work. Among them, she recommends consciously releasing your nagging thoughts through a short, meditative practice.

To release any thoughts left over from work, close your eyes for one minute and breathe mindfully. Notice any negative thoughts as they arise and let them go with each exhale. Continue to focus on your breath and conclude the practice by slowly opening your eyes and gradually moving your body.

2. Be in the present moment.

Being present is applicable to nearly every area of our life and this includes your fun time.

It is not necessary to multitask and “keep busy” all of the time. Doing so simply adds to your stress and makes enjoying yourself more difficult. Forget catching up on emails, sending text messages, or checking the news when you’re doing something on your own time.

Instead, take the time to be present and enjoy whatever it is that you are doing. You’ll realize two things: whatever it is you’re doing is more enjoyable and there is significantly less stress in your mind and body.

3. Schedule time for R&R.

Just as your schedule conference calls and deadlines, schedule some time for fun.

A new movie coming out that want to see? Schedule it. Need some fun time alone with one of your kids? Schedule it. Just as importantly, stick with your fun schedule and treat it as you would a meeting with your boss. If it’s important to you, it’s important enough.

4. Give yourself some time each morning.

It’s true that how you approach the morning sets the tone for the entire day. Set aside 15 to 30 minutes for something that helps you transition into your day – just make sure that whatever you do is not work-related.

For this morning routine, do something enjoyable that would really provide a boost. This could be: reading something inspirational, meditation, exercise, a cup of coffee or tea with the morning paper… just do something that brings you joy. You’ll find your mood is more pleasant and productive as you start tackling the items on your “to-do” list.

5. Make fun time non-negotiable while realizing its importance.

As you schedule a time for some fun, certain things may come up that demand your attention. The simple rule that you should stick with is: if whatever comes up is not urgent, it can wait. Remember, this time is a necessity for your overall wellbeing. Your mental and physical health is not something that you should take lightly or allow someone else to either.

According to Scientific American, an overwhelming number of studies have shown that downtime increases concentration, expands attention, encourages creativity, and strengthens memory. Within the study, performing a relaxing, fun activity for just 10 minutes can increase your brain capacity and reduce physical stress.

Pretty convincing…and all the more reason to stick with this scheduled time.

6. Enjoy life’s simple pleasures.

“It’s the simple things in life.” How many times have you heard this? It is and will forever remain a true statement.

The problem is that we are overstimulated and inundated with information from everywhere… our brains are on overdrive for much of the workday… in short – our busy lives can make it difficult to realize and enjoy the simple things in life.

However, taking even a minute to mindfully appreciate simple pleasures in your life can make an amazing difference. More exciting, these simple pleasures can be found everywhere and at nearly anytime.

Here are some ideas – your morning cup of coffee, breakfast with your kids, listening to music, a good meal, the sunset, a quiet place in the park, a day in the snow or the sunshine, a brief chat with someone new…many, many things can be considered a simple pleasure and enjoyed.

7. Put one or more ideas on this list into practice right now.

Enjoying your life is so important, yet we have a tendency to treat it like enjoyment is a luxury – it’s not.

Your time is a precious thing that once gone can never be taken back. Take this time when you’d normally be reading the 7^th item on some list to really contemplate how important it is to enjoy yourself while making a commitment to put one or more of these suggestions into practice.

 

Your turn: Do you have a suggestion for how to fit fun into your busy life? Please share with us!

“There is nothing so strong or safe in an emergency of life as the simple truth.” – Charles Dickens

The often hectic nature of your life can frequently result in forgetfulness. From the moment you wake, you’re already thinking about what you need to do, where you need to be, and how to go about accomplishing the things that demand your attention. Often forgotten in this daily routine are simple realities and truths of life that we all need to remember.

Some truths of your existence can indeed be complex – your purpose, relationships, psychology… but there are also simple, universal truths that you can and should recognize. The recognition and application of these simple truths will make your life flow more easily

Here are 7 easily forgotten simple truths that can help you in your daily life.

Truth #1 – Accepting your flaws is much easier than fighting them.

Everyone has things about themselves that they wish they could change – intellect, looks, health, and a myriad of other attributes. This is especially true when it comes to how we appear, physically and otherwise, to other people.

The important thing to remember here is that the people who truly love you do so with full acceptance if not knowledge of, your flaws. Of course, in recognizing your “flaws” you take one step closer to loving yourself – the most important kind of love.

