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5 Steps to Increase Empathy, According to Psychology

November 22, 2022 by Kristen Lawrence

Empathy allows us to step into someone else’s shoes and understand how they feel. It’s a skill that everyone should have, as being able to relate to others reduces conflict and enhances relationships. Of course, some people naturally have more empathy than others due to genetics, upbringing, and life experiences. This shortfall doesn’t mean you can’t learn to become more empathetic if you’re not already, though.

When you have empathy for others, you see things through their perspective and want to support them however you can. You can put your own opinions aside for a moment and listen to the other person without bias. Empaths provide light in a dark world due to their selflessness, genuine care for others, and ability to see into people’s hearts.

5 Steps to Understanding Others and Increasing Empathy

It’s rare to meet someone who can understand people on a deep level, but when you do, it changes you. You wonder how they developed this gift and may even wish to become more empathetic. Luckily, even the most guarded among us can open our hearts again with a few simple steps.

1 – First, you must have empathy for yourself.

Before you can understand other people, you have to know and accept yourself. Life acts as a mirror, so what we perceive in others reflects our inner world. So, if you genuinely want to become more empathetic, start with the person in the mirror. Forgive yourself for any past mistakes or wrongdoings, practice self-care, and accept where you are in this moment. You’re ready to extend this love to others when you can love yourself fully, scars and all.

2 – Practice mindful listening.

For this step, it’s important to quiet your mind so that your internal dialogue doesn’t get in the way while listening to others. When we don’t train our minds, they tend to wander and have difficulty focusing on the present moment. However, if you want to empathize with others, you need an unbiased, clear mind. Meditation can assist with this goal since it helps you become more self-aware and calms the mind.

So, imagine that someone comes up to you and needs advice about something. In today’s world, many people have forgotten the art of mindful listening and tend to interject with their points of view. Or, they’re distracted the whole time by their phones or even inner thoughts. If you want to increase empathy, you must block out all stimuli and become immersed in the here and now. After all, where else can you be but in the present?

With this in mind, take a few deep breaths and allow any distracting thoughts to dissipate. Tell yourself that only listening to your fellow human being matters at the moment. Everything else can wait until later, but this person truly needs your help right now. With this attitude of being mindful and putting others first, you’re well to become more empathetic.

3 – Open your heart.

Showing empathy isn’t just about actively listening to others when talking. It mainly involves feeling, which comes from the heart. However, there isn’t a formula or instruction manual for opening your heart because it must come from within you. You have to feel a strong desire to help others and start seeing fellow humans as an extension of yourself. When you can see yourself in all beings and love them as you love yourself, you naturally become more selfless. You realize that what benefits you also uplifts others, so you want to spread that positive energy whenever possible.

Meditation can also help you remove any barriers to love and help you feel that oneness with other people. We all share the same connection; it’s only an illusion that we’re different somehow. Specifically, loving-kindness meditation helps you develop compassion and unconditional love for every human.

Sit quietly in a meditation pose and extend love to yourself to practice it. Say a mantra such as “I am enough” or “I love myself unconditionally.” Then, imagine friends and family, and repeat the mantra with them as the subject this time. Move your awareness into your heart center, and imagine sending love to your relatives. Then, extend this love to all life. After practicing for several weeks, you’ll start feeling more openhearted and cheerful, as this study on loving-kindness meditators shows.

4 – Engage in random acts of kindness.

One of the best ways to enhance your empathy is to volunteer or help others without asking for anything in return. Whether you spend a few hours on weekends volunteering at your local soup kitchen or distributing warm clothes to the unsheltered, helping people put things into perspective. Your problems don’t seem as important when you’re focused on improving others’ lives, even in a small way.

5 – Allow yourself to become vulnerable.

Making connections with others isn’t just about listening when they speak. If you want to show more empathy, it helps to talk about difficult emotions or experiences to build trust with people. When they see that you’re comfortable with yourself and don’t feel ashamed of your feelings, they’ll take the cue to let their guard down.

Being on the receiving end of empathy helps you become more understanding. When you’re witnessing the value of kindness firsthand, you see how it can change someone’s life.

Final Thoughts on Developing a Keener Sense of Empathy

Empathy doesn’t come naturally to everyone, but hopefully, these tips will help you in your quest to show more compassion. Even if you’re a logical, straightforward person who doesn’t quite understand emotions, empathy isn’t challenging to learn. Simply volunteering in your community can help you connect with others and show you the benefits of compassion.

You can also practice active listening with your loved ones, which will help you become more selfless. When you witness others’ lives improving because of your empathy, it instills self-confidence and breaks down the walls between you and others. Kindness can significantly impact other people, and it all begins with how we treat ourselves.

4 Ways to Rewire Your Brain for Positive Thinking

November 22, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

Here’s how to release negativity and find your happiness.

Are you a bit of a pessimist? Do you tend to have a cynical view of life? Are you often caught up in negative feelings, thoughts, and sensations that ruin your day? It doesn’t have to be that way! Indeed, it is time to rewire your brain and reclaim your happiness.

You can change how you experience the world around you and experience an incredible mental transformation. How? It all starts with changing your brain’s subconscious action. Here are four ways to rewire your brain for positive thinking.

1. Rewire Your Brain By Changing Your Interactions With Negativity

To rewire your brain for positivity, you must first deal with existing and recurring negativity. Before you can implant better ways of thinking, you must remove what is taking up your capacity. As such, how you interact with various negative inputs is the first thing you need to change. Here are some ways to do that!

· Flip The Negative To The Positive

You’ve spent years naturally consuming and believing in negative thoughts. It’s time to flip that switch and rewire your brain! When you start thinking negatively, pause and twist them around to the positive. You can do this by picking out small silver linings in negative moments or totally distracting yourself with happier thoughts. You can also respond to your negative reviews with a positive counterpoint. For example, if you think you’ll never succeed due to a lack of skill, remind yourself of the many times you’ve showcased your capabilities. Or you can respond by asking yourself how to build your skills, and creative, productive thought instead.

· Release Negativity

It’s one thing to validate and process negativity, which is fine. But it’s an entirely different to hoard and relive negative thoughts again and again! Dwelling on these thoughts and emotions causes them to build up, and that rumination can become a self-fulling prophecy. It can even start to change your personality, making you excessively cynical or anxious. That’s why knowing that it’s okay to let go of negativity and take back control of your mind is crucial. You don’t need to hold on to every wrong thought or experience you have! Don’t let them drag you down. When you have a negative idea, take a breather to consider whether it is productive or helpful. If it isn’t, visualize throwing it away and moving on!

· Challenge Negativity With Reality

Not everyone can manage to be optimistic all the time. Realism is much more feasible for tackling negativity! To rewire your brain, gunning for rationality and logic helps to correct yourself. Ground yourself in reality by reminding yourself of how unlikely your catastrophizing thoughts are. Think about all the times that things turned out okay despite your fears. Or consider how you have survived various adverse circumstances and learned from them. Remember your capabilities and ask yourself if your thoughts are productive, realistic, or helpful. If they’re not, they need a good dose of reality immediately!

2. Rewire Your Brain Building More Gratitude

Did you know that gratitude is one of the most powerful traits you can develop? It has a unique research-backed way of predicting a happier and healthier life. The more grateful you are, the more comfortable you’ll be in the long run!

This outcome is why gratitude can be a great tool to use as you rewire your brain. It’s also a self-perpetuating cycle. The more grateful you are, the more you find happiness in the world around you. The happier you feel, the more grateful you become! This cultivates a long-term good attitude towards the world and life. You can rewire your brain toward happiness by proxy! You can practice gratitude to do in the following ways:

· Count Every Single Blessing

There are many things you can be appreciative of in life, but they often go overlooked. Instead of taking your blessings for granted, count every single one of them with a smile. Think about the roof over your head, the people you care about, and the things you enjoy about life. Consider how much you love your favorite music, food, and movies. Express your thanks for how pleasant the sun’s warmth feels early in the morning and how your coffee mug fits right in your hands. Don’t be picky about appreciation! Romanticize your life and all its little details.

· Volunteer and Perform Acts Of Service

Acts of compassion and service grant you insight into the worlds and lives of others. These moments teach you valuable lessons in perspective and can help you step outside yourself. You’ll rewire your brain as you learn to be grateful for what you have and your ability to help others! It’s pretty foolproof: studies have found that those who volunteer regularly enjoy better life satisfaction and happiness!

· Rewire Your Brain By Saying “Thank You” More Often

It’s basic manners to thank those who help you or do something for you. But how often do you say it with true, genuine meaning? Give those around you more thankful acknowledgment. Everyone from your spouse to the barista who makes your drinks deserves appreciation. This builds your gratitude bit by bit, as you get to practice the skill and habit of being grateful in everyday life.

· Actively Seek Out The Good In The World

There are tens upon tens of good things for every bad thing in the world. All you have to do is open your eyes and seek them out! Look around you and be determined to find things that make you smile. This rule also applies to complex or negative experiences. You can take the time to process them while also finding silver linings to be grateful for. Once you know how to see the light, your brain will be rewired even in the darkest of times. All other forms of positive thinking will come much more quickly!

3. Give Yourself Things To Be Motivated And Inspired By

It’s hard for anyone to rewire your brain if you have nothing to drive you forward. If you already struggle with positive thinking, your internal motivation may require some supplementation! You can find positive and healthy forms of external motivation in various sources as you train your mind for positivity. Here are some forms to seek out:

· Create Goals to Help Rewire Your Brain Toward Happiness

Goals are a great form of motivation, especially when they’re easily measured and tracked. Find things that drive you forward in a direction you want to go and make goals in line with them. Break huge goals down into smaller milestones and celebrate whenever you achieve one. Opt for realistic expectations that still make you feel challenged!