Truth #2 – Attempting to fight things beyond your control can be fruitless (and even harmful).

Things “beyond your control” include any and all situations and events that happen without your influence. There can be countless other scenarios that are without a doubt tough situations, but ones in which your impact is limited or even null.  The importance of recognizing and accepting things beyond your control is paramount. Many people go their entire lives attempting to control the uncontrollable. The result is excessive worry, stress, and impairment in the quality of life. Sometimes, this undue stress can manifest itself into physical symptoms if not controlled.

When a tough situation happens in your life, think of it as an opportunity to build upon your character and strength. Remember, “This too shall pass,” and you’ll be a better, stronger individual because of it.

Truth #3 – Emotional decisions are often bad ones.

Allowing temporary emotions, however strong they may be, to displace your logic and intellect is never a good practice. When you make an emotional decision, you are reactive and not proactive. These reactions occur with a very small amount of conscious thought and the presence of too many momentary feelings that will flee once you take yourself out of the situation.

A good rule of thumb is to allow yourself to feel whatever the emotion may be, take a few deep breaths, isolate yourself from the situation if possible, and give yourself a moment to think. Remember this quick practice whenever an impulse arises that may result in regret later.

Truth #4 – Every mistake is a teachable moment.

No matter how diligent, mindful, responsible, or disciplined you are you will make mistakes. Human beings are fallible, and although you are probably a good person, mistakes happen. It’s a part of life.

The beautiful thing is that every mistake that you make teaches you something new and takes you one step closer to your destination. Every time you make a mistake, it builds on that inner strength that already resides in your being.

Results of your mistakes always end up in one of two ways – you either succeed or you learn something valuable. Not a bad deal at all. Repeating the same mistake over and over without eventually learning from it is the only true error.

Truth #5 – Life is too short not to appreciate it.

You are truly a fortunate creature – given an authentically unique existence that nobody else will ever experience. Regardless of the circumstances facing you, there are small things in your life to be grateful for. Life always has its beautiful moments, even if they go unrecognized some of the time.

The best advice here is to try and be mindful and present in every situation. For example, if you are eating dinner with your family, only eat dinner with your family. Turn the TV off, put away the smartphone, and just appreciate your loved ones while enjoying a meal. Whatever the situation is, just be present.

Truth #6 – You have gifts that no one else does.

Our society is a hyper-competitive one. It’s all about the next deal, money, promotions, a bigger house, a nicer car, more education, more overtime… it may feel you are chasing a train on a never-ending track. The result of this mentality being ingrained into your being is that you end up feeling inadequate or shortchanged in some way.

But remember – you are different. You have different strengths and intricate abilities that truly no one else has. So when you find yourself playing a circus game with Life as the evil carnie, take a few moments to remember (even write down) your truly unique abilities and be grateful for them.

Truth #7 – Love is the most precious part of our existence.

The most important, simple truth of them all and one that can be easily taken for granted. At the end of your journey, what is going to matter the most to you? The response is simple for the vast majority of us – the time we spent with the ones we love.  All of the possessions in the world won’t hold a stick to the moments you spent (being present!) with the people who love you unconditionally. In the end, truly nothing else matters.

Do something your future self will thank you for and take some time each day to remember #7. Then, be with your loved ones as if nothing else in the world exists …for as long as you can.

YOUR TURN:  What simple truths have you held with you in life that make it flow more easily?  Share in the discussion below!

Without question, happy people stand out among us. Regardless of what they are doing at the moment, happy people always seem to be positive, energetic, and joyful. Happy people live, act, and speak much differently than their less positive counterparts.

But it’s not just what the happy people do that sets them apart. It’s what they rarely do that truly makes them unique (we say “rarely” here because we can’t be perfect but we CAN strive toward excellence daily).  Simply put – the self-control and self-awareness that positive and happy people display is truly something to behold…they make it look so easy.  So what do happy people avoid?

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” – Gandhi

Here are 7 things happy people rarely do:

1. Happy people rarely… seek approval or validation from others.

Happy people are content to be themselves… in fact, they love themselves unashamedly and unabashedly. This self-love manifests itself in approval and validation – making it unnecessary to seek either from externalities – namely, people.

Truth be told, many of us place way too much emphasis on what others think about us; so much emphasis, that seeking approval or validation from others becomes an addiction. But here’s the bottom line: we can only be the best people we can be, not everyone is going to view us in a positive light, and being you, while showing true character, is the fastest way to earning respect.