· Look To Inspirational Things

Tons of sources of inspiration could fill you with passion and drive. So find those things to be inspired by! The world lacks inspiring things, whether from prominent figures, art, fiction, media, or loved ones. Use these things as motivation to spur you forward to find the happiness that lies dormant within your soul.

· Surround Yourself With Good People

Your social circle can be a huge source of motivation. Supportive and encouraging friends and loved ones can hold you accountable and uplift you as you rewire your brain. Don’t have a big social circle? Join clubs, support groups, and non-profit organizations of like-minded individuals!

4. Practice Meditation to Rewire Your Brain

Meditation is a powerful way to control your mind and emotions. It’s a highly effective method to rewire an anxious brain, according to research, and can teach you to release negativity. It helps you regulate your feelings and allows you to sit with your thoughts and interpret them well.

There are numerous ways to meditate, most of which involve acts of mindfulness. In other words, most meditative formats require some degree of groundedness. They work their magic by teaching you to remain present as an audience rather than a slave of your thoughts. Some standard meditation methods and tools that can rewire your brain for happiness and positive thinking are:

· Witness Consciousness

Witness consciousness has its roots in mindfulness but is often used in meditation. It involves “witnessing” your feelings, thoughts, and sensory input as they pass through your consciousness. The point is to treat them like clouds floating over your head, so you don’t interact with them in any way other than as their witness.

This allows you to reach a point where negative events and thoughts don’t overwhelmingly affect you. You separate yourself from your feelings, sensations, and beliefs, recognizing them as yours but not as a definition of you. This can rewire your brain to a state of healthy and reasonable detachment.

· Body Scan

A body scan is an engaged meditative practice. You begin in a neutral and comfortable position. This could be lying down with your palms up or sitting with your feet flat against the floor. You stay as still as possible and focus on awareness of your natural breath. Then, you slowly move your attention from one part of your body to the next, using each element to receive and process sensory input. Typically, you go from your toes and work your way up slowly to your head. As you go, you note the sensations each part experiences and any unusual states of them. This keeps you grounded and relieves stress, bringing you closer awareness of your body’s reactions to your environment.

· Visualization Can Help Rewire Your Brain

Did you know that the human subconscious often struggles to distinguish fantasy from reality? While you may see what you imagine isn’t true, the brain processes it as if it were fact and stores it as accurate. This is why numerous studies have touted the benefits of meditation for improving emotional resilience and training more optimistic thought patterns.

When you imagine positive things, your brain begins to internalize those thoughts, considering them real. Immerse yourself in an imagined situation that you’d like to be in and utilize creative, vivid details to make it feel more natural. For example, you might imagine yourself succeeding at something you’re anxious about or impressively showcasing your capabilities. Your subconscious will begin to believe those things about you!

Final Thoughts On Some Ways To Rewire Your Brain For Positive Thinking

Anyone can rewire their brain for positive thinking. All it takes is some work to change your interactions with negativity and some healthy meditative, mindful practices. Plus, with extra gratitude, motivation, and inspiration, you’ll be spurred toward positivity and happiness at an even more productive rate!

Psychology Explains Why Happily Ever After Is a Mindset

November 21, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

You’re probably used to hearing about people talking about their happy ever after in movies. But in real life, that doesn’t seem to happen, right? It seems like every time you find someone in real life. Something happens that ruins everything. You see many people you think of as potential partners throughout your life, but something always seems to get between you.

Because of all these failed relationships, people have started to believe that there is no way they could ever find someone to spend their life is. But that’s not the case. The idea of happily ever after is more about your mindset than being influenced by externalities. If you romanticize this concept, you will set yourself up for failure.

If you believe that happily ever after only happens when you meet your soulmate, you will end up disappointed. But having a happily ever after isn’t all rainbows and butterflies. It’s about being able to find someone that you want to fight for through thick and thin. Just because the media frames the concept in a fair-tale way, it doesn’t mean you should too.

How To Control The Happily Ever After Mindset

You have control over how you frame it for yourself. For some, happily ever after might not even include a partner. For others, it’s about finding that one person who will stick by your side even when things are hard. But no matter how you want to define it, you still have control over it.

1. Be Proactive In Seeking Your Happily Ever After

Happily ever after is not something that falls from the sky. No matter how much you might be told that your Prince Charming will show up out of nowhere, that doesn’t happen in reality. You won’t just bump into your perfect match while in line at the grocery store. And if you don’t do something proactive to find that happiness, it won’t just come to you.

To find happiness and love, you need to be proactive. You need to put yourself out there and be open to finding love. Of course, you will fail a few times before finding the right person, but that’s part of the journey. Still, as long as you remain passive and you lock yourself in the house, you won’t find reasons for happiness. You need to go out and meet like-minded people.

Be social, talk to people, make an effort to get to know them. Don’t just dismiss them because they don’t seem perfect at first glance. In reality, the best partner for you isn’t even the one who seems perfect. There isn’t even such a thing as being perfect. The best partner is someone you can communicate with openly and who will understand you no matter what.

If you put yourself out there, you increase your chances of finding true happiness. That’s how you take control of your life; by giving yourself opportunities to succeed. Opportunities don’t create themselves. You have to get out there and seize them.

2. Let Go Of Preconceived Notions About What Happily Ever After Looks Like

You probably already know that everyone has a type in love and dating. You probably have a type yourself. When you go to a club, intending to meet people, there is always one type of person who catches your eye, while you ignore everyone else. This is even more obvious when you sign up on a dating sign. Be honest, how often have you swiped someone right solely because of the pictures? And how many times did you swipe because of the bio, or at least consider it?

The honest answer is that you mainly look at the pictures. But think about the impact of having preconceived notions. Just imagine how many people you dismissed just because they didn’t look right. Or even if you didn’t ignore them because of looks, you probably dismissed them because of how they talk or where they work.

If you want to be in control of what your happily ever after looks like, you need to let go of rigid preconceptions. Of course, it’s perfectly ok not to want to date someone violent, for example. But you shouldn’t exclude people because they don’t have blue eyes or blonde hair. If you become more open-minded, allow yourself to be surprised by people. And even if you don’t end up meeting your soulmate, you will still meet people who will make your life better.

3. Communicate

No matter how easy relationships might seem in stories, they are never that easy in reality. You won’t just be on the same page as your partner no matter what. You won’t always have the same views, wants, and needs. And, most importantly, you will never be able to read each other’s minds. Maybe you will find the most amazing person ever. But if you don’t know how to communicate with them, you won’t get your happily ever after.

If you want to live a happy life, you need to meet your needs. But it would help if you also learned to give. And there’s no way you can give your partner what they truly need if you don’t listen to them. You might think that giving them space is something you should always do in a relationship. But some people don’t want that space all the time.

Sometimes they need to have you around more. And the same goes for you and your needs. Maybe they think that surprising you with a pet is charming, but that might not be what you want. Even if you act objectively correct, that doesn’t mean you are good to each other. If you don’t communicate on every vital topic and don’t set boundaries and needs, your relationship won’t be strong.

But you can always control how openly you communicate. You always have the choice to start a conversation, to share your needs and issues. And if your partner doesn’t reciprocate, that means they’re not the right one for you.

4. Be Present As You Seek Happily Ever After

If you want to get your happily ever after, you can’t waste all your life waiting for it. To control your life and happiness, you need to live in the moment. The present is the time that gives you joy and opportunities. It allows you to grow and live. If you get stuck in the past or think about the future, you will miss all life’s wonders. And you will miss your opportunity to meet the right person for you.

Living happily ever after always seems like something that will happen in the past. But you can be happily ever after now. You can take every day in stride and enjoy every little moment of happiness. You can be happily ever after, even without a partner. If you decide that your present is your moment to shine, your life will become happier. Of course, you can still set intentions for the future and have goals.

But that doesn’t mean you should condition your happiness on those goals. If you don’t find someone soon, that doesn’t mean you are not worthy of love or having a good life. And the present is the thing you have the most control over. Certain actions will influence your future, but it’s still uncertain. The only certainty you have is the present, and you should always focus on it. The happier you are now, the more comfortable you can be.

5. Love Yourself Until You Meet That Special Someone

Because life can be so uncertain, you should never base your happiness on someone or something else. Sure, finding another person to share your life with is very nice. Having someone by your side feels comforting. But the only certainty you have is yourself. You will always have yourself, and you will always seek happiness on the inside. Sometimes, happily ever after means loving yourself unconditionally and being content with your past.

Many people struggle with low self-esteem mental health issues. If you are, too, it’s a sign you need to put yourself first. True happiness can only be found if you love yourself. Otherwise, your happiness will always depend on external factors if you don’t fix your issues. If you don’t like yourself, you won’t be happy unless you have someone making you feel better about yourself.

And when that person’s gone, you won’t be able to find any joy in your life. Plus, if you don’t love yourself, you won’t properly love someone else. It would be best if you took the time to reflect on your issues. Talk to people about what you’re going through, and do the work to better self-perception. Even go to therapy if you need help. Practice self-care whenever it’s possible.

Pamper yourself, take yourself out, get used to finding happiness even if you are alone. If you can do that, you will find your happily ever after.

Final Thoughts On Why Happily Ever After Is a Mindset We Control

Happily ever after is a concept that everyone strives towards. People want to be happy, they want to find true love, and they want to have the certainty that their future will be filled with joy. But, because of how it’s portrayed in media, most people don’t believe they can ever achieve it.

How could they ever have a life without problems, in which everything is rainbow and sunshine? Well, you don’t need to have a problem-free life to find your happily ever after. Happily ever after is simply a mindset that you have complete control over. It’s a subjective matter that can mean anything, depending on how you frame it. For some, it means being alone but content with yourself. For others, it’s starting a family and having a life partner.