2. Happy people rarely…depend on other people, places, or things for happiness.

Speaking of externalities… happy people don’t depend on people or material possessions for their own happiness. In making a conscious decision to remove possessions, money, people, and circumstances out of the equation, happiness is derived and experienced from simply being and loving yourself.

Concisely stated – happiness is a mindset. A mindset is something that is learned, acquired, and put into practice. Our mindset has absolutely nothing to do with external influences…it can only be influenced if we let it.

3. Happy people rarely… play the victim. Rather, they play the victor.

Happy people and the victim mentality do not jive. The reason is because the happy among us have a mindset of victory and fortitude. In other words, happy people depend on the power they know they have to come out victorious. This is not to say that they won’t experience bumps and bruises, disappointments and failures along the way… they just don’t let it get the best of them.

Here’s a nice, easy formula to remember: inner happiness = inner strength. Happy people are strong mentally; winning the battle against whatever internal or external opposition that happens to confront them.

4. Happy people rarely… live in the past, nor worry about the future.

Right now, there are people all around us with innately unique gifts to offer the world and make it a better place… truly gifted people that have so much to give. But they won’t. They won’t because of mistakes made in their past and can’t let them go for whatever reason. This is a tragic reality of the world we live in: some people will never realize their rightful future because they can’t see anything beyond their past.

To be truly happy and realize our potential, we must not live in the past nor worry much about the future. The past is just that…an old event – an event that has no real significance to the true character inside.

5. Happy people rarely…hold onto grudges.

In holding onto the “past,” grudges are another unfortunate result of doing so. These grudges can be within us or with others. The disappointment that results by making a decision that you regret, or disappointment from someone having wronged you is normal. The problem is when we hold onto these grudges for too long.

The answer lies in forgiveness – of ourselves and of others. We cannot turn back the clock to make different decisions, nor can we alter the motives of people who have wronged us. The most powerful thing that we can do recognize the error or affront, accept it, grow and learn from it, and let it go by forgiving yourself or someone else.

6. Happy people rarely… live dishonestly.

To live an honest life takes an incredible amount of courage, fortitude, and character. Why? Because our world has become embraced an altered reality – one in which lying is simply something that “everyone does.”

Regardless of what others may think, dishonesty is toxic because it completely skews our understanding of what is real, good, and normal. When we live in a society that accepts lying as the norm, we are susceptible to its influence. As happy people, we must remember that truth is natural, truth is real (by definition, too!), and truth is good in all situations.

 7. Happy people rarely…accept negative environments.

Our environment has a significant effect on our mindset. We must not allow our environments to disturb our right to inner happiness and peace.

Toxic people and toxic environments just exude negativity. Try walking into a place where everyone there hates their job – the bad aura and atmosphere quickly resonate. The same thing goes for people and places that continuously embrace a negative mindset.

By remaining positive and respectful with all people, you may indeed be helping change their outlook on life and bring some hope. Remain mindful that everyone has a story, and some people may be experiencing some hardship that you are unaware of. Also, remain mindful that you have a right to be positive and happy…when someone or somewhere begins to negatively impact this, you have the right to walk away if you so choose.

What do you try not to do to remain happy in your own life?

To feel as if you are a victim of your own thoughts is not a pleasant experience. Being barraged by a seemingly endless stream of negative thoughts is both exhausting and potentially even dangerous to your physical and mental health.

“The Buddhists have a great term for these (thought) excesses. They refer to them as the condition of “monkey mind.” A person in the throes of money mind suffers from a consciousness whose constituent parts will not stop bouncing from skull-side to skull-side, which keep flipping and jumping and flinging feces at the walls and swinging from loose neurons like howlers from vines…” – Daniel Smith, author of ‘Monkey Mind: A Memoir of Anxiety’

Regardless of what you may think about Buddha or the philosophy of his teachings, he was perhaps the most brilliant psychologist to have ever lived. Long before medication, cognitive therapy, and psychoanalysis, the Buddha was writing and teaching about the human mind with brilliant insight and wisdom.

A core tenant of his teachings was that of a “monkey mind,” describing (accurately) the fact that the human mind can be compared to that of drunken monkeys, where our thoughts are constantly chattering while jumping around aimlessly and endlessly.