And you can control your happily ever after if you put your mind to it. Be proactive and search for opportunities. Let go of expectations and preconceived notions. Learn to communicate with the people in your life. And, most importantly, learn to love yourself.

12 Ways to Use Mantras for a Positive Life

November 21, 2022 by Sarah Barkley

When you think about the power of mantras in your life, you might not know what to envision. Or, you might visualize a specific scenario that you must set up to recite your mantras. However, surprisingly, there are many ways you can put the power of mantras to work in your life.

You can focus on positivity and affirmations no matter where you are or what you’re doing. At any moment, you can take some time to recite powerful mantras aloud or in your mind. Saying them out loud is the best option, but they are effective when repeated internally, as well.

A positive mantra can drown out any chaos and stress surrounding you. Plus, it can help you refocus and think about the crucial things in your life. Mantras can help you manifest positivity and ease rage, fear, or anxiety.

Twelve Effective Ways to Use Mantras Throughout Your Day

If you want to get started using mantras or get better at using them, these tips can help. When you learn ways to put the power of mantras to work in your life, you’ll quickly notice a change. You don’t need much time to say them, and you can make them fit your routine and lifestyle.

1. Use The Power of Mantras as You Start Your Day

As you prepare for the day, make sure to implement positive mantras in your routine. If you often lay in bed after your alarm goes off, consider using that time to repeat your mantras. Then, as you get out of bed and start your morning routine, you can keep the positivity running through your mind.

Each time you start a new task of your morning routine, repeat the mantra. As you do this, you set yourself up for positivity, and your mind believes the words you say. Plus, using the phrase throughout your routine will keep it in your mind all day, too.

2. Repeat Them During Your Workout

If you work out every day, it is the perfect time to put the power of mantras to work in your life. No matter what kind of exercise you do, you can create positivity as you do it. When you’re working out, you tend to be more mindful, allowing your mind to embrace the words.

Positive phrases during your workout shift your mindset and help you focus on positivity. Plus, you can use affirmations to encourage yourself throughout the exercise. You can use them as a reminder of your strength and determination to become healthier.

3. Repeat Mantras Three Times a Day

If you want mantras to work for you, you’ll likely have to do them more than once each day. When you make it a regular habit in your life, the mantras will begin to come to your mind naturally. Start by doing them in the morning, again in the afternoon, and before you go to bed each night.

You don’t have to set aside three separate times to repeat mantras, either. You can do them anytime, no matter where you are. Another idea is to learn how to write mantras specific to your life and needs.

4. Choose Mantras That Help You Realize Your Value

Even the most confident people lose their sense of value sometimes. When your negative thoughts and self-criticism threaten to bring you down, shift your mindset. Choose affirmations that remind you of your worth so that you can feel confident throughout the day.

You can strengthen your self-worth by focusing on positive mantras that target your talents and skills. Choose phrases that resonate with you and help you become the person that you want to be. You can also use them to give yourself a confidence boost before an event or potentially uncomfortable situation.

5. Use The Power of Mantras During Unexpected Moments of Solitude

You don’t have to wait for a specific time of day to repeat your mantras. If you ever find yourself with an unexpected moment of silence and solitude, use it as a chance to refocus. You can repeat the affirmations aloud or in your head, as long as you focus on the words.

Whether your kids finally fall asleep or you have a minute alone in your office, utilize the time wisely. Sometimes even a few moments of solitude in the bathroom is all that you need to regroup. Focus on your thoughts and words, and allow your mind to embrace the phrase.

6. Repeat Them When You Experience Negative Thoughts

Everyone experiences negative thoughts sometimes, but you must overcome them. Whenever you feel negativity creeping in, take a few minutes to repeat your favorite positive mantras. If you’re prone to negativity while driving, consider taping an affirmation to your dashboard as a reminder.

Likewise, if you experience negative thoughts at work, keep a few positive phrases where you can always see them. You might even want to use them when you know you’ll be around someone that makes you feel bad about yourself. When you use mantras during times of negativity, they help you take back control of your life.

7. Use the Power of Mantras During Your Bedtime Routine

When you use mantras during your morning routine, it sets you up for positivity all day. However, using mantras at night can set you up for peaceful sleep. When you fall asleep with a positive mindset, you’ll sleep more restfully, allowing you to feel better in the morning.

Begin repeating the mantras at the start of your bedtime routine. With each new task, repeat them until they’re running through your mind without thinking about it. Find some mantras that help bring feelings of peace and calm to help you sleep better at night.

8. Say the Mantras as You Lay in Bed

Saying mantras at bedtime helps you fall asleep quicker. While saying them during your bedtime routine is beneficial, you will also benefit from them as you lay in bed. If you ever find that you lay awake at night thinking about things you can’t control right then, then this tip is perfect for you.

One way to put the power of mantras to work in your life is by reflecting on what you’re grateful for. By doing this as you lay in bed, you’ll help yourself fall asleep with thoughts of things and people you love.

9. Repeat Mantras to Help You Achieve Goals

Achieving your life goals can make all the difference in your happiness and contentedness in life. If you feel like you aren’t making progress, it could bring you down and cause negativity. Mantras help you keep moving and stay dedicated to your ultimate goals.

Anytime you feel defeated or overwhelmed, remember your favorite positive mantras. Choose a few that make you want to persevere and push through hardships and obstacles. If you can shift your mindset with a mantra, you’ll be on your way to achieving all of your goals.

10. Use The Power of Mantras to Overcome Feeling Disappointed

If you’ve ever experienced disappointment, then you know it can be hard to overcome. Sometimes all it takes is one bad day to leave you feeling down and disappointed. If you can’t shake the feeling, you can use positive mantras to make a difference in your life.

Disappointment can be self-limiting and hard to snap out of. By taking time to use affirmations, you’ll give your mind a reset and allow yourself to refocus. Choose mantras that involve words such as happiness, peace, joy, and gratitude.

11. Stay Focused as You Repeat Mantras

If you want mantras to work in your life, you must focus on the words that you say. You can’t have other thoughts on your mind as you say positive phrases. The other things on your mind will lessen the impact of your mantra, and it might not improve your mindset at all.

Make sure to focus by pushing away any other thoughts. It helps to say the phrases out loud because it’s harder to think about other things when you’re speaking. However, if you can’t vocalize your mantras, try closing your eyes and focusing on the positivity.

You don’t only have to worry about other thoughts taking away from your mantras, either. Be wary of external distractions, too, as they can interfere with your ability to focus.

12. Make Sure Your Mantra is Possible

When you choose your mantras, make sure they are possible in your current life. While you should challenge yourself, leaps could cause you to feel overwhelmed and set you back. Choose mantras that you can live up to today and ones on which you can make daily progress.

Final Thoughts on Ways to Put the Power of Mantras to Work in Life

Your words and thoughts carry intense energy, so make sure you’re putting the power of mantras to work in your life. Focus on positivity and say your mantras powerfully. As you become more comfortable saying positive affirmations, it’ll become a habit for you.

You can use the power of mantras anywhere, and you can implement them in ways that improve your routines. Mantras don’t require much time, especially since you can repeat them while doing other things. Keep using them every day and choose the ones that bring the most positivity to your life.

6 Things That Happen To Your Body When You Do Side Planks Every Day

November 21, 2022 by Kristen Lawrence

Doing side planks daily can help improve your health and stamina without too much effort. You don’t need a gym membership to perform this exercise to build muscles; it only takes a few minutes to complete. Home workouts have become increasingly popular due to the pandemic and hectic schedules.

Even if you’re a beginner, side planks offer easy exercise to start your health journey on the right note. Adding them to your workout routine will promote positive changes to your physical and mental well-being. We all need exercise, and everyone enjoys different types of physical activity.

You should take to side planks easily if you enjoy stretching and yoga poses. Even if you don’t, you can still add them to your exercise plan occasionally to build strength.

Six Benefits of Side Planks

Below, we’ll go over a few benefits of side planks that will encourage you to try them out.

1. They give your core muscles a workout.

If you’ve ever done side planks before, then you know they provide a killer ab workout. After you finish, your abs will likely be on fire from holding the position for so long. Studies show that side planks strengthen the oblique muscles, an area that regular crunches don’t target. The obliques get a workout because of the sideways position of the body. Holding yourself up with one arm and the side of your foot activates these often overlooked muscles.

2. Side planks stabilize the abdominal muscles.

Side planks force you to engage the ab muscles to keep your body in the same position. This exercise should become part of your regular routine if you want a strong core. Having tight core muscles can help prevent injury and increase muscle endurance. They also improve balance since you have to remain in one position for a prolonged period.

3. They don’t put pressure on the lower back or neck.

Many pregnant women prefer doing side planks over crunches since they put less pressure on the body. In particular, the neck and lower back get a break from tedious workouts and uncomfortable positions. Side planks target the abs, glutes, and shoulder stabilizers as these muscles engage to hold the posture.

You can enjoy this relatively undemanding exercise even if you’re not pregnant. It’s especially beneficial for people with chronic back or neck pain since side planks don’t exacerbate these areas.

4. They protect the spine.

One study showed that side planks activate the quadratus lumborum, a stabilizing muscle deep within the spine. Exercising this muscle regularly can reduce the risk of spinal or back injuries.

5. Side planks help you achieve a flat stomach.

If you’ve worked out before, you know that building ab muscles can be challenging. It takes hours of hard work and dedication to get the six-pack most people dream of having. However, side planks may help make the process a bit easier. The study found that postpartum women who engaged in deep core stability exercises, which included planks, had improved health after eight weeks.