These thoughts include those of a negative nature – fear, anxiety and worry among them. Negative thoughts, if prevalent and ceaseless, can indeed sabotage your life. Fortunately, there are some positive practices that will detoxify these drunken monkeys and put them back in their place.

Here are 5 different ways that you can keep negative thoughts from sabotaging your life.

1. Remember that your negative thoughts are automatic.

This cannot be stressed enough. When you are faced with an uncomfortable or undesirable situation, the responses that you often have inside your own mind are frequently automatic. In other words, you really don’t control them – but you do control the reaction that you have. We are going to discuss some specific practices below.

2.  Don’t fight your negative thoughts

Here’s something to remember: you cannot get rid of negative thoughts by engaging in a mental battle with them. These thoughts are not true anyways, so what’s the use in fighting something that is imaginary?

Here’s an analogy: consider a tabloid article about a celebrity engaging in their latest extramarital affair. Out of curiosity, you read the article’s outrageous claims and determine that there is no validity to it. The article is completely biased, its contents exaggerated and taken out of context. With no intent to buy, you put the tabloid and its useless drivel back on the shelf, shake your head, and just move on with your day. While inexplicably enticing, it provides nothing true, important or useful.
Same thing applies to your negative thoughts. It’s tabloid material for your mind.

3. Keep yourself and your thoughts productive

When you do something productive and of value, you are significantly decreasing the possibility of negative thoughts arising. After all, you are doing something enjoyable while realizing the inner fruits of your labor.

Have you ever heard the phrase “The idle mind is the Devil’s workshop?” You don’t need to be of any religious orientation or belief system to understand that remaining idle makes you vulnerable to negative thoughts and feelings. After all, you have a lot of time to think…too much time in many cases.

Read a book, write, listen to music, or check off something on your to-do list. Whatever you do, try to keep your mind engaged in something of value to you.

4. Be aware of the company you keep.

Outside of yourself, the presence of others is the most powerful influence on your thoughts. Therefore, stay away from people who are consistently negative and downtrodden. These types of people will drain your energy, lower your guard, and make you susceptible to negative thoughts and feelings.

In some cases, you may need to work with people like this. If so, limit your interaction to strictly business and nothing else. If these individuals insist on interacting with you, politely state that you have something to do – even if it’s checking the email on your phone). And, if necessary, verbalize your concerns and tell them (politely, but with firmness) that you are trying to keep a positive mindset and that their presence makes it difficult.

While certainly not the easiest thing to do, being straightforward and honest will get negative people thinking about their behavior, while potentially resulting in them making some positive changes. If nothing else, they will limit their interactions with you.

5. Stop procrastinating

Being human, many of us have the tendency to put thyesings off until absolutely necessary. While this tendency is certainly unproductive, procrastination also allows negative thoughts to creep in. These negative thoughts are often a by-product of guilt – you know what you need to do, you have the time to do it, yet you choose not to in favor of engaging in something more interesting.

To stop procrastinating requires both self-discipline and self-awareness. You must learn to control your impulses and redirect your energy towards the task at hand. Further, you must be aware of the fact that immediate gratification is really not gratifying at all. Instead, it produces weakness of character while managing to stunt your ambitions.

In closing…

If you have read the article to this point, you obviously have the mindset of a proactive individual and desire to rid yourself of negative thoughts. Good for you!

While getting rid of all negative thoughts may indeed be impossible, you can take some of the action steps mentioned in this article to drastically reduce their presence. Remember, you are not your negative thoughts. If nothing else, absorb this fact, commit it to memory, and repeat it every time you find a negative thought arising within your mind.

Never, ever let negative thoughts derail you from living the fruitful, happy life that you so deserve.
We hope that you all stay productive, healthy, and encouraged as you continue on in your life’s journey – each and every day.

From the moment you are brought into the world, you develop relationships. With your parents, siblings, near and distant relatives, students, spouse, friends, co-workers. Of course, the list goes on. Something else that we all have in common – we want to have healthy and happy relationships. You desire to have people in your life that appreciate who you are and to whom you can reciprocate those feelings.

“Truth is, I’ll never know all there is to know about you just as you will never know all there is to know about me. Humans are by nature too complicated to be understood fully. So, we can choose either to approach our fellow human beings with suspicion or to approach them with an open mind, a dash of optimism and a great deal of candor.”  – Tom Hanks

As you mature, you begin to realize the close connection that we have with our fellow human beings. This deep, personal connection that we establish with each other makes us unique and truly fortunate beings. As with nearly everything else that exists within the human existence, relationships are also complex and diverse – good or bad, deep or distant, intimate or friendly, and even loving or hateful.