6. This exercise increases flexibility and agility.

Planks also help the body become more limber and less rigid over time. After sitting at a desk all day, most people have so much tension and stress stored in their tissues. Planks help relieve some of this tension by increasing resistance in the body. Therefore, this resistance cancels the accumulated stress and allows it to leave the body after a strenuous workout.

Most people have difficulty starting a new workout routine, but it becomes a healthy addiction. The release of endorphins keeps them returning for more, something you can enjoy by doing side planks daily.

How to Do Side Planks

Before beginning, ensure you have a comfortable surface to exercise on, such as a soft mat or floor.

First, lie on the mat on your right side, keeping your legs straight and feet stacked. Place your right elbow under your right shoulder and point your forearm away. Keep your hand clenched into a fist with your pinky closest to the floor.
Keeping your neck in a relaxed position, exhale and lock your ab muscles in tight.
Next, slowly lift your hips off the mat until your body forms a straight line. You’ll support your entire body weight using your elbow and the side of your right foot.
Try to hold this position as long as possible, but for at least fifteen seconds.
Repeat on your left side. Complete at least three rounds on each side for the best results.

Avoid These Mistakes When Doing Side Planks

If this exercise is too challenging, feel free to use modifications. For instance, you can always lower the bottom leg or complete the posture on your knees while you build stamina.
Be mindful of your hip placement; you don’t want them to sag because it puts pressure on the back. If you have trouble keeping your hips stacked, use a modification or reduce the exercise duration. Maintaining the correct form takes precedence over holding the position for an extended period.
Avoid doing this exercise if you have back, shoulder, ankle, or neck injuries.
Most importantly, try to relax into the posture and enjoy the workout! Always stop if you feel pain or discomfort in any area of the body.

Final Thoughts on the Benefits of Doing Side Planks Each Day

Side planks offer an excellent ab workout for anyone interested in building strength. In addition, they exercise the glutes and shoulder muscles without requiring too much exertion. You can perform this exercise in your home with only a comfortable mat or floor. If you have difficulty holding the position, you can always modify it to suit your needs.

Planks increase flexibility, agility, and strength throughout the body, making them an excellent addition to any exercise plan. If you try this exercise, let us know the results in the Facebook comments!

How Family Secrets Harm Mental Health, According to Science

November 20, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

There are family secrets hidden in the corners of the minds of most of the people you see every day. Each closet has a few skeletons inside. Indeed, some of these secrets linger in the quiet halls of family homes. Silent agreements hang over them, unspoken rules to not discuss, share, or even think about what you all collectively know.

Research indicates that most people have about five or so deep secrets that they’ve never shared with others. The experience of secrecy can be isolating and may even harm both mental and physical health, yet we all take part in the habit. With family secrets, there’s an additional layer of nuance. Multiple people know something dark, terrible, or shameful, and they are all bound by a silent code of honor to keep that knowledge to themselves.

Sometimes, family members find out about these secrets on their own over time. Other times, older family members do all they can to stop the younger generation from learning the secret. Or, occasionally, family secrets are small ones, known on an individual level, and kept hush-hush from the rest of the family. For example, maybe you caught someone in an affair or learned something about a sibling they don’t want anyone else to know.

But no matter what the context is behind a family secret, the fact is that keeping those secrets can cause significant harm. We’ve already known for a long time that individual secrecy has downsides to an extreme degree. It’s no surprise, then, that this still applies on a grander scale. Here are the harmful impacts of keeping family secrets.

1. Family Secrets Create Motivational Conflict

Motivational conflict refers to a state where you experience two different forms of motivation that go against each other. It exists across some conditions of secrecy, and expert researchers have studied the phenomenon, among other facets of the subject.

The primary goal of keeping any secret, whether on an individual or family level, is to conceal it. This requires, by default, that you have to keep this information away from other people. You fear the consequences of the secret leaking out, so you’re motivated to keep it.

But, at the same time, human beings naturally feel the desire to connect with others. As social creatures, we connect by sharing information. Keeping secrets from others can make you feel disconnected from them and push you into feelings of loneliness. You want to be closer to others, and you want to be open with them, so you’re motivated to share the secret.

What Is Motivational Conflict?

This is what we mean by motivational conflict. There are two motivations here: the desire to keep the secret for fear of consequences and the desire to connect with others. You can only choose to fulfill one of these motivations.

The trouble with secrets is that we know, logically, that you can still try to connect with others while keeping a mystery, but you can’t escape the consequences of telling a secret. This means that you know the best option when choosing between these two evils in this lose-lose situation is to keep the secret. This is how family secrets get perpetuated in a cycle.

There’s a vast difference between keeping a secret and simply not sharing private information. If you willingly share information if someone asks for it, you don’t experience the same kind of motivational conflict as you would with a forcefully concealed secret. Your motivations are in harmony here: you’re motivated to keep things private but not to bury it, so you can still connect with others.