Here are eleven things that you can start doing to make your relationships with others more accepting, trusting, peaceful and loving.

1. Accept people how they are

Genetic makeup is complex and certainly beyond the scope of this article. Suffice to say, human beings are amazingly different. We come from different places; have different personalities, minds, character traits, beliefs, and behaviors. We look different, act different, talk different, and live differently.

So, why is it that many are still so unaccepting of other people? When will we realize that diversity contributes to the fabric of our society and is not a burden, but a strength? By accepting people as they are and not trying to change them, you are indeed contributing to the peaceful and healthy existence of our world.

2. Be your natural, imperfect self

Accepting yourself is just as important as accepting others. There is no need to act differently than how you are designed or how you wish to act. When others make a joke at your expense for being different, make a joke about them trying to be like everyone else. Conformity is not strength, but a weakness of character.

You cannot and will not impress everyone, nor should you make the attempt. You are not designed to befriend everyone around you, only those who truly deserve your friendship.

3. Give those you don’t know a chance

In our society, it can be especially difficult to be non-judgmental when it comes to others. Just remember, everyone has a past and nobody can change the hand that they were dealt in life.

The beautiful thing is that everyone you meet has a unique story to tell. This story may be happy, sad, extraordinary or typical. But one fact remains: you should give everyone that you haven’t gotten to know a fair chance, without judgment and without criticism.

4. Show everyone respect

Not everyone deserves your respect but you deserve to give it regardless. You give respect because it’s ingrained in your character to demonstrate your strength of character to your fellow man, not necessarily out of their virtue, but your own.

By accepting people who are different from you, you are showing respect – respect for their differences both good and bad, respectful for their presence, and respect for their rightful place among the rest us. And, most importantly, respect yourself!

5. Be truthful with others

Perhaps nothing strengthens relationships more than being honest with everyone. On the flip side, perhaps nothing weakens (even ruins) relationships more than being deceitful. This includes any kind of “white lie” or any other method of clouding the true meaning behind your words and actions.

If you promise something, keep your word – at home, work, or anywhere else. Don’t create a slippery slope of telling mistruths, however “innocent” they may be. The important thing is that you know the truth and its importance.

6. Forgive people and move on

Forgiving someone is much easier than living with disdain or hate in your heart. It is as much, if not more, about your mental wellbeing than it is about disregarding someone’s affront, however severe it may be.
Forgiveness is important because it opens your heart and mind to placing trust in others.

Having unresolved problems with someone else can lead to the misplaced conception that people as a whole cannot be trusted. Don’t undeservingly do this to yourself or anyone else.

7. Recognize and remember your real friends

Not everyone you associate with or who you consider “a friend” is truly your friend. As with many aspects of our outlook on life, recognition and appreciation of true friendship grow as we mature. We place less emphasis on having a wide circle of friends and more on the depth of those friendships.

You will recognize your true friends in how steadfast they are in remaining by your side.

8. Always be loyal

Be loyal to the people who matter to you the most, including your real friends. Loyalty is not so much about being inseparable as it is being true to those that matter the most to you, regardless of circumstance.

As with having real friends, having those who are truly loyal to you is an incredible gift. If you are loyal to people, many times this loyalty is returned in favor.

9. Stay in touch with those you care about

As you move on, live your life and experience new adventures, there are going to be times when remaining in touch with those you love and care about becomes difficult. Despite this difficulty, you should make the attempt to stay in contact with those who love and care about you.

This can be as simple as a text message or an email – both show that you are thinking about the person. As the old adage goes: “it’s the thought that counts” and this is certainly true in the relationships that matter the most to you.

10. Keep your promises

Many people nowadays both give and accept promises in more of a casual, uncertain manner. Make no mistake – promises are sacred. Basically, you are giving your word while putting your character on display for someone else to critique.

You need to keep your promises as much for your own sake as for the individual to whom you gave your word. Remain mindful of the promises you make and the effects that delivering, or not delivering on your word has in how people view your character.

11. Let go those who have gone

We rarely lose our real friends and lovers; rather we recognize who the real ones are. When someone departs from your life, there is probably a reason that their role in your life story is over.

When people walk away from you, let them walk. Another special and true relationship is waiting out there for you to discover.