The Untold Harm of Motivational Conflict

Motivational conflict is harmful simply because it’s a lose-lose, no-win situation. But it has additional effects, such as:

Draining your energy by forcing you to go against one personal source of motivation actively
Undermining various social relationships and creating feelings of isolation due to the lack of ability to fulfill the social connection motivation to its fullest
Forcing you to use willpower to avoid sharing the secret constantly
Placing you in a position where you are always deciding between two motivations, never getting a break

2. Family Secrets Can Damage Relationships

Family secrets are often kept for the sake of the family. That’s pretty ironic because the existence of the secret usually has harmful impacts on the family already! Family secrets can harm these bonds by doing the following things:

· Creating Suspicion and Resentment

There are two ways that family secrets spawn resentment and suspicion. The first way is simple. When a family member learns that many other family members have kept secrets from them, they feel betrayed. They think that they can’t trust their family anymore because of all the lies and deception. The second way is by creating an atmosphere where everyone abides by an agreement to keep a secret. This means that family members keep a watchful and suspicious eye on each other to ensure that everyone is falling in line. If the secret gets out and no one admits to spilling the beans, suspicion turns on random family members.

· Breaking Communication

Families need to communicate to stay in a harmonious relationship with one another. Secrets damage this ability. Family members always feel like they have to hold something back and never talk about their thoughts or feelings regarding the secret. Without communication, no relationships can flourish.

· Pointing Blame

When family secrets are rooted in the actions and behaviors of family members, the blame starts getting tossed around. Family members blame each other for the existence or necessity of the secret. Until that secret is brought out of hiding and openly addressed, nothing can be hashed out or productively discussed. This causes responsibility just to get shifted behind closed doors, where everyone thinks someone else is to blame.

· Harming Next Generations

A lot of family secrets don’t die out with the older generations. They are perpetuated, even when the adults try to keep the kids away from that knowledge. Children are very perceptive and can tell when something is “off” or withheld from them even at a young age. Eventually, these secrets will come out, and the next generation will learn of them. They will then have to shoulder the burdens of these secrets themselves. The cycle will continue with each new generation until a decision is made to stop the spiral. This can also happen in more painful ways: children who believe in an idyllic version of their family will feel betrayed and shattered when they learn the truth.

3. Family Secrets Can Harm Mental Wellbeing

Keeping family secrets is mentally harmful for many of the same reasons that keeping an individual secret can be detrimental to you. There are many mental resources that go into maintaining a facade so that a secret can be safely or accurately kept. This harms your mental state by creating:

· Stress and Anxiety

You have to always be on your guard to avoid revealing a secret. Having to talk to someone and hedging upon the subject of the cover-up can add a lot of stress to your life. You’re always worried that someone will find out the secret or that your family will be suspicious of you for letting it slip if you do.

· Family Secrets Cause Wandering Minds

Family secrets aren’t ever really “positive.” That’s why they’re secrets – they’re subjects of shame or negativity that the family feels they must keep private. When you think about these secrets, your mind is likely to wander to why they must be maintained. You’ll be stuck on negative loops of thought, unable to set them free.

· Isolation and Depression

As previously mentioned, keeping secrets is isolating. Feeling that you’re alone in something can make you feel depressed. You can’t turn to the people around you, so you lose social support and feel even worse. Things might feel helpless or hopeless, especially if you know that you’re unlikely ever to be able to reveal the secret. You know your life will be like this forever, and that’s a depressing thought – that you can’t change or stop the thing that’s making you feel this way.

· Repression

To keep certain family secrets, you may have to repress them. Repression tends to make issues bigger, with studies showing that it can harm your overall well-being. Repression also doesn’t solve the original negative emotion. Instead, it amplifies it over time. You may eventually feel the need to express the secret, making it even more volatile desperately.

Final Thoughts On Some Harmful Impacts Of Keeping Family Secrets

Not all family secrets are significant, and some are fine to keep. For example, one person’s secrets might be their business. They can have the right to decide who to include in their trusted circle of who knows that “secret.” And, of course, if a family secret is positive, like a surprise party, there’s no issue there!

There are also different circles in families. For instance, a nuclear family may be open about some things they won’t share with extended family. Or perhaps one branch of a large family has behaved negatively, or in a toxic way, so they’re excluded from knowing something. Or, maybe a family secret isn’t so much under active concealment as it is just considered something that’s private and not for the knowledge of social media and the general, barely acquainted public.

The bottom line is that each family is unique, and there are essential pieces of context to a lot of family secrets. When determining if a family secret is harmful, you have to consider its nuance. Who is it harming? What would likely happen if the secret came out? Has concealing the secret caused stress, strain, and toxic dynamics between family members?

Living with family secrets and their harmful impacts is difficult. But facing them and being open with them, breaking the seal of silence, may be even harder. It can damage a family entirely and create huge rifts there. One must think cautiously before airing “dirty laundry” from their family. Approaching the topic with tact, empathy, and a desire for strengthening family bonds is the best way to begin.

